All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S06E28 The Bachelor 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- Eastman Kodak company
is happy to bring you

America's favorite family--

the Nelsons!

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

They like to go places,
enjoy happy times together.

And they know that good
times are picture times.

And now here's Ozzie.

- Hi.

I'd like to welcome you to
the Kodak Camera Carnival.

All this month at Kodak
dealers across the country,

you'll see Harriet, the
boys, and me in displays

like this inviting you to step
out with a modern Kodak camera.

We'd sure like you to
discover the new rewards

that Kodak has built into
all its 1958 cameras.

Until you've used
one, you can't imagine

what up to date picture
taking is really like.

I've been shooting pictures
with these modern Kodak cameras,

and I know how
really fine they are.

In movie cameras,
in snapshot cameras,

in 35 millimeter
color slide cameras,

your Kodak dealer has
something new for you to see.

Tonight, the spotlight is on
Kodak's 35 millimeter color

slide cameras.

There's one for every
taste and every budget.

These, you know, are
the remarkable cameras

that let you take beautiful
color pictures you can project

as big as life or even bigger.

We'll show you one
or two later on.

But first--

- Kodak invites you to
enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Don't forget, the Nelsons are
coming to dinner tonight, dear.

- Yes, dear.
I know.

I'm all ready.

- Oh, hi, there.

I'm John Archer.

I've been a friend of the
Nelsons for many years.

I was a bachelor until a
short while ago, but now,

thanks to Ozzie and Harriet,
I'm a happily married man.

There's quite an
interesting story

about how I took the plunge
after all these years.

I, uh, think maybe you'd
like to hear about it.

About, um, oh, six months
ago, the Nelsons, the Darbys,

and I had just returned
from a wedding where

I'd been the best man--

For about the fourth
time, I might add.

- How about coming to the
house for a cup of coffee?

- Oh, sounds great to me.
- John?

- Oh, no, thanks, Oz.

I want to get home and get
rid of this monkey suit.

- You certainly made a
perfect best man, John.

- Well, thank you, Harriet.

- Yes, sir, John.

You played your usual role
with great distinction.

- Well, I'm getting
used to it by now.

- Wasn't it a beautiful wedding?

- Oh, it certainly was.

- Oh, come on.

What are you girls crying about?

The wedding's all over
and everybody's happy.

- Could I interest you
guys in a game of golf?

We've still got time
to get in nine holes.

- Well, gee, John.

I'd like to, but I
promised Sally I'd

fix the lock on the back door.

- Good for you, dear.

I thought you'd
forgotten all about it.

- Fat chance.

- How about you, Oz?

- Oh, no thanks.

I promised Harriet
I'd paint the screens.

Uh, maybe some other time.

- Well, all right.

I'll say goodbye.
- So long, John.

- Bye, John.

- Ah, I feel kind
of sorry for John.

He leads a typical bachelor's
existence, kind of aimless.

- Oh, come on.

It's not that sad.

He-- he has a lot of friends.

- Oh, I wasn't
thinking about John.

I was just thinking about what
a beautiful wedding it was.

Just beautiful.

- [whimpering] I'm
starting to pucker up.

- I know!
I'm puckering up myself.

- I can't get over what a
beautiful wedding it was.

- Oh, uh, before you
get started again,

I don't have a
handkerchief with me.

- No, I think I've cried
enough for one wedding.

Isn't John a nice fellow?

- Yeah, he certainly is.

- I wonder why he never
got married, especially

with attractive girls
like Cathy around?

- Cathy?

Who-- who's Cathy?

- Oh, you know.

Cathy Collins.

She's a friend of Mary Dunkel's.

Wonder if John knows her.

- Oh, well, no.

I don't think so.

At least I've never
heard him mention her.

- Say, I have an idea.

Why don't we invite them both
over for dinner some night?

- Now, wait a second.

I'm way ahead of you.

- Way ahead of me?

- Well, you know darn well
what I'm talking about.

You invite them over
to dinner, give them

a nice home cooked meal,
turn the lights down low,

and put on some of those
Rudy Vallee records.

And next thing you
know, you'll be making

arrangements for the wedding.

