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1
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,916
Hey, hey, Jim? Yo.
2
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,485
You didn't get coffee? Huh? No.
3
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,153
Machine must be jammed again.
4
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,655
Let me give you a hand.
5
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,656
Excuse me.
6
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,124
Hey.
7
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,458
Tony, Tony, Tony!
8
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,427
Pounding on it is
not gonna help.
9
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:53,812
Oh, is the coffee
that bad this morning?
10
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,814
No. The coffee machine's broken.
11
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,483
Why don't you get a screwdriver?
12
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,451
Hey, that would hit the spot.
13
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,056
Which of the machines has that?
14
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,424
No, no, no, Jim,
15
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,660
she means a screwdriver
to open the machine.
16
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,662
Oh. I'll get one out
of the tool room.
17
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:13,598
Hey, how come this is locked?
18
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,501
Louie says it's off-limits.
19
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,336
The tool room is off-limits now?
20
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,670
Yeah.
21
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:22,641
And I'm not supposed to
tell why no matter what.
22
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,478
You mean he's hiding
something in there?
23
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,916
Louie'll kill me,
but he's storing food in there.
24
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:31,984
Food?
25
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,451
Yeah. Why?
26
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,288
Uh, well, he thinks the
end of the world's coming,
27
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,291
so he's turning the
room into a-a shelter.
28
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,394
Louie's determined to survive.
29
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,396
I wish he'd put it up to a vote.
30
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,697
Yeah.
31
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,236
What's that?
32
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:54,138
What's what?
33
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,041
What's in the barrel?
34
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,010
My lunch.
35
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,882
A lunch of wheat?
36
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,351
You get tired of salami.
37
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,088
Louie, why are you, uh,
38
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,391
suddenly preparing for
the end of the world?
39
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,025
You know something we don't?
40
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,797
Judas!
41
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,837
All right, I got this idea
42
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,073
while I was watching the
donahue show one day.
43
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,241
He had a guy on there
44
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,243
who was saying where
the world was going
45
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,913
and what we had to do
to protect ourselves.
46
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,916
And let me tell you something,
he scared the hell out of me.
47
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,818
And you know who else he scared?
48
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:40,853
Donahue.
49
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,855
Donahue?
50
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,625
Donahue's not
a-scared of anything.
51
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,292
Well, he's scared of this.
52
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,794
No.
53
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,130
You know that special
twinkle he's got in his eye?
54
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,132
Yeah. Well, it was gone,
55
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,167
as gone as your brain.
56
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,303
What are you worried
about, Louie?
57
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,806
I'm worried about
everything, banta.
58
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,275
I'm worried about,
uh, about inflation,
59
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,310
destroying the economy,
60
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,312
about, uh, murderers
61
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,047
running loose in the streets,
62
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,049
about criminals
controlling the cities,
63
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:14,052
politicians
hamstringing the police,
64
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:18,723
nuclear holocaust,
epidemic, class warfare,
65
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,959
an end of the world
as we know it.
66
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,962
Oh, boo hoo.
67
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,197
You gotta learn to take the bad
68
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,233
with the good, boss.
69
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,201
Well, thanks, confucius.
70
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,905
Louie, come on,
if that were to happen,
71
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,406
then no one would survive.
72
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,477
Oh, yeah?
73
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,479
Someone would.
74
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,447
Come with me.
75
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,325
Welcome to Louie's doom room.
76
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,396
I've been doing a
lot of studying.
77
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,800
This garage was built
back in the days
78
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,802
when they knew how
to build buildings.
79
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,904
I mean,
back in the days when they used
80
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:09,140
good Irish and Italian laborers,
81
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,176
not these foreigners
they got now.
82
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,481
All right, up here by nardo,
83
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,083
my food supply:
84
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:21,920
Freeze-dried,
dehydrated goodies.
85
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:25,724
My water purifier,
my grain mill...
86
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,692
Look at this, huh?
87
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,762
Over here?
88
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,364
My generator for electricity.
89
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,499
And there?
90
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,636
My radiation-proof suits.
91
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,741
Louie, this must have
cost you a fortune.
92
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,776
What good is money in the
bank, nardo,
93
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,745
when you're a
radioactive pretzel?
94
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,648
Hey, Lou,
how come you got four cots?
95
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,016
You don't think that I'm gonna
96
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,018
come in here alone, do you?
