All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S06E26 The Top Gun 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Hi.

We're going to take you back
a few years tonight, five

or maybe six.

We're going to show you
one of our favorite shows.

It's called "The Gunfighter."

We hope you like it.

- Yeah, Joe.

It's going to be a big opening.

No, no tuxedos.

It's a supermarket.

Well, the thing is
Rick's going to be there.

Ah.

Joe thinks Rick's
going to be a box boy.

No, they've asked
him to entertain.

He's going to play
his guitar and sing

some rock-and-roll songs.

- Well, maybe it'd be
better if he were a box boy.

At least that way,
he'd get paid.

- Well, how about it, Joe?

Oh, come on.

I've got some work to
do on my lawn, too,

but I'm just going
to forget about it.

- You are?

- Just for a day or two.

- You've already put
it off for three weeks.

- No kidding, Joe.

You'll have a great time.

It'll give the
kid moral support.

Well, uh, Butch
and Doc are coming.

Besides, they've got a lot of
great opening day bargains.

Just a second.

Harriet, would you
hand me that paper?

Uh, for instance,
lettuce, $0.08 a head.

Where can you get it for five?

Harriet, did you know you can
get lettuce for $0.05 a head

over at Slater's?

- Well, yeah, if you want
to buy a shrunken head.

- How about this?

They've got Dick and Doris
fruit cocktail, $0.10 a can.

Dinkendorf's.

Well, that's-- I think
I've heard of it.

Besides, how bad can
it be if it's in a can?

Oh, swell, Joe.

I knew I could count on you.

Thanks a lot.

We'll see you over there, then.

OK.

Well, that's six we can
count on, definitely.

- I'll be back in
a couple of hours.

- OK, dear.
- Where are you going?

- Over to the market.
They're arranging the program.

- You mean there's
going to be somebody

else on the show besides you?
- Oh, yeah.

They're trying to get a
couple of TV personality.

- Oh, swell.

It's really going to
be a big thing, huh?

- Yeah.
Well, I don't want to be late.

I'll see you later, Pop.
- OK, son.

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, dear.

- Oh, hiya, Tony.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson!

- What's the matter?

- James boys are after me!

[toy guns shooting]

- Don't you shoot, you guys!

I'm unarmed.

[toy guns shooting]

- You'll never catch me!

- [groans] They got me, partner.

- Gee, Mr. Nelson,
that was great.

- Oh, thank you.

- Have you ever
been shot before?

- Oh, a few times.

- Boy, you sure died great.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

You guys are darn good shots.

- Take a look at my new gun.

Oh, hey, that's a beauty.

- It's a genuine Tex Barton.

- Tex Barton?
- Yeah!

- Yeah.

Haven't you ever seen
him on television?

- Oh, yeah, I guess
maybe I have it, at that.

- He has a real gun like that.

He's about the fastest
draw in the world.

- Well, maybe on television,
but in the days of the old Wild

West, I'll bet my
great grandfather

could have plugged
him and two other guys

while he was trying to get
his gun out of the holster.

- Was your great grandfather
a real gunslinger?

- Oh, are you kidding?

He was one of the fastest
guns in Dodge City.

They had a whole section at
Boot Hill Cemetery dedicated

to his victims.

- How come I've never
seen him on television?

- Well, he was kind
of a modest fellow.

Besides, you don't see all those
things on television, you know?

- Was he ever in any gunfights,
like the one at the O.K.

Corral?
- Oh, sure.

I remember hearing
about this one time

when he outdrew the Laramie Kid.
- Gosh.

- Gosh.

- Yeah, the way I heard it, see,
my great grandfather, Six Gun

Nelson, that's what
they called him,

he was standing in the
Dodge City amusement

palace one night, and he
just ordered a glass of, uh--

- Milk?

Yes, sir, Mr. Nelson.

- Stranger in these
parts, ain't ya?

- Yes, I am, ma'am.

- My name's Lulu.

What's your handle?

- Oh, uh, my handle's ivory.

Oh.

[chuckles] Uh, Nelson.

- Glad to meet you, Mr. Nelson.

- Would you care to dance?

