All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S03E09 A Matter of Inches 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," presented by--

- [SINGING] Hotpoint, Hotpoint!

Hotpoint changes your
view point automatically,

because Hotpoint makes the
finest things electrically.

New push button ranges that you
adore, refrigerator superstore.

So keep the food
that suits your mood.

Get your wishes and
wash those dishes.

Everyone knows Hotpoint is best
for clothes-- washes 'em clean,

and dries 'em smooth.

Your disposition it
will surely soothe.

Hotpoint brings all this to you
with the Nelson family, too!

Ozzie, Harriet, David, Ricky,
"The Ozzie and Harriet Show!"

[upbeat music]

NARRATOR: And now,
Hotpoint presents

America's favorite family
comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring
the entire Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife
Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Well, hello there, little man.
- Oh, hi.

I thought you were
down at the Y.

- I was, but just for
a couple of minutes.

I had my official height
and weight recorded.

Bet you can't guess
how much I weigh.

- I bet you I don't care either.
- No, no, go ahead.

Take a guess.

How much do you think I weigh?

- Oh, about 10 pounds
less than you claim.

- I weigh 167 pounds
of solid muscle.

- A little flabby to me.

- What do you mean, flabby?

You're just jealous
because you're so skinny.

- We just happen to be
different types, that's all.

I'm the tall, slim type.

You're the short, fat type.

- What do you mean,
short, fat type?

I bet I'll be 6 feet
before the year's out.

I'm 5' 10" now.

- You are not.

- I just got through
measuring, dopey.

It's my official height.

You can go down to the Y
and ask them if you want.

- I'll bet you I'm
about 5' 7" or 8".

- You look about 5' 2" to me.

- Oh, yeah?

What do you want?

I'm almost four years
younger than you.

- Excuses, always excuses.

- Oh, yeah?

Have you seen that mark
on the wall upstairs?

I've grown almost four
inches in the past year.

Let's see, four years to
go, it's four times four.

I think I'll have a talk
with the basketball coach.

- Come on over here and
help me mark this, will you?

Big deal.

Boy, you sure got a flat head.

- Never mind the
comments, just mark it.

See, what did I tell you?

5' 10".

- I still say you
got a flat head.

- You should talk with that
watermelon head you got.

- I can't help that.

I inherited it from Pop.

- What's this about Pop?

- Ricky says you got a head
like a watermelon, Pop.

- I did not!

Don't you believe that.

- Well, it's not true, anyway.

A casaba melon, maybe,
but not a watermelon.

- Hey, Pop, take a look at this.

I'm 5 feet 10 now.

- Hey, how about that?

"YMCA, David Nelson, height,
5 feet 10, weight 167,"

and your father needs glasses.

Good for you.

That's fine, Dave.

- Come here, David,
you mark me now.

- Now, wait a minute.

Don't mess up your
mother's kitchen, huh?

If you want to mark up the
walls, go up to your bedroom.

- OK, come on.

And don't mark on the wallpaper!

- Hi, Oz!

Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hey, what's the matter?

Harriet catch you
stealing cookies?

- No, no.

David marked height
on the wall there

and I was just
comparing myself to it.

- Afraid he's outgrown
the old man, huh?

- Well, it's possible.

He really has been shooting
up the last month or so.

See how my height
compares to his, will you?

- Just about even.

- No kidding.

Try it again.

- Well, now that's different.

- Well, that's--

- David's just a
little bit taller.

- How about that.

Kind of a rude
awakening, isn't it?

- Well, no, I wouldn't say that.

As a matter of fact, it's
a pretty proud moment.

After all, he is my
own son, you know?

- Well, what do you say
we celebrate the occasion?

Cookie for you.

- Oh!
- Cookie for me.

- Well, thank you.

- And here, old pal,
is one to grow on.

Yeah, the kids sure are grown.

You know, it won't be too long
before my boy Will catches up

with me.

Then I'm out an
expensive dinner.

- Well, how come?

- Well, you remember the
talk we had with the boys

when they were little kids?

- What talk was that?

- Oh, Oz, you remember.

About nine or 10 years ago,
we were out in the lawn

talking to the boys
about growing up.

I promised Will I'd
take him to the finest

restaurant in town the day
he became taller than I am.

- Oh, yes, it seems to me I do
remember something like that.

Well, you always were one
for making rash promises.

[laughing]

- Yeah.

- Say, I didn't promise
David anything, did I?

