All language subtitles for Kholop 2

(company on bridge)
-Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Katya! Katya! Katya!

(shouting merrily)

(cork pops)

-Hey, upstairs!

-Come on, man, don't get stuffy!
It's my birthday!

-What are you doing? There's people here!
-Want some champagne?

Guys, give the athletes a drink!

-What are you guys, nuts?

I'll be right up!
-You're boring!

Come on, take a salute in my honor!

(chanting)
-Katya! Katya! Katya!

-Hello, young people!

Hello, I say, young people.
-Hello.

-What are we hooliganizing? Who was shooting?

-Я! Arrest me, Comrade Officer!

-Ah, you're, like, the cockiest one here?
Come on, let's go for a walk.

-Oh, your arms are so strong! -Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes, let's go.

-Guys, let's stay together,
meet me on the terrace in an hour!

Oh, you're on a boat, too?

Topchick, what. You want to go for a ride?
-Of course, baby. Anything for you.

Come on, be careful.

-Let's sit down.
-Do you have anything to drink on your boat?

-Now we'll get to the cell, there's a mini-bar,
hammam, karaoke, everything. Just be patient.

Ivanovich, there's a hooligan
there's a hooligan on the Blue Bridge...

(energetic music)

-Halt!

-Are you retarded?

(The Hatters - "No Rules")

(police, on loudspeaker)
-Stop right now!

I order you, kill the engine!

(police siren)

Cover her! Cover her! Block it!

-Down, down, down!

(Katya)
-Oops!

(police siren)

-Did you have a nice ride, girl? -Yeah.
Get out, we're here.

-Shh, shh, shh. Get your hands off me!
I'm actually a victim, too.

-Guys, knit her up.
-Come here.

(TV announcer)
-Today, the daughter of a federal official

hit a summer cafe
in St. Petersburg.

The accident was miraculously without casualties.

-How many stories we've seen
about spoiled majors!

They got away with it.
We thought there was nothing we could do about them.

But that was before the Ekaterina Novikova case.
Good evening!

You hold a high office.

Tell me, was there any temptation
to interfere in any way with your daughter's case?

-High office
is first and foremost a responsibility,

not a privilege.

A crime has been committed.
So there will be punishment.

(audience applause)

-The theft of a watercraft,
resisting police, hooliganism,

willful destruction of property
in a generally dangerous manner.

-I'm very embarrassed.

I'm prepared to suffer any punishment.

-Based on the foregoing.
the court rules:

to find Yekaterina Sergeevna Novikova
guilty

and impose a sentence
imprisonment

for a period of two years

with serving time in a correctional colony
general regime.

(journalists)
-Tatiana Vasilyevna, may I ask you a question?

-Tell me what you're feeling right now.
-Tatiana Vasilyevna!

-It's very hard for me as a mother right now.

Two years in prison.

But that's fair.
My daughter committed a crime,

and she should be punished.

-So your daughter
will be serving real time?

-The law is the same for everyone.

She'll be in jail.

-Look!

Oh, look, a cow!

Can you get me some milk out of it later?
-Yeah, I will.

-Oh, the local disco.
Uh-huh.

-Water treatments!

Just what you need.
Uh-huh.

(coachman)
-Stop, stop!

-Welcome, dear guests.
-Hello.

-Welcome your baggage.

Come on in.

Welcome!
-Class!

-This is where we have the oven.

Here's the cot. It's soft!

The viands are on the table.

There's a torch. The torch is next to it.
If there is anything unclear, we will advise you.

-What about water? Isn't there running water?
-You're insulting me! -You're insulting me!

The caddy is 20 liters! Key water.

I'd like your cell phones, please.
-Ah, yes.

(knocking on window)

-Hello, Pavel Sergeyevich!
-To what do we owe you?

Oh, that's me on automatic. What's wrong?

-I got the numbers from last month,
here's what happened.

Are we an eco-hotel
or a charitable organization?

Why the fuck are we operating at a loss?

-My bad. Oh, uh, sorry.

Yeah, we're a little short on guests.
And we don't have anything new to offer.

And the second time to walk around in laptops.
people don't come.

-Why aren't we offering anything new?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why am I even talking to you?

Where's the manager?

-Grigory Pavlovich has left.

Dubai.
-How did you leave?

(music from the opera Carmen)

-Goosey, lapti,

radishes,

the kingpin,

malahay.

Do you know what a malakhai is?

-What? -The Taj Mahal?

-It's a winter hat.

That's the hat I sometimes wear to VIP clients.

In a malakhay.

And, pay attention...

Attention! In a zipun.

...And my dad says it's just a job.
That's the business.

And you have to learn to get a high out of it.

How can you get high in a zippo?

I feel like
like I'm not living a real life,

but stuck in the past forever.

-Grisha, you're annoying!
Did you come here to whine?

Why don't we hang out?

-I don't feel like it.

-What do you mean, you don't want to?
Why did you bring me here?

-I'm asking myself that question too.

(cell phone ringing)

Oops.

Uh, hello?

(Dad)
-Grisha, where the fuck are you?

-please.

Good afternoon. Welcome.
-Hello. Ouch!

-Are you all right?

(drunken voice)
-Me?

I'm flying a jet for fifty euros.
I'm fine.

What about you?

While you're thinking about it, why don't you go get me a Prosecco?

All right!

Dear rich people!

Thick-skinned and thick-skinned.

Listen, I have an idea.

Nobody wants to go back
from Dubai to this Russia of ours?

So let's not fly.

Here we go...

to Paris! We'll eat oysters.

You got it?

Unanimous!

Ouch!

Mashul, come on,
you can't sneak up on me like that.

Well, bring a new one.

It's not the last one.

Alexei! Alyoshenka!

Change course to Paris! All in favor.

Nobody wants to go back
from Dubai to this Russia of ours?

So let's not fly.
-And what?

-What do you mean "what," Dad? That's the girl
who hit the restaurant.

She almost killed me!

There was a trial, she sat down - sort of.

You don't resent that?
-I resent that you're losing business! -I resent that you're losing business!

He pinned it all on that redhead,
and he flew off to warm his cockles.

-Dad, that's not what I'm talking about.
-That's what I'm talking about.

What are you gonna live on, anyway?
I'm shutting down the village.

-How do you close it?
-I bought a palace!

А?
-Did you buy it?

-Well, rented.

For 200 years.

It's going to be a hotel, a historic hotel.

Marble, stucco, gilding--
all native, all real.

The people who come here
will feel like nobility!

Like aristocrats! White bone!

-Mm-hmm, I see.

-Original parquet from the 19th century.
The chandelier is 18th.

I'll have numbers here:

"Tsarsky", "Imperial", "Rasputinsky".

For large companies.

-Have you made up your mind about the village?

-You're upset, aren't you?

-Well, now that we're closing,
why don't we do a project in there?

-What project?
-Our project. Correctional.

Let's rehabilitate that little brat.
Three days of whipping will bring her to her senses in no time.

-You know who should be whipped? -You know who should be whipped? You!
To bring you to your senses.

We shut down those projects a long time ago!

And you're willing to do whatever the hell you want,
as long as you don't have to work.

-It's a shame. I liked it here.
I got used to it. It's all because of you.

-To look for a job again.

-Come on, stop whining.

I have an idea. Here, look.

-And Carabas-Barabas is left with a nose!

Ha ha ha!

-Hi, hi!
-Ay!

-Ho-ho-ho-ho! Hi!

You okay in here?

-And the dog is happy...

-Happier.
-And your dog is happy!

-Okay, cut.

-Today, the daughter of a federal official

has made a hit-and-run
on a summer cafe in St. Petersburg.

The accident was miraculously without casualties.

-Well, what do you think?

-No, that's great.
Do you have the money for all this?

-Don't worry about it. Money's not a problem.

