All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E18 The Safe Driver 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

The dishwasher stops all
your dish-washing drudgery.

[vocalizing]

Hotpoint's electric range
cooks automatically.

Every day's a holiday
with Hotpoint.

The refrigerator with
wonderful frost-away.

[vocalizing]

Washer and dryer mean
goodbye to wash day.

Hotpoint dealers bring you
"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

- How's that, Pop?

- Well, that was
very good, Rick.

In fact, it was perfect right
up until the very end here.

Uh, you didn't
put your hand out.

- What do I have to
put my hand out for?

- Well, to signal to the
driver in back of you

that you're going to stop.

- Oh, I know that, Pop, but
there's no cars in back of me

in the driveway.

- Well, and
nevertheless, you ought

to make a habit of it,
Rick, so it's second nature.

Every time you bring
the car to a stop, just

automatically stick
your hand-- oh!

I'm sorry, dear.

I was just illustrating a
few hand signals to Ricky.

- That's all right.
I can take it.

Say, where have you guys been?

I've been waiting
for the groceries.

- Oh, I'm glad you
asked that question.

Uh, we were detained slightly.

- We sure were.

Guess what happened
to Pop downtown.

- Please, Rick, let
your own dad tell it.

- Where's the bread?
- Harriet, you're not listening.

It's a very interesting story.
- Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

What were you saying?

- Well, uh, you'll
never believe this,

but, uh, I was driving along the
road, minding my own business,

and all of a sudden,
a motorcycle policeman

drove up and stopped us.

- I can believe it.

- No, no, no, listen
to the whole story.

- Oh, never mind the buildup.

How much is the fine?

[laughter]

- There was no fine.

You know what a
big thing they're

making out of safety week with
the parade and everything?

Well, they're giving out
safe driving awards too.

- Oh, you got a
safe driving award?

- Yeah!
- You're kidding.

- No, no!

- Go ahead, show it to her, Pop.

- Here, hold these
packages a second.

There, how do you like that?

- Oh, that's very nice.

- Yeah, I think so.

I'll hang it up some place.

- Hey!

- I was demonstrating
a few things to Rick

about safe driving when the
police officer stopped us.

- Oh?

- Don't say "oh" like that.

I always drive carefully anyway.

- I know you do.

What did you say when he asked
you for your driver's license?

- Well, he didn't ask
me for my license.

Harriet, he wasn't
giving me a ticket.

He was giving me a
safe driving award.

- But what would you have said
if he had asked you for it?

- Well, I would have
just showed it to him.

Why do you keep
harping on my license?

- Because you left
it on your dresser.

- Land sakes, how about that?

Well, of course, this
isn't any big crime.

- No, but it could have
been pretty embarrassing.

- Well, no, not necessarily.

A lot of people leave
their licenses home.

Actually, it wouldn't
have made any difference

if I left it at home or not.

- Oh, that's for sure.

It expired two months ago.

- Holy smokes, how about that?

- Boy, it's lucky
I wasn't driving

when the cops stopped us.
I'd be in jail.

- Well, no, Rick, this has
nothing to do with you.

- Sure, it has.

All I have is a
learner's permit.

I'm supposed to have a
licensed driver with me.

- Well, I'm a licensed driver.

I'm a licensed driver
whose license has expired.

- It seems to me
if you're driving

with a licensed driver's
whose license is expired,

you're not driving
with a licensed driver.

- If you want to get technical
about it, drive with Dave.

- Oh, yeah.

Hey, David?

- I don't know why you
have to keep getting

your license renewed anyway.

It seems to me once you have
a license, that should be it.

- I suppose.

- Why do they have to
keep checking up on you?

It's like being on parole.

- Well, anyway, you'd better
have your license renewed.

- Oh, I'll have it renewed.

- And I am proud of you for
getting the safety award.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

[music playing]

- Ricky just told me
about the award, Pop.

Congratulations.

- Oh, thanks, son.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it.
- I think it's a great idea.

- Hello?

- Well, it's all part of
the safety week campaign.

- Yes, he is.
It's for you, dear.

- Oh, who is it?

- I didn't get his name.

It's somebody on the
safety week committee.

- Safety week committee?

Maybe they heard about
my license expiring.

My license's expiring.

This is very embarrassing.

Hello?

Well, yes, this is
Ozzie Nelson Expiring.

