Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Harriet Nelson.

I just thought you'd might like to know that the Nelson family

magazine is on your newsstands right now.

It's just full of stories and pictures of all the Nelsons,

especially David and Rick.

Don't forget, it's on your newsstand right now.

[music playing]

- Eastman Kodak Company is happy to bring you

America's favorite family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times together.

And, like most of us, they know that good times

are snapshot times, outdoors and indoors, too.

Like the Nelsons, you too can save those heartwarming scenes

that happen only indoors.

Flash pictures are easy to take, priceless to keep.

And this new flash holder makes them even easier.

It's the new Kodak rotary flash holder.

It holds six bulbs at a time, so you can take six flash pictures

in a row without stopping to put in new bulbs.

For extra convenience, you can buy low-cost flashbulbs

in this special six-pack.

The new Kodak rotary flash holder comes in two models

to fit nearly all cameras.

This model costs $10.95.

See it at your photo dealers.

Another new reward in pictures by Kodak.

And now, Kodak invites you to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Oh, say, before I forget it, those insurance policies

you were asking about came in the mail.

- Oh, they get here this morning?

- No, day before yesterday.

They're out there on the table in the front hall.

I thought you might want to put them in the safe deposit box

when you're downtown.

- Gee, Harriet, I was just down at the bank yesterday.

Why didn't you tell me?

I could have saved myself a trip.

I'm sorry.

I just forgot about it.

- What you need is a memory system.

- Such as what?

- Well, most of them are based on association of ideas.

For instance, uh, what were the things

you were supposed to do yesterday?

- Well, let's see.

I had to stop at the knit shop and get some blue yarn.

I had to sew a button on your plaid sport jacket,

make a phone call to my mother.

I addressed some cards for the women's club.

Uh, return the card table to Clara,

and call the rug cleaners.

And there was something else.

- Remind Pop to put the insurance

papers in the safe deposit box.

- Oh, yes.

Want me to repeat those again?

- No.

I've got them all memorized.

Buy blue yarn, sew a button on the plaid jacket,

phone your mother, addressed cards for the women's club,

uh, return the card table, call the rug cleaners,

and remind me to go to the safe deposit box.

- Boy, you're ahead of me, Pop.

- [chuckles] Well, it's easy.

You just associate everything with a blue cat.

- A blue cat?

- Blue cat?

- A ball of yarn reminds you of a cat.

And you want blue yarn, so it would be a blue cat, right?

- It's your system.

- OK, that's all you need to remember.

See, the word "cat" automatically

reminds you of the yarn, the women's club, and your mother.

That is, uh, your mother always likes cats.

Cats like to lie on rugs, and you usually

put your card table on a rug.

And as for the safe deposit box, I saw a cat on the corner

the last time I went to the bank.

- Sounds kind of complicated to me.

- Well, no.

- What about the sports jacket, Pop?

- Oh, well, see, then I visualize this cat

wearing a plaid sports jacket.

- What cat is this?

- The big, blue cat.

- Oh, crazy, man!

- You know it.

- OK, but it works.

Well, I got to get going.

Bye. See you later.

- Bye. - So long, fellas.

- Bye, Pop.

- See you, Pop.

Has anybody seen my Spanish book?

- Not me.

- Not me.

- It was around here last night.

Maybe Pop knows where it is.

- Wait a minute, Ricky.

Whatever you do, don't ask Pop.

[music playing]

- Boy, I haven't seen a safe like that in years.

- That's one of the real old-fashioned heavy ones.

They don't make them like that anymore.

- I wonder how much a safe like that would cost.

- Well, it's pretty old.

I guess you could buy it for about $50.

- Oh, really?

That sounds quite reasonable.

- Would you be willing to pay $50 for it?

- Yeah, I think I would.

- OK, you just bought yourself a safe.

- You mean this is your safe?

- Well, I'm the dealer.

I'm taking it out.

How about it?

Do you want it?

- Well, I'll tell you, I'll give you $40 for it.

- $60.

- $45.

- $55.

- $50.

- Sold.

You drive a hard bargain.

- [chuckles]

[music playing]

I hope I'm not making a mistake here.

- Don't worry about that.

You got yourself a good safe.