(recording)
-Let's go to Paris! Let's eat oysters.

Adopted? Unanimous!

-How much do you want for this video?

-Not at all.

I didn't come here to blackmail you.

I'm here to help.

- "Help"?
-Yes. -I've been in a similar situation myself.

I know exactly how you feel.

You do realize
that prison isn't going to fix your daughter.

You got her off, you fooled everybody.

But you don't understand how you're supposed to go on.

You don't like
what your daughter has become.

You're looking for--
-My daughter is fine.

-А?
-She's a normal girl.

Just like everyone else.

-But she committed a crime.

-So what?

Is our meeting over?

The door's that way.

-How much will you pay me for this video?

-What's the food like?

-Normal.

Bad. Unpalatable.

-It's your own fault.

She deserves it.

-Okay, Mom. It's good to see you.
I gotta get back to my cell.

(whispering)
-To the barracks.

-Okay, Mom. It's good to see you.
I gotta get back to the barracks.

-Have we had enough?
-That's enough, that's enough.

We've already watered a full meter.

Don't worry, we're gonna edit it
and put it on all the channels.

-And publics.
-Naturally.

-Couldn't you fly in peace?
Without attracting attention.

-Mom, I didn't have to come at all. -Mom.
You need this horse-and-carriage circus.

-Do you want me?
Why don't you stay and sit?

-I can't, I'm late for my manicure. -I can't.

-You could at least say thank you.

-What for?

(flat tire pops)

-Girl, is there a problem?
-Hello. -Hello. Oh, shit, I got a piercing.

-Let me see?
-Thank you very much.

(mysterious music)

-All right, we're going to go with the old
tried-and-true pattern.

She's a serf
to an abusive landlord. That's you.

You are the spoiled children of this landowner.
Your job is to make her life unbearable.

You can do it. I know you can.

And you're gonna be making
in a dirty way all the time.

And you're a simple stable boy,
you'll protect her.

She'll fall in love with you.

Because of jealousy, you'll give him up as a soldier.

To save you,
she will marry you,

and you'll run away together. That's it!

-What am I supposed to do?

-And you. act on the situation.
-Yeah.

-A feat? I mean, at the end of the project.
at the end of the project.

-Yes.
-Well, I told you she'd marry you. -Yes.

Isn't that a feat?

All right, let's get to work!

(man)
-Hey!

Hey!

You awake, daughter of the dog?

Come on, get up, stop lying on your side.

-Ugh, you're so mean.

-I said get up! It'll be worse!

-Oh, man, it stinks!

-Barin told me to send you to work.

-Work?

Me?

А...

I got it.

It's a hallucination.

Okay, lie down.

Stay down until it goes away.

-What are we doing? What's the plan?

-If she won't get up on her own.
pull her up by her leg.

No, better yet, by the hair.

-I can't do that. She's a girl.
I have a daughter her age.

-She's not a girl, she's a monster.

Okay, let's do it then...
-Grisha, where's the author?

And the script in print?

-Why do you need a script,
I told you everything.

-And the lines and.

-Improvise, you're actors.

-Hey, aren't we a little short on extras? -No.
Two cripples walking around the village.

And anyway, what kind of a gentleman am I without a shower?

-Where's the psychologist?
Who's in charge, you?

-Why?

-So, I'll be right there.

-What's that hoodie?

-Do we even have a client?
Her mom gave her money for the project?

-Mom had a problem. But it doesn't matter.

I've got money. For the first time.

-For the first time, how long?

-What's that hole?

-I got it covered, guys.

Let's not waste time, let's do something!
Otherwise they'll start looking for her.

(all)
-Search?

-So her mom doesn't even know?
-Did we steal a man?

-This...
-It's an article!

-That depends on how you look at it.
-Grisha, what have you gotten us into?

-Guys, I can explain.

-I'm not a part of this.

(Katya)
-Hey!

Hey!

-You can't start a project
just because you feel like it!

-What's "want" got to do with it?
It's an injustice!

She almost killed me! And she didn't sit down.

-She's not sitting down, but we are! -We are!
-That's right.

-What's this got to do with us?
-Collaboration!

-No, I'm not ready.
-Neither am I.

-Who's going to ask you?
They'll put you in jail, and that's it!

(voices whispering)
-What do we do?

-Come on, come on, move your heels.

-Woman!

(quietly) -What do I do?
-I don't know, let's go.

-Look, where am I?

What's going on?

Oh, wait a minute!

-Why are you swimming?

Are we a team or not?

Actually, I was counting on you!

-Oh, where is she? -Oh, where is she?

(restless music)

-Ah! -Let go!

-Where are you going?
-Grandpa, are you out of your mind?

Let go, you're hurting me!

You hear that? It hurts!

Uh, let me out, you hear me? Let me out!

What the hell is going on, where am I?

-Thanks for coming back. Good for you!

-What were my options?
She saw me, I'm not gonna bounce back now.

-You're the ones who are gonna shut it down,
and we're outta here.

-Okay, go, go, go.

You have such an interesting life.

Pinocchio.

Dog food.

The door to the restaurant won't open on its own, will it?

And I will see this project through.

Because I don't want to spend my whole life
doing all this crap.

I want to do something important.

Something useful, something worthwhile.

So that the father...

proud of me.

-Grisha,

I realize that, of course.
But you're not embarrassed,

that we just started and she's already gone?
-That's good, that's great!

What do we give a villein for running away?

-So, execution.
-Execution!

We're gonna give her a good scare.
she'll believe she's in the past.

And then it's a matter of technique.

-Grisha, what execution?

It's a whole story.
It's a scaffold, an executioner. That's cooking.

-Grisha, can't we think of something simpler?

-Let's not hang her up, please.

-I agree. We won't hang him.

We'll burn it.

-Are you guys really gonna burn me?
You're all going to fucking jail!

Untie...

-I have my orders.
-Untie me! Police!

Police! What the hell are you doing!

What have I done to you? I don't want to die!

Help me! Help me!

(Katya screams)

-Come on, it's perfect, it's done.
Light it up!

-Grisha, maybe we shouldn't?

-Grish, she's already scared enough as it is.
Will you stop it?

-I can't watch this.
Let me go untie her.

Like a pardon from the lord.

-It's not enough, guys, you gotta push it.
To be sure.

-Grisha, is the fire a stuntman's fire?

-Naturally.

All right, go ahead and light it.
It should be fine.

- "Should be"?

-Police! Let me go!

-No, I won't.

-Guys, this is not the way to fix a man.

We should burn it!

All right, I'll do it.

(solemn music)

-Salute, stop music.

(music stops)

Well, what are you waiting for?

-that you would ask us anything.

-Ah, okay, I'll ask.

What the fuck did you guys come here for?
-Told you so.

-And I told you that we have problems
and we need a counselor.

-And I told you, I'm not a psychologist,
I'm a scientist.

-I told you I'm not going to a psychologist.
-Well, he says he's not a psychologist. -He's not a psychologist.

He's also our friend.

-And he's also your ex-husband.
-You may soon be an ex-husband, too.

So you'll have a lot to talk about.
-Are you getting a divorce?

-Are we getting a divorce?

-Leo, what's new in science?

-What about science? It's like everywhere else--
mess and corruption.

I had to look into genetics.

I'm looking for the greed gene.

-Nastya, are we getting a divorce?
I don't understand your statement.

(cell phone ringing)

Artem, I'm busy, yeah.

What?

(menacing music)

(all gasp)

(Katya screams)

(mute)

-Help! Help me!

-Wake up? You awake, son? Good!

I want you to look me in the eye
when I strangle you!

-Hush, hush.
-He's the father, he has the right to strangle her.

-Why did you knock me out?

They've brought in more of them.
This is going to be a criticism!

-How am I supposed to clean up this mess?

Uh, I'll--
-That's it, that's it.

