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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,271
Bye, dick!
I'll see you
At the office.
2
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:09,407
Mary, don't leave.
I was bringing you
Breakfast in bed.
3
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,010
That's very sweet,
But I think
I'll just grab
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,112
Some coffee
And a muffin.
5
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:16,148
Oh, that's ok.
Believe it or not,
6
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,550
I just threw
All this together.
7
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,352
I never would've
Guessed.
8
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,389
Hey, dick.
9
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,458
Oh, you two are up
Bright and early.
10
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,459
We just got back.
11
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,494
Don took me on
An all-night
Stakeout.
12
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,762
You must be
Exhausted.
13
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,898
No. We fell asleep
Around 11:00.
14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,367
Yeah.
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,703
I'm reasonably sure
Nothing went down,
Though.
16
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,937
I'm a pretty light
Sleeper.
17
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,873
I just love
Spending the night
In your arms.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,208
Oh, me, too.
19
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,916
Hey, I gotta go
Hit the can.
20
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,454
Tommy, am I a virgo
Or a capricorn?
21
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,088
I don't know.
What's your birthday?
22
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,289
Does it matter?
23
00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:00,792
Because this horoscope
Right heeerrrre--
24
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,395
Incoming message from
The big giant head!
25
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,896
Hey, dick,
Get in here!
26
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,832
To ensure better
Customer service,
27
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,766
This transmission
May be monitored.
28
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:11,170
What is it?
The big giant head
29
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,606
Has received
Your lieutenant's request
For gender reassignment.
30
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,308
Sally sent what?
That thing off,
Like, 3 years ago.
31
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:20,679
The big giant head
Hereby approves
Your request.
32
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,114
For your convenience,
Your lieutenant's body
33
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:26,017
Will be switched
With that of your
High commander.
34
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,786
Lieutenant,
You get in here!
35
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,056
Prepare to exchange forms
In 3, 2, 1...
36
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,691
Achoo!
Achoo!
Achoo!
37
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:38,163
Oh, no...
38
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,831
Where are my boobs?
39
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,068
I've got them!
40
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,203
You're me!
You're me!
41
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,138
Dick?
What?
42
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,273
Aah!
Oh, great.
What happened?
43
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,208
The big giant head
Just switched
Their bodies.
44
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,377
Wow.
45
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,379
Oh, my god!
46
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:59,017
I'm gorgeous!
47
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:02,220
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions and
The national broadcasting
Company
48
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:25,343
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
49
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:34,585
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
50
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,757
Your request to return
To your original earth bodies
51
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,993
Will be answered in
The order in which
It was received.
52
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,931
Transmission ending
In 3, 2, 1...
53
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,699
Achoo!
54
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,101
What's the word?
55
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,635
He put us on
The waiting list.
56
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:51,970
Damn!
57
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:55,574
Man, it took him
3 years to answer
The first one.
58
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,009
This is horrible,
Just horrible!
59
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,410
Why, in heaven's name,
60
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,680
Would you put in
A request to
Switch bodies?
61
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,415
Lieutenant, what
Were you thinking?
62
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,385
When we first got here,
I didn't want to be
The woman,
63
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,053
But that was
A long time ago
64
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,489
Before I realized
How much I like men.
65
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,824
Well, I cannot be stuck
In a woman's body.
66
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,793
Dammit! I'm
The high commander!
67
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:18,029
[crying] What are we
Gonna do, dick?
68
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,566
Pull yourself
Together, man!
69
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,301
I'll tell you
What we're gonna do.
70
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,968
We're gonna live
Each other's lives
71
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,204
As normally
As possible
72
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,772
Until
The big giant head
Gets back to us.
73
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,107
Oh, great!
74
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,710
Ohh!
75
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,781
What am I supposed
To do with your...
76
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,617
You know, goods?
77
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,618
Just pick a side
And commit.
78
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,954
Yup. Till you learn
The ins and outs,
79
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,289
You might wanna consider
Wearing a cup.
80
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,658
This is so weird.
81
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,993
Oh,
Stop complaining.
82
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,527
Look at these
Willowy limbs.
83
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,229
I don't know what
To do with them.
84
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,897
My center
Of gravity's
So low,
85
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,699
And would you look
At these breasts!
86
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,934
Hey, dick,
Can we touch 'em?
87
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,104
Be my guest.
They're not mine.
88
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,672
Hey!
89
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,778
So help me god,
If you touch those,
You will die.
90
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,420
[students chattering]
91
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,255
All right,
Settle down, settle down.
92
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,291
[chatter continues]
93
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,092
All right,
Everybody shut up
94
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,528
Before I throw you out
The freakin' window!
