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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,340
rrealEstate.
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,136
-Thank you for making my world
so much bigger.
3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,812
-Hey! Luke.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,061
I got my license today.
5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,813
-Well, that’s great!
Congratulations.
6
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,815
-House, unlock the door!
7
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House!
8
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,654
[scream]
9
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,694
Luke, if you could still do
what you used to do,
10
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,397
we wouldn’t be here.
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,148
-I’m always telling you to find
a better work-life balance.
12
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739
-This isn’t about balance.
This is about
13
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,874
getting out of here
and reassessing my life.
14
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,741
[opening theme fades out]
15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,998
[creepy score]
16
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,582
[animal hooting]
17
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,377
[laughs]
18
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,751
-You have to relax.
I’m just taking the shortcut.
19
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,507
[dramatic boom]
20
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,682
Nah, it’s perfectly fine.
21
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,680
The biggest thing in these woods
is a raccoon.
22
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,353
There’s no bears or wolves.
23
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:03,315
No, all the chainsaw murderers
are still at camp.
24
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,732
What’re you even--
Hang on.
25
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,197
Nothing.
26
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,072
[branches breaking]
27
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,750
Look, I’ll be home in ten or so.
Okay, bye.
28
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,415
[indistinct woman’s voice
echoing]
29
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,089
Hello?
30
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,764
[indistinct woman’s voice
echoing]
31
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,352
[indistinct woman’s voice
echoing]
32
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,068
[opening theme]
33
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,117
-[dramatic boom]
-[grunt]
34
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,792
[screaming]
35
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,457
[man screaming]
36
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,127
[gentle piano music playing]
37
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,055
[sighing]
38
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,725
-Mm...
39
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:21,222
House, call the condescending,
unappreciative jerk.
40
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,930
-Calling Luke Roman.
-[line trilling]
41
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,190
-Don’t pick up.
Voicemail, voicemail, voicemail.
42
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,982
[piano music fades out]
43
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:29,114
-You’ve reached Luke Roman.
I’m sorry I missed your call.
44
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:30,784
-Please leave a message.
-[answering machine tone]
45
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,945
-Luke! Oh, darn.
I was hoping to talk to you.
46
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,281
I just wanted to let you know
that I’m going to need
47
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,196
a few more days
away from the office.
48
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,915
I’ll be sending you
the contracts
49
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,745
on Bouvier, Santos
and Padgett.
50
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,330
They’re easy closings,
clean titles, approved loans,
51
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,036
you won’t have any problems.
52
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,746
The Dunn-Herberts
are doing their usual dance.
53
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,126
It’s probably a good
teaching moment for Zooey.
54
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,423
I’m dealing with some
personal business,
55
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,428
so I’m not sure
when I’ll be back in the office,
56
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,721
but seeing as
nothing ever changes
57
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,595
at the perfect Roman Agency,
58
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,932
I’m sure you have everything
well in hand.
59
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,518
-Toodles.
-[call disconnecting beeps]
60
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,193
[giggling]
61
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,480
Hm.
62
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,185
The "toodles" was a bit much.
63
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,480
-[House] It was a nice touch.
Cordial, yet dismissive.
64
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,400
-Yeah. That’s what
I was going for.
65
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,527
-Would you like some tea?
66
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,703
-Yes.
67
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,455
-Yes, I would.
-[device chimes]
68
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,036
[piano music playing]
69
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,701
[contented sigh]
70
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,496
[leaves rustling]
71
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,841
-Toodles?
-[gentle score]
72
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,422
-It’s a hell of a house.
73
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,257
-Yeah, built in 1893,
historic, solid.
74
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,013
-Can’t wait to bulldoze it.
-Well, you need to buy it first.
75
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,676
It’s only polite.
76
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,472
As you can see,
the property line starts here.
77
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,269
The creek is on your side.
Plenty of room to--
78
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,853
-What’s that?
-Well, that is the lot
79
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,058
next to yours. It’s just
a small place, barely a cottage.
80
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,728
-How much?
-I...
81
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,105
I don’t know
if it’s listed for sale.
82
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,904
-If I own that lot,
83
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,857
I don’t need to worry about
the easements.
84
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,238
I could build the pool area
over here
85
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,815
and put the tennis court
over here.
86
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,660
And the guest house
could be way over here,
87
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,245
so I’d hardly ever
need to interact
88
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,910
with visiting relatives.
89
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,999
-I don’t even know
if you’d see them.
90
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,674
-Oh, yeah!
91
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,839
-We’ll reach out
and get a price.
92
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,804
-Don’t worry
about the price. Buy it.
93
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,012
-Maybe we should close
on this property first,
94
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,466
you know,
get the ball rolling.
95
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,216
-We’re going to do
both deals at once.
96
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,848
I could never enjoy this lot
97
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,515
knowing that
I can’t have that lot.
98
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,233
That’s just me.
99
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,273
All or nothing.
100
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,817
I’m gonna call my architect.
101
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,480
[birds chirping]
102
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,110
[gentle score continues]
103
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,290
[darker score]
104
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,894
[high-pitched eerie tone]
105
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,725
[eerie score]
106
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,073
[knocking on door]
107
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,112
[dramatic boom]
108
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,441
-The house and underlying dirt
109
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,146
are owned by
an offshore holding company.
