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1
00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:04,134
- Oh, man.
2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,267
Another Valentine's Day ruined.
3
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:09,096
- Uh, my money's on somebody's
dick stuck in something.
4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,228
- Or something stuck
in some girl's yoo-hoo.
5
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:13,187
- I'm going
with two people stuck together.
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,492
- Ew, how's that happen?
7
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:15,711
- Four years ago, two guys
8
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,060
with a Chinese finger trap.
9
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,106
Jaws of life. You do the math.
10
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,150
- Nah.
11
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,195
- Man, wait.
12
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,370
- Huh?
13
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,285
All right.
14
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,242
[laughs]
- Aww.
15
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:26,983
- Hey, man, remember to knock.
16
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,463
- I know.
17
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,073
Tacoma FD!
18
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,076
- Yes! Please, come in.
19
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,687
- Oh.
20
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,646
- Thank God. Get me down.
21
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,822
- We can't stop the fan
because my idiot husband
22
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,432
lost the remote.
- I didn't lose it.
23
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,651
You lost it.
24
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:43,956
- Don't even try to blame me.
25
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,394
You can't keep track
of anything.
26
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,223
[light music]
27
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,311
- Well, there you go.
28
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,529
- [laughs]
- Uh-oh.
29
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,575
- Oh, hello.
- Whoa.
30
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:54,663
- Could somebody get me down?
31
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,230
I really have to pee.
32
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,796
- Why don't you just go
in the Cupid diaper?
33
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,234
- Wow, great idea.
34
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,149
[moaning in relief]
35
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,151
- Oh.
36
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,282
- Oh! [laughs]
37
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,675
I found the remote.
38
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,111
I mean, I think this is it.
39
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:11,027
[fan whirring]
- Whoa.
40
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,160
Whoa, whoa.
41
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,248
[both groan]
42
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,553
- Oh, my pelvis.
43
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:16,946
- My ribs.
44
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,643
- Well, the things we do
for love.
45
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,081
Happy Valentine's Day,
everyone.
46
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,821
- Happy Valentine's Day, Cap.
47
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,085
Let's get you undone here.
Are you all right, sir?
48
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:28,349
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
49
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:33,571
♪ ♪
50
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:36,400
- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
51
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,837
♪ Check it and see ♪
52
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:42,841
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
53
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:46,671
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
54
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,326
- Four letter word
for galactic princess.
55
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,502
- Leia?
- Leia, what's that from?
56
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,025
- "Star Wars."
- Never heard of it.
57
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:55,898
- Whoo--ee.
Boy, I love Valentine's Day.
58
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,248
Best day of the year.
- I don't know about that, Cap.
59
00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,858
I'm kind of bummed that
I'm missin' it at the club.
60
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:02,078
This is a huge money day
for us.
61
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,993
- Don't you always get injured
at the club on Valentine's Day?
62
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,908
- I mean, yeah,
there's some unwanted yanking
63
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,823
and scratching
and the odd donkey punch,
64
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,955
but it's just a massive tip day
for us.
65
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,522
- Massive tips?
- Massive tips, yeah.
66
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,524
We work mainly on tips.
- I just didn't--I didn't know
67
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,222
if I heard you right.
- No, massive tits are there,
68
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,311
but that's Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday nights.
69
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,877
- Damn, Cap.
How many Valentine's Day cards
70
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,010
you sendin' out?
- Ah, just eight.
71
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,143
These cards'll go out with the
chocolates and the lingerie,
72
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,840
which is really just a gift
for myself.
73
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,363
And Tacomagnolias
just delivered
74
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,452
my personally designed
flower baskets,
75
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:29,714
the Eddie Penisi Special,
76
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,282
which have a 112% success rate.
77
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,589
- Wait, how do you have
112% success rate?
78
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:37,635
- 'Cause sometimes the florist
falls in love with me too.
79
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,594
- Damn.
- Oh, brother.
80
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,943
- Honestly,
that sounds exhausting.
81
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,163
- You mean exhilarating, Lucy.
82
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,991
Valentine's Day is
the best holiday of the year.
83
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,993
You've got love.
You've got romance.
84
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,952
You get to woo people.
- Wait.
85
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,693
Aren't you dating Marnie
from Dispatch?
86
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,521
- No, that was last year.
Now I'm dating Gigi
87
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,784
from Dispatch, but we have
an open relationship.
88
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,655
- Which is code
for "I'm cheating."
89
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,831
- No, I'm not cheating.
It's fine.
90
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,311
- Another delivery for Lucy.
91
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:02,312
- Oh, uh, throw it on the pile,
92
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,096
but I'll take the card.
93
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,315
- Why are you bending the card?
