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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,438
Uh, yes, hello. It seems
That a generous donation
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,441
Has been made in my name
To your organization,
3
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,942
And I was wondering,
4
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,512
How does
Your return policy work?
5
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,946
Yes, I'm serious.
6
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:19,951
I want you to march
Some of those dimes
Right back my way.
7
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,120
Hello?
8
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,421
Hello?!
9
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,957
Merry christmas,
Dr. Solomon.
10
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,324
I baked you
Some cookies.
11
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,959
Oh!
12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,230
Thank you, nina.
13
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:34,600
And I got this for you.
14
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,603
You're making the world
A better place.
15
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,003
And don't try
To get your money back,
16
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:40,972
Because they won't give
You the time of day
Over there.
17
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,875
Well, it's official!
18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,478
The first annual albright
19
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,848
New year's fondue party
Is on!
20
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,083
That's great.
21
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,084
Wow! Ph.D.S
And melted cheese!
22
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:57,256
The cops are going
To have their hands full.
23
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,690
I've got
To tell you, dick,
24
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,225
I'm really excited
About this party.
25
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:04,196
Oh, yes. There's
Nothing like the stink
Of a good fondue.
26
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,999
But I don't see what
The whole hullabaloo
Is about new year's.
27
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,200
What do you mean?
28
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,201
Well, it's so arbitrary.
29
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,702
The earth makes one
Orbit around the sun
30
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,003
Right back
To this random point.
31
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,206
I mean,
The man who came up
With this calendar
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,873
Thought the earth
Was flat.
33
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,543
Do you really want
To be on his team?
34
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,214
You know, a year goes by,
35
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,783
You think what do I have
To show for it,
36
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:29,221
But, sure, I made dean,
I'm making a lot more money,
37
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:32,724
I have tremendous power
Over all of my friends...
38
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,561
Oh, yeah,
I had a great year.
39
00:01:47,541 --> 00:02:17,068
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions and
The national broadcasting
Company
40
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,140
Oh, you guys having
A new year's bash here?
41
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,575
That's right,
Little buddy.
42
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,210
Need any help
That night?
43
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,678
What, you don't have plans
For new year's?
44
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,647
Oh, yeah!
45
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:31,616
No.
46
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,686
Oh, hey, we need
A party coordinator.
47
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,955
Can you count down
From one to 10?
48
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,490
You mean 10 to one?
49
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,125
Wow! You're going
To be good.
50
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,096
Oh, my god!
51
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,098
Larry!
52
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,368
Mrs. Deguzman!
53
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,337
I haven't seen you guys
Since we graduated
From night school!
54
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:56,341
Look at you, man.
You made it.
55
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,344
I bet if we ever
Have a class reunion,
56
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,846
You'll be psyched.
57
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:05,550
Yeah, mr.
Big shot bartender.
58
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,620
You two having a hard time
Finding work?
59
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,355
Oh, there are
Jobs out there,
60
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,926
But you either
Need experience
Or a college education
61
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:17,929
Or an explanation
For where you've been
For the last 7 years.
62
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,932
Wait a second.
I got an idea.
63
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:24,236
Say, doug!
64
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,239
You know how you've
Been talking about
65
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,008
Hiring on an extra
Couple of people?
66
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,176
No.
67
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,044
Well, your search
Is over!
68
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,546
I found you
The people.
69
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,317
Can you vouch
For them?
70
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,886
Well, I'm
Not the best
Judge of character,
71
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,589
But yes, yes, I can.
72
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,594
Both:
♪ fah who fore-aze ♪
73
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,664
♪ da who dor-aze ♪
74
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,665
♪ welcome, christmas ♪
75
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,166
♪ come this way ♪
76
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,501
Oh, come on!
77
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,504
How can they
Let the grinch
Carve the roast beast
78
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,006
After what he did?
79
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:04,142
I think they feel bad
For him because of
His enlarged heart.
80
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,710
Totally unrealistic.
81
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,681
Hey, you guys! You guys,
Look what don got me!
82
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,915
Wow!
Wow!
83
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,216
You're such a sweetie!
84
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,652
This is the best
Christmas day ever!
85
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,322
I know
What the ladies like.
86
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,424
I thought you were
Going to get her
The earrings.
87
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,693
Earrings?
88
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,861
Tommy: whoops.
89
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,196
There were earrings?
90
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,697
Well, they match
The necklace,
91
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,065
But I thought
Maybe next year.
92
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,368
Wow. Necklace
Andearrings...
93
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,706
That's all you need.
94
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,974
All you need.
95
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,611
Maybe the store's open.
96
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,946
They guy's jewish!