-It's not constructive!

Pasha, let's go and talk about it.
-Come on.

-So, who's the shooter?

Traitors.

-We take the girl, we put her to sleep,
drop her back where we found her.

Let her think she's got a glitch.

-Pash, aren't you curious yourself,
why he did it?

-Not interested.
-Of course you're interested in making money.

And buy palaces.
You don't care what other people have.

-What did he expect?
-You!

That you'd rush over at the last minute
and wipe up after him.

-Yes, typical major behavior.

Our Grisha snapped.
- "Snapped"!

A wreck is when you're drunk!
You wrecked the car! You're a junkie!

And he stole a man! Tried to burn him.

-That's what majoring is.

It remains at a deeper level
and manifests itself in a different way.

You want something, you do it right away.

Rude, stupid, irresponsible,
without thinking of the consequences.

But let's look at the positive side.
-Let's. Is there one?

-Of course! Our boy experienced
a wonderful emotion--

anger over social injustice.

And he wanted to fight it.
-Let's give him a medal.

-Rano medal.

We need to get this project up and running right away.

(pathetic music)

-How's the project?

You gave up on them.

You said you didn't want
to waste your life on this.

-Yeah, "No new projects,
I'm not a major."

-We don't need new ones. We need to finish the old ones.

I didn't finish my work with Grisha.

-So...

-What are we gonna do about the girl?

-Without the girl, you can't do anything.

(bravura music)

My friends!

The plan proposed by the previous leader
doesn't work.

Women are organized differently.

Take her out of her comfort zone,

coerce, punish--

it's not enough.

You have to work with the main quality of a woman.

What's that?

-Stupid?

-Jealousy?

-No. -It's a belief in miracles.

Into the fairy tale!

Specifically, this one!

Uh-huh, and at exactly midnight.
the majorette turns into a pumpkin.

-I'm really glad you're starting to talk to us
talking to us again, but don't.

We'll surround our Cinderella

extremely toxic characters.

-Grandpa, where the hell are you taking me? Let go!

Please, not on the stake again!
What have I done to you? What did I do to you?

-Sister, they're looking for you. They told me to bring you.

-What sister?
I don't have any sisters at all.

Can you fucking hear me?

-A nasty stepsister, that's one.

-Well, Katya,

did you enjoy
with my little performance?

With fire.

Science for your future.

You take my stuff again.

I'll really burn you.

-I'm not-- Ouch!

Look, woman,
this is all a mistake, okay?

I didn't touch anything,
I don't even know who you are.

-Katya, don't be a fool! It'll be worse.

-Am I, then,
the disgusting stepbrother?

-No. -You were brother and sister last time,
that didn't end well.

-Don't worry, we're married now.
We don't do that anymore.

-Well, that's your business.

Cinderella needs a father!

Worthless, weak-willed.....

father.

That's two!

-Daddy! Katya's playing
She's playing the fool again. Tell her to be flogged.

-Listen, Aglayushka, you know,

Katya's not very smart.
Should we whip her right away?

-So you call your mother, she'll whip you. -Mother?
-Mother?

I'll get my mom, right away.

-Mother. Well, stepmother, then.

Well, we have to find an actress, Leo.

Let's do the specs: age, physical appearance,
data, gender, ethnicity.

-Well, I'm in my early 40s.

Light-skinned, gaunt.

But she seems kind, and her voice is commanding.

Balls of steel, bad temper.

A lot of experience
in a supervisory position.

Preferably a producer.

-What?

-Nastya, we don't have time for auditions. -Nastya, we don't have time for auditions.

And you're perfect
as the evil stepmother.

-What's that got to do with me? I'm not an actress.
-You don't have to act.

You're already the evil stepmother.

-Is that irony there?
Or constructive criticism?

Come on, come on, come on, Pash, finish it.

-And I and finish.
You've been gnawing on Grisha's brain all the time.

"You're not doing anything, you're not doing anything."

Maybe it's your fault he's keeping himself so busy.
-It's my fault?

You've got a son who's a bum,
and it's still my fault.

-Eh, I'm not a slacker.

-Shut your mouth, no one asked you to!
-That's it!

Save it for our majorette.

-What are you picking on me for, anyway?

It's burn or whip. What's going on?

How did I even end up here?

-You've got me so sick of your dementia!

(gasps)

Mommy! Mommy, Katya attacked me!

Mommy, Katya almost killed me!

-Are you stupid? What are you doing?

-What do you think you're doing, you mongrel mutt?

Did you hit my daughter?
-What do you mean? I didn't lay a finger on her.

-You dare to open your mouth? -You dare to open your mouth?
-You asked me that.

-Hurt?

She's the one who hit you.

-Don't overreact, we all have problems.
We'll get through it.

-Did you just hear the word "divorce"?

-She's the one who's scary.

-Pash, I've heard the word "divorce" from her twice in my life.
I've heard the word "divorce" from her.

One in front of his,

the second one seems to be in front of yours.

-You think she'll leave me?

-Well, I haven't quit yet.
I even signed up for you and your son.

So as long as she's here, there's a chance.

-Something I don't understand.
If they think I'm their daughter,

why do I have to peel peas?
Don't they have servants?

-I am. Я.

-You go through it.

-Your lady told you to.
-He can stick his orders up his ass.

So, what's your name? Luba?
-Luba.

-Lyuba, where can I take a shower?
-А?

-Where can I wash up?

-In the river.
-In the river.

Well, how about, you know,
with water pouring down from the top? Is there such a thing?

-Rain.

-Great!

Fiction.

-Explain?
-What don't you understand?

The Frog Princess.

You do love fairy tale schemes.

Give it to Katya. Tell her it's magic.

Let her sit there, nibble on it,
waiting for a miracle.

Women believe in miracles, don't they?

-Ah, the critics are here?
-It's here!

I don't understand what it is
special thing you're doing here.

I had the exact same plan!
Only you've packaged it up nicely.

-Conclusion?
-This is my project!

And you stole it!

-No one stole anything from you.
Nobody suspended you.

Get involved, help out.

What do you do? Frogs
You catch frogs in the reeds? Duremar.

-Okay. Let's say I really did go back in time.

But why the hell here?

In the past, too, I guess,
the places were great, too.

Europe is there, Dubai, Maldives.

Maldives, I guess,
in any century.

Whoops!

Is that a black eye?

Who did that to you?

-Well, you didn't do the job,
so I got a beating from the missus.

She can't beat you up,
and she's taking it out on me.

-We've been talking about it.
You can see where this is going.

If there's a Cinderella,
there's a prince, right?

-Say at once who is the prince. Well, me?

-Or me?

-What do you think, Grigory Pavlovich?

There are two candidates for prince.

-What do I think?

Well, Artem's not a bad guy.

Kind, responsible.

Only with that Ryazan face
what kind of prince is he?

He can also shoot you in the back.

And this one, well, there's no question.

Appearance.

Handsome, thoroughbred.

But as an actor, he's wooden.

Pinocchio. I've even seen him with a nose.

So take your pick.

(psychologist applauds)

-Congratulations, Grisha!
You perfectly passed the casting for the lead role.

Arrogant, insolent type.

A real prince!

-The dress is so uncomfortable!
I can't stand up or walk!

What? Why does having a big ass
make me scarier?

What are you guys laughing at?
Get that ass off of me right now!

-So! What's up, mom?

I realize that you and I
things haven't been going well,

but why hit Luba? She had nothing to do with it.

So cut the crap. Okay?

-She's talking to herself,
she's sick.

Was it okay to tell me
that she was coming in?

-Lev Arnoldovich,

I want to tell you one more time.

I don't want to be a prince.

-What is it?

-I know what's going to happen.
She's Cinderella, I'm the prince.

You're gonna make me play love with her.

