All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S06E23 The Scavenger Hunt 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- Eastman Kodak Company
is happy to bring you

America's favorite
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Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

Like most of us, they
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And now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

[music playing]

- Harriet, are these all
the poker chips we've got?

- Is that all you found?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's all we've got.

- Hey, these look good.

- Hey, nothing doing.

Those are for tonight.

- Well, what difference does
it make if I eat my share now

or tonight?

- Because if you
eat your share now,

there won't be any for tonight.

- Hey, do you want me to
put the bridge table up

in the den for you girls?

- Well, you're not going
to shove us in there again.

- Well, we'll be playing
poker in the living room,

and your bridge game
will disturb us.

- Well, I've got an
easy solution for that.

- What?

- We'll all play poker.

[laughter]

- You mean the
husbands and wives?

- Do you know of a
better arrangement?

- Well, I can't
think of a worse one.

- Tell me this.

Why is it every time
there's a card party,

the husbands go into
one room and play poker,

and the wives have to go into
another room and play bridge?

- Well, because the two
games just don't mix.

- Oh, why don't you admit it?

You just don't want us
to play poker with you.

[laughter]

- Don't be silly.

- Oh, then you do
want us to play?

- Well, certainly it's OK with
us if you want to play poker.

- Fine.

- I'll set up the
card table in the den,

and you girls can
play poker there.

- Oh, wait a minute.

The girls want to
play with the men.

- Oh, Harriet, that
wouldn't be any fun for you.

- Yes, it would.

- No, all that smoke in there.

Besides, tempers get short.

Not only that, poker
is a complicated game.

- Oh, what's
complicated about it?

You try to get one pair
or two pair or three pair.

- There's no such
thing as three pair.

- OK, I'll settle for two pair.

Does that win?

[laughter]

- But if you don't
even know what wins,

how are you going to play?

- You can coach me
during the game.

You look at my hand,
and I'll look at yours.

[laughter]

- I might as well
be blunt about this.

The reason men don't
like to play poker

with women is because they're
just not good poker players.

- And besides, we usually win.

[laughter]

- No, that's not true.

It's just that women have such
a devious way of thinking.

- In other words,
we're smarter than men.

- Boy, that'll be the day.

- Try this.

[crunch]

- Harriet, you put cream
cheese on a poker chip.

- Now, how could
I have done that?

- Well, I don't know.

I thought you said women
were smarter than men.

Is that smart, spreading
cream cheese on a poker chip?

- I didn't bite into it.

[laughter]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Darb.

- I've been looking for you.

Harriet said I'd
find you out here.

- Yeah, I've been
polishing the car.

- What's the matter
with Harriet?

She seemed a little bit edgy.

- Oh, well, we've been having
a little family discussion.

You know what?

She tried to tell me that
women are smarter than men.

- Oh, that's a laugh!

Women are smarter than men.

[crunch]

[laughter]

What is that thing?

- That's a poker chip
with cream cheese on it.

- Oh, well, that's kind of a
cute idea for the poker game

tonight.

Economical, too.

I don't think very many people
will ask for seconds on that.

- Well, the only thing,
there isn't going

to be a poker game tonight.
- Oh, no?

Why not?

- Well, it seems the wives have
decided to play poker with us.

- Oh, no, Oz.

What will we do?

- Well, I guess we'll just
all sit around the living room

and talk.
- To our wives?

[laughter]

- Well, what else
are we going to do?

- Oh, that's ridiculous, Oz.

I haven't talked
to Sally in years.

This is a desperate situation.

We've got to do something.

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mr. Darby.

- Hi, Rick.
- Hey, wait.

Don't eat that
- Why not?

- Well, it's a poker chip.
- No, it's not.

It's just a cracker.

What's the matter, Pop?

- Oh.

Evidently your mother doesn't
consider you as one of the men

yet.
- What's this?

- You're a very lucky boy.

- Say, Pop, you don't happen to
have one of those old clothes

trees around, do you?

- No, I don't think so.

There might be one
out in the garage.

- How about a framed picture
of Theodore Roosevelt?

- Well, I don't know.

Maybe Grandma Hilliard has
one, or there might be one up

in Grandma Nelson's attic.

- What do you need
that stuff for, Rick?

- I'm in a play.

- Oh, good.

What part are you playing?