97
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,318
So, dick, you want
Me to reserve you
A table
98
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,820
For the new year's
Bash?
99
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,922
Uh, no. Mary's
Having a fondue party.
100
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,924
What's the big whoop
About new year's anyway?
101
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,526
I don't know.
102
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,227
Mary says it's a good way
To mark her year's
Accomplishments.
103
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,798
Ah. Well, I had
A pretty great year.
104
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,165
I lost my virginity
105
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:05,102
And I completely
Mastered the art
Of manipulating don.
106
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:08,139
Oh, and I got
Some great sweaters.
107
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,077
Nice going.
I graduated
From night school.
108
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,280
I rescued harry
From that freak show.
109
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,481
I still haven't
Thanked you for that.
110
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,883
And I, uh...
111
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,820
Well, there's so many.
Where do I begin?
112
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:23,922
There's, uh...
113
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,424
What?
114
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,925
Well, for one thing,
115
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:32,130
I saved that child
From drowning in her
Above-ground swimming pool.
116
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,431
You didn't save any kid.
117
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,900
We saw that on the news.
118
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:38,737
Oh. Then I guess
I didn't pitch that
No-hitter in cleveland.
119
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,004
No, sir.
Not that I recall.
120
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,239
Well, fine.
121
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,675
I can't be concerned
With trivialities.
122
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,177
My achievements
Are grander,
123
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:48,112
And if, as such,
They are harder to define,
124
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,116
Then they are
All that much
Grander for it!
125
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,390
There.
Now this says fun!
126
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,325
Yep.
Says so right there.
127
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:04,796
I mean, the whole vibe
Of the sign says fun.
128
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,865
Yeah, right there.
129
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,001
Oh, no.
130
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,103
Larry! Deguzman!
131
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:14,606
Could you guys
Come over here
For a second?
132
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,508
You guys, why
Are these drinks
Just sitting here?
133
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,278
I thought those were
For mrs. Deguzman's
Table.
134
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,512
No way!
135
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:23,148
I'm the hostess!
136
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,885
I'm warning you, man.
137
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,755
She's a bitch on wheels.
138
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:33,524
Just, uh, deliver
The drinks, ok?
139
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,861
[humming
12 days of christmas]
140
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,333
♪ da dee dah duh ♪
141
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,601
Sally!
142
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:46,138
Merry christmas,
Part 2.
143
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:47,305
For me?
144
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,774
Oh, you shouldn't have.
145
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,511
Oh, my god! They're perfect!
146
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:57,615
They'll look so great
At the starlight room
On new year's eve.
147
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,050
The starlight room.
148
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,618
Ha ha ha ha!
149
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,186
The starlight room?
150
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,623
Sally, that party
Is for rutherford's
Movers and shakers.
151
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,792
Do you know
How impossible those
Tickets are to get?
152
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,293
All I know
153
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:13,164
Is how powerful
My boyfriend
154
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,732
Don orville is.
155
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:18,469
That may be,
But it's such
Short notice.
156
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:22,040
I'm sure you could pull
A little stringy-wingy.
157
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,878
I'll do my best.
158
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,948
I'm going to go
Put these on.
159
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,794
She plays me like
A big, dumb cello.
160
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,896
What are you looking at?
161
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,298
All right,
So I'm working here.
162
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,733
So quit riding me!
163
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:52,704
Let's not insult
The customers, ok?
164
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,206
I probably should've
Told you, man.
165
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,574
I've got problems
With rage.
166
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:03,715
Wow! This man just gave
$1 billion to the u.N.!
167
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,516
Can you believe that?
168
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:09,453
In february, I took
The whole family
To sizzler.
169
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,624
And for no big reason,
Just to do it.
170
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,626
Can you imagine
Spending 8 months
171
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,395
Building an orphanage
In bosnia?
172
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,863
Big deal.
173
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:23,434
War-torn countries are
Just full of opportunities
For show-offs.
174
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,003
We better be off.
175
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,938
It's time for
The cider festival.
176
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,507
Oh, no.
You go without me.
177
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,142
I've got some important
Things to achieve.
178
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,744
But we were
Going to go.
179
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,178
I'm sorry, mary,
180
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,914
But do bring me back
Some cider,
181
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,149
And don't let it get cold,
'cause then it's just juice.
182
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,486
You pay!
183
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,254
You pay now!
184
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,024
I will not!
185
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,959
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is there a problem
Here, chet?
186
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,028
Hey, friend, you trying
To stiff the lady?
187
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,463
That ain't right.
188
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,897
I'm not
Stiffing her.
189
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,899
I waited for over
A half an hour.