95
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,867
So, what are
We doing here?
96
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,869
Surface tension
And liquidity.
97
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,237
I have a question
For you--
98
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,172
Where'd you get
Those shoes?
99
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,541
Uh...Pic-and-pay.
100
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,378
Oh, I love that place.
It's so cool!
101
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,180
Has anybody else here
Been to pic-and-pay?
It's so awesome.
102
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,650
Yeah. I got
Some wool pants
There, half off.
103
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,352
You did?
Yeah, but they
Weren't my size,
104
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:50,389
And they didn't
Have a lining, and I'm
Wearing them right now.
105
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:53,124
See what I mean?
106
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,193
Ok...So, uh...
We got, uh...
107
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:59,431
Value...And...
Selection.
108
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,304
This is what we're
Looking for here.
109
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,576
Well, I'm off
To cabo san lucas.
110
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,345
You have fun, doug,
111
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,879
And don't you worry
About nothin'
112
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,616
But the señoritas
And the margaritas, ok?
113
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,017
Because harry's
Holding down the fort.
114
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:21,887
What the hell.
115
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,757
You're in charge
Of the bar.
Yup.
116
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,693
You got a lot
Of responsibility.
That's right.
117
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:32,397
Doug's not
Too bright, is he?
Not particularly, no.
118
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:39,804
Man, those guys
Look like badasses.
119
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:40,739
You think?
120
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,473
Yeah. Look
At 'em, man.
121
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,009
They are clearly
bad asses.
122
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,512
Well, just one way
To find out.
123
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:54,852
Excuse me, are you
And your friends
Here badasses?
124
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,756
Heh heh heh...
We'll have 3 beers.
125
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,823
Ha ha ha!
126
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:02,860
Oh, man,
They're badasses.
127
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,697
[car horn honking]
128
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,866
[honk honk]
129
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,037
Oh, yes, the honking
Drives me mad
With desire!
130
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,141
Ah, you've noticed
I have breasts.
Good for you.
131
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,214
Don left this
In our bathroom.
132
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,450
Hey, sally,
You look nice.
133
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:28,520
Why, thank you.
You've got me
All hot now.
134
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,521
I'd jump right into bed
With you,
135
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,758
But you'll
Have to get in line behind
2 construction workers,
136
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,494
A mailman,
And a 12-year-old boy.
137
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,762
Sorry.
138
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:40,298
Sally, he was
Just paying you an
Innocent compliment.
139
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,800
I'm quite aware
Of how sexually
Attractive I am.
140
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,569
I get it.
Now let's move on.
141
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,104
Sally, please,
Calm down.
142
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:50,575
What is that,
Some sort of
Menstruation crack?
143
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:54,045
Well, I've got
A news flash for
You, don orville,
144
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,381
And for all the men
Of rutherford.
145
00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:01,052
Beneath this pretty package
Is a mind!
146
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,522
Do you hear me?
A mind!
147
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:11,696
Oh, hey, nina.
148
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:15,199
You went to
Pic-and-pay?
149
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,568
Yeah.
150
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,738
I couldn't find
Anything except
These stupid wingtips.
151
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,774
They're not even
Patent leather.
152
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,676
Men's shoes suck!
153
00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:27,812
Well, that's too bad.
154
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,715
My feet are huge.
I'm disgusting.
155
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,018
Ok.
156
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,555
There you are.
Where were you?
157
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,890
Oh, hey, albright.
158
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,058
You were supposed
To meet me for lunch!
159
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,963
I'm having a bad day.
You wanna lay off?!
160
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,900
I was waiting
At the baguette
For over an hour.
161
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,436
Yeah? Well,
I was teaching
That horrible class,
162
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:54,439
And I couldn't take it,
So I went to get some shoes,
163
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,374
And I couldn't find
Anything I liked,
164
00:07:56,376 --> 00:08:01,245
[crying] And then I
Came back here, and you
Started yelling at me!
165
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:04,215
I'm sorry, dick,
But I was waiting
An hour.
166
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,816
I can't breathe.
167
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,520
Are you ok?
168
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:12,056
You don't understand
What I'm going through.
169
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,426
I mean,
Just look at these!
170
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,894
I'm here to help.
171
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,163
You can't help.
Nobody can help.
172
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,499
I feel so trapped.
173
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:30,107
[ let's hear it for the boy playing]
174
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,418
Whoo, sally...
Lookin' hot, man!
175
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,955
Yeah! Walk
that around!
176
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,524
Lay off, buttheads!
I'm having a crappy day.