Speaking.

Oh.

Yeah.

The chief of police?

Yes?

Tomorrow.

Well, thank you very much.

Harriet, guess what?

- Don't worry, dear.

I'll bake a cake
with a file in it.

- No, no, uh, that
was the chairman

of the whole committee.

They want me to drive a car
in the big parade tomorrow.

- Well, good for you.

- See, they're going to have all
the award winners driving cars,

and the various city officials
are going to be in it.

And each one of us is to--

I'm supposed to drive
the chief of police.

- Oh!

- Gee, how about that?

- Hey, that's a
great honor, Pop.

- Oh, well, thank you, son.

- Is it going to be
the same as last year?

- Uh, no.

The theme is going to
be a little different.

They're calling it "The
Progress of Transportation."

They're going to have a lot
of old model cars and all.

Sounds interesting,
huh, Harriet?

- Oh, it sounds--
- Hey, Rick!

- --wonderful, dear.

Say, you'd better go
down this afternoon

and have your license renewed.

- Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want
to drive the chief of police

with an expired license.

- Oh, there's Thorny.

Have you told him
about the award?

- Oh, well, no, I don't
want to sound boastful.

I mean, I imagine they gave
out quite a few of them.

- Well, I'll bet they didn't.

I think it's something
to be very proud of.

- Oh, well, Thorny will hear
about it sooner or later.

Hey, Thorny!

Thorny!

- [laughs] Oz, that's the
funniest thing I ever heard of.

- Well, I don't see
what's funny about it.

I think it's a big honor
to drive in the parade.

- I wasn't laughing at that.

But here it is, you're
getting an award

for being a safe driver, and
you don't even have a license.

[chuckles]

- I have a license.

It's just expired.

I'm going to get it
renewed this afternoon.

- Well, you'd better.

I hope you studied
up for the test.

- What do I need to study for?

I've been driving a car
since I was 16 years old.

- Oz, they give
you a written exam!

- Well, so what?

I mean, they're all
standard questions.

- Well, I know, but
they're pretty tricky.

They look easy, but
there's a catch to 'em.

- How tricky can they be?

You just use your common sense.

- Look, why don't
you just study up

and take in a couple of days?

- Well, I can't do that.

I've got to drive the chief of
police in the parade tomorrow.

I can't drive him
without a license.

It's getting cold out here.

- You ought to wear a sweater.

- Well, I'm going to put a
topcoat on when I go downtown.

Besides, it's always
warm in the bus.

- Bus?

Well, aren't you going to drive?

- Well, of course not.

I'm not going to drive
without a license.

- Well, look, I'll
drive you down there.

- Well, why didn't you say so?

That's what I've
been hinting about.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Come to think of it, I drove
you down to the license bureau

the last time, remember?

- Oh, yeah, you got your
license renewed the same time.

- Sure.

- Wait a minute.

If you got your license
renewed at the same time

and mine is expired--

- You got a bus fare for two?

[laughter]

- Come on, let's go.

[music playing]

Good afternoon.

We'd like to get our driver's
licenses renewed, please.

- OK, gentlemen.

- Uh, we came down on the bus.

- The bus driver drove.

- OK.

Would you step
over here, please?

Cover your left eye
and read the chart

on the wall, fifth
line from the bottom.

- C, P, V, F, L.

- Other eye, please.

- C P, V, F, L.

- The next line down.

- V, E, C, H, Z, L.

- Can you read the bottom line?

- M, A, D, E, I, N, U, S, A.

- What's that?

- The bottom line.

- "Made in USA"?

I didn't know that was there.

Remarkable.

- Uh, do you want me
to try the other eye?

- No, no, that
won't be necessary.

Just take this and, uh,
answer these questions

and mark them either
true or false.

- OK.

Oh, here you are, Thorny.

- M, A, D, E, I, N--

- No, no, no, no.

The fifth one.

[music playing]

- No, no, that's the
wrong answer for 36.

- You sure?

- Positive.

And watch out for 38.

That's a real fooler.

Well, that does it.

Look them over carefully.

Watch out for trick questions.

- Well, you're in.

You only missed three.

- Good.

- Here's your temporary license.

Your regular one will
come in the mail.

- Thank you.

Come on, Oz.

- Here we are.

- What's this?

- Oh-- [chuckles] I guess I must
have erased a little too hard

there.

