All language subtitles for Superior Donuts (2017) - S02E15 - The Chicago Way (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)_track4_[eng]

Oh, thank God you're
relaxing your policy

on drinking in the shop.

(stammers)
That's a no.

Forget you ever saw this.

No, no, the health inspector
is coming today

and every year,
we do a little gift exchange.

I give him a bottle
of 18-year-old Scotch

and he gives me a passing grade
on my inspection.

Uh, that's an
expensive-looking bribe.

How unsanitary
is the kitchen?

No, no, no, no.

The kitchen's fine,
but they just keep putting in

these picky regulations that
have nothing to do with health.

So, I'm spending 200
and saving 2,000 on repairs.

The Chicago way, baby.

Anyway, I'm gonna leave
this bottle here

in case I'm out when,
uh, Phil comes by.

No, not-not... leave me out
of that stupid-ass bribe.

Why? How come?

'Cause these things
always end bad.

My pops used to make me run
a wire through the light pole

to get free electricity.

That explains the hair.

So, when the people
from the city came to bust him,

he made me
take the blame for it,

and they took me in
for questioning

and scared the hell out of me.

Bright side is dude in holding
gave me my first joint.

Well, look, you know,
I don't make the system.

I'm just trying to survive here.

But the regulations
are there for a reason.

If you don't follow them,

you end up with the drinking
water in Flint, Michigan.

Nobody drinks it.

It's just called water now.

FAWZ:
Well, I'm with Arthur.

Regulations are
killing business,

like with dry-cleaning
chemicals.

You take the good
with the bad.

A crisp, clean shirt,
some unexplained blindness.

Well, aside from
you two criminals,

there are plenty of people
who follow the rules.

Like me.

I spent all weekend scrubbing
every part of my dirty grill.

Oh, stop it.
That's not a metaphor.

It is now.

Hey, everybody.
Guess what?

I passed my exam.

I am officially a detective.

(all cheering)

Congratulations.
Congratulations.

Thank you.
Randy, that's amazing.

Yes, let's celebrate.

Tush, it's 10:00
in the morning.

Forget you ever saw this.

Now I just have
to wait and find out

what neighborhood
I'm assigned to.

There's some
pretty plum ones,

like the Gold Coast.
Mm-hmm.

And then there are
the armpits of the city.

You mean there are worse
assignments than Uptown?

No, I meant Uptown.

But hopefully I don't
have to worry about it.

I have this colleague who's
gonna help me get an assignment

that's not so murder-y.

You want a bottle of bourbon
to grease the wheels?

'Cause I guess that's how
things work around here now.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's, uh, that's Scotch.

The bourbon's
for the building inspector.

I'm looking
for an Arthur Prizzy...

Prizby... Arthur?

That's me!

Can I help you?
I'm Irene

from the Health Department.

I'm here to do the inspection.

Uh, where's Phil?

Phil's taking a leave
of absence. It's private.

Well, he's in a facility

in Minnesota.

It's Hazelton.
I shouldn't say any more.

It's rehab for booze.

Yes, I know.
I got it. I got it.

Hear that, Arty?
Old Phil's gone.

So, Irene, you want to
get to your inspection?

The kitchen's this way.

Hold on, hold on,
uh, hold on.

You know, when Phil was here,
we'd kind of ease into all that

and, uh, you know,
have a little small talk.

(chuckles) Catch up on his,
uh, Scottish friend.

Are you friendly
with the, uh, Scottish?

So, Irene, the
kitchen's this way.

If a sprinkle starts moving,
it's not a sprinkle.

ARTHUR:
Oh, hey, uh, fine.

You-you don't care
about the Scottish people?

How do you feel
about the 18-year-olds?

Is that how old
the coffeemaker is?

(laughs)

That came off as a joke
because I struggle with tone.

But if the coffeemaker
is any indication,

the kitchen is going
to be quite an adventure.

Here we go.

Oh, what the hell, kid?
I thought you were on my side.

There's a lot of stuff
around here that needs fixing.

All right? And this is
the only way you're gonna do it.

Yeah, we all need
to follow the rules.

Oh, that reminds me.

I have to go hose down
my grease trap.

I bet she does.
(laughs)

Oh, grow up.

*

Oh, boy, that
inspector lady's

writing a lot of stuff
on that clipboard.

Well, if you need
to burn the place down,

I know a guy who can arrange for
oily rags near a water heater

for a bottle of ouzo
and a leg of lamb.