177
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,128
I can take the ugly shoes,
I can take the stupid job,
178
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:53,631
But I'll be damned if
I'm gonna walk around
With love handles!
179
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,499
Are you wearing
Lip gloss?
180
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:58,269
It's not a gloss.
It's a shiny balm.
181
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,439
Dick is really neglecting
His lips.
182
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:10,381
Hey! What are you doing
To my body, you moron?
183
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,151
You're gonna get it
Fat and stretched out!
184
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,453
Lieutenant,
I always eat this way.
185
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,788
Well, you
Can't anymore.
186
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,389
You'll never keep
A boyfriend.
187
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,958
Aha! Speaking
Of boyfriends--
188
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,960
I've decided that don
Is no gentleman.
189
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,728
I think it's time
You moved on.
190
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,397
You better
Not mess up
191
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,164
My relationship
With don.
192
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,165
Oh, please.
193
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,167
Oh, you are
Such a bonehead!
194
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:34,172
After I tried so hard
Not to blow things
With albright.
195
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:41,346
"Tried"?
What does that mean?
What happened?
196
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,481
Nothing.
197
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,117
Tell me, dammit!
198
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,852
Well,
I got bummed out
199
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:51,856
When I couldn't find
Nice shoes for your
Big, fat feet!
200
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,992
And I may have
Gotten a little...
Weepy.
201
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,561
Thank you so much.
202
00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,398
Now she thinks
I'm some hysterical,
Shoe-loving wussy!
203
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,601
You're worried
About getting fat?
Just watch this.
204
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,671
Give me that sandwich,
You horrible man!
205
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,940
Hey, hey, hey!
Let's chill!
206
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,241
How can I chill?
207
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,343
He's screwing up
Everything with don!
208
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,645
[muffled] She's screwing up
My relationship with mary!
209
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:18,382
Oh, people,
People, people!
210
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:22,320
Look...You guys
Have got to get
Over this!
211
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,654
When we landed
On earth,
212
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:26,157
We had no attachment
To these bodies,
But we adapted.
213
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,892
We figured out how
To work with them.
214
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,827
You don't
Understand,
Tommy.
215
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,996
I like being
The woman.
216
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:34,899
Who cares if you
Only earn 60 cents
On the dollar
217
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,135
If you can have
Skin like that?
218
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,237
Mary doesn't like
Your skin.
219
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,572
She likes my skin!
220
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,974
Now you listen
To me, dick--
221
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:44,975
I'm sally!
222
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,578
I don't give a damn
Who you are!
223
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,947
If you don't start
Working together,
224
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,216
You're gonna lose
Don and mary.
225
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,758
You're right.
226
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:05,563
Truce.
227
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,666
All right,
Truce.
228
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,235
That's better.
229
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:20,111
Not with
That sandwich,
You don't!
230
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,281
Where are they?
231
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,950
Right there.
Go cuff 'em, don.
232
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,685
Uh...What for?
233
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,922
That guy over there,
He keeps ordering drinks.
234
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,423
And talking.
235
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,226
And that other guy
Keeps laughing
At something.
236
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:38,862
Drinking, talking,
Laughing in a bar.
237
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,264
No law against that.
238
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,833
Hey, we pay taxes.
How long is this
Gonna go on
239
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,502
Before the police
Do something?
240
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:45,903
This is typical.
241
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:50,675
Why don't you just
Go eat another
Doughnut, don!
242
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,611
I'd like to help
You out, guys, but...
243
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,079
Sally.
244
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,146
Don.
245
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,015
Dick!
246
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,819
I'm glad you're
Here, don.
247
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,687
I had to talk
To you.
248
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,723
It's about sally.
249
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,958
That's fine, dick,
250
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,161
But could you back up
About 4 inches?
251
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,496
Oh, yeah, sorry.
You wanna sit down?
252
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,497
Yeah, sure.
253
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,340
I'd like to
Apologize for sally
The other day.
254
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,475
She just feels
Terrible about
The way she acted.
255
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,843
Yeah, it was strange.
256
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,746
Sally really wants
To make it up
To you, don.
257
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,148
That's why I'd
Like to invite
You and sally
258
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,985
Out to dinner with
Me and my girlfriend
Albright.
259
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,453
Would you come, don?
260
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,221
Would you?
261
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,425
Sure.
262
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,861
Oh, good.
I was worried you
Were upset with me.
263
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,097
Hey, you wanna
Watch it?!
Excuse me.
264
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,699
Yeah, you better
Excuse you, bozo!
265
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,266
My boyfriend here's
A cop.
266
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,267
Dick!
267
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,142
I said, my sister's boyfriend.
268
00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,011
I think
Everybody heard that.
