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1
00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:05,037
Oh, yes.
2
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,339
I'd like to speak to
The chancellor about--
3
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,842
No. No, this is
Dean albright. Right.
4
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,543
Lunch time, mary!
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,977
Shh. Shh. Shh.
6
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,013
No, I've already
Left 3 messages.
7
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:15,947
I'll call back later.
8
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,617
What's his problem?
Who?
9
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,918
The chancellor.
10
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,919
If I didn't know
Any better,
11
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,654
I'd swear
He was avoiding me.
12
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,556
Why would he be avoiding you?
You're the dean.
13
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,592
And you've done
An exemplary job.
14
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,826
You think so?
Yes.
15
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,694
You've done nothing
Offensive.
16
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,564
You haven't caused
A single ripple on the pond.
17
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,167
No controversial proposals,
18
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,703
No expensive
Cutting-edge teachers,
19
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:41,172
No innovative ideas
To shake up the status quo.
20
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,008
You've been
Almost invisible.
21
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,311
Well, I did institute
Those slanted
Parking spaces
22
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:47,379
In the faculty lot.
23
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,881
Yeah,
And no one cared.
24
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,818
Oh, come on, mary,
You've lasted 6 months
25
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,719
In a job that none
Thought you could keep
26
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,488
And even fewer
Thought you deserved.
27
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,291
It's your half-year
Anniversary.
28
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,959
I'll call some people.
We'll have a party.
29
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:04,062
Oh, I can't. I have that
Advisory board meeting.
30
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,297
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
31
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,734
No. They changed that meeting
To this morning.
32
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:09,801
Well, they said
They called you.
33
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,470
Nobody called me.
34
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,205
Then I guess
You missed it.
35
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,672
Look, I'm gonna
Grab a sandwich
36
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,475
And place a quick bet.
I'll be back.
37
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:24,416
Well, now, that...
Is suspicious.
38
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,984
But now we can
Have that party!
39
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,957
[door closes]
40
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,091
Hello, sally.
41
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,792
Oh, hey, don.
42
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:36,761
Thanks for
Bringing my stuff.
43
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,363
No problem.
44
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:41,599
This is always the most
Awkward part of a breakup.
45
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,800
Well, you mean
Seeing each other
46
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,069
For the first time
After it happens?
47
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:47,872
No, I mean making sure
You get your good stuff back.
48
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:50,776
Oh, right. Well,
Here's your box.
49
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:51,976
Wow.
50
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:53,978
Oh, my suede belt.
51
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,449
My bathroom light.
52
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,223
I didn't
Leave this here.
53
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,492
It was screwed in
Over my sink.
54
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:11,763
And it was tough to get off,
Let me tell you.
55
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,631
We don't like
Tuna melts, ok?
56
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,934
All: ohhh.
57
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,502
It's ok, you guys.
58
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,670
Forgive us,
We're idiots.
59
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,072
That's all right.
I was just leaving.
60
00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:21,206
Oh, no.
You can come back
Anytime.
61
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,007
Cut it out.
62
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,009
I'm fine.
63
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,210
You look great.
Of course.
64
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,578
Sure, you are.
65
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,746
Don: shut up!
66
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,150
This must be hard
For you.
67
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,552
No, it's ok.
68
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:37,322
Well, that's a cry
For help if ever
I heard one.
69
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,524
Now, you listen
To me, girl.
Put this down.
70
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:44,563
You have got to go
Someplace quiet
And beautiful.
71
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,030
A place where
You can just sit
72
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,299
And look out
Over the water
73
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,201
And think
About your life.
74
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,270
Think about who it is
That you want to be.
75
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,272
Yeah.
76
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:55,907
Where's that?
77
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,342
Riverboat gambling
78
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,777
On the cincinnati queen, baby!
79
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:03,782
Yee-haw!
80
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,183
Yeah, I heard
About that.
81
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,952
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
It's a floating casino
82
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,953
The size of
2 football fields.
83
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,857
Hold up.
2 football fields?
84
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,792
dos footbalito.