- I'm the property man.

I have to get all the props.

Well, I better get busy.

- Oh, Rick, how come you're
not acting in the play?

- Well, see, I'm too busy.

See, I have to
get all the props.

You ought to see all the
stuff I have to dig up.

It's like a regular
scavenger hunt.

- Oh, well, good luck.
- Thanks, Pop.

- Hey, that sounds
like it might be fun.

- You mean being a
property man for a show?

- No, no, no, a scavenger hunt.

We haven't had one
for a long time.

And if we can't
play poker tonight,

why don't we organize one?

It'll be a lot better
than just sitting

around talking to the wives.

- We could make a
contest out of it--

the husbands against the wives.

- Yeah.

- See, and if the
wives win, then we

let them play poker with us.

But if we win, the wives
have to agree they'll never

ask to play with us again.

- Yeah, but what if we lose?

- We can't lose!

I'll make up the list of
things we have to get.

- Yes, sir.

Oz, men are smarter than women.

We can't help it with a
genius like you on our side.

[laughter]

- You're just saying that.

- No.

[laughter]

- On behalf of the women,
I accept your challenge.

- OK.

Remember, if the
men win, there'll

be no more squawking about the
girls playing poker with us.

- That's OK with me.

- OK, I'll go make out the
list of things we have to get.

- Hey, wait a minute, genius.

We'll have a disinterested
party make out the list.

- Who, for instance?

- Well, there's David.
- What's this?

- Dave, how would
you like to make out

a list of things for us for
a scavenger hunt tonight?

- Oh, a scavenger hunt!

That sounds like fun.

But I can't make out the list
if I'm going to be in it?

- Well, no, it's just the
husbands against the wives.

You won't be in it.

- Oh, gee.

- Well, don't worry, Dave.

It'll be much easier on your
teeth that way, believe me.

- I'll go work out the list.

- You just make it out
and then show it to me

and I'll check it over.

- Nothing doing.

- I just mean for mistakes and
spelling and things like that.

- He can use a dictionary.

[jaunty music playing]

- Hey, Dave?
- Don't disturb me, will you?

I'm thinking.

- Oh, I thought I smelled
something burning.

[laughter]

- Yeah, I'm working on
something for Mom and Pop.

- Is there any writing
paper around here?

- Are you going to get somebody
to write a letter for you?

- I need it for a play
we're doing in school.

- Are you in it?

- No, I'm the property man.

I got to write a letter they're
going to use in the second act.

Oh, here's some.

This will do fine.

- Hey, you're not going to use
my good writing paper for that.

- Well, it's the most
important part of the play.

See, the wife finds
this letter and that's

why she murders her husband.

- Oh, it's a comedy, huh?

- Yeah, it's very funny.

They convict her of
first-degree murder.

[laughter]

- Serves her right for
reading the letter.

- Don't wives always read
stuff they find lying around?

- Oh, I don't know.

Ask Mom.
- I better ask Pop.

He's supposed to be
the authority on women

in this house.

- Look, ask anybody you
want, but leave me alone

for a minute.

I'm trying to do
something for Mom and Pop.

- Oh, I beg your pardon, Sahib.

Return to your thinking.

You'll find the aspirin
in the medicine chest.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Oz?

- Oh, hi, Darb.

- Door was open, so
I walked right in.

- Fine.

- What'd Harriet think
about the scavenger hunt?

- Oh, she was all for it.

In fact, she seemed pretty
confident the women would win.

- Yeah.

You know, Sally seemed
pretty confident, too.

You don't think they got
something up their sleeves?

- Well, like what?

- Well, like maybe taking
a peek at that list

David's making out.

- Oh, I know they want
to win pretty badly,

but they wouldn't stoop
to anything like that.

- Where is Harriet?

- Oh, I think she's upstairs.

- Where's David?

- Well, I don't know.

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mr. Darby.

- Oh, hi.
- Where's Dave?

- Upstairs, working on
something for you and Mom.

- Oz.

- Oh, that doesn't mean
anything, necessarily.

- Pop, can I ask you a
hypothetical question?

- Well, sure.

- Would a wife read something
she wasn't supposed to?

- Well, I don't know.

That depends on the wife and
how important it was to her.

- Well, suppose it
was a woman like Mom

and she wanted to
find out something.