- Sure.

Don't mind if I do.

- Not so fast, stranger.

I'm fixing to have
this dance with Lulu.

- While you was fixin'
to have it, I started.

You can have the
next dance, maybe.

- No.

I'm going to have this one.
- Wait!

- I'm having this one!

- Wait a minute!

There are other girls
here with stronger arms.

- Looks like you don't realize
who you're messing around with,

shorty.

- No, and I don't care, chubby.

- Where I come from, they
call me the Laramie Kid.

[tense music]

That change your
thinking, stranger?

- It's all right.

I'll dance with him.

- You stay right
where you are, sister.

Don't start pushing me, Mister.

- Nobody, nobody talks that
way to the Laramie Kid.

Any time you're ready, shorty.

[gunshots]

- So that's just about
the way it happened.

- But you told us your great
grandfather outdrew the Laramie

Kid.
- Well, he did.

See, my great grandfather
drew more people out

to his funeral than
the Laramie Kid.

- Aw!

- Aw, you made that story up.

- Well, maybe I added
a little bit to it,

but, uh, my great grandfather
was pretty fast on the draw.

- Hey, Mr. Nelson,
what time is it?

- Uh, it's almost 5:30.

- Hey, you guys, it's
time for Tex Barton.

- Nah, it's too late.

By the time we get home,
the program will be over.

- Well, look, you can watch
him on our set, if you'd like.

- Gee, thanks!

[music playing]

[toy guns shooting]

- OK, Marshall, just drop
those guns on the ground!

[laughs]

- Oh, it's you, eh?

- Who did you think it was?

Billy the Kid?

- When'd you get the guns,
Oz, for your birthday?

- No, these are Tony's.

- You took them away from him?

Shame on you, Oz.

- [chuckles] No, the kids
are in watching television.

- Well, don't let us
interrupt you, Oz.

Just go on playing.

We'll just saddle up
and ride out of here.

- If you should happen to
pull the trigger before you

get the gun out of
the holster, you

can reach me down
at the Elks Club.

- You want to try 'em, Doc?
- No thanks, Oz.

We've outgrown that.

- Oh, come on now.

You mean to say you guys don't
watch westerns on television?

- Well, sure.

- How can you help it?

- I'll admit, I've
wished lots of times

I could have lived in those
old days of the Wild West.

Have you ever felt that way?

- Oh, I suppose so, when
I was 10 or 11, maybe.

- I gave up the
idea when I was 9,

when I found out about girls.

- [laughs]

- I think every red-blooded
American would like to have

lived in those old days, and
a chance to outlaw the fastest

gun in town.

- Well, I'm not going
to argue with you, Oz,

at least not when you got
those guns in your hands.

- That's pretty smart, partner.

- We didn't come here
to argue anyway, Oz.

We just want to
know what time we

have to be at the
supermarket tomorrow.

- Oh, I guess about 1:00.

- Oh, OK.

See you then.

- OK.

- Draw!

Bang!

Don't just stand there, Doc.

Get the bullet out of that man.

- [laughs]

- [laughs] Come on, Old Faith!

[toy guns shooting]

[light footsteps]

- Shh!

It's Tex Barton.

- Oh!

- All right, Winslow,
I'm calling your bluff.

- If that's the way you want it,
that's the way you'll get it.

All right, Sheriff, let's
see how fast you really are.

- Stop talkin' and
start shootin'.

[toy gun shoots]

[gunshot on tv]

- Did you see that, you guys?

Mr. Nelson got him!

He outdrew him!

- Oh, no, no.

- Oh, yes, you did!

If you had been
there, Mr. Nelson, Tex

would have been dead!

- Then the whole series
would have been over.

- Well, they probably slowed
the film down a little

so you could see exactly
how he was doing it.

- No, they didn't.

You shot him fair and square.

- Who shot who fair and square?

- Mr. Nelson just drew
faster than Tex Barton.

- Well, I guess that's the
end of the series, then.

- No, no, I was just playing
around with Tony's guns.

- That didn't look like
playing around to me.

You handled that gun
like a real gunslinger.