190
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,401
She never brought me
My hot wings.
191
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,969
But I put them
Right over there
On the bar for you!
192
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,137
Oh, those?
193
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:02,039
I ate those.
194
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,974
Very greasy.
195
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,078
I did you
A favor.
196
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,248
Employee meeting,
Employee meeting.
197
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,384
Guys, come on. I went out
On a limb for you.
198
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,886
Don't make me look bad.
199
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,055
Oh, man.
The lecture begins.
200
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,858
Tommy: ok, all right,
So what I'm thinking is
201
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,494
We clear out
These tables here,
202
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:25,196
And we have room
For a conga line!
203
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,765
Oh, my god!
204
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,367
Could I be the person
That yells out conga?
205
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,835
You know,
To get stuff going?
206
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,237
Yeah, ok.
207
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,509
[humming]
208
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:38,810
Sally?
209
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,311
Nothing up my sleeve.
210
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,312
Presto!
211
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,746
2 tickets
To the starlight room!
212
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,849
Oh, don,
That's so cool!
213
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,251
Let's scalp 'em!
214
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,986
What?
215
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,955
Well, I just don't
Want to go anymore.
216
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,991
Tommy's planning
A really fun
217
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,425
New year's eve
Party here.
See? "Fun."
218
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:58,596
Sally, do you know
How hard it was
To get those tickets?
219
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,299
Let's just say
I wasn't shy
With the nightstick.
220
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:08,105
Don, listen,
It doesn't matter
Where we are
221
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,543
As long as it's
Where I want to be.
222
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,147
Right, poopkin?
223
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,317
No.
224
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:25,790
Oh, you big,
Silly man.
225
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,659
No.
226
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:33,998
It's not going
To work this time,
227
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,232
Poopkin.
228
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:38,570
Hey, I'm crying here!
229
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:42,907
That has never
Not worked.
230
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,309
It's not too late.
231
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:49,180
I may have squandered
362 days, but the year
Is not lost!
232
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,182
I can make
A difference!
233
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,616
You, I beg you.
234
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,051
Step forward.
235
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,788
And you, sir. Please,
Do not be afraid.
Come forward!
236
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:01,159
Let all men,
White and black,
Black and white,
237
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,593
Put aside
Their differences
238
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:08,599
And join hands
And walk together down
The streets of rutherford!
239
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,969
Let there be
Peace and harmony
In the valley.
240
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:15,573
For I, dick solomon,
Have made a difference!
241
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,246
Dick?
What?
242
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,849
Jake and henry
Are bowling partners.
243
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,650
They're, like, best friends.
244
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:28,886
Fine.
245
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,188
If they're not willing
246
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,323
To serve as examples
For our children,
247
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,326
Then let it be
On their heads. I tried.
248
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:41,232
I am such a loser.
249
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,202
[doorbell rings]
250
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,471
Vincent, welcome!
251
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,772
I didn't know whether
You had a chance
252
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,407
To stop by
The cider festival.
253
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,508
I did.
254
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,976
Well, you can never
Have too much cider.
255
00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,517
Dick, what's wrong?
256
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,285
I thought you were
Going to help me
Cube the havarti.
257
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,788
I guess you can file that
258
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:06,290
With all the other
Broken dreams
259
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,726
And unfulfilled plans
Of 1998.
260
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,495
What are you
Talking about?
261
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,064
This year
Has been a disaster.
262
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,031
I've accomplished nothing.
Mary, do you hear me?
Nothing!
263
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,099
[doorbell rings]
264
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,601
That's a shame.
265
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,536
Why don't you
Talk football
With strudwick?
266
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:19,704
Judith!
267
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,006
Just back
From the ciderfest.
268
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,408
We've got plenty
Of cider, everyone.
269
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,644
Drink up!
270
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,246
Vincent, have you ever
Really thought about
271
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,814
Where your time goes?
272
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,616
I can't say that
I have, dick, but--
273
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,184
Well, I have.
274
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,687
The last year,
I've spent 4 months
Sleeping,
275
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,689
2 1/2 weeks
Sitting in traffic,
276
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:41,192
2 days flossing,
34 hours watching
The discovery channel.
277
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:46,698
While I have seen
Every type of animal eat
Every other type of animal,
278
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,234
It hardly makes
For a stellar 1998.
279
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,536
I have to go stand
Over there now.
280
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,109
Nina.
281
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,478
Uh, what are you
Doing here, sally?
282
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,812
Oh, nothing.
283
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,748
Just wondering
If you, uh, you know,
Wanted to hang out.
284
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,184
It's new year's eve.
285
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,152
Aren't you going out
With don?
