All language subtitles for Superior Donuts (2017) - S02E13 - Father, Son, and Holy Goats (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)_track4_[eng]

Hey, Arthur.

Here's your vendor packet
for the Uptown Winter Festival.

Look, for the last time, I'm
not doing your stupid festival.

Fine. I'll just put
the port-a-potties

right in front of your store.

I don't care.

And the petting zoo.

That's fine with me.

And the Uptown Mime Troupe.

No, no! Not that.

All right,
I'll do your stupid fair.

I hate those silent freaks.

Now, as president
of the Uptown Business Council,

I just want to help out the
merchants and have a little fun.

FAWZ:
Excuse me.

Under my reign as president,
we had all kinds of fun.

Yeah, I don't know what the
neighborhood kids enjoyed more,

when you made them paint
the side of your building,

or when you had them
clean your gutters.

I'd say gutters.

Remember,
I pulled out the ladder

and they thought
they couldn't get down? (laughs)

(phone chimes)

Oh, no.

The petting zoo guy
just backed out.

He got a Renaissance fair.

Hmm, ye olde shaft job.

Well, lucky for you,
I have an uncle that has a farm

out near DeKalb.

I could have him ship
a few animals up here.

The goats are quite gentle,
except for Doug.

He's the reason I have
nine and a half toes.

Here it comes.

Yep. He bit off
one and a half toes.

Because he had eleven.

Because I had eleven.

Thanks, Tush.
You're a lifesaver.

If you're looking for music,

I know where you can find
a dikka-dikka-DJ.

Tell you what, Sweatpants.
If it gets down to the wire,

and I can't find anybody else,

and I get really, really
desperate, you can do it.

Sweet. Being someone's
last resort is my jam.

ARTHUR:
Oh, come on.

Are you kidding?
I-I got a put up a booth?

Chill out.
We can rent a tent.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm not
gonna waste money on a tent.

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I got an old one that we can use
down in the basement.

Run down there, get it.

No, I'm not going
to your scary-ass basement, man.

You got rats and cobwebs

and nude photos
from your honeymoon and...

It just... it looks like you're
holding a porcupine on your lap.

You know, Arthur,
between this festival

and that scary basement,

it sounds like you could use
a little bit of help this week,

and my son happens to be in the
market for some temporary work.

Is this the one who got
kicked out of college?

He wasn't kicked out.

He took a semester off
to find himself.

Five semesters ago.

You know, Fawz, maybe he's just
not cut out for college.

Bite your tongue, goat herder.

I came to this country

so my children
could have better lives.

Abdullah is gonna get an
education and become a banker.

Or maybe he'll go
into real estate with me.

He could be the Eric Trump
to my Donald.

Listen, he won't accomplish

any of this unless he learns
the value of hard work.

Why don't you just give him
a job at your dry cleaners?

Oh, no, those chemicals
are toxic.

I would never let
someone I love work there.

Didn't you hire
your mother-in-law?

Yes, she works a double shift.

I'm sorry, Fawz, I'm not gonna
hire some kid whose father says

he's shiftless,
aimless and lazy.

I'll pay his salary.

This will be his apron.

Thank you, Arthur.

Franco, you're gonna be
a good influence on my son.

You're focused, dedicated and
you have an amazing work ethic.

For a black guy?

No.

For any minority.

Seriously, Franco, you are
working and going to college.

You are gonna be
a good role model for him.

All right, well, hey, just know,

college ain't
for everybody, okay?

But be pretty cool
to take on a little apprentice.

You know? Teach him
the value of hard work.

Make him go down
in that basement.

What? That-that never
crossed my mind. I don't...

All right, Fawz,
he can start tomorrow.

Don't make me regret this.

Oh, it's only gonna be a week.
How bad could it be?

That's exactly what
I said to my uncle

when he asked me to
watch Doug, and now...

All his left shoes are loose.

...all my left shoes
are loose.

*

Arthur, allow me
to introduce my son,

Abdullah Farooq Al-Shahrani.

I'll just call you Scott.

My friends call me Abe.

Eh, whatever.

Hey.
Hi.

Remember what we talked about,
eye contact.

No slouching. And smile.

Too big. Too small.

Just right.

Okay, Dad, you can leave now.
I'm gonna be fine.

Uh, yes, yes, of course.

Um, you're on your own.
Uh, have a great day at work.

Tell me how he's doing.

I don't want to hover.

What up? I'm Franco, man.
What's up?

ARTHUR: Yeah, he's gonna show
you the ropes around here.

It's not as easy
as it looks.

Someone gives you money,
you give them a donut.