85
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,893
Oh, yeah.
86
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,161
I'm in, baby.
I'm gonna start packing.
87
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:52,764
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions and
The national broadcasting
Company
88
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,570
[clears throat]
89
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:04,175
Mary, I'm sorry
I missed your half-year
Anniversary party.
90
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,611
I was there in spirit.
91
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,813
Well, then maybe
Your spirit
92
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,749
Wouldn't mind
Ponying up 13 bucks?
93
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,750
Oh, that's ok.
94
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,551
Judith, did you
Get a call
95
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:14,919
That the board meeting
Was moved up?
96
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,555
No.Oh. Ok.
97
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,856
It was in the memo.
98
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:18,856
There was a memo?
99
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,495
Oh. Oh, chancellor, I'm
So glad you stopped by.
100
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,596
I was wondering
If I could get
Your ear for just--
101
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:29,167
Actually, I was hoping
To talk to judith
For a moment.
102
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,869
Oh.
103
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,871
If you could spare
Just a minute, though,
104
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,707
I'd like to talk to you
About the schedule for
Next summer session.
105
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,209
Next summer?
106
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,211
I wouldn't worry
About that, mary.
107
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,213
That's
A long way off.
108
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,983
"Don't worry
About next summer."
109
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,085
What's that supposed
To mean?
110
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,988
It means you might not
Be here by next summer.
111
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,423
What?
112
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,660
No. No, I'm probably
Just overreacting.
113
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,029
Perhaps.
And perhaps not.
114
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,497
Oh, dick.
115
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,402
Think about it, mary.
116
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,237
The clues are all there.
117
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,238
What clues?
118
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,405
Think, mary.
119
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,808
Who's having
Mysterious liaisons
120
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,710
With the chancellor?
121
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,045
Judith.
122
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:16,881
And who happened to receive
The strangely elusive memo
123
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,317
About this morning's
Meeting?
124
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,751
Judith.
125
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,453
And when
You got named as dean,
126
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,289
Who called you an undeserving
Ass-kisser behind your back?
127
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,657
Judith!
128
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,761
She was among them, yes.
129
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,330
I can't believe it.
130
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,565
You better believe it,
Mary.
131
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,134
There's a stink in the air,
132
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:39,637
And for once, the majority
Of it is not me.
133
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,444
See, you got your blackjack
Table right there,
134
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,246
That's the wheel of fortune.
135
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,482
Over there,
That's the baccarat.
136
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,183
See them tables over there?
137
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,452
They're for craps.
138
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,724
Where's harry?
139
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,491
I don't know,
And I don't care.
140
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,862
'cause vicki and I are
Having a girls' night
Out. Am I right?
141
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,797
Oh, we're gonna gonna
Break some hearts, baby!
142
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,166
Yee-haw!
Whoo!
143
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,100
Let's go.
144
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:17,275
Jackpot! Yeah!
145
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:20,945
Check it out, tommy.
146
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,815
This is the loosest
Machine on the boat.
147
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,450
Harry, it's
A change machine.
148
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:28,152
That's right.
It's changing me
Into a winner.
149
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,621
Cocktails.
150
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,622
Harry, let's go.
151
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:31,722
People want to use
The machine.
152
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,292
Oh, well, I'm sure
That they do.
153
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,493
Come on, baby. Money
Comes to money.
154
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,795
Come on, mama.
155
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,364
[machine
Dispenses change]
156
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,232
Yeah!
157
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,543
Judith.
158
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,745
How are you doing?
159
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,413
Fantastic.
160
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,614
Funny thing.
161
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,083
I was thinking about what
You and chancellor stevens
162
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,085
Were discussing
This morning.
163
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,955
You know about
The, um, the, uh...
164
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,424
What were you
Talking about again?
165
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,094
I'm sorry. That was
A private conversation.
166
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,762
Yeah, of course it was.
167
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,865
I--I understand.
168
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,235
By the by, jude--
169
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,271
And I call you jude
Because we're so close--
170
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,742
Mary and I have had
A falling out. We're over.
