All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S03E21 Spring Housecleaning 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," presented by--

- [SINGING] Hotpoint, Hotpoint.

Hotpoint changes your
viewpoint, automatically.

Because Hotpoint makes the
finest things electrically.

New push-button
ranges that you adore.

Refrigerator superstore.

So keep the food
that suits your mood.

Get your wishes and
wash those dishes.

Everyone knows Hotpoint
is best for clothes.

Washes 'em clean and
dries 'em smooth.

Your disposition, it
will surely soothe.

Hotpoint brings all this to you,
with the Nelson family, too.

Ozzie, Harriet, David, Ricky.

"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson
family, Ozzie, Harriet, David,

and Ricky, with Don
DeFore as Thorny.

- Oh, here you are.

I've been looking for you.

- Oh.

[chuckles] Well, the boys
wanted me to play a little catch

with them.

- Yeah, well, you
volunteered to help me

with the spring cleaning.
Remember?

- Oh, I know.

I'm just getting my
muscles warmed up.

Uh, we'll be in to help
you in just a few minutes.

Won't we, boys?

- Well, I have to go down to the
library to work on that report.

Remember, Mom?

- I have to do something, too.

I don't exactly remember what it
is, but I know it's important.

- Well, don't worry
about it, boys.

Your father and I can handle it.

Now, don't you be too long.

We've got lots to do.

- Oh, no, I'll be right in, uh,
just as soon as I drive Dave

down to the library.

- Oh, I'm going to
take my own car, Pop.

- Oh.

- Don't look at me.

I can't even think up
an excuse for myself.

- What do you mean an excuse?

Who's making up excuses?

- You are.

I'll give you just five minutes.

No ducking out now.

- Well, fine thing.

- I'd better get
out of here fast.

Mom sounds like
she means business.

- Yeah.

Well, I'd better get
in the house, I guess.

- Well, just let me throw you
a couple of high flies, Pop.

- Oh, no, I'd better go
and help your mother.

- If you're going
to be a catcher,

you got to learn to
catch those foul balls.

- Well, just a couple.

- OK, here we go.

- Not too close
to the garage now.

- You've got 4 minutes
and 30 seconds.

- OK.

Just a couple, Ricky.

You mother's getting worried.

Oh, come on.

You can throw harder than that.

I'll tell you what you do.

I'll stand down here, and you
throw a real high one over

toward the Thornberrys,
and I'll make

a sensational one-hand
running catch.

- Well, watch out
for the fence, Pop.

- You kidding?

I may jump right over it.

Go ahead.

- OK, here we go.

[spring sound effect]

[rustling]

[mischievous music]

- Well.

- Well, gee, did you
hurt yourself, Pop?

- Not sure yet, son.

Hey, I caught the ball!

- Should I get the wheelbarrow?

- I think I can make it if
you give me a hand here.

Oh, my ankle, and my wrist
and my shoulder here.

- Gee, you really crashed, Pop.

- Boy, what tough luck.

Just when I was figuring
on helping your mother

with that heavy cleaning, too.

Oh.

I think I can make it from here.

Thanks a lot, son.
- It's OK, Pop.

Take it easy now.

- Oh, don't sit down.

I want you to turn the
rug in the den out.

Bring furniture out
here first though.

- [groans]

- Oh, come on, you can do it.

- Oh, no, Harriet, I--

I just took a terrible fall
out there playing baseball

with the boys.

[groans]

- Well, you certainly
picked a convenient time

to do it when I've got all
this heavy cleaning to do.

- Oh, Harriet.

Why don't you have one
of these concerns come in

and do the cleaning, anyway?

They have professionals do
that sort of work nowadays.

- I want to do it myself, and
then I'll know it's done right.

- Oh, my back and my--

oh.

- You sure you're
not goldbricking?

- Oh, how could you
say a thing like that?

You should have seen
the fall I took.

- Well, I've got to
run down to the store

and get some more
cleaning stuff.

- [groans] I'll stretch out
on this couch for a while.

I might feel better later.

[groans]

- Well, just in case you
have a miraculous recovery,

will you please
turn the rug for me?

- [GROANING] Yeah, OK.

Oh.

- [WHISPERING] Oz.

Oz.

[imitating horn]

- OK!

- [WHISPERING] Is
Harriet around here?

- No, she went downtown.

- Good, good, then I'm safe.

Catherine is right in the middle
of her spring cleaning, too.

- Now, wait a minute.

You mean to say you sneaked out
and left your poor wife to do

all that heavy work by herself?

- I didn't sneak out.

I walked right down the stairs
and out the front door...

While she was in the kitchen.

- You might as well have
stayed in and helped her.

You're not going to get
away with it anyway.

- I wouldn't be too
sure about that.

