All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S03E05 Unleash the Kraken 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

Hey, ho!

MIKE: Congratulations, Colin.

You've once again proved
you're a psychopath.

Let's get one thing clear.

When you get yours, and you
will, it'll be at my hands.

So, they're flatmates?

They're guests.

Just for a while.

Till I get back on my feet.

And my feet, too.

[crashing]

Everyone OK?

Please, I can't
even pay my own rent.

I was a Johnson brother.

I liked it.

Not anymore.

There's one thing you need
to know about my tenant.

She's my mother.

I love parties and
you're good at games.

We will have great fun
being under the same roof.

[laughing]

G'day.

Aren't you even
going to say hello?

Michael?

Hello, Dad.

[music playing]

Hey!

I'm sick and tired
of the both of you.

Just grow up.

You grow up, you wanker.

[groaning]

Hey, cut it out,
the lot of you.

Don't make me
unleash the kraken,

because you know I will.

[music -- gin wigmore, "oh my"]

[SINGING] Oh, my God, I'm
beaten in the game of love.

And I fall down.

I fall down on my knees, I fall.

Small world, isn't it?

Clearly not small enough.

Yeah, well, better get back.

I haven't seen
you for 15 years

and that's all
you've got to say?

Can we talk in the morning?

Will you be here
in the morning?

It's the story of
the duck and the bee.

No, not a bee.

They can fly, so
that doesn't work.

What are you lot
doing down here?

What's the story about
the duck and the insect?

Birds and the bees?

A frog!

The frog and the scorpion,
that's the story.

A scorpion wants a
ride across the river--

Joe--

- -and--

I know the stupid story.

The scorpion promises
not to sting the frog,

then halfway across
the river it does.

And the frog says
why did you do that?

And the scorpion says
because it's in my nature.

- Yeah, that's it.
- And they both die.

I always leave that bit out.

That's not a very funny joke.

I didn't get it.

It's not a joke.

Njord, God of the Sea here, is
saying that he left his family

because it was in his nature.

Call of the ocean or
some such bullshit.

JOE: Michael--

What?

Oh, no God talk in front
of the mortals, eh?

Heh, God talk?

You'll have to excuse my son.

He's a bit overwhelmed.

You're Njord?

Ah, this is too good.

Njord, meet Lervin and
her daughter, Sjofn.

Well, then-- well that
explains a lot about

the night in the yacht club.

The instant attraction?

From hello to
naked in 20 minutes.

So, God of the Ocean,
want to come back to bed

and rock my boat?

Rock it?

I will sink it, baby!

[giggles]

Catch you in the morning.

So, that's everything?

Yep, that's
everything, Ingrid.

INGRID: Nothing that
you've left behind?

We've talked about this.

It's a small place, one bedroom.

There's not enough room for you.

No, I know.

- Thanks for everything, guys.
- No worries, bro.

We'll be around for the
house warming party.

Don't hold your breath.

There he goes.

Our revenue stream.

I guess you aren't going to
pick up any of the slack?

Money is not my
friend right now.

I find myself almost
negatively polarized

towards financial gain.

Ingrid, it's OK to crash here.

We're a flat, not a charity.

AXL: It's OK, Zeb.

No, it's not, Axl.

It's my name on
the lease, so I'm

the one who gets
hassled by the Kwans

whenever we're late
paying the rent.

We have a spare room.

Ingrid can crash here
until we find someone.

Well, actually, I
have found someone.

Potentially found someone.

Explain.

It may take a bit of attitude
adjustment on your behalf.

It's Amelia Tennet.

[music playing]

Will you still
respect me after this?

No.

We've been Facebook
friends while she's

been living in Sydney.

A step in the right direction,
but still not far enough away.

But now she's back, and
she's looking for a place.

It'll be the Three
Musketeers together again.

We were never the
Three Musketeers, Zeb.

Yes, we were, back at school.

And I know that your opinion
soured of her for some reason.

Because she is
a psycho nut bar.

She has a big personality.

Don't you remember
all the fun we had?

We were lap dogs because
she was incapable of having

real friends.