171
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,644
And I'd like to get a good
Plot going against her.
172
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,412
Got anything on that?
173
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,947
Dick, I have a class.
174
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:29,947
No, you don't.
175
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,717
Ok, just leave.
176
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,452
Tell me what's going on
Between you and the chancellor
177
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,521
And I will never set foot
In your office again.
178
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,990
Fine. You know
Chancellor stevens'
179
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,625
Annual badger day
Address?
180
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,728
Oh, that insipid
Yawn fest?
181
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,363
I write them for him.
182
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,932
Last year's was tremendous.
183
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,038
You might want to trim about
An hour out of it this time.
184
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,206
Oh, hey, jude.
185
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,108
Gotta go.
I'll see you later.
186
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,146
Badger day address.
187
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,715
How stupid
Does she think I am?
188
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,283
I know. And
Did you see the way
189
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,585
She rushed you
Out of her office?
190
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,785
And how about
How she slipped
191
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,287
That document
Into her desk.
192
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,489
Pretty subtle, huh?
193
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,390
That bitch wants my job!
194
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,797
this goes out to the lovely ladies in the corner both.
195
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,798
here we go.
196
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,634
♪ I left a good job
In the city ♪
197
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:26,304
♪ working for the man
Every night and day ♪
198
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,107
♪ but I never lost
One minute of sleep, no ♪
199
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,442
Sally, I'm telling
You, this guy
200
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,678
Is like among
The top 5
201
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,880
Neil diamond
Impersonators
202
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,281
That I have
Ever seen.
203
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,984
He is so hot.
204
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,051
He's hot as hell.
205
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,218
I don't know, vicki.
206
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,621
I've just got this, like,
Urge coming over me.
207
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:47,658
I just want to throw
Something up on that stage.
208
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,128
You mean like
Your panties?
209
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:54,132
What's he gonna do
With my panties?
210
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,733
I'm gonna throw him
A buffalo wing.
211
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,035
Sally, sally,
No, no, no.
212
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,445
Nina, come over here.
213
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:11,383
Who's that strange man
Lurking outside?
214
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,251
It's roberto.
He waters the plants.
215
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:17,021
Ah. The one with
The listening device?
216
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,690
It's a hearing aid.
217
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:20,825
Yeah. Right.
218
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,294
Nina, I need your help.
219
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,562
A few weeks ago I saw you
Hold the elevator
220
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,364
For chancellor stevens'
Assistant ruth.
221
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,599
Yeah. So?
222
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:30,134
It's time to call in
That favor.
223
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,136
Get her to fax over
A log book
224
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,338
Of every call he's made
Over the last 6 months.
225
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,574
No, better make it a year.
226
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,842
Dr. Solomon, will
You stop worrying?
227
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:41,012
There's no conspiracy
Against dr. Albright.
Trust me.
228
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,347
Trust you?
229
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,649
Of course I trust you.
230
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,052
You're
My trusted aide, nina.
231
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:51,890
Nina's in on it.
232
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,125
No!
233
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,127
Oh, hey, dr. Albright.
234
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,863
Nina, how are you?!
235
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,698
I'm good.
236
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,074
See?
237
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:13,311
Oh, my god. I've
Had her in my house.
238
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,814
How deep does
This thing go?
239
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,916
Damn. If only I could get
A look at that document
240
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,383
That judith hid from me.
241
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,186
No matter
How much I find out,
242
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,554
I still only know
A small part.
243
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,157
It's like a riddle
Wrapped around an enigma
244
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,292
Fried up in a conundrum
245
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,661
With chinese mustard
Dipping sauce.
246
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:33,297
Well, I'm not
Going down that easy.
247
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,567
I think you know
What we have to do.
248
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,603
Kill judith and make it
Look like an accident?
No.
249
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,271
We're not gonna make it
Look like an accident?
250
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,939
Oh, come on, dick.
251
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,026
Mary:
What are you doing?
252
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:05,396
Dick: looking for
Infrared sensors.
