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1
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:07,872
Good morning, dick.
2
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,675
Oh. Hello, mary.
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,009
Ahh.
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,177
Young love.
5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:15,180
Yes. I didn't mean
To stare at them, but...
6
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,182
They're really
Going at it.
7
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,017
They really are.
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,020
Hey! That fat guy's
Blocking our view!
9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,855
Hey, chubby,
Keep it moving!
10
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,857
Ohh!
11
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,358
You scared them off.
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,392
Ohh...
13
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,062
I guess this is what
My life has become...
14
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,529
Living vicariously
15
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,665
Through the gritty
Romance of others.
16
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,835
the gates of windemere?
17
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,338
Yeah. Sasha reese
Is torn between
Two lovers,
18
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:43,075
And every step she takes
Is a guilty
Yet sensuous delight.
19
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,076
That's junk.
20
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,310
How can you say that?
21
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:48,313
I'm telling you,
I read it. It's junk.
22
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:49,681
Ooh.
23
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,517
I saw the most romantic
Movie last night.
24
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:53,718
man, woman, bed, cake.
25
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,923
It's a german art film.
Very riveting.
26
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,926
Once you figure out
Which character's male
27
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,828
And which character's
Female.
28
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,978
Hey. What are you doing?
29
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,647
Oh, I'm off to see
A movie at cine rutherford,
30
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,484
And I refuse to pay
Those outrageous
Concession stand prices.
31
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,252
Where'd you get
Those?
32
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,688
I bought them last time
I was at the movies.
33
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:31,856
Wait. You're going
To the movies?
34
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,025
You're not taking
The car, are you?
35
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,526
No, sally,
I'm going to walk
36
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,027
the 3 blocks!
37
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,529
Of course I'm taking
The car.
38
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,331
I'm buying groceries.
I need the car.
39
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,732
Well, you can have
Your fun later.
40
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,368
I'm so sick of this.
You have to get me
My own car.
41
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,270
Yeah, dick. Most families
Do have 2 cars.
42
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:48,006
Most families have a couch.
Most families have a mother.
43
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,508
Most families are related.
44
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,511
If that's what you want,
Go move in with most families.
45
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:55,080
Whoo!
46
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,349
Well, not that
I'm thinking about it,
47
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,517
But where exactly
Do most families live?
48
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:00,952
Wait, dick.
I need wheels.
49
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,521
Fine. Buy a car.
50
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,522
Yes!
51
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,656
A used one.
52
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,658
And be sure to listen
To the car salesman.
53
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,661
He's your friend,
And he's there to help.
54
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,902
Well, aside from
The overpowering stench
Of cat musk,
55
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,371
This one's a cream puff.
56
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,073
This one's pretty cool, too.
57
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,741
Except for that spot
On the seat.
58
00:02:56,743 --> 00:03:00,178
It's blood.
I'm getting out.
59
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,180
Boys, the search is over.
60
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,448
This...
61
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:07,452
Is the most sensible car
I have ever seen.
62
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,954
This car...
63
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,956
Makes me feel like
Something
64
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,958
That's always been missing
In my life
65
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,427
Can be solved
With this long,
Beautiful machine.
66
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,798
It's kind of shaped
Like a banana.
67
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,242
Hi.
68
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,443
Hello.
69
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,481
You know,
I've been waiting
To see this movie
70
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:37,482
For months.
71
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,984
Oh, really?
I just got here.
72
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,491
Are you, uh...
73
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,893
German?
74
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,561
No.
75
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,330
Are you trying
To make conversation?
76
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,664
No.
77
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:55,933
Yes.
78
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,435
Oh...I love that.
79
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,436
I'm anita.
80
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,937
I'm dick.
81
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,939
So since
We're both alone,
82
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,641
Would you like
To sit together?
83
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,877
Sit with you,
Together, us?
84
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,678
Yeah.
85
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,679
Well, sure.
86
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,951
Oh, uh, f.Y.I.--
87
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,619
Raisinets on the right,
88
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,587
Jujubes on the left.
89
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,123
Reach in...
90
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,532
Oh...
91
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,369
That was wonderful.
92
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,371
I just loved the ending.
93
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,774
I just loved
When you frenched me.
94
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,082
Where's your car?