110
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,186
The only point of contact
is a law firm in Budapest.
111
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,700
-Swell.
112
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,201
-I reached out
and left a message.
113
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,703
-Yeah, we’re not
liking the odds
114
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,534
that we’re going to hear back
anytime soon.
115
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,579
-So, we have one sale
contingent on two properties.
116
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,703
This cabin in the woods
is creating more drama than the
117
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,420
-million dollar property.
-Mm-hm. Life is funny.
118
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,501
-You know, I could have sworn
there was something
119
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,707
in that house,
watching me.
120
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,837
-You think maybe
it was your, um...
121
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,966
your mojo coming back?
122
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,681
-Ah! Maybe it’s growing back,
like a starfish leg.
123
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,262
-No.
Just old-fashioned paranoia.
124
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,848
You all set for today?
125
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,603
-Mm-hm.
-What’s today?
126
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,525
-I am taking my first couple
to look at houses.
127
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,775
Susan’s taking her personal days
and I am covering.
128
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,277
-Aw. Who’s the victim?
I mean, who’s the client?
129
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,240
-[mocking]
Aw, who’s the victim.
130
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,611
The Dunn-Herberts.
Lara and Freya.
131
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,198
[laughing]
132
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,873
[mischievous score]
133
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,370
What?
134
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,045
-[Luke] The Dunn-Herberts
are our locally sourced
135
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,794
organic vegan lookie-loos.
136
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,416
-[Phil] They shop,
137
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,212
they kvetch
and they never buy.
138
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,797
[score ends]
139
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,472
Have fun.
140
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,515
-Great.
[shuddering sigh]
141
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,305
[dramatic booms]
142
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,969
Oh, my God.
You did not do them justice.
143
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,679
This is like an Oscar Wilde play
about mistaken identity.
144
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,520
They’re pretending
to shop for a house
145
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,115
and I’m pretending this isn’t
a complete waste of my time.
146
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,111
-Well, Susan felt the same way.
- When?
147
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,983
-Did you talk to her?
-Naw,
148
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,570
this was the last time
Lara and Freya
149
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,325
took her for a spin.
150
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,446
-Don’t you think maybe
you should check in?
151
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,124
-With Susan?
152
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,287
I’ll see her at the charity
bowling thing this weekend.
153
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,123
-Oh, right?
154
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,998
That’s, like,
mandatory, right?
155
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,135
-You’re an agent now.
It’s part of the deal.
156
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,382
-Yeah, just testing the fence
for weak spots.
157
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,424
Like a velociraptor.
158
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,798
-Anything back from
the lawyers in Budapest?
159
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,755
-It’s been, like, half a day.
I don’t want to be a ’pesht’.
160
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,886
-Oh, I see what you did there.
-[elevator arriving chime]
161
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,434
-[Zooey laughs, sighs]
-I kill me.
162
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,228
[mischievous score]
163
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,151
-Oops. I gotta go
be a receptionist.
164
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,808
Bye.
165
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,485
-So...
166
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,149
how much do we love it?
167
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,868
-May I help you?
168
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,331
-"Please call me.
169
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,885
You’re about to
win the lottery."
170
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,514
-Oh!
171
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,590
You are the
cabin in the woods!
172
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,006
-I live in the house
in the woods.
173
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,765
And I don’t
play the lottery.
174
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,682
-I was being
a little clever.
175
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,557
-Very little.
176
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,734
-Could we, uh,
go in here and talk?
177
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,016
-Now, why would we do that?
178
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,401
-Well, if you leave,
you’ll never know.
179
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,124
[mischievous score continues]
180
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,000
-[buzzing from speaker]
-[score fades out]
181
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,297
[buzzing]
182
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,172
-This all looks so...
science-y.
183
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,720
-Hm. Vic Tandy,
184
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,176
a British engineer with an
interest in the occult,
185
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:03,596
experimented with infrasound,
or low frequency sound.
186
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,614
Less than 20hz.
18.5 to be exact.
187
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,648
Some called it
the spirit frequency.
188
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,491
-[gentle score]
-How’s it work?
189
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,823
-Well, he theorized that sending
vibrations out at that frequency
190
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,240
might start a dialogue with...
191
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,159
God knows what.
192
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:25,577
So, this disk can be used
like a cochlear implant:
193
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,288
if something extra-normal
reaches out
194
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,298
it should vibrate
your cochlear nerve.
195
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,340
-And start a dialogue.
196
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,723
So, if Luke wears this thing,
197
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,546
he’ll have his
Luke tingle back?
198
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,139
-Well, I’m not certain
199
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,564
that it will enable him
to communicate verbally,
200
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,643
but it should enable
a certain... intuition.
201
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,059
-Mm.
-The sense of a presence.
202
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,614
[sharp inhale]
203
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,491
Can we agree
to never use the term
204
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,243
"Luke tingle" again?
205
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,621
-Yeah, let’s. Mind if I
take it for a test drive?
206
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,292
-Be my guest.
207
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381
[high-pitched buzzing]
208
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,086
-Kinda tingly.