As you can see,
I'm all dressed up.

- Yeah.

Where are you going, anyhow?

- Nowhere.

Just an added precaution
in case Catherine finds me.

She certainly couldn't
expect me to do any spring

cleaning with my good suit on.

- [GROANING] Ooh, oh.

- What's the matter?

- Oh, I--

I was running after a
baseball out back there,

and I really wrecked myself.

- [laughs] Oz, I really
got to hand it to you.

Boy, you could really
think up the good ones.

[laughs]

- Thorny, laugh if
you want over it,

but if I hadn't hurt myself,
I'd be doing all this cleaning

all by myself.

As a matter of fact, I was
just talking to Harriet

about moving that big
rug there in the den.

She wants me to turn it for her.

- Well, go ahead and do it.

- Yeah, I think I will.

[groans] Oh.

Come on, this is a
two-man job, Thorny.

I'd like to have you help me.
- Are you kidding?

If I wanted to
turn rugs, I'd have

stayed home and been a hero.

- Come on, give me
a hand, will you?

- OK, Oz, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll sit right here on the couch
and give you moral support.

- Come on, Thorny.

I'll help you next time.

- Nope.
I'm sorry.

- I'll treat you
to a malted milk

the next time we're
at the drugstore.

- Nope.

- I'll phone Catherine and
tell her you're over here.

- No, no, wait!

Uh, which way do you turn it?

- Well, see, Harriet wants it
to wear a little more evenly.

So she wants this end turned
right around to this end.

- OK.

- See, the only
thing though, we have

to move all this heavy
furniture out of here.

That's the laborious part of it.

Well, let's see.

Why don't you take the
big, leather chair?

And I'll, uh--

I'll, uh--

- I'll take this.

- And all the
magazines have to go.

Might as well take
two things at once.

Uh, look, Thorny, let's
stop stalling around.

We've got to get to this
big stuff sooner or later.

You take that end, and
I'll take this end.

[music playing]

Well, I guess that's it.

Thanks for the help, not that
you did any more than you

had to.

- That's a fine attitude.

If I hadn't come over, you'd
still be out there lying

on the couch.

What a loafer.

Well, I'm not going
to hang around

here and listen to insults.

- I didn't say a thing.

- Well, I got to be
running along anyway.

Catherine will be looking
for me here sooner or later.

I'll see you, Oz.

- OK.

Hey, Thorny, wait a minute!

Come back here!

We forgot to move this
sofa back in the den!

Thorny!

- I wonder if Mom's home yet.

- I didn't see the
car when I came in.

Hey, Pop's asleep.

- Yeah.

- You say he took a
pretty nasty fall, huh?

- You'd have to see
it to believe it.

Boy, Pop sure does have a lot
of spring in his legs for a man

his age.

Come on in the den.

- What for?

- I heard Mom say she
wanted Pop to turn the rug.

We can do it for him.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- What are you doing?

- Well, I'm painting
these screens,

trying to square
myself with Harriet.

- Well, we turned the
rug for her, didn't we?

- Well, that's just it.

She claims we didn't turn
it at all, says I dreamed

the whole thing.

- Well, how could she say that?

- Well, unfortunately,
I was asleep

on the couch when she came home.

But she couldn't possibly have
turned that big, heavy rug

all by herself.

- Well, now wait a minute, Oz.

I don't think she did.

I heard Catherine complaining
about the calluses on her hands

from helping Harriet.

- I don't know.

I just can't figure
it out at all.

- Hmm.

Oh, incidentally, Catherine
had a few unkind things

to say about us, too.

- Well, I hope you said
something in our defense.

- Well, how could I?

I was hiding in the
hall closet at the time.

- Well, I hope Harriet likes
the job I did on these screens.

- What about this edge?

- Oh, well, I need one of
those small brushes for that.

I got one in the garage.

- Careful.

That's wet paint, you know.

[music playing]

- Well, I'm glad
to see somebody's

ambitious around here.

- Hi, Harriet.

- Oh, they look wonderful.

Does Catherine know you're
painting your screens?

- You mean to tell me
these are my screens?

- Well, sure.

They've been in our
garage since last fall.

- Holy smokes, they
are my screens!

Say, you know, this
isn't a bad job at all.

- Hi, dear.

- Oh, hi.

I thought you were still
asleep on the couch.

[laughter]

- Uh, how do you like
the job on the screens?

- Oh, they look fine.

- Oh.

- Well I've got to
get off to the market.

I'll see you fellas later.

- So long, Harriet.

- Well, uh-- didn't that
seem like kind of a strange

attitude?

- Well, somehow,
I got the feeling

she didn't think
you painted them.

- Now, wait a minute, Thorny!

Did you let Harriet you think
you painted these screens?