If they don't give you money,
you do not give them a donut.

Well, thank you for reducing
my life's work to two sentences.

You're welcome.

Hey there, Abe.

I'm Tush.

I'm sure Papa Bear
told you all about me.

He's real?

I thought you, like, made
him up as a cautionary tale.

Did you really live in a van
under a bridge?

I did live in a van.
I did live under a bridge.

But not at the same time.

So it's not
nearly as sad.

Hi, I'm Randy.

I'm female, so your father's
probably never told you

anything about me.
Not true.

He can't stop talking about the
beautiful young food truck lady.

(laughs) Oh!

Well, I-I don't know
about the food truck part,

but, uh, thanks.

Okay, Abe. Come on,
let's get you started.

Mop the kitchen floor.

FAWZ:
That's right.

Teach him what hard work
is all about.

Ha, ha.

Then it's back to college, MBA,
trophy wife, lake house,

beach house,
massive heart attack, die happy!

Fawz, do you realize
that people can be happy

without making
a lot of money?

Uh, no.

In my country, I had nothing,
I was miserable.

I came to this country, I was
successful, and now I'm happy!

That's what I want for my son.

(loud clattering)
Hey! What the hell?

Franco, get in there.
It could be a teachable moment.

You knocked down
the mixing bowl.

Oh, sorry. I was
just into my music.

I see. All right.

Okay, so you-you're just
gonna mop dry? All right.

Okay, uh...

Where's the water and soap?

Is that part of this?

Man, give me that.

Maybe minimize on
all the distractions

until you get
the hang of it.

What you listening to?

Oh, just, um,
a track that I made.

Really? You make beats?

Yeah.
Let me see.

Oh!

Oh, damn!

Yo!

(chuckles):
This...

This is fire!

Oh. Oh.

I can see how
that happened.

Yo, this is pretty good.

You ever think
about being a DJ?

It's all I ever think about,
ever since I was a kid.

But that'll never fly
with my dad.

He's got his own plan for me.

I heard.

I'm supposed to be in here
trying to get you to go

back to school
and have a heart attack, but...

Which reminds me.

Damn it, Abdullah,
go back to college!

Don't go back to college.

You know, listen,

parents don't know everything.

If I listened to my dad,
I wouldn't be an artist.

You're an artist?

Yeah. My dad didn't think
I had what it takes.

Didn't think I would make it.
"You can't make art, Franco.

You can't even make rent."
(imitates laugh)

Look at me now.

Look at me.

Look-- not the mop and bucket.

Yo, I'd love to be a DJ.

But where do I start?

You know, one of my friends is
DJing at Public Domain tonight.

We can pop by there,
and after a set,

he can give you some advice.

Oh, cool.

You know what? Drinks are on me.

I've got my dad's credit card.

Well, in that case,

maybe we can, uh, pick up
something to eat. (laughs)

Maybe some dessert.
(laughs)

Pay off my student loans.
(laughs)

I'm just playing,
I don't want dessert.

ARTHUR: Well, look
who's five minutes late.

The late guy and the guy
who's supposed to be teaching

the late guy to work.

That... that's my bad.

We were at a club
last night,

and we ain't get home
till about 4:00.

So you were out drinking hooch
on a work night?

Hooch? Were you celebrating
the end of Prohibition?

You're funny. You should
come with us next time.

Don't forget your I.D.

I won't.

We weren't partying,
we were networking.

I introduced Abe to
a producer friend of mine

who thinks he has
what it takes to be a...

(whispers):
DJ.

I heard that!

Franco, you're supposed to be
encouraging him

to go back to college.

Dad, I'm not
going to college.

What?

I'm putting everything I got
into being a DJ.

Yeah, look, your
son's not lazy.

You just haven't allowed him to
do the thing he wants to do.

Damn it, Abdullah.

I did not come to this country
clinging to the landing gear

of a 747 so you could play
records for drunk people!

That's how you got here?

No. But it was
a middle seat.

Abdullah, listen to me.

If you are serious about
not going to college...

I am.

Well, then,
you're cut off.

No allowance, no BMW,
no place to live.

And you're fired
from this job.

You can't fire him.
He works for me.

Well, I'm no longer
paying his salary.

Abe, you're fired.

What?
You were paying my salary?

So you think I'm useless?

Not useless.
More like shiftless.

Eh-- dude.

Your son wants to be a DJ.

He's got the talent,
and he's got the drive.

And I could stay with Franco
until I get back on my feet.

Yeah. What-what? What was that?

Come on, man, just
for a couple days.

You're the one
who inspired me.

I guess I did.

All right.
Stay as long as you like.