You're just saying that
cause she liked me better.

[music playing]

Yeah, sure, OK.

Ah!

Zeb, the only person
Amelia likes is herself.

You had a crush on her, and
it made you blind to the fact

that she was using us.

She was our friend.

She needs somewhere to stay.

We need a new flatmate.

Yes, but not her.

There you go, my sweet.

Joe, you have
outdone yourself.

Oh, just in time.

Your mum said you were
watching the old waistline.

I never said that.

I said you should be.

And for my number one son,
cut the soldiers nice and thin,

just how you like them.

When I was eight.

Go on, give it a taste.

See?

It's OK.

Well, my breakfast,
every mouthful an explosion

of yumminess.

You're quite a catch,
Johann Johnson.

I'm still blown away the fates
have brought us together.

Any idea why
fate never brought

you back to your family, Joe?

15 years, not even a postcard.

It's hard to stay
in touch when you're

a slave to the ocean, son.

On the waves, a day
seems like a second,

the year seems like a day.

The only way to truly
measure the passage of time

is by the lines
on your own face.

So long apart.

You know what this family needs?

- Mum--
- A party.

No.

A Johnson family reunion
barbecue here this afternoon.

And it'll be fancy dress.

Such a bitch.

Oh, come on.

You love dressing up.

Remember that adorable little
lamb outfit you wore for weeks?

Hey?

Does it have to
be fancy dress?

Excuse me?

You of all people who hate
fancy dress with a passion.

How do you know
about this party?

It says right here
on my event organizer.

"Johnson Boys Reunion,
Fancy Dress Barbecue."

What about the Burger Bar?

Wasn't that reunion enough?

Yeah, you'd think so, but
Dad sailed back into our lives.

Dad?

You're kidding, right?

Sitting right in front of me.

Well, fun times ahoy.

Can someone please explain?

You are now
witnessing Lervin's

insidious powers at work.

Clearly, the social
organizer of the gods.

Lervin decides to throw a party,
you are powerless to resist.

[phone ringing]

Mike, I'm not really in a
party place at the moment, OK?

So I'm going to
give tonight a miss.

What's the reunion for anyway?

Dad's back in town.

[music playing]

Our dad?

Yep.

Yeah, I can wait
another 15 years to see

the man who abandoned us.

As you can see,
there's excellent

indoor-outdoor flow when the
front and back doors are open,

of course.

Right.

And is there a dishwasher?

You're looking at him.

Zeb, just as
funny as I remember.

Axl, you're back already.

Yes, Zeb, I am.

Hey, Axl.

It's good to see you again.

Zeb, I had no idea Amelia
was coming around when you

asked me to go to the dairy.

Well, as the lease holder
of a flat in need of a paying

flatmate, I took it
upon myself to show

our prospective new
flatmate the flat

in the best possible light.

This is a bit weird, isn't it?

The three of us together again.

There are the words for it.

Look, I don't want to sound
like I'm sucking up, OK,

but you guys are the best
friends that I've ever had.

We were the outsiders.

The outlaws.

It was us against the world.

[laughing]

OK--

[clears throat]

- -Axl, I know that things
went totally pear-shaped

at the end of school.

But we're so much
older and wiser now,

and I promise I will be
the best flatmate ever.

My job doing publicity
for the liquor company

pays more than enough to cover
rent, plus I get free booze.

Plus I know heaps of
super cute promo girls

that I can introduce you to.

Plus I have a big screen
TV and killer speakers.

Plus I could move in today.

All excellent pluses.

For a trial period.
[laughing]

This is going to be so good!

It's going to be
like high school,

but better than high school!

AMELIA: [inaudible].

So what did the others get?

Anders got Bragi.

No surprises there.
Ty?

Hod.

[laughing]

He was always carrying
around a dark cloud.

Always had the shittiest luck.

Well, maybe his luck's changed
because he's not a god anymore.

- Can that happen?
- Apparently so.

[phone ringing]

Speak of the devil.

Hey, Ty.

Fancy dress?

Whose idea was it to
make it fancy dress?