- Oh, that doesn't surprise me.

Mr. Nelson tell you about
his great grandfather?

- Yeah, but Mr.
Nelson's even better.

I bet you could outdraw
Tex Barton in real life.

- Oh, no, he couldn't.

- He could, too.

- He could not.

- Oh, hi there, fellas.
- Hi.

- Hi, Ricky.
- Hi, Rick.

- Hey, Rick, can you sing
Tex Barton's theme song?

- No, I'm afraid I
don't know that one.

I'll have to ask him to teach
it to me at the supermarket

tomorrow.
- Oh, is he going to be there?

- Yeah, in person.

The manager just told me.

- With his guys?
- Oh, yeah.

And they're going to
have a drawing contest.

- Oh, you mean a drawing
for a car or something?

- Oh, no, drawing guns.

Tex is challenging all
comers to try outdraw him.

And if anybody does, they'll
get a free Tex Barton

Indian teepee.
How does that sound, fellas?

- That's just what
we need for our club.

Will you do it, Mr. Nelson?

- Well, do what?

- Win the teepee for us.

- Gee, I don't know, fellas.

- Thanks!

Mr. Nelson's going to win
us some real Indian teepee!

- Uh.

[music playing]

Harriet, what kind
of cereal is this?

- Sure Shots.

- What?

- They're shaped like bullets.

It's Tex Barton's
favorite cereal.

- Thanks a lot.

- Oh.

Here, this came in the box.

There, now.

You're a full-fledged deputy in
Tex Barton's straight shooters.

- Morning, ma'am.

Mind if we come in and
put on the feedbag?

- Not at all.

- I think you know Chester.

- Mighty hungry, ma'am.

- Well, sit a spell.

The vittles are on the table.

- Morning, Marshall.

- Howdy, boys.

- Don't upset the
Marshall, Davey.

He's liable to gun you down.

- No, he wouldn't.

He wouldn't shoot
an unarmed man.

That's the code of the West.

- Yeah, but he's from the East.

- It may interest
you folks to know

I'm not going to be in that
contest this afternoon.

- Well, you can't
disappoint the kids.

You promised them.

- I've already spoken to
them, and they understand.

- What excuse did you give?

- Well, I just told them the
truth, I have to mow the lawn

and work in the yard today.

- You mean you're not
going to hear Ricky sing?

- I heard him sing in
the shower this morning.

He sounded darn good, too.

- Well, that was
me, Pop, but thanks.

- Well, maybe if you started
on the lawn right now,

you can finish in time to
get over to the opening.

[motor sputtering]

- What's that?

- Better take your gun.

It may be the Dalton Boys.

- What's going on, fellas?

- We're doing your lawn
for you, Mr. Nelson,

so you'll be able to
go down to the opening

and shoot it out
with Tex Barton.

- Oh, uh, now wait a second.

That's very nice, boys,
but, gee, these tools

are awful heavy for you guys.

- Oh, that's OK.

Hey, fellas, look!

Mr. Nelson's a sheriff.

- Yeah, I got one of those, too.

- Don't you worry, Mr. Nelson.

We'll finish up the yard.

You go on and practice.

- Oh, well, gee, really,
fellas, I'd rather not.

- You're not afraid of
Tex Barton, are you?

- You kidding?

- No, of course not.

- Of course he isn't.

He just doesn't
want to show him up.

That's it, isn't it, Mr. Nelson?

- Well, yeah, it would be
kind of embarrassing for him.

- Yeah, but he's asking for it.

And when a guy asks for it,
he deserves whatever he gets.

- That's for sure.

- That's the spirit, Mr. Nelson.

How about that, fellas?

We're practically sitting
in the teepee right now.

- Hooray!

[music playing]

- How do you look, Pop?

- Pretty desperate.

You got the stopwatch?

- Right here.

- OK, you count to three.

- 1, 2, 3.

[frantic music]

A minute and 25 seconds.

- Oh, that's impossible.

- Well, whatever it
was, you're dead.

- Gun's stuck in the holster.

Give me another chance here.

- OK, but in the old days,
you only had one chance.