95
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,817
Apparently
It's parked in heaven.
96
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,929
Must have viper.
97
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,764
Lieutenant,
This is a mistake.
98
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,365
We just need transportation.
99
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,367
We're not entering
The daytona 500.
100
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,369
It was amazing.
101
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,371
The power, the thrust!
102
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,073
You should've driven it.
103
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:13,077
I tried to drive it
And you bit my hand.
104
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:15,079
All right, sally,
Let's see what we can do
105
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,814
To put you into
That beautiful automobile--
106
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,583
Today.
107
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,585
We'll think about it
And come back.
108
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,787
He's just a child.
Don't pay any
Attention to him.
109
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,156
It's ok.
I was a kid.
110
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,656
Once.
111
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,758
Tell me, sport,
Do you like girls?
112
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,628
Yeah, I do. Sorry.
113
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,467
All right.
So, bill, could I
Have the keys now?
114
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,337
Sure. But first
We're going to need
1/3 down.
115
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,839
On a $60,000 car,
116
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,206
That's 20,000.
117
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,208
Ok, no problem.
I'm writing a check.
118
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,210
Now you're thinking
Like a businesswoman.
119
00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:49,113
Nothing like a check
To show the manager
You're serious.
120
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,748
Like a heart attack,
Bill.
121
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,916
Ouch.
122
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,684
I'll be right back.
123
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,686
Have you gone insane?
124
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,556
We don't have $20,000.
125
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,057
Whoa. I have an idea.
126
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,559
We can hold a raffle.
127
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,661
That's great.
What would we raffle?
128
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:04,796
The viper!
129
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,398
Sally, that check
Is gonna bounce
130
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,899
And they're gonna
Come after us.
131
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:12,003
Yes, but they'll never
Catch us in the viper!
132
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,438
Ok.
133
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,440
We ran your credit report.
134
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,808
They say you don't exist.
135
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,611
Oh, that's weird.
So can I take
The car now?
136
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,346
No. My manager
Also told me
137
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:25,449
You only have $1,300
In the bank.
138
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:28,419
Well, that is just not true.
Who did he get that from?
139
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:29,453
The bank.
140
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:30,454
All right, bill,
141
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,922
What do I have to do
To get this car?
142
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,424
Well, that's simple.
143
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,826
Less money up front
And a series of
Pickup payments,
144
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,228
Finance the back end
Against the deficit
Down lease.
145
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,763
We'll launch
Fiscal payoff
146
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,565
Or simply spread the down
Across the term
And use asset collateral.
147
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,669
Bill, what do I
Have to do
To get this car?
148
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,441
[sighs]
149
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,942
Oh, that was...
150
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,179
Oh, I know.
Just wonderful.
151
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,380
Thank you
For a good time.
152
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:59,851
Oh. Thank you
For not listening to me
When I said no.
153
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,821
You're a great guy.
154
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,823
Oh...You're terrific, too.
155
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,792
That's why this
Is going to be
So hard to say,
156
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,427
But, anita...
157
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,430
I don't think
I can marry you.
158
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,664
You can't?
159
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,166
No. Although I know
It would be
160
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,434
The gentlemanly thing to do.
161
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,702
I--I'm just not ready.
162
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,737
Oh, dick.
163
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,205
I just got through
A really messy divorce,
164
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,707
And I don't want
To get married.
165
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,709
I don't even want
A relationship.
166
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,945
So...
167
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,513
This is pretty much it.
168
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,515
Oh. What are you saying?
169
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:34,385
This is pretty much it.
170
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,886
Really?
171
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,322
Well, you know--
I--I hope that
You're ok with this.
172
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:39,925
Ok?
173
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,927
I'm jim dandy!
174
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:45,530
I had no idea
This sort of random
Coupling existed.
175
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,532
Outside the animal kingdom.
176
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,534
Tell me, are there
A lot of women
177
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,469
Who feel the way you do,
178
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,472
And do you happen to have
Their phone numbers?
179
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,475
Now add the 5
And carry the 2.
180
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,977
Got it.
181
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,479
All right, harry,
I think I've finally
Worked it out.
182
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,981
If we give bill
Our $1,300 down
183
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,916
And get a payment
Of $70 a month...
184
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,117
Which
We can afford.
185
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,118
Right.