Dad's back.

[music playing]

So I'm guessing that
you won't be coming?

Oh, no.

I'll be there.

MIKE: Aren't you going
to ask me what Axl got?

Is he 21 already?

Oh, you are such
a wonderful father.

So what'd he get?

Odin.

Seriously.

[phone ringing]

GRANDPA: The surf
is amping, Michael.

I mean, ridiculously good.

Good to know.

So why in the name
of Thor's underpants

do I have a sudden urge to go
to a fancy bloody dress party?

This is Lervin's work, isn't it?

Yep.

There'd better be
an outstanding reason.

Your son's returned.

Have you talked to Johann?

Whatever you do,
do not talk to him.

A bit late for that, Grandpa.

He broke my one rule, Michael.

I only have the one
rule, and he broke it,

and he will suffer
the consequences.

Tell him he has a world
of hurt coming his way.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't tell him.

I will tell him in my own way.

Your father's looking
forward to talking to you.

This might not be such
a bad party after all.

It's funny how the
universe works, isn't it?

Throwing us together with
gods from the same family.

MICHELLE: Hilarious.

Njord, eh?

A real charmer,
don't you reckon?

Mum, you know you don't
have a good history with gods.

Your father was a glitch.

A train wreck is not a glitch.

But Joe and I are a
perfect combination--

parties and boats.

We could run party boats
around the Mediterranean.

MICHELLE: Until he sails off
into the sunset without you.

He won't do that because
I'll be on the boat with him.

MICHELLE: It's not a good
idea for you to date a god.

You get your hopes up
and it never ends well.

But it's all right for you?

Mike is different.

We have a connection.

Joe and I have a connection.

You and Colin had a connection.

You'd rather I
date a psychopath?

He's got some issues.

sure, but--

Mum, I'm with Mike now.

All right, let's have
a look at you, then.

This isn't even a costume.

Sure it is.

Sexy Easter Bunny.

Porno Easter Bunny.

[crashing]

I am so not wearing this.

I might wear it then.

Joe would love it.

What has your father
done to my mother?

Judging by what we
heard through the wall,

I'd say pretty much everything.

Is he using his
power over her?

It's the only explanation.

What?

No offense, but if
my mother is, say,

an eight-- excluding
personality-- then

your father is about a two.

Ho, feel I should be offended
on behalf of my family.

I did say no offense.

Yeah, but that doesn't
make it not offensive.

All I'm saying is he
must have done something

to her to make her go for him.

You're confusing
him with Anders.

Like son, like father?

Or, your mum's sensing
that he was a god, just

threw herself at him.

If you dare add like
daughter, like mother--

No, no.

See, cause I value my life.

Good.

I have no idea what
my father's powers are.

Hi.

Hello.

I didn't know we were expect
any deliveries today, were we,

- Dawn?
- I'm not here on business.

Oh, pleasure, then.

Family business.

Party.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me.

Hey, Dawn, can you
hire me a costume?

I don't think that
costume shopping

is in my job description.

Oh, and get something for bike
boy, too, while you're at it.

- No, it's OK.
- Nonsense.

Dawn will delight and surprise
us with the costume choices,

won't you, Dawn?
Chop, chop.

So do we know why Dad's here?

Do we know why he left?

Fair point.

So what do we say to him?

As little as possible.
I don't know the guy.

I don't want to know the guy.

We go this far without
the old bastard.

That's easy for, you but
I've got unfinished business.

Wait, hang on.

Are-- are you here
for brotherly advice?

OK, cool.

Well, in that case,
I say hit the bugger.

Or don't hit the bugger.

Hit the bugger or
don't hit the bugger?

That's what you've got?

There.

You sure pack a lot of
stuff into such a small car.

You're doing such a good job.

Some things never change, eh?

Sorry?

Zeb still running around after
you like a lovesick kitten.

He is being
helpful, and Zeb knows

he's now in the upper structure
of my friendship rainbow.

No, he still has no idea
he's been friend-zoned--

just like then.

He's not a complete idiot.

Even he would have got
the message by now.