97
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,688
I've picked a survival
squad to be with me.
98
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,689
Oh...
99
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,091
First of all, there's Jeff.
100
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:05,597
I need him to convince
the black hordes I'm cool.
101
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,467
I'll do what I can.
102
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,774
Oh, then, of course,
there's nardo's cot.
103
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,012
You wasted your money, Louie.
104
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,448
Nardo, shh.
105
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,451
Don't bother to deny me on this.
106
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,787
When the day comes,
you'll be knocking on that door.
107
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:33,825
When you're up to your pretty,
dimpled cheeks in rubble,
108
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,061
and I'll be in here waiting.
109
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,696
Just so we know that it's you,
110
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,432
here's the password.
111
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,303
That's disgusting!
112
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,607
But memorable.
113
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,209
It'll be our little love
call, nardo.
114
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,079
Louie, if you and I were the
last man and woman on earth,
115
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,715
we'd be the last man
and woman on earth.
116
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,184
So let me see, there's, um,
117
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,288
there's you and Jeff and
Elaine, right?
118
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,291
But when the holocaust comes,
who's gonna be the, uh,
119
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,858
fourth member of
your survival squad?
120
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,095
Were you thinking of me, boss?
121
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,905
Yes, iggy,
I was thinking of you...
122
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,576
The last time I stepped on
a snail in my bare feet.
123
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,946
Please, boss, let me join in.
124
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,615
All this talk has got me scared.
125
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,384
I don't want to die.
126
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:35,220
Trust me, iggy,
you'll never know the difference.
127
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,022
All right, come
on, everybody out.
128
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,860
Out, out, out,
out, out, out, out!
129
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,900
So, uh...
who is the fourth member?
130
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,268
I bet I know.
131
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,269
You're gonna take Alex.
132
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,439
Well, I was thinking of reiger.
133
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,442
But it wouldn't work,
because he'd vie with me
134
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,611
for leadership of the group.
135
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,580
Besides,
he'd use up too much oxygen.
136
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,454
Ah, the fourth man I picked
137
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:13,658
is a very important
cog in my machine.
138
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:18,129
I needed an enforcer.
139
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,900
Somebody who would respond
to my every command.
140
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,769
Someone with a lot of muscle,
141
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,472
and a single-digit I.Q.
142
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,941
Yeah,
well just forget about him.
143
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,409
He's not interested
in this stuff.
144
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,777
I wouldn't count on him, Louie.
145
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,679
No way, Louie.
146
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,480
Who we talking about?
147
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,751
I think he means you, Tony.
148
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:42,020
Get out of here.
149
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,860
You want me, Louie?
150
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,528
You bet I do, banta.
151
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,930
You know what New York
city's like when it rains?
152
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,733
People will kill
each other for a cab.
153
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:58,136
Imagine what it would be
like if disaster hit here.
154
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,171
This city would
be a combat zone.
155
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,074
You had experience in Vietnam.
156
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,375
Yeah, I did.
157
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:07,679
Take two or three weeks
and read this pamphlet.
158
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,214
It'll fill ya in.
159
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,748
"Heading for armageddon."
160
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:13,184
The guy is a terrific writer.
161
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,087
Look, uh, keep your
nightmares to yourself, Lou.
162
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,755
I think it's about
time we go to Mario's.
163
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:18,856
Come on. Elaine: Oh, yeah.
164
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,469
All right, wait a minute,
wait a minute, now.
165
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,127
Let everybody shut up,
166
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,862
and let's hear what
banta has to say.
167
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,998
Let him decide for himself.
168
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,199
All right, fine. Go ahead.
169
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,479
Go ahead, Tony. Go on, tell him.
170
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,247
Tell him what you think of
his ghoulish little, uh,
171
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:34,372
morbid cynical,
little plan for doomsday.
172
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,340
I think it sounds like fun.
173
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,211
That's my boy. Here.
174
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,379
Read, read, read.
175
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,013
It's got pictures in there.
176
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,762
You know, you guys don't know
what you're talking about.
177
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,664
You haven't got an idea of
what you're talking about.
178
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,756
It's one thing to save up a lot
of food and read scare books,
179
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,959
but it's another thing to
lock yourselves up in a room.
180
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,693
I don't think this
little group of yours
181
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,161
would last two days in there.
182
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,865
Oh yeah, reiger?