-You don't want to?
-It's not that I don't want to, I can't.

I, for one, am not an artist,

and secondly, I don't, to put it mildly,
I don't like her at all.

-I'm having massive deja vu.

Somewhere in these parts, that's exactly what Lisa said
Lisa said about you.

-Well, she was right.

She and I, in real life.
didn't work out anyway.

-Okay, I get it. No love.

-Great. What's going to happen?

-Ask the pikey.

She's talking. Well, she was.

-Lev Arnoldovich! -Can I still have
a role after all? Please.

I'm a really strong artist, I can handle it.

Maybe the prince needs
some friend, a grand duke?

-Hey, Lub, is there any way you can smoke
something to smoke, do you know?

I don't get it.

What have we got here again?

-You, young lady,
don't stand up for me anymore.

We're in bad times, the Boyarina is fierce.

They might kill you for your protection.

(triumphant waltz)

Oh, my goodness!

Wow, he's so handsome.
I can't believe it. A pure lord.

-What happiness, Grigory Pavlovich!

-We're very glad to see you, Grigory Pavlovich.

-I'm sorry. The roads are a mess.

-What is he to us?
-Groom.

-Let's go inside, shall we?
-And I've got some presents for you.

So, you're, uh. What's your name?

Pansy! Bring it all inside.

(Lyuba)
-We've only heard of him.

Aglaya Dmitrievna at balls
made his acquaintance

and we were waiting to see if he'd come to marry me.
or not.

And lo and behold, here he is.

Maybe he'll take Aglaika back to town,
so we can have a little more peace and quiet here.

-I wish you'd brought your mother.

-The most important day today!

We're gonna sit down to dinner
I want you to sit there like a mute, okay?

-Mother, is Grigory Pavlovich
is really going to marry me?

I can't believe it!

-Of course he's getting married, sweetheart. -Of course he is.
Of course he's getting married.

And if you, you little cow, ruin it for me,

I'll shave your head,

and then I'll parade you naked through the village!

And then I'll drown you in the river!

-My sister, I love you so much.

I'd be so sorry
if mommy drowns you.

-Listen! So how about I just
not go to this dinner and that's it?

-Mommy, that's right! Maybe she won't go.

Please! She'll ruin everything!
-I can do it.

What's the risk
when you have serious things at stake?

-Doors! If Grigory Palych gets married,

and then he finds out that we have this dirty little girl
we have this dirty little thing living in our family,

he's gonna get mad at you for covering it up. You got it?

-А!
-I mean.

If I hear one word from you at the table,

I'm gonna do everything I promised.

I don't throw words around.

-Mommy is kind.

I'd tear you up with a horse.

-I beg your pardon,

wasn't aware that you had another young lady
another young lady in your house.

Out...

embarrassment.

You've been left without a present.

-You'll forgive us.

Here, help yourselves.
Whatever God sends.

-Grigory Pavlovich,
and you don't pay attention.

Katie is a recluse.
And uneducated as well.

That's why the wrapper is a guest for her. Yes, Katyusha?

-The shutterbug?

Don't you guys ever go to balls?

-No, she's got her own balls.

In the stable and in the henhouse. Yes, Katusha?

-What do you do for fun?

-Well, her entertainment is very simple.

Ride a filly,

to catch a fly with your mouth.

(Aglaia giggles)

-Ekaterina, I'm talking to you,
and your mother answers me.

I'd like to hear your voice at least.

-And you creak your chair--
pretty much the same thing.

Oh, what am I saying, huh?

Grigory Pavlovich will think
that we don't love our little daughter.

And we love her so much. We love her so much!

We carry her in our arms.

We spoon-feed her.

Yes? Eat up, sweetie, come on, come on, come on.

Yum, yum, yum!

Yum, yum, yum! Open your mouth.

(gasps)

-Thank you, it was delicious.

-Get ready to give up your tresses!

You're naked on my belly
you'll crawl all over the village!

-Shouldn't we go straight to the drowning?
What's the time to waste?

-I'll cut your tongue out!
So you don't get cocky.

-What are you doing here?

-We're getting a haircut.
-Now?

-Grigory Pavlovich, you'd better go inside.
Aglaia will get bored there.

-Aglaya Dmitrievna went to rest.

I'd go, too,
but I don't have any candles in my room.

Please order me to serve.

-Now.

-You give my horses some oats. Right away.

-Hear me! -Hear me!

-I think I saved you from something?

-What's the point?

They're gonna kill me anyway, sooner or later.

-Why is she doing this to you?

Maybe there's some reason?

Well, except for the soup.

-I have no idea.
I don't even know any of them.

I've been here for two fucking days.

-You know, Katerina, you, uh.

Katerina, where are you going?

-Fire.

-Katerina! Katerina!

Wait, Katerina!

-If the skin on my face comes off,

I'm really gonna drown this fool!

-Listen, maybe you and I
need to talk.

-What, now?
-You're not busy. -You're not busy.

-What, in front of him?
-You're the one who wanted to talk to him in front of him.

-Don't you see the difference between the situations?

-I don't see it.
-I see.

That's the problem,
you never see anything.

-Maybe the problem is,
is that everything is wrong with you?

-I'm glad we finally found
who the problem is.

Can I change? Uh, thank you.

-Brilliant!

-How could I.

-The last thing I remember
is me and my mom in jail,

I'm leaving,

here's something about the wheel.

Then, bam, here I am.

-Surprising.
-Mm-hmm. -That's putting it mildly.

-Wait, about prison, I don't get it.

Were you in prison there in the future?
Are you a convict?

-Yeah, no. You know, like, sitting down. Not for real.

-What do you mean? If they're in jail, they're in jail.

Isn't that the case with you?

-It usually is, but not for everyone.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

-Where are you going?
-To the fire, I told you.

I'd rather do it myself than suffer this humiliation.

-Grisha! We don't have divers down there!
Do it yourself.

-Great plan!

-What?
-М?

А... Я... Well, uh.

I mean.

That's not gonna work. We need a rock, a rope.

-I'm begging you. It's gonna work.

I fell off a boat drunk with my clothes on once,
and they barely got me off.

-Halt! -Freeze!

-And what are you doing?

-Well, I'm gonna have to save you.

Camisole, Italian silk.

It took six months. It's a shame.

-Let's make it quick then.
The water's cold.

-Yeah. -That's in your future, I guess,
you just dropped everything and took off.

And look how many buttons we have!

It's actually faster if you help.

(cell phone ringing)

(Dad)
-Allo?

-Well, you're here
some rich dude, right?

-Yeah. - "Dude"?

-Well, man.
-Yeah.

-Imagine, all your horses, your carriages,
Italian silks.

it all just went away.

You had everything,

and now you have nothing.

And what is there to live for?

-Well...

-Mm-hmm.

-Are you living for this?

-Genius! Grigory Pavlovich
improvises like a god!

-Grigory Pavlovich can't remember three words.
can't remember three words, so he improvises.

-Guys, it's bad!
Mom's freaking out, looking for her daughter.

-Come on, how long will she look for it.
-Nothing, Lyova.

Grisha came to his mother,
asked about her daughter. And she disappeared!

She's gonna find us!
-What are we doing? Are we done?

-We're done and we're outta here! -No, no, no, no, no, we're not going anywhere.
-No, no, no, no, we're not going anywhere.

-What are we doing?

-We...

We're, uh. We're moving.

-How are we moving? Moving where?

-To the palace!
-Which one, mine?

-You could use mine, but I don't have any.

-What are you suggesting?

-I suggest we continue our story.
It's going so well!

Cinderella was on the verge of a nervous breakdown,
and she met a prince,

now she has to go to the ball! That's right!

Write me a "prom" scene,
like in War and Peace.

-What prom? I'm renovating,
I won't let you in my palace!

-Leo, tell me what you want.
Carriages, orchestra, extras...

