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1
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,071
Narrator on videotape:
This is pendleton university
2
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,475
Where today's students
Meet tomorrow's challenges.
3
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,609
All right. Now, harry,
Here are the keys.
4
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:13,411
And remember, have them
Fill up the tank,
5
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,913
Check the wiper fluid,
6
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,848
And hang a new pine tree
Air freshener.
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,850
What about
The 3 flat tires?
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,319
If you have time.
9
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,288
Whoa!
10
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,090
You got tv
In your office?
11
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,625
Oh. What are you
Watching, mary?
12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,126
It's a promotional video
13
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:29,962
The university sends out
To prospective students.
14
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,396
They're
Making a new one.
15
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:32,564
Oh, really?
16
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,566
Will they need a professor
To be in it?
17
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,904
Yes. In fact,
They asked me.
18
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,639
Oh. They asked you.
19
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,008
Yes. They said that
They were looking
For professors
20
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,676
Who were charming
And articulate
21
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,345
And embodied
Academic excellence.
22
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:51,483
Well, that certainly
Does describe...You.
23
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,185
Don't feel bad.
24
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:55,687
No, no. I don't.
25
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,689
I'm far too busy
In my role as educator
26
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:02,294
To sully myself
With some pointless
Exercise in narcissism.
27
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,263
Um, just
Out of curiosity,
28
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,463
Who's the director?
29
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,932
One of your students,
Actually.
30
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,099
Aubry pitman.
31
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,268
Pitman!
32
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,970
Oh, he's
My favorite student.
33
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:14,739
Such a wonderful
Young man.
34
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,408
He's the one
With the bandanna?
35
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,575
Yeah, right.
36
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,677
It's official.
37
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,678
I'm gonna kill warren.
38
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,846
Who's warren?
39
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,514
The guy I'm--
was dating.
40
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,982
He was supposed
To drive me to the dentist,
41
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,350
And he backed out.
42
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,418
Why are you going
To the dentist?
43
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,453
I'm having
My wisdom teeth removed.
44
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:29,854
Wouldn't it
Make more sense
45
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,390
To have extra ones
Installed?
46
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,861
Don't mess with me.
Not today.
47
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,730
Nina, I can give you a ride
To the dentist's office.
48
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:39,964
Really?
49
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,333
You drive?
50
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,802
Like a maniac.
51
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,270
Come on.
52
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,577
Hey, guys.
53
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,916
[cartoon playing]
54
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,587
Tommy, do you realize
How rude you're being?
55
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,655
I'm sorry.
I'll turn it down.
56
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,990
Thank you.
57
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,425
No, no.
58
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,060
I should go.
59
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,762
Hey, don, you know what
We should do tonight?
60
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:11,763
Yes.
61
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,099
But what were you
Thinking?
62
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,334
We should go back
To your place
And watch tv.
63
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,504
They're showing
A kidney transplant
On cable.
64
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:21,573
Oh. Sounds like fun,
But I gotta work
Late tonight.
65
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,109
Oh, but I don't get
The surgery channel.
66
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,610
Oh. Well, sally,
67
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,712
There's no reason
You gotta miss it.
68
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,080
Why don't I
Give you my key?
69
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,915
Great. I'll put it
Under your mat
When I'm done.
70
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,417
Say, when you're done,
71
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,686
Why don't you just...
Hang on to it?
72
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,955
Really?
73
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,724
Your key?
74
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:42,227
Oh, don,
It's beautiful.
75
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,995
Oh, look!
It's a schlage!
76
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,963
My favorite.
77
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,104
All righty, nina.
78
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,039
We'll see you
In a few days,
79
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,742
And I'll take out
The other 2 wisdom teeth.
80
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,244
Nina, are you ok?
81
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,914
[muffled, dopey]
Harry.
82
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,249
Oh, you waited
All this time.
83
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,852
That's so sweet.
84
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,521
Oh, my god.
85
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,356
You've been drugged.
86
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:48,026
Is that how you
Get your jollies,
87
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,428
You sick bastard?
