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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,904 Oh, hi, nina. 2 00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,339 Would you Stand up on the desk And adjust that vent? 3 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,341 It's blowing Right in my face. 4 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:13,077 Uh, yeah. I'll get To that real soon. 5 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,881 Until then, You just do it yourself. 6 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,016 Fair enough. 7 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:23,321 Oh hi, dick. Would you adjust My vent? 8 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,893 With nina In the room? 9 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,031 Get up on the desk And adjust my vent. 10 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:36,401 - oh, of course. Nina, Please leave the room. - no problem. 11 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,238 I... 12 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,407 I can't reach it From here. 13 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,576 - put your foot On the chair. - wha-- 14 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,078 ( stammers ) Are you sure? It's-- it's wobbly. 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,248 - well, I'll hold it down. - well, all right. 16 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,184 - a little further. - okay. 17 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,419 ( grunts ) 18 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,922 - ah, there. How's that? - hold on, I'll check. 19 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,957 ( screams ) 20 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,260 Oh, my foot! My foot! 21 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,495 Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! 22 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,865 It should have been you! It should have been you! ( groans ) 23 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,034 ( '50s rock music playing ) 24 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,898 That should do it, Dr. Solomon. 25 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,000 Well, that's unbelievable. I feel no pain. 26 00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:45,971 Well you may feel Some discomfort when The shock wears off. 27 00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:50,075 No. Obviously, The fall has made me Impervious to pain. 28 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:55,314 You should go home and try To stay off your foot As much as possible. 29 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,382 Keep it elevated, Keep ice on it. 30 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,883 Just use good judgment. 31 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,685 I have Excellent judgment. 32 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,520 Yep. 33 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:05,457 In fact, nina, Hand me the staple gun. 34 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,162 - call me if you need me. - oh, thank you, doctor. 35 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,263 I'll take him home Right now. 36 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,934 - I can drive myself. - oh! Don't be silly! It's the least I can do. 37 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,337 I'll take you home, Come back here, Pick up my car, 38 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:21,439 Go to the drug store, The grocery store, Pick up anything you need. 39 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:25,377 - okay. - I'll just bring the car Around, okay? 40 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,880 Wha-- why is she Doing this? 41 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,882 Sit back and relax. You're in pain, 42 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,851 She knows she caused it, She feels guilty. 43 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:36,154 Wha-- why should she Be guilty? I'm not in pain. 44 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,091 I have a superhuman Threshold for pain. 45 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,731 ( screaming ) 46 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,969 Okay. 47 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,172 And wha-lah! 48 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,875 Harry? 49 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,810 I'm in my room! 50 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,285 This isn't a room. This is a shower curtain In a hall way. 51 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,222 Is that so? Then why Are my linens here? 52 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,893 Because your linens fell off The washing machine. 53 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,995 I'm sick of sleeping On the washing machine. 54 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,966 Oh, sure, A vibrating bed Impresses the ladies... 55 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:25,236 But I want my own room! Dick said that I Could have one. 56 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,073 No. Dick said that under No circumstances could you Have your own room. 57 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,743 Let's not quibble Over semantics. 58 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,912 Besides, you guys Have your own rooms. 59 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,414 I sleep in a storage space Behind dick's chimney. 60 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:40,585 And my room is An uninsulated alcove Overlooking a toilet. 61 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,322 Room with a view... Rub it in. 62 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,193 ( sighs ) Harry, you can't Sleep in the hallway! 63 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:52,931 ( gasps ) Home wrecker! 64 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,933 ( dick groaning ) 65 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,601 Sally: what's wrong?! 66 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,770 - she hurt me! - it was an accident! 67 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,772 - oh, some accident. - well... 68 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,075 We can make accidents Happen too, lady. 69 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,444 Here, let me Elevate that foot. 70 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,279 ( screams ) No touching! 71 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,948 - no touching! - no touching. 72 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,950 Ooh, what did my body Ever do to deserve this? 73 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:16,388 What did I ever do to you?! Mary, turn it off! 74 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,891 Well I can't. The doctor Said he doesn't give drugs For a sprain. 75 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,428 - ( groans ) - but that's good news, Isn't it? It's not broken. 76 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,164 I heard sometimes a sprain Can be worse than a break. 