- Sure, $50.

- That's ridiculous!

I vaguely remember
the conversation.

It was probably $0.50.

- $50, Oz, I
distinctly remember it!

- Thorny, nobody can
remember that far back,

especially David!

I mean, even if I did say
such a thing jokingly--

which I'm not admitting--
a promise like that

is made without consideration.

It's what you might call
a "loose statement."

- Oh, come on, now,
Oz, any time you

talk about giving away
50 bucks, it is a loose.

- Thorny, be
reasonable, will you?

David was about eight
years old at the time.

What would an eight-year-old
boy do with $50?

- Oz, let me remind
you that David

is no longer eight years old!

- I didn't say he was.

I said he was 50.

Look, what's the
sense of digging up

a long, forgotten conversation?

Not even a conversation-- a
man says something jokingly.

You don't hold people
to things like that.

How often have you
heard somebody say,

I'll bet you a million dollars?

Or I could throw
that ball a mile?

- Go on, Oz.

- Well, besides, David probably
doesn't remember anything

about it.

In fact, you're the only
one who seems to remember.

Here, have another cookie.

- Do you want me to
remind David about it?

- Thorny, I don't
mean to sound rude,

but frankly, I don't see where
this whole thing interests you

in the first place.

- You're going to
remind David about it?

- I'll pay David any
money that's due him, yes.

- Oz, now, I hate to be
persistent about this,

but I happen to be a
very honest person.

Now maybe that's
what's wrong with me.

I'm too honest.
But that's the way I am.

Now, I'd like a direct
answer, yes or no.

Are you going to
pay David the $50?

- Yes, I'm going
to pay him the $50.

And stop stealing
those cookies, Thorny.

Those are our cookies.

They're not yours.

- Hey, that looks nice, Dave.

- Oh, thanks, Mom.

I'm afraid it needs a
new paint job, though.

- Oh, really?

Doesn't look to me like
it needs a new paint job.

- Yeah, well, Susan
and I were talking

about it the other night and--

You know Susan, don't you?

She's that girl I took
to the house party.

- Oh, yes.

- You know, we decided
it's kind of dull,

sort of drab and uninteresting.

- Oh, what color
did she suggest,

a baby blue or a
mysterious Vampira black?

- No, she thinks dark
colors are impractical.

They fade and show the dirt.

- Oh, well, she sounds
like a very sensible girl.

What color did she suggest?

- Heliotrope.

- Heliotrope?

- Well, just plain heliotrope.

- That's sort of a lavender.

- Oh, no, Mom, it's kind of a--

a pinkish purple.

It's the latest thing.

I've heard about a lot of
new Cadillacs that have it.

- Well, I guess the
subject is purely academic.

You don't have the money
for a new paint job, do you?

- Well, I don't right now, mom.

But I'm expecting to come
into some money any day now.

- Oh, how come?

- Well, you see,
a long time ago,

Pop promised me $50
the day I outgrew him.

And I think that
day has arrived.

$50?
Wow!

- Yup.

I think I'm about a 1/4 inch
taller than he is right now.

- Well, that will
be quite a windfall

if your father comes through.

- Oh, don't worry about
Pop coming through.

He always keeps his promises.

- You don't think he might
have forgotten about it?

- Oh, not Pop, Mom.

He's got a terrific memory.

- Well, yeah.

Oh, sure, Mom.

Pop never forgets anything.

Uh, Mom?

Yes, dear?

- Just to make sure, you
want to remind him about it?

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, yes, Thorny I'm
writing it right now.

- Hi, Pop!

- Oh, hi, son.

You're just the one
I'm looking for.

Sit down for a second.

No, stand up over here.

Turn around face
the wall, would you?

- Did I do something wrong?

- No, no, no, I just
want to see something.

Oh, thanks a lot.

- Would I be out of order if
I ask what's going on, sir?

- Oh, nothing, I just want
to see how tall you are.

- Heck, I'm pretty tall,
almost as tall as you are.

And you're pretty darn tall.

- Oh, well, yeah--

- I think you're almost
as tall as David.

- That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

Sit down for a moment,
would you, son?

- Yes, sir?

Tell me this.

Do you think you could remember
something that happened,

say, eight or 10 years ago?

- Gee, I don't think so, Pop.

I was pretty young then.

- Oh, that's what I figured.

And David probably couldn't
remember either, huh?

You mean my brother David?