- Something like what?

- Well, something she
weren't supposed to know.

- I told you so, Oz.

- That's the way
they want to play.

- What about the question, Pop?

- Rick, I'm sorry to
say, the answer is yes.

- That's what I told Dave.

Thanks, Pop.

- Well, Oz?

- I just can't believe it.

- Well, you can't expect a
woman to play a game according

to the rules.

If they did, we'd
still be single.

- If they can break
the rules, so can we.

All's fair in love and
the rest of that stuff.

- You bet it is.

Limber up your
shooting irons, Oz.

The chips are down.

No, thank you.

Not for me.

- I made these.

[laughter]

- Doggone it, Oz.

- How do you like that?

Harriet must have sneaked
a poker chip in there.

[laughter]

Can't trust a woman.

This is a fight to the finish.

- And no holds barred.

- The war is on.

[applause]

[ominous music playing]

- Can't we move the lamp
any closer to the desk?

- No.

That's all the
microphone wire we have.

It's a long way from this
room clear up to the attic.

- Yeah.

We did a good job of
hiding the wires there.

- Now, all we have to do is make
sure David sits at this desk

here when he makes out the list.

Then we can listen
in, copy it down,

and start collecting the
stuff this afternoon.

- It doesn't seem quite honest.

- It's just self-defense, Oz.

You heard what Ricky said.

Harriet's going to try and
get a look at that list.

We don't want those women
to collect all that stuff

before we do.

- Oh, that's for sure.

- Well, why don't you go up
to the attic and listen in,

and I'll test the
microphone from down here.

- OK.

[music playing]

- Testing.

Testing for voice level.

1, 2, 3.

[SINGING] I'm confessin'
that I love you.

Tell me, do you love me, too?

- Oh, brother.

[laughter]

- Testing.

1, 2, 3.

- She's a pretty cute girl.

Does she have a
sister about my age?

- I'm afraid not.

- Testing.

1, 2, 3.

- Hi, Pop.

- It's-- ah!

Just test-- testing one,
two, three bulbs in the lamp.

- You feel all right?

- Oh, yes.

Dave, have you made
out your list yet

for the scavenger hunt?
- Oh, no.

I haven't, Pop.

- Well, gee, don't you think
you'd better get started, son?

- Oh, gee.
I have plenty of time.

- Oh, no.

Don't get in the habit
of putting things off.

Sit right down now
and make the list out.

Here's a pen.

Now-- it's Ricky.

You have plenty of light here?

Why don't I turn this
lamp on, and then

we'll move the desk over a
little closer to the lamp?

- No, I can see fine, Pop.

- I don't want to
strain your eyes.

- No, I've got plenty of light.
- It'll only take a minute.

I can move this desk right over.

- No, I'm fine, Dad.

- Oh, OK.

Well, I'm leaving, now.

Leaving.

Leaving.

[music playing]

- Have they started
the list yet?

- No, they've just been talking.

- What about?
- You.

- Me?

What have they been saying?

- Well, I don't think
I'd better tell you, Oz.

And besides, I know you're
not off your rocker.

[laughter]

- Sometimes I'm not so sure.

- Tell me some more
about this girl.

- Well, let me get this
list started first.

- Well, what's her name?

- Her name's Mary, and she sits
next to me in English class.

- No wonder his marks have
been falling off in English.

- Have you made a
date with her yet?

- Yeah, I'm going to take
her skiing this weekend.

- Come on.

Get to the list.

- Is she a good skier?

- Get to the list.

- No, I don't know.

- Get to the list.

- I've got a feeling I
ought to get to this list.

[laughter]

- You ought to start 'em
out with something easy.

Hey, how about a hairpin
from the switchboard operator

at the hotel?

- Yeah, that's good.

- Write this down, Darb.

- Let me take your pen, Oz.

- I loaned it to David.
Don't you have a pen?

- No, I thought you did.

- No.

- How about on a
1948 license plate?

- Yeah, that sounds good.

- Well, go...

Find one if you can.

- All right, but you
remember that stuff.

- A pen.

- No, no, no, a hairpin.

[laughter]

- Yeah.

A hairpin and a
1948 license plate.

- Hey, how about one of
those bus stop signs.

- That's illegal.

- Well, what do
you think this is?

- Find something to write with.