- 'Cause last year,
94
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,143
I accidentally threw out
a couple gift cards,
95
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,710
and I don't wanna make
that mistake again.
96
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,625
- Hey, everyone.
- Vicky.
97
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,409
- What's up? How's it going?
- Yo, yo.
98
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,584
- How's it goin' here?
- What up?
99
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:15,238
- Hi, Vic.
- Mr. McConky,
100
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,065
you forgot this.
101
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,806
- Thank you, Mrs. McConky.
102
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,547
- All right, well,
see you later.
103
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,288
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
104
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,854
That's it? No kiss?
105
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,421
No "Happy Valentine's Day"?
106
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,292
It's Valentine's Day.
107
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:26,684
- Eddie, Valentine's Day is
108
00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,164
to relationships
what St. Patrick's Day is
109
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,122
to drinking.
It's amateur hour.
110
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,647
- Okay, so you're saying
you guys are romantic
111
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,301
when it's not Valentine's Day?
112
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,390
- What we're saying is
that we don't need
113
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,392
all of this holiday fluff.
114
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,524
- You guys don't get each other
Valentine's Day gifts?
115
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,830
- Yeah, actually
a couple years ago,
116
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,788
I got her
a silicone mixing spoon,
117
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,094
but that was really a gift
for myself.
118
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,270
[laughs]
- A silicone mixing spoon
119
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,576
for Valentine's Day?
120
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,447
What is wrong with you?
- No, no.
121
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,232
You should see this thing scoop
mashed potatoes.
122
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,842
It's unbelievable.
They don't stick.
123
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,365
- Oh, they don't stick.
- They don't stick.
124
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,975
- It's a great spoon.
- It'll never melt.
125
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,629
- Oh, my God, Vicky,
if ever there was proof
126
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,588
that you were adopted,
this is it.
127
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:03,068
What kind of a Penisi doesn't
like Valentine's Day?
128
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,593
- You know what, we've been
together for decades, okay?
129
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:06,855
Why don't you try
staying married
130
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,465
for more than six months,
131
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,336
and then we'll talk?
132
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,686
all: Oh!
- That's a burn.
133
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,557
How 'bout some aloe
for that burn?
134
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,385
- No, it's not a burn.
It's sad.
135
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:18,954
- Now I'm gonna go,
but first, watch this, Eddie.
136
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,912
Oh, see?
What do you think about that?
137
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:21,957
- I feel pity for you.
138
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,654
- I pity you. Bye.
139
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,395
- Bye.
- Bye, Vic.
140
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,441
- Delivery for Lucy McConky.
141
00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:28,355
- Mickleberry.
142
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,270
- You can give that to me.
143
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,097
- Go get 'em, probie.
- Hey, Chief, look.
144
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,317
Ed Sheeran got a perm. [laughs]
145
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,539
- Who was that from?
- Don't know, don't care.
146
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,063
- Jeez, the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.
147
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,456
- What does that mean?
- What it means is,
148
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:45,023
Lucy has grown up watching
your boring romance,
149
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,504
or, as I like to call it,
a "no-mance."
150
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,506
She's never seen real romance
in her life.
151
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,813
- It's so true.
She doesn't know how to respond
152
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:53,554
to all of this.
- Okay, stay out of this.
153
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,990
It's not my fault.
154
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,121
- Well, she doesn't like
Valentine's Day,
155
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,514
and she hates public displays
156
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,211
of affection.
- It's true, Chiefy.
157
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,779
Because of you,
Lucy will never experience
158
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,520
the excitement of courtly love.
159
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,870
- Hey, keep Kurt Cobain's wife
out of this.
160
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,350
[laughs]
[alarm blares]
161
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,047
- Okay.
- Engine 24, rescue at--
162
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,788
- That's on you, Chiefy.
163
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,224
- That's ridiculous.
164
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,791
It's not on me.
- Yeah, it's on you.
165
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,619
- Ridiculous.
166
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,622
[upbeat rock music]
167
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:22,409
♪ ♪
168
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,367
- I'm crusty, but also sticky,
169
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,803
like a crème brûlée.
170
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,457
- So tell me, how is it
that not one
171
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,285
of those workers that fell
into that giant vat
172
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,808
of egg yolks knew how to swim?
173
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:31,940
- More importantly,
174
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,202
that cake factory was way out
175
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,682
of our response area.
176
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,814
Why would Dispatch send us?
- Right?
177
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,729
- Seriously, why is Gigi
sending us on calls
178
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,078
that aren't even
in our district?
179
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,558
- Come on, guys.
It's a routine call.
180
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:42,864
Let's stop whining.
- Well, that's easy
181
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:43,952
for you to say.
182
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:44,953
You didn't have to jump
183
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,520
into a vat of egg yolks.