Thanks, man. I'll go
home and get my stuff.

You are gonna regret
meddling in my family business.

And to think,
I learned your name.

Well, you couldn't call me
"the black guy" forever.

Oh, yeah?

Tell that to the brown guy,
the gay guy,

and the "could be Asian,
could be Puerto Rican guy."

Okay, uh-uh, Franco.

Since you screwed this
thing up with the kid,

I got a list of stuff
that you get to do today.

All right. Well, even though
it's more work for me,

I'm happy supporting
a fellow artist.

All right, "Number one:
Get the tent from basement."

Come on, man!
Do I have to?

Read number two.

"Yes, you big-ass baby."
Come on, man.
(laughs)

This winter festival
is a nightmare.

The hot chocolate truck
ran out of marshmallows,

and the Jell-O shot girl
went to rehab.

But at least the petting zoo
is still good, right?

Oh, yeah.

(laughs): I have a
hilarious chicken

and a duck with
so much personality.

But I had a little snag
with the goat.

What?

Well, the only one that
was available was Doug.

The toe-biter.

So I told my uncle
not to bring him.

Tush, the festival's
tomorrow,

and if you don't cough up
a four-legged friend,

that toe-eating goat will be
the least of your worries!

Yes, ma'am. I'm g-gonna
make a few phone calls.

Okay.

You know, I think
I have a solution

to your little
entertainment issue.

You know, Fawz's son
is an amazing DJ.

Excuse me. She already has a DJ.

She said I could do it.

Oh, I said you could do it
if I was desperate.

You seem pretty
desperate to me.

And trust me, I know what
a desperate woman looks like.

Sweatpants, you already
have a damn job.

And Abe is an actual DJ
with actual equipment,

who makes actual music

and doesn't just make noises
with his mouth.

So you can make art
with your hands,

but I can't make music
with my mouth?

That's body shaming.

Sofia, look, Abe could
really use this gig.

It could prove to his dad
that music is real for him.

(sighs)
Fine, he can do it.

But if he's no good,
I'm throwing a fleece on him

and putting him
in the petting zoo.

Okay, hey, cool, cool with me.

I'm gonna tell Abe to hurry up
and put a set together.

He's gonna be so pumped.
W-Wait a minute.

Why are you pushing
this Abe, huh?

You know Fawz doesn't
want him to be a DJ.

That's why I'm
pushing him.

I know what it's like to have
somebody crush your dreams.

Yeah? Me, too.

By the way,

I have a air horn
that Abe can't use.

(imitates air horn)

Now I know why
you're doing this.

Fawz doesn't
believe in Abe,

just like your father
didn't believe in you.

Okay, maybe.

What's so wrong
with that?

No, nothing.

It's nice that you want
to encourage a young you.

But what if
he's not a you?

What you talking about?

You worked hard for
everything you've got,

and I'm pretty sure
that Abe has not.

I-I just want to make sure

that you're not backing
the wrong horse.

I say this as a guy
that lost a lot of money

backing the wrong horse.

Look, relax. Okay?

I think people are gonna
be surprised by Abe.

Okay, I know an anaconda
is not furry,

but do you think Sofia'd be okay

if it has a raccoon and
three squirrels inside of it?

(The Price is Right theme music
playing on TV)

Yo. Yo.

Uh, what's up?

Just watching
Price is Right, baby.

This lady,

she just won a lifetime supply
of Swiffer WetJets.

Well, you know that, uh,
the festival's tomorrow?

I told Sofia you'll be
bringing some heat.

So, uh, let's see what you got.

Now?

Okay, all right.
(TV turns off)

Well, um, I was working on this.
Check it out.

(dance music playing)

That's the same song
you played me in the shop.

Oh. Right.
Yeah, you heard that one.

Yeah.
Cool.

Well, um... Well, here's
something fresh out the lab.

I haven't really
recorded it yet, you know,

but it-it goes, it goes
something like, it goes, like...

(vocalizing The Price is Right
theme music)

(clears throat)

(singing along)

That's The Price Is Right
theme song.

So you've been here all day,
and this is all you got?

Inspiration is
a fickle mistress, right?

You only got one song, man.

I thought you wanted to be
a DJ since you were a kid.

It's just, it's really hard
with my dad, okay?

Do you know what it's like to
live with someone that negative?

Yes! Yeah, I do!

My pops wouldn't buy me art
supplies, so I had to improvise.

I had to paint
on walls and trains,

a really pale homeless dude
I thought was a statue.

You want to know why?

Because I had to paint.
I had ideas pouring out of me.

And you should, too.

You need to chill, bro.