209
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,760
-[cacophony]
-Ow! Damn!
210
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,348
-Wait, what’s wrong?
-Oh!
211
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:25,312
It went batshit crazy,
like an explosion of noises.
212
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,732
-Really?
213
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,024
-Ohh!
214
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,608
Oh, whoa.
215
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,193
-So, that is what
we are looking at.
216
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,899
-Hm.
-[score fades out]
217
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,989
Your running dog
capitalist lackey
218
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,284
wants to buy my idyllic cottage
in the pastoral woods
219
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:45,079
and tear it down
for his tennis courts.
220
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,835
-Well, don’t forget about
the pool and the guest house.
221
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,877
-Yes. His desire to avoid
his relatives is so far
222
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,212
the only endearing
thing about him.
223
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,878
[both laugh]
224
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,592
-Um, so, uh...
225
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,636
[intriguing score]
226
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,301
what do you say?
227
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,267
-No.
228
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,522
-Kay. Kay?
229
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,195
Kay.
[clears throat]
230
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,023
I’m going to go way out here
on a limb ethically
231
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,240
and confide in you that
my client has way more
232
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,071
money than sense. He will
overpay for your property
233
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,197
to an alarming degree.
234
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,034
-Oh.
235
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,699
Lucky, lucky me.
236
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,844
-You didn’t have to come here.
237
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,665
All I did was drop off
a not-so-clever business card.
238
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,630
You could have let it go,
but you didn’t.
239
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,096
-Fair enough.
240
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,851
-Well, we could
talk about this over...
241
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,813
I don’t know...
dinner?
242
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,939
-I do have to eat.
Occasionally.
243
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,654
-How about tonight? I could--
-I have plans tonight.
244
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,355
-Tomorrow?
245
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,025
[both chuckle]
246
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,821
-My nights are full and rich,
247
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,700
so I like to eat early.
248
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,326
Maybe Friday?
249
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,326
Pick me up at my priceless house
around seven.
250
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,086
-Okay.
251
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,841
-[elevator arriving chime]
-[doors open]
252
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,182
-Hm.
-[August] Who was that?
253
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,062
Luke?
254
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,725
-Oh, just a homeowner.
255
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,102
-I think
you need to watch her.
256
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,484
Closely.
257
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,067
-That’s my plan.
258
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,782
[score crescendos,
fades out]
259
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,366
[coyotes howling]
260
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,541
-I think
you’re being a hamster.
261
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,290
-Just because
I won’t lie for you?
262
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,712
-It’s hardly even a lie!
If my mom calls,
263
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,621
just tell her
I’m staying with you that night!
264
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,460
I’ve stayed at your place
lots of times!
265
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,215
-And what if she
wants to speak to you?
266
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,337
-Then tell her I’m...
I’m in the shower!
267
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,225
Or I’m out by the pool
giving cardiac massage
268
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,803
to a drowning nun!
269
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,137
-Dude, work with me!
-[ominous score]
270
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,224
-If my parents find out,
there’s gonna be trouble.
271
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,890
They already don’t like--
272
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,976
Bruno?
273
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,992
Bruno?
274
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,911
Come on, Bru,
quit screwing around!
275
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,460
Very funny.
C’mon, let’s--
276
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,708
[unintelligible talking]
277
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,225
[screaming]
278
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,814
Bruno!
279
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,726
[elevator arriving chime]
280
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,566
-[ominous score fades out]
-[mischievous score fads in]
281
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,441
-Well, she said no.
But in real estate,
282
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,858
"no" is where we start
not where we end.
283
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,617
-I’m sure that looks great
on a motivational poster
284
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,580
but it only pisses me off.
285
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,793
-Listen, I’m having dinner
286
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,371
with the homeowner
on Friday night, so...
287
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,996
-Well, that’s great, Luke.
288
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,253
Take her out to dinner,
order some wine.
289
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,925
Hell, sleep with her
if you have to,
290
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,633
but get me
that property.
291
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,343
-I’ll do my best.
292
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,133
[mischievous score fades out]
293
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,927
-[news announcer]
...and the recent disappearance
294
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,590
to a tragic incident
two and half years ago
295
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,009
when the bodies of four teens
were found
296
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,889
-completely drained of blood.
-[door opening]
297
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,515
Police sources have neither--
298
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,272
-[mischievous score]
-Ladies!
299
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,944
-Hi!
300
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,522
-Tantalize me, Zooey.
What are we going to see today?
301
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,318
-Tantalize me, Freya.
302
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,652
Is there a world in which
you two actually buy something?
303
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,323
You do know
that real estate agents
304
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,908
only make money
off of sales
305
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,242
and wasting an agent’s time
if you have
306
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,248
zero intention of buying
is the moral equivalent of --
307
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,921
I don’t know --
robbing a liquor store?
308
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,340
-I hope we find something...
perfect.
309
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,131
-Something to die for.
310
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,634
-I hope we fall in love
at first sight.
311
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,007
-I hope we find something
so perfect
312
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,355
that my checkbook
leaps out of my purse
313
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,221
and writes
an earnest money deposit
314
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,267
before I can stop it!