88
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:51,530
Harry, no.
89
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,797
I don't
Feel so good.
90
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,132
Can we go home now?
91
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,100
Sure.
Come on, nina.
92
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:59,971
I'll make sure that nobody
Ever hurts you again.
93
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,639
I need to see her
Friday.
94
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:02,941
Until friday.
95
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,482
So the variable "X"
Should equal the cosign
96
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,784
Of the orbital
Trajectory "T,"
97
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,985
Which is what? Anyone?
98
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,120
Pitman, how about you?
99
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,391
The illustrious director
In our midst.
100
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,392
I don't know.
101
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:22,994
Oh, of course you do.
102
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,195
Come on, give it a shot,
103
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,031
mon auteur du cinema.
104
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,734
Well...4.
105
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,669
Yes. "4" is correct.
106
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,770
You are brilliant.
107
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,472
All hail pitman.
108
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,676
Dr. Solomon?
109
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,177
Leon, you're not
Hailing pitman.
110
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,613
Uh, hail pitman.
111
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,048
But isn't "4" wrong?
112
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,451
Oh, what do you know?
113
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,019
Well, when I answered "4,"
114
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,555
You said I was dumber
Than a bucket of hair.
115
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,158
You must be mistaken.
116
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,660
No, he's right.
117
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,095
He said that if the orbital
Trajectory was "4,"
118
00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,931
Then the earth
Would spin out of orbit
119
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,566
And crash into the sun.
120
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,967
And then you told us
121
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,502
To "Shun
The idiot child leon,
122
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,970
"For he
Has killed us all
123
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,705
With his cretinous
Answer of 4."
124
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,909
Fine, fine. Pitman,
Say another number.
125
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:12,944
9?
126
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,112
Correct.
127
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,313
All hail pitman.
128
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,819
Aah!
129
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:22,753
Aah!
130
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,825
Easy there,
Sleepyhead.
131
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,327
This soup is hot,
132
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,996
And, after all
You've been through,
133
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:34,032
The last thing you need
Is a good scalding.
134
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,534
How long have I
Been asleep?
135
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,303
Mm, it's been
About 6 hours.
136
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,672
And you've been
Standing over me
The whole time?
137
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,007
Oh, no. No, every
Couple of minutes,
138
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,509
I had to go
To the microwave
139
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,944
To reheat the soup.
140
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,747
Ooh, wow.
141
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,951
That's the...Strangest,
Nicest thing
142
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,286
Anybody's
Ever done for me.
143
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:55,286
Thank you.
144
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,788
Oh, it's ok.
145
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,222
Oh, by the way,
I hope you don't mind--
146
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,958
But while you were asleep,
147
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,259
The light
Hit you just right,
148
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,094
And I had
To draw a portrait.
149
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,502
I assume
You like roller skating.
150
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,109
Hey, don.
151
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,110
Sally, hi.
152
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:19,844
I'll be right back.
153
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,883
This key is so awesome.
154
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:32,490
So, you really had
A good time here
Last night
155
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,824
Without me.
156
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,226
Did you have
Some friends over?
157
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,427
Uh-uh. Just me.
158
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:41,232
Oh. I watched some fat guy
Getting a pig valve.
159
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,767
Sorry I missed it.
160
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,268
Yeah, me, too.
161
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,671
Hey. Don, how's
A western omelet sound?
162
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,939
Oh, it sounds great.
163
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,107
Terrific.
164
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:52,076
Throw in some bacon
If you got it, all right?
165
00:06:55,215 --> 00:07:00,085
♪ and the rockets'
Red glare ♪
166
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,953
♪ the bombs
Bursting-- ♪
167
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:02,987
Good morning.
168
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,655
Why are you
So cheerful?
169
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,157
I don't know.
170
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,659
I guess it's
'cause of harry.
171
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:09,828
Harry.
172
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,729
Harry solomon?
173
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,932
He's so sweet
And funny.
174
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,468
Oh, now wait a minute.
