All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S06E32 The Magic Of Three 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- Eastman Kodak Company
is happy to bring you

America's favorite
family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times
together, and, like most of us,

they enjoy them over again
in pictures, in snapshots,

and, of course, in
their own home movies.

- We sure do get a kick
out of our home movies.

Harriet and I wouldn't part
with them for anything.

And as time passes, they'll
mean even more to Dave and Rick.

It sure is a wonderful thing to
have such a photographic record

of your family.

And nowadays, it really is easy.

I've shot pictures with all of
Kodak's Brownie movie cameras,

and they're a cinch to use.

So why not make your
family movie stars?

- Now you can save nearly
$10 on Brownie movie cameras,

by Kodak.

Ask your dealer to show
them to you this week.

And now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

[laughter]

- You know, I
still don't see how

we got roped into this thing.

- Oh, it'll be a lot of fun.

- Well, they say
it'll be a lot of fun,

but why do we have to
wait on tables, too?

- Yeah, the Women's Club
are giving the affair.

Why don't they
wait on the tables?

- Well, it's all in the
Gay Nineties spirit.

[piano playing]

Oh, uh, let's leave
out the high finish.

I'm getting a little hoarse.

- [SINGING] They
call her Frivolous

Sal, a peculiar sort of a gal.

With a heart that was mellow,
an all-round good fellow,

was my old pal.

Your troubles,
sorrow, and care, she

was always willing to share.

A wild sort of fellow, but dead
on the level was my gal Sal.

- You think maybe we
were over-trained?

[laughter]

Why don't we try
it just once more?

And, Butch, can you sing
just a little softer?

And, Doc, maybe you
sing a little louder?

And, Darb, uh, uh, sing a
little better, huh, Darb?

[laughter]

- After all, you know,
this is my piano.

- Just this time, huh?

[laughter]

I think the Women's
Club ought to vote

you a pension for making
all these costumes.

- I don't mind.

Yours and Doc's are
just about finished.

I have a little more to do on
Darby's and Butch Barton's.

Ricky, did you find
Mr. Darby's costume?

- Yeah, I got it on.

At your service, ma'am.

- Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

You look like a
real Gay Nineties.

- Oh, thank you.

I think maybe I'll grow
one of these myself.

- Hey, no eating on the job.

- I'm on a cookie break.

- Be careful with
that costume, now.

The seams are only basic.

- Who's in the quartet
Saturday night?

- Oh, Mr. Barton, and Mr.
Darby, and Doc Williams,

and your father.

- Uh, we're going
to be waiters, too.

It might be kind of difficult.
There's quite an art, you know,

to balancing those
big, heavy trays.

- What's so difficult about it?

- Well, there are ways and
ways of carrying dishes.

You can push them around
on those little carts,

or you could lug them
around with two hands,

but the real waiters balance
them on one hand like this.

- Well, you can
probably do it, too.

- As a matter of
fact, it's a lot

like a halfback running
through a broken field.

Handling one of
those things just

requires a little
maneuverability

and quick reflexes, ability
to dodge here and there,

keep your balance.

- I don't see the connection.

- Well, uh, for instance,
suppose I'm a waiter.

And let's say this is
a crowded restaurant

with a lot of tables.

Now, there are people sitting
over here, sitting over here.

Now I come through
the swinging doors,

I'll move over this way,
move around this way.

Somebody steps in front of me.
Somebody steps--

- Oh!

[glass breaks]

[laughs]

- That's my Pop.

- By George, that's hilarious.

[music playing]

- Well, hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Darb.

- What are you doing over here?

Are you waiting for a bus, too?

- No, I was just going
to go in the China shop.

Do you want to join me?
- No, I can't.

I've got to get home.

I must have just missed the bus.

I've been waiting here
for quite a little while.

You know, Oz, I'm convinced
those bus drivers just

wait till they see me coming,
and they give it the gas.

- [laughs]

- What did you say
you were going to get?

- Oh, I want to get
a dish for Harriet.

How's your voice?