- I can't make out the answer.

Is it true or false?

- It's, uh, uh, that's true.

- I'm sorry, that's wrong.

You got four and
five right, though.

People usually miss those.

- Oh, thank you.

- Six is right too.

- I've been driving
for quite a while.

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

You got seven wrong.

- What does that mean?

- It means you flunked.

- I couldn't have flunked.

- I'm sorry.

Why don't you take this home and
study it and come back Monday?

- Well, uh, I can't.

I have to have my license today.

- I'm sorry.

We're closing now.

- Well, now wait a minute.

How could I possibly have
missed seven and my friend

missed three?

He and I had the same ans--

I mean, I mean, we had the
same answers, didn't we?

- Your friend had an
entirely different test.

- What's the matter?

- Well, the man says I missed
seven and flunked the test.

- Missed seven?

- Well, why don't you
take the test again?

- Well, he won't let
me, says they're closed.

Uh, are you sure I missed seven?

- Yeah, seven wrong.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

I'm surprised.

You missed some easy ones, too.

Look at number 10 here.

"True or false; all vehicles
must stop for a red light?"

- True.
- Sure, it's true.

It's probably the
easiest one on the list.

How could you miss that?

- Well, that's just it.

See, it's so easy, I was
looking for a trick question.

- What's tricky about
stopping for a red light?

- Well, suppose you were
driving down the street

and you saw a red lantern there.

Would you stop and wait
for it to turn green?

- Look, mister, I don't
make out the questions.

They just give me a list
here with the answers,

and I mark them right or wrong.

I don't interpret them.

- Oh, uh, can I just
take the test again now?

I know I can pass it.

See, I was just looking
out for trick questions.

I know the answers.
- I'm sorry, mister.

It's 5 o'clock.

The department is
officially closed.

Come back Monday.

- Well, I have to
have my license today.

- Oz, you can't fight city hall.

You're just wasting your time.

- How am I going to drive
in the parade tomorrow?

- Oh, don't tell
me you're closed.

- Well, I was about
to close, yes.

- I thought you stayed
open until 5:30.

- Oh, I'm sorry,
we close at 5:00.

- Can't I please take my
driver's license test?

I promise I'll hurry.

- Well, I guess we
can make an exception.

After all, it was sort
of a misunderstanding.

- Thank you.

You're awfully sweet.

Thanks ever so.

- First, the eye test.

Allow me.

The top line.

- L?

- Very good.

Now the next one.

- How do you like that?

- Well, it's your own
fault. I told you,

you should have worn a sweater.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi.

- How'd you make out
with your driver's test?

- Oh, well, you know
how those tests are.

What are we having for dinner?
- Beef stew.

I think those tests are
a waste of time anyway.

The questions are so easy.

- Uh, yeah.

Didn't we have beef
stew last night?

- No, we had it last Tuesday.

Did you get that
question about the car

having to stop for a red light?

- Oh, yeah, I think
they asked that one.

- Well, that's a
perfect example.

Anybody knows that.

- Well, sure.

The only thing, though, they
make the questions so simple,

an intelligent person has
difficulty because he's

looking for a catch.

- Oh, well, all
they're interested in

is finding out if you know about
the basic rules of driving.

- Well, I think a written
test is silly anyway.

A man is either a good
driver or he isn't.

- Well, sure.

Look at you, for instance.

You've got a safe
driving award, and it

seems kind of silly for
you to have to take a test.

- Well, sure.

- How many questions
did you miss?

- I-- uh, are you
sure it was Tuesday?

- What do you mean?

- Uh, that we had the beef stew?

- Oh, yes, I'm positive.

I only missed two questions.

- Oh, well, good for you.

Thorny missed three.

- But he passed, didn't he?

- Uh, yeah, he
passed with three.

- And the man said if
you missed six questions,

you had to take the
driver's test over again.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

- How many questions
did you say you missed?

- I, uh-- oh, here
come the boys.

Hiya, fellas!

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mom.

- Where you guys been?

- Oh, Ricky was just driving
my car around the block.

- Around the block?

What took you so long?

- It was Ricky.

There was this red lantern
in the middle of the street,

so he stopped and waited
for it to change to green.

- The law says you're supposed
to stop for a red light.

- You know, I think maybe you
got something there, Rick.

- You fellows better get
washed up for dinner.