253
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,897
Smells like
Pine cones.
254
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:08,866
They were out
Of country meadows.
255
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,071
Damn.
It's locked.
256
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,973
Mary...
257
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,676
Tommy taught me how
To get past any lock.
258
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,946
But you must promise
Me never to reveal
This technique.
259
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,448
If it got out, it
Could have dire effects
260
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,917
On society
As we know it.
261
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,960
This is it.
262
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,795
This is the document
Judith was hiding.
263
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,830
Quick. Stuff it
In my underpants.
264
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,499
What?
265
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,868
You're right.
We should read it first.
266
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,870
There must be
50 or 60 pages.
267
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,205
Wait a minute.
268
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,808
This is the chancellor's
Badger day address.
269
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,643
Judith was
Telling the truth.
270
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,544
Oh, my god.
Mary, look at this!
271
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,646
What?
272
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:56,280
It's so redundant!
273
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,083
You could lose
This whole part.
274
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,784
What was I thinking?
275
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:02,320
Cut this, cut this.
276
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,489
Actually this part
Is kind of clever.
277
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,090
Oh, dick, I feel
Like an idiot.
278
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,091
Let's get out of here.
279
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,494
[police siren]
280
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,495
It's the heat.
281
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,797
Mary, run for it!
282
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,000
Dick.
283
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,569
Dick!
284
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:24,742
[whimpering]
Dick?
285
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,581
Whoo!
You are the man.
286
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,851
I am the man.
287
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:36,487
All right. Come on,
Baby, gimme some lovin'.
288
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,588
7!
289
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,357
[cheering]
290
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,691
We're raking
In the dough, baby.
291
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,426
I'm gonna quit
My day job.
292
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,528
You don't have one,
My man.
293
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,997
Well, then I'm gonna
Get one and quit it.
294
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,866
Ok. Here we go.
Ready? Whoo!
295
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,101
11!
296
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,336
[cheering]
297
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,772
All right. Do you want
Me to keep on rolling?
298
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,907
Crowd: yeah!
299
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,541
I can't hear you.
300
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,978
I said do you want me
To keep on rolling?
301
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,146
Yeah!
302
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,080
Eh, I'm done.
303
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,450
What?
Yeah, I'm finished.
304
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,487
Hey. Who wants
To go outside for
Some fresh air?
305
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,324
I can't hear you.
306
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,167
Poor mary.
307
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,568
You're not designed
For flight.
308
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,836
It's your stubby
Little legs,
309
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,138
They let you down.
310
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,675
Oh, dick.
311
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,843
Good-bye, mary.
Don't you leave me.
312
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,278
Don't worry.
I'll be back.
313
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,046
I'm going to get you
Out of here.
314
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,683
In the meantime,
Let this sustain you.
315
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:39,717
Aah!
316
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,153
So elvis says, "Never
Mind with them pills.
317
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,855
I'll just
Slam 'em down."
318
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,790
[laughs]
319
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:47,858
Hey, y'all.
320
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,762
How y'all doin'?
321
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,335
You know I saw you
From the stage.
322
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,704
Oh, my god. He picked us
Out from 11 people.
323
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,072
Be cool, be cool.
324
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,440
Please, sit down.
325
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:11,915
What are
Your names?
326
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:16,321
Well, I'm taffy,
And this is amber.
327
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,189
We're sisters.
328
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:22,360
Uh, we own a bikini shop
On the internet.
329
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,895
Ooh.
330
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,197
W-w-w dot wow.
331
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,798
[laughing]
332
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:34,873
You know, amber here was
Quite moved by your finale.
333
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,241
Oh, is that so?
334
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,708
Yes.
335
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,211
You know, when you
Lit that sparkler,
336
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:45,049
I felt like I was
Coming to america.
337
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,020
Today.
338
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:56,793
Oh, hi, don. I'm just
Going in to see mary.
339
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:58,162
Uh, hold it.
Hold it there, dick.
340
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,564
That wouldn't
Be a cake
341
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,931
With a file baked
In it, would it?