In good shape for the big night?

- Ah, right in the pink, boy.

How's yours?

- Well, I don't know, Darb.

I'm kind of worried
about that big finish.

- What are you worried about?

- Well, that's easy
for you to say.

I have to sustain that
high note at the end.

- Oh, you'll make it.

I have faith in you.

Hey, what did you say you
were getting, Harriet, a dish?

One dish?

- Uh, yeah, we broke a dish
at our house last night.

- Who broke it?

- Well, what difference
does that make?

Come on in with me.

- I might just as well.

Ozzie, I'm going to write
a letter to the bus company

about this awful service.

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
May I help you?

- My friend here--

- I'd like to replace
a broken dish.

- I see.

Could you give me some
idea of the pattern?

- Yes, it was rather
a large, uh, dish.

My wife said she bought it here.

- Well, why don't we
take a look around

and see if we can find
anything that resembles it?

- Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

- Uh, who did you say
broke the plate, Oz?

- I didn't say.

- Was it David?

- I didn't say.
- Ricky?

- No.

- Harriet, maybe?

- Uh, Darb, I'm sure this
gentleman would rather

have us finish our business
and get out of here.

He's not interested
in who broke the dish.

- OK.

- Who did break it?

- And how did you break it, Oz?

- I'm perfectly willing to
take the responsibility for one

broken dish.

Oh, here we are.

This, uh, green one
with the gold border.

- Oh.

- Well, that didn't
take long, did it?

- [chuckles]

- How did you say you
broke the plate, Oz?

- Why are you so
interested, Darb?

- I merely want to get
the facts, that's all.

After all, insurance companies
can use statistics like that.

- Well, I was just, uh,
demonstrating to the boys

the similarity between a
football player running

through a broken
field and a waiter

carrying a large tray of dishes.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, just it requires
the same dexterity, you see?

Now--

[plate breaks]

Oh, for goodness sakes, Darb!

- Well, don't look at me, Coach.

After all, I was
blocked out of the play.

- Don't worry about it.

It isn't very expensive.

- Oh, well, nevertheless,
I insist on paying for it.

- Well, that's not what
I'm concerned about.

It just so happens that
that's the last dish

we have in that pattern.

- Well, uh, maybe I can glue the
pieces together or something.

Why don't you wrap it up,
and I'll take it with me?

- All right.

- Say, maybe you'd
better gift wrap it, huh?

- That's very funny.

- [laughs] Boy, I sure
have to hand it to you, Oz.

- Oh, what are you
talking about, Darb?

- Well, after all, it isn't
everybody who can break a dish

and then replace it with
another broken dish.

[laughs] Boy, I sure hope you
don't break anything tomorrow

night.

- I'm not going to break
anything tomorrow night!

This was just a
coincidence, that's all.

- Sure, it was.

But after all, now
you're a two-time loser.

- Well, so what?

- Well, it'd be
pretty embarrassing

if you drop a tray
full of dishes

right in front of the
whole Women's Club.

And you know the old saying,
everything happens in threes.

- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

That's a silly superstition.

Look, you worry about your
dishes tomorrow night,

and I'll worry about mine.

- All right, but I am willing
to bet you break something else.

- OK, you've got a bet.

- Well, here we are.

That'll be $2 even,
including the tax.

- Oh.

Ooh!

- Oh, jeez.

- Sorry.

- Uh, thank you.

- My friend just
said a silly thing.

He said just because
I broke two things,

I was sure to break a third.

[chuckles]
- Oh.

[laughs]

- It's just superstition.

Well, come on, worry wart.

- You come in again sometime.

- Thank you.

[music playing]

- Hi.
- Hiya, Pop.

- Hi.

- Oh, a present for me.

How nice.

- Oh, well, I bought it for
you, but you won't like it.

- Oh, don't be silly.

I like everything
you get for me.

Oh, it rattles.

- Yeah, it's a broken dish.

- [laughs] You wouldn't
be kidding me, would you?

No, I guess you wouldn't.