- You don't think I'd do
a thing like that, do you?

- Well, you did it once before.

- When?

- Before we were married,
when I used to go over

to your house for dinner.

- That's not entirely true.

They were Bing Crosby records.

- Uh, let's leave John alone.

He's been a bachelor
all his life

and he seems to be very happy.

- Well, aren't you happy?
- Well, sure.

- Well, then why don't
you want John to be happy?

- Well, I want him
to be happy, but I

want him to be
happy just the way

he's been happy all his life.

- Well, that's fine,
but what about Cathy?

- What about her?

- Don't you want
her to be happy?

- Sure.

- Then when can we invite John
and Cathy over for dinner?

- Look, Harriet, I know this
is difficult for a woman

to understand, but
John is a big boy now.

He's been a happy
bachelor all his life.

So let's leave
well enough alone.

- Well, just want to
get your reaction.

- Well, you got it.

- Well, OK, but it's
your responsibility.

- What's my responsibility?

- Letting John go through
life without meeting

Cathy when I know they'd be
just right for each other.

- Harriet, please.

- OK, but if somebody else
gets Cathy, it's your fault.

- Hi, Ozzie.

- Oh, hi, Darb.

- I wondered if I could
borrow your screwdriver.

- Well, yeah, it-- it should be
in on the workbench there right

behind the cans.
- OK, thanks.

- You see it?

- Nope.

Not here.

I guess it's over in my garage.

Hey, Oz.

Do you happen to know a guy
by the name of Cathy Collins?

- Well, yeah.
I've heard of her.

Why?

- I think Sally was
talking about her.

She's a friend of Mary Dunkel's.

- Uh, did the
conversation by any chance

have anything to do with John?

- It had everything
to do with John.

- I thought so.

- Sally wanted to invite him
and Cathy over to dinner Sunday

night.

- Uh, Harriet had the same idea.

She wanted to invite
him over to our house.

Tell me.

Uh, why is it as soon
as the girls hear

of a happy bachelor
like John, they

want to get him married off?

- I am sure I don't know.

- Wonder why he isn't married.

- Well, maybe he doesn't
like painting screens

and fixing locks and
things like that.

- You know, he-- he seems like
kind of a lonesome guy, though.

He's never home.

He's always out playing golf
or-- or bowling or something.

- Well, maybe he has to
stay away from the house

to keep away from
all those women

who are trying to
get him married off.

- Well, he's been pretty
successful so far.

- Hm.

- Nobody's hooked him.

Uh, pardon me.

- But you know, Oz,
one of these days,

he's just going to
happen to stay home.

He'll answer the
phone, and he'll

be stuck with some
girl like this Cathy.

Not that she isn't a nice girl.

- No, I know what you mean.

There are so many nice girls.

And after all, a guy's got a
right to select his own wife.

- Maybe he should get married
just to protect himself.

You know any girls?

- We don't even know whether
he wants to get married.

- Oz, he's bound to get
married sooner or later.

- Yeah, he-- he probably doesn't
realize how pleasant it can be.

- Maybe we should show him.

Maybe we should invite
him to dinner one night.

You know, give him a
taste of home cooking,

home life, happy family.

- Uh, yeah, why don't you
invite him over to your house

Sunday night?

Heads.

- Heads, it is.

Congratulations, Mr. Nelson.

You're going to have a guess
for dinner on Sunday night.

Wait a minute, I won the toss!

Uh, Darb!

Oh, ho, ho!

- Thanks, Oz.

Ah, this certainly is a
comfortable house you got here.

- Well, thanks.

It's-- it's all Harriet's doing.

She's in charge of
that department.

- Mmm, mmm.

Do I smell turkey?

- Oh, uh, yeah.

We have it quite often,
uh, about once a week,

I guess, with mashed
potatoes and gravy.

Makes a nice dinner
when it's home cooked.

- Ha ha, sure does.

You know, I love
a real fireplace.

I've got an artificial
one in my apartment.

It has an advantage.

You don't have to
empty the ashes.

- Yeah, well, Harriet's
pretty good at that, too.

Of course, every once in a
while, the boys help out.

- Hi, Pop.

