All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S06E33 The International Set 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- Eastman Kodak Company
is happy to bring you

America's favorite
family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times
together, and, like most of us,

they enjoy them over
again in pictures,

in black and white, and, of
course, in beautiful color

snapshots.

- I was showing these color
snapshots to a friend of mine.

And he said, "Sure,
color pictures are fine,

but I don't have
a color camera."

I said to him, "Well, you
don't need a special camera

to take color pictures.

Every camera's a color camera."

And I showed him
this Kodacolor film.

See, it says
"Kodacolor" right here.

All you do is put this film in
a camera you've got right now.

I thought you'd might like
to know about this, too.

You can get just
terrific color pictures

with your present snapshot
or miniature camera

in the new Kodacolor film.

Try it, and you'll
see what I mean.

- And now, Kodak invites
you to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- That's not bad.

- Yeah, it's a pretty
good putter, Oz.

It ought to take at least a
half stroke off your game.

- What are you talking
about a half a stroke?

- Well, you know that half
the stroke is the putter,

and the other half
is the guy who's

doing the putting
with the putter.

So if you can get somebody to
do your putting for you, why,

you can take the other half off.

- That's all the
earmarks of an insult.

- [laughs]

- Nothing wrong with my putting.

- All right, let's see.

[door buzzer]

[laughs] You see?

- Well, somebody buzzed
the buzzer just now...

- Oh, yes, there's
always something.

[door buzzer]

- Come in, come in,
whoever you are.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson.
Hi, Mr. Darby.

- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Wally.

- Is Dave home?
- Yeah, he's right upstairs.

- Oh, thanks.
How do you like my outfit?

- Oh, it's pretty jazzy.

I knew that Ivy League
would never last, eh, Darb?

- What are you
dressed up for, Wally?

- Oh, the yodeling season.

Oh, Dave?

[yodeling]

- [yodeling]

- That means he'll
be right down.

- Oh, I'm glad you
cleared that up.

- Oh, I see you got it.

- Yeah, I got it over
at the party shop.

They give you a free
Lawrence Welk polka

album with every outfit.

- Uh, would you mind telling
me what this getup is for?

- Yeah, it's for
International Week at school.

You know, sort of a welcome
for the exchange students.

I'm going to get one, too.

- Yeah, our fraternity's
giving a Bavarian type party.

We're fixing up the house
like a Bavarian inn.

- Oh, that sounds
like quite a deal.

- Yeah, the whole thing
may not be over for weeks.

Oh, Dave, the party
shop said they'd

have our stuff ready tonight.
- Oh, good.

Come on, I'll help you take
it over to the fraternity.

- Oh, fine.
Bye, Mr. Darby.

Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.
- Goodbye, Wally.

See you later, Dave.
- So long, fellas.

OK.

Hey, that sounds like fun.

- Yeah.

Hey, when was the last time
we had a costume party, Oz?

- Well, we had one here at
our house about a year ago.

Remember the Hawaiian luau?

- Yeah, that's right.

I came dressed as a beach boy.

- Good shot.

Yeah, I remember you
wanted to take a leap out

of the dining room table and go
surf boarding in our bathtub.

- I don't remember
any such thing.

- Well, that figures.

- Somebody ought to give
another party like that.

You know, one where we
can all get dressed up.

- Yeah, that might
be fun, at that.

- Don't make it a
golfing party, Oz.

Even with the right
costume, you could never

make anybody believe
you were a golfer.

- Did Darby go?
- Yeah.

What are you doing?

- Cutting off the
bottom of these pants

for David's Bavarian costume.

- Oh, gee, it's a shame to
ruin a pair of David's pants.

- Oh, these aren't David's.

They're yours.

- They're mine?

Well, Harriet, what are you
ruining a pair of my pants for?

- So I won't have to
ruin a pair of David's.

- Well, gee, I was saving these.

- For what?

- Well, to wear, of course.

- You haven't worn
them in six years.

- Well, I might want
to wear them someday.

- You couldn't get into them.

- Well, I might
lose some weight.

- Planning on getting sick?

- No, but I could go on a diet.

- OK, you go on a diet, and I'll
buy you a new pair of pants.

- Hey, where did this come from?

- From your closet.

- Gee, it looks familiar, but
I never had a hat like this.

- You have now.

- Hey, where did you
get these feathers?

- Out of your fishing box.

I had the hardest time
getting the hooks out of them.

- Harriet, these are very
expensive fishing lures.

- Did you ever catch
any fish with them?

- What's that got to do with it?

- What are you
complaining about?

- What am I complaining about?