- See, uh, Darby told
the man to gift-wrap it,

and he took him seriously.

- What do we do with
another broken dish?

- Are you kidding?

Now we've got a set.

- What's this all about?

- Uh, well I went
down to the store

to replace the dish
I broke last night,

and I accidentally
broke another one,

and so I thought I might be able
to glue the pieces together.

It's a real pretty dish.

I figured we might
be able to hang it

on the wall or something.

- What was it this time?

An end run?

- No, it was an accident.

- Gee, Pop, that's two
dishes in two days.

- Whoa, look out!

- Goodness sakes,
you're as bad as Darby.

- What about Darby?

- Well, he has some
silly superstition,

if you break two things,
you're bound to break a third.

- Well, three strikes,
and you're out, Pop.

- Well, that's baseball.

That's got nothing
to do with it.

- Well, football had a lot
to do with it last night.

- Well, Harriet, that's an
entirely different game.

- Well, I always heard
things come in threes.

- Oh, that's silly.

- How about thee on a match?

- Well, that's just a commercial
device to sell dishes--

Uh, to sell a mattress.

The whole thing is ridiculous.

- Well, I hope so, because
the Women's Club is

going to have to pay for
all the dishes you break.

- OK, we've all had our fun now.

I broke a couple of dishes, and
I'm not going to break anymore.

I'm not a person who goes
around dropping things,

and I'm not superstitious.

Is, uh, dinner almost ready?

- Yes, it is.

Rick, would you take
the salad, please?

- Here.

- Dave, you want to
take those glasses?

- Oh, well, here, I'll--

I'll take something.

- You take the napkins, dear.

[music playing]

- Boy, that Darby gets
some of the craziest ideas.

Oh, Rick, would you pass
me the butter, please?

Thank you.

- I'll hold it for you, Pop.

- Some more coffee, dear?

- Oh, yes, please.

- I'll get it.

- For goodness sakes, boys,
I'm not going to drop the cup.

[music playing]

- Oh, hello, Mr. Nelson.

Hi.

Is Dr. Williams in?

- Well, yes, he is, but
he's rather busy right now.

Would you like to come
back later this afternoon?

- Oh, well, I didn't want
a regular appointment.

I just wanted to give
him his Gay Nineties

costume for tonight.

- Oh, well, in that
case, go right in.

- Well, I don't
want to disturb him

if he's busy with a patient.

- He doesn't have
a patient in there.

He's busy eating his lunch.

- Oh.

If I hurry, maybe
I can make dessert.

Oh, hiya, Doc.

- Hi, Oz.

- Sorry to interrupt
your lunch here.

- Oh, that's all right.

I was just finishing.

If you're hungry, I think
there's a maraschino cherry

here.
- Oh, uh, no thanks.

I'm not very hungry.

- Hey, my costume!

Oh, gee, Oz, that looks great.

- You don't seem very
concerned about tonight.

- Well, I'm not, now
that I got my outfit.

Oh, I want to show
you something.

Picked up a couple
of accessories.

Get a load of this.

- Oh.

[chuckles]

- Wait till you see this.

This will really slay 'em.

- Yeah, it's not bad.

- Oh, I think it deserves a
little bit more than "not bad."

- Well, OK, Happy Halloween.

- Excuse me, Doctor.

Do you mind if I run
down for a cup of coffee?

- No, no, that's all right.

I'll bet they won't even
recognize me in this getup.

- Uh, Doc, aren't
you a little worried

about the
responsibility tonight?

- What responsibility is there
except to have a good time?

Oh, and you ought to
hear my voice today, Oz.

I think my vibrato's improving.

They call her Frivolous Sal.

Oh, that quartet's
going to sound great.

- Well, that's just it.

The quartet's liable to
wind up being a trio.

I don't think I can
make it tonight.

- Oh, Oz, who's going to
sing those high notes if you

aren't there?

- Well, it isn't a
question of the notes, Doc.

Sounds silly.

I'm afraid I might
break something.

- What do you mean?

- Well, I've been breaking
things all over the place

lately.