- Hi, Pop.

- You know Mr.
Archer, don't you?

This is Dave.
- Hi, Dave.

Rick, how are you?
- Congratulations.

I hear you're getting married.
- Oh!

Oh, no.
No, no.

- I thought Mom said something--

- No, no, uh, no.

Uh, Mister, uh, Archer
was the best man

at the wedding the other day.

- I'm afraid nobody
would have me, Rick.

I'm, uh, too grouchy.

- Oh, that's hard to believe.

- Boy, something
sure smells good.

What are we having
for dinner, Mom?

- Turkey.

- What, is it
Thanksgiving already?

- No, I just thought
we'd have turkey tonight.

- Anything I can do
to help you, Harriet?

- Oh no, not a thing.
Thank you.

Please sit down.
Be ready in a moment.

Here are you slippers, dear.

- Well, thank you.

- And here's your
pipe for after dinner.

- Well, thank you, dear.

This is the life.

- Hey, isn't that my pipe, dad?

- Oh, uh, yeah, I--

I guess it is.

I thought it was mine.

- I didn't know you had a pipe.

- I-- I think I
do, uh, someplace.

- Uh, dinner's just
about ready now.

There's a good
fight on television

I know you want to see.

- Oh, uh, thanks a lot, dear.

- Hey, what's going on here?

- Would you like another
piece of pie, John?

- Oh, no, this is plenty.

Thank you.

- May I be excused, please?

- Yes, certainly, dear.

- Nice seeing you
again, Mr. Archer.

- Thanks.
Nice seeing you fellas again.

Couple of fine boys there.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

We think they are.
Heh.

- Of course, it won't be
long before they'll be

leaving us and getting married.

- Yes, I suppose so.

Well, I guess you're wondering
why I never got married.

- Well, no, not necessarily.

- John, would you like
some more Cathy--?

Uh, coffee?

- No thanks, Harriet.

- Well, there was a girl.

In fact, there still is
that I wanted to marry.

- Oh, no kidding.

- Mm-hm.

Her name's Mabel.

- Mabel?

- Oh, I don't think
you've ever met her.

She doesn't live in town.

I've known her for--
oh, for many years.

In fact, we almost got married.

I'm afraid I got cold feet.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- I still get a letter from
her every once in a while.

She's a wonderful girl.

You know, when I see a
nice family like this

and eat a good home cooked
meal, sometimes I'm sorry Mabel

and I put it off.

- Why don't you
fellas go into the den

and watch the fights
and I'll bring some more

coffee in there?
- All right.

Thanks, Harriet.

- Go ahead, John.

- John.

- Hi, this is Harriet.

Yes, he did.

Yeah, but it seems
he's got a girlfriend.

Yeah, well, I'll
call you tomorrow.

Goodbye, Cathy.

- Oh, these are great.

- Oh, uh, this is
the house Harriet

and I lived in when
we first married.

- Oh, that's real nice, Oz.

[door bell ringing]

- There's somebody the door.

Pardon me.

- Hi, Oz.

- Hi, hi, hi, Darb.

- How's everything going?

- Oh, just great.

I think he's
nibbling at the bait.

- Fine, let's reel him in.

Has Harriet sprung
Cathy on him in?

- Uh, uh, Cathy's out.

It seems he's got
a girl named Mabel.

- Good, we're halfway home.

- Uh, uh, don't rush things.

You follow my lead.

Uh, uh, come on in, Darb.

- Well, thank you, Oz.

- Uh, look who's here, John.
- Oh, hi.

- Hi, John.
Good to see you.

- Thank you.
Good to see you.

- Sit down.

- What did you have for
dinner tonight, Darb?

- Hash.

- Uh, yes, but-- but I'll bet it
has that wonderful sauce Sally

always puts on it.

- You mean ketchup?

- Yeah, yeah, that delicious
Waldorf, uh, ketchup sauce.

- You know, Oz, I think
you've about convinced me.

I'm going to get married.

- Uh, what did you
have for dinner, Oz?

- Well, Harriet-- what
did you say, John?

- I said I'm going
to get married.

- Harriet what?

- What's-- did-- John said
he's going to get married!