77 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,167 - ( tommy excited ) oh, is that one worse?! - yes, it is! Much worse! 78 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,002 Well, I said I was sorry! 79 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,671 Can I fix you Something to eat? 80 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:36,841 Just fix my foot! I don't care if I starve, Just fix my foot! 81 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,544 ( stammers ) I-- I'll get you Some ice. 82 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,379 Look at my foot. 83 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,015 It's one big boo-boo. 84 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,783 You sound pretty pathetic. 85 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,785 Is it pathetic To sprain your foot 86 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,089 Worse than anybody ever In the history of the world?! Sally?! 87 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,092 Sorry, dick. But you know nothing About earth pain 88 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,328 Until you've been A woman, okay? 89 00:04:56,330 --> 00:05:00,699 One week every month, I feel like I got a pair Of pliers in my pants. 90 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,969 You got a boo-boo? I'm in The national guard of pain. 91 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:08,840 What was I thinking? I am so stupid! I am so stupid! 92 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,342 Mary seems to understand My pain. 93 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:14,279 Dick? I too understand your pain. 94 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,483 - it's right here. - ( all scream ) 95 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,692 Ah, crespin, Two boxes? 96 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,696 Rupsin, johnny, One box. 97 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,597 Solomon? 98 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,033 15? 99 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:38,036 You really think you can sell 15 boxes of chocolate? 100 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,004 Sell? 101 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,773 That's right. 102 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,976 After school, on the weekends-- Until every bar of chocolate Is sold. 103 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,978 No one's gonna wanna Buy this crap! 104 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,480 - it doesn't Even have raisins! - I'll give you raisins. 105 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,217 - or nougat! - I'm gonna nougat you, Solomon! 106 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,252 What do I get For selling this crap? 107 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,254 You get the satisfaction Of helping to pay 108 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,989 To send the band To washington! 109 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:01,927 - now how's that For compensation?! - oh, all right, cool. 110 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,996 ( animated firing ) 111 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,171 I brought you some soup. 112 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,908 ( softly ) Let me just fix This foot here. 113 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,344 ( screams ) 114 00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,748 - eat your soup. - okay. 115 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,017 ( groans ) 116 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,587 Mmm, this tastes Sumptuous. 117 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,590 My mother used to make This soup for me whenever I was feeling-- 118 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,559 Did she always serve it This cold? 119 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,863 - I'll heat it up Some more. - thank you, mary. 120 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,798 Thank you. ( groans ) 121 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,635 ( groans ) 122 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,105 - is something wrong? - oh... 123 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,842 No, but, Could you also Get me some crackers? 124 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,778 ( sighs ) Sure. 125 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,750 ( groans ) 126 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,887 - are you okay? - oyster crackers? 127 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,061 ( groans ) 128 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:15,233 ( groans louder ) 129 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,770 Mary, I just wanted to say 130 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,707 I'm so happy That it was you Who hurt me so horribly. 131 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,912 All right. I'll be right back With your soup and crackers. 132 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,316 ( yelps ) 133 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,318 oyster crackers! 134 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,654 My god! 135 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,589 I have a magic foot! 136 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,662 - what are you doing? - eating your soup. 137 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,998 - well, you can't do that! - it's not that terrible. 138 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,901 You put a bunch of oyster Crackers in it, you can Barely taste it. 139 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,970 Don't eat all of these! Dick is lying in there hurt. 140 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:57,342 I'm fine and I'm hungry. Besides, I'm not the one Who broke his foot. 141 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,177 ( sternly ) Sprained. 142 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,179 Have a little compassion, Sally. 143 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,214 We're healthy. We have to help him. 144 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,149 I say he's lame. Shoot him. 145 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,954 And wha-lah! 146 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,096 Harry, what are you Doing in here? 147 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,431 Dancing to the natural Sounds of plumbing. 148 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,034 Okay, well, get out 'cause I've got To use the bathroom. 149 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,370 You can't kick me Out of my own room! 150 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,705 Okay, pilgrim. It's your funeral. 151 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:30,641 Oh, dear god! No, no, no, no, no! 152 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,884 Hi, my name's Tommy solomon. 153 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:43,487 I'm selling chocolate bars To send the high school band To washington. 154 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,325 ( doorbell rings ) 155 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,729 Hey, fat guy! Is this a dream Or what?! 156 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,664 Candy door to door-- 157 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,967 - ( doorbell rings ) - tommy: hi, father. 