The other night, I dropped
a dish at home and broke it.

And I dropped the second one
at the China shop yesterday.

And I'm just nervous as can
be waiting for number three.

You know, that's the way
it goes, you break things

in cycles of three.

- Where did you dig up
that silly superstition?

- It's not a silly superstition.

It's true.

- You want to lie down there in
the couch and talk it over, Oz?

- No, Doc, I'm not kidding.

You'll be sorry if I pick up
a whole tray of dishes there

and break every
dish in the place.

- I sure will if we
haven't eaten yet.

- I just don't feel like
going down there and making

a fool out of myself.

- Well, then the only thing I
can think of is to humor you.

Actually, the cure
is very simple.

If you're waiting to
break the third thing,

don't wait any longer.

- What do you mean?
- Break it.

Break something and get
it out of your system.

- Yeah, that might
not be a bad idea.

What will I break?

- Well, let's see.

- Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't
break anything of yours.

- Oh, sure.

We'll find something here.

Here, how about this ashtray?

- Well, you sure it's all right?

- Sure, I'll put
it on your bill.

- That's fair enough.

I have a feeling this
is going to do it.

- Let me see that, Oz.

Oh, no wonder.

The Wearwell Plastic Company.

Let me see what else
we've got around here.

- How about these glasses?

- Be my guest.

Gee, Oz, I guess everything
in here is plastic.

The stuff just won't break.

Well, we'll find something.

Now, let me see.

Paper cups are no good.

- Come to think of
it, Doc, I don't think

it'll be necessary after all.
- No, no, Oz.

Now, we'll find something.

We don't want you to break
things at the dinner tonight.

That might be disastrous.

You know, all those
dishes and everything.

- No, no, wait a minute.

I really mean it.

All of a sudden, I'm
miraculously cured.

I feel fine.

Call it luck or whatever it is.

- Maybe you are lucky, at that.

You've already
broken two things.

You only have one more to go.

I still have to break all three.

[laughs]

- Well, gee, it's
nice to see you, Doc.

Thanks.
I'll see you tonight.

- Sure, Oz.

- Good luck.

- So long.

Good luck?

Wonder what he meant by that.

- Oh, Dr. Williams?

I just wanted to remind you
you're due at surgery at 3:00.

- Oh, surgery.

Thank you very much.

Surgery.

Surgery?

- They call her Frivolous Sal.

- Hey, you look
pretty sharp, Pop.

- Oh, thank you.

- You can chin yourself on
that handlebar mustache.

- I hope it doesn't
fall in anybody's soup.

- How's your voice, Pop?

- Oh, it's pretty good, Dave.
- Have you got any left?

I thought you used it
all up in the shower.

- Oh, no.

Now, don't worry about
the dishes tonight.

- Oh, I won't, son.

Everything's under control.

In fact, you're going to see
some mighty fancy serving.

- No more broken
dish-running, I hope.

- I think you're all in
for quite a surprise.

Oh, allow me.

- Thank you.

Ozzie, did you stop off anywhere
on your way home from Doc's?

- [chuckles] No, but
I'll tell you this much.

That little visit to the doc was
just what the doctor ordered.

Is everybody comfortable?
- Oh, yes.

There'll be a handsome tip
in this for you, my good man.

- Well, thank you.

They call her Frivolous Sal,
a peculiar sort of a gal.

You know, Butch, I have a
feeling the quartet's going

to go over real big tonight.

- Well, I certainly do hope so.

My whole family's out there.

- I feel fine.

Me, me, me.

- Me, me, me, too.

[laughs]

- All right, you're
in good voice.

- Oh, well, thanks.

You know, I woke up this morning
with a frog in my throat,

and it's given me a resonance
I've never experienced before.

- Well, let's see if
you can hang on to it.

- They call her Frivolous Sal.

- Hey, Oz, they're ready for
us to serve the main course.

- Well, OK.

Come on, let's get going.

- Uh, I'll go take the orders.

- Well, that's strange.

What's he talking about?

Take the orders?