Uh-oh, maybe we need a pumpkin?

-What kind of pumpkin, Nastya?
-The magic one.

-Grisha, get back to the control room immediately!
I think we've come up with a new plan.

-No. Lyova... Lyova.

-Man, I wish I was on my phone right now.

-What?

-to read something before bed,
to fall asleep.

-Should I get you a prayer book? -So I can give you a prayer book?
-Thank you.

I'll manage on my own.

(knocking on window)

-Katya, get ready, let's go.

-Where?
-My place.

To the palace.

-Five seconds.

Well, I'm not really in the mood for this,
and at least the guy has something new to offer.

The palace, after all.
-What about Aglaia Dmitrievna?

-It feels like it's not going.

What are you doing?
-Gathering your things.

-It's not my stuff,
you don't have to pack anything. Oh, that's it.

Come on, have a nice stay!

-Oh, the madam will be furious,
that you ran away with Aglaika's fiancé!

He'll probably chop my head off.

-Lub, how long will it take you to pack your suitcase?

-Come on, come on, just be quiet.

-Catch me?
-No, no, no, no, mother, I'll do it.

Yourself!

-Let's drink to our bold...

escape.

-Give me more.

(whip cracking, horse neighing)
-Go!

-Sleep! Let's go!

(Vivaldi's "The Seasons. Winter")

-Go!

(Vivaldi's "Seasons. Spring")

-I don't give a damn
about your safety record.

There can't be fire extinguishers in the 19th century.

-Where am I going to put them?
-I don't know where! Hide them behind the couch.

Okay, what kind of couch is this?
-Eco-leather.

-What kind of eco-leather? Let's go!

-I'm shocked, to be honest.
How did Dad agree to all this?

-Nobody asked him.
It's just the way things are now. They took the palace, that's all.

-Where is he, by the way?
Maybe he hung himself out of grief somewhere.

-Okay, technician! I need a drill!

(wary music)

-Search the place!

-No need to search anything, I'm here alone.

Good afternoon, Tatyana Vasilyevna.
-Take him!

-That's what I was afraid of.
-Where's my daughter?

-And there's nothing wrong with her.
Can I explain?

-Whoa...

A real palace.
(knocking on door)

Yeah, yeah?
-Good morning, Katie. -Good morning, Katie.

-Good morning.
-How did you sleep?

-Look, your champagne,
of course it's organic.

It's been a long time since I've been knocked out like that.

-What do you think?

-Honestly?

It's like heaven.

-Now I'll show you the real paradise.

-So, dude, I'm sorry, of course,
I don't know what you guys do around here,

you and I, actually,
just met yesterday.

-Please.
-Bath! Oh, my God!

It's really paradise!

(chirping)

Lyuba...
-А?

-I have a question
about my social status.

What are we soaping me up for?

-I don't understand you, young lady.

-Well, look.

I met a guy yesterday,

and I moved into his house today.

In my day, it's called...

How shall I put it?

Easily accessible.

-No, young lady, not at all.

Grigory Pavlovich has ordered us
to prepare a ball in your honor.

So his intentions are serious.

-Bal?
-Yes.

I've got a selection of dresses
for you to choose from.

-А... It's kind of trendy, isn't it?

-Yeah, I guess so.

I'm a country girl, I'm all about the lace.

-But it's like.

from some dead old women.

All right, get me some scissors, thread, needles.
we're gonna make my onions.

-Yeah!

"The Onion?"
-Outfit.

-А!

(tennis ball clattering, psychologist laughing)

-What are you reading?

Ah, "War and Peace."

-I'm immersing myself in the era, getting ready.

Can you not stand there?
I'm afraid you're gonna shoot me in the back again.

-I was just about to apologize.

I'm sorry, I was just nervous.

I won't do it again.

-Okay, well, if you promise
not to be nervous anymore.

-Everything. Calm as an elephant.

(calm classical music)

-Wow, that's pretty slick of you.

Where did you learn to sew?

-My mom and I used to sew for dolls when we were kids.

Before she gets political.

-Pardon my curiosity,

and how do you like Grigory Pavlovich? Do you like him?

-I don't get it.

He's some kind of...

There's something wrong with him.

-I mean, come on, it's perfect.

-Yes, only too much...

fake.
-Oh, yeah!

-Too right.

It's like it's made up.

It's like a bad soap opera, you know?

-No.

-We didn't guess with the main actor,
did we, Grigory Pavlovich?

-It's not real, eh!

Lev Arnoldovich,
can I try something?

-What?

(menacing music)

-Mommy!
-Mom?

-Here, Tatyana Vasilyevna,
this is our control room.

The heart of our entire project, so to speak.

-Gregory.

I've just seen you.

-Dad, why?
-There'd be no point in hiding.

They would have found us anyway.
I wanted to make a visual,

that we're not criminals,
or charlatans,

that we're a serious organization,

who, when she takes on a man,
it's guaranteed to fix him,

it's called,
turns you into a normal person.

-Are you saying my daughter's not normal? -My daughter's not normal?

-Look at this!

Tell me the last time your daughter

did you do something with your own hands?

By myself, without coercion, with pleasure!

And look at her girlfriend!

This isn't some silicone blogger!

It's an ordinary Russian woman.

Bodypositive...

Assist.
-Sharp

affective-depressive narcissism.

-Another one?
-It's a nasty disease.

Your daughter was diagnosed.

But we bought it, it's on the mend,

and in a few days you'll have
a brand-new Katerina!

-That's what I've been trying to tell you about.

We really want to help your daughter.
You see?

-I see that you blackmailed me,

took my money and used it to steal my daughter.

-Where are you going now?

-To get her out of this zoo.

In the meantime, you call your lawyers.

And get your warm clothes ready,
you're gonna need them soon.

(gunshot)

-Crazy?

-Yeah.

-Dad, we're screwed.

(cell phone ringing)

-Wow, she even cracked her forehead.

You're fired.
-From where? -From here!

Who is it?
-Someone she'll call back later.

Lift your eyelids.

-What to do, what to do?
-Pasha, stop being hysterical!

We'll figure something out.
-You ain't gonna do shit! -You ain't gonna do shit!

I'm always falling for your ideas!

You should have gotten rid of that girl,
and there wouldn't have been a problem!

-You actually brought her here. -You brought her here.
-Shut up!

Nastya, would you like
to join the conversation?

By the way, we're solving common problems,
on a federal scale!

-And I'm in. I'm calling off the security detail,
I'm going to Peter for the meeting.

Looks like somebody's budget was confirmed. Oh, boy!

-What are we doing with the body-- Ugh!
What are we gonna do with her?

-Oh, Pasha, do you have a wine cellar in your palace?
do you have a wine cellar in your palace?

-Oh, get drunk! That's a great idea! Genius!

-That's crazy,
they're on the phone solving problems.

-What do they decide?
-Artem, help me.

And you, prince, why are you standing still?

You wanted to try something out there.
Go try it.

-Bonjour, madame!

(addresses in French)

-Do you, young lady, understand their language? -No.
-No.

I love France, but I didn't learn the language.

Inglisch, globale lengvitch. Andestand?

-But!

-This is your dance teacher.

Grigory Pavlovich sent him from Paris.

(quietly)
Are they all like this in Paris?

-Lately, yes.

Where's Grigory Pavlovich?

-Grigory Pavlovich...
(speaking French)

-I beg your pardon!

Catherine, my soul, I got held up on business.

-I found out she doesn't speak French.

-Where's the champagne, village?

Come on, cow, move your flanks!
My throat is dry.

Why aren't you playing?
Why is my guest bored?

I'll drive you all to hell.
and you'll be in the pub!

-Oh!

(musicians playing slow music)

I asked for fun!

-That's the fun part.
There's more development.

-So start with development!