- Can I see the paper, Pop?

- Oh.

- Oh, how'd you make out
on your driver's test?

- Oh, well, you know how
those tests are, uh, Dave.

Pardon me a second.

Is there anything I can
do for you, Harriet?

- No, thank you.

I'm pretty well set.

And don't worry, dear, you'll
pass the test next time

you take it.

- Wait a minute.

Who told you I flunked the test?

- You did.
- When was that?

- The second time we had
beef stew on Tuesday.

- I would have
passed the darn thing

if Thorny hadn't warned me
about the trick questions.

- I didn't know they
had any trick questions.

- Well, that's just
it, they didn't.

- Oh, now that's pretty tricky.

- I know all the answers.

I bet I had them all right until
I went back and changed them.

- Well, wouldn't they let
you take the test over again?

- Well, no, I was too late.

They were closing the sweater--

closing the office.

See, I can't take the
test again until Monday.

- Well, that's too bad, dear.

- Gee, it's worse than that.

I'm supposed to drive the chief
of police in a parade tomorrow.

How can I do that without
a driver's license?

- Well, I'm sure the Chief
won't ask to see your license.

- Well, it still just
wouldn't seem right.

I think I'd better
call a committee

and disqualify myself.

- Whatever you say.

- Hey, Pop, you're famous!

Your name's in the paper.

- Harriet!

Look, my name is in the paper.

- Well, that's wonderful, dear.

- Well, no, it's terrible.

I'm listed as winning
a safe drivers award

and driving in the
parade tomorrow,

and here, I don't
even have a license.

- Holy smokes, Pop, don't
tell me you flunked the test.

- Well, uh, David, "flunked"
is a pretty harsh word.

- Let's just say he didn't pass.

They had the test loaded
with untricky questions.

Dear, you'd better
phone the committee.

- Well, Harriet, I
can't back out now

with my name plastered
all over the paper.

- Gee, Pop, it's just a
little article way down

in the corner of the page.

Maybe nobody will see it.

- Oh, Dave, this paper has
a tremendous circulation.

This is going to be
very embarrassing

if I cancel out now.

Everybody will know I'm
not driving in the parade

because I flunked
my driver's test.

I'll just have to drive
anyway and take my chances.

- Well, whatever
you think, dear.

- Harriet, that's what you said
when I said I didn't think I

ought to drive in the parade.

- Oh.

Well, I'm sure it'll all
turn out for the best.

- The best what?

- Oh, whatever you think, dear.

[music playing]

- It sure is a nice
day for the parade.

- Oh, it's a beautiful day.

Where are you going to
meet the chief of police?

- Oh, Dave said somebody
phoned a little while ago,

and a man from the committee is
going to drop by and drive me

down there.

Gee, I sure hope they don't
find out about my license.

- Oh, I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

- I hope not.

After all, it's
just a technicality,

and I'll be driving
the car real slowly,

right in the procession itself.

And who knows about it?

Just you and I, and
the boys, and Thorny.

- And the man from
the license bureau.

- Oh, well, I hardly
think we'll run into him.

Something the matter?

- I thought I heard
somebody at the front door.

- Hey, Pop, there's a man here
to take you to the parade!

- How many times have I
asked the boys not to yell?

Tell him I'll be right there!

- Would you like to
sit down a moment?

My father will be right in.
- Fine.

Thank you very much.

- Oh!

[WHISPERING] Harriet, it's the
man from the license bureau!

- [WHISPERING] Oh, my goodness.

- [WHISPERING] What
am I going to do?

- [WHISPERING] Well, I don't
know, but you can't let him

sit there.

- How do you do, sir?

I'll be right with you.

I just want to get my coat.

- I'm Morrison from
the parade committee.

- Well, how did you do?

My name is Nelson.

And this is my
wife, Mrs. Nelson.

- How do you do?

- Oh, Mrs. Nelson.

Weren't you down at the driver's
license bureau about three

months ago to take your exam?

- Well, yes, I was.

How about that, dear, Mr.
Morrison remembers me?

- Oh, well, good for you.

- Say, your face
looks familiar, too.

- Oh, I-- I didn't
think you could see it.

I mean, I--

I just have one of those faces.

- A man who was in yesterday
looked just like you.

- Oh, how about--

- Had the most fantastic
eyesight I've ever seen.