Oh, he's got a terrible memory.

He can't remember anything,
especially lately.

- Oh, really?

- The only thing he can
remember is the $50 you owe him.

Say, that reminds me, could
I have my allowance, Pop?

- Rick, there are other
things in life besides money,

you know.

- But isn't this the
day for my allowance?

- Well, yes, it is.

But I mean, just
because a person

happens to owe you
a couple of dollars,

you don't keep dunning
them for it all the time.

- What's this about
a couple of dollars?

- Oh, the line forms on
the left here, Harriet.

- Don't ask any questions, Mom.
Just take it and run.

Thanks, Pop.

- What have you got
your checkbook out for?

- Oh, just about some
silly little promise

I made David years ago.

Not one person in a million
would have remembered it.

- You mean about the $50
for growing taller than you?

- You'd think somebody
would have forgotten it.

- David told me
about it just now.

He's planning on using the money
to paint his car heliotrope.

- Heliotrope?

Well, that's a terrible
color, isn't it, Harriet?

I mean, I think maybe
it's my duty as a parent

not to give him the $50.

Well, no, don't
misunderstand me, Harriet.

But in the first place, how do
I know David's taller than I am?

- You could measure.

- We did-- how accurate is
a chalk mark on the wall?

No, I think in fairness
to all concerned,

especially since
his car is involved,

we should leave the
whole thing in abeyance,

at least until we get a
chance to measure individually

and accurately.

- Where are you going?

- Just out of the kitchen.

I want to welsh--

I want to wipe the mark
off the kitchen wall.

- Hi, Shorty!

- Hi, Thorny.

You pay David the 50 bucks yet?

- No, I didn't.

See, it hasn't actually been
established that David's taller

than I am yet.

I mean, we haven't had any
official measurements together.

- Oh?

- Besides, I don't understand
your big interest in this case,

anyway.

- Well, I just want to
make sure the kid gets

a square deal, that's all.

And I think you ought
to know that I'm

volunteering my
services to Ricky too

when the time comes around.

- Maybe you'd be interested
to know what David

intends to do with the money.

- Hold on, Oz, I
want you to tell

the boy I couldn't
accept one penny of it.

How much is he offering me?

- Nothing, as far as I've heard.

He's going to blow the whole
thing in on a new paint

job for his car.

- Well, that sounds like
a sensible idea to me.

- Not when you hear
about the color.

- Oh?

What color is he
going to paint it?

- Heliotrope.

- I just asked a question, Oz.

You don't have to
get nasty about it.

- Heliotrope is a color,
sort of a pinkish lavender.

Evidently this is the latest
fad according to the "Hot Rod"

fashion editors.

Well, I'll talk about
it later, Thorny.

- Now, wait a minute, Oz.

What's your hurry?

Oh, I've got to go downtown.

- After all, it is
David's car and his money.

- Well, it may be his car,
but it's still my money.

And look, Thorny,
there's something else

you don't seem to realize.

It won't be long before your
boy Will is as tall as you are.

- Yeah, I know.

He's almost there now.

Sure.

He'll expect you to pay him $50.

- Why should I give him $50?

- You mean you're going
to weasel out of it?

- Weasel out of it?

I only promised Will a dinner!

- Do you think he's
going to be satisfied

with a measly dinner when
he finds out David got $50?

He's going to figure you
for just what you are,

a big tightwad.

- Now, wait a minute, Oz.

We got to do
something about this!

- Well, I'm on my way down to
Doc Williams' office right now.

- Yeah, it's not a bad idea.
I think I'll go with you.

I don't feel so good myself.

- Well, no, you
see, Dave came home

from the YMCA with one of
those official cards giving

his height as 5 feet 10.

I want Doc to measure me
and make my height official.

- Yeah, maybe you'll throw
a couple inches your way.

Don't forget, he's
got a 12-year-old son.

- Well, yeah, but he's
taller than Doc already.

- Say, why don't you
stop by the Emporium

and get yourself a
pair of elevator shoes?

No, no, no, no.

Besides, Doc always measures
people with their shoes off.

- Well then, get a
pair of elevator socks.

Look, Oz, you've got
to stall this thing off

for the good of the
entire neighborhood.

- Don't get so worried
about it, Thorny.

In the first place,
I think I still have

about a half inch on David.

You don't suppose
Doc's going to want

me to go through a
complete physical checkup

when I get down there, do you?