186
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,420
The car would be paid off
187
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,122
In 2073.
188
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,293
It'll be an antique
By then.
189
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,296
We could make money
On this car.
190
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,731
Let's go find
Dick's checkbook.
Come on.
191
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,800
So you guys
Are getting a new car?
192
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:23,868
Yeah. A viper.
193
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:24,869
A viper?
194
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,937
What a ridiculous
Waste of money.
195
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:29,006
Don't tell me.
Tell sally.
196
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,508
Good. I thought
You wanted it.
197
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,511
You know, to impress
All those vapid bimbos
At school.
198
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,212
No. No.
199
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,214
You mean like, uh...
200
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:38,816
Tina emory?
201
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:39,951
Exactly.
202
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,253
Did you see
What she had on today?
203
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,222
Oh, god!
With the--ugh!
204
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:51,296
Uh...Would you
Just excuse me
For just a second?
205
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,699
Sally, we have got to
Get that viper!
206
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,768
Hello, family!
207
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,270
You'll never guess.
208
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,505
I had sex again.
209
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,311
Oh, no.
210
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,646
If you and albright
Are back together,
211
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,181
I'm just gonna
Frag us all.
212
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,416
No.
213
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,918
No, it wasn't mary.
214
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,419
It was anita palone.
215
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,321
A fabulous divorcee
I met at the movies.
216
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,424
Oh, a little casual sex.
217
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:20,926
Casual sex?
218
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,929
Yeah, you know.
A passionate tryst
With a stranger.
219
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,864
Yes! Yes, that's
Exactly what I had.
Casual sex.
220
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:30,101
Wham bam,
Thank you, deliveryman.
221
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,670
Nothing could be sweeter
222
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,773
Than aniter
In the theater.
223
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:36,975
Wow.
224
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,075
Sally:
Wait, wait, wait.
225
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,744
Dick. So you just
Met her, and then...
226
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,112
Did you, uh,
Did you use...
227
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,448
Oh, yeah, yeah.
228
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,382
A 3-pack.
229
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,953
Ribbed for her pleasure.
230
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:51,356
I turned them
Inside out.
231
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,926
Oh, god,
You are so selfish.
232
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,231
Thursday's good?
233
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,766
Yeah.
Thursday's good.
234
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,569
What's that for?
235
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:06,570
For you.
236
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:07,571
For what?
237
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:08,973
For recommending
238
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,474
man, woman, bed, cake.
239
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,476
Oh, I take it
You liked it.
240
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,478
Oh, no.
It was god-awful.
241
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,448
But I met
A woman in line.
A fabulous woman.
242
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,650
Ohh!
243
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,284
Well, that's nice, dick.
244
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,319
Oh, I'll say.
We had sex in my car.
245
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,555
You did what?!
246
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,557
I can't believe it either,
247
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,158
But it was great.
248
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,527
Why are you telling me this?
249
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,029
Oh, it wasn't a big deal.
250
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,530
It was casual sex.
251
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:34,965
That's the great thing.
252
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,634
Oh, yes.
253
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,102
Congratulations.
254
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,603
Yeah. You know,
It all started
255
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,105
With these raisinets.
256
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,606
I had them
In my pocket--
257
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,607
[bell rings]
258
00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,109
Oh, damn!
I have a class.
259
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,111
I'll tell you what.
We'll have lunch,
260
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:50,081
And I'll fill you guys in
On all the sexy details, ok?
261
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:55,819
And that, of course,
Led to the big bang.
262
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:59,323
And you just
Met in line
At the theater?
263
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,324
You rule!
264
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,725
It's pretty amazing.
265
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:02,961
Dr. Solomon, um,
266
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,963
I'm a little uncomfortable
With this dialogue.
267
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,196
Oh, no, don't be.
268
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,698
Just in wrapping up
This section,
269
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,967
I'd like to say
That after such
A wonderful night,
270
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:13,004
For as long as I live,
I'll never forget anita.
271
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,039
Anita!
272
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,472
Anita palone.
273
00:11:15,474 --> 00:11:18,009
Anita palone?
That's my mom's name.
274
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,680
This woman said
That she was
From pittsburgh.
275
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,682
My mom lives in pittsburgh,
276
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,951
And...She was visiting me
This weekend.