Look, Amelia, the
reason you're here--

the only reason you're here--

is because we're
desperate for a flat mate.

End of story.

Desperate?

It's an interesting
choice of words.

Um, did you ever
tell Zeb about us?

There was no "us," Amelia?

Really?

Really?

A certain senior dance?

Two kids sheltering from
social death in a sport shed--

Three young kids.

[moaning]

Yeah.

Two of them
struggling to control

their hormones and their desire
for one another, and failing

miserably.

No, we failed spectacularly.

Yeah.

And, no, I haven't told him.

Why would I tell him?

It was ancient history
and a huge mistake.

You sure about that?

ZEB: Here we go.

Perfect.

Zeb, you really
are such an angel.

I honestly don't know
how I managed to survive

all these years without you.

How about this?

Makes a statement.

Johann's and my outlook.

Outer space, in the void.

Bit subtle.

Grandpa, you said on the phone
that I shouldn't talk to Dad.

And did you talk to him?

I didn't have much choice.

Were you angry seeing him swan
back in after all those years?

Yeah.

And he gave you one of those
bullshit nautical speeches,

didn't he?

Full of all this crap.

Then how'd you feel after that?

You felt less angry, right?

Yeah, I did, come
to think of it.

Johann's power as Njord is
to pour oil on troubled waters.

You're pissed off
at him, he goes

blah, blah, blah,
blah, suddenly you're

not so pissed off anymore.

Does this sound familiar?

Yes.

And yes, he also
calms the actual sea,

which I'm sure is good if
you're going sailing with him,

but it's shit when you're trying
to bond with your 21-year-old

by taking him surfing.

Hey, Dawn.

Oh, hello.

Same party as your brother?

Yeah.

Good to know that one of
you is capable of shopping

for themselves.

You have a bone
to pick with Johann?

Yeah.

You make sure he never
gets the first word in.

I don't know if I can do this.

Just do what feels
right in the moment.

But I don't know what that'll
be until I get in there.

That's why they
call it in the moment.

MIKE: A Nautical
theme, of course.

But your costume's also fine.

I'm not in costume.

But your tool belt on.

Karen, dressing me up as
a builder is not a costume.

It's what I do.

Unless you like me to dress
up like a flash lawyer.

Now why would I
want you to do that?

That wouldn't be you at all.

Put your belt on.

Sex on the Beach.

Joe, you read my mind.

[giggles]

I know, I look ridiculous.

- Don't you dare laugh.
- Oh, no.

You look stunning.

Well, you haven't done too
bad without me, have you, son?

I had no choice, Dad.

Better get the lady a drink.

Hello.

Yay, new Johnsons!

Hello and welcome to my party.

See?

I told you you were in costume.

Oh, Village of Johnson people.

Did Dawn put you up to this?

She said she saw you
looking for a costume.

Does this look like
a costume to you?

It does when you
stand next to me.

Back away.

Dawn is so not getting a
Christmas bonus this year.

Hello, Anders.

Wow, you recognize me.

Hello, Tyrone.

Now I know you have
a lot to say to me,

but before you give me the broad
side, can I just say one thing?

I look forward to listen
to what you have to say.

Ty, I don't think
that's going to--

Mike, don't you dare
side with him again.

Fine.
Whatever.

I need to hear this.

Mike tells me
you managed to slip

out of the net of being Hod.

What a bloody, brave
thing to do, son.

That's some major
balls right there.

I salute you, mate.

Love the costumes, boys.

Reminds me of this bar
I know in [inaudible]..

Way to tell him, Ty.

What are you doing?

Making pasta.

Would have thought
that was obvious.

You're making your
famous spaghetti

Bolognese, the one
you make when you're

trying to impress a girl.

No, I'm making it to
welcome Amelia into the fold.

The fold of your
duvet, you wish.

Don't you have a fancy
dress party to go to?

What, did someone
just mention a party?

Johnson family only.

The likes of you and
I are not invited.

To which I am not going.

ZEB: Well, I haven't made
enough pasta to go around,

so if you stay, you're
going hungry, OK?