175
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,568
You're not considering
Getting involved--
176
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,303
Oh, no.
177
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:20,338
You are.
178
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,640
Oh, come on.
179
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,907
Are you...
A little.
180
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,041
No, nina!
181
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,610
Oh, you're one
To talk.
182
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,879
Dr. Solomon is just
As bizarre as harry,
183
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,814
And he's completely
Self-centered.
184
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,683
Oh, don't be absurd.
185
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,719
Behold the glory
That is me.
186
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,323
Oh, go file something.
187
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:40,792
Mary,
You'll never guess.
188
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,494
I've just been chosen
To be your costar
189
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,595
In the promotional
Video.
190
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,266
I thought you said
It was a pointless exercise
In narcissism.
191
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,767
Well, now
It has a point.
192
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,140
Dick: tommy?
193
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,610
Tommy, I need you
To run my lines
With me.
194
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,944
Here, you be mary.
195
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,184
"You will be inspired
By our scenic campus."
196
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,086
Yes, they will, mary.
197
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,355
It's 22 acres
Of paradise.
198
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:12,957
Wait. You're actually
Gonna say that?
199
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:13,958
Well, of course.
Why not?
200
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,459
'cause it's a lie.
201
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,361
It's a 22-acre
Reclaimed uranium mine.
202
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,800
Well, it's
A little radioactive,
203
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,068
But isn't every college?
204
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,970
Look. None
Of this stuff is true.
205
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,239
Oh, what
Do you mean?
206
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:28,239
Look.
207
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,573
"State-of-the-art
Equipment,
208
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,509
"Superior
Student body,
209
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,977
Low suicide rate."
210
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,780
You're right, tommy.
211
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,281
These are
Horrible lies.
212
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,449
What am I
Going to do?
213
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,351
Well, if you want
To keep your integrity,
214
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,753
You're going to
Have to quit the film.
215
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,856
These are horrible lies.
216
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,491
What am I going to do?
217
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,193
♪ hit me with
Your best shot ♪
218
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,131
♪ and fire away ♪
219
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,299
Sally.
220
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,433
Hi, don.
221
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,035
♪ hit me with
Your best shot ♪
222
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,704
Sally. Sally. Sally!
223
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:03,107
I worked the graveyard
Last night.
224
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,943
I didn't hear you
Come in this morning.
225
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,613
Glad to see that
You're making yourself
Right at home.
226
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,148
Oh, this is
Better than home.
227
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,516
Nobody tells me
What to do.
228
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,551
Nobody complains.
229
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,087
Not yet, no.
230
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,602
Harry, let me
Ask you something.
231
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,771
Are you seeing anyone?
232
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,108
No. I'm completely
Unattached.
233
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,743
Totally available.
234
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,213
I'm ready, willing,
And waiting.
235
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,749
'cause, you know, I'm
Not seeing anyone, either.
236
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,184
Oh, really?
237
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,622
And since we both
Like each other
238
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,189
And we're both
Not seeing anyone...
239
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:53,357
Mm-hmm?
240
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,226
Do you see where I'm
Going with this, harry?
241
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,494
Yes.
242
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,663
You're saying that
We'll always be friends
243
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,199
And nothing more.
244
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,502
Yeah, yeah.
245
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,970
That's what I'm saying.
246
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:06,938
Yeah.
247
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,741
Well, to hell
With friendship.
248
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,743
I want you, woman.
249
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,247
Oh, harry.
250
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,650
Oh, nina.
251
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,091
Um, uh...
252
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,592
Nina, I'm ready for you.
253
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,427
Oh. I have to go, harry,
254
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,330
But I'll be right back.
255
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,032
I'll be
Right here, nina.
256
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,034
No matter
What happens,
257
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,335
I will be
Right here.
258
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,769
No matter what occurs,
259
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:40,538
No matter
How long it takes,
260
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,039
I'll be here.
261
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,841
On that you can rely.
262
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,115
Well, I'm sorry,
263
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,417
But a promise
Is a promise.