315
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,931
-But probably not.
316
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,772
-No.
317
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,935
-[exhales] It’s okay.
318
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,687
[score fades out]
319
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:28,736
-[Luke] Miranda, our client
is willing to drop 15 grand
320
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,319
off the price
to repair the roof
321
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,162
but there’s nothing wrong
with the floors.
322
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,913
Of course!
323
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,705
And your people are welcome to
carpet over it when it’s theirs!
324
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,156
It’s unreasonable to expect us
to pay for them.
325
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,171
No, no, no, no, no.
Those maple floors are gorgeous.
326
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,133
Carpeting over them
would be an act of vandalism.
327
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,423
We’re not going to subsidize
their bad choices.
328
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,377
Tell them about the 15 grand
for the roof and then
329
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,258
tell them horror stories
about dust mites and mold.
330
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,595
Scare their children
and then call me back.
331
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,261
Okay, bye.
332
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,234
-When there was only one set
of footprints in the carpet,
333
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,402
that’s when
you were carrying me.
334
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,940
-What’s up?
335
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,397
-Tell me about that client
who was in yesterday.
336
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,357
-Not really a client.
She owns one of the properties
337
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,947
Erik Toft wants to buy.
338
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,372
-What do you know about her?
-Not much.
339
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,581
Kay Bozer.
She got an edge to her.
340
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,620
No bullshit.
341
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,405
Kind of refreshing.
342
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,714
-When she was in the office,
she...
343
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,630
affected
one of my devices.
344
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,212
[gentle score]
345
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,797
-What do you mean?
346
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,842
-It operates
at a certain frequency
347
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,046
that is sensitive
to certain phenomena.
348
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,144
It could be a coincidence,
but...
349
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,641
the device operated properly
again the moment she left.
350
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,484
Will you be, uh,
seeing the lady again?
351
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,193
-We’re having dinner Friday,
as a matter of fact.
352
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,321
Kinda hit it off.
[chuckles]
353
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,903
-So it’s, uh...
354
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,238
not an insidious plan
to get her to sell?
355
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,745
-No, my insidious plan
was to have a nice dinner
356
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,327
with an interesting lady.
357
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,622
My first since Megan,
in fact.
358
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,998
-Would you, uh, be open
to trying a sort of experiment?
359
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,796
This device
is really quite subtle.
360
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,673
You wear it behind your ear.
361
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,640
-She won’t even see that--
-I don’t think so...
362
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,260
-Luke, it’s science.
363
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,307
-No! It’s a dinner date
with a nice lady.
364
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,891
-A nice lady
365
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,226
who might just vibrate
at 18.5 hertz.
366
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,520
[sucks teeth]
-Let me see it.
367
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,407
-See? No big thing.
368
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,831
-I don’t know. Feels creepy
wearing a
369
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,376
metaphysical nicotine patch
on our first date.
370
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,750
-Science is often creepy.
371
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:52,130
But, if it isn’t activated,
she’ll never know.
372
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,876
-And if it is?
-Run away.
373
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,508
Run like hell.
374
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,555
As fast as you can.
375
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,220
[score crescendos, fades out]
376
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,361
[Zooey sighs]
377
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,693
Ah! You’re back.
378
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,986
-Oh-ho.
[chuckles]
379
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,030
They are killing me,
Augie.
380
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,025
Not only are they draining me
of my will to sell real estate,
381
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,078
they are draining me
of my will to live.
382
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,702
[August chuckles]
383
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,248
-You should talk to Luke.
Just, uh, not right now.
384
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,924
-Why?
385
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,712
-It seems that, uh,
one of Susan’s clients
386
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,716
is involved in a transaction
with one of Rita’s clients
387
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,430
and Rita is unhappy about
Susan’s extended sabbatical.
388
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,722
-Rita Weiss: America’s
real estate sweetheart.
389
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,717
So, what else is happening
in the real world?
390
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,349
-Well, let’s see...
391
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:49,346
Uh, Luke is still trying
to close the Toft deals.
392
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,070
He has developed a
post-professional interest
393
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,532
in the woman who owns
the adjacent property.
394
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,073
My spirit frequency
device was--
395
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,696
-Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!
396
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,123
Did you just say
post-professional?
397
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,742
He’s hot for her?
398
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,538
-Your words,
not mine.
399
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:10,043
-Oh, my God! That’ll teach me
to leave the office, like, ever!
400
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,587
Who is she?
What is she like?
401
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,211
-We haven’t met.
402
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,917
But she, uh...
403
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,547
set off my device.
404
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,264
[giggles]
405
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,264
-Apparently
she did the same for Luke.
406
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,063
[laughs]
[sighs at her own cleverness]
407
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,426
[sighs]
408
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,100
[score fades out]
409
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,652
-So, Luke tells me
you’re a licensed agent now.
410
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,316
Congratulations.
411
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,403
-Thank you.
412
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,070
-Hm.
-[mischievous score]
413
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,617
You know,
I always liked you, Zooey.
414
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,295
You strike me
as an oasis of pragmatism
415
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,958
in a place
obsessed with fantasy,
416
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,342
like the last
personal injury attorney in a
417
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,341
hastily assembled
amusement park.