- This isn't the old
days, fortunately.

I'll try it with my left hand.

- 1, 2, 3.

- Hey, I didn't hit
anybody down there, did I?

- No!
What happened?

- Well, the gun slipped
out of my hands.

It was a little accident.

Will you bring it in the
house for me, Tony, please?

- OK.

- Thanks.

[rock music]

- [SINGING] I believe
what you say when you say

you're goin' steady
with nobody else but me.

I believe what you
say when you say you

don't kiss nobody else but me.

I believe, do believe, I
believe, yeah, I believe,

pretty baby,
believe you're goin'

steady with nobody else but me.

Well, there's a-one thing,
baby, that I want you to know.

When you're rockin' with
me, you don't rock too slow.

I'll move on and get toe-to-toe.

We're going to rock till
we can't rock no more.

I believe, do believe, I
believe, yeah, I believe,

pretty baby,
believe you're goin'

steady with nobody else but me.

Well, let's dig in now.

[guitar solo]

Well, I believe
what you say when

you say you don't miss
nobody else but me.

I believe what you
say when you say you

don't kiss nobody else but me.

I believe, do believe, I
believe, yeah, believe,

pretty baby,
believe you're goin'

steady with nobody else but me.

Well, when you kiss me, baby,
then you roll your eyes,

I get a funny feeling
that I'm hypnotized.

Chills run all up
and down my spine.

I tell everybody that
you're mine, all mine.

I believe, do believe, yeah,
I believe, oh, believe,

pretty baby, believe you're
goin' steady with nobody else

but me.

Oh, yeah!

Well, I believe, do believe,
yeah, believe, well, believe,

pretty baby,
believe you're goin'

steady with nobody else but me.

[cheering and applause]

- Isn't this great, folks?

Really great.

And now, we're going to
have a short intermission.

Right afterwards, we'll
have the fast draw

contest with Tex Barton, one of
the fastest guns on television.

In the meantime, folks, don't
forget our sardines and fruit

cocktails.

- Well, won't be long now.

- Yeah.

- Maybe I can get
some shopping done.

I'll see you back here later.

- OK.
- Hi, Oz.

We've been looking
all over for you.

- Oh!
- Gee, Rick sure sounded great.

- Oh, yeah.
- He sure did.

- He sure did.

Well, thanks a lot for
coming down, fellas.

Uh, where's your car parked?
You're leaving now, aren't you?

- Oh, no, no, no.

We're going to stay around
and watch Tex Barton.

- Sure, we want to
see the gun fight.

- Oh, no, that's kid stuff.

- Kid stuff?

When they first made
that announcement,

we kind of thought
maybe you were

going to enter the contest.

- Oh!

- Mr. Nelson, Tex
Barton's waiting.

They want to start the
contest right away.

- So you are
entering the contest?

- Oh, well, I thought
I might try and win

that Indian teepee for the kids.

- Come on, Mr. Nelson.

You're going to be first.

- Well, so long, partner.

See you on Boot Hill.

- Bye, Oz.

- I might not even win.

- Oh, sure.

- Hey, I don't know if
I ought to watch this.

I can't stand the
sight of blood.

- [laughs]

- Good luck, dear.

I'm counting on you.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- And here he is, Tex Barton.

[applause]

Good afternoon, Tex.
- Thank you.

- Come on, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, here goes nothing.

- And here's our
first challenger.

[applause]

- Howdy, partner.
- Hi.

Careful.

That's my shootin' hand there.

- Oh, sorry.

- OK.

- How's it feel?

- It's kind of heavy, isn't it?

- Yeah, the men of the
Old West were really men.

- You gentlemen ready?

- Uh, yes, fine.
Thank you.

- OK.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a man here

who is going to try to outdraw
Tex Barton, the fastest

gun alive, and that's mainly
the reason he's still alive.

I'm sure most of you
know our challenger.

He lives here in
the neighborhood.

Mr. Ozzie Nelson.

[applause]

Now, I want you folks to imagine
that this is a real gunfight.

This isn't the parking
lot of our new supermarket

where we have a special
today on picnic hams.