158 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,969 I'm trying to sell These chocolate bars 159 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,238 So the high school band Can go to washington. 160 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,708 And learn About christianity. 161 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,745 ( stammers ) And... Become priests. 162 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,749 fine then. they'll stay here in rutherford 163 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,684 and worship satan! 164 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:18,589 Now this is What I call a room. ( exhales sharply ) 165 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,425 I've got everything A man could need. 166 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,827 A piece of plywood, the gnome, A very thin blanket, 167 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,830 No food, And my new friend, the crow. 168 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,832 ( crow cawing ) 169 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,168 ( mocking crow ) Hi, neighbor! 170 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,103 ( cawing ) 171 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,114 Not exactly The house-warming gift I hoped for. 172 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,383 But you can't Pick your neighbors. 173 00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,619 Tommy, Make me a sandwich. 174 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,556 You have a sandwich Right there. 175 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,559 I know, But mary cut it in half, And not diagonally 176 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,494 And that hurts my foot. 177 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,734 Well, you can chalk it up To me being a teenager, But I just don't care. 178 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:08,039 Mary won't be back From the coloring book store For half an hour. 179 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,041 You know, this day Has been hell! 180 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,143 I think I met One nice guy all day. 181 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,878 How many bars did he buy? 182 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,749 On, none. But he sold me this nice Set of encyclopedias. 183 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,819 Tommy? 184 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,154 Tommy, it's an emergency! I need the remote! 185 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,090 ( groans ) 186 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:28,326 Sally?! Sally?! 187 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,929 ( hollers ) 188 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,431 - god, what?! - I can't reach the remote. 189 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,933 - it's right there! - but I can't get to it, Sally. 190 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,169 - so?! - oh, lieutenant. 191 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,237 Do you know what it's like To feel helpless? 192 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,239 To be robbed Of your freedom by an injury? 193 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,241 To be a burden On your family? 194 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,744 Oh, god, How you must hate me! 195 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,449 ( stammers ) I'm-- experiencing The strangest sensation. 196 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,086 I feel bad That you feel bad and... 197 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,323 Even though I know It'll be annoying, 198 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,058 I just can't seem to fight it. Dick, can I get you anything?! 199 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,895 Make me a sandwich And cut it diagonally. 200 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,663 Okay. 201 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,967 Oh, you forgot The remote! 202 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,945 My foot! It's better! 203 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,148 No! 204 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,526 Go on, doctor. Give it to me straight. 205 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,228 The ankle looks great. 206 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,298 - are you sure? - yes, you're all better. 207 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,735 ( cries ) 208 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,136 Don't you think you should Break it and set it again 209 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,939 Just to make sure It heals properly? 210 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,809 - no. - doctor, you don't Understand. 211 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,810 The moment I sprained That foot, 212 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,813 My life went From vcr to vcr plus! 213 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,082 You've got to help me! 214 00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,885 Dick? The ankle is healed. 215 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,923 I won't be treated this way By your heartless hmo! 216 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,426 I demand control Of my treatment options! 217 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:12,763 Because it's not the length Of our time here that matters, It's the quality of our lives! 218 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,932 And if you're not qualified To break my foot, 219 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,535 Then by god, I'll find A doctor who will! 220 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:25,443 So you're telling me That in this colorful, Monochrome wrapper 221 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,446 - is a bar of chocolate? - that's right. 222 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,281 Delicious chocolate. 223 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:33,284 Now, how far would you walk For a bar of chocolate? 224 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,721 To get a bar of chocolate, Or at the request of a bar Of chocolate? 225 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,791 - to get. - oh, 53 miles. 226 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,295 Well, now you can have Chocolate in your own home. 227 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,397 In my own home?! 228 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,235 That's right. Now, how much Would you pay for that? 229 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,171 For my own home Or for a bar of chocolate? 230 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,207 - bar of chocolate. - ah-- 231 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,476 Well, we tried. 232 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,714 Ow! 233 00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,716 Excuse me, My friend hurt his leg. 234 00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,751 Could you help us out And buy a chocolate bar? 235 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,324 Oh, nina... 236 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,825 I can't tell you How good it is 237 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,662 To be among people Who brush their own teeth. 238 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,931 You're not Brushing his teeth? 239 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,502 Do I have any messages? 240 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,606 1:00, dr. Solomon called. He wants to know Where you are. 241 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,843 - oh, god. - 1:05, dr. Solomon Called again. 242 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:36,981 His foot feels hot. Doesn't know if that's A good thing or a bad thing. 243 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:41,252 1:12, dr. Solomon called. He's hungry. Can you make him A personal pan pizza? 244 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,822 1:17, Dr. Solomon called. 245 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,659 Wants to know if you've Forgotten that you were the one That hurt his foot. 246 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,595 ( phone ringing ) 247 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,637 ( speaking with accent ) Hello? 248 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,307 No, you have The wrong number. 249 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,378 Oh, your foot hurts? 250 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,815 Have you tried Hitting it with a hammer? 251 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,986 ( both laughing ) 252 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,390 - ( doorbell rings ) - I've cold called, 253 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,726 I've direct mailed. I can't afford a pay-per-view Special. 254 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,229 - nothing works. - this isn't my problem, Buddy. 255 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:28,833 Well, just help out An incredibly screwed kid And buy a chocolate bar. 256 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,736 If I bought every stupid Thing that came to my door-- 257 00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:35,072 Tommy, forget it. The guy's not buying anything. 258 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:39,010 I'd be living up to my pledge To help every kid Who came to my door. 259 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,349 - cash or check? - how 'bout both? 260 00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:49,420 Oh, come on! That is just so cheap! 261 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,355 God! 262 00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,094 I really want some candy! 263 00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:01,465 ( "Sexual healing" playing ) 264 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,401 ( radio playing "Sexual healing" ) 265 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:11,442 - what is that? - 93.9, the wave. 266 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,178 The best of the '70s, '80s and today. 267 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,081 Well, I know what it is, But where is it coming from? 268 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,451 From my new tree Entertainment system! 269 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,952 Oh, look! 270 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:25,223 The squirrels are getting it on To marvin gaye. 271 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:30,461 - so it's nice up there? - only the best room In the house. 272 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,731 - see you later, dick. - ( stammers ) but-- but-- 273 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,732 Wha-- wha-- Oh, sally? 274 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:39,136 Thank god you're here. 275 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,972 You know how I hate Asking for your help, 276 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,141 But could you just please 277 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:47,578 - do me this one little favor? - what? 278 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,948 I want to see Harry's cool tree house. Carry me? 279 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,950 No way. 280 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,485 Oh, please, sally? 281 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,387 - there's so little joy In my life. - no. 282 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,056 But sally, I ask you For so little! 283 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,191 - can you just once-- - no! 284 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,830 You're right. 285 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,834 What good is a tree house Visit when death is only Moments away? 286 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,770 - what? - tonight's meal May be my last. 287 00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,006 And you know What that means? 288 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,942 Mexican night! 289 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,115 - I think I hate you, dick. - ( yelps ) 290 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,518 Tommy, harry! We gotta go back To the store! 291 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,021 - it's mexican night! - both: oh, great! 292 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,024 You know what is so weird, Dick? 293 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:36,360 I don't know if it's, uh, What you're saying or... 294 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,429 How you're saying it, But, um... 295 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,099 All that stuff that used To make me want to help you, 296 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,234 Well, now it's just Pissing me off! 297 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,872 - oh, and sally? - what?! 298 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,708 Corn tortillas, Not flour. 299 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,777 Si, señor. 300 00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:57,815 ( radio headset playing ) 301 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,388 No way! 302 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,324 You guys! You gotta see this! 303 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,966 Sally: ohh, I should have known. 304 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,401 Mary: what are you looking at? 305 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,337 All: ssh! 306 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,241 That bastard! 307 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,744 - there goes mexican night. - oh, it's mexican night All right. 308 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,913 Mexican prison night. 309 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,915 I say we stick a bucket On his head 310 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:35,486 And whack him with a bat Like a piñata and we don't Stop till candy comes out! 311 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,754 - tommy, harry, let's go! - wait a minute, sally! 312 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:41,091 What about me? He's taken Advantage of me worse than Any of you. 313 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,461 He made me cut up his food And feed it to him. 314 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,397 He made me sing to his foot! 315 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,366 He made me take His temperature... 316 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,968 The hard way. 317 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,007 Besides, I don't think We have what it takes To get even. 318 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:59,209 I have a metal bucket And three softball bats. 319 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,145 That's a pretty good start. 320 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,390 - ( walkman clicks ) - ( music stops ) 321 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,829 ( panting ) 322 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,975 Ooh-oh. Hi. 323 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,911 The, um-- The ladder appears To be disconnected. 324 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,848 Funny how that happened, eh? 325 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,152 That must be painful Up there on that ladder 326 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,720 With that terrible, Terrible sprain. 327 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,722 ( stammers ) Ah, yeah... 328 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,724 It hurts a lot. 329 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,660 Hey, dick, how did you Get up there? 330 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,096 Well, uh... You know how it is. 331 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,967 - no, tell us. - could one of you Just, uh... 332 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,035 Grab the end of the ladder And pull it in? 333 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,341 Mary: gee, I don't know. it's awfully far. my arm hurts. 334 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,343 - ( all agree ) - well... 335 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,878 Why don't you let me down And I'll have a look at them? 336 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,181 Admit it, dick! You're a liar! 337 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,349 Sally: you manipulated us! you tortured us! 338 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,351 It just happened! It's nobody's fault! 339 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,521 - ( branch cracks ) - okay, okay, okay! 340 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,690 It's my fault. You fortitude just felt so good. 341 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,526 So appropriate. 342 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,362 - ( branch cracks ) - ( yelps ) 343 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,364 - I'm sorry. - mary: that's better. 344 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,533 - ( branch cracks ) - aah! 345 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,201 ( thump ) 346 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,637 - ( branches cracking ) - wow, now that's Gotta hurt. 347 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,375 Not as much as that. 348 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,113 All right! 349 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,382 Everybody line up Into a circle. 350 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,888 - solomon! - sorry I'm late, coach. 351 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:55,392 Hey, anybody who can sell 15 boxes of chocolate in my Class can be a little tardy. 352 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,328 What's your secret, Champ? 353 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,329 Well, You know... 354 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,199 I just kept thinking about Sending the band to washington. 355 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,169 Well, they're gonna owe you Some real thanks when they Get back next week. 356 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,106 Well, what? They're coming back? 357 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,977 Well, yeah. 358 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,979 All right, Which one of you tools 359 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,648 Sold enough chocolate To buy them a return ticket?! 360 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,319 Eh? Hey, you look at me When I'm talking to you! Come here! 361 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,492 Guilt is like a belly button That doesn't even collect lint. 362 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:34,765 It's a wasted emotion That just nags and nags And nags and nags-- 363 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,268 Until dick falls Out of the tree. 364 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,202 ( all mocking groans ) 365 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:46,510 Maybe guilt is some kind of Ancient guidance system. 366 00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,746 A stealth emotion Designed to make people 367 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,081 Help each other out Even if they don't want to. 368 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,852 If I could just break That code, I could get You all to serve me. 369 00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:58,088 You don't need guilt To get anyone to serve you. 370 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,124 We proved that When we were selling candy. 371 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,760 All you need to do Is remind people they like sex. 372 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,428 Oh. 373 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:08,365 Wouldn't it be scary If sex and guilt Were connected? 374 00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,736 ( all laughing ) 375 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,639 Sex and guilt Connected! 376 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,908 - harry, you're an idiot! - I know, I know! 377 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:26,283 Dick, I've been watching tv And I think you can walk Without these crutches. 378 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,651 No, I can't. 379 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:29,653 This man says That he cannot walk, 380 00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:31,989 But I say That he can. 381 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,325 I say I feel the spirit In dick solomon. 382 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,493 - now stand up and walk. - but my foot is broken. 383 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,495 Oh, foot's broken. Those are just words! 384 00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,497 Now deep inside And walk, my brother! 385 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:42,499 - walk! - aah! 386 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,436 ( screams ) 387 00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:50,240 Stay in bed, my brother. Stay in bed. 31990

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