418
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591
May I give you
a piece of advice?
419
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,256
-I guess so.
420
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,644
-Always give the client
421
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,182
what they need.
422
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,315
Not what they want.
423
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,982
-Yeah? Hm.
424
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,640
-Do you know
what I used to be?
425
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,479
I got my masters
in philosophy.
426
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,817
Oh, yes.
I focused on Kierkegaard.
427
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,821
The aesthetic, the ethical
and the religious.
428
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,704
Well, you can imagine how
429
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,701
gracefully that interacted
with a career in real estate.
430
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,828
Zero sales.
431
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,951
-So, what did you do?
-So I shifted gears.
432
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,539
I focused on the primacy
of the individual
433
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,705
and of individual concerns
above any abstract reality
434
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,705
or grand metaphysical system.
435
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,506
Still couldn’t sell a salmon
to a grizzly bear.
436
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,303
-This is all great stuff,
437
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,176
but what am I supposed to do
with any of it?
438
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,853
-I realized that I was vastly
overthinking the whole thing
439
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,523
and that my clients were
ignorant doorknobs
440
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,524
incapable of articulating
their own desires.
441
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,022
So, I looked at
their lifestyles
442
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,899
and I showed them
corresponding inventory.
443
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:03,237
I focused on
what they deeply needed,
444
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,534
not what they said they wanted
445
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,408
because seldom are they
the same thing.
446
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,375
-Preach!
-Mm.
447
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:13,715
The moment I fully embraced
my intellectual authority
448
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,333
and saw my clients
449
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,919
as the low-level primates
that they are
450
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:21,009
my business tripled overnight.
451
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:23,431
I was able to pay off
my student loans,
452
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,091
buy a Cadillac Escalade...
453
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,386
and divorce my husband.
454
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,434
-So sad.
455
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,519
Yet inspiring.
456
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,734
-Well, that’s the big secret.
457
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,405
You are smarter
than your clients.
458
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,741
-I totally am!
459
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,071
-Oh, you might want to pass it
along to Captain Goodhair.
460
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,739
He still seems to think that
clients deserve our respect.
461
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,120
-[both laughing]
-That’s adorable.
462
00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,787
[both laughing]
463
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,246
Oh.
464
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,086
[sighs]
465
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,380
Still crazy.
466
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,046
[score fades out]
467
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,054
-How’d it go?
468
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,302
-Well, he took the device.
469
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,059
We’ll see
if he actually deploys it.
470
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,770
-There is something
creepy about it,
471
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,601
-you know?
-Yeah.
472
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,976
-On the subject of creepy,
you know those missing kids?
473
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,983
-Yeah, I’ve heard
something about them.
474
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,109
-Something rings a bell.
475
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,732
[creepy score]
476
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,399
-[burbling water]
477
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,569
[crow cawing]
478
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:38,787
[crow cawing]
479
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,762
[unintelligible female voice]
480
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,092
-Hey! Are you okay?
481
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,270
[creepy score intensifies]
482
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,028
[high-pitched ringing]
483
00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,658
What’s the matter?
484
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,880
[shushing]
485
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,635
Hey!
486
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,300
You shouldn’t be here.
487
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:34,392
This is where those--
[screaming]
488
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:36,390
[woman laughing]
489
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,346
[creepy score fades out]
490
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,019
[rap music;
man vocalizing]
491
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,070
-Ladies, how was your day?
492
00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:48,573
’Cause it’s about to get
a whole lot better.
493
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,236
[rap music intensifies,
gets louder]
494
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,532
[engine revving,
tires squealing]
495
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,831
So, there are two houses
left on the list
496
00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,415
Susan made up for you.
497
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,210
We’re coming up
to the first one...
498
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,713
and...
499
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,545
-we’re driving away!
-What?!
500
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,840
-It’s not right.
Tiny rooms, no natural lighting
501
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,764
and the raccoons in the yard?
Yeah, they’re not
502
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:10,512
the helpful Disney kind.
They’ll cut a bitch.
503
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,434
-I still wouldn’t mind--
-Nah, you hate it already.
504
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:16,013
So, moving on to
bachelorette number two.
505
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:19,350
Here she comes, and...
506
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,016
-there she goes.
-Wait! Slow down.
507
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,905
-Bye!
508
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,522
Two bedrooms, two baths,
509
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,568
fully finished basement
and a home office.
510
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,862
All the stuff you wanted
and none of the shit you need.
511
00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:30,396
-Zooey, can’t we just--?
512
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,529
-Price is on the high side
of your range.
513
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,276
Add in the HOA fees and to
make PITI you’re gonna need
514
00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:37,409
a bake sale every month, which
is going to be impossible. Why?
515
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,576
Because your kitchen
is too frickin’ small!
516
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:42,295
So, that’s it
for Susan’s houses.
517
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:45,746
Now it’s time for me
to rock your world.
518
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,918
-[tires screech]
-[laughing]
519
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:50,966
[music fades out]
520
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,631
[creepy score]
521
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,600
[loud cacophony]
522
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,567
-[cacophony fades out]
-[creepy score continues]
523
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,443
-Right on time.