- Oh, oh.

Uh, have you seen my
glasses around here, dear?

- They're in your
pocket, aren't they?

Are you going to
do some reading?

- Uh, no, I just--

I wanted-- oh!

There you are.

How do you do, sir?

- Sure looked a lot like you.

- Oh, even with the glasses?

- No, he wasn't wearing glasses.

- Oh, an entirely
different fellow!

- Fantastic eyesight.

- Oh, uh, well,
shall we get going?

- OK.

It's nice to have seen
you again, Mrs. Nelson.

- Thank you.

- Oh, goodbye, Harriet.

- You know, Mom, Pop's
really gettin' to like me.

[music playing]

[motors running]

- Uh, Chief Larson?

- That's right.

- My name is Nelson.

Mr. Morrison said
I'd find you here.

I'm supposed to drive
you in the parade today.

- How do you do, Mr. Nelson?

And may I congratulate you on
winning one of our safe driving

awards.
- Oh, thank you very much.

- Don't you think you ought
to get into your costume?

We're about ready
to start, you know?

- This is very
embarrassing, Chief,

but I'm afraid I'm not going
to be able to drive you.

- What's the matter?

Don't you think you can handle
one of these old gas-burners?

- Oh, yeah, I can
drive any car at all.

But unfortunately, my
driver's license is expired.

- Why didn't you renew it?

- Well, I tried to,
but I flunked the test.

I knew all the answers,
and my eyesight is perfect.

I can read anything.

"Made in USA."

I don't know, but
I just flunked.

- Well, we can't have
you miss the parade.

I'll tell you what,
you wait right here,

and I'll go see if I
can straighten it out.

- Oh, gee, do you think you can?

- Well, it's a possibility.

After all, I am the
chief of police.

- I was worried about you.

- Oh, you don't have
anything to worry about.

I just met the chief of police,
and he's a wonderful guy.

I told him exactly
what happened,

and he's going to fix me up
with some special something

or other.

Anyway, I'm going to drive
in the parade after all.

- Oh, that's just great.

Is this the car
you're going to drive?

- Well, I don't know.

They haven't assigned
the cars yet.

- Attention, drivers.

Attention, all
drivers, man your cars.

- Oh, uh, I have to
change into a costume.

Don't forget, be on
the lookout for me.

- We'll wave to you.

[music playing]

- And now, our cavalcade of
old-fashioned transportation.

Our city officials being
chauffeured by the winners

of the Safe Drivers Award.

Come on, let's give
them a big hand, folks.

[cheering]

His Honor, the Mayor being
chauffeured by Joseph Burns.

[cheering]

Here comes our city attorney.

- Gee, look at
that old car, Mom.

1904.

- Was it fun to ride in
automobiles in those days, Mom?

- Smile when you
say that, mister.

- Come on now, folks,
let's give them a big hand.

Here they are.

[cheering]

- Here comes Pop!

- Our chief of police being
driven by Ozzie Nelson.

- Is that really your father?

- Yeah, I didn't
recognize him at first.

He doesn't usually wear a hat.

- Hiya, Rick, Harriet, Dave!

- Hiya, Pop!
- Hiya, Pop!

- Hello, dear!

- How about that?

- Leave it to Pop to find
a legal way to be illegal.

[music playing]

- Ozzie, are you almost ready?

- Yeah, I'm just
putting my tie on.

- I still think we ought to
drive to the movies in the car.

- I can't drive the car until
I get my license renewed.

- Well, I could drive.

- Oh, no, Harriet, this
will be a lot of fun.

- Well, sure, if you enjoy
having people stare at you.

- What's there to stare at?

I'm sure they've all seen a
horse and carriage before.

[ending theme]

Well, good night, folks.
We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

- Seven days a week.

- 365 days a year.

- Every day's a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- Jack Wagner was seen as
the license bureau clerk.

The girl was played
by Joi Lansing.

Walter Sande played the
part of the chief of police.

And the small boy
was Ted Campbell.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

- When you hear that
heart disease takes

more lives than all other
causes combined, that's a fact.

But when you hear nothing can
be done about heart disease,

that's fiction.

The truth is medical
science is saving

thousands of hearts and lives.

Help your heart fund,
help your heart.

Mail your dollars to Heart,
care of your post office.

- This has been an
ABC Television Network

presentation.