286
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,720
No. I'm mad at him.
287
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:10,822
Why?
288
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,323
Because I was crying.
289
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,624
What? Oh, my god.
290
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:18,830
Yeah. I was only
Doing it to get what
I wanted from him.
291
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:24,035
Uh, sally, do you always cry
To get what you want?
292
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,436
No.
293
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:30,441
Usually all I do,
You know, is push
My boobs out at him.
294
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,443
Or sometimes
I go like this.
295
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,545
Oh, really?
296
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,680
Yeah. I only go
To the crying place
297
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:37,982
If I'm really backed
Into a corner.
298
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,284
And you don't understand
Why he's mad about that?
299
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,220
No. You think
He's crazy?
300
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,487
What's his problem?
301
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,790
It sounds like you're
Just pushing his buttons.
302
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,758
Right. That's exactly
What I'm doing.
303
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,494
But you shouldn't be.
304
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,561
Why?
305
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,063
Why? Because
If you just keep crying
306
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,165
And pouting
To get your own way,
307
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,366
He's going
To take a walk.
308
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,434
Oh, my god!
309
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,438
I don't want don
To take a walk.
310
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,807
Thanks, nina.
311
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,709
You sure know a lot
For a woman who never
Has a boyfriend.
312
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,180
I have a boyfriend.
313
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,382
Then why are you
Sitting home alone
On new year's eve?
314
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,817
I'm not.
I'm going to a party.
315
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:16,587
Sure, you are, nina.
316
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:22,793
Dick, stop throwing
Bread in the pot.
317
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,395
You're wasting it.
318
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,897
Like bread
In the fondue pot,
319
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:30,368
So are the days
Of our lives.
320
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,736
It's new year's eve.
You're bringing us down.
321
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:36,140
Dick, cheer up
Or you'll be whistling
Through your cheek.
322
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,308
But, mary--
323
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:41,145
No "But, marys."
This is a party,
Not a wake,
324
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,379
So act like it.
325
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,881
Oh, all right.
326
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,049
Everybody,
327
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,216
A toast!
328
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,384
A toast!
329
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,921
As the old year
Draws to a close,
330
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:54,758
One can't help
But reflect on what
Hasn't been done
331
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,261
And what can never
Be reclaimed.
332
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,629
Say what you will
About this year,
333
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,231
It is lost,
It is gone,
334
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,732
And as I look
Around me,
335
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,234
I can honestly say
336
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,703
That there is no
Group that I would
Rather be with
337
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,706
To face the grim
Specter of death
338
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:12,777
Racing at blinding
Speed so inexorably
Towards us.
339
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,016
Aw, jeez!
340
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,518
Who wants to go
Bar-hopping?
341
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,753
Great idea!
342
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,521
Let's go.
343
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,855
Dick.
Yes?
344
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:25,990
Lock up
When you leave.
345
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,563
Got any 2s?
346
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:34,865
Damn.
347
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,302
What's going on in here?
348
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,870
It's out of control
Out there.
349
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,739
Everybody expects you
To wait on them
Hand and foot.
350
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,074
You got any 7s?
351
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,508
Oh, I see.
352
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,178
Well, there's
A good reason for that.
353
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,245
It's really very simple.
354
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:52,116
It's your freakin' job!
355
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,252
20 minutes to go
Between now and zero hour.
356
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,521
Nobody goes dry,
You understand?
357
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,955
Is that champagne?
I can't be around
The stuff.
358
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,323
It takes me
To a bad place.
359
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,392
Aah!
360
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,394
Now, you listen to me.
361
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,263
You and you
362
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:08,366
Are going to do exactly
What that man
Tells you to do.
363
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,367
Go!
364
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,301
Go!
365
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,802
Move!
Move!
366
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,250
Sally.
367
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:31,155
Don. I was afraid
I wouldn't see you
Here tonight!
368
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,758
I was afraid
I wouldn't see you,
Either!
369
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,494
Don, I have been
Such a jerk!
370
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,662
No, sally, look,
371
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,097
I'm sorry I had
To read you
The riot act,
372
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,032
But you crossed
Over the line.
373
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,334
No, I know! I know!
374
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,937
Say no more.
375
00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:53,344
Listen, don, I have realized
That I am really, really hot.
376
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,113
What?
377
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,547
I am really, really hot!
378
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:03,054
And that gives me
The power to render men
Defenseless,
379
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,057
But with that power
Comes a certain
Responsibility,
380
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,692
And I know that now.
381
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:11,396
That's good, sally,
Because a man's got
To have his dignity.
382
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:14,966
Of course he does!
383
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:18,236
Well, then
We agree to agree.
