Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,768
Guess what, you guys,
I got a new job.
2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:07,306
- sally:
Another job? Where?
- at gung-ho videos.
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,375
My command
Of the vernacular
4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,610
Impressed both mr. Gung
And mr. Ho.
5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,446
- congratulations, harry.
- good for you, harry.
6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,048
It's freezing out here.
Dick, can we go inside now?
7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,719
No, we're here to experience
Everything on this planet,
Even the uncomfortable parts.
8
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:24,022
I have some
Very uncomfortable parts.
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,758
They said on the news that
The dew point is dropping.
10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,860
- what does that mean?
- I don't know.
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,798
It just caught my attention
'cause it sounded
Kind of dirty.
12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,634
Why do humans spend
So much time worrying
About the weather?
13
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,069
They can't go 15 minutes
Without getting an update.
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,071
Don't these people
Have windows?
15
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,642
I cannot do a book
Report out here, dick.
My fingers are going numb.
16
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,311
- can we please
Go inside now?
- absolutely not.
17
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,481
This is research.
No one goes in without
A damn good reason.
18
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,416
( wind howling )
19
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,391
Does anyone remember
What color our napkins are?
20
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,927
- I think we should go check.
- harry: let's go find out.
21
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,929
( '50s rock music playing )
22
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,197
- whew! I am freezing.
- why don't you wear
A longer skirt?
23
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,501
With these legs?
I don't think so.
24
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,436
Did you pick up
My tickets?
25
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:48,239
Yes, and your reservation
For your hotel in chicago.
There's your itinerary.
26
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,976
Nina, I can't believe
This is happening to me.
27
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:55,380
Not every anthropologist
Receives this kind of honor.
28
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:58,016
I know,
The louis leakey award.
29
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,252
To stand in front of
A conference of educators
30
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,822
And express my thoughts
About my work.
31
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,958
This is going to be
The best weekend of my life.
32
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,628
- why are you looking
At me that way?
- no reason.
33
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,730
Dr. Albright!
Dr. Albright!
34
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,066
Guess what.
You and I are
On the same flight.
35
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,469
Same row, side by side,
Strapped in at 38,000 feet.
36
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,405
Isn't that great?
37
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,475
Why are you going
To the conference?
38
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,811
They're giving me
Some kind of academic award.
39
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,414
They hand these things out
Like candy mints.
40
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,017
Once we get that
Out of the way,
The two of us
41
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,119
Get to experience
The magic that is chicago.
42
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,355
Well, once again
43
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,357
Something wonderful
In my life
44
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,593
Has been turned into
A giant crap fest.
45
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,096
What's the matter?
You--
46
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,967
I guess she's just
Saving up her excitement
For the crap fest.
47
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,202
- you just don't
Get it, do you?
- what do you mean?
48
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,538
There are people
Who have stress
49
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,540
And people
Who give stress,
50
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:59,010
- and you... Are a giver.
- that's nonsense.
51
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,046
- ( knocking )
- dr. Solomon?
52
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,281
Well, come in, leon.
53
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,617
Come in, come in,
Come in, all the way in.
54
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,054
Can I have the weekend
To turn in my paper?
55
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,957
Leon, do you find that
I cause you stress?
56
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,292
- did someone say I said that?
- no.
57
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,628
It was all
A misunderstanding.
I love physics.
58
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,230
I find it very soothing.
I don't know what
You've heard.
59
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:22,400
Please don't fail me.
I'll turn the paper in
By friday.
60
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,502
( stammers )
61
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:27,171
- that was a stress
Reaction, wasn't it?
- yes, it was.
62
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,540
Thank you, nina.
You've opened my eyes.
63
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,276
I'm going to make sure
That dr. Albright's weekend
64
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,278
Is stress-free,
Hassle-free,
65
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,280
And completely
Without unpleasantness.
66
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,349
Oh, you're not going?
67
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,159
Oh, tommy. What are
You doing here?
68
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,662
I thought you had
That book report due
On dickens.
69
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,698
I was doing it,
And it was so boring.
70
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,535
I realized I could save
Myself a lot of work
If I just watched the movie.
71
00:03:56,537 --> 00:04:00,305
I can't believe no kid
Ever thought of this before.
72
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,508
I'll help you
As soon as I'm done
Reorganizing this place.
73
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,844
- why? What was
Wrong with it?
- it was a mess.
74
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,846
Everything was just
Lumped together.
75
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,482
You know, all the "A's,"
All the "B's."