269
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,882
Sally, I thought
I heard you.
270
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,617
Mary, you look
Pretty today.
271
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,286
Oh, thanks.
So do you.
272
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,254
Very pretty.
Thanks.
273
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:13,057
Look, I tried
To call dick.
Is he all right?
274
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,394
That's what I came
Here to talk to you
About, mary.
275
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,529
Uh, please,
Sit down.
276
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,965
Dick is fine.
I knew you thought
277
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,868
He was having
A breakdown,
But he wasn't.
278
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,703
He just seemed
So fragile.
279
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,906
You know what I mean?
280
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,646
He's letting
You in, mary.
281
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,613
That's his way.
282
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,517
Or perhaps it was
Performance art.
283
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,587
That's another
Perfectly reasonable
Explanation.
284
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,425
Yeah. Uh, just--
285
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,261
Just tell him that
He can talk to me.
286
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,931
No matter what
Is bothering him,
He can talk to me
287
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,966
Because...
I love him.
288
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:56,968
Oh!
289
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,706
Oh, mary!
290
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,040
Say it again.
291
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:05,877
No.
292
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:13,518
Harry, you been
Shaking that thing
For over an hour.
293
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,652
Have I?
294
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,454
Why don't you just
Pour it already?
295
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:20,324
'cause if I pour it,
I gots to serve it.
296
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,727
What are you
So worried about?
297
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,730
Those guys?
Don't look
At 'em!
298
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,600
You can't
Judge people by
The way they look.
299
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:33,604
Those guys
Are just a bunch
Of pussycats.
300
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,839
Watch me, boys.
301
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,107
Don't go over there.
302
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:40,477
Hi, boys.
Is this seat taken?
303
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,879
It is now.
304
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,983
Oh...Now, which one
Of you big fellas is
Gonna buy me a beer?
305
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:49,053
I will. How about a beer
For the pretty lady?
306
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:54,259
Oh, you're what
I like to call...
Burly.
307
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,161
Look at her.
She survived.
308
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,563
Those guys
Are nice guys
After all.
309
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,165
Man, we're idiots.
310
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,801
Oh, I feel terrible.
Come on.
311
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,739
Guys, I think we
Owe you an apology.
312
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,940
For what?
313
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,943
Well, all this time,
314
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,878
We thought you were
Up to no good.
315
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,879
Criminal types.
316
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,814
Looking for trouble.
Casing the joint...
317
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,883
But now we see
How wrong we were,
318
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,118
So how can we make
This up to you?
319
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,721
We need some
More pretzels.
Ok.
320
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,256
And while
You're at it,
321
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,826
Why don't you
Empty out the
Cash register?
322
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,360
Now.
323
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:36,167
Yeah!
Yeah!
324
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,401
Did I not
Tell you?
325
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,604
You didn't need
To tell me, man.
I knew!
326
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,272
Wait, wait, wait.
Just a second.
327
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,440
We saw this coming.
328
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,608
Miles away,
Brother!
329
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,343
The cash
Register.
330
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,978
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
331
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,149
So, albright--
332
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,986
Mary...What're you
Gonna order?
333
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,288
Well,
The steak tartare
Looks good.
334
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,324
Think I'll order it
Well done.
335
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,658
Ha ha ha ha!
336
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,128
Ha ha ha ha!
337
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,063
Oh, that's funny.
You're funny.
338
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,200
That's really
Desirable in a woman.
Congratulations.
339
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:14,205
Well, pardon me.
I'll be in the
Little boys' room.
340
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,375
Oh, I'll go with you!
This'll be fun!
341
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,314
Are you sure
Your brother's
All right?
342
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,951
All right?
Oh, mary, he's great.
343
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,454
And so good-looking,
Don't you think?
344
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,223
Well, he does
Seem to be in
Better spirits,
345
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,959
But he still seems
So distant.
346
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,496
He doesn't look
At me the way
He used...To.
347
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,768
And how did he
Used to look
At you, mary?
348
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:50,174
Kinda like you're
Looking at me now.
349
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,911
Time to put out
The fire.
350
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,794
Keep your eye on
The road, dick.
351
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,664
So what's
Bothering sally?
352
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,633
Is she still
In a mood?
353
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,468
She looks pretty hot
To me.
354
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,936
She always
Looks hot,
355
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,139
But you said she
Was interested in
Seeing me tonight.
356
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:25,142
She seems
To be paying more
Attention to mary.
357
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:28,012
But you still love her...
Right, don?
358
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,615
Of course I do.
I'm crazy about her.
359
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,949
Ah...
360
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,283
Oh, goody.
361
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,496
Sally, we're in trouble.