- That's great!

- Well, that's wonderful, John!

- You're the one who
convinced me, Oz.

Why, this delightful
home, wonderful family,

devoted wife--

Ah, this is the way
a man should live.

I didn't realize what I'd
been missing all these years.

- Ah, well, congratulations!

- Congratulations, Ozzie.

[interposing voices]
- Oh!

Congratulations, John.

- Congratulations, John.

- Hello, John!

- Hi, Harriet!

- Look who's here, the
prospective bridegroom.

- Well, good morning, John.

- Hello, Oz.

- Oh, how are you
feeling this morning?

- Oh, pretty good.
- Pretty good?

You ought to feel great.

- Oh, I did when I
left here last night.

I went home, wrote a
long letter to Mabel,

went out, and mailed it.

Went to bed.

I woke up this morning.

I started thinking about it.

- Oh, that's where you
made your big mistake.

- Ah, that's understandable.

You probably got thinking
about the reception

and the invitations and
the church arrangements.

- Oz, I wouldn't want a
big wedding like that.

I'd be happy with a nice
quiet, little ceremony at home.

- Well, if that's what you want,
that's what you ought to have.

- Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't we have the wedding
right here at our house?

We have plenty of room,
don't we, Harriet?

- Oh, sure.

We have lots of room.

- Well, thanks,
Harriet, but I wouldn't

want to put you to any trouble.

- It wouldn't be
any trouble at all.

We'd be very ha-- if
it's all right with you.

- It's all right
with me, I guess.

- How do you think Mabel
would like the idea?

- Well, I don't think it'll
make any difference to her.

- Well, fine, then all we
have to do is set the date.

- You think we should so soon?

- Look, you decide to
get married once before

and got cold feet and
backed out, right?

- Twice.

- OK, you got cold feet twice.

As your friend, I'm going
to see to it you go through

with it this time.

Now, let's set the date
right here and now.

- Say, I have a wonderful idea.

Why don't you get married
on our wedding anniversary?

It was a real lucky day for us.

- Well, that sounds great!
How about that?

- Whoa, OK.

If you say so.

- Look, you just go home, relax,
and don't worry about a thing.

We'll take care of
all the details.

- Oz, this is so sudden.

- Forget about it, will you?

Let us do all the worrying.

- Well, goodbye, Harriet.

- Goodbye, John.

- So long, John.

You got to watch
out for this guy.

He's starting to
get cold feet again.

- Well, don't look at me.
That part's up to you and Darb.

- Well, we'll take care of it.

You know, it was a
nice idea to have

the wedding on our anniversary
but doesn't give us much time.

- No, October 9 is only
a couple of weeks away.

- Wait a minute.

October 9?

I thought our anniversary
was on the 8th.

- You did?

- Oh no, of course.

It's the 9th.

- You shouldn't
have chickened out.

It is the 8th.

- Oh, oh, oh!

That's the, uh--

- Flowers?

- Uh, Harriet's
taking care of those.

- Caterer?

- Uh, Harriet took
care of that, too.

- Uh, don't forget we got
to borrow some more chairs.

- Oh, yeah.

Harriet said she's going
to take care of that.

- Well, we sure did let
ourselves in for a lot of work.

- You're not kidding.

Oh, uh, what about the
wedding invitations?

- Oh, Sally's taking
care of those.

Say, uh, what about the
actual ceremony, Oz?

Now where is that
going to take place?

- Well, I thought the-- the
bride and groom would come down

our stairway and the-- the
actual ceremony would be

in the living room.

Say, uh, why don't we
rehearse the ceremony

from beginning to end?

We-- we could stand in for
the bride and groom, huh?

- OK, let's do it.

- Uh, uh, uh, come on.

Let's get this organized.

Harriet, uh, please, huh?

Uh, would you stand over here?

Uh, suppose, uh-- now,
uh, suppose you be me.

You stand right here.

Uh, Rick-- come on, Rick.

Stop reading, will you, please?

Uh, suppose you
stand-- you're John.

Now, you-- you stand
right over here.

And Harriet, you're me.

Uh, uh, pardon me.

Darb, uh, uh, uh, Dave,
you be the minister.