184
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:47,434
- Well, I'm the captain.
185
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,565
One day,
when you're the captain,
186
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,740
you can delegate too.
187
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,438
In the meantime,
hit the showers.
188
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,354
You guys are disgusting.
189
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,225
♪ ♪
190
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,053
- Last one is a rotten egg.
191
00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,402
- That's funny.
192
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:04,407
[faint upbeat music]
193
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,323
♪ ♪
194
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,846
- [grunts]
195
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,806
[Jason Akana's
"In Your Skies"]
196
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:15,679
♪ ♪
197
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:18,769
- ♪ So glad that we are here ♪
198
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,424
- Shh.
- What, what, what?
199
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,425
Oh.
200
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,905
♪ ♪
201
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,081
- ♪ Take a ride and hold on ♪
202
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,343
- Gotta give it to the guy.
203
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,866
It's a strong move.
- Totally.
204
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,694
"Say Anything" used
to be my go-to movie
205
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,479
with the ladies.
- I love that movie.
206
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,698
- ♪ Want this moment to ♪
207
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,005
- Oh, oh.
208
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,747
- ♪ I'll go anywhere ♪
209
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,793
♪ Do anything with you ♪
210
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:45,317
♪ ♪
211
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,972
♪ To the moon and back ♪
212
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:54,675
♪ Back again with you ♪
213
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:55,806
- Oh.
214
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,419
- You said it, Dad.
Amateur hour.
215
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:00,681
- It is on me.
216
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,596
I've ruined my daughter.
217
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,424
- I told you.
218
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,951
- Vicky, we need to talk.
219
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:11,474
[alarm blaring]
220
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,607
- Station 24, fire in progress
221
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,608
at Frost Park.
222
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:15,826
Please respond.
223
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,828
- Whoa, whoa. Frost Park?
224
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,177
That's Station 1, isn't it?
225
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,701
What the hell is Gigi doin'?
226
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,746
- I picked this call
for you, Eddie.
227
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,008
- Did you do something to her?
228
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,488
- Not really.
- Not really?
229
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,098
- I broke up with her.
- When?
230
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,926
- This morning.
- Wait, you broke up
231
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:31,146
with Dispatch
on Valentine's Day, Cap?
232
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,277
- Not a big deal.
- Did you use
233
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,496
your A game breakup?
234
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,106
- No, more like my C game.
235
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:38,283
- C g--that's not enough game,
Cap! Come on!
236
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:40,329
- What's everybody getting
all worked up about?
237
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:41,809
- A dozen port-a-potties are
on fire
238
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,201
at the Chili Festival.
239
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,160
Eddie, it'll smell just like
240
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:48,555
the rotting excrement
you call a soul.
241
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:53,211
This is gonna be the worst
Valentine's Day of your life.
242
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,257
- Sounds like it's gonna be
the worst Valentine's Day
243
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,388
of all of our lives.
244
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,912
- Thanks a lot, Uncle Eddie.
245
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,957
- Ah, come on. Load it up.
246
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,835
[upbeat rock music]
247
00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:10,141
- [groans]
248
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:13,188
- [scatting]
249
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,277
- Hey, man.
We're sufferin' because
250
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,757
of what you did to Gigi.
- What did I do?
251
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,629
- You broke up with her
on Valentine's Day.
252
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,413
- Why does the day matter?
253
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,111
I didn't wanna date her
anymore, so I ended things.
254
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,678
It's very simple.
- You could've waited a day.
255
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,288
- You're saying you wanted me
to lie to her,
256
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,724
lead her on
through the holiday,
257
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,291
have sex with her all night,
and then
258
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,510
break up with her
in the morning?
259
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:31,989
- Okay, I don't think
any of us
260
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,643
factored in the sex part.
261
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,818
- Ike, it's Valentine's Day.
262
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,646
- I know, Cap. It's just...
263
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,692
it's really frustrating.
- Oh, come on, Cap.
264
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,215
You dumped her
just so you could go do
265
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,738
your whole
Valentine's Day thing.
266
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,261
Just this morning,
you were gloating
267
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,220
about raw-doggin' it
and flower baskets
268
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,135
and open relationships.
269
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:48,789
- Well,
that was after we broke up.
270
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,573
I thought it was best
to hit the ground running.
271
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:51,618
- Well, now you have to get
back together with her.
272
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,794
- [laughs] No, no, no, no.
273
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,752
She'll get over it. It's okay.
- That's easy
274
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,058
for you to say, Cap.
You're not the one covered
275
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,581
in blue stuff and chili shit.
276
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,714
- Chili shit.
- Chili shit.
277
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,585
- Okay, guys, just relax.