- What could I say, especially
since they're my screens?

- Your screens?

- Of course!

And, Oz, you did a great job.

- Wait a minute.

- Ah!

Careful.

These screens have
just been painted.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, Pop.

- Hi, boys.

What are you doing here?

- We just thought
we'd give you a hand.

- Oh, gee, thanks a lot.

- We kind of figured it was
our fault that you got hurt

and you couldn't help Mom.

- Yeah, how are you
feeling anyway, Pop?

- Oh, well, I'm
feeling much better.

Thanks, Dave.

Only thing, though, I can't
seem to convince your mother

that I'm willing to help her
with this heavy housework.

- Why not?

- Well, I don't know.

Frankly, I think your
mother underestimates

the extent of my injuries.

- I don't see why.

You look pretty
convincing to me.

- Well, see, I'm not trying
to fool anybody, son.

But all of a sudden,
it sort of got

noised around the
neighborhood that I'm

a loafer, that I don't want to
help with this house cleaning.

Look, boys, I appreciate your
attitude and your cooperation,

but frankly, I'd rather
do this all by myself

and convince your
mother once and for all

that I'm not a goldbricker.

- OK, Pop.

- Thanks.

- Pop, what's a goldbricker?

- Well--

- Let's not ask questions, huh?

[doorbell rings]

- Hi, Oz.
- Well, hello, Doc.

Come on in.

- I heard there was a
goldbrick in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd join you.

- Oh.

- Get your clubs.

We need one more for a foursome.

- Oh, well, it's very nice
of you to think of me,

but I promised Harriet I'd help
her with the spring cleaning.

I'm going to do the heavy
work around the house here.

- Oh, well, as your physician,
Oz, I must warn you,

this may be very
injurious to your health

lifting those heavy
waste baskets,

pushing and pulling,
emptying those dust pans.

- Oh, well, thanks.

I guess I'll just
have to take a chance.

- Well, OK, but it
seems pretty silly

doing all that
work when you could

be out chasing that lovely
little white ball over five

or six miles of
rolling golf course.

- Well, I'll tell you
what, Doc, why don't you

put your clubs down
here for a while

and pitch in and give me a hand?

Together, we'd get
it done in no time,

and then I could go
out and play with you.

- Well, I'm sorry, Oz.

- I thought you were
interested in my health.

- Well, you'd better
forget about my advice, Oz.

I wouldn't want to be compelled
to charge you for a house call.

Maybe we can make it sometime.

- Uh, Doc?

- Hi, Oz, old pal.

- Oh!

I'm glad you stopped back.

After thinking it
over, Doc, I've

decided I could be tempted to
play a little golf with you.

- Oh, gee, that's too bad.

We've already got our foursome.

- Yeah, we have, Oz.

- Well, now wait a minute!

It was just a minute ago you
invited me to play with you.

- Well, you said
no, so I got Thorny.

- Boy, you didn't
waste any time.

Then how come you
came over here?

- Well, I wondered if I
could borrow your golf clubs.

Mine are in the back of the car,
and Catherine drove downtown

with them.

- Let me get this straight.

You mean you actually want
to borrow my golf clubs

and go out and play while
I'm slaving and working here?

- Well, as long as you're
not going to be using them.

- Boy, I never heard
of such a thing.

I've got a good mind to
tell Catherine about this.

- Oh, Oz, she's delighted
to have me play.

The house is going to be cleaned
by professionals-- the Uncle

John House Cleaning Service.

- You mean to say you're
going to have men come in

and clean your house?

- Why, sure!

They're very reasonable.

And Catherine got 10% off
for paying them in advance.

And if you weren't so
cheap, you'd hire 'em, too.

- Hire people to come
in and clean my house?

Boy, what a lazy bum
you've turned out to be.

- Now, wait a minute.

I don't have to stand
here and take that.

- You do if you want to
borrow his golf clubs.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

OK, so I'm a lazy bum.

Now, how about the clubs?

- And the shoes.

- Shoes?

What's this about shoes?

- Well, Oz, I figured
as long as you weren't

going to be using
them, I'd do you

the favor of breaking
the new golf shoes in.

- I've never heard of anybody
with such colossal nerve!

- But I'm pretty desperate, Oz.

Come on, for old time's sake.

As an ex-goldbricker.

- OK, the clubs are in
the hall closet there.

- Ah, gee, you're swell, Oz.

- Yup, I knew he'd come through.

- He's a great
pal, isn't he, Doc?

- Now, look, fellas,
you've got the clubs

and you've got the shoes.

Don't overplay it.

- The clubs are real heavy.

- Come on, we'll be late.

Oz, that was a fine
display of sportsmanship.

- Oh, well, actually, I was just
dreaming there for a minute.