342
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,601
[laughs] Don't--
Don't be silly.
343
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,537
[metal detector beeps]
344
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,310
[metal detector beeps]
345
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,216
[metal detector beeps]
346
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,519
Sometimes
It's the belt.
347
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:27,958
[metal detector beeps]
348
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:29,994
I don't know
What to say.
349
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,362
Oh, these things
Happen.
350
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,269
No, you're clear.
351
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,440
[metal detector beeps]
352
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:53,318
I'd never
Been in trouble
Until he came along.
353
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,353
But he has this way
Of talking, see,
354
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,587
When you know
He's crazy,
355
00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,224
But you just can't help
But listen to him.
356
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,226
And all of a sudden,
You find yourself
357
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:05,396
Doing things you
Never thought you'd do.
358
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,665
Bad things,
359
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,234
Stupid things.
360
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,470
And where is he now?
361
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,939
Free as a bird.
362
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:18,576
While I'm in here
Taking the fall.
363
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,711
We know
How you feel.
364
00:16:19,713 --> 00:16:21,713
Yeah. You need
A new pimp.
365
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,318
Pimp? I'm not a hooker.
366
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,586
I'm a professor.
367
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:32,357
Hmm. Too bad. You could
Make a nice living.
368
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,491
Thank you.
369
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,792
Mary,
Look who's here.
370
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,561
Judith and
Chancellor stevens.
371
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,195
You're looking good,
Chancellor.
372
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,230
Isn't he looking
Good, mary?
373
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,965
I was just about
To say that.
374
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,667
Mary, mary, mary.
375
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,869
Chancellor.
376
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,172
Ginger.
Chancellor.
377
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,076
Mary, what could you
Have been thinking?
378
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,046
Breaking and entering.
379
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,915
Well, actually,
It's very funny.
380
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,317
You're gonna love it
When you hear it
381
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:02,219
Because it's very,
Very funny.
382
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,155
You want to hear it now?
'cause you're gonna laugh.
383
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,490
Mary, mary, mary, mary.
384
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,691
No!
385
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,892
She's not to blame.
386
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:11,662
She had an accomplice.
I talked her into it.
387
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,532
If anyone goes down for
This, it should be me.
388
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,166
That's very noble
Of you, dick,
389
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,769
But we caught mary
Trying to bash her way
390
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,071
Out of my office
With a crowbar.
391
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,372
Well, he taught me that.
392
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,674
Mary, mary--
393
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,376
Oh, shut up!
394
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,482
$4,200 is not bad
For a night's work.
395
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,384
Exactly.
396
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,953
Now, let's treat
Ourselves to
A souvenir visor.
397
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:36,921
Oh, they're nice.
398
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,923
Well, I'll get one
For each of us.
399
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,257
Ok.
Ooh.
400
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,060
How 'bout a high roller
Tote bag?
401
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,294
Vicki would love this.
402
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,495
I would love this.
403
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,596
I'll get 2.
404
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:48,165
Ooh. And a jumbo tin
Of river taffy.
405
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,166
Let's slow down.
406
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,134
This all the snow globes
You got?
407
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,135
Harry, come on,
That's enough.
408
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,402
Ooh. Look
At this jacket.
409
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,104
I need a medium.
You got a medium?
Harry, walk away.
410
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,573
Don't touch me.
411
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,241
I know what I'm doing.
412
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,210
Cocktails!
413
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,548
Oh, yeah?
Do that thing
We did.
414
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,749
Yeah? Hey,
Check this out.
415
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,887
That's my sister.
416
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,957
Ladies, ladies,
Excuse me.
417
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,727
I am gonna go
Get these ribs
Packed up to go,
418
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,696
And then
We'll hit my cabin.
419
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,531
Wow. You have
Your own cabin?
420
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,965
Oh, ye--well,
421
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:25,002
I have to share it with
The kenny rogers,
422
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,037
But he sleeps
Like a log.
423
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,742
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
424
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,244
I'm gonna kiss him.
425
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,278
You are not.
426
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,479
I am.