Here you are.

Bill of sale.

And here's the combination.

- Okay.

- OK, Mr. Peterson.

- Oh, bye, Mike.

Well, thanks a lot.

- Well, thank you.

- Oh, Mike?

Mike?

- Is this your safe, Mister? - Yes, it is.

I just bought it. It's a beauty, isn't it?

- Yeah, it sure is.

How are you going to get it home?

- Oh, uh, Mr.--

Hey, hey!

[music playing]

What do you think?

- I think I should kick myself for remembering

to ask you to stop down at the safe deposit vault.

- Oh, Harriet, this is very practical.

Now we have our own safe deposit vault right in our home.

- Can we all use this, Pop?

- Well, certainly.

- What have you got to put in it?

- Well, for one thing, the $12.35 worth of IOUs from you.

- No, really, it'll be very convenient.

- Well, you can put these in there.

- What are those? - The insurance papers.

You forgot and left them on the hall table this morning.

- Oh!

Well, see, there's a horse on me.

- What was that?

- That's the combination to the safe.

- You locked it in there!

- [laughs] I gave you a bit of a start there for a minute?

- Well, you certainly did.

I hope you have a copy of it.

- Oh, I did better than that.

I memorized it.

Don't be so worried!

- Are you sure, Pop?

- Oh, sure!

It's easy if you use the association of ideas.

You see, when we lived back in Ridgefield Park,

our street number was 378 Teaneck Road.

And we lived on the left hand side of the street.

So I turn left until 78 comes up three times.

Now, in my freshman year in college,

I had a friend named Joe Wright.

We were both 17 years old.

So, that's twice, there were two of us.

For the Joe Wright.

17.

Now, the man who sold me this safe was named Johnson.

And people named Johnson lived to the left of us back home.

- Are you sure you're not making all this up, Pop?

- Just wait, you'll see.

Now, Johnson, J-O-H-N, that's four letters.

So I turn left until 35 comes up four time.

- Now, wait a minute.

Where does 35 come in here?

- Well, when we moved to Ridgefield Park,

Mr. Johnson was 35 years old.

- Oh, naturally.

How stupid of me.

- Ah, that's OK.

Listen.

You can hear the tumblers fall into place.

- I didn't hear anything, Pop.

- Neither did I.

- Neither did I.

- Well, sometimes, you don't actually hear 'em.

They just kind of--

There we are.

Well, how do you like--?

They must have given us the combination to the wrong safe!

- Maybe you remembered it wrong.

- No, I'm sure I didn't.

You heard me associate the various ideas, one

after another.

[music playing]

- What did you hope to accomplish by that?

- Oh, well, uh, sometimes, if you give it a little tap

with a hammer, it'll open.

- That was some tap.

- This is a big, heavy safe, and a good solid blow, uh,

is a tap to a big, heavy safe.

I know I'm right.

378.

78 to the left three times.

1, 2, 3.

Joe Wright.

17 twice to the right.

- Now, wait a minute.

Are you sure you and Joe Wright were 17?

- Well, yes, Harriet.

The three of us lived together when we were all 17.

There was a Joe Wright, Lefty Burns.

- Lefty!

- No, no.

Uh, forget about Lefty.

Believe me, Harriet, it was Joe Wright.

I know.

- Hey, Pop, Dr. Williams is here.

- Oh, uh, tell him to come on down, Dave.

- Hi, Harriet. - Hi, Doc.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Doc.

- What have we got here?

- That's a good question.

- This is an old-fashioned safe.

I just bought it today.

- Gee, that's a beauty, Oz.

I've always wanted one like that for myself.

- Oh, well, look, I got a wonderful bargain on it.

I could sell it to you real cheap, if you're interested.

- Well, maybe so.

What's the combination?

Open it up, and let's have a look.

- Well, I'm not going to let you know the combination until I'm

sure you're going to buy the safe.

- Well, how can I buy a safe when I don't

know what it looks like inside?

Go ahead, open it up, and I'll turn my back.

- Doc, look, uh, the inside of a safe is the inside of a safe.

Now, do you want to buy this or don't you?

- Oz, I can't buy a safe unless I see it open.

How do I know?