278
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,500
This will pass.
Everything's gonna be fine.
279
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,980
[phone vibrates]
Oh, hold on.
280
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,808
- Are you kidding right now?
- [laughs]
281
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,375
Hey, Cha Cha Ramirez just got
her chocolate basket.
282
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,029
Looks like I could be doing
the cha-cha tonight.
283
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:15,511
Excuse me, guys.
284
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,339
- Despicable.
- We gotta take matters
285
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:18,862
into our own hands.
286
00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,429
- The guy did
the "Say Anything"
287
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,474
boom box routine,
and she shut him down.
288
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:23,737
- Okay, that movie came out
289
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,303
when we were in middle school.
290
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,088
She's probably never even
seen it.
291
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,524
- Everyone knows that movie.
292
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,483
- [scoffs] 'Cause it's cheesy.
293
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,833
- [laughing nervously] Totally,
that's what I was gonna say.
294
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,225
Totally. It's cheesy.
295
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,706
- Terry,
were you gonna say it's cool?
296
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,535
- "Say Anything"?
[laughing] Come on. Really?
297
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,668
"Say Anything"? No, no, no.
298
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:45,019
What I was gonna say was,
maybe she hasn't seen it
299
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,977
because she doesn't watch
rom-coms.
300
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,370
- Oh.
- I checked
301
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,763
her Netflix history.
- How do you have
302
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:50,764
her Netflix account?
303
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,156
- She's still on ours.
- [sighs]
304
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,288
We really have to cut her off.
305
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,681
- Here's what I've discovered.
306
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,944
- Okay.
- "Manufacturing a Killer,"
307
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,598
"The Boioioing Bandit,"
308
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,817
"The World's Most Dangerous
Brothels,"
309
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,776
"'Empanyada' Kings
of Argentina."
310
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,168
- First of all,
it's "empanada."
311
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,387
- That's what I said,
"empanyada."
312
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,693
- Empanada.
- "Empanyada."
313
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,782
- Second of all, who cares?
314
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,522
So she likes docuseries.
315
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,220
- There's not one rom-com
in there.
316
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,918
- And?
- Girls love rom-coms.
317
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:17,355
- [growls] That is so sexist.
318
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:18,748
- You love rom-coms.
- What?
319
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,968
- I checked your history.
- No, you have not.
320
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,230
Don't. [gasps]
- Huh?
321
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,623
- Terry.
- Look.
322
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:26,538
Huh?
"The Queen Without Affection,"
323
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,671
"The Suffragette
Who Never Got Touched,"
324
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,542
"12 Years Without Tenderness."
- Uh-huh.
325
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,849
- "The Unromanced Handmaid,"
all period pieces.
326
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,764
- I like period pieces, okay?
327
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,418
They are classy.
328
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,812
You know what?
I wanna take a gander at yours.
329
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,727
- Go ahead.
I got nothing to hide.
330
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,468
- "Expendables,"
one, two, three, and four,
331
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:46,341
"Rocky" one, two, three, four,
and five.
332
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,430
- Five is the best one.
- "First Blood,"
333
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,736
"Rambo: First Blood Part II,"
334
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:52,913
"Rambo III,"
"Rambo IV: Last Blood."
335
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,916
[scoffs]
This is all Sylvester Stallone,
336
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,309
except for
"Guardians of the Galaxy 2."
337
00:10:58,353 --> 00:10:59,789
- Uh, he's in that one also.
338
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,922
- Okay, you know what?
339
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,488
What have we learned
from this exercise?
340
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,316
- That we all watch Netflix
alone?
341
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,014
- Besides that.
- There are a stack
342
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:10,017
of Valentine's cards out there
that she's not responding to.
343
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,672
We have set a bad example
for Lucy.
344
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,022
- You know what, Terry?
You're right.
345
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,893
You're right.
We're the parents.
346
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,243
It's up to us.
We gotta make our daughter
347
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,420
believe in romance.
348
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,379
[line trilling]
- [shushing] Stop it.
349
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:27,512
First of all, I'm doing it,
so everybody shut up.
350
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,384
- Tacomagnolias,
how may I help?
351
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,603
- [as Eddie] Yeah, this is,
uh, Eddie Penisi.
352
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:34,476
Uh,
with whom am I, uh, speakin'?
353
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,870
- Hi, Eddie. This is Amber.
354
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:40,264
- [as Eddie] Hey, uh, "Amb-uh,"
how youse doin'?
355
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,571
Uh, I was wonderin'
if I could order one more
356
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:45,487
of those Eddie Penisi Special
flower arrangements...
357
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,097
[squeakily] Delivered today.
358
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,620
- [whispering]
That sucks so bad.
359
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:49,796
She's not gonna buy that.