524
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,110
-Hi.
525
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,075
-Look.
526
00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,742
It’s a blood moon tonight.
527
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,960
-Pardon me?
528
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,621
-A blood moon.
529
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,668
The direct sunlight on earth
passes through the atmosphere
530
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:28,464
and is projected
onto the moon;
531
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,299
makes it all red
and spooky.
532
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,304
Hasn’t happened
for two and a half years.
533
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,637
-So this is
a special night.
534
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,472
-Very.
535
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,480
[woman vocalizing]
536
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,985
[dramatic boom]
537
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,947
[dramatic score]
538
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:18,967
[energetic violins playing]
539
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,145
[dramatic boom]
540
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,196
[score fades out]
541
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:44,705
-[Kay] I like your eyes.
542
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,080
-[light jazz music playing]
-[Kay laughs]
543
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,581
No, I do.
544
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,296
They’ve seen a lot.
545
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,428
Most men your age--
our age--
546
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,063
still have the eyes
of adolescent boys.
547
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:06,023
-Too many Saturday open houses
will do that to a person.
548
00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:07,693
[Kay chuckles]
549
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,558
So, you’re not
seeing anyone?
550
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:15,149
-Nobody special.
551
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,279
You?
552
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,954
-Mm-mm.
553
00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:21,948
-Well, that’s
about to change.
554
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,366
-You’re somebody special?
555
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:30,458
-You have no idea.
556
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,805
-So, here we are.
The steak tartare.
557
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,666
And the roasted Cornish hen
for the gentleman.
558
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,514
[creepy tinkling]
559
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:42,676
Anything else?
560
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:46,889
Anything at all?
561
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,353
Please?
562
00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,939
-We’re good.
Thanks.
563
00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,861
-Everything looks delicious.
564
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,658
-You look delicious.
565
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,844
[car engine turns off]
566
00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:19,515
[dog barking in distance]
567
00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:23,759
-Ta-da!
568
00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:27,636
Two bedrooms; two baths;
gorgeous sunroom.
569
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,936
All living space on one level,
no finished basement.
570
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:32,901
-Finished basement
was on the list.
571
00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:36,191
-You don’t need one.
There’s tons of storage.
572
00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:38,936
Just picture yourself
in the space.
573
00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,699
Your couch, your photos
on the wall,
574
00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,912
your favorite meal cooking
in the fully functional,
575
00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:45,492
spacious kitchen.
576
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:47,907
Just picture the house
for what it could be
577
00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:50,076
with your undies
in the drawer.
578
00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:52,374
-Is the neighborhood safe?
579
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:55,419
-Of course.
You need to be safe.
580
00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:57,884
You need to be happy.
You need sunshine.
581
00:29:58,005 --> 00:30:00,555
But most of all, you need
to come home every night
582
00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:02,724
and close the door
against the world
583
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,720
in a house
that loves you back.
584
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,433
-We can afford
something fancier.
585
00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:10,557
-This point in your lives,
you don’t need to be house poor.
586
00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:12,354
You need to be life rich.
587
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:15,267
I mean, with this house
you can still afford fancy wines
588
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:16,977
and concert tickets;
589
00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:19,977
vacations somewhere warm and
impractical anniversary gifts.
590
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,570
[chuckling]
591
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:24,285
And all in a place
that feels like home.
592
00:30:26,450 --> 00:30:28,120
-I do kinda love it.
593
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:30,543
-[sighs]
It’s such a big decision.
594
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:34,042
-Hey, I can only find you the
house you were born to live in.
595
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,956
Can’t give you
the cojones to buy it.
596
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:40,088
[light jazz music playing]
597
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:41,973
-Well, and the place has been
in my family for generations.
598
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:43,551
It’s just simpler
599
00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:45,261
to keep the title
with the firm in Budapest.
600
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:47,261
You know,
tax purposes and all.
601
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:50,928
-And just like that
we’re back to talking business.
602
00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,192
-Okay.
603
00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:56,268
Let’s stop fighting it.
604
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:58,896
Let’s give in.
605
00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,737
-Well, I’m not going to give you
a hard sell here.
606
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,902
-What a relief.
607
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:08,525
I bet you can be
terribly persuasive.
608
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,157
-To the point
of irresistibility.
609
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:14,161
I’m just going to
tell you one thing:
610
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,883
You will never get
nearly as much
611
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,040
as my client is willing to pay
for your property right now.
612
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:22,461
Ever.
613
00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:24,880
-Ooh.
614
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,840
Never.
615
00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,637
That’s such a long time.
616
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,394
[creepy tinkling]
617
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,848
-Long...
618
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,944
time.
619
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:40,438
-Hey, Luke. So, I’ve got
-[mischievous score]
620
00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,105
good news
and bad news.
621
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,244
Uh, good news
is that the Dunn-Herberts
622
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:45,861
are no longer lookie-loos --
623
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,777
they’re buyers!
624
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,276
Bad news is, uh...
625
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:53,539
Yeah. It’s a Rita Weiss listing.
626
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,912
Hope we can still be friends!
’Kay, bye!
627
00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,789
Ooh.