I'll type up my report
and get it to you tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.

I would fax it,
but your fax machine is broken,

which isn't really
a health inspector thing,

but you should
get it fixed.

Nah, fixing stuff
is overrated.

My left hip's been
clicking for 20 years.

Sounds like I got a
woodpecker in my pocket.

But it still gets
the job done.

I have no depth perception
in this eye.

Why am I telling you this?

Shut up, Irene.

She's an odd duck.

We're gonna have
to fix a lot of stuff

if we don't figure out
what makes her quack.

Or maybe she's an honest person
who isn't bribable

and we have to do the work
to get up to code.

No. Everyone has their price and
I'll figure out what Irene's is.

Come on, man, there's still
stuff around here

that needs fixing.

You know, one of
your ceiling tiles

is a Doobie Brothers album.

Oh, so, you're
gonna volunteer

to fix whatever she
has on that list?

Absolutely.
What about the hairnet?

The health code requires
that all employees

must wear a hairnet.

Okay, well, hey, if-if
that's what it takes, cool.

You buy a box of hairnets,
I'll wear the hairnet.

Okay, fine. Fine.

Bam. How's it look?

Like you're wearing my maternity
underwear on your head.

This is so weird, man.

I-I feel like it's
sucking up all my swag.

I'm totes freaking out.

What's happening to you?
I don't know,

but I-I suddenly need
a pumpkin spice latte

and some yoga pants.

Damn. I'm becoming
a basic white lady.

I love basic
white ladies.

Sometimes when I
go to a wedding,

I'll grab a couple
glasses of rosé,

then ask the DJ
to play Maroon 5

and look for the nearest gal
screaming, "This is my jam!"

I still go home alone.

(laughs) So, what else is new
down in the Chicago PD?

I heard that Mercer got in
an accident and lost his hand.

Yeah, he's got a fake one now.

Oh.

The captain says we're not
supposed to say anything,

but we've been
asking him to open

a lot more pickle jars
than ever.

(laughs) You bastards.
(chuckles)

You know, I would've gone
with a ketchup bottle.

It needs more fine
motor skills.

(laughs) See?
It's this kind of thinking

that got you bumped up
to detective.

Speaking of, I was
at a Bulls game with Rostenko

and that Gold Coast assignment
is looking good for you.

Really?

That's great.

Thanks for putting
a word in, Ted.

Hey, us vets
got to stick together.

Yeah. I really appreciate it.

Speaking of which,

I need a favor.

There's this rookie,
Vanessa King,

who logged a complaint
about me with HR.

What?

We have HR?

Right? I was just
as shocked as you.

Anyway, look, I probably
made some stupid joke.

Can you talk to her?

Just tell her I'm an idiot.

Oh, don't worry about it.

She probably knows
you're an idiot.

(chuckles)
But, yeah, sure,
sure, sure.

I'll talk to her.

Ah, thanks
for having my back, R.D.

You're the best.
No problem.

I'm gonna go make
Mercer salute me.

Sometimes his hand
just flies right off.

(laughs)

(sighs)

So, what was that about?

Oh, my old supervisor
has a problem.

This female rookie
reported him to HR.

I'm gonna go
help him out.

Oh, reported him?

Like a sexual
harassment thing?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm sure she just misread
his lame sense of humor.

You know, that station is like
a middle school locker room.

You'd be surprised how many
times the conversation

turns to nuts and balls.

Well, maybe you should
find out what happened

before you decide
she misread something.

Sofia, it's complicated.

The police station is
not like an office job.

Well, I temped a few days
at Hewlett-Packard.

Those people are animals.

Well, sure
it's complicated.

It's always complicated.

It might be worth hearing
her out before you back him.

I'm not backing him.

I'm helping her.

I'm advising her

so that she can
survive that job.

Ugh, last night I watched

a House Hunters International
marathon

and, oh, that show
is like crack.

All right, basic white lady,
stop busting my chops.

Take that damn hairnet off.

Okay.

Hello, Irene.
I have your report.

I don't know how
you've gotten away

with not fixing these things
in the past.

Well, if you can answer that,

you'll also find out
why Phil's in rehab.

Thank you.

Damn, Irene,
you're thorough.

Eight pages?

Oh, I must've left the rest
in my bag.

It's okay, dude.
We'll handle it.

Don't worry about it.
(groans)

No. Everyone has
their price.

We just got to find hers.

(clears throat)
So, Irene, uh,

that's an interesting scarf
you've got there.