76
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,885
26 unrelated categories,
77
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,388
Except for "X"
Which has its own room.
78
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,691
Well, how does
It work now?
79
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,594
Things are much
Simpler now. Look.
80
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,563
Good movies.
81
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,767
Bad movies.
82
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,736
Movies I haven't seen.
83
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,440
Pardon me, where
Could I find "Aliens"?
84
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,912
Nowhere.
85
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,082
Not here,
That's for sure.
86
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,151
Nobody here
But us humans.
87
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,754
- ♪ la, la, la... ♪
- ( videotape clatters )
88
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,423
♪ la, la, la, la ♪
89
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,927
Stop looking at me.
90
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,497
Do you really
Think this trip is
Such a good idea?
91
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,632
Chicago's really far,
And I saw on tv
92
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,134
- something about a low
Pressure front moving in.
- low pressure?
93
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,169
That's exactly what
Dr. Albright needs.
94
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,672
- ( car horn honks )
- ah, there she is now.
95
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,674
This doesn't feel
Right to me, dick.
96
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,677
Separating from the unit
For an entire weekend
Is madness.
97
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,246
As first officer
In charge of security,
I forbid it.
98
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,449
I am high commander,
And I'm going.
99
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,519
- come on, why?
- lieutenant, don't worry.
100
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,922
I'm prepared
For every eventuality.
101
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,924
I think you're taking this
Far too lightly.
102
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,793
You've never
Traveled here before.
How do you know what to pack?
103
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,630
- how will I reach
You in chicago?
- I'm taking the phone.
104
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,633
You know the number.
105
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,668
Why are you taking
Refrigerator magnets?
106
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,838
Chicago, the windy city?
107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,040
I think it's obvious.
108
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,042
What do you mean?
109
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,044
Let's say
An urgent message
110
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,312
Comes in for dr. Albright,
And she's out sightseeing.
111
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,314
I lay it
On the nightstand
112
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,084
Because I have
No way of securing it
To a metallic surface.
113
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,554
A gust of wind blows it
Under the bed,
114
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,657
And mary never discovers
Her long-lost identical twin,
115
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,660
All for want
Of a magnetic banana.
116
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,662
( car horn honks )
117
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:07,498
That's exactly the kind
Of needless agitation
That I intend to prevent.
118
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,634
Understood.
Travel well, commander.
119
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,570
I shall return.
120
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,315
What are you doing?
121
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,317
I'm entering the pod.
122
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,420
For god's sakes,
Just sit down
And behave yourself.
123
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:33,058
Of course I will, mary.
Here I am, sitting.
124
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,293
You just be calm.
Take a deep breath.
125
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,328
( bell dings )
126
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,098
Female flight attendant:
welcome to northview airlines flight 604 to chicago.
127
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,100
Oh, my god!
Out there!
128
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,003
There's something
On the wing!
129
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,072
( announcement continues over p.A. )
130
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,241
- it's an engine!
- this thing is a deathtrap!
131
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,944
Sky waitress!
Sky waitress!
132
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,046
Please be quiet
During safety procedures.
133
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,616
Safety? On this
Flying donkey cart?
That's rich.
134
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:01,285
How can this woman stay calm
When, at any second,
135
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:04,989
We could go careening out
Of the sky in a flaming
Heap of twisted metal?
136
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,025
- sir, everything
Is going to be--
- at least give her
137
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,160
A gelatin-filled helmet
To keep her brain intact.
138
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,163
She's receiving an award!
139
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,465
- please sit down.
- no!
140
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,435
We're getting off!
Who's with me?
141
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,171
I've never been kicked
Off a plane before.
142
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,173
Be grateful it was
Still on the ground.
143
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:26,377
- you could have told me
You were afraid to fly.
- only on airplanes.
144
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,114
Instead of a 45-minute flight,
I have a seven-hour drive.
145
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,116
Don't worry.
I've anticipated
Your needs,
146
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,651
And I'm ready to fill
The remaining six hours
And 50 minutes
147
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,387
With mirth and merriment.
I brought "Mad libs."
148
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,658
I need the name
Of someone in the room.
149
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,895
- dick.
- dick.
150
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,664
( laughs )
151
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,100
This is funny already.
152
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,171
Look, it's
Starting to snow.
153
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,273
- oh, my god.
- what's the matter?
154
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,275
Haven't you ever seen
A snowflake before?
155
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,677
Yes, and I prayed
I'd never see them again.
156
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,280
Turn on the high beams.
They fear the light.
157
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,758
Where can I find
"Remains of the day"?