264
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,194
Hey, don.
265
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,295
Tommy.
266
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,999
Hey, uh,
What are you doing?
267
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,468
Just standing.
268
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,336
Can I ask you
A question?
269
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,371
Sure.
270
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,672
Why?
271
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,974
I got nowhere else
To go.
272
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,209
Since I gave my key
To sally,
273
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,011
She's taken over
My apartment.
274
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,612
You just gotta
Talk to her, don.
275
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,347
Yeah, but...
276
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,348
Hey, guys.
277
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,983
Sally. What are you
Doing here?
278
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,052
Uh, you ran out
Of toilet paper.
279
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,688
Oh. Now--
Now listen, sally,
280
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,358
I'm having some guys
Over tonight to, uh...
281
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,226
Watch some fights
On pay-per-view.
282
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,394
Cool. Party.
283
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,563
Well, it's sort of a...
A guys' night.
284
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,764
You know what I mean?
285
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,132
Yeah. It's a party.
286
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:44,235
But...With the guys.
287
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,736
I got it.
288
00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:46,837
With the guys.
289
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,106
It's no problem.
290
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,607
All right. Ok.
291
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,143
Well, I gotta go.
See you later.
292
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,845
Hey, sally.
Yeah?
293
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,481
You wanna go see a movie
Or something later?
294
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,982
Oh, no, I can't.
295
00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,652
I'm watching the fight
With the guys tonight.
296
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,353
Ok. Now just
Follow along
297
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,088
And see
If I have it.
298
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,523
Can do.
299
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,025
[tony british accent]
Hello.
300
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,526
I'm dr. Mary albright.
301
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,862
I'm proud
To be a member--
302
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:11,929
Ok.
303
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:13,331
What's
With the accent?
304
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,499
What accent?
305
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:17,168
This is my formal
Speaking voice.
306
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,969
Always has been.
307
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,305
Never mind.
308
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,742
Uh, pitman, we need
To have a little chat.
309
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,011
Dr. Solomon has some
Problems with the script.
310
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,519
What do you mean?
311
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,788
It's just a few little
Minor word changes really.
312
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,223
Like, uh, here where
It says "Scenic,"
313
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,224
He'd rather say
"Attractive."
314
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,993
And instead of
"Rigorous,"
315
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,628
He'd prefer
"Challenging."
316
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,296
And right here
Where it says,
317
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,564
"The student body
Is superior,"
318
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:47,998
He would prefer
"Inferior."
319
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,336
Can we rehearse this once
Just the way it's written
320
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,938
So we can hear
How it sounds?
321
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,572
All right.
322
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,315
Ok.
323
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,784
And...Action.
324
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,819
Hello.
325
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,321
I'm dr. Mary albright,
326
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,257
And I'm proud
To be a member--
327
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,825
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
328
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,293
What's with the accent?
329
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,895
Why does everybody
Keep asking me that?
330
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,365
The lady albright
Hath no accent.
331
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:25,236
Fine. Dr. Solomon,
From your line.
332
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,977
"Hello. I'm
Dr. Dick solomon,
333
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,979
"And I think
You'll find
334
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,648
The tradition
Of excellence
Here at pendleton--"
335
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,019
You know, what's
Tripping me up
336
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,319
Is the word
"Excellence."
337
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,321
If I could just say,
338
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,623
"Tradition of adequacy."
339
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,124
You know what?
340
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,693
I don't care.
341
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,360
You can rewrite
Whatever you want,
342
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,530
As long as it makes
Pendleton sound good.
343
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,998
But what's my motivation?
344
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,133
Maybe we want people
To come here?
345
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:58,402
Oh. Oh, well,
Ok then.
346
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,443
[exhales]
347
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,221
Hey, mom, look,
348
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,756
He took my tooth out.
349
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,458
That's nice, honey.
350
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,693
Hey, mister,
Look what I got.
351
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,561
Oh, thanks, kid.
352
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,201
You just ate my tooth.