- Hey, here's a good one--

An elephant tusk.

- Yeah, that's good.

- I hope you're
remembering those, Oz.

- Yes, yes.

A hairpin, a license
plate, and a tusk-- a tusk.

- A tusk.

Look, I found the shoe polish.

Maybe we could write with that.

- Then you better
find some black paper.

This is white shoe polish.

- Well, that ought to do it.

- You got everything
written down?

- Yep.

- You got everything
written down?

- Boy, there sure is
some hard stuff here, Oz.

- Come on.
We better get going.

- Hi, boys.
- Oh, hi.

- Oh, hi, Mom.
- It's Harriet.

- What have you got there?

- Well, it's the list for
your scavenger hunt tonight.

- Oh, that's very interesting.

- She just walks
in and asks for it!

- Never mind that.
At least we've got a head start.

Come on.

- Don't let Harriet see you.

- Yeah, you better go first.

- Sorry, I can't let you see it.

- Oh, that's all right.

Just make sure your
father doesn't see it.

- Oh, don't worry about that.

- Hey, Darb.

- Oh.

- I got it.

[jaunty music playing]

That sure is heavy.

- Yeah.

- Getting kind of heavy, too.

- Harriet didn't see you coming
up the stairs with this baby

carriage, did she?

- No, she hasn't got back yet.

- She's probably still
looking for an elephant tusk.

- Yeah.

The museum only had one.

Where is she going
to find another?

- Well, she'll just
have to look around

and she finds a small
elephant and a strong dentist.

[laughter]

- Hey, Oz, what are
we going to do tonight

when the scavenger hunt starts?

- Well, we'll just
go out of the house

as if we were
looking for the stuff

and come up here to the
attic and haul it downstairs

and play a few hands of poker
till the girls get back.

[laughter]

Let's cover this stuff over it.

[music playing]

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were a statue
of Benjamin Franklin.

[laughter]

- Well, come on in, everybody.

Hiya, Sally.
Hiya, Joan.

Hi.
- Hi, Oz.

- Hiya, Doc.

Hi, Joe.

- Oz.

- Darb.

- Are things safe
up in the attic?

- Well, I guess so.

I can't figure out where Harriet
hid the stuff she collected.

- Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

She'd never be able to
find all the stuff we got.

I'd like to see her try
and climb that telephone

pole to get a splinter of wood.

- She can sew up
the rip in my pants.

- We've got it made, Oz.

We'll teach those women
to try and outsmart us.

- Oz, come on over here.

You're holding things up.

Now, look, this is the deal.

It's the men against the women.

- Oh, good.

- There's a two-hour time limit.

And whichever side collects
the most things on the list

is the winner.

- Oh!

- Wait a minute.

Who made up the list?

- I did.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

- And I've kept it
well-guarded, too.

May I introduce to
you on your left,

Mr. Ricky Nelson
of PriceWaterhouse.

[applause]

Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen.

May I have the
envelopes, please?

For the ladies
and the gentlemen.

- Oh, hurry.

- Let us see.

- Let's see what
we've got, here.

- Oh, that!
- I know where that is.

[excited chattering]

- On your mark, get set, go!

- I know where the other one--

[laughter]

- Come on, Oz.
Open the envelope.

Don't let them
get too far ahead.

- Oh, I'm worried.

Aren't you, Darb?

- Oh, terribly.

- You open it.

- Darb and I know
a little something

you fellas don't know.

- David, what list is this?!

- David, this isn't
the list we copied?

I just-- didn't you
have another list?

- Another list?

Oh, you must have found
the one in the wastebasket.

[laughter]

- What was it doing
in the wastebasket?

- Well, that's where I threw
it when Ricky and I made up

the new one.

- What did you do that for?!

- Well, I found
most of the stuff

up in our attic when I went
up there to get my skis.

- Most of it?

You found all of it!

- Yeah.

We figured if you could
find all that stuff

right in our own attic, we
better make out a new list.

- Ozzie Nelson, this
is all your fault.

- Well, my-- what are you--

- We'll be playing
poker with those women

for the rest of our lives!

- Let's not argue.

Let's get going.

[music playing]

- We'll have to
take your car, Joe.

Harriet took ours.

- OK, hop in, fellas.

- The door's locked here.
- Doggone it.

Clara took the keys.