All this yelling isn't helping
my creative process.

I vouched for you.

And now you want
to make me look bad?

Huh?

Come on. You know...

You know, why
don't you just...

sit your lazy ass down
on your own damn couch

and watch game shows
in your own damn house.

Fine, I will.

At least there my mom
makes me pizza rolls.

Your fridge is empty as hell.
Get out!

Arthur, what's up
with your booth?

It's just a lame-ass card table.

What? I told you
to get the tent.

No, man.
I saw Get Out.

I'm not going in no
white dude's basement.

Oh, come on,
it's not that scary.

Here, you're gonna need this.

Well, is the lights out?

No, it's for protection.
Here, take this.

You make a cross.

Oh, Tush, I just checked out
the petting zoo.

It's a chicken, a duck, and a
pigeon who's trying to blend in.

I know. I'm sorry.

I just unloaded Doug
out of my uncle's truck.

But then he locked
eyes with me,

and then he started
moving his lips

like he was
mumbling something.

And I panicked.

So I stashed him
in a safe place.

Where?
Arthur's basement.

What?!

You put a goat in my basement?

Oh-oh-oh,
somebody better warn...

(Franco screams)

...Franco.

Arthur, you weren't
joking about the rat.

I saw it. I saw
the king rat.

It was big, it was white,
it had horns.
It's not a rat.

Yeah, it was like the rat
and the devil had a baby.

Oh! Oh! Somebody
call a pastor!

Calm down, calm down.

Oh, no. And it ate
your flashlight.

We got to go!
Everybody, get your things!

It's not a rat! It's a goat!

Oh, thank God.

Why is there a goat
in the basement?

Uh, it's Tush's.
That's Doug.

He's scary, right?

Yeah, when I thought
he was a rat.

Now that he's a goat,
he's kind of cute.

Cute! That's exactly
what that petting zoo needs.

Come on, Tush.

I really need that goat.

Tush, you can do this.

Face your fears.

Grab 'em by the horns!

I can do this.
Yeah.

I ain't afraid of no goats.

Morning, Franco.

How are you and Abe,
who is dead to me, doing?

We had a big fight last night
and I kicked his ass out.

What? He's missing?

Someone call 911!

Calm down. He'll be fine.

He's resourceful,
he's smart.

And I'm not just saying that
because he thinks I'm young.

And hot.

Okay, I threw in the "hot."

Fine. I'm gonna
go call the FBI.

So now I don't have a DJ?

(imitates air horn)

Seriously! I don't have a DJ?

Don't fight it, Sofia.
I'm all you got left.

Embrace the Sweaty P.

Oh, that better be his DJ name.

So I guess it didn't
work out with Abe?

Yeah. I mean, maybe you
were right. He's just lazy.

Well, the FBI
wasn't much help.

When they heard my name,

they transferred me
to Homeland Security.

Now I need a new phone.

Abe, there you are.
Are you okay?
I'm great.

A little tired,
but I was up all night.
What happened?

Well, after Franco kicked me
out, I was just walking around.

Then I started thinking
about the festival

and the kind of set
I would've done.

Then I got this idea,
and it all started flowing.

And now I have a 90-minute set.

You actually made music?

And not just
The Price is Right theme?

Fine, an 80-minute set.
Thanks, man.

You really gave me the kick
in the ass that I needed.

I feel so awesome right now!
Well, congratulations,

but, look, you might want
to get out there before, uh...

Yo, who's ready for
an earful of Sweaty P?!

Go! Go! Go!

(laughs) Well, you really
lit a fire under him, huh?

Good going, kid.

Why are you so excited?
This is terrible.

Now he's really gonna be a DJ
and never go back to college.

Fawz, you have to let your son
find his own way.

That's not how we do things.

Oh, really?

I remember hearing about
a young man from Iraq

who defied his father
to come to America

so that he could own his own
dry cleaners and travel agency.

And one-eighth of a Quiznos.

It's me, right?

All that's what
you wanted.

Look at him.

Now he's found
what he wants,

and he's having
the time of his life.

That is the happiest I've seen
Abdullah in a long, long time.

I just don't want him to be poor
the rest of his life.

You know, DJs in Vegas
make $1 million a night.

Did you say $1 million?

ABE: How you feeling,
party people?

Put your hands
up in the air!
(dance music playing)

What's wrong with you,
party people?

My son said put your hands
up in the air!

Put your hands up in the air!

You, too, beanie!
Up, up, up!

You did good, kid.

Okay, Doug, just like
we talked about.

Oh, no, he's looking at my toes.

He's looking at my toes.

Uh... that's not what I saw
in the basement.

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