You're right here.

And there, Darb, you're Mabel.

- No, I'm not.

I'm supposed to be
giving Mabel away.

- Well-- well, OK, then.

You can be me.
All right, we've got to make--

You're-- you're--

- You're making this
thing awfully complicated.

She's you.
- No, no.

Well, that's right.
That's right.

But, uh, I'm you.

Uh-- no, no, no, wait a minute.

You're John.

You're me.

You're Mabel.

I'm you, and David
is the minister.

All right, now, we, uh,
walk down the stairs here,

and, uh, uh, you give--

I give you away.

- Here's the bouquet, Mabel.

- Oh, thank you, Oz.

- Oz?
- She's Oz.

- Oh.

- You're me.

- You're right, I'm sorry.

All right, now, now.

Here we go.

- [HUMMING "HERE COMES THE
BRIDE"]

Hello, John.
[humming "here comes the bride"]

No talking.
- Dearly beloved, we are--

- No, no, no, no, no,
no, wait a second.

- Uh, uh...
- Oh, no, John.

You're over here next to Mabel.

- Gee, I hope this
isn't for real.

I don't want to end up
married to Mr. Darby.

- I'm a very good provider.

- Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here this afternoon

to unite the yellow pages
and the central phonebook.

- I think this
looks pretty good.

- It looks pretty wild to me.

- I-- I think this is fine.

Thanks a lot.
- Oh, please.

I haven't finished the ceremony.

- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

- By the authority vested in
me by the telephone company,

I now pronounce you
hook and receiver.

- Very good.

Hey, uh, by the way, Oz, who is
going to perform the ceremony?

- Well, did you
like the job I did?

- Yes, it was fine.

But I think we should
have somebody who could

make it a little more official.

- Yeah, it might
not last very long.

- No.

- Hey, here's an idea, Harriet.

Uh, how about Reverend Russell?

Dr. Russell?

- Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

- Who's he?

- Oh, he's the minister who
married your father and me.

- I guess that was a
little before our time.

- Yeah, I guess it was.

Do you think you'd want to
drive all the way down here?

- Well, I don't see why not.

Look, I'd like to
see him anyway.

Why don't we drive
up there and ask him?

It'll only take us
a couple of hours.

- Oh, sure.

I think it'd be a lot of fun.

- Before you go, you
better put these in water.

[knocking]

- Come in.

- Dr. Russell, there's
someone to see you.

- Oh, show them in, Mary.

- Hello, Dr. Russell.

- Good afternoon.

- We're the Nelsons.

We haven't seen you
for quite a few years.

- Oh, of course.

Won't you sit down?
- Oh, well, thank you.

- Yes, thank you.

We came to see you
about a wedding.

- Oh, splendid.

Have you got the license?

- Oh, uh, no.

We don't want to get married.

- Oh, that's too bad.

You look like you'd
make such a nice couple.

- Well, we are a nice couple.

I-- I-- I mean, we are married.

See, you married
us 22 years ago.

- Oh, why, of course.

I thought I recognized you.

You're Jack Wilson.

- No, our name is Nelson.
- Oh, that's right.

Jack Nelson.

- No, no, no, uh, Ozzie Nelson.

- Oh, why of course.

Now I remember.

- Well, uh, anyway, a friend
of ours is getting married,

and we wondered if you come down
and officiate at the ceremony.

- I'd love to.

Has the day been set?

- Well, yes.

- Yes, we thought October 8th.

That's the day we were married.

- Oh, October 8th.

Let's see now.

Oh, that's an awfully
busy day for me.

I have a wedding
scheduled for 12:00.

Couldn't you make
it the next day?

- Well, we were really
counting on having it the 8th.

That day's been so lucky for us.

- See, we feel you gave
us such a good start.

That's why we'd like
to have you officiate.

- Well, perhaps you could make
the wedding later in the day.

Say, around 4:00.

I could drive down
and be there by then.

- Well, yes.

I think that would be--

- That sounds just fine.

- Then it's all set.

- Well, fine.

We'll see you October
the 8th at 4:00.

- Oh, just a moment.

I didn't get your address.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- That's perfectly all right.