But you love
dress-up parties, Axl.

We both know that.

Seriously, Amelia?

Have you seriously
forgotten how that ended?

Wait, wait, wait.

Stop, stop.

What?

Zeb.

[gargling]

What about him?

I think he's going to chuck.

Are you for real?

I'm doing you, like, the
biggest favor in your life,

and you're thinking about this?

What if he chokes?

Oh, my God, it is true.

What is?

What everyone
says about you guys.

That you're actually
closet homos,

but you just don't
realize it yet.

That's not true.

OK, then prove it.

Just be with me, here.

Forget about him.

He's a fucking loser, anyway.

How could you
say that about him?

Because it's true.

He adores you.

He worships the
ground you walk on.

I know.

What a loser.

What a pair of losers.

I was young.

We all say stupid
things when we're young.

Just take me to
your party tonight

and we can get it
right this time.

Zeb's cooking you dinner.

There will be other dinners.

I mean, you wanted me back then.

What's different now?

Now I know you're insane.

[scoffs]

OK, I am going to that party.

Sweet, man.

You'll be able to resolve
some family issues well Amelia

and I catch up on old times.

Yeah.

Sure.

Aren't you
forgetting something?

Shit, fancy dress.

Dude, am I not the
man with the best

fancy dress-up box of all time?

Yes, Zeb, you are.

Could have warned me.

I tried, but you were all,
"Don't you dare side with him,"

- so--
- You still want to smack him?

Yes.

I don't know, I'm confused.

It's not funny.

Are we just going to
let him get away with what

he did to us, to our family?

Apparently we are, Ty, because
we're powerless to stop him.

No, this is wrong.

This is not right.

He was a really bad father.

I didn't just
imagine that, right?

No, Ty.

Now there's part of me
that wants to hug him.

How does he do that?

[laughs]

Sick-- fucker.

[music playing]

I don't know why
I couldn't drive.

No one drives my car.

You couldn't have
put your octopus

costume on after we got here?

It's not an octopus.

It's the kraken--
mortal enemy of sailors.

So it's true what they say.

You can't stop the music.

Amusing much?

I'd just like to say,
here and now, how

pleased I am that you fellas
have stuck by each other

all this time.

It's so rare in our kind.

Well, maybe the fuck off and
abandon your family gene skips

a generation.

I'm just saying I'm
proud of you, that's all.

That would've carried a lot
more weight 15 years ago, Dad.

Now there's a costume.

[laughs]

That is for
breaking my one rule.

Hi, Dad.

You haven't aged a day.

That's how you
should have handled it.

I do love a good God party.

What's the one rule?

Never hit a woman.

A cowboy, really?

Not a good day for
our heterosexuality.

Axl.

Hello, Dad.

My lord, Odin.

Odin?

I wasn't sure if it was BYO,
so I just bought a bottle.

Why didn't you tell me the
builder's brother is Odin?

Because of this
moment right now.

Sure, he's a little bit on
the young side for you, but--

Mum.

But he's Odin.

And I'm not Frigg, much
to your disappointment.

True, but he's Odin.

Actually, Mother,
I've already fucked Axl.

That make you happy?

Really?

He was a woman at the time.

OK, I won't ask, but a step
in the right direction for sure.

And I much prefer the builder.

So I guess you've
got two choices here.

You can stick with Njord
and play mummy to Axl,

or go after Odin yourself.

For the record, I take
no pride in what I did.

Fair enough.

Although, it was awesome.

Thank you for doing
what we coudln't.

Bless you, but violence
is not an answer.

Except he totally deserved it.

Yeah, justice was served--

with a squid entree.

[laughing]

Now, go and make peace
with your father.

What?

Why?

Because he's your father.

But he's a knob.

Who is your father.

Are you going to
make peace with him?

He's my son.

I don't have to.

Sons must always make
peace with the father.

He must come to me, just
as you must go to him.

- -and I got us "The
Notebook" to watch after.

"The Notebook" is like
my most favorite movie.

I know.

I learned it from
your Facebook page.

You know, coming from
anyone else, that would be--

totally creepy.