- Do you mean
360
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,059
the Eddie Penisi
"Special" Special?
361
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,843
- I think so.
362
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,716
Oh!
363
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,588
- Okay, you have the
Eddie Penisi "Special" Special
364
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:02,722
on standby for
the special lady of the day.
365
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,767
- [as Eddie] Yeah,
she's special-special.
366
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,944
Send to Gigi Bonano,
TFD Dispatch,
367
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:11,731
45 Florida Avenue, 93453.
368
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:14,081
Put a rush on that,
and throw in a few flowers
369
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,604
for yourself, Amber.
370
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,823
You're prettier
than the sun settin'
371
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:19,564
on a waterfall in springtime.
- [laughs]
372
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,566
- Oh, thanks, Eddie.
373
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,917
I'm around this weekend
if you wanna hang out.
374
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,354
- Yeah, sure. Why not?
375
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:27,747
[as himself]
What just happened?
376
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,227
- "Prettier than a waterfall."
[laughs]
377
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,490
- Penisi was flowing
through you, man.
378
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,275
- I know.
I could feel him enter me
379
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:35,580
and then leave.
380
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,017
- Ugh.
- Yeah, that's gross.
381
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,975
- Well--what, what? Why?
382
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,935
- Do you know why St. Valentine
got a day named after him?
383
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,980
- I think he chased
the prostitutes outta Ireland
384
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,199
or something.
I don't know.
385
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,504
I get my holidays mixed up.
386
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:47,984
- Hey-o. Whatcha doing?
387
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,682
- Oh, just playing chess,
talking about prostitutes.
388
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,076
- Oh, cool, cool, cool.
Sounds educational. [chuckles]
389
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,208
- Oh, hey, guys.
390
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,209
How's it goin'?
391
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,298
H--hi, my love.
392
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,516
- Look at my gorgeous girl.
393
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:03,217
- Oh, come here.
both: Mmm.
394
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,174
- Whew.
- Whoa.
395
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,959
both: Mwah.
396
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,351
- [exhales dramatically]
397
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,397
Whoa.
- Oh, hey.
398
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,833
Did I forget my phone again?
399
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:11,921
- No, no.
400
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,444
Yeah, I left this morning
and I was,
401
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:15,185
uh--I was thinking
about what Eddie said,
402
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,796
and I--I was like,
"You know what?
403
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:20,887
"We have been discreet
about our love, but why?
404
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:24,368
"This is the Valentine's Day
that we show everyone
405
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,980
just how romantic we are."
406
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,416
- [groans] Mm.
407
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,766
both: Mmm.
408
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,073
- Why are they looking at us?
409
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:35,075
- [laughs]
Oh, speaking of that...
410
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,163
- Mm-hmm?
- I got you
411
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,425
a very special gift.
412
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,079
- What is happening?
413
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,689
- On this Valentine's Day...
- Uh-huh.
414
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,517
- I wanted to get something
for your mother
415
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,040
to show her that I love her.
416
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,433
- Oh.
417
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:46,913
Terry. [gasps]
418
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,002
That is just...
[gasps]
419
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,047
Beautiful. Oh, wow. Look.
420
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,135
[clears throat]
421
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:53,745
Wait, is this silver?
422
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,617
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
Why, what's wrong with silver?
423
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,271
- [laughs]
- Mom's allergic to silver.
424
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,707
How do you not know that, Dad?
425
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,100
- Hmm.
- You know what?
426
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,145
That's--that's okay. Okay?
427
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,234
That's all right, honey.
I'm just gonna tough this out.
428
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,062
Okay? 'Cause that's--
429
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,195
that's just
a little itchy wrist and...
430
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,718
[sniffles]
A rash is starting too,
431
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,068
but that is just a small price
to pay
432
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,330
for romance.
- Right?
433
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,767
- And you know what?
I got you something too.
434
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,291
- A gift for me?
- Uh-huh.
435
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,641
A token of my love...
436
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,425
on Valentine's Day.
437
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:22,949
- Chocolates?
- Mm-hmm.
438
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,907
- [laughs] I love chocolates.
439
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,822
- Of course you do.
[both laugh]
440
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,824
- May I?
- By all means.
441
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,567
- Oh, yeah. There it is.
442
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,699
Mm-hmm.
- [laughing] Oh.
443
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,353
- Mm.
444
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,355
- [clears throat]
This a caramel?
445
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,704
- Yeah, what's wrong
with caramel?
446
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,010
- Dad hates caramel.
- Yeah.
447
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,056
- He hates nougat.
- Oh, no. I love nougat.
448
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:46,015
[laughs] I can't believe
you forgot that I hate caramel.
449
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,538
We've talked about it
for many years.