158
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,596
Oh, that would be
In the "I didn't
See it" section.
159
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,668
Wow, I've finally found
160
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,770
What I was looking for--
"David copperfield."
161
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,206
It doesn't look boring.
He saws himself in half
162
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,308
And makes the statue
Of liberty disappear.
163
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,979
Hey, look
Out the window.
164
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,914
( screaming )
165
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,250
They're here!
They're here!
166
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,953
Albino brain chiggers!
Cover your ears!
167
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,856
Harry! Harry!
It's snow! Snow.
168
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,826
- oh.
- I learned it
In science class.
169
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:51,496
Come on outside with me
And I'll show you how
To write your name in it.
170
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,736
Oh, my god.
171
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,171
It's covering everything.
172
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,607
The whole town is
Being obliterated.
173
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,012
- hello!
- I'm up here!
174
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,081
I'm up here.
I'm up here!
175
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,083
Uh... Oh.
176
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,886
Uh... Okay, I know
The term paper's late,
177
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,656
- but my car wouldn't st--
- who cares? You're alive.
178
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,660
You're alive.
Who are you?
179
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:25,363
Oh, I-I'm a student
Of dr. Solomon's.
My name's leon.
180
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,532
I'm a sister
Of dr. Solomon's.
My name's sally.
181
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,534
Yeah, I know.
I saw you one day
182
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,602
When you dropped off
His lunch.
183
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,738
And then you went
To the dry cleaners,
184
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,374
And then to
The shoe repair place,
185
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,376
And then the car wash.
186
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,511
And then you went home
And read a book
By the window
187
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,983
- for three hours.
- I remember that day.
188
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,618
Listen, leon, I don't want
To freak you out
Or anything,
189
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,288
But I think
The earth is spiraling
Out of the sun's orbit
190
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,456
And we're heading
For a new ice age.
191
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:56,294
Uh... Did they say
That on the news?
192
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,763
No, but trust me,
I've seen this happen before.
193
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,934
- we could be the last two
Creatures on earth.
- I don't know about that.
194
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,269
Our first responsibility
Is to breed.
195
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,772
We must, must copulate
196
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,708
As much as we can.
197
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,882
Well, now that
You mention it,
198
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,920
I didn't see any people
On the way over.
199
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,488
( gasps )
Damn!
200
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,192
How are we
Supposed to do it
With the lights out?
201
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:33,331
( puerto rican accent )
♪ a boy like that
Will kill your brother ♪
202
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,333
♪ forget that boy
And find another ♪
203
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:39,637
♪ one of your own kind,
Stick to your own kind ♪
204
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,706
♪ a boy who kills
Cannot love ♪
205
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,942
♪ a boy who kills
Has no heart ♪
206
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,611
♪ and he's a boy
Who has no heart,
Very smart ♪
207
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,448
- ♪ oh, no, anita, no,
You should know-- ♪
- oh, my god.
208
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,017
- fear has made
You hysterical.
- oh, no, no, no.
209
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,054
I just like to sing
Show tunes on long trips.
210
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,290
Before I found anthropology,
I was going to be
A theater major.
211
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,525
Did I ever tell you
Why I became a teacher?
212
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,028
- I don't think
This is the best time--
- like all little girls,
213
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,097
I had a thing
For neolithic archeology.
214
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,600
My father used to cut up
My barbies and bury
The pieces in the backyard
215
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,237
So I could
Discover them.
216
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,272
Only problem was,
On my first dig
217
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,608
I discovered I was
Afraid of skeletons.
218
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:21,445
- boy, it's really
Coming down now.
- poor, sweet, tiny mary.
219
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:24,315
You can drop the brave front.
We're under attack.
Pull over.
220
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,817
- what?
- I'm commandeering
This car.
221
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,386
- oh no, you're not.
- it's a full-scale invasion!
222
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,421
- I'll save you!
- ( mary screaming )
223
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,396
Are you getting
The feeling back
In your hands?
224
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,499
- no.
- well, the walk
Wasn't too bad.
225
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,036
Oh, yeah, the last
Four miles just flew by.
226
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,273
You plowed my car
Into a snow bank.
227
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,275
I know.
228
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,879
And we thought it was
Going to fight back.
Aren't we silly?
229
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,381
If anything is wrong
With that car,
230
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,383
I am holding you
Responsible.
231
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,419
We've got to
Stick together.
232
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,421
The roads are closed.
And look around.
233
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,556
We're surrounded
By neanderthals.