Cheese board?

But you know my happiest
memories of this family?

Our summer afternoons when
you boys would play cricket

out the back of the house.

You trying to bowl
as fast as you could.

You trying to smash the ball
out of the back of the farm.

And Mike could
umpire, pull you apart

when you started fighting.

Those were good days.

You talk to him yet?

How do you feel about
him right at this moment?

Disappointed.

Pissed off.

I want to know why he left us.

Hold onto that feeling.

Keep it right up here.

Why?

You'll find out.

JOE: I'm sorry, what
was the question again?

Why did you hit mum?

Well, I could say I wasn't
entirely happy on that farm.

Yeah, we guessed
that when you took off.

Or I could blame the
drink, or say your mother

was a difficult woman.

Or how when a god and
a goddess get together,

it always turns feral.

But the truth is, I'm a prick.

I'm a prick now, but I
was a bigger prick then.

Could have calmed down, but
I chose not to because I

like the drama, the passion.

Let me tell you, your mother
got a few good blows in.

Then, of course, there
was the makeup sex.

That's mum you're
talking about.

JOE: Yeah, sorry, that
was disrespectful.

Stick to the happy
memories, boys.

They're much healthier.

Are you suddenly
filled with the need

to play backyard cricket?

Yes.

Huh, if only we
had a bat and ball.

[snaps]

Lance has a bat and ball.

Dawn's dickhead boyfriend?

How do we know this?

I once hit a ball
over a neighbor's house

into the next yard, mate.
Have you ever done that?

Well, no, we lived
on a farm, so that

would've been impossible.

Oh, so you haven't actually
played backyard cricket then,

have you?

We played on a paddock
in our backyard, so--

But is that
technically a yard, Ty?

- Is it?
- Yes.

Is it?

Hm, I wonder.

Guys?

Sorry, can we wrap this up?

The movie starts in 20.

Oh, sorry, babe.

Anytime you want to figure
this out mano a mano,

I got a bat and ball.

Huh.

OK, well, off to
Dickhead's house we go.

You're doing a good job.

Turning the sausages?

The boys.

You're a much better
father than I ever was.

The bar wasn't set
very high, was it?

I knew you would be.

Right from when you were young.

Don't you dare.

Don't you dare use me
as your ticket out.

Oh, no, no, no.

I was always going bugger off.

But it just helped me sleep a
smidge easier knowing there was

a born leader at the helm here.

Yeah, and while
he was sleeping easy

and mom was off being a tree, I
spent the best years of my life

raising your bloody kids.

Yeah, any life that I might
have had, instead, no, no.

I spent it bringing
up my brothers.

You-- you made me
old before my time.

Bullshit.

Sorry?

You love running this family.

Don't fool yourself, Michael.

You weren't in charge,
it'd be bloody miserable.

Let me ask you one thing.

If being the boss
is so bloody awful,

they're all grown up now.

Why aren't you off
surfing in Mexico

or sleeping with
unsuitable women?

That answer is
because you think you

were born to lead this clan.

Joe, come and dance with me.

JOE: You know what
dancing leads to?

KAREN: That's what I'm hoping.

[laughing]

[music playing]

Ugh, who invited that turd?

Yeah, I heard
that, Axl Johnson.

Like I care.

Colin, you came.

And I might just come again
looking at you, you saucy fish.

[laughing]

Ho!

Michael Johnson.

Colin.

Look at you, you
macho, macho man.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I do love a Lervin party.

Axl, we haven't talked yet.

Apparently talking to
you is some kind of game.

Well, it's just talking.

We've got a lot to
say to each other.

You must have 100 questions.

Yeah, I do, starting with
why the hell are you here?

It's easy.

I'm here because of you.

Nice decor.

Late cavemen period?

Oh, Hi, Dawn.

Anders.

What are you doing here?

Gleaning sporting equipment.

What are you doing?

I was asleep.

Why?

What made you tired, Dawn?

That is none of your business.

Oh, it's a business thing.

Taking delivery of
a special package?

So, you're saying there's
no chance I can play, bro?