183
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,444
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah?
Is that what you think?
184
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:03,980
Yeah, yeah. Yeah?
Yeah, that's what you think? Yeah?!
185
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,436
Yeah. Yeah, yeah!
You do think that?
186
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,316
Yeah. Yeah, well,
i'm going to show you, reiger.
187
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,639
I'll show you what we can do.
188
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,009
Your little speech here
gave me a good idea.
189
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:14,512
Our little group needs
some field experience.
190
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,880
All the books say
191
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,315
you got to conduct drills.
192
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,684
That is exactly
what I'm gonna do.
193
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,686
My crack squad and I
194
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,155
are gonna go in
there for a weekend.
195
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,591
We're gonna spend
two days in there
196
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,661
just as though a
disaster had really hit.
197
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,496
Just like maneuvers in the
army, Lou.
198
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,942
That's a good idea!
That's right, banta.
199
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,065
Come here, Jeff.
200
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,368
All right,
so what disaster is it gonna be?
201
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,736
I don't know.
202
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,206
How about civil rioting?
203
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,507
That's not bad.
204
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,109
Uh, but why don't we
go for the atomic war?
205
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,078
Hey, what about
earthquake and pestilence?
206
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,280
Oh, man, why fool around
with that small stuff?
207
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,681
Let's go for atomic war.
208
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,250
Yeah, but earthquakes are bad.
209
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,763
All right, all right,
hold it, hold it.
210
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,220
All right, we'll do it all.
211
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,422
It's an atomic blast
212
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:02,026
that starts an earthquake,
setting off civil rioting.
213
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,361
All right? All right.
214
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,296
Good, Lou.
215
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,998
All right,
we can throw pestilence in
216
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,799
and stuff like that.
All right, okay.
217
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,107
Jeff? Yeah.
218
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,842
I'm ready. Where's banta?
219
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,978
He's on his way. Keys.
220
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,881
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
221
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:25,156
Lou, let me ask you a question.
222
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,053
Have you thought this
thing through really well?
223
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,922
I mean, if you're gonna be
in there with all that food,
224
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,601
and everybody out here's
gonna be starving,
225
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,103
they're gonna be
trying to get in there.
226
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,394
And what if there
was a little girl
227
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,164
who hadn't had anything
to eat for days?
228
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,599
I mean some cute, little, uh,
229
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,934
freckle-faced girl,
230
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:46,738
came, uh,
weakly rapping at your door.
231
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,444
Begging for a morsel of food.
232
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,879
What are you gonna do about
that, huh?
233
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,013
You gonna turn her away?
234
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,982
Let me get this
straight, reiger.
235
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,621
Are we talking about a,
a little adorable muppet?
236
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:08,026
Uh, you know, uh,
say about eight years old,
237
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,963
golden ringlets,
just a hint of a lisp?
238
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,432
Yeah, that's the one.
239
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,500
But look, reiger,
240
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,903
it's survival of the fittest.
241
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,139
I mean, there's no room
for compassion here.
242
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,676
I mean, if you're
soft, you're dead.
243
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,271
But, Louie,
what about that little girl?
244
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,148
She's buzzard bait.
245
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:36,888
All right, Jeff, I'm ready.
246
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:37,989
All right.
247
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,457
Tony, that's a great look.
248
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,626
How do I go about getting
an outfit like that?
249
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,893
You enlist in the army
250
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,796
and you spend a year of
your life in Vietnam.
251
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:45,831
How about just the hat?
252
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,435
Tony! Jeff!
253
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,137
Yeah? Let's go.
254
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,005
Now, now,
let's pay attention here.
255
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,540
We got to do this right.
256
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,142
We got to get organized.
257
00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:00,912
It is now 1:00 Friday afternoon.
258
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,248
Lou, 1300 hours.
259
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,083
Good, banta.
260
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,920
1300 hours, Friday afternoon.
261
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,089
We are gonna go into
that survival bunker
262
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,058
and lock the door behind us.
263
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:17,428
And under no conditions
are we gonna emerge
264
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,698
prior to 1600 hours, sunday.
265
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,933
Yeah. All right.
266
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,635
Now as far as we're concerned,
267
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:28,472
the world out here is gone.
268
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,740
Are there any questions?
269
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,709
Who played lumpy in
leave it to beaver?