- Come on over to my house.

Let's take mine.

[music playing]

- Officer, could you tell me
where Kosciuszko Street is?

- One block down, and
turn to your right.

- One block down and
turn to the right.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[music playing]

[laughter]

[dog growling]

[laughter]

- There you are, Oz.
See?

What did I tell you.

- Oh, well, yeah.

I don't think we
ought to go in here.

- Yeah, but Oz, this is
the only place in town

we'll be able to get one
of those frilly garters.

- Even if we go in
and see the show,

how are we going
to get the garter?

- Well, we can figure out
a way when we get in there.

- Come on, Joe.
Let's buy some tickets.

- No, Doc.

No, no, no.

There's no sense in all
of us going in there.

- Well, why not?

You guys have all the fun.

- Come on, Oz.

You fellas get--

- Oh, wait a minute.

What about us?

- You'll give away the plot.

- Oh, that's right.

- A fine thing.

- What plot?

[laughter]

- I got it, fellas.
- Great.

- Come on.
Let's go.

- Where's Darby?
- Well, he'll be right out.

He's explaining
things to the manager.

- Gentlemen, you've
got the wrong idea!

- And don't come back.

- Them college boys,
always makin' trouble.

[laughter]

- We got it.

- Good.

Reminds me of my grandfather.

- What's next on the list?

- A sailor's hat.

- Well, now, where are we
going to find a sailor?

- Well, when Joe
was in the Navy,

you could always find
him in a dance hall.

- Good.

I'll look for dance hall.

[music playing]

[laughter]

[lively music playing]

- There's a sailor over there,
and he's looking over here.

- Wanna dance, honey?

- Oh, well, maybe later.

Thanks, anyway.

- Chicken.

[laughter]

- Go ahead, Harriet.

It's your turn.

- Me?

I'm the mother of
two grown sons.

- Well, you're not going
to go steady with him.

All you want is his hat.

[laughter]

- What about you?

- I'll hold your coat.

- How about it, sister?

Care to join the Navy
in a few maneuvers?

- Oh, yeah, I--

[laughter]

- What's next, Rick?

- One pair of long
winter underwear.

- Oh, well, here are ours.

- Why don't you
wear this kind, Joe?

You'd look cute in these.

- You mean he doesn't?

[laughter]

- How about the men?
- Yep.

- Here are ours.

- Oh.

- Well, what's the final score?

- Looks like a tie.

- A tie?

- Oh, I guess this proves that
we women are smarter than you

men.
- Yeah.

[applause]

- Well, no.

It proves you're just
as smart as we are.

- Oh, well, I'm glad to
hear you admit it, dear.

- Actually, it just
proves that nobody won.

[laughter]

- Well, we sure had a good time.

[exclaiming]

- Well, what are we going
to do with all this stuff?

- Well, I'll take
it off your hands

if you help me get
it over to school.

- What do you mean?

- Well, these are all the
props I needed for the play.

Pretty good idea, huh?

[laughter]

- You mean you got David to
put these things on the list?

- Yeah.

You see, you proved
something after all.

- Well, we certainly didn't
prove that men are smarter

than women.

- Well, we didn't prove that
women are smarter than men,

either.

- No, but you proved that
boys are smarter than people.

[laughter]

- Well, let's play poker.

- Oh, good!

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Men only.

- Aw.

- I'm out.

- Think I'll go see how
the girls are doing.

- You're a brave man.

- I'll raise you five.

- I'll see you.

- What have you got?

- Five aces.

[laughter]

- You can't have five aces.

- You play poker your way,
and we'll play our way.

- In the first place, there
are only four aces in the deck.

You've got one, two, three
of them and a 9 and a 5.

- Well, 5's and 9's are wild.

- Oh, well, I win anyway.

I've got red-sies.

- You've got red-sies?

- Yeah, red-sies-- two
hearts and three diamonds.

[laughter]

- Listen, Ozzie, will you
please settle an argument?

Do red-sies beat black-sies?

[laughter]

- I, uh--

I really don't know.

- He's supposed to
know how to play poker.

[laughter]

[applause]

[music playing]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are
brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak
Company, who remind you

that the name Kodak
on your camera or film

is your guarantee of quality.

If it's made by Kodak,
you know it's good.

This has been an ABC Television
Network Film Presentation.