450
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:48,626
- Well, I can't believe
that you forgot
451
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,977
that I'm allergic to silver.
452
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,456
- Well, I'm sorry I forget
453
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,023
which shiny metals
you're allergic to.
454
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,372
- We've been married
a really long time,
455
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,765
and you should know that
by now.
456
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,375
- And I have had
exactly zero caramels
457
00:14:58,419 --> 00:14:59,507
in that long time.
458
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:00,595
- You wanna go roll hoses?
459
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:01,813
- Yeah, whatever.
- Mm-kay.
460
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,032
- Okay, guys.
- Yeah.
461
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,207
- All right.
- Okay.
462
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:07,341
- [clears throat]
463
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,691
- Take care.
464
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,040
- That could not have
gone worse.
465
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,608
- I think I did very well.
- You think you...
466
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:15,001
look at my arm.
- What's wrong with your arm?
467
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,524
- It's itchy.
- Oh, suck it up.
468
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:17,699
- I can't move it.
- Are you kidding me?
469
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,135
- Take it off.
- God.
470
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,791
- Delivery for Eddie Penisi.
471
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,098
- Yeah, that's me.
- It's from Gigi Bonano.
472
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,317
You sent it,
but she returned it.
473
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,753
- I didn't send this to her.
474
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,625
- Yeah, neither did we.
475
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,453
Come on, bro. Get it right.
476
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:33,845
- Did you guys send this
to Gigi?
477
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,064
- Huh?
- No, man.
478
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,457
Prince Harry was fucking lyin'.
479
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,241
- Cap, yeah.
You can't trust that guy.
480
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,373
- Mickleberry?
481
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,722
- It was them.
- Mick!
482
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,245
That was going perfectly.
483
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,725
- You idiots.
484
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:47,729
This is the Eddie Penisi
"Special" Special.
485
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,165
It's a morning-after basket
486
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,080
for the special lady
that just spent the night.
487
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,691
Look,
electrolyte recovery drink,
488
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,345
morning-after pill.
There's some chocolate
489
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:58,479
in case she feels sad or happy,
and most importantly,
490
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,133
a signed Eddie Penisi 8x10.
491
00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:02,352
"You're one in a million"
to make 'em feel unique.
492
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:05,138
- Station 24, we have
a rotting cow carcass
493
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,096
stuck in a sewage overflow
drainage pipe.
494
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:13,233
Please respond, and thanks
for the whore basket, Eddie.
495
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,322
- One, two, three, toilet duty.
496
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:18,325
[light music]
497
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:19,979
♪ ♪
498
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,459
Okay, just to show you guys
I'm a team player,
499
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,895
I'm gonna handle this one.
500
00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,419
- Gee, thanks.
- Awesome.
501
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,595
[saw buzzing]
502
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:37,997
- Come on!
[all grumbling]
503
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,955
- Stop!
[all yelling]
504
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,565
- Oh, I'm lactose intolerant!
505
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,176
No, don't!
It's getting on me!
506
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,916
- Aah!
507
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,483
- Gross!
508
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,050
- Ugh, come on.
509
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,139
Did you have
to cut through the udder?
510
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,141
- Yeah, it's a cow.
- [coughing]
511
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,577
- [gags]
512
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:01,107
[upbeat music]
513
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,109
- [sighs]
514
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:07,330
♪ ♪
515
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,115
I don't know what's worse,
the cow,
516
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,291
the overturned orange juice
truck with extra pulp,
517
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:14,120
or the human hair dumpster fire
at the barbershop.
518
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:17,340
- Now I'ma have nightmares
about burnt human hair smell.
519
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,907
- You gotta fix this, Cap.
520
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,300
- Have you tried being honest
with her?
521
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,518
- That's what started all this.
522
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,346
- Well, maybe it's time to lie.
523
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,132
- No, I am not lying,
and lemme just remind you guys
524
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,742
that all those calls
were real calls
525
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,048
from people in need.
526
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:30,440
I suggest all of you get
cleaned up
527
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,313
before the next call comes in.
528
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,141
- First shower!
529
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:40,972
♪ ♪
530
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,278
- [as Eddie] Hey, uh, Dispatch.
531
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,627
This is Eddie Penisi,
532
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:47,240
and I'd like
to speak to Gigi Bonano.
533
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,807
Kid, work your magic.
534
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,244
- I don't think it's very
romantic when we go out
535
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,898
to dinner and you ride me
for eating too much bread.
536
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,683
- You tell me to do that.
537
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:56,901
[as Terry]
Don't let me eat any bread.
538
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,164
It ruins my appetite.
539
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,556
[grumbling]
540
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,905
- Well,
your tone could be nicer.