427
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:38,315
I'm gonna kiss
That neil diamond
Impersonator
428
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,251
Right on his big
Sweaty mouth.
429
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,219
That-a-girl, sally.
430
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,655
It's good to see you getting
Your life back on track.
431
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,757
Vicki?
432
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,525
Yes, sally?
433
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:52,063
I feel good.
434
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:53,797
Yeow!
Whoo!
435
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,033
Go get him, girl.
436
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,034
Pretty fancy, huh?
437
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,835
Uh, mr. Diamond...
438
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:13,651
You were right, vicki.
I needed that.
439
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,852
Whoo!
440
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,353
Let's go do
Something else.
441
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,721
Whoo-hoo!
442
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,895
Oh, look at me, dick.
443
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,297
They've stripped me
Of everything.
444
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:30,134
My office, my title,
My dignity.
445
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,336
But there's one thing
They can't take away from me.
446
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,371
Your dignity?
447
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,272
No. I just said
They got that.
448
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,409
There's one thing
They don't got.
449
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,811
My old job. I got that.
450
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,446
Oh, yeah. I got that.
451
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,651
Well, dr. Albright.
452
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,119
Oh...
453
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:53,256
I've been working
For you for 6 months.
454
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,325
Good-bye.
455
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,859
That's it?
456
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,664
Oh, what a couple of
Fools we've been, mary.
457
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,867
Oh, no, dick,
I was the bigger fool.
458
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,736
If I'd just had more
Confidence in myself,
459
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,104
I wouldn't have gotten
Into this jam.
460
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,239
No, mary, I was
The bigger fool.
461
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,642
If I hadn't been so
Suspicious of everyone,
462
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,110
Things would never have
Gotten this crazy.
463
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,647
No, dick, I was
The bigger fool.
I got caught.
464
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:20,184
No, mary,
I was the bigger--
465
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:23,487
No, wait. You were
The bigger fool.
466
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:25,956
Promise me one thing, dick.
467
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,792
The next time the world
Gets all topsy-turvy
468
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,461
And I start acting
Crazy again,
469
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,062
Do me a favor, will you?
470
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,664
Slap some sense into me?
471
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:40,170
I said next time.
472
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,643
Harry, these warm-up
Suits are fantastic.
473
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:47,978
Yeah, well, you know,
474
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,814
I like to spread
The good fortune around.
475
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,015
How much did you win?
476
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,016
$4,200.
477
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,417
Yeah, and how much
Did you spend?
478
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,686
Let's call it 5 grand.
479
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,556
That's how casinos
Make all their money.
Gift shops?
480
00:20:58,558 --> 00:20:59,557
That's how
They get you.
481
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,759
How can you resist?
Oh, you can't.
482
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,729
It's like our brains
Have minds of their own.
483
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,197
Mine became so paranoid.
484
00:21:06,199 --> 00:21:07,698
I was completely
Convinced
485
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,133
That mary was gonna
Lose her job.
486
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,133
And did she?
487
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:11,401
Yeah.
488
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:12,770
So I guess
Being paranoid
489
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,272
Is kind of like
Being psychic.
490
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,640
Well, at least mary's
Back in your office.
491
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,375
That's nice.
Yeah, it's great.
492
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,377
Yee-haw!
493
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:23,480
Whoo-hoo!
494
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,620
It's a girl
Thing.
495
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,622
You wouldn't
Understand.
496
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,592
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions and
The national broadcasting
Company
497
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:42,366
Oh, mary, it's so nice
To have you back
In the office with me.
498
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,201
It is kind of homey.
499
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,870
Would you mind
Just moving a hair
To your left?
500
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:47,905
There's a nice
Window view
501
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,273
I've kind of
Gotten used to.
502
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:51,275
Ok.
503
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,576
Skitch more.
504
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,213
Almost there.
505
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,382
Another smidge.
506
00:21:58,384 --> 00:21:59,583
Now down 2 inches.
507
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,319
Perfect.
508
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,488
Welcome home, mary.
509
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,989
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
36077
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