You may not even know the combination.

- I-- I do so.

- You do not.

- I-- I-- I do so.

- You do not.

- I do so!

- Well, go ahead, open it, then.

- Uh, I do so!

- You do not.

- I-- I tell you what happened.

You see, uh, when I bought the safe, uh, the man wrote out

the combination on a little card.

And he gave it to me, and I memorized it.

- Well, where's the card?

Oh, Oz, you didn't.

- I did so.

I-- I-- I mean, uh, look, after you buy the safe,

you can get any locksmith to open it for you.

- Oh, Oz, that's an awful lot of trouble and a big expense.

- Well, look, you can deduct the cost of the locksmith

from the cost of the safe.

- No, I think I'll stick to the safe deposit box.

You don't have to remember any combinations.

- You have to remember where you put the key.

- I always know where the key is.

- Well, where?

- My wife takes care of it.

Let me know when you have another white elephant sale.

[music playing]

- Ozzie?

- What do you want?

- Doc left this for you.

He thought it might help.

- Oh?

What is it?

- It's a prescription for a large bottle of TNT.

[music playing]

- This is the most exasperating darn thing

I've ever encountered.

- You can solve this thing real easy

if you'd just call a locksmith.

- Well, Harriet, I just don't want to call a locksmith.

It's like admitting I'm a failure.

I'd rather sell the darn safe.

- Without the combination?

- Hey, you could advertise in the paper for a safe cracker.

- Now, wait a second.

You may be fooling, Dave, but I think

you've given me the answer.

- What paper are you going to advertise in?

- Listen to this.

Uh, why do people buy safes?

Why do people buy safes, Harriet?

- Well, you can answer that better than any of us.

- Well, people buy safes to protect their valuables

from burglars.

Now, if there were burglars in the neighborhood,

everybody would want to buy a safe.

- You mean you're thinking of becoming a burglar?

- No, but I think it's my duty to warn

the neighbors that there may be a few burglars

in the neighborhood.

- You're not going to start a rumor like that, are you?

- Rumor?

- Well, it's not true.

- Well, how do you know?

It's possible, in which case, we'd

be doing our friends a big favor.

Hand me that telephone, would you, Harriet?

- Not me.

I'm not going to leave my fingerprints on anything.

[music playing]

- Oh, well, you're so right, Charlie.

- How's the rumor going, Pop?

- Shh!

Yeah, well, I'm sure that there's nothing to worry about.

I just thought I ought to let you know.

No, I'm not worried.

See, I bought myself a safe.

Yeah.

Well, if you'd like to take a look at it, come on over.

- Oh, uh, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Darb.

Yeah.

OK, Ed-- uh, Charlie.

I was just talking to Ed.

- Oz, this is important.

- Pardon me.

- Oz, have you heard about all the burglaries

in the neighborhood?

- Did you hear that?

Darb heard about 'em, too.

Yeah.

Well, come over and take a look at the safe any time at all.

OK, so long, Ed--

uh, Charlie.

How'd you hear about it?

- Sally got a phone call.

She says it's very mysterious.

Whoever phoned it sounded as though he had a handkerchief

over the mouthpiece.

- Oh, a handkerchief?

Uh...

- Hi, Oz. Hi, Darb.

Hey, did you guys hear about the burglary?

- When was this?

- Well, it hasn't happened yet, but my wife

got a phone call saying there are

burglars in the neighborhood.

- A phone call, huh?

- Yeah, from Doc's wife!

- Say, I wonder if Joe Randolph knows about this.

- Oh, I imagine so.

I think Butch's wife must have called Clara.

[knocking on door]

- Hey, Oz?

- Oh, hi, Doc.

- Say, Oz, is that safe of yours still for sale?

- Oh, yeah! - Wait a minute.

Safe? What safe is this?

- Well--

- A safe Oz was going to sell me.

How much you want for it?

- I'll give you $60.

- I'll give you $65.

- I'll give you $30.

- $30?

Butch just offered me $65!

- Yeah, but I just remembered you don't even

have the combination.

And you told me I could deduct the cost of a locksmith.

- Oh, well, if Doc's only going to offer you $30,

I'll just raise it to $32.50.

- $33.