353
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,873
Well, there's no
Graceful way out
Of this one.
354
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,041
Oh, man.
355
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,644
Now I won't get a visit
From the tooth fairy.
356
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,744
The tooth fairy?
357
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,548
You know. You put your tooth
Under your pillow,
358
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,050
And then the tooth fairy
Gives you 5 bucks.
359
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,419
Wow. Are you sure?
360
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,990
Yes, and the tooth fairy
Will visit ronnie tonight.
361
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,794
Are you
Coming on to me?
362
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,432
Ok. Places, people,
363
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,701
And...Action.
364
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,838
Hello.
365
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,974
I'm dr. Mary albright,
366
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,643
And I'm proud
To be a member
367
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,444
Of the pendleton faculty.
368
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,946
Well said, mary.
369
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,447
I'm proud, too.
370
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,849
I'm dr. Dick solomon,
371
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,585
Professor of physics
Here at pendleton.
372
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:25,289
We're here to talk
About our fine university.
373
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:28,559
And a fine university
It is, mary.
374
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,727
It's fine.
375
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,229
It's not great,
376
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,597
But it's not the worst.
377
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:37,735
At pendleton,
Our students come first.
378
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:41,105
Our priority
Is to get you out
Of your parents' home
379
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,608
And into a classroomlike
Environment.
380
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,978
As are easy to come by
Here at pendleton,
381
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,447
As is delicious
Thin-crust pizza.
382
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:55,019
Our lab facilities
Are state-of-the-art.
383
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,154
Or at least they
Used to be, mary.
384
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,390
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
385
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,325
But let's
Be realistic.
386
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,729
If you got into
A quality school,
387
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,498
You would only
Feel stupid there.
388
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,069
But you can be a genius
Here at pendleton--
389
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,472
The harvard
Of mediocrity.
390
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:19,143
Not affiliated with
Harvard university.
391
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,852
Dudes!
392
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,353
Sally?
393
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,688
I thought
You weren't
Coming tonight.
394
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,356
Why would I miss
Guys night?
395
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:33,491
[belches]
396
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,492
The fight's
Started.
397
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,760
All right.
Just a minute.
398
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,862
The whole point
Of guys' night
Was that we have--
399
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,130
[ringside bell,
Thud]
400
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,131
Ooh!
Ooh!
401
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,366
What?
What did I miss?
402
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:43,634
The fight.
403
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,735
It's over.
404
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,305
Sally, you made me
Miss the fight.
405
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:49,774
Well, I didn't mean to.
406
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,108
[ringside bell, thud]
407
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,411
Oh! Damn!
408
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,879
You made me miss
The instant replay.
409
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,380
Well, I missed it, too.
410
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,082
You're the one
Who keeps talking.
411
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:01,652
Far be it from me
To talk in my house.
412
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,354
All right.
Give me the key.
413
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,955
Well, how
Would I get in?
414
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,156
You wouldn't.
415
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,591
Look, when I
Gave you the key,
416
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,093
It was in hopes
That we would spend
Quality time together.
417
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,562
But there hasn't
Been any quality.
418
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,730
There's just
Been quantity.
419
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,331
You're here
All the time.
420
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,201
You're leaving messes.
You're shaving yourself
In weird areas.
421
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,502
Ooh.
Ooh.
422
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,003
Of the house.
423
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,238
Will you guys
Get out?
424
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,443
So much for
Guys' night, huh?
425
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,378
Yeah. They always
End like this.
426
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,113
One time, I forgot
To use a coaster.
427
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,648
One time, I left
The toilet seat up.
428
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:31,615
Will you get out?!
429
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,587
What's going on
With you, don?
430
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,922
I'll tell you
What's going on.
431
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,957
You're turning donville
Into sallyburg,
432
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,259
And I don't like it.
433
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,127
I'm fed up with it,
Sally.
434
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:46,997
Gosh. You never
Yelled at me before.
435
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,033
I guess I screwed up.
436
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,305
Starting to think
That you like
My apartment
437
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,840
More than
You like me.