384
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,636
Wait, wait, wait.
385
00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:23,307
So what should I do
The next time I want
You to do something
386
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,741
You don't want to do?
387
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,710
How about
We don't do it?
388
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,381
Interesting.
389
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,920
Whoo hoo!
Ring in the new!
390
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,288
Happy new year!
391
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,523
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
392
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,194
Dick, you just going
To sit out here
In the cold?
393
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,595
Yes.
394
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,996
Good. We'll be inside.
395
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:55,038
Just what do you
Hope to accomplish
Sitting out here?
396
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,407
I'm hoping that
I'll freeze solid
397
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,909
And become a monument
398
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:02,412
To all those
Who live lives
Of quiet desperation.
399
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,516
The tomb
Of the unknown loser.
400
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,454
What do you want me
To do,
401
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:14,992
Give up my new year's
And sit here and tell you
How special you are?
402
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,366
All right.
It's 11:58.
Everything's set.
403
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,435
This is going
To be great!
404
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,771
Larry, we're at
T-minus 2 minutes.
405
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,740
Ok? All right!
406
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,408
[whoosh]
407
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,944
[cheering]
408
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,679
♪ should auld acquaintance
Be forgot ♪
409
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,680
♪ and never
Brought to mind... ♪
410
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,351
No! Stop singing!
It's not time!
411
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,220
Sounds nice.
412
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,389
It sure does.
413
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,391
Judith is
A little flat.
414
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,159
Yeah.
415
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,228
Well, that's it.
416
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,063
It's new year's.
417
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,664
It is?
418
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,233
It's 1999.
419
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,836
It's--it's literally
A new year.
420
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:05,242
That's where
The name came from.
421
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,445
Mary, this is wonderful!
422
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:10,314
I feel like a vast
Weight has been lifted.
423
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:15,086
I see this endless horizon
Rich with possibility!
424
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:18,089
I see 15 gallons
Of spoiled cider
425
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:21,159
And a pot
Of congealed fondue.
426
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,727
Oh, god, mary.
I'm so sorry.
427
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,230
I've ruined your party,
Your night.
428
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,665
I've ruined everything.
429
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,466
Can you ever forgive me?
430
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:33,203
I've got a lot of burnt
Cheese to scrape
When I get home.
431
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,205
I'll scrape
Your cheese, mary.
432
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,641
I'll do anything.
433
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:37,808
Please?
434
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,611
As of midnight,
I became a new man.
435
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:44,615
Can't we just shut the door
On last year and look ahead?
436
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,350
I thought you said
437
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,453
New year's was
Just a random spot
In the earth's orbit.
438
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:52,622
That was last year's dick.
He is so over.
439
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:55,525
Please?
440
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,999
Yes!
441
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,634
[singing
And blowing horns]
442
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,236
Stop it!
Stop celebrating!
443
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,305
It's not time!
444
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,373
Happy new year,
Harry!
445
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,143
Happy new year!
446
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:14,211
Happy new year!
447
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,280
You're fired!
448
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,649
[as time goes by plays]
449
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,026
Ohh, this is fantastic.
450
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,663
Just me
And the woman I love
451
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,666
Dancing alone
In the cold, still air
452
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,302
Of a crystalline
Winter's night.
453
00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:40,771
I've been a fool,
And you've forgiven me.
454
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,105
It's a perfect new year.
455
00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:44,174
[bells chiming]
456
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,446
What's that?
457
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,516
It's
The bells at the old church.
458
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,752
Oh, my god, dick
It's new year's now!
459
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,187
So the whole time
We've been out here
Together celebrating...
460
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,489
It was 1998.
461
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:00,891
So I've salvaged
1998!
462
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,427
Mary, that means--
463
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,595
Oh, dick, shh!
464
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,664
This is a beautiful moment.
465
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,432
Don't spoil it.
466
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,702
But it's such--
467
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,270
Shh!
468
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,204
I'm ready to--
469
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,372
Shh!
470
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,675
Happy new year, mary.
471
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,677
Happy new year, dick.
472
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:23,481
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national broadcasting
Company
473
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,550
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
474
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:29,686
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
475
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,397
I've ruined the whole point
Of the party.
476
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:41,431
Aww.
477
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:43,734
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
In 15 seconds
478
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,502
It's new year's in utah!
479
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,071
You get another chance!
480
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:48,239
Yeah!
481
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:49,740
Come on, tommy!
482
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,908
All right!
483
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,811
Countdown 99 is
On the launchpad!
484
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:54,878
10!
485
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,879
All: 9...
486
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:56,881
8...
487
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:05,689
I just get so excited.
35654
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