Well, tell him you just
want to use his scales.

Walk in and step up on him, see
how tall you are, and leave.

- Yeah, I think
that's what I'll do.

Gee, I wonder how much
this is going to cost me.

- That all depends
on how tall you are.

Good luck.

- Doctor Williams will
see you now, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, thank you very much.

Hiya, Doc!

- Hi, Oz, nice to see you.

I was wondering when
you were going to drop

by for your yearly checkup.

- Oh, no, you looked
me over last summer,

don't you remember?

- Oh, was it as
recently as that?

- Yeah, yeah,
don't you remember?

I was going to go
to the jewelry shop,

and I got off at the
wrong floor by mistake,

and you grabbed me
before I could get away.

[laughing]

- Well, what's on your mind, Oz?

- Oh, well, I came in to
see you about my height.

- Your height?

What seems to be
the trouble with it?

- No, you see, it's
kind of a long story.

But quite a few years ago--

- Would you like to
lie down on the couch

while you tell me about it?

- Oh, no, no, that
won't be necessary.

- Well then, do you
mind if I lie down?

I had kind of a bad
night last night.

- Oh, no, go right ahead.

As I was saying, quite a few
years ago when David was just

a small boy, I made an agreement
that I'd pay him $50 as soon

as he became as tall as I am.

And today he came
home from the YMCA

with one of these little cards
that gave his official height

as 5 feet 10 inches.

And I thought I'd
come in here and have

you measure me to see what
my height is compared to his.

- I see.

How tall are you supposed to be?

- Oh, about 5' 10" and
1/2, 5' 10" and 1/4,

somewhere right in there.

- That sounds bad.

- Well, no, that still
makes me taller than he.

- Well, it's a
strange thing, Oz.

You take just about
any guy you know

and ask him to tell you how tall
he is, and then measure him,

and you'll find he's
about a half an inch

shorter than he thinks he is.

- Oh, that's your
experience, huh?

That's right, and about
five pounds fatter.

- Well, see, I wasn't
interested in the fat part.

I just wanted to find
out about my height

and have you make it
official and medical.

- Well, OK, Oz.

Just stand over there
against the wall.

I think I got a piece
of chalk here somewhere.

- No, Doc, I can do
that at home myself.

Don't you have one of those--

where we can make this official?

- Well, OK, Oz.

Let's go on to the other office.

Oh, boy, makes it a tough day
when you've been up all night.

- Well, I know how
hard you doctors work.

- Take off your shoes, Oz.

You know, there's
another thing, people

have a tendency to get a little
shorter as they grow older.

Sometimes they'll lose
as much as an inch

in, say, 20 or 25 years.

- Oh, really?

Well, I know I was 5' 10" and
1/2 when I was in college,

or 5' 10" and 1/4
at the very least.

- Well, now, you
take me for instance.

I measured myself the
other day and I was 5' 9".

I was a little taller than that
when I was in medical school.

- How tall were you then?

- 6 feet 1.

- 6 feet 1?

- I had very bushy
hair in those days.

- Well, let's make
this official.

- There we are.

Well, that's exactly
5 feet 9 and 3/4.

- 5' 9", are you sure?

- You want me to call in a
specialist for consultation?

- Well-- no--

well-- how could--

I was sure-- well,
gee, Dave is 5' 10".

That means he's got me
by a quarter of an inch.

- Well, that's the
way it goes, Oz.

I wouldn't worry about it.

[yawns]

Oh, boy, I'm going
to get a little nap

before the next
patient comes in.

I had a miserable
night last night.

- Oh, well, that's--

Well, I don't know
how you doctors

do it anyway, up all
night and up the next day.

- Well, I left the
Dipple's house at 5

o'clock this morning, and I was
in here at the office at 9:00.

- Oh, who's sick
at the Dipple's?

- Oh, nobody's sick.

Wally Dipple had a
little poker party going.

- I thought maybe you
were making a house call.

[laughs]

You say you had
some bad luck, huh?

- Yeah, I lost $6.00.

- Oh, well, that's
the way it goes.

Well, thanks a lot, Doc.

And-- oh, how much do I owe you?

- Oh, make it $6.00.

- Hi, what are you looking for?

- Oh, I was looking
for the chafing dish.

I thought we'd have some
creamed chicken tonight.

- Creamed chicken?

Harriet, I don't
need to get fatter.

I need to get taller.

- Here, hold the tea pot for me.