All we're serving is
chicken croquettes.

- Oh, I have a feeling
all the chicken

isn't in the croquettes.

- [laughs]

- Oz.

- Hiya, Doc.

- I don't know if I
can make it or not.

- Are you kidding?
What's the trouble?

- You know darn well
what the trouble is.

It's that silly
superstition of yours.

- Oh, Doc, for
goodness sakes, that's

just what it is, a
silly superstition.

Watch me.

Here we go, boys!
One side!

Coming right through!

One side!

[applause and laughter]

- Hey, here comes Pop.

Look at him!

- Here we are.

- Pop makes a good waiter.

- He sure does.

He's as graceful as a gazelle.

- Oz, how did you do it?

I thought you were
a nervous wreck.

- I told you, I'm all
cured, and I owe it

all to you and our little visit.

- Well, in that case,
I'll make a deal with you.

You carry my tray for me,
and I won't charge you

for an office call.

- Pleasure to do
business with you, Doc.

One side, folks!

Coming right through!

Here we go!

[applause]

Here you are, folks.

- You did just
beautifully, dear.

- Oh, well, thank you.

- Gee, I still can't believe it.

- How are you doing, Oz?
Hi, folks.

- Hi, Darb.
- Enjoy your dinner?

- We certainly did.

- Uh, Darb, old boy, I've
got bad news for you.

Looks like you lost the bet.

I won.

- Yes, I guess I did.

- Uh, if you'll promise
you won't get mad,

I'll let you in on
a little secret.

- What?

- I couldn't possibly
have lost the bet.

See, I called the
Wearwell Plastic Company

and had them send over
all plastic dishes.

[laughs] How about that?

You couldn't break things if you
dropped them from an airplane.

[laughs] You've been
outfoxed, old boy.

Now, give me the $5.

- What $5?

We didn't bet any $5.

In fact, we didn't bet anything.

- Oh, come on, Darb, pay up!

You know we always bet $5!

- Oh, we do not.

Here, take these.

- Oh, what a sore loser.

- Yeah.

Oh, uh, incidentally, Oz, I
have a little secret of my own.

I was in the kitchen when
the plastic dishes arrived.

Now, naturally,
I had to save you

from stooping to anything
underhanded, so, uh--

[laughs]

- Now, wait a minute.

You mean these are
real breakable dishes?

- It's exactly what I mean.

Now, let's see you take
those out to the kitchen

without breaking them.

Go on, boy, take them.

- Ozzie, be careful.

- [laughs] Hey,
remember, we bet $5.

- Now, folks, careful.

- Anything happen yet?

- I didn't hear a crash.

- Are you all right, dear?

- [laughs] Yeah, I might have
added a few more gray hairs.

- You gave me a couple, too.

- [laughter]

- No, not a thing.

Well, OK, Mr. Darby,
come on, pay up.

- Oz, it was worth it to see
the blood leave your face.

[laughter]

- They're clamoring
for the quartet.

- Well, that settles it.

[applause]

I'm all through carrying dishes.

- What was that, dear?

- Oh, well, I mean for
tonight, of course.

[chuckles]

- Well, thank you.

It is my great pleasure to
present the Hometown Quartet.

And they're really
from our hometown.

I know, they've been
practicing in my living

room for the past month.

[applause]

Good luck, boys.

- Thank you.

- [SINGING] They
call her Frivolous

Sal, a peculiar sort of a gal.

With a heart that was mellow,
and all-round good fellow,

was my old pal.

Your trouble, sorrow,
and cares, she

was always willing to share.

- Hey, it looks like
Pop's got the jinx beat.

Can't break anything
just standing up there.

- Yeah, I guess he made it.

- Shh, boys.

- [SINGING] --on the level was
my gal Sal, was my gal Sal!

[glass breaks]

[laughter and applause]

[ending theme]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are
brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak
Company, who remind you

that May time is picture time.

This weekend, put your
good times in pictures

and order extra prints for
your family and friends.

This has been an ABC television
network film presentation.