-You broke my bow!

-What are your fingers for? Or should I break them too?

Lick it with your tongue to make it shine.

And this is to wake you up.

Why aren't we dancing?

(teacher, with emphasis)
-Please take your position.

-Burney,

champagne spilled, bring new champagne.

It's not the last one.

(waltz playing)

(in French)
-One, two, three.

(gasps, groans)

-Well, here we are.

Hey!

Hey!

What are you guys doing?

Oh! Oh, my.

Have you lost your way?

Another kidnapping!

Causing bodily harm.

Forcible confinement.

How long are you going to sit there?
You don't have that many lives.

-I'd certainly get closer to you.

But I'm afraid you'll get at my throat.

-We're getting our hands dirty.

-Pardon us
for our barbaric methods.

-You're the head of this charade, aren't you?
-It's not a scam.

This is a serious science project.
-That's what you'll tell the court.

-Let's get to trial first.

Maybe you'll have a change of heart
by then.

-Well, the phone was confiscated, of course. -Of course.
-Of course.

But just so you don't get bored,

we've given you
this wonderful gadget.

(dance music)

-What's that?
-And I want you to take some time

watching your daughter.

-I have to pee.

-А!

There's a pot right there.

-Where?
-Where.

-Come here!

-And if you get naughty, we'll take the pot away.

-Come here! Come here!

-Listen, and Grigory Pavlovich - who is he?

-Who's "who"?
-Well, prince, count?

-Graph.
-Graph?

And last name?

-Dostoevsky.

-Seriously?
Uh-huh.

-What do you mean? Is he related to the guy?

-What "the one"?

-Fyodor Mikhailovich.

Grigory Pavlovich.

Yeah, it's a long way.

All right, forget it.

You know, I was wrong.

There's something about him after all.

-I don't get it, what was that?
Why did you turn on that major on Rublevka?

What, did you want her to like you so much?

-I was a mirror for her.

I thought I'd show you
what it looks like from the outside.

-Well, I think she's really into it!

-What did you expect from improvisation? -What did you expect from improvisation?
-Hush!

That's not the whole plan.

It's true what they say.
you don't show a fool half a job.

-What?

-I'm just finishing up, sorry. And you guys watch!

-What was that?
I think he was a little rude to you.

-I've got everything under control.
-Yeah?

-Yeah.
-It doesn't look like it.

-Dumbasses don't get half a job!

Why don't you go get some coffee over there?

-And this isn't coffee.

-Katie,

I hope you can forgive me.

My behavior in the ballroom was.....

unworthy.

-It seemed fine.

-Don't console me. I'm an earl.

I can't afford it.

-That's the other way around!

You're an earl! You can afford
whatever you want.

-I used to think so too.

that status and wealth

entitles me to everything.

But I was set on the right path.

My father.

-And what did he do?

-Whipped me.

Figuratively speaking.

Now I realize that status
is first and foremost a responsibility.

-There! There you go!

Did you all hear that?

That's when you need it, no one's around.

Fireworks, put me on something festive.

(solemn music)

-I'm trying to be better,

but sometimes I snap.

Like today.

Do I displease you very much?

-No.

Quite the opposite.

Your dad must be very proud of you.

-By the way, he'll be at the ball.

-Yeah?
-Yeah?

-That's why I lost my temper.

I'm very worried.
It's important to me that he likes you.

-Okay, all right.

And what would it take to do that?

(in French)
-One, two, three! One, two, three!

-I'm not much of a dancer myself,
but this ball is special.

We have to be flawless.

-That means we're gonna dance the shit out of it. -That means we're gonna dance the shit out of it.
-Speech needs work, too.

(lively music)

-How do I address his dad?

-A Count Pavel Sergeevich.

should be greeted in the following manner:

"Gracious sovereign,

allow me to pay you
my highest consideration."

-God!

Okay, I'll get over it sometime.
-In French, of course.

-Monsieur, per me te nu...

Per me te mu... Per me te.

(teacher) -How do we address
to an adult married woman?

-Mm. "Woman"?

Monsieur,

Per me se mua...

Ouch!

Monsieur, per me te moi.....

De vous...

Oh, come on!

Monsieur, per me te moi de vous. Ouch!

(chuckles)

Per me te mua...

de vous te moi...

Oh! Shit!

...same parle avec vous.

Merci beaucoup.

De vous profonde

ma admiración.

-Hello.

Your order.

What's going on here?

-Morning snack.

-Leo! Lyova!

Leo, I'm not playing his dad!

-Daddy doesn't want to play daddy?
What's wrong? I don't understand.

-Leo, I agree with Pasha.
He's not much of a dad, of course.

-What?
-It's just not your role, it's too hard.

-Well, you're a great dramatic actress,
so you know better.

-I don't understand. Is there a complaint?

Lyov, am I doing something wrong?
-Why are you distracting Lyov?

You should ask your husband!
-Okay, husband.

How am I doing?

-Medium.

-That's enough, enough! Come with me.
-Where?

-You need to work things out.
The best way is a fair fight.

This is for you, this is for you. Fight!

-You don't really think
we're gonna have a real fight, do you?

Nastya, what are you doing?

Nastya, what are you doing?

Nastya!

Nastya! What's the matter? Ouch!

Nastya, I, uh.

For what?
-Everything.

For all my lonely evenings!

For the duck and apples
that I threw away because of you!

Two weeks in the Alps,
that I spent alone like a fool!

For 250 episodes of a Turkish series!

-Nastya!

Nastya. Nastya.

Have you ever wondered
why I've been missing work?

Because you're always nagging me!
You don't like it, you don't like it, you don't like it, you don't like it!

Everything I do is my fault!

What the hell is going on?

А! Eye!
-Pashenka...

Oh, my God! Am I in trouble?
-My eye!

Oh.
-I'm sorry. Does it hurt?

(solemn music)

-Shit, this is a long shot. I'm totally screwed.

I'm afraid there's going to be an embarrassment.

-Don't be afraid of anything, lean on me.

(dance music)

-He won't like me.
-Why not?

I like you.

-You don't know me at all.

-I already know.

You put up with a lot
when your stepmother hurt you.

You're restrained.

You're embarrassed by this lavish ball.
You're modest.

You're kind to Luba, a simple peasant woman.

You are merciful.

-No one's ever said that to me.

-Katya, you can't be so stupid!

-High Judge of the Imperial Court of Justice

minister of justice

Count Pavel Sergeyevich Dostoevsky!

(whispering)
-Dad!

(whispering)
-What's wrong with his eye?

-Lost it. In combat.

-How's Kutuzov?

-Yes, yes. -Like Kutuzov.

It's a family joke.

Shall we?

Hello, Dad.

-Hello, Grisha.

-May I present Catherine...

Catherine.

-Monsieur, père monsieur, père mété moi.

de vous themeigne ma plu profonde admiración.

-Yes, yes, sharman.

Your dress is so beautiful.

-Mercy.
-From Paris?

-I made it myself.

-Well, well, well.

-Are you in a bad mood, Daddy?

-Yes, Grisha.

Here you go,

straight to you from the courtroom.

It's a tough case, I'll tell you that.

I can't get it out of my head.

-What's the matter, Daddy?

-A young lady

drank wine with the hussars.

(all laughing)

I asked you to, just for fun,

to steal a cannon from the regiment

and with her own hands she fired

to a peasant's hut.

Bang!
(all shouting)

-What a nightmare.

-The house is in splinters.

Miraculously didn't kill anyone.

-What's the problem, Dad?

-Difficulty?

Her mother is an important person at court.

(all gasp)

She's asking for her daughter.

He assures me he'll make it up to you.

And the girl.

is remorseful.

Sort of.

You could have forgiven me,

but the law says Siberia.

(all)
-Siberia! Siberia! Siberia!