277
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:30,354
Well,
Then it must be her!
278
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,856
My god, bug!
279
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,859
How could you have been
In my class for 3 years
280
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,495
And never mentioned
How incredibly hot
Your mom was?!
281
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,633
Talk about coincidence!
282
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,906
Hi, mary.
283
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:49,941
Nina.
284
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,309
Hello,
Mr. Goodbar.
285
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,179
[sing-song]
I have news.
286
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,847
You nailed
The scrubwoman
In the broom closet.
287
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,451
No.
288
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:00,952
No. You remember
My telling you
289
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,253
About my one-night stand?
290
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,290
Rings a bell.
291
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,892
Turns out
She's bug's mother.
292
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,494
How did you find that out?
293
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,497
Oh, I was rhapsodizing
About it in class.
294
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,033
Once I told him her name,
Bug guessed.
295
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,903
You don't care
Whose feelings you hurt.
296
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,171
Like who?
297
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,339
Bug, for instance?
298
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,408
I didn't realize.
299
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,043
Of course
You didn't.
300
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,511
Well, why are you
So angry?
301
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,512
I'm not.
302
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,013
As a matter of fact,
303
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,415
I could care less
What you do,
304
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,017
You huge ass!
305
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,520
You know,
If I were the dean,
306
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:38,022
I'd slap you
In the face.
307
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,925
Hey!
308
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,293
You're not the dean!
309
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,363
What was that for?
310
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,598
You know, there are
Two kinds of people
In this world.
311
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,567
Those who want loving,
Monogamous relationships
312
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,337
And those who
Hop from bed to bed
Having meaningless sex!
313
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,974
Yes. I was the former,
Now I'm the latter.
What's the big deal?
314
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,476
You know,
If I were dr. Albright,
315
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,178
I'd slap you
In the face.
316
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:03,147
Hey!
317
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,182
You're not dr. Albright!
318
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,521
And the viper...
319
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,025
Has 420 horsepower.
320
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,427
Wow. Sounds like a lot.
321
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,728
Oh, it's plenty.
322
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:20,564
Oh.
323
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,566
Tina emory.
What a surprise.
324
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,436
Gee, tommy,
I had no idea
You were so popular.
325
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,570
Well...
326
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:27,671
Now you know.
327
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,676
And you're such
Good friends with tina.
328
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,178
Yes, I am.
329
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,714
We met at school
When he told me
He was getting a viper.
330
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,883
Where is the viper,
Anyway?
331
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,184
Oh, it's coming.
332
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,553
When is it coming?
333
00:13:41,555 --> 00:13:45,356
'cause I hate to
Have to keep
Riding to school
334
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,891
In doug toffler's
Trans am.
335
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,961
Well, that won't be
Necessary at all.
336
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,463
Uh...I'll--
I'll be right back.
337
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,765
I'll be...Right back.
338
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,667
Dick, I'm in
Very big trouble.
339
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,968
We need that viper now!
340
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,369
What's the emergency?
341
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,737
My love life
Depends on it.
342
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,872
Ahh!
343
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,874
Looking for a little
Casual sex, eh?
344
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,877
I would be happy
To get to casual
First base
345
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:06,878
With this one.
346
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,112
Don't sweat it, tommy.
347
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,614
You'll get there.
348
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,617
Of course,
You might get slapped
A couple of times
349
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,018
In the process.
350
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,553
But you will have a ball.
351
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,121
Cool.
352
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,156
True, there's a chance
That you'll lose
A little self-respect,
353
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:20,658
But it's a lot of fun.
354
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,960
Sounds good.
355
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,962
That is,
If you don't compare
356
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,898
Those few seedy moments
With a relationship
That once meant...
357
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,868
Everything to you.
358
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,203
Ok.
359
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,706
So if that sounds good...
360
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,075
Go for it.
361
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,410
[sobbing]
362
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,482
Come on in, folks.
Please.
363
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,617
I have some news.
364
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,153
We, uh, ahem...
365
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:50,588
We got the deal!
366
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,590
For 1,300 down
And $70 a month?
367
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,591
Exactly.
368
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,426
Yes!
369
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,929
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
370
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,864
You got
The numbers right, but
You misspelled viper.
371
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:02,599
It's spelled "Pinto."