- Wait a minute, you guys.

I paid $50 for it.

- How can you remember how much you paid for it when you can't

even remember the combination?

- Well, the man gave me a bill of sale.

- Yeah?

Let's see it.

- Oh!

There.

- Yeah, paid $50 for it, all right.

- Plus $10 for hauling it.

- Hey, who'd he you get it from?

Maybe we could buy one from him.

- Ed Peterson.

- Ed--

- Peterson?

- Yeah.

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5!

- All right, you got five fingers.

So what?

- You see, that's it!

I was figuring on Johnson, J-O-H-N. This is the spot.

I don't think I'll sell the safe.

- Wait a minute, Oz!

What good's a safe if you can't even open it?

- But I can open it now!

- Hi, fellas.

- Joe, what's this for?

- Your safe.

- Who's the new butler, Oz?

- No, look, I don't want to trade.

In fact, I want to keep the safe.

- Oh, I just wanted to put this in it.

I just heard there were some burglars in the neighborhood.

- Oh, oh, that.

Oh, no, that's just a rumor, probably.

- Well, I'm not taking any chances.

Will you please put it in your safe, Oz?

- Hey, this is better than buying a safe.

We can put all our valuable stuff in Ozzie's.

- Good idea.

- Oh, now wait a minute. - Don't worry.

We'll be back, Oz. - No, no--

- Here, Oz.

Just hold it till I get back.

I got to get some more stuff.

- Hey!

- Come on, hurry up, will you, Oz?

- No fair peeking at the combination

- I'm not peeking.

- These numbers are small.

Hey, it works!

[cheering]

- Here you go, Oz.

Here, I'll help.

- I really ought to charge you guys.

- Here.

- What are these?

- My extra set of car keys.

My wife is always losing them.

- I give you Ozzie Nelson, a true friend and neighbor.

- Here! - Here!

- Here!

[laughter]

- Pardon me, Mr. Randolph.

There's a telephone call for you.

- For me? - Uh, yes.

I think it's Mrs. Randolph.

- Oh, thanks, Jim.

- Pardon me.

- You know, Oz has been so darn nice letting us use his safe.

I think we ought to chip in and pay for his Coke.

[laughter]

- Do you think we could swing it?

- Hey, Clara.

What's the matter?

- We've had burglars here.

That's what's the matter.

- Burglars?

We've been robbed!

How'd it happen? - Well, I don't know.

Some of the girls are coming over here to play bridge,

and while I was down at the market,

somebody stole our silver service.

- No--!

Somebody stole our silver service.

Oh, wait a minute, Clara.

Nobody stole it.

I took it over to Ozzie's and put it in his safe.

- I'll explain it to her. Let me talk to her.

- I wish you would. Here, honey.

Ozzie wants to talk to you.

- Hello, uh, Clara?

This was really my fault. Let me tell you what happened.

You see, I was trying to sell this safe,

so I started a rumor that there were

burglars in the neighborhood.

Uh-- well, well, that is it wasn't entirely a rumor.

There could have been.

See, uh, Joe, uh, took your silver service

and put it in my safe.

You can have it any time you need it.

- Well, I need it right now!

The girls will be here any minute!

- Oh, well, uh, OK.

Joe will bring it right back for you.

[chuckles]

Well, gee, I didn't mean any harm.

I mean, you didn't buy the safe, and--

Oh, OK, I'll pick up the checks for the Cokes.

- And the hamburgers.

- What hamburgers?

- The hamburgers we're going to order right now.

- Hey, Jim, double hamburgers for everybody!

[laughter]

- Well, that's life.

You're hero a minute and a bum the next.

[laughter]

- Come on, fellas.

Clara's waiting for the silverware.

- OK, we'll get it, we'll get it.

Take your time.

- Well, that's easy for you to say.

- Hey, it's locked.

- OK, I'll let you in from this side.

Wait a minute.

This door's locked, too.

I got to get the keys.

They're right here in the--

Right there in the ignition.

- Well, don't you have a spare set?

- Well, sure, I have, but don't you remember?

They're locked up in your safe.

- Don't get so excited.

We'll just go up to my house and get 'em.

- Well, how are we going to get there?

- Well, we'll take a cab.

- On you.

- Well, why on me?

- There are burglars in the neighborhood.

- That's not the point.

I just paid for the hamburgers and the Cokes.

I don't have any money left.

- Well, my wallet's home.

I got my old clothes on.

- My wife cleaned me out before I left home.

- Don't look at me.

How about Darb?

- Say, can one of you fellas lend me

a nickel for the parking meter?

- Well, come on, boys.

Walking is good exercise.

- Come on, Oz, hurry up.

Clara needs that silverware.

- Yeah, and I'm going to get a parking ticket.

- The darn thing won't open!

- Oh, don't tell me you forgot the combination again.

- Well, it's the same combination

that opened it before.

- Well, it certainly isn't opening it now.

- How about using this hammer?

- No, no, that doesn't do any good.

It just makes you vibrate all over.

- This whole thing is ridiculous.

Why don't we get a locksmith? - Well, fine.

Who's going to pay for him? - You are.

It's your safe.

- Well, it's your silverware.

I didn't ask you to put it in there.

- There are burglars in the neighborhood.

- I couldn't care less.

OK, we'll phone a locksmith.

Hello, Mr., uh--

- Asbury.

- Mr. Asbury, please.

I want him to open a safe for me.

Oh.

Well, uh, when do you expect him?

Oh.

Well, I'll call back.

He's in South America.

- Oh, hi, fellas. - Oh, hello, Harriet.

- Hi, Harriet. - What's the matter?

- Well, we're trying to locate a locksmith.

- What for?

- Well, the darnedest thing happened.

I finally figured out how to get the safe open,

and the fellas came over here and put some of their valuables

in it, and then we went down the drugstore.

And when I came back just a little while ago,

I used the same combination, and the safe wouldn't open.

- Oh, well, that's easy to understand.

I called a locksmith and had the combination changed.

- Oh!

Where is it?

Oh, Harriet, you didn't.

- Well, that's all right, dear.

I used your system to memorize it.

- Well, we need it now.

- We got to get it open.

- Oh, all right.

Well, now, I took piano lessons when I was eight years old.

- Anybody got a pencil? - Oh, yeah, here.

I got one.

- Is that the first number, eight?

- Yeah, right. - Eight.

- Now, some pianos have three pedals.

- Three.

- No, you hardly ever use the middle one, so that's two.

Now, the first piece I ever learned to play

was one of the themes from Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

- That's, uh, five?

- No, it was on page 34 of the book.

- Oh.

Three and four?

- That's right, seven.

- 8-2-7.

- Now, when we were married, I was 21.

- Oh, oh, two and one.

What have you got there, Doc?

- I got it, Oz.

8-2-7-2-1.

- Let's go, Oz.

- Oh, uh, pardon us.

- Seven.

- Two.

- Two.

- One.

- One.

- OK, open it.

- It's a great memory system.

- What's the matter with it?

- Well, I tried it with the numbers you gave me,

and it doesn't work!

- Oh, well, let me at it.

- Hey, how did you do that?

- Who cares?

Let me get my silver.

It's gone!

- Are you looking for the coffee set?

- Yeah.

- Oh, well, I took that over to Clara right

after the locksmith opened the safe for me.

- Well, where are my car keys?

- Well, Sally came and got those.

Do you don't know you left your car out

in front of the drugstore?

- Uh, now, uh, hey, whoa!

Harriet, how are you going to get that open again?

- I can open it anytime I want to.

- Well, not with the combination of numbers you gave us.

- Yes, with a combination of numbers I gave you.

- Look, I don't want to get in the middle of a family

argument, but Ozzie did dial 8-2-7-2-1,

and the safe wouldn't open.

- It wouldn't open!

- Well, naturally.

He should have dialed Grandview 8-2-7-2-1.

- Well, that sounds like a telephone number.

- It is.

It's the locksmith's telephone number.

Anytime I want to open the safe, I dial his number,

and he tells me the combination.

- OK, boys, the sedatives are on me.

[ending theme]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are brought to you on film

by Eastman Kodak Company.

This week, visit your regular Kodak dealer

for reliable service in all your picture needs.

This has been an ABC television network film presentation.