541
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,255
- [groans]
- You guys still fightin'
542
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,647
over romance in here?
543
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,214
- No, no, no, no, no.
Just...
544
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,998
just havin' Mom and Dad talk.
545
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,349
- Look, I'm sorry your little
ruse backfired on you.
546
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,307
- Uh, which ruse is that?
- Oh, the one where you were
547
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,135
trying to show me how romantic
you are.
548
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,223
- What?
[both laugh]
549
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,746
- That's ridiculous.
550
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,313
- Oh, you thought that
if you showed me
551
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,054
how you can be romantic
on Valentine's Day,
552
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,578
that I'd see it's okay
to be romantic.
553
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,450
But I know it's okay.
554
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:24,668
- You do?
555
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,148
- I like romance,
556
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,368
but I just don't want all
the showy stuff--
557
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,239
chocolates and flowers
on the same day
558
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,415
that everybody else does it.
559
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,330
I like your kind of romance,
560
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,245
the effortless kind
and the kind where
561
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,508
you know you love someone
because of how comfortable
562
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,031
you are together.
563
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,511
[laughs] I want someone
who will buy me
564
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,948
a silicone mixing spoon
because the mashed potatoes
565
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,994
don't stick to it.
- They don't stick to it.
566
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,649
- Oh, that stainless steel
handle is just so good.
567
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,085
- See, this is what
I'm talking about.
568
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,869
You guys are perfect
for each other.
569
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:53,436
I want this, and until then,
570
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,396
all the "Say Anything"
boom box guys can take a hike.
571
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,354
- You know that movie?
- Yeah, of course.
572
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,226
That moment gives me
dumb chills.
573
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,401
- Thank you.
574
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,706
- Me too. Totally, me too.
- [laughs]
575
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,013
- Dumb chills. [laughs]
576
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,884
- Oh, whoa.
both: What?
577
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,234
- What is this?
- What?
578
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,235
- It's like this--
- What is it?
579
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,888
- Is that a hair?
580
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,586
- Is that mine?
- It's in your ear.
581
00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:14,414
It's in your ear. Oh, my gosh.
- Oh!
582
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,546
- Ew! Aah!
- Ugh.
583
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:17,895
[gags]
584
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,376
- What is that?
- Oh, come on.
585
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,465
Uncle Eddie dumped Gigi
from Dispatch this morning,
586
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,381
and now she's sending us on all
the worst calls in the city.
587
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,774
- Breaking up with Dispatch?
588
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,906
Bad move on Valentine's Day.
[laughs]
589
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,995
- [sighs] You're telling me.
All right, lovebirds,
590
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,521
I'm gonna go
take another shower.
591
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,262
- She's a good kid.
- Yeah.
592
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,612
We did all right.
593
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,222
- [clicks tongue]
594
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,877
[both exhale heavily]
595
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,444
[smacks lips]
596
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,576
Think this would be a romantic
time for a kiss or...
597
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:49,318
- Uh, I guess so.
598
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,015
- Oh.
599
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,279
Mm.
- [clears throat]
600
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:54,976
Yeah, that was good.
601
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,456
- Really good.
[laughing] Yeah, okay.
602
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:57,848
- High five.
603
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,937
- Good one.
604
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,026
I was thinking about buying
new dinner plates.
605
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:02,897
- Hmm.
606
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,899
- [laughs] Right?
- Yep.
607
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,640
- Eddie Penisi.
608
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,468
[upbeat tense music]
609
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,469
- Gigi?
610
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,253
♪ ♪
611
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,515
What happened to your foot?
612
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:13,603
- Shut the fuck up.
613
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,170
Like you give a shit.
614
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,477
I don't have a lot of time,
so make it quick.
615
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,782
- Um, what do you mean?
616
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,001
- What do you mean,
"What do I mean"?
617
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,959
You told me to come down here.
618
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,483
You said it was life or death.
619
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,007
- Oh, well,
that was irresponsible of me.
620
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,791
Why did I do that, I wonder?
621
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,619
- I think it was
because you wanted to beg
622
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:31,360
for mercy or something.
623
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,796
- Okay, okay.
624
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,103
Gigi, I am sorry about
the timing,
625
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,757
but did you really want me
to lie to you
626
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,498
just because
it's Valentine's Day?
627
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:40,717
- Eddie, you are lying.
628
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:43,329
You did this
because it's Valentine's Day
629
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:45,635
so that you can go hook up
with other girls
630
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,071
on your favorite holiday.
631
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:49,465
- No, no.
That's not true, Gigi.
632
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:53,426
I am not looking to be
with anybody else.
633
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,952
Okay, if I am being
totally honest,
634
00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:02,261
I found somebody
who has changed me.