I should stay and
do the housework.

- Oh, no, Oz, you
can still join us.

It's not too late.

Why don't you forget
the housework?

- Well, thanks, Thorny, but I--
- Well, anyway, how can he play?

We've got our foursome,
and you've got his clubs.

- Well, I thought he
could be my caddie.

These clubs weigh a ton!

- So long, Oz.

- So long.

[phone ringing]

Come in!

Yes?

- How do you do, sir?

We're from Uncle John's
House Cleaning Service.

- Oh, well, you're looking
for the place next door.

- Are you sure?

The lady that hired us
said it was the white house

with the green blinds.

- Well, uh, yes.

See, both houses
are painted alike.

Oh, uh, on second thought,
this is the right place.

Mr. Thornberry just
stepped out for a moment.

My name is Nelson.

I'm Mr. Thornberry's
best friend.

- How nice.

This is it, Uncle John.

- Oh, uh, how do you do, sir?

- How do you do?

- Now, let me verify this.

This job has been
paid for in advance.

Is that right?

- Yes, that's right.

We gave a discount of 10%.

- Oh, fine.

Right this way, gentlemen.

[music playing]

- I beg your pardon, sir.

We're all finished.

- Oh, so soon?

- Yes, and I hope
everything is satisfactory.

- Oh, well, this is amazing.

This is a beautiful job.

- Thank you very much.

And I'm proud of you boys.
- Thank you, Uncle John.

- Thank you, Uncle John.
- Thank you, Uncle John.

- Thank you, Uncle John.
- How about it, boys?

Hip hip!
- Hooray!

- Hip hip--
- Hooray!

- Hip hip!

- Hooray!

- That's one of
the nicest things

that's ever happened to me.

Thank you one and
all for a fine job.

- Thank you, sir.

And may I say, I
have never seen a man

asleep with such a
lovely smile on his face.

- Oh.
[chuckles]

- Bye now.
- Bye bye.

- Bye bye, fellas.
- Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.

- Bye, sir.

- Oh, Harriet!

You're just in time, dear.

- Oh, it looks wonderful.

- Oh, well, thank you very much.

I'm glad you like it.

- Oh, yes, it's just beautiful.

- You probably wonder
why I'm laughing.

Uh, sit down, dear, and prepare
yourself for a bit of a shock.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Nothing at all,
except that, well, I'd

like to take credit for it,
but actually, the whole thing

was done by a professional
cleaning service.

And here's the kicker, it's
all through the courtesy

of our friend and
neighbor, Mr. Thornberry.

- What's Thorny
got to do with it?

- He paid for the whole thing.

[chuckles] I knew
you'd be surprised.

See, Catherine hired
this cleaning service

to come and clean their house.

- Yes, I know.

- Oh, you knew about that?

- Yes, I saw them going
into the Thornberry's, and I

asked them to come here
when they finished.

- Well-- well, wait a minute.

Well, then, how come
Thorny paid them?

- I don't know.

You said that.

- Now, wait a minute.

You mean you engaged the men
to come and clean our house?

- Of course.

I paid them in advance.

What did you think?

- Oh, well, I--

well, gee, I, uh--

[clears throat] wasn't
that awfully expensive?

- Oh, I figured that out, too.

You know how we like to give
each other practical birthday

presents?
- Well, yeah.

- Well, why don't we just
consider this my birthday

present?

- Oh, well, that's very
thoughtful of you, dear,

but, well--

OK, but I insist on giving
you some other little thing

besides.

- Oh, no, dear, I mean my
birthday present to you.

- Somehow, I'm beginning to
get the feeling this just

isn't my day.

[music playing]

Well, yeah.

Yeah, sure, the cleaning
service did a wonderful job,

but anybody's liable to
make one little mistake.

But I need you to
help me, Thorny.

Oh, swell.

Then you'll be right over?

OK, thanks.

I'll be waiting for you.

[ending theme]

- You can find where to
buy your new Hotpoint

by checking your local
classified telephone directory.

Look for Hotpoint under
the appliance you want.

Ask your local Hotpoint dealer
to show you the new Hotpoint

ranges, the new Hotpoint
refrigerators, the new Hotpoint

automatic washers and dryers,
and the new Hotpoint automatic

dishwashers.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to
you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme Tooth
Paste stops the major cause

of tooth decay every
minute of every day.

- Well, good night, folks.
We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint, automatically.

- Yes, sir, that's
what I always say, boy.

- What do you always
say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your
viewpoint, automatically.

- The part of Doctor Williams
was played by Frank Cady.

Uncle John was Frank Orth.

The part of Herman was
played by Bill Hade.

Rudolph was Phil
Arnold, and Jim Waters

played the part of Walter.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

[theme music]