438
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,341
Wait just a second.
439
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,911
That is not even
A little true,
440
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,512
And you know that,
Pumpkin.
441
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,449
Are you sure?
442
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,151
Of course I'm sure.
443
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,454
Am I still your lady?
444
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,590
You know it, baby.
445
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,592
Can I still come over
446
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,328
And we can hang out
Together?
447
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,529
Sure.
448
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,299
Can I have
The key back?
449
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,267
No.
450
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,337
Wow.
451
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,306
Your bedroom's
So much bigger
Than mine.
452
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:32,076
Ooh. And a bed.
Nice touch.
453
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,745
Oh, harry,
You're so funny.
454
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,547
Ha ha ha ha ha.
455
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,621
I'm gonna go
Pour us some wine.
456
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,989
I'll be right here.
457
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,528
Ok. She lost
The 4 teeth,
458
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:54,565
So that's...20 bucks.
459
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,337
You know, harry...
460
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,008
I have been looking
All over
461
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,643
For the right guy,
462
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,811
And all along
He's been right here
463
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,346
In my own backyard.
464
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:12,349
I once found
A perfectly good comb
465
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,851
In my backyard.
466
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,619
Oh, harry.
467
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:16,620
Oh, nina.
468
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,656
Oh, baby!
Rrrrr!
469
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,629
Wait. What's this?
470
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,499
Oh. You weren't
Supposed to find that
471
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,301
Till tomorrow morning.
472
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,071
You left me 20 bucks?
473
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,707
Well, yeah. That's
The going rate,
Isn't it?
474
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,643
Going rate?!
475
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,745
Well, yeah.
5 bucks a pop.
476
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,481
That seems pretty
Reasonable to me.
477
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,851
You need to get
Your bony butt
Out of my bedroom.
478
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,353
Well, I thought we
Were gonna have sex.
479
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,554
Get out!
480
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:51,655
Well, but I thought--
481
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:52,856
Get out!
482
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,358
You know what?
483
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,460
Maybe the men
You've been dating
Aren't the problem.
484
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,961
No. Maybe the problem
485
00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,796
Is that you're just
A little too moody.
486
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,747
It's more than
A good school.
487
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,050
I love this place.
488
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:25,789
And it's not
So much a faculty
489
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,359
As a family.
490
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,926
Here we come.
491
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:34,064
I'm professor
Mary albright,
492
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,433
And I'm proud
To be a member
493
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:37,834
Of the pendleton
Faculty.
494
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,404
I'm dr. Dick solomon,
495
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,705
Professor of physics--
496
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:44,841
I'm dr. Judith draper,
497
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,344
And I think I speak
For my colleagues
498
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,079
When I say I'm proud...
499
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,314
Those are my lines.
500
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,283
They cut us out!
501
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,317
Judith!
502
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:57,621
That back-stabbing,
Scene-stealing bitch!
503
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,423
Well, I can understand
Why they cut you out.
504
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,857
You were sabotaging
The whole production.
505
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:01,959
But me?
506
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,160
Oh, yes. How dare
They cut out
507
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,062
The bloody queen
Of england?
508
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,931
Shh! Do you mind?
509
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,867
Our scenic campus
510
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:12,736
Is 22 acres of paradise.
511
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,139
Wow, dr. Draper.
512
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,308
Pendleton sounds
Like the best.
513
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,644
I'm sending in
My application
Right away.
514
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,380
Smart move, brandon.
515
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,222
Well, the--
The director decided
516
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:37,060
To go a different way
With it.
517
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,996
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
518
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:46,971
Oh, harry, I'm sorry things
With nina didn't work out.
519
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,772
Relationships are hard.
520
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:52,142
Well, maybe things
Didn't work out with nina,
521
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,144
But at least
I'll always have
522
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,146
A little part of her
With me.
523
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,681
[rattles]
524
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,819
You have
Her teeth in a jar?
525
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,921
That's so romantic.
526
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,990
I wonder if don's home.
36625
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