635
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,872
I've decided to settle down
with her.
636
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,526
And I didn't know how
to tell you that
637
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,354
because I didn't wanna
hurt you.
638
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,530
- Bullshit. Who?
639
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:13,359
♪ ♪
640
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,099
- Oh.
641
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,668
- Gigi, this is Vicky.
642
00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,496
We're in love.
643
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,369
- Super in love.
- Very in love.
644
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,892
- They're the most in love.
- Very in love.
645
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:26,763
both: Yeah.
- I've never seen two people--
646
00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:28,112
- Yeah,
when they started dating,
647
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:29,505
we were like, "Wow,
that's perfect."
648
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:31,551
- [clears throat] Yeah, great.
649
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:33,509
Nice to meet you, Gigi.
650
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,206
- Prove it. Kiss her.
651
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,078
- No, no.
We don't believe in PDA.
652
00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:38,775
- No, hell no.
We don't do that.
653
00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:43,171
- High-school stuff.
- You're Mr. PDA, Eddie.
654
00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:44,564
Kiss her.
655
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:46,783
- Okay, okay. Um, okay.
656
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:48,524
Of course I will.
657
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,569
Yeah. Why not?
658
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:54,530
♪ ♪
659
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:56,010
- Mm. Okay. There we are.
660
00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:58,578
- That doesn't look like
an "I'm in love" kiss at all.
661
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:00,449
- Actually, that's the way
my wife and I kiss
662
00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:02,364
all the time.
- Then I feel sorry for you.
663
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:03,713
- Okay, great.
664
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,585
- Kiss her.
665
00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:08,457
- [grunts]
- [quietly] Please, please.
666
00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:13,027
- Okay, yeah. Sure.
667
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,948
[moans]
668
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:22,863
Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
669
00:22:22,906 --> 00:22:25,605
- [crying]
- [groans]
670
00:22:25,648 --> 00:22:26,475
- Oh, God.
671
00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:29,391
- [exhales]
- There you go.
672
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:30,131
Love of my life.
673
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:34,309
- That's... disgusting.
674
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,617
You don't think I know that
that's your sister?
675
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:38,400
- What?
676
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:40,010
- Oh, that's Vicky Penisi.
677
00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:42,665
She was three years ahead
of me in high school.
678
00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:45,494
This is the level
you would go to
679
00:22:45,538 --> 00:22:47,583
to lie to me.
680
00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:48,889
You're deranged.
681
00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:51,152
You know what?
You are all off the hook
682
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:52,196
'cause I don't even care.
683
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,198
Thank you for showing me
684
00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:55,809
what I'm not missing.
685
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,289
Thank you for opening my eyes.
686
00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:00,161
I'm glad I'm not with you.
Goodbye.
687
00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:01,684
- Bye, Gigi. Have a good one.
688
00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:03,904
- Fuck you.
689
00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:05,601
- We did it. Ay!
690
00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:07,560
Happy Valentine's Day,
everyone.
691
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,649
I am Eddie Penisi.
692
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:12,521
- [grunts]
all: Oh!
693
00:23:12,565 --> 00:23:13,870
- Good punch, Vic.
- [laughs]
694
00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:16,612
That punch was hot, honey.
[laughs]
695
00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:18,832
Happy Valentine's Day.
696
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,573
- Yeah.
697
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:26,535
- [grunts]
- [sighs]
698
00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:27,754
Wow.
699
00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:29,146
Oh, wow.
700
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:30,321
- Are you sure this is a thing?
701
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,975
- Yeah, it's called "cosplay."
702
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:32,976
- "Costplay"?
703
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,325
- Cosplay.
704
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:37,372
- Costplay?
- Cosplay. Cosplay.
705
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,634
- That sounds like
a made-up word.
706
00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:39,548
- What do you think?
707
00:23:39,592 --> 00:23:40,810
- How'd they do anything
in this?
708
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:41,811
I can't even move.
709
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:42,986
- This does kind of suck.
710
00:23:43,030 --> 00:23:43,987
- You wanna just do nurse
711
00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:45,162
and firefighter again?
712
00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:47,556
- Totally.
- Yeah, okay.
713
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,037
- [sighs]
714
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:53,301
Where's the fire?
715
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:56,609
- Right here in my heart,
Chief McConky.
716
00:23:56,652 --> 00:23:58,045
[upbeat music]
717
00:23:58,088 --> 00:23:59,438
Oh, that's weird, right?
718
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,222
- Yeah, I didn't like that.
- Yeah.
719
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:03,006
- Let's just watch a movie?
- Ooh, Stallone?
720
00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,574
- No fucking way.
721
00:24:05,618 --> 00:24:07,010
- "Say Anything"?
50673
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