372
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:03,667
Ooh!
373
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:04,668
Pinto.
374
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,869
Pinto.
Pinto.
Pinto.
375
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,071
Pinto.
Pinto.
Pinto.
376
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,539
Is that like
A souped up viper?
377
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,540
Actually, no.
378
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,476
It's that brown one
Right out there.
379
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,877
Pinto.
380
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,814
That?
381
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,015
Oh.
382
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,851
But I thought
That's what
You fed the viper.
383
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,886
"Fed the viper."
No, sally.
384
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:22,953
Please.
385
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,390
I want to make
Your dream
Of having a car
386
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,524
Come true,
387
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,026
And after reviewing
Your financial
Situation,
388
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,529
I've chosen
A ford pinto for you
389
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,030
And your driving needs.
390
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,033
That's what I do, sally.
I'm a professional.
391
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,035
I don't want
A pinto.
392
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,603
I don't
Want one.
393
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,104
I hear you, sally.
I do.
394
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,906
Tell you what.
Let me check inventory.
395
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:45,410
Say. There's
A '75 nova out back
396
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,413
That I was saving
For a friend.
397
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,414
Hey.
398
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,015
[clicks tongue]
Yeah.
399
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,017
Ok. Ok, we can't panic.
400
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,520
We cannot let that viper
Slip away.
401
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,354
This guy has to have
A weakness. I mean...
402
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,790
What?
I've got it!
403
00:15:58,792 --> 00:15:59,891
We can't win.
404
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,459
What?
405
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,461
We can't win.
406
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,964
This is no ordinary guy.
407
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,633
He's a soul sucker.
408
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,134
Dear god.
409
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,368
You're right.
410
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,370
We've encountered
His kind before.
411
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,039
He's an evil
Force of nature.
412
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,540
A black hole.
413
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,042
He feeds on our desperation.
414
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,044
Tom, what are you saying?
415
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,546
It just makes him
Stronger.
416
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,048
There's only one thing
We can do, lieutenant.
417
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,883
We've got to walk away.
418
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:26,985
No, no, no, no!
419
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,486
I hate walking!
420
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,320
We've got to!
421
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,923
Well...
422
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,426
I made a friend cry.
423
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,829
But the nova's yours,
Sally.
424
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,596
Sally?
425
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,037
No.
426
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,705
Yes! You can
Drive her home today.
427
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,310
No.
428
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,845
Huh?
429
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,679
I said no.
430
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,181
Come on, sally,
431
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,716
I am ready
To make this deal.
432
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,817
Ha ha ha ha!
433
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,786
No!
434
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,287
I'll throw in
Floor mats,
Fabric guard,
435
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,322
And undercoating.
436
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,823
Ok, boys, step aside.
437
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,292
You have taken
The joyful experience
Of buying a car
438
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,927
And turned it into
Something ugly!
439
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,934
You know what you are,
Buddy?
440
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,236
A car salesman.
441
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,738
Yeah, that's right.
442
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,174
A big steaming pile
Of car salesman!
443
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,177
Well, you just
Lost yourself a sale!
444
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:29,012
Come on, boys!
445
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,952
Ok. I don't have a car,
446
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,388
But I'm interested
In your undercoating.
447
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,864
Mary, I just
Wanted you to know
448
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,866
I've made it up
To bug.
449
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,868
I have him an "A"
On his test.
450
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,369
You faked his grade?
451
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,871
Yes.
I made things right.
452
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,572
Oh, dick,
You can't do that.
453
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:56,574
Why not?
454
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,176
Well--you just can't.
455
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,345
What do you want from me?!
456
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,347
I want you to think,
Dick.
457
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:07,351
I want you to think about
How your actions
Affect other people.
458
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,854
What about
The other students
In your class,
459
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,355
The ones you've hurt?
460
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,392
Sure, they act like
They're not vulnerable,
But they are.
461
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:17,628
I've never seen you
This concerned about
Other people before.
462
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,896
Is this about you?
463
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,567
Yes, it's about me.
464
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,569
But, mary,
We're broken up.
465
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,537
We have been
For months.
466
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,040
I know, but...
There's still some
Stupid part of me
467
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,141
That thought we might
Get back together.
468
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,077
I have that
Stupid part, too!