-Siberia!
-That's where she should go.

-What do you think, Katerina?

Forgive the young lady?

Or sent to hard labor?
-forgive.

Sure, forgive.

-You've got it so simple!

And if she doesn't change?

What if he goes back to his old ways?

That's how you're gonna know
if she's telling the truth or not?

Why are you standing there?

Go on, dance. Go on, go on, go on.

(orchestra starts playing)

-Don't worry.

You said it right.

(waltz music)
I would have answered the same way.

-I told you he wouldn't like me.

-Daddy's complicated.

But the ball had just begun.

We have lots and lots of time.

-Sorry, I'll be right back.

Pavel Sergeyevich, may I invite you?

-Me?
-You.

White dance - ladies invite the cavaliers.

-But I didn't actually prepare to dance. -Yes, you did.
-And I warned you, it's a tough role.

-Pasha, if you don't want to dance, don't dance.
-What do you mean, "don't dance"?

Up and at 'em!

-How can this girl prove
that she's changed?

-How do you prove it?
Wait, are you asking me?

How... How?

-Leo, come on, save him!

-Tell her, it's-.

Well, you'd have to ask her.

-I'm asking you how.
How can she prove it?

-And I'll tell you how. You don't!

She doesn't know yet if she'll change or not.
And no one does.

You might want to ask yourself this question:
if your son were in her shoes,

would you be sitting here right now thinking -
forgive him or go to hard labor?

-Ha! Did you eat it?

-And I can also see that you don't like me.

But that doesn't matter.
The important thing is that your son likes me.

-Give it to me.

-Anything okay?

-It's fine.

(waltz music)

(all gasp)

-Disaster!

Trouble, gentlemen!

The French are on the doorstep!

There's gonna be a big unit here any minute.

-Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic!
You are under my protection!

(gunshot)

-I'm sorry, what year is this?
-1812-й.

-1812-й?

-The horse is coming!

(roaring, hoof stomping)

Cannon fire!

Sabres, action! The window!

(glass clinks, everyone screams)

-Wait, wait. Let's go.

I don't want you to get hurt.

-Are you fighting Napoleon here?

- "You"? Why "you"? "We"!

-How the hell did I get here?

(frightened screams)

-Everything!

All right, we got the Frogs back!

Really got me a little bit, the devils!

-They're already gone.
-Oh, yeah?

I was actually practicing.

-Leo! So, like me, huh?

-Bad, Pasha. Bad.
-Why bad?

-This is ridiculous. It's just a kids' party.
New Year's Eve in the yard.

Now we've done something to scare her,
and then what?

I need a scale,
so she can see the real danger.

We're training her for a feat.
-Well, so far, I'm the only one doing the deed.

I gave away the palace, I spent a lot of money!
I'm doing all sorts of pirouettes!

-You're doing this for your son.

-And I keep a federal official
I'm keeping her in the basement for my son, too?

-No. -You're doing this for all of us.

-By the way, how are we going to solve this problem?

-Well, is that a problem?

This is a disaster!

-I think I had a different mustache.

-What mustache?

She doesn't remember your name.

-By the way, what's my name?

-Shit! -Is that my "parents" here?

-Yes. -I don't know what it means, but it's them.

-What do you mean? Are they following me?

No, no, I don't want to go there, I'm not going back!

-Don't be afraid. I won't give you to anyone.

(crying)
-Oh, what grief!

Oh, my God!

What a nuisance, eh!

Grigory Pavlovich, my dear, help us!

-French!

The army is innumerable!

They've taken our estate.

Father's house, nobleman's nest.

We barely got away.

-Barely got away!

(crying)

-Don't let me go, Grigory Pavlovich!

-Katenka...

-That leaves us with a bare ass,
as they say.

There's nowhere else to go!

-А...

And where, I'm afraid to ask...

Aglaia?

(sobbing)

-Did you have to take me out?

That's how I'd play the part right now,
I'd make everyone laugh!

-They don't have any money.
They're already cutting back on everything.

I got thrown off my tail, too.

-There's nothing to do!

No way! I don't feel like it at all.

(Katya)
-They say all the rooms are occupied by the wounded.

So we're gonna have to squeeze in here.

-We will.

Katya, I'm sorry, please.

I'm so sorry to you.

-Come on, come on.

You don't have time for me right now.

-It was you I didn't care about before.

You know, when I married your father,

you were just a baby.

You needed a mom.

What about me?

I've got lights, balls.

Some aspirations.

So I left you to babysit.

But you probably don't remember that, do you?

(thoughtful music)

-I remember.

-You know, I lost one daughter, and now I realize
I realize I lost you a long time ago.

If I could make things right...

-It's never too late to make things right.

-Hey, you, is anyone there?

-You have no idea
how glad I am that you've changed your mind.

-I understand,
kind Tatyana Vasilyevna,

did you enjoy our little movie
starring your daughter?

-You were counting on it.

Congratulations to you.

It worked.
-And if you'd just, uh.

-Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh, don't.

-Well, I won't get in your way.
Just do your thing.

-We're going to go boom! -We're going to go boom!
-Quiet, let's go.

-Fabulous! Thank you so much.

But to be honest, we were counting on
for some help.

-What do you need?
-Well...

You're an official, I'm a scientist.

What do scientists usually want
from government officials? Money.

-Dictate the number.

(sullen music)

-Luba...
-А?

-Where are so many of them coming from?
-Where do they come from?

The French don't use slingshots
they don't shoot with slingshots either. Let's go.

-Geez, why are we here?

We're not doctors, we're not nurses.

I'm afraid of blood in general.

-Don't touch the wounds.

They're our soldiers.
They need encouragement. A kind word, a caress.

(groaning)

-We did a number on those Frogs.

Yes, brothers?

(wounded men, chorus)
-Yes!

-They really got me, though,
you mustachioed devils!

-Courage! Go on, go on, cheer me up.
-No.

(groaning)

Does it hurt?
-It's nothing, it's just a scratch.

I'll get some rest and get back in position.

(yelling)
Chop the gutter!

(wounded men, chorus)
-Chop!

-You'll probably have to lie down for a long time.

-What?

How long is it gonna take?

Where have you ever seen a Frenchman

without Prokhor Panteleev being beaten? А?

Without me, that rotten Bonaparte.
will reach Siberia!

-Don't worry, it won't.

-What do you know, young lady?

(loudly)
-I apologize for the spoiler, of course,

but Napoleon will lose!
-I can't wait.

-It will reach Moscow, yes.

But he'll come back with nothing.

He's going to lose his army,

and it's freezing out here.

-Yeah, that's right.

-I can see the future!

(all cheering, laughing)

-That's what they should do, Frogs!

-That's right, young lady, that's right!

I told you so!

(upbeat music)
Told you, brothers!

Chop the gutter!

-Lev Arnoldovich!

I realized what Katya
Katya had to do the deed.

For the sake of the motherland!

-What?
-Well, did you plan it for love?

Like the French have attacked,
I'm in danger,

and she decided to save me. How's that?

-Well, just in general terms.

-Yes, but she's a woman.

It's kind of different for them.

You said it yourself-- a woman in love,
on adrenaline, she'll do anything.

But that doesn't mean
that she's really changed.

What if she's protecting
not just me? Everyone! The country!

-Who? Katya?
-Ha-ha-ha!

-The motherland?
-Funny.

-She probably doesn't even know the word.
"homeland."

-You should know,
there's a nightclub in Khamovniki.

(laughter)

-Sit down! Sit down, make it happen. Do you have a plan?

-Generalities.
-Then I'm calm.

-Leo, what are you doing?
-Wait, Lyova!

What's going on?

-It's gonna be a disaster,
a disaster!

-Let's each of us
do their own thing.

I'm doing Grisha, he - Katya.
Do you have nothing better to do?

-What do you mean?

-Well, I think you guys talked about everything,
you've cleared it all up, you've even had a fight.

You still don't understand
what we need to do next?

Oh, you fools!

(drum roll)

-Katya!

I heard you talking about Napoleon.

You know that from the future?

-Yeah.

-How interesting.

So you know how it's gonna go down?

You can do something about it.
Change the future.

-How's that?

-Well, let's say Napoleon.

If you tell him he's gonna lose,
he might change his tactics.

And win in the end.

And if he conquers Russia,

there will be a great French empire here.

It's working,

it's all in your hands.

Or the other option...
-How cool is that?

I love France, it's got oysters, croissants.

Culture, again. Everything is beautiful, exquisite.

I started learning French.

-Well, what's the point he's getting at now?

-What was his point?
-You know, like a choice.

-What kind of choice is that?
Why not surrender the country to Napoleon?

Where's your guy in charge?

-Where's the man in charge? -Where's the man in charge?
-Where's the man in charge?

-He's asleep, I think.

-Grisha is our project manager now.

And he knows what he's doing.
-You gonna shoot him in the back again?

-No, my daughter will definitely pass. -No.

She's been asking since she was 12 years old
to send her to live abroad.

I'm just not comfortable with it because of work.

-I see your point.

-They're preparing for an assault.

Napoleon will personally supervise.

See? The tent is blue. It's the Emperor's.

-Handsome.

(gunshot)

-It's on! Come on!

-I'm sorry, what are we gonna do?

-Well, it's either run or fight.

to the last drop of blood!

Katya! We won't get far on foot.
We need a horse.

-Whose regiment will you be, young man?

Oh, young lady! I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you.

What a joy!
We'll fight side by side!

-We decided to run away. The dress is uncomfortable.
-Papa, give me the horse!

-Run, my daughter! Run for your life!

-My girl, take care of yourself.
I can't lose another daughter.

-Don't worry, young lady.
We'll hold them off.

-Katya, shall we go?

-Come on, daughter, come on.

(dramatic music)

-Do you realize they're all going to be killed?

(thoughtful music)

-Let's go.

(dynamic music)

(French shouting)

(shouting in french)

-How's it going?
-It's a very important moment.

Or they're about to take the fight...

-Do we give up? Tell them we have
important information for Napoleon!

-Never!

(French shouting)

-Why don't you say anything? Speak up!

(in English)
We have big information for Napoleon!

Okay?

-Well, or so it seems.

(shouting in french)

-Run! -Run! They'll kill you!

(dramatic music)

Everything! That's it, that's it, that's it.

That's it, I'm gone.

Thank you all, well done!
See you on the battlefield.

(gunshots, battle noise)

-Go! Let's go, let's go!

(coughs)

Avenge me.

-Come on, Katya, come on!

-Thank you, get well!

-Halt! -Jump in!

Don't be afraid, young lady, we'll get through this!

-Are you sure it's safe?
-Absolutely.

Absolutely, yes.
-You're answering with your head.

(explosions)

-Where are we going?
-Where are we going? To attack!

-Can you drop me off at this tent?
-What?

Do you want to go to the French?
-Yes.

-Run to the French, there they are!

(battle noise)

-Attack!

-А!

-Grisha! -You're alive!

(gunshot)

(tragic music)

Grisha! Grisha!

Grisha! Grisha!

Grisha!

Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this?

We could have surrendered together,
everything would have been fine!

-It's gonna be okay.

It's in your hands.

(sad music)

-Grisha...

Grisha...

(explosions)

(French voices)

-Okay, so now my daughter
betrays the country, what's next?

Are we gonna build Paris here?

-You might want to ask that question
here to the project manager.

-Grisha, at what point
are we going to put Katya to sleep?

When will she tell Napoleon about Borodino.
or lead the French into battle?

-What's up? How we doing in here?

-Luxurious.

Anyway, I've seen enough.
I'm taking my daughter.

What I spent on your scam,
you're gonna pay me back,

including moral compensation!
-Wait!

Give me five more minutes.

-Sharman.

-Aglaia?

(accent)
-You know her?

-Her? I've never seen her before.

Some Russian fool.
(laughs)

(Aglaia laughs)

(Aglaia and officers laughing)

(dramatic music)

(translator, with accent)
-Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte of France

you are greeted by a Russian woman.

(menacing music)

-De vous.

(speaking french)

(speaking french)

(translator, with accent)
-The Emperor is pleased,

what sane people are left in Russia.

There is no point in the Russians resisting.

What's there to protect, huh? Mosquitoes and swamps.

(speaking french)

(French speaking)

-What's he talking about?
It's from Notre Dame de Paris.

What a bug! He didn't learn the lyrics
and he's just banging out a song.

(speaking french)

(translator)
-We've been informed that you have

curious about our majesty's information.

We're listening.

-М?

-Yes...

Anyway...

(majestic music)

You won't even make it to Moscow.

How's that, Bonaparte?

(dramatic music)

(shutter clicks)

-А!
-Yes!

Have you seen it? Did you see it?

-Э! But! Stop, stop!

I stop! I stop!

Я... А!

Aah! Aah!

What are you, stupid?

Aah! I'm bleeding! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, I'm hit! I'm hit in the butt! Aah!

I didn't sign up for this!

I'll take you to court, you bastards!

-Shit! -What do we do now?

-Jubilate, Grigory, jubilate!

You expected her to just
to betray her.

But she even exceeded your plan.
She bayoneted the girl!

-But she realized it was all an act.
-And it's perfect!

I couldn't have expected a better ending!

You believed in her, took a risk and won!

Why are you standing there? Run to her!

-And tell her what?
-What does a woman value more than a fairy tale?

The truth.

-Grisha!

Proud of you.

-Dad, I'm in a bit of a hurry right now.

Can you do it again later?
-Yes.

-Now, Pasha,
my work is done.

Please.

-I have an entreprise in Omsk tomorrow,
I have a bed scene there!

You fucking majors!

They're all full of them! They're pissed off!

Call an ambulance, I'm going to die!

(siren)

-Don't worry, I'm alive.

-You think that surprises me now?

What the hell is this, huh?

Is this some kind of masquerade? A joke?

Were you guys messing with me?
-We were helping you.

-"Helped"?
-I'll explain everything.

-She shot Napoleon!

She didn't know it was an actor!
Did she realize she'd be killed immediately?

-Of course I did!

Congratulations!
-Congratulations on what?

-With a new daughter.

-Thank you.
-What's in it for me?

-So you've seen me twice in your life,

knew nothing about me.
and you set this whole thing up anyway?

For me?

-For you.

(heartfelt music)

(sobbing)
Hey, come on.

-But I'm like.

After everything I've done.

It doesn't work that way.

-It happens.

-Katya! Katya, what a heroine, eh!

With Napoleon's bayonet!

-Luba!
-I'm not Lyuba, I'm Sveta.

-Katya, you're crazy.
I didn't expect that from you.

-Let me hug my daughter!

After a feat like that.
you're really like a daughter to me.

-Mom!

(excited music)

I'm sorry, please.

-I'm sorry.

I love you so much.

-Did you see me die?
-Very cool!

Have you seen me in captivity?
-Genius!

А?

-Nastya, I know what we have to do. -Nastya, I know what we have to do.

-And what?
-Daughter.

We need to become a real family.

Unless, of course, you divorce me.

-Where am I gonna leave you now?
One-eyed.

(peaceful music)

-Would you like to drive?

-No, thank you.

You're better at this.

-I'm sorry I'm late.

-Oh, come on.

For our first date, you've chosen
a gorgeous place, I love it.

-Lev Arnoldovich, let's get right to the point.

I am very impressed with your project.

What would you say if I

I suggest you zoom in?

-Scale? I like scale.

To what level?

-To the state.

You're going to love it.

-I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.