You dismantled my fishing
lures, remodeled my hat,

cut the bottoms off my
trousers just so David

could have a Bavarian costume.

- Well, it's worth it.

They'll probably
have a lot of fun.

- Well, I suppose so.

In fact, Darb and I were
just talking about that.

You know, it's been
an awful long time

since anybody in
the neighborhood

here had a party where we could
get dressed up in costumes.

- Why don't we give one?

- What kind?

- Well--

- Let me put it another way.

What clothes do we
have left that we

could cut up for costumes?

[chuckles]

- I don't know.

Let's look in your closet.

- No, no, let's look in
your closet for a change.

- Why don't we just rent
them down at the party shop?

- Hey, here's something
that will work just fine.

How about this?

It'd make a good
Japanese costume.

- Well, that's what it is.

It's a kimono.

Your mother sent it
to me from Nagasaki.

- Are you kidding?

My mother was never in Nagasaki.

- Look at the label.

- "Nagasaki Tea Shop.

Atlantic City, New Jersey."

This would be just fine.

We could fix up the house
with some Japanese lanterns,

order some Japanese sukiyaki.

- Who will we invite?

- Everybody in the neighborhood.

The Darbys, the Randolphs.

- How will we let
them know about it?

- Well, I thought
you could send them

some invitations on rice paper.

- What about the food?

- Well, you could
phone the caterer.

He'd send up some Japanese food.

- And the decorations?

- Oh, you could pick
those up someplace.

- Exactly what are
you going to do?

- Me?

Well, Harriet, this
whole thing was my idea.

- Well, good morning, Oz.

- Oh, good morning, Darb.

- Congratulations.

- On what?

- Paying your bill.

- Oh!

Those aren't bills.

In fact, I may have a little
difficulty paying 'em.

I have news for you.

Harriet and I decided to
give a party, you know,

like we were talking
about last night.

- Oh, well, that's
a coincidence.

Sally and I did too.

In fact, these are the
invitations right here.

Hey, wait a minute.
What's your theme?

What kind of a party
are you giving?

- Oh, a Japanese sukiyaki party.

- Oh.

[chuckles] Had me scared
there for a minute.

Ours is a Mexican theme.

You know, enchiladas and stuff.

- Oh, gee, that sounds like fun.

I have a big Mexican
sombrero up in the attic.

I can wear that.

- Oh, we can probably find
something Japanese to wear.

I know I've got an old ivory
back-scratcher around the house

someplace.

- Oh, well, you might
get a little chilly.

- [laughs] Well, we'll
look forward to it, Oz.

- Yeah, that sounds good.

- So long.

Oz?

- Uh, uh, Saturday night.

- So is ours.

- Yeah, so I figured
the best thing to do

would be to call our party off.

OK, then we'll see
you at the Darbys.

Bye, Clara.

- [SINGING IN SPANISH]

- Oh, greetings, Jose.

- I found this stuff
up in the attic.

Did you call everybody up?
- Yeah, just about.

They were all pretty
relieved, too.

They couldn't figure out
which party to go to.

- Yeah, well, I--
- Mr. Darby's here to see you.

- OK, I'll be right there.

Oh, uh, you haven't called
the Darbys yet, have you?

- No, not yet.
- Well, good.

I'll tell him.

Wait till he sees this outfit.

[chuckles] [SINGING SPANISH] I
am macho grande, Pancho Villa.

[music playing]

Darb!

- Hibachi, hibachi.

May I present unworthy self
to tea house of Ozzie Nelson?

- What the heck is this?

- [chuckles] I just came
over to show you my costume

for your Japanese party.

We've called ours off.

- Well, that's great.

Why do you suppose
I'm wearing this?

- Well, I don't know.

Don't you always
dress like that?

- We called our party off, too!

- You did, honestly?

- Well, yes!

Oh, this is getting ridiculous.

- Well, I'd commit hari-kari,
except this is a rented outfit.

- Hey, wait a minute, Darb.

Here's an idea.

Why don't we get together,
pick out one theme

and give a party between us?

- Now you're talking sense.

- Let's give a Mexican
party at your house.

- No, no.

Let's give a Japanese
party over here.

- I'll toss you for it.

- OK.

You got a coin?

- If I'm able to find the
pockets to these pants.

- Got something here.

I don't know.

Yeah.
- What is that?

- I don't know.

It must be a yen.

- Toss it up.

- OK.

Heads, we have a Mexican theme.

And tails, a Japanese theme.

OK?

- Go ahead.

- Tails.

I win.

- How can you tell
which side is tails?

- Well, there's
no head on there.

Just a picture of
Mount Fujiyama.

- "Tokyo Rapid Transit System."