270
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:41,019
We may look silly to
you, reiger,
271
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:44,689
but we're doing something
here that's very important.
272
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,891
There are a lot
of people who feel
273
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,027
exactly the way I do.
274
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,695
And if I'm crazy,
275
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,097
then there are millions
of people out there
276
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,766
who are just as crazy as I am.
277
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,702
Well, that makes me
feel a lot better.
278
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:00,371
All right, are you ready?
279
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,373
I'm ready, Louie. I guess.
280
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,609
Okay, disaster has struck.
281
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,545
Let's go to the survival bunker.
282
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,481
All right, hey, Alex,
Elaine, have a nice weekend.
283
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,894
Bye. Alex: Yeah, enjoy yourself.
284
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,152
Say good-bye to the
world as we know it.
285
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,597
Good-bye to the world as we...
286
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,888
No, no, no... figure of speech.
287
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,558
So long, losers.
288
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,397
I just had a terrifying thought.
289
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,399
If the world were
to end tomorrow,
290
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,034
that's what's left
of the human race.
291
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,704
Man your stations.
292
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,972
Hey, Louie?
293
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,518
Ain't we supposed to
be doing something?
294
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,109
We are doing something, banta.
We're surviving.
295
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,718
You want something to read?
296
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,153
I'm still working
on the pamphlet.
297
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,960
Hey, how 'bout something to
eat, Lou?
298
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:31,061
That's a good idea.
299
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,730
Here we go.
300
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:38,469
A nice, big bowl of
vitamin-enriched legumes.
301
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,741
These here
302
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,277
have the nutritional equivalent
303
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,213
of an entire egg breakfast.
304
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,016
What're we supposed
to do with them?
305
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,184
You eat them.
306
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,586
Mmm!
307
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,554
This is awful.
308
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,025
Louie, ain't you got anything
309
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,795
that tastes good to eat
in this place? Yeah.
310
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,197
- There's some freeze-dried ice cream.
- Nah-uh!
311
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,632
Don't you dare touch that
freeze-dried ice cream
312
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,768
until you've finished
your legumes.
313
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,249
Come on, Louie,
let's eat some...
314
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,539
Sit down!
315
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,373
Eat!
316
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,009
Hey, let's take a vote on it.
317
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,477
Everybody for ice
cream raise your hand.
318
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,990
It's three to one, Louie.
319
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,499
Ignatowski,
what the hell are you doing in here?
320
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,835
I'm voting for ice cream.
321
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,603
What are you doing in
my survival bunker?
322
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:46,849
You're not supposed to be here.
323
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,407
Oh, I've been living
in here for three days.
324
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,577
Eating this great food,
listening to the short wave,
325
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,045
reading all those books,
326
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,348
and sleeping in these
crazy sleeping bags.
327
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,019
Get the hell out of here, you.
328
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,756
Come on. Oh, come on, boss.
329
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,190
Let me stay.
330
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,225
I'll be a good soldier.
331
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,960
Iggy? Huh?
332
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,463
Your mind is mush.
333
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:16,634
I haven't got the faculty
of Harvard in here as it is.
334
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,481
Come on now,
you got to get out of here before...
335
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,505
Oh, boss...
336
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,607
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
337
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,142
This is perfect!
338
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,676
This is great!
339
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,078
I'm glad you're here, iggy.
340
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:30,515
Thanks, boss,
I'm glad to be here!
341
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,882
Iggy? Huh?
342
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,585
You are gonna play
an important part
343
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,521
in my little survival group.
344
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,189
Hey, you bet!
345
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,490
What do you want me to do?
346
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,792
What can I do for you, boss?
347
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,493
All right, you just stand there...
uh-huh.
348
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,195
And let banta throw you out.
349
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,097
Can do.
350
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:48,166
What are you talking
about, Louie?
351
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,368
Look, banta,
we're simulating the real thing here.
352
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,370
That's why I got
you on the squad.
353
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,040
Remove the invading anarchist.
354
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,076
Come on, Louie, it's just Jim.
355
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,343
It's not Jim.
356
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,413
It's a starved maniac
after your food.
357
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,548
Hey, he could have my legumes.
358
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,319
Will you get out of here?
359
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,854
That is the enemy, banta.
360
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,423
He is threatening our lives.
361
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,991
Now, get up and throw
him out of here.
362
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,660
Okay, come on,
Jim, you got to go.