No, it's a family honor
thing, but thanks for this.

No, I get that.

I get that, bro.

There's a ding in
this bat for when

my sister smashed me
over the back of the head

after a disputed run out.

We're friends now, but
that's a true story, bro.

Also, don't you have
something else to do?

Leaving now.

See you, mate.

To be honest, here's the last
place on earth I want to be.

But for the last two years,
ever since you turned 21,

I'll bet every move I've
made, every ship I've sailed

is conspired to bring
me towards here.

Every time I tried to sail
in the opposite direction,

it was like the sea
would turn on me

and I'd end up closer,
not further away.

I realize now I was
being driven back to you.

But I didn't do anything.

You became Odin.

The sea is under your command.

Then why did it attack me?

Sorry?

Last time I was
in the sea, there

were these weird flashing
light things that attacked me.

Mutiny?

Intriguing.

Now you answer my question.

I've answered yours.

I've got lots
more, like, how could

you abandon us for starters?

Well, we need to make
time to answer them.

Why are you so unhappy?

You're Odin, son.

Why are you so miserable?

Because I'm as useless
at being Odin as I

am everything else in my life?

How can Odin
possibly be useless?

It just is, OK?

Don't even have the balls
to sort out his own flat,

Say what needs to be said.

And what's that?

Why do you care?

Because after
you tell me, Odin

will go and sort it the fuck
out, which is what Odin does.

[giggling]

They get on well.

The thing about a Lervin party
is there's always a point when

dignity leaves the building.

Vomiting comes next.

I'm just going to pop
out, help Axl for a bit.

You keep on doing that
thing you do so well.

Where are you going?

Going on a mission.

Can I have a word?

You OK?

Fine, apart from
being over you

asking me if I'm OK with that.

Are you OK being with him?

Mm-hmm, yeah, we talked.

And that is-- it was fine.

Yeah, I bet it was.

We're going for, like, half
an hour, Mike, to do one thing.

Then we're coming back.

Yeah, right.

You want me to come with you?

I can make my own fucking
life decisions, Mike.

I'm not saying otherwise.

Yeah, you are.

[mutters]

Where's your car?

Broken.

I walked.

Is this Olaf's car?

Yeah.

We'll take that.

Joe, will this
thing take long?

Twinkling of an eye, my sweet.

He used to keep a
spare under here in case

he left the other in his
pocket when he was surfing.

Bingo.

[car starts]

[engine revving]

You know he's not ever
coming back, don't you?

Nonsense.

Why wouldn't he?

It's so beautiful the
way they die holding hands.

I wish all men were
like Ryan Gosling.

Hey, Axl, how was your party?

Dude, I need to
tell you something.

I should've told you a long time
ago, but you need to know now.

Amelia only ever hung out
with you to get to me.

She doesn't give a
shit about you at all.

Of course she cares about me.

We were the Three Musketeers.

Oh, Zeb.

Whoa, whoa, what are you--

Wake up!

She is a fruit bat and a user,
and she'll never, ever sleep

with you in a million years.

You need to know this because
it is just embarrassing watching

her use you as her doormat.

No, no, no, no.

You've always had it
in for her because she

liked me more than you
because I am decent and human.

And in return, she treats
you as her little monkey boy.

When you realize what
an insane grade A psycho

you've invited into
our home, call me.

Our home?

It's in my name, dude.

Get out of my flat.

AXL: Fine, I'm going.

I am not a psycho!

Amelia, that hurt.

You need to get help.

Seriously, get some.

What?

And?

That was not fun.

I didn't say it would be.

We should go somewhere.

Do something.

OK, I'm going to
suggest the hospital.

What?

I don't want to
alarm you, Axl,

but you have a knife
sticking out of your back.

Huh?

And he took my car.

Yes, Grandpa, and Axl.

No apology, and he took my car.

Oh, he will pay and pay
if I ever see him again.

Axl said they'll be
gone, like, half an hour.

Which is, what, five
years in Joe time?

Exactly.

So shall we go after them?

To get my car back?

Hell yes!

To get Axl.