This is a Japanese
streetcar token.

Let's make it a
Mexican theme, huh?

Those enchiladas
always taste so good.

- But what am I going to
do about this costume?

- Here's an idea.

You could come as the
Japanese ambassador to Mexico.

- Well, I probably can exchange
it for something Mexican.

- I think the only
fair way is for one guy

to decorate his house, and the
other guy to order the food.

OK?
- OK.

- Why don't you, uh,
decorate your house?

- No, no, no, let's flip.

Heads, you decorate your
house, and I'll buy the food.

And tails, I decorate my
house, and you buy the food.

- OK.

Heads, you decorate your house--

- No, no, no.

Tails, I decorate my house,
and you buy the food.

- OK, toss it.

- Now wait.

I've forgotten which is
heads and which is tails.

- Well, the side with
the hole in it is heads.

- Wait a minute, the hole
goes all the way through.

No, no, come on.

[music playing]

- Now, let me see
what we have here.

I'll be right with you.

- Oh, thank you.

Now, you called
everybody and told them

the party was on again, that
it's a Mexican costume party

at our house, right?
- Yes, I did.

And I had the feeling that they
weren't sure what was going on.

I hope you know.

- Harriet, I told
you, I lost the toss.

It came up Tokyo
Rapid Transit Company,

so we take care of
the decorations,

and Darby's going
to order the food.

- Now may I help you?

- Oh, yes, please.

We're going to give a Mexican
fiesta type party at our house

tomorrow night, and we'd like
to order some decorations.

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

We just rented out all of
our Mexican decorations.

- Oh, that's a shame.

- But we have some
nice oriental things.

May I suggest a
Japanese sukiyaki party?

Have you ever thought of that?

- I think it's been
mentioned on and on.

- This is definitely a
Mexican costume party.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Here's the order right here.

All the Mexican
decorations we had

were just sent out to
a-- to a Mr. Darby.

- Mr. Darby?

Well, he was supposed to
take care of the food.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, I-- I--

I'm sorry.

No, wait a minute, Harriet.

This is great.

Darb's decorating his
house, and all we have to do

is order the food.

- I hope.

- Well-- no, no, I'm positive.

No, no, wait a minute.

Now that I think of it, Tokyo
Rapid Transit wasn't heads.

Fujiyama was.

Thank you just the same.

- Oh, that's quite all right.

You know, Stanley, no
matter how hard I try,

I just can't seem to understand
this modern jive talk.

[music playing]

- I hope you got this right.

In other words, we're supposed
to order the Mexican food.

- Well, evidently.

See, that's what I wanted
to do in the first place.

- Hi, Oz, Harriet.
- Hi, Darb.

- Oh, hi, Darb.

- I saw you drive up,
so I came right over.

What kind of
decorations did you get?

- Well, are you kidding?

The woman told us you
ordered all the Mexican stuff

they had in the place.

- Well, yes, but
that was before.

That's when I thought we
were going to give the party.

- Oh, well, as long as
it's all over your house,

why don't we just move
the party over there?

- [laughs] I'm afraid
you're too late, Oz.

The kids have beaten you to it.

- What kids?

- Ricky, and my youngster,
and the other teenagers.

You see, when they found
out we called our party off,

they took the decorations
and decided to give

a Mexican party of their own.

- Over at your house?

- Yeah.
- Well, that's great.

What are we supposed to do?

- Now, don't get excited, Oz.

We'll have the
Japanese party here.

- Over here?

- Well, that's what you wanted
to do in the first place.

- Well, I wanted to order the
food in the first place, too.

- I have already
ordered the food.

- Japanese food?

- No, Oz.

Mexican food.

Don't you remember?

You were supposed
to get the props,

and I was supposed
to order the food.

- Mexican food at
a Japanese party?

- Then cancel the food
and order Japanese food.

- Darby's supposed to
take care of the food.

- Well, I think it'd be less
confusing if one person handled

the whole deal.

- I think you're right, Harriet.
Oz, you call up.

Here.

Here's the caterer's number.

I'm going to go home and
sharpen my hari-kari knife.

- Well, well, you
oughta do something.

Suppose you call up all
the people and tell them

we've changed the party
from a Mexican party

to a Japanese party.

- Your honorable wishes
will be carried out.

- Sometimes he gives me an
honorable pain in the sukiyaki.

- Hello?
- Hello?

Is this the catering service?
- Yes, it is.

May I help you?

- Yeah, do you
have an order there

for some Mexican food for Darby?

- Uh, yes, I have.

- Well, would you mind
canceling it, please?

- Is there anything
wrong, Mr. Darby?