469
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,546
Forget it.
We're not getting back
Together.
470
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,547
Why not?
471
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,048
'cause you ruined it.
472
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,551
I thought I'd already
Ruined everything
473
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,985
I could possibly ruin!
474
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:43,954
Well, you missed a spot.
475
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,825
Oh, what was I thinking?
476
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,327
Anita was a mistake.
477
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,829
It was fun for a while,
478
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,332
But then it was so...
Empty.
479
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,734
Not like with you.
480
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,236
I'm sorry.
481
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,505
Hugs?
482
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,412
Ok, but don't grind me.
483
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:12,717
Dr. Sol--
484
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:16,320
Wow. You'll nail anything
That moves.
485
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,822
Come here.
486
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,757
Please, just give me
A moment alone with--
487
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,126
Bug, uh, sit down, bug.
488
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,761
I've learned a lot
489
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:27,265
Over the past
Few days, bug, and...
490
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,866
I just want to say
That...
491
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,003
I'm sorry for what I said
About your mother.
492
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,505
Also, I feel it
Only fair
493
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,508
To give you
The grade you deserve,
494
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,311
Which,
As you probably know,
Is an "F."
495
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,312
Ohh!
496
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,314
Oh, first you and my mom,
497
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,882
And now you're
Giving me an "F"?
498
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:45,883
Oh, man.
499
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:46,884
Oh, man!
500
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,118
Bug!
501
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,024
Dad.
502
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,025
Frankie.
503
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,393
Pauly.
504
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,032
Is this the illustrious
Dr. Solomon?
505
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,733
Yes, that's me.
And you are?
506
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,268
So angry!
507
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,137
Dad--
Shut up, son.
508
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:08,372
I mean that
In the most caring way.
509
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,374
I'm glad you're here,
Mr. Palone.
510
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,410
I was just telling bug
How concerned I was
511
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,580
About your ex-wife's
Lurid sexcapades.
512
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,582
Will you please
Stop talking about that?
513
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,351
You'd think this was
The first woman you ever had.
514
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,852
Well, not to brag,
515
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,788
But actually,
It's my second.
516
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,258
Oh, a ladies' man.
517
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,425
Big shot.
518
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,261
Smooth talker.
519
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,762
You should be ashamed
Of yourself!
520
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,096
No, no, no.
Hold on.
521
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,098
I'm just trying
To set my house
In order.
522
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,134
Granted, having sex
With her in my car
Is fun--
523
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,703
You had it in your car?
524
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,774
Don't hit him!
525
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,276
Let me go!
526
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:48,045
I don't care
If I ever
Play the harp again!
527
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,046
Aah!
528
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:52,349
I'll kill him!
I'll kill him!
529
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,421
I wonder how long
I can convince tina
530
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,956
That the viper's
In the shop.
531
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,958
Oh, probably a long time.
532
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,161
Yeah. She's not
The shiniest coin
In the fountain.
533
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,663
Don't worry, tommy.
534
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,164
We'll get a car
Eventually.
535
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,666
It was just
Our bad luck
536
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,668
That we happened to get
The one car salesman
537
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,669
Who gives his whole
Profession a bad name.
538
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,072
Hey!
539
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,573
Groovy meat monocle.
540
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:17,575
Oh, thanks.
541
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,577
No more casual sex
For you.
542
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:22,913
You know,
There's no such thing
As casual sex.
543
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,982
It has all these
Repercussions.
544
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,316
Well,
Maybe it wouldn't
545
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:27,852
If you'd just
Shut up about it.
546
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,353
If I hadn't
Talked about it,
547
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,922
I never would have
Found out something wonderful.
548
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,724
That mary still cares
About me.
549
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,594
Oh, like I said,
You should have just
Shut up about it.
550
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:37,561
Wow.
551
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,201
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
552
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:49,073
Excuse me,
But is this the line
For the 3:15 show?
553
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,542
No, no.
N-no, you don't!
554
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,544
I'm just here
To see a movie.
555
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:56,046
I'm not having sex
With you!
556
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,048
Please, just take
Some raisinets and go.
557
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,283
Leave me alone!
558
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,284
Go on!
559
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,486
Go on!
560
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,488
That was a close one.
561
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,357
Keep running,
You vulgar slut!
39371
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