You've got to kiss mary.
362
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,898
She knows what?
Something's wrong.
You've got to kiss her.
363
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,199
Not gonna
Happen, dick.
364
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,435
Put me down for
A hug and a handshake,
That's it.
365
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,770
Hey, we're in
This together.
366
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,905
Now, I want
Your lips on
Her lips,
367
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,473
And that's
An order,
Lieutenant!
368
00:17:56,475 --> 00:18:01,946
Have you ever thought
That dick might be
A little...Confused?
369
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,148
Let's talk about sally
For a minute.
370
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,083
She is stalking me.
371
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,219
So, how's
Everybody doing?
372
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,991
Great. Uh, now...
373
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,994
You know, mary,
Dick was just saying
374
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,998
How difficult it
Is for him to sit
Next to you
375
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,734
Without showering you
With kisses.
376
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,169
No, I wasn't.
377
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,372
Yes, you were.
You were saying
How unbearable
378
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:33,077
It is to sit next to her
Without kissing her
This very moment.
379
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,212
Really?
You said that?
380
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,181
Well, yes,
After she told me
381
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,716
That it's taking
All her strength
382
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,953
To keep her lips...
Off don.
383
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:51,795
All right...
I guess that's fair.
384
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,585
That's more tongue
Than I'm used to.
385
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,325
Well, dick, we
Pulled it off.
386
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,360
To a job well done,
Lieutenant.
387
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:28,499
Ahh. So, how'd you
Get out of going
Home with don?
388
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,334
I told him I had
A headache.
389
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,802
Oh, that is so cool.
390
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:34,204
I told albright
I had psoriasis.
391
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:40,177
If we are doomed
To stay in these bodies
For a while,
392
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,012
I suppose
It could be worse.
393
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,948
Don is kind of cuddly.
394
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,116
Mm. And mary's
Mutual funds
395
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:50,121
Have outperformed
The s&p for the
Last 4 quarters.
396
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,857
Well, let's have
A toast, shall we?
397
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:57,661
To newwwwww-- incoming message from the big giant head.
398
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:59,529
Your request
Has been approved.
399
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:02,666
Your lieutenant
And high commander
Will be restored
400
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,202
To their previous
Earth bodies immediately,
401
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:09,340
And a small fee will appear
On your next statement.
402
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,510
Transmission ending
In 3, 2, 1...
403
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,977
Achoo!
Achoo!
Achoo!
404
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,119
Dick?
405
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,854
Sally?
406
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:24,888
We're back!
We're back!
407
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,127
Isn't that great,
Tommy?
408
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,466
Oh, isn't that
Cool, tommy?
409
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,270
Tommy?
I'm not tommy.
410
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,104
Oh, my god!
411
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,708
Ah, I'm just
Screwin' with you.
412
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,915
I learned one thing
From those tough guys
At the bar.
413
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,451
You know how they say
You can't judge a book
By its cover?
414
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,652
It's a big lie.
415
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,688
Mm, true. That's
What the cover's for--
416
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,656
Tells you exactly
What's in the book.
417
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,759
Yeah. From now on,
I look at people,
418
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,295
Make snap judgments,
And stick with 'em.
419
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,796
But it's not true.
420
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,365
I just spent 2 days
In sally's body,
421
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,868
And people made
All sorts of
Assumptions
422
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,369
Based on
How I looked.
423
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,171
And it was still
Me inside.
424
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,507
Yeah. Well, this body
Took some getting
Used to at first,
425
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,443
But now it feels
Like home.
426
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,979
Well, I'm glad to be
Back in my body.
427
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,781
And you know, sally,
I was mad at first,
428
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:28,552
But now I
Really don't mind
The shaved legs.
429
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,821
You know, I did
Your butt, too.
430
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,823
Oh, don't think
I didn't notice.
431
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:36,894
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions and
The national broadcasting
Company
432
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:40,965
Oh, dick, have you
Seen my sweater?
433
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,366
Ah, no.
434
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,802
You know, it's the pink one
With the little white bow.
435
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:45,836
It doesn't ring a bell.
436
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:46,937
Wait a minute.
437
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,072
Open your coat.
438
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,706
Sally, I don't have time
For this nonsense
439
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:50,875
I got to get to work.
440
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,843
Ah-ha!
441
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:56,247
It feels so soft
Against my skin
442
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:58,082
And they don't make
Angora for men.
443
00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:00,417
And besides I look so much
Cuter in it than you do.
444
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:01,785
Take it off.
445
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:03,053
I'll give you
Ten bucks for it.
446
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:04,054
Twenty.
447
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,823
Deal.
35365
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