- No, this is Mr. Nelson.

Remember you catered our
New Year's Eve party?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson.

And you're canceling
Mr Darby's order?

- Yes, that's right.

He was going to give the party,
but now we're going to give it.

- Oh, then you want us to
deliver the Mexican food

to your house?

- Yes, that's right, except
that I want the Mexican food

to be Japanese.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, uh, cancel the
order for the Mexican food

and deliver the same amount
of Japanese food to my house.

You still have our
address, don't you?

- I'm sure I do, Mr. Nelson.

Do you want that delivered
at the same time Mr Darby

wanted it?

- Yeah, that's right, but
to our address, of course.

- Oh, yes.

Yes, of course.

Well, thank you, Mr. Darby.

- No, this is Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, yes, Nelson.
Thank you.

We'll have it there.

- It's perfect.

Now all we have to do is
round up a few shrunken heads,

and you're in business.

- Now, are sure you don't
have any Japanese stuff?

- No.

As I said, the college
practically cleaned us out.

Wait a second.

How about India?

I've got some turbans,
water pipes, big cushions,

a couple of cobra baskets.

You could fix up your place
to look like the Taj Mahal.

- Hey, that doesn't
sound bad at all.

- Well, let me look out in back
and see what else I've got.

- Oh, say, do you mind if
I use your phone a minute?

I want to call my wife.

- No, no, go right ahead.

- Oh, thank you.

- You mean they don't have
any Japanese stuff at all?

- None at all, but I've
got something just as good.

We're going to fix
up the house-- oh!

The bone just fell
out of my nose.

Uh, we're going to fix
up the house like India.

So you call up
everybody Darby called

and tell them not to come
as Mexicans, because we're

going to be Japanese, and tell
them to wear Indian costumes.

No, no, no, not
American-Indian, now.

That's right.

You know, like the Taj Mahal.

OK, I'll see you
in a little while.

Bye.

- This is beautiful, dear.

What are you going to wear?

- I've got a maharajah's
outfit with a big turban

and everything.

- Have you called
the caterer yet?

- I'm calling him right now.

Hello?

This is Mr. Nelson again.

Remember I called yesterday
to cancel Mr. Darby's

Mexican dinner and substitute
Japanese food instead

at my house instead
of at his house?

- Oh, yes, I remember.

- Well, if it's not
too much trouble,

I'd like to change the
Japanese dinner menu.

- Yes, sir.

- Instead of having
a Japanese party,

we're going to have
India as the motif,

so we'll need some
chutney and curry.

You know, whatever it
is they eat in India.

- Yes, sir, we'll
take care of it.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- Not at all.

Hey, Joe?
- Yeah?

- Have you started
the Nelson order yet?

- No, I was just going
to start the tamales.

- Tamales?

He canceled that order.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, he wanted Japanese food.

- Oh, I'd better
get that started.

- No, he canceled that, too.

- What does he want?

- Oh, he wants some
curry and stuff,

but don't start it for a while.

I'll give you odds he
changes his mind again

in the next half hour.

[music playing]

- Well, bring on the Bavarians.
I'm ready.

- Come on, Wally.
You know the rules.

- Who made you the housemother?

- No beer drinking, except
on special occasions.

- No, this is milk.

I'm just getting in the mood.

- If you really want
to get in the mood,

why don't you try goat's milk?

- Ech.

Now you spoiled my whole day.

- You got a dime?

- You just won't quit, will you?

- I got to phone the caterers.

- Oh.

Well, hold this.

Tell me, Herr Nelson, how
many pfennigs do you need?

- Just one to make a phone call.

- Jawohl.

Wait a minute.

Which number are you calling?
- This one.

- Oh.
Well, don't call this one.

She belongs to me.

- Go drink your milk.

- Down the ole auf Wiedersehen.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- Hello?

Is this the catering service?

- Yes, it is.

- Well, my name is Nelson.

- Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson.

I told you.

What can we do for you?

- Well, I'd like to
order some Bavarian food.

- Excuse me, I think we
have a bad connection.

Did you say Bavarian food?

- Yes, that's right.

- You mean like Wiener
schnitzel and sauerkraut?

- Yeah, that sounds good.

Whatever you suggest.

You'd know more about
that than I would.

It's for about 30 people
at the house here.

- Yes, well, we'll take
care of it for you.

You see?

I told you not to
start the curry.

This crazy guy wants
Bavarian food now.

- Well, should I
start making it?

I say, should I start making it?

- Yeah, I heard you.

I'm just trying to
figure it out myself.

Look, if Nelson calls
again, just tell him

he's got the wrong number.

- Looks pretty
authentic, doesn't it?