- It's my fault.

- I guess we all get
a little absentminded

as the years go by.

- There we are.

- Oh, the wedding's being
held at-- at the Nelsons.

- Yes, that's me.

- Oh, of course.

Well, I'll see you, then--

October the 8th at 4:00.

- Yes.
- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Dr. Russell.

- Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.

Goodbye, Mrs. Wilson.

- Ah, looks like we've
got everything set.

I'll tell you this much.

He'll have a heck of a
job backing out this time.

- Yes.

Sure, boy, we sure wrapped
this one up, didn't we?

[door bell ringing]
- Oh, here he is.

If he starts to panic,
leave everything to me.

- OK.

- Hi, John.
Come on in.

- Hello, Oz.
- Hi, John.

- Hi, Darb.

- Come over and sit down.
- Thanks.

What do you want to
talk to me about, Oz?

- Well, John, it's all
set for October the 8th.

- What about October the 8th?

- Well, that's the day you're
getting married, John, old boy.

- It is?
- Well, sure.

Don't you remember?

We told you, the 8th,
our wedding anniversary.

- Oz, you better get
in the smelling salts.

He looks a little pale to me.

- The 8th is only
a few days away.

Why didn't you remind
me or something?

- Well, we didn't tell
you until the last minute

because we didn't want you
to worry about anything.

- Oz, I'm not worried
except for one thing.

- What's that?

- Who am I gonna marry?

- Are you kidding?

Mabel!

- Well, that would be
a little hard to do.

She's been happily
married for 12 years

and has three children!

- Three children?

- Three childen?

- Three children?
- Yes!

She's married to some
fellow named Jack Wilson.

- Jack Wilson?
- Jack Wilson?

- Jack-- I don't get it.

- Well, uh, uh, what
was all that stuff

about writing to her?

- I do write to her!

Quite often!

We've been real good friends.

It probably wouldn't have been
possible if we were married.

- We talked about you getting
married on our anniversary!

You agreed to it!

- Yeah, but I didn't
know it was so soon.

I haven't even got a girl.

I thought if I had enough
time, I might find one.

- Well, you've still
got a few days.

Couldn't you
propose to somebody?

I'm just trying to be helpful.

- Gee, I don't know what to say!

- Well, I'll say something.

You fellas have had your chance.

Now we girls are
going to take over.

The wedding is set.

The arrangements
have all been made

and the minister is coming.

At 4:00 on October the 8th,
we're going to have a wedding.

- Hi, John.

- Hi, Oz.

Are you nervous?

- Oh, a little bit.

How about you?

- Oh, I feel fine.

- Well, I got to hand it to you.

[organ music playing]

- Gosh, Oz.

Doesn't she look beautiful?
- Oh, yes.

Beautiful.

- This is indeed
a happy occasion.

22 years ago, it was
my pleasure to unite

this couple in holy wedlock.

Now, today, on their
wedding anniversary,

we are going to
repeat the ceremony

in the presence of their
children and their friends.

I'm sure that their next 22
years will be just as happy.

Dearly beloved--

[interposing voices]

- Bye, Darb.

Here, try this.

- Why, thank you.

It was such a beautiful wedding.

- Yeah, it certainly was.

I've been to a lot
of weddings, but this

is the first one that made me
really want to get married.

- I know just what you mean.

- Permit me to introduce myself.

Uh, my name is John Archer.

Are you a friend of the Nelsons?

- Yes, I am.

My name is Cathy Collins.

- How do you do?

Is anyone giving
you a lift home?

- No.
- I'd be delighted.

May I?

- Well, thank you.

- Cathy-- that's a
very pretty name.

- Thank you, John.

- I wonder why Harriet
never introduced me to you.

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are
brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak
Company, whose complete

line of cameras
projectors and film

is designed to meet every
picture taking need.

Remember, if it's made by
Kodak, you know it's good.

- Harriet and I want to thank
the readers of "TV Radio

Mirror" for voting us
their favorite television

husband and wife team again.

Oh, by the way, there's
a nice story about us

in the current issue
of "TV Radio Mirror."

I think you like it.

- This has been an ABC
Television Network film

presentation.