- You didn't listen to me.

I was down at Doc Williams'
office and he measured me.

- Oh, how tall are you?

- 5' 9" and 3/4 inches and $50--

make that $56.

- Well, it looks like we're
the proud parents of a boy

with a heliotrope automobile.

Oh, will you get me the
burner for the chafing dish?

It's down there on
the bottom shelf.

[crashing]

- What was that,
a flying saucer?

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry!

I accidentally dropped
the chafing dish.

Are you hurt?

- I can't tell until I get
my head straightened out.

- Oh, that's a shame.

I'm so sorry.

Here, I'll get a cold rag.

That'll take the swelling down.

- No, no, wait a
minute, Harriet.

This is just what I need!

- What's just what you need?

- This lump on my head.

This is wonderful!

- Oh, you better lie down, dear.

You sound a little punchy.

- No, no, no, listen.

This has added about a
half inch to my height,

and it's still swelling!

This is a real stroke of luck!

- What's all the
noise about, Pop?

Oh, Dave, you're just
the one I'm looking for!

I understand you'd
like to measure and see

whether you've won the $50 yet.

- Yeah, sure, Pop!

- OK, take off your shoes.

- I don't know.

This doesn't seem
quite fair to me.

- Sure it is, Mom.

If Dave is taller than
Pop, he wins the $50.

- Well, that isn't
quite what I mean.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dave.

I'm afraid your father is just
a little taller than you are.

- Gee, and I was sure I had him.

- Well, that's too bad, son.

My height fools a lot of people.

See, I have a rather
odd-shaped head.

It's an old Nelson
characteristic.

- Well, I'm a Nelson.

How come I haven't got it?

- I think you got
an odd-shaped head.

- Nobody asked you.

- Well, better luck
next time, Dave.

- Gee, and I practically
had the $50 spent, too.

- Well, at the rate
you're growing,

I think you'll have it
won in a couple of months.

- In a couple of
days if your father

will stay out of the kitchen.

- Come on, Ricky,
let's go outside.

- I don't know whether
I want to associate

with a little runt like you.

- This was kind of a painful
way to win, wasn't it?

- How's your head feel?

- Oh, not too bad.

Sort of a dirty trick
to play on Dave.

But I think it's
for his own good.

- I hope he isn't too
disappointed, though.

- Oh, I don't think so.

After all, he is going to
win the money eventually.

In fact, as soon as the
lump on my head goes down.

I just hope heliotrope hot
rods are out of style by then.

- I thought baseball
didn't start till spring?

- Well, that's right.

- What do you suppose the
boys are doing out there

in the yard?

- Oh, come on, will you?

- No, I can't do it.

You're my brother, my
own flesh and blood.

- You don't have to hit me
very hard, just hard enough

to raise a small bump.

Oh, hi, Pop!

- Oh, hi, son.

- Gee, thanks again for giving
me the money ahead of time.

- Oh, that's all right.

Judging by the way this bump
on my head is going down,

you'd have had it won
by tomorrow anyway.

- I was just down the garage
checking with Mr. O'Brien

to see how much he'd
charge me to paint my car.

- Oh, yes, I understand
you're thinking

of having your car painted.

Your mother mentioned
something about heliotrope.

- No, I changed my mind.

That color would
look OK on big cars,

but look pretty silly on mine.

- Oh, well, I'm glad
to hear you say that.

I was kind of worried
there for a while,

but I knew after you
thought it over you'd

reach the right decision.

Well, the color I'm
going to have it painted

is the latest thing.

It's a little more expensive,
though, because you need

special equipment for the job.

- Oh, what color is that?

- Oh, it's a real special deal.

They call it "leopard skin."

NARRATOR: You can find where
to buy your new Hotpoint

by checking your local
classified telephone directory.

Look for Hotpoint under
the appliance you want.

Ask your local Hotpoint dealer
to show you the new Hotpoint

ranges, the new Hotpoint
refrigerators, the new Hotpoint

automatic washers and dryers,
and the new Hotpoint automatic

dishwashers.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to
you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste
stops the major cause

of tooth decay every
minute of every day.

- Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Goodnight, and remember,
Hotpoint changes your viewpoint

automatically.

- That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always
say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your
viewpoint automatically.

[applause]

NARRATOR: The part
of Doctor Williams

was played by Frank Cady.

The nurse was Carol Brewster.

This is Verne Smith speaking.