628
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,458
[mischievous score fades out]
629
00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,877
[gentle score]
630
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,466
-August!
631
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:08,551
So, I’ve been reading up
on Hungarian legends.
632
00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:12,013
-Ah. The Budapest lawyer.
633
00:32:12,139 --> 00:32:13,469
-Exactly. What’s her name?
634
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,268
The-the lady that Luke’s
going out with?
635
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:17,022
-Bozer. Kay Bozer.
636
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,694
-Look at this.
-[book sliding on desk]
637
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,356
[score turns darker]
638
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:23,321
-Mm. Lovely.
639
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:25,112
-This is a Hungarian witch.
640
00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:27,205
Legend has it
that she has the power to fly,
641
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,110
or to transform herself
into a girl or woman of any age.
642
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,370
Men and boys
are helpless against her.
643
00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:34,913
Men and boys.
644
00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:37,576
-Yeah, I’ve seen that legend
in several cultures.
645
00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:39,286
-But the thing is,
she can only survive
646
00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:40,876
by soaking in the blood
of a living male
647
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:42,591
in the light
of a blood moon.
648
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,961
The blood moon recharges her
until the next one comes along.
649
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,625
-Oh, dear.
Those missing teenagers.
650
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,390
-Tonight is a blood moon.
The first in years.
651
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,388
-We need to warn Luke.
652
00:32:57,767 --> 00:32:59,767
-Guess what they call her
in Hungary?
653
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,519
Boszorkány.
654
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,317
-Bozer.
655
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,281
-Close enough.
656
00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:08,608
[score crescendos, fades out]
657
00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:13,949
-[dramatic boom]
-[urgent score]
658
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,578
They really shouldn’t play
Walking On Sunshine
659
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:17,953
when you’re on hold
with 9-1-1.
660
00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:19,619
-Try Luke again.
661
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,708
[dramatic boom]
662
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,384
[score turns sinister]
663
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,048
[turns car off]
664
00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,222
[phone buzzing]
665
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:38,889
-Come in for a nightcap.
666
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,557
[clicks off phone]
667
00:33:41,811 --> 00:33:43,731
-I’d love to.
668
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,230
[seatbelt clicks]
669
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,623
[glasses clinking]
670
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,249
[liquid pouring]
671
00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:15,854
-It’s Kékfrankos .
672
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,180
From Hungary.
673
00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,272
-[dramatic boom]
-[glasses clink]
674
00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:29,532
[dramatic boom]
675
00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:31,191
-Mm.
676
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,648
Spicy.
677
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,320
-(in Hungarian)
You have no idea.
678
00:34:38,868 --> 00:34:40,698
You know,
679
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:43,659
I’m very choosy
about men, Luke.
680
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,340
Boys, on the other hand.
681
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,050
On the other hand.
682
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,459
-Boys are a dime a dozen.
[echoing]
683
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:53,130
Dime a dozen.
684
00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,127
Boys are like wine
685
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,140
that just went into
the barrel.
686
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,852
Just went into
the barrel.
687
00:34:58,972 --> 00:35:00,682
They haven’t become complex...
688
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,387
complex, or interesting.
689
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:06,808
They’re just
an amalgam of chemicals...
690
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,478
[kiss]
691
00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:10,979
Hormones...
692
00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:13,859
testosterone.
693
00:35:14,738 --> 00:35:18,568
Boys are only good
for two things:
694
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:21,489
Keeping me young...
695
00:35:22,746 --> 00:35:25,326
and becoming men
like you.
696
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:28,709
-[high-pitched tone]
-Come.
697
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:54,437
-You know breaking and entering
is a crime.
698
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,279
-Heavens, yes!
A very serious crime.
699
00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:57,954
-Glad that’s
on your radar.
700
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,368
[door opens, closes]
701
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,374
[Kay speaking indistinctly]
702
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,619
[dramatic score continues]
703
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,554
[Kay speaking Hungarian]
704
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,758
[Kay speaking Hungarian]
705
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,563
[Kay speaking Hungarian]
706
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,897
-Luke!?
707
00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:36,071
[dramatic boom]
708
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:38,320
[creepy tinkling]
709
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:40,818
-Luke?
-[Luke] Hm...
710
00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,238
She needs the moonlight.
711
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:45,448
Block the moonlight
712
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:51,415
[Kay speaking Hungarian]
713
00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:56,089
-Auggie! Snap out of it.
Luke! Help Luke!
714
00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,764
[Phil yells]
715
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:03,435
[grunt]
716
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,768
[Kay speaking Hungarian]
717
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:12,687
[operatic choral singing]
718
00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,324
-[in Hungarian]
I’m waiting for you.
719
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,863
-[in Hungarian]
Keep waiting, Boszorkány.
720
00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:22,279
[shrieking]
721
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,657
[whooshing breath]
722
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,369
-[August]
Let’s get you out of here.
723
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,635
-[Kay] Where am I?
724
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,382
[wind blowing]
725
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,053
What’s-what’s going on?
726
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,631
-Oh.
-[dramatic score]
727
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:53,977
[burbling]
728
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,150
[burbling echoes]
729
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:08,326
-Yeah.