363
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,005
It's just a drill anyway.
Come on...
364
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,864
No, no...
banta, this is not a drill.
365
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,566
You have to tell yourself
that this is the real thing.
366
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,902
Outside that door,
367
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,138
there's a world that's smoking,
368
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,541
burning, glowing.
369
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:33,177
There's nothing
out there; No air,
370
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:37,214
no water, no food,
just total devastation.
371
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,589
You want me to throw
him out into that?
372
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,958
That's right.
I want you to throw him out of there.
373
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,492
If you can't do it now,
374
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,961
then you'll never be able to
do it and you're no use to me.
375
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,746
I can't do it, Louie.
376
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,784
Okay, coward, I'll do it.
377
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,285
I'll throw iggy out myself.
378
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,654
No, no, don't do that, boss!
379
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,989
I want to live.
I want to stay here with you.
380
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,090
I don't want to die.
381
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,560
I'm sorry, iggy.
382
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,062
I mean, I...
that's the way it is.
383
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,632
It's a question of who's gonna
survive, you or me?
384
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,467
It can't be both of us.
385
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,436
That's why I gotta
throw you out.
386
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,405
I understand.
387
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,209
I don't want ya to
die because of me.
388
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,211
So long, boss.
389
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,445
Good-bye.
390
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,552
Could I ask just one more
thing from you, boss?
391
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,888
No food, no water, no nothing.
392
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,857
A hug?
393
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,624
See, Louie?
394
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,627
It's no fun pretending
everybody's dead.
395
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,829
What if you're not
pretending, banta?
396
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,431
That won't be any fun either.
397
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,039
You had to hug me.
398
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,274
All right, forget it!
399
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,742
The whole thing's called off.
400
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,110
Let's go.
Don't go out there, boss!
401
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,182
Will you get away from the door?
402
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,152
There's nothing but devastation
and death out there.
403
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,387
Nobody and nothing.
404
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,488
Hi, Alex.
405
00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:01,158
Well, an 11-minute armageddon.
406
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,126
Sort of an "armageddonette."
407
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,398
Come on, Jeff, I'll buy you a beer.
I hear you.
408
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,566
Hey, see you later. Yeah.
409
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,501
Oh, come on, Louie.
410
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,303
It's not the end of the world.
411
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,109
Real funny, reiger.
412
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,010
You see this?
413
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,845
Dead man!
414
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,347
What are you talking about?
415
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,984
I was done in by a soft heart.
416
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,022
Whose?
417
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,858
I couldn't throw
ignatowski out of there.
418
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:38,162
When it came right down to
it, I was soft.
419
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,398
I'm a loser like you.
420
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,602
When the end comes,
421
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:49,306
I'll be nothing but
a charcoal briquette.
422
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:52,008
Oh, gee, what a shame.
423
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,290
Now, you're just gonna
have to take your chances
424
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,681
with the rest of us. Yeah.
425
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:02,886
Hey, Louie,
it's not gonna be what you think.
426
00:22:04,189 --> 00:22:05,989
You couldn't throw Jim out.
427
00:22:06,024 --> 00:22:08,092
You couldn't turn
your back on Jim.
428
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,694
And if the time came,
you wouldn't be able
429
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:12,141
to turn your back
on that little girl
430
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,864
or anybody else for that matter.
431
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,167
And that's where our hope is.
432
00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:20,571
Not in, uh,
radiation suits and fallout shelters,
433
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:22,739
but in compassion.
434
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:25,609
If we don't give up on the
future, we can make it.
435
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:28,912
We don't have to be
afraid of tomorrow.
436
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,848
We can look forward to it.
437
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:40,057
Did you say something, reiger?
438
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,760
Ah, no, no, no, no,
439
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,229
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
440
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:47,209
No, no, no, no... you were listening.
I wasn't listening.
441
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:48,965
You were listening.
442
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:52,503
Don't sit there dripping
with love for humanity
443
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,006
and pretending you
didn't hear me.
444
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:59,776
You sweet,
little tender rascal, you.
445
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,392
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Hey, hey, hey, Louie.
446
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,416
Louie, come on.
Everybody went to Mario's.
447
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,117
Come on, let me buy you a beer.
448
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:09,086
Uh, maybe later.
449
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,958
Hey, reiger, wait up.
450
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:21,732
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
451
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,305
Good night, Mr. Walters!
31771
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