Do you like
scarves or travel

or counting money?

I try not to have too many
outside activities.

They interfere
with my seasonal depression.

Although I do enjoy
the theater.

One could say
I am a comedy buff.

Really?

She says we got to have
three new drains?

She's hilarious.

(chuckles)
You're hilarious.

Seriously, he's so funny
and charming.

Who?

Arthur.

He's delightful.
Is he married?

I did not see a ring.

What you mean? When you,
like, chop down a tree

and count how old it is?

I happen to have a thing
for experienced men.

Ugh.

She says we need new buckets.

You know what this is?
A bucket list.

(laughs)
Arthur.

You should be on stage.

Are you familiar with
The Second City comedy troupe?

They're a hoot.

I have an extra ticket
for this weekend.

Um, and Arthur
loves the theater.

No, I don't.
Yeah, you do.

Arthur, can I see you
in the kitchen, please?

Arthur, I found
her price-- you!

Really?
Yes.

She just asked you out.

So go, romance her.
Oh...

First of all,
you a ho.

And secondly, if you even
think about doing this,

you a old ho.

Oh, relax. I'm not gonna
go on a date with that woman.

And I'm not a ho.

It'll save you
thousands of dollars.

All right, I'm a ho.

Where the hell
have you been?

I thought you were...

Well, I thought you were, uh...
(clears throat)

Dead. He thought
you were dead.

No, I was out late,
so I slept through my alarm.

Right. So, uh,
how did your sleazy date

with the inspector lady go?

Actually, it was fun.
We went to that comedy show.

I don't like
those kind of places.

Too much improv.

You have to write things down
for it to be really funny.

What matters is not
that you had a good time,

but that she had
a good time.

Oh, no, she had
a great time.

We went to dinner,
and then went to the show.

Clothes stayed on.
(chuckles)

Or did they?
(laughs)

No, they stayed on.
(grunts)

FAWZ:
Good for you, Arthur.

I'm glad it went well.

Not me. I was hoping
you felt used and ashamed.

No. I enjoyed
Irene's company,

and she definitely
enjoyed mine. (chuckles)

So I think we can say
good-bye to this repair list.

Bye-bye.

Hey, y'all.

Hi, Randy.

Did you have your talk
with that rookie?

Oh, yeah, I did.

I think she really
appreciated my advice.

She just needs to learn
how to navigate the boys' club.

I was in a boys' club.

They used to make us
swim naked because

they didn't think
we'd wash our trunks.

Well, uh, what happened to you
was not okay.

But we'll-we'll talk
about that later.

So she was not being
sexually harassed?

It was just dirty jokes
and inappropriate comments.

Ted got drunk one night
and asked her out on a date.

I told her it'd be
better for her

if she just dropped
the whole thing.

Hmm. Wouldn't it
be better

if you encouraged her
to speak up?

You know, if she's
uncomfortable,

then that's a problem.

If I complained every time

some jackass
crossed the line at work,

I wouldn't have
lasted a month.

You got to have
thick skin.

Thick skin?

Why should she have to change?
Or you?

Why don't men change?

Hey, I don't want to, you know,
butt in or anything,

but it was like
I was telling Arthur,

just because you grew up
in a bad system

doesn't mean you have to
keep playing by their rules.
Yeah.

Well, I just think I've
had enough experience

to know when not
to make waves.

Please, Randy.

You ladies are
always making waves.

It's gotten to the point where
men can't say anything anymore.

You say horrible things
all the time.

Yeah. Think of the things
I keep to myself.

I thought you were a feminist.

No, I don't think
it's for me.

Don't talk to me about
being a feminist.

I was one of the first
women on that force,

in the trenches.

And I've been fighting
this fight

since before you were
even born.

As long as you keep playing
by the rules of the boys' club,

there's always going to be
a boys' club.

Not mine. Feds came in
and shut it down.

Not sure why.

I'm sure you've had to
put up with a lot,

but don't you want
to protect other women

from going through
the same thing?

I am protecting her.

And I don't need a lecture
on how to do it.

This is what I love
about America.

The men do something wrong,

and the women end up
fighting each other.

Hello, Arthur.

Irene. What brings you here?

Just checking to see
how much progress you've made

on your violations.

Progress? Violations?

I'm confused.
Why?

Well, I thought we had
a good time last night.

Yes, it was pleasant.

But what does that have to do
with addressing your violations?

Well, I thought that
our friendship persuaded you

to, uh, well,
you know, uh,

look the other way.

So going out with me
was a bribe?

No, no. No?

I'm gonna have to
report this to my supervisor.

What?!
No, hey, hey, come on.

It's out of my hands now.

Bribing a city official is
against the law.

That's rough.

Breakup and a felony
all in the same moment.

Been there, brother.

I promise I will never
leave you again.

Deluca. Hey.

You're ready
to go back, huh?

Looks like you're
a little rusty.

You only hit it once.

No, that's eight shots
through the same hole.

Whoa.
Yeah.

I know guns get
a bad rap,

but they're really fun.

Hey, you get a chance
to talk to Vanessa?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I did.

I think I got through to her.

She seemed to appreciate
my perspective.

Ah, thank you so much.

You can't even tell
a dirty joke these days

without worrying some
girl's gonna report you.

Well, it's not easy
being a woman on the force.

Yeah, but you got to
toughen up.

You know what you're
signing up for.

It's a boys' club.
That's never gonna change.

You've always known
how to roll with it.

Laugh about it, right?

Didn't mean I thought
it was funny.

What are you talking about?

The only reason I'd laugh
is because if I didn't,

you guys would ice me out.

Come on, those were
good times.

We'd go down to Murphy's,
throw back some whiskey,

toss some darts.

Of course, if we did it
the other way around,

O'Connor would still
have both eyes.

Right. Darts.

And then, after
a few rounds,

you'd decide to teach me
how to throw properly.

Which meant you'd put
your arms around me.

We were just having fun.
No, Ted.

You were having fun.

I didn't love your stories
of your gross one-night stands,

your backrubs.

Didn't seem to have
a problem with it then.

Oh, I did.

But I had a kid,

and I couldn't afford
to lose that job.

And then when I would
say something to you,

you guys would call me
a bitch behind my back.

Yeah, I don't remember it
like that, so...

That's convenient.

Considering you were
doing it constantly.

Well, no more.

I'm going to HR.

I'm backing Vanessa.

Now, you've got to be
kidding me.
Mm-mm.

No, I'm not.

Well, if I'm
such a bad guy,

guess you won't be needing
my recommendation.

Okay, the repairs
are done.

That's 2,000 bucks
down the brand-new drain.

Thanks a lot, kid.

I told you, man, you
don't play by the rules,

it'll bite you in the ass,
just like last night's

episode of The Bachelor.

There's a reason why Brittany
didn't get that rose.

Yeah, she put out.

And sluts get cut.

ARTHUR: Well, it's
Detective Deluca.

How's that cush new
assignment on the Gold Coast?

Yeah, about that.

I, uh, took some advice
from a friend of mine

and decided to go to HR
and back Vanessa.

Really?
Yeah.

I used to think it was better
to not rock the boat,

but now I think it's time
to blow that ship

right out of the water.

Yes! That's awesome.

And look, I...
I really admire you

and all that
you fought for.

You had to deal
with a lot of crap.

Yeah.

Including my new assignment.

Let me guess.
(blows raspberry)

Uptown?

Yep. Turns out Ted
really knows how

to put the "dick"
in "vindictive."

But, they scheduled
a hearing

for Ted and Vanessa
for next week,

so he knows where
HR is now.

Arthur Priza...
Prizbazu...

Arthur?

Yeah, it's me.

Yeah, I'm Craig Trevino, City
of Chicago Health Department.

Okay, before you say anything,

I fixed everything
on that list.

Plus, she asked me out.
Hashbrown "me, too."

You bribed a city official.

Even if you fix
the violations,

there's still the matter
of the fine.

The fine?

Well, that's
what you get

for trying to
cheat the system.

Bet you never
do that again.
(stammers)

That's 1,000 bucks.

Look, I don't make
the rules, okay?

I'm just a guy
trying to do his job,

make it to the end of the day

so I can go home, relax,
and have a drink.

A nice drink.

I'm sure you understand.

I think I do.

Yeah, it's great to
kick back with a... Scotch?

As long as it's
old enough to vote.

Something like this?

It was in the
lost and found.

Oh, I've been looking for you.

Seriously?
Y'all some hos.

Oh, come on, face it, kid,
that's just the way it works.

You can't change
the system.

The Chicago way, baby!

Unbelievable.

I can't even.
I'm just gonna go home,

and run a hot bath and
play some Ed Sheeran.

Oh, my God!

Get this thing off of me!

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