730
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,004
-I gotta be honest,
big guy...
731
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,214
she’s kinda old for you.
732
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,707
-Redheads.
733
00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:22,301
[dramatic score fades out]
734
00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,932
-[lively music]
-[lively conversations]
735
00:38:30,183 --> 00:38:32,183
[cheering]
736
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,100
[hooting, applause]
737
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:42,238
-Foot spray, spilt beer.
738
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,902
Smells like...
739
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:47,121
victory.
740
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,294
-Uh, let me know
when Susan gets here.
741
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,956
-Ha-ha, hi.
-There she is!
742
00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586
My only very slightly younger
743
00:38:59,712 --> 00:39:03,092
but not even a little
more attractive sister.
744
00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:05,176
-Uh-huh.
-Get her a drink!
745
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,549
-I will tell you
when to stop pouring.
746
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,890
-[others laughing]
-[Zooey] Thank you.
747
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,899
[coughing]
Um...
748
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,191
Uh, what is this?
749
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:20,935
-White wine shandy.
750
00:39:21,067 --> 00:39:22,567
[group laughing]
751
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,364
We add
elderflower liqueur to it.
752
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:28,158
It’s the official drink
of the "Listed Sisters"!
753
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:30,408
It’s our organized group
754
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:33,125
of powerful female
real estate agents
755
00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:36,366
that aren’t at all sad,
or trying too hard.
756
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:37,829
[others laughing]
757
00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:39,709
-Sign me up.
-Ah.
758
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:43,126
-Zooey, I love your nails!
Where do you get them done?
759
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,626
-I, uh...
do them myself. Um...
760
00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:48,088
-I’ve always wanted
to get my helix pierced
761
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,259
but I’m too scared.
762
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,389
-Ladies, ladies, relax.
You’ll all have
763
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:54,976
your "Zooey time."
764
00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,901
After all,
she’s one of us.
765
00:39:58,021 --> 00:40:01,691
-[others chanting]
One of us. One of us. One of us.
766
00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:03,476
[echoing] One of us.
767
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,070
One of us.
768
00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,454
One of us.
One of us.
769
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,622
-One of us. One of us.
-[distressed vocalizing]
770
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,252
-No!
Nooooo!
771
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,000
[crying]
772
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,496
-[spaghetti western music]
-Huh.
773
00:40:21,878 --> 00:40:23,548
-Oh-ho-ho...
774
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,800
Luke.
775
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,466
-[sucks teeth]
-Greg.
776
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,063
-Nice to see you again.
-You as well.
777
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,065
[country and western music]
778
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,807
[bowling ball
scattering pins]
779
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,609
-Wah, wah.
780
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,282
-Anywho...
781
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:49,820
-Are you okay?
-You get my messages?
782
00:40:49,948 --> 00:40:51,448
-I did! That’s great!
You took a client
783
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,284
that I never thought
would amount to anything
784
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:54,789
and you sold ’em a house!
785
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,541
-A Rita house.
-A Rita house
786
00:40:56,663 --> 00:40:58,333
that we’re still going to make
half commission on!
787
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:01,416
From zero to payday.
I am so proud of you.
788
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,751
-And all it cost
was my soul.
789
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:08,467
-It is a sale that us grownups
make every day.
790
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,343
You did good.
791
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,928
-Oh, and hey...
-[gentle score]
792
00:41:12,053 --> 00:41:13,683
you are going to love this.
793
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,722
I told Erik Toft that
the property he wanted to buy
794
00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:19,269
was the site of horrific murders
and bloodletting.
795
00:41:19,394 --> 00:41:21,194
Full disclosure,
you know.
796
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,772
And guess what he says...
797
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,607
-[laughing] No.
798
00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,822
-He says
an ITF regulation tennis court
799
00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:30,534
is the only proper way
to honor their memory.
800
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,875
So that sale
is gonna happen, too.
801
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,661
-Wow.
-Oh.
802
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,870
-Life is funny.
-You got that right.
803
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,843
You seen Susan?
804
00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:48,132
This is her event!
805
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,050
-Uh...
806
00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:53,216
No, actually.
807
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:00,275
-I have to go.
808
00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:03,942
I planned the event.
People are counting on me.
809
00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:07,113
-I’ve enjoyed having you here
these past few days.
810
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:08,653
We’ve bonded.
811
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,236
[door locks engaging]
812
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,821
-[dramatic boom]
-[lock engages]
813
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:13,406
-Unlock the door!
814
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,201
[descending tones
from smart home device]
815
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,874
Shut down security system.
816
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:19,695
-We’ve bonded, Susan.
817
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,249
-Unlock the door!
-Don’t go.
818
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,873
-House! Shut down--
819
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,040
[scraping, rumbling]
820
00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:29,298
House! Let me out!
821
00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:33,131
[screaming]
822
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,467
[dramatic boom]
823
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,734
[dramatic score fades out]
824
00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:44,604
-[smart home device chimes]
825
00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:46,269
-[gentle piano
playing in distance]
826
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,898
[gentle surf
in distance]
827
00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,324
[piano playing fades out]
828
00:42:56,449 --> 00:42:57,989
[fast, staccato piano music]
57954
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