This is the main street of that
roaring town of the Old West,

Muddy Gulch, Wyoming.

Standby, folks, and get ready
to clear the main street.

Now, Six-Gun Nelson
here has just

come out of the
Happy Hour Gambling

Palace, when suddenly
he comes face-to-face

with his arch rival, Tex Barton.

They look at each
other, and then

start that long, slow walk from
which only one will return.

- All right, Nelson, go for
your gun whenever you're ready.

- Why don't you draw?

- I'll count three,
and you'd better draw.

One.

Two.

Three.

[gunshots]

[applause]

- Hey, this consolation
prize isn't bad.

I'm almost glad you didn't win.

- Well, that Tex is
pretty fast on the draw.

I'm just sorry to
disappoint the kids, though.

I was hoping I'd win
that teepee for them.

- Oh, well, they'll
forget all about it.

- Hi, Oz.
- Oh!

- Hello, guys.
Hi, boys.

- Hiya, fellas.

- Hey, you left kind of early.

- Well, there was nothing more
for me to hang around there

for.

- Well, you were pretty
fast on the draw, Oz,

but not quite fast enough.

- Look, I don't want to sound
like I'm making excuses,

but I think I might
have had a chance

with that guy with my
gun stuck in the holster.

- Yeah, too bad, Oz.

Take a look at the man who
really did outdraw Tex Barton.

- You?

- No.

Me.

- Butch, that's wonderful!

Congratulations.

- Easy, Harriet.

Any sudden move, he's
liable to go for his gun.

- How did you do it?

- Oh, I just used
the old psychology.

You see, I saw this long
line of guys challenging him,

so I just got around
at the end of the line.

By the time he got to
me, he was so tired,

he could hardly lift the
gun out of the holster.

[laughs]

- Well, that's cheating!

- Well, somebody had to win
the teepee for the kids.

- You think you're top gun
in this territory, partner?

You're going to have
to prove it to me.

[laughter]

- Hold your fire, men.

- [laughs] What have
you got there, Rick?

- The manager at the
supermarket gave it to me,

a whole case of
Dinkendorf's fruit cocktail.

You know, Mom, the singing
business pays off pretty good.

- OK, men, I think we've
done enough talking.

Step back, Butch, and
reach for your gun.

- I'm unarmed.

You wouldn't shoot
an unarmed man.

- No, I guess you're right.

That's the code of the Old West.

I'll tell you this much, if
you're not out of this town

by sundown tomorrow, you'd
better be wearing your guns.

- I'll be wearing
them, stranger.

And we'll see who's top
gun in this territory.

- And I'll be there to see that
everything's fair and square.

- Come on, Doc.

I can see we ain't
welcome around here.

- You keep the Doc close to you.

You'll be a-needing him.

- So long, Rick.

So long, Harriet.

- So long, you varmints.

- You know, Harriet, I'm kind
of glad I didn't beat Tex

to the draw.

- Oh?

- Now, you take old Butch there.

Up until today, he was
just an ordinary citizen,

minding his own business.

Now look at him, a marked man.

Why, his life won't be his own.

Every punk kid in the territory
will be waiting for the chance

to gun down the man that
beat Tex to the draw.

Every time he goes past
a parked car or steps

into an ice cream store,
it will be somebody else.

There's always somebody else.

There's always a
faster gun somewhere.

- And?

- What'd you say?

- Oh, they had a
ham in the basket.

Isn't that nice?

[music playing]

[music playing]

- [SINGING] The kisses
that you used to give

are the sweet, sweet
kisses I relive.

You don't love me
anymore, and I can tell.

I can tell.

Another boy has made you change.

When I'm around,
you're acting strange.

You don't love me
anymore, and I can tell.

- [SINGING] I can tell.

- [SINGING] Maybe you
can't bring yourself

to tell me of him, after
thinking about the love

we used to share.

When you're holding me, I
know you're thinking of him.

No, you don't love me
anymore, and I can tell.

[applause and cheering]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the
American Dairy Association,

representing the dairy
farmers in your area.

- Be sure to keep an extra
supply of milk on hand

for the weekend.

[music playing]