234
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,928
That's a fair assessment,
Isn't it, fellas?
235
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,502
Are you
All right, honey?
236
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,805
Yes, I'm fine,
Thank you.
237
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,908
You know, your boyfriend's
Kind of cute.
238
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,344
- him?
- the way he spent
The last hour
239
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,447
- knocking himself out trying
To get your attention.
- he's an idiot.
240
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,950
Honey, they're
All idiots,
241
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,721
But this one is looking
At you like you're the only
Woman on the planet.
242
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,723
Although you're real pretty,
You're not exactly
243
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,893
The last ham sandwich
In hungry town,
If you get my drift.
244
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,898
Yes? It did?
( gasps )
245
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,067
Oh, my god.
Where?
246
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,236
And you're sure?
247
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,072
Thank you.
248
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,074
- mary.
- hmm?
249
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:59,110
- that plane that I
Got us thrown off of...
- yes?
250
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,112
It never
Reached chicago.
251
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,281
Oh, my god!
252
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,784
Oh, my god! Oh!
253
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,886
- oh!
- yes,
254
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,256
The airport was closed,
And they were diverted
To gary, indiana.
255
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,567
Gary is 20 minutes
From chicago.
256
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,905
Well, but it's
An inconvenience
Nonetheless.
257
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,608
I think someone
Owes me an apology.
258
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,584
( wind howling )
259
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,586
Okay, here are
Our rations--
260
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,821
Tuna salad
On whole wheat.
261
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,758
Sorry, all we have
To drink is this
Giant bottle of wine.
262
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,760
It has a modest bouquet,
263
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,696
But I think you'll be amused
By its presumptuousness.
264
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,267
Whatever.
( grunts )
265
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,336
Well, leon,
266
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:02,039
- to the survival
Of the species.
- oh, hmm, yes.
267
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,812
- why are you nervous?
- well, it's just that
268
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,516
I've never been with
A woman of your...
269
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,451
Good-lookingness before.
270
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,155
Yeah, I know, I'm hot.
271
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,157
It's kind of exciting
For me, too.
272
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,793
All the men I've met have
Been strong and decisive,
273
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,530
And you're neither
Of those things.
274
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,999
Well, I can be, maybe.
275
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,203
Probably not.
276
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,507
Oh, leon,
277
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,677
Think what our offspring
Will be like.
278
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,813
They'll have my skills
As a warrior
279
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,082
And your fierce
Intelligence.
280
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,425
Dr. Solomon doesn't talk
Much about me, does he?
281
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,329
I think you're just
Trying too hard.
282
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,598
It's exhausting.
Nothing I do is right.
283
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,600
You see, that's
Your first mistake,
284
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:06,170
You see what I'm saying?
Women don't want you
To do everything.
285
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,072
According to who?
286
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,007
Oprah.
287
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,079
- yeah, oprah.
- so what do I do?
288
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,849
Well, you want to give
Her what she wants
When she needs it.
289
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,984
And you've got to try
And understand it
290
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,954
When she needs
Her freedom to want
What she needs.
291
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:27,791
Yeah, and if she's free
To want it when she
Needs it or not.
292
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,061
- you see what
We're sayin'?
- yeah.
293
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,464
You have got
To pay attention
To what she likes
294
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,466
And share it with her.
295
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,868
- you see what he's saying?
- you see what I'm saying?
296
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,970
- you see what
We're saying?
- yeah, uh-huh,
297
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,006
I see what
You're saying.
298
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:44,409
But what does she like?
299
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,978
Oh, oh, oh!
I know the perfect thing.
300
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,348
No, she hates that.
301
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,084
Ooh, I know!
302
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:56,254
No, that made her
Throw up.
303
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:59,190
- it's hard, isn't it?
- it is damn hard.
304
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,764
♪ oh-hhh... ♪
305
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,268
♪ ...Klahoma where
The wind comes sweeping
Down the plain ♪
306
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,236
Don't even try it.