Mistakes are what
we learn from, Mike,

like never telling
your son where

you leave your spare car keys.

[screaming]

Njord?

Njord is nothing.

He's an ugly, crusty old
relic compared to you.

You are better off without him.

Without him?

That is certainly applicable.

And you can be a little more
supportive of your mother,

you know.

And you two could
get a room, you know?

Ah, Batman.

And his offsider, ball boy.

[laughs]

Where's Joe?

Joe has gone.

Why?

Because gods always shoot
the gap when given the chance.

Eh, mum?

You are a bitch of a daughter.

Where nature meets
nurture, Mother.

Well, at least
with all your family

boo-hoo issues out of the way,
we can get down to business,

eh?

What business?

Whoops, has Anders
failed to mention

he's my campaign manager?

Gunderson for mayor!

Counting on all your votes.

My very highly paid
campaign manager.

How could you do that?

Could we take this outside.

Whoops.

I feel distinctly unwell.

Fantastic at throwing
parties, crap at ending them.

Well, at least with
your mother hurling

gives us a chance to be alone.

You know, you are
even more beautiful

than the real Cleopatra.

If the statue is anything to
go by, she was a bit of a dog.

You say the loveliest things.

If you're looking for
an asp for those breasts,

I have a snake.

Wow, my knees have gone weak.

Oh, wait, they haven't.

Came prepared.

[laughs]

[groans]

Not prepared enough.

OK, standard rules.

Over the wall, on
the roof, you're out.

Plus you go get it.

I know the rules, Anders,
which is more than you.

Oh, here comes the sanctimony.

You know what your problem?

You have no respect
to this family.

You think you're above us.

Fuck you, "Mr. I Think
I'm Too Good To Be A God."

Oh, you're calling
me a traitor?

That's rich.

Uh, yeah, no, that's out.

What?
Fuck off.

Yeah.
Leg before.

You're out.
Give me the bat.

Bullshit.
It was missing the stumps.

No, it wasn't.
Give me the bat.

Oh, you want the bat?
Fine.

Take it.

I will.

[muttering]
Oh, what?

You're going to take this out
on me now because you're too

dickless to front up to Dad?

Maybe he'd still be here so I
could if you hadn't slapped me

like the little bitch you are.

I'll slap you.

Hey, knock it off.

Oh, great, he
comes our other dad.

TY: At least he's not a traitor.

Hey, how's your
girlfriend Dawn, Ty?

Fuck you!

[grunting, groaning]

This is more like it.

Hey, I'm sick and
tired of the both of you.

Just grow up.

You grow up, you wanker.

[grunting, groaning]

Cut it out, the lot of you.

Don't make me
unleash the kraken,

because you know I will.

God, this is it.

This is what Joe does.

This is his wake.

Is he dead?

No, what the
ship leaves behind.

Once the oil is
dispersed-- troubled water.

Your father has gone.

He left a long time ago,
and what you saw today

was an apparition.

You're men for fuck's sakes.

Act like men.

You, Dances with Dudes, you
are out and you know it.

Go keep wicket.

What?

Don't whine.

The kraken's decision is final.

Stace, you're batting.

Choice!

No, I got him out,
so I get to bat.

You're only letting
her bat 'cause

you're sleeping with her.

Inside.

You're sending me off?

I'm sending you
inside to get beer.

We got backyard cricket to play.

Mike, you umpire.

Can I play for once?

No.

Having you on a team--

not a level playing field.

I will bowl.

[music playing]

Change of plan.

Michele will bowl.

I'll cover all the fielding
positions over here.

[cheering]

I had a knife in
my back, and all

he did was pull it out and
stick a fancy Band-Aid on it.

Well, but they let
you keep the knife.

Souvenir of how useless I am.

You are not useless.

You are Odin, who by
definition is not useless.

Well, this one
feels like he is.

You taking off, aren't you?

Thought I might head down
to Norsewood, actually.

Take a look at
the old homestead.

Fancy a road trip?

I'll answer all your questions
just as long as we're moving.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

That's my boy.

You drive.

[music playing]