- Isn't it nice?

Say, listen, the leaf won't
fit in the dining room table.

It's all warped.

- Then he did go
surf-boarding in the bathtub.

[door buzzer]

Oh, here they are.

[native american chanting]

Wow!

- How come you're dressed
in an outfit like that?

- Harriet, didn't you tell
them what kind of Indians?

- I thought I said
Indian-Indians.

- Well, whatever
it is, here we are.

- And how!

All right, the squaws
will set up the teepees.

Braves, follow me
to the firewater.

[native american chanting]

- Ah.

[chuckles] This is ridiculous.

[laughter]

- I got your smoke
signal, fellas.

The food's here, if you
want to give us a hand.

- Good.

Me hungry.

- I hope you like
rice and curry.

- Here we are.

You want to serve it up, Darb?
- Ug.

Uh, that means "yes."

[laughter]

Hey, what is this?

- Why, it's rice,
and curry, and...

sauerkraut!

- This is Wiener schnitzel.

- Harriet, what's the
matter with that caterer?

I ordered Indian food!

What kind of Indian
food is this?

- Yeah, but this
is Wiener schnitzel

for pumpernickel Indians.

[laughter]

- Hi, everybody.
- Hiya, Rick.

- Hi, Rick.
- Hey, can we borrow some food?

- I thought you were
going to call the caterer.

- I did, but they kept telling
me I had the wrong number.

And finally, they said Pop
had canceled our order.

- Well, there's
been quite a mix-up.

Look, would you kids like
some Wiener schnitzel

and sauerkraut?
- Si, senora.

- Si!

- Si.

- This looks like it's
going to be quite a party.

- Yeah.

Hiya, kids.

- This way to the oasis.

[chatter]

- Hey, Pop!

Where are you going with
our Wiener schnitzel?

- Well, hi!

Is this yours, Dave?

- Yeah, it was supposed
to be delivered

to the fraternity house.

- Oh, how about that?

The darn caterer got
everything mixed up.

Well, go ahead take it, Dave.

- No, that's all right.
I brought the party over here.

- Oh, hi, kids.
- Hi.

- Hi.

- See if we can
figure this thing out.

- Excuse me, Mrs. Nelson.

Perhaps I can help.

- Uh, this is Fumiko Yamaguchi.

This is my mother and father.
- How do you do?

- Oh, how do you do?

- She's one of the
exchange students.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

- Well, if I had a
little more time,

I could prepare very good
native dish for your party.

- Oh, well, that
would be wonderful.

- Well, yeah.

And meanwhile, let's
adjourn to the Taj Mahal.

[laughter]

- Fine, we'll go this way.

[music playing]

- [SINGING] I'll walk alone.

They'll ask me why, and
I'll tell them I'd rather.

There are dreams I must gather,
dreams we talked of the night

you held me tight.

I'll always be near you,
wherever you are each night,

in every prayer.

If you call, I'll hear
you, no matter how far.

Just close your eyes,
and I'll be there.

Please walk alone and send
your love and your kisses

to guide me.

Till you're walking beside
me, I'll walk alone.

[applause]

- Attention, everybody!

Here it is, a native dish
prepared by Fumiko Yamaguchi.

- What is it?

- Pizza pie, Tokyo style.

- We'll pass it around.

You help yourselves.

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Well,
I've got a gal.

Her name is Shirley Lee.

[cheering]

Yeah, I got a little woman.

Her name is Shirley Lee.

Well, Shirley Lee,
you're the one for me.

Well, Shirley Lee.

You know Shirley Lee.

That's Shirley Lee.

Well, Shirley Lee.

That's Shirley Lee,
you're the one for me.

Yeah!

[cheering]

Well, come to me, baby.

Come to me, baby, now.

Well, come to me, baby.

Come to me, baby, now.

Yeah, come to me, baby.

I'll love you somehow.

Well, Shirley Lee.

You know Shirley Lee.

Yeah, Shirley Lee.

Woo!

Shirley Lee.

Yeah, Shirley Lee,
you're the one for me.

[applause and cheering]

[ending theme]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are
brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak
Company, who remind you

that May time is picture time.

This weekend, put your
good times in pictures

and order extra prints for
your family and friends.

- Hire the handicapped.

It's good business.

Many employers know that, and
they do hire the handicapped.

A survey conducted by the
United States government

showed that disabled workers
have better safety records.

So when you need help,
hire the handicapped.

They're safe workers,
reliable workers.

And with safety
records like theirs,

you'll be doubly
glad you hired them.

So call your local office of the
state employment service today.

- This has been
an ABC television

network film presentation.