307
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,477
♪ and the wavin' wheat
Can sure smell sweet ♪
308
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,681
♪ when the wind comes
Right behind the rain ♪
309
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,986
♪ oh-hhh-klahoma ♪
310
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,623
♪ every night
My honey lamb and I ♪
311
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,725
All:
♪ sit alone and talk ♪
312
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,795
♪ and watch the hawk
Making lazy circles ♪
313
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,797
♪ in the sky ♪
314
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:43,401
- ♪ we know we belong
To the land ♪
- all: ♪ ahh ♪
315
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,003
♪ and the land
We belong to is grand ♪
316
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:50,575
♪ yippee-yi,
Yippee-yay, yippee-yay ♪
317
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,011
( weeps )
318
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,316
♪ and when
We say, yeow! ♪
319
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,552
♪ ayipioeeay, yeow! ♪
320
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,721
♪ we're only sayin',
You're doing fine ♪
321
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,723
♪ oklahoma ♪
322
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:09,727
♪ oklahoma
O-k-l-a-h-o-m-a ♪
323
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:16,601
♪ okla-hooo... ♪
324
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,768
♪ ma! ♪
325
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,870
♪ yay! ♪
326
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,580
I don't know why I was
So afraid of the snow.
327
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,582
It's actually
Quite beautiful.
328
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,084
You know that slush
Down in the gutter?
329
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:37,522
You call me crazy,
But you put a little
Cherry syrup on that,
330
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:41,526
You got yourself
A cool, refreshing treat.
331
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,329
Here, listen to this.
332
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:48,399
"Charles dickens'
'david copperfield'
Is an extraordinary book
333
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,169
About a man who accomplishes
Many incredible feats
334
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,171
Involving claudia
Schiffer handcuffed
335
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,173
In an underwater tank
With sharks."
336
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,476
- that's good.
- where are all the tapes?
337
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:02,213
Well, we had a big night,
But fear not.
338
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:05,783
We still got five copies
Of "Johnny mnemonic."
339
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,720
If that's not
Your cup of tea,
We've also got
340
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,823
"The making of
Johnny mnemonic."
341
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,459
How about adult movies?
342
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,001
We got
"Fat fräuleins."
343
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,970
"A lusty romp
Through the cheese
And sausage shops
344
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:29,039
Of communist east berlin."
345
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,410
Forget it.
346
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,113
All right,
Give it to me.
347
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,289
So then freddy stivender
Beat the crap out of me.
348
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,924
It was the talk
Of the school.
349
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,792
I was so embarrassed.
350
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,729
But after weeks
Of plotting,
351
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,098
- I got my revenge.
- what did you do?
352
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,901
I had my mom
Tell his mom.
353
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,372
I like your tactics.
354
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,310
You know, it may just
Be the wine talking,
355
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,280
But I'm beginning
To think
356
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,782
In a crazy world
Like this,
357
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,951
You and me
358
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,953
Just might make sense.
359
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,858
Hey, lights!
360
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,027
They'll be out again
In a second,
361
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,596
If there's a god
In heaven.
362
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,931
People are outside
Shoveling snow.
363
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,701
We're not
The last people
Alive on earth.
364
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:34,238
Leon, you don't have
To impregnate me!
365
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,643
Uh... Oh, good.
366
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,581
Not to mention the ominous
Behavioral parallels
367
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,617
Between australopithecus,
Euralopithecus...
368
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,155
- this is stupid.
- no! No, it's not.
369
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,624
( overlapping dialogue )
370
00:19:56,563 --> 00:20:00,030
So in accepting this award,
I must pose the question,
371
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,934
"Has our journey
From primate to man
Finally concluded,
372
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,170
Or has it just begun?"
373
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,206
( gasps )
Wonderful.
374
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,040
Wonderful! Yes!
375
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,477
Excuse me, dick,
But that road
Has been cleared
376
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,580
For a good half hour
Out there.
377
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,549
Be all right if we just
Scoot on out of here?
378
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,219
- sure. Sure.
- thank you, ma'am.
379
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,221
Ma'am, I surely
Am sorry
380
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,989
You didn't get to pick up
Your leakey award.
381
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,732
Oh, dick, I feel
I owe you a thank you.
382
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,668
You certainly
Made the time pass.
383
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,938
I can't blame
The weather on you.
Well, I could,
384
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,173
But I won't.
385
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,344
- sometimes things
Just don't work out.
- oh, I don't know.
386
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:49,280
Sometimes on the way
To what's supposed to happen
387
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,516
Something even better
Happens,
388
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:56,086
Which is why I am pleased
To present you with this orb
389
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,922
Containing a diorama
Of the city of chicago
390
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,158
In a state
Of perpetual blizzard.
391
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,331
- it's remarkable, isn't it?
- yes, it is.
392
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,634
- and I have
Something for you.
- you do?
393
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,236
- the crimson shovel.
- oh, thank you.
394
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,339
- let's go
Dig out the car.
- absolutely.
395
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,309
It should be easy to find.
I left the lights on.
396
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,947
( '50s rock music playing )
33586
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof