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1
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,434
May I have your
attention, please?
2
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,267
God knows, I hate to interrupt
3
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:47,300
the important conversations
I know you're all having,
4
00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:51,567
but someone special
is retiring today
5
00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:55,467
after 41 years
with sunshine cabs.
6
00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:58,734
These are the last receipts
7
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:05,033
that will ever be turned in
by our old friend maxie...
8
00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,334
What is that, "mulch"?
9
00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:11,334
Mulcher?
10
00:02:11,367 --> 00:02:12,601
Melcher.
11
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:13,601
Terrible handwriting.
12
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,367
Nerves go first, huh, maxie?
13
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:22,968
Anyway, it's customary,
when a person retires
14
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,667
to present them
with a little gift
15
00:02:25,701 --> 00:02:28,667
to help them keep
track of the time.
16
00:02:28,701 --> 00:02:30,667
So here you are, maxie,
17
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:37,133
a lovely calendar depicting
12 different scenes
18
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,901
of American highways.
19
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:41,701
Use it in good health.
20
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:51,968
Thank you.
21
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,434
You know, a lot of you...
22
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:58,868
Rodriguez, 993.
23
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,467
Murphy...
24
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,567
Louie...
25
00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:03,601
Beat it, Max.
26
00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:07,601
Look, uh, Jeff,
27
00:03:07,634 --> 00:03:11,634
if anybody wants me,
I'll be in the library.
28
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,801
Just act natural
29
00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:26,267
and don't make a fuss over this.
30
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,534
Over a briefcase?
31
00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:30,767
This isn't any
briefcase, Elaine.
32
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:32,267
I was cruising the
Broadway district,
33
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,801
like I do on Thursdays,
34
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,009
you know,
hoping to make a contact.
35
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,133
The guy I picked up
36
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,501
left this in the back of the
cab, right?
37
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,701
And I was thinking that maybe
there's a chance this guy
38
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:42,601
might be important in the
theater, you know?
39
00:03:42,634 --> 00:03:44,400
Oh, and he's going
to owe you a favor
40
00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:45,701
for returning this, right?
41
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,434
Hey, Elaine, you know,
42
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,043
there are a lot of ways
to make it in the theater,
43
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,400
and if being nice
is one of them,
44
00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:51,701
I'm willing to give it a shot.
45
00:03:51,734 --> 00:03:52,968
Beautiful thought, Bob.
46
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,100
Beautifully put. Thanks.
47
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,334
Hey, what's up?
48
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,234
Shh. I don't want Louie
to know about this.
49
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:58,934
I found it in the
back of my cab.
50
00:03:58,968 --> 00:04:01,868
You have that, too, huh?
51
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:06,234
I'm always finding stuff
people leave behind...
52
00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:11,901
Old magazines, gloves, meat...
53
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,467
Meat?
54
00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:16,300
Not good meat... chewy.
55
00:04:16,334 --> 00:04:17,667
Oh.
56
00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:21,467
Jim, sit down.
57
00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:23,634
Anyway,
if I'm going to return this
58
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:24,834
I got to get it unlocked
59
00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:26,367
to find out who it belongs to,
60
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,567
but I've been trying,
and I can't do it.
61
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,701
I thought the rule was,
62
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:31,543
anything you find in a cab,
you got to turn in to Louie.
63
00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:33,634
Anything that goes
into Louie's cage
64
00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:35,234
vanishes from the
face of the earth.
65
00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:38,567
Yes, with the definite
exception of Louie himself.
66
00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:41,167
Hey, you know what?
There are initials on this... n.Z.
67
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,968
Norman zelnick!
68
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,334
My god.
69
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:46,834
Who's Norman zelnick?
70
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,267
I was hoping one
of you would know.
71
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,601
Geeze.
72
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,701
All right, so I guess we're just
gonna have to bust it open, huh?
73
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,067
No, no, no, Tony.
I don't want to ruin the case.
74
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,968
Ooh... latka's a mechanic.
75
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,176
He's got to have something
that can open this.
76
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,534
Yeah, that's right.
77
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,534
Latka, come here.
78
00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:08,534
What?
79
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:09,734
Take a look at this case.
80
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,334
You think you can open it?
81
00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:12,501
Oh, sure, I can.
82
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:14,400
I have just the right tool.
83
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:17,901
Give him a chance,
give him a chance.
84
00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:21,567
Latka!
85
00:05:21,601 --> 00:05:23,567
What the hell is this, iwo jima?
86
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,400
What's going on here?
87
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:29,267
Louie, Louie,
I found this briefcase
88
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,367
in the back of my cab
89
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,534
and you're not getting it.
90
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:35,267
Well, why don't you open it
and find out whose it is?
91
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,667
Oh, you think it's that
easy, huh?
92
00:05:37,701 --> 00:05:41,133
Well, I've been trying,
I been trying and I can't do it.
93
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:42,234
I'll open it for you.
94
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:45,968
Yeah, what makes you
think you can open it?
95
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:26,033
Ten bucks, Wheeler.
96
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,400
All right, ten bucks.
97
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:31,501
Easy to come by.
98
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:32,534
Do your worst.
99
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,200
Pleasure doing
business with you.
100
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:35,834
All right. Come on, come on.
101
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:48,567
Okay, okay...
102
00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:49,877
You ain't getting anything
that's in there, Louie.
103
00:06:49,901 --> 00:06:50,901
What? What?
104
00:06:50,934 --> 00:06:52,133
What? What? Come on, now,
105
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,310
you got your money.
Now, get out of here.
106
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:55,000
Go! Shoo! Shoo!
Scram, mush, mush!
107
00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:58,367
All right! Okay!
Calm down! Calm down!
108
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:04,400
I can't.
109
00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:05,567
You can't what?
110
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:07,234
I got...
I got to have something out of
111
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:08,567
- that briefcase.
- Louie...
112
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:09,567
I got... I got to, please!
113
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:10,810
Louie, you get out of
here, Louie...
114
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:12,334
No, I mean it,
Wheeler, I mean it.
115
00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:13,334
Get out of here.
116
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,334
Uh, Bob, I think he's serious.
117
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,601
He needs this. He's not like us.
118
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,400
Just anything,
Wheeler, anything.
119
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:23,734
Anything.
120
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:25,887
All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.
121
00:07:27,934 --> 00:07:29,300
Huh? Huh? Huh?
122
00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:30,334
Okay. Huh?
123
00:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,100
Oh!
124
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:38,434
A pen!
125
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:39,601
Good.
126
00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:41,434
Good. Hey, iggy!
127
00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:42,601
Look, I got a pen.
128
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,100
Eh... Yeah.
129
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:45,901
Good, good.
130
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,834
I've never seen a human being
131
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,033
experience such joy.
132
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,300
A human being couldn't.
133
00:07:56,534 --> 00:07:58,234
Looks like the guy who owns this
134
00:07:58,267 --> 00:07:59,234
is a pretty rich dude.
135
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:00,767
Hey...
136
00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:02,200
I may have hit the jackpot.
137
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:03,868
I don't know who this guy is.
Let's see.
138
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,734
But he's got a picture
of Stephen sondheim.
139
00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:06,934
Oh, let me see.
140
00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,067
That's Stephen sondheim?
141
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,200
Yeah, the guy on the left.
142
00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:10,567
I don't recognize the other guy.
143
00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,067
Maybe that's Norman zelnick.
144
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,667
Hmm.
145
00:08:16,701 --> 00:08:20,334
There isn't any Norman zelnick.
146
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,701
Wait, Bobby.
147
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:25,534
I've heard that name before.
148
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:28,701
Oh, my gosh! Look at this!
149
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:30,701
It's a picture of Paul Newman!
150
00:08:30,734 --> 00:08:33,534
Hey, yeah,
and the guy up here is the same guy
151
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,367
as the picture down here.
152
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,868
Whose briefcase this must be.
153
00:08:36,901 --> 00:08:38,234
This is fun.
154
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,734
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
155
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:42,100
What are we doing here?
156
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:43,877
Are we trying to find
out the name of the guy
157
00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:45,577
who owns this,
so we can give it back to him
158
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,376
or are we just snooping
through his briefcase?
159
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,267
We're just snooping
through his briefcase.
160
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,477
And loving every minute of it.
161
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:53,667
Whoa, look what I got here...
His appointment book.
162
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,901
All right! Ooh!
163
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:57,400
Oh, wow, look at that.
164
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,701
"Tuesday, lunch, l. Strasberg."
165
00:08:59,734 --> 00:09:01,467
That's Lee strasberg.
166
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,300
"Wednesday, lunch, Liza."
167
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,033
Minnelli. Doesn't say.
168
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:06,400
Got to be.
169
00:09:06,434 --> 00:09:08,868
Wow, he's having lunch
with somebody famous
170
00:09:08,901 --> 00:09:10,634
every day this week.
171
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,367
Oh, look at this.
172
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,901
He knows Cary Grant...
An autographed picture.
173
00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:17,567
Oh, wow.
174
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,734
Who do you figure this guy is?
175
00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:21,734
I don't know.
176
00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,567
Maybe he's an agent,
maybe a producer.
177
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:25,734
Or maybe a real estate salesman.
178
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,801
- "Neal zacherman."
- Uh-huh.
179
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,400
"Zacherman real estate."
180
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:30,934
He sells real estate. Well...
181
00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,043
What's he doing with all
these pictures of celebrities?
182
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:36,234
I don't know. He must, uh,
specialize in famous people.
183
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,767
Sorry, Bobby.
184
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:39,968
Well, what's he doing the
rest of the week, Elaine?
185
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,934
I don't know.
I'm starting to feel real funny
186
00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:43,400
about looking through this.
Ah...
187
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:45,267
I mean, it is private
property, you know?
188
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,100
Aah... So one more.
189
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,300
Okay. All right.
190
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,777
"Woody's costume
party, Saturday night."
191
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:51,767
That's it.
192
00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:52,868
That's it.
193
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:55,067
That's one of Woody
Allen's famous parties.
194
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:58,400
He throws them once a year.
It's a tradition...
195
00:09:58,434 --> 00:10:00,901
All the biggest celebrities
in the world show up there.
196
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,000
Yeah, biggies,
like Neal zacherman, hmm?
197
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,534
No, no, Alex. Nah...
198
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,267
Really big stars, too.
199
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,767
I didn't read about
it in the paper.
200
00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:09,968
Well, it's not in the papers.
It's a secret.
201
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,701
He wants to keep
out the crashers.
202
00:10:11,734 --> 00:10:13,901
Oh! You know,
except for the people
203
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:15,701
who are invited to this
party, I mean,
204
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:18,133
we may be the only
ones who know about it.
205
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,701
That's very likely.
206
00:10:19,734 --> 00:10:21,200
Yeah.
207
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:28,467
Scarlett O'Hara.
208
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:29,501
I'll be cyrano.
209
00:10:29,534 --> 00:10:30,834
Yeah! Let's do it.
210
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:32,767
Hey, hey, hey, come on.
211
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,167
Alex, this is perfect.
212
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,267
What's perfect?
213
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,334
It's a costume party.
214
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:37,777
Nobody's going to
know who anyone is.
215
00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:38,934
It'll be great. Yes! Yes!
216
00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:41,167
If you get caught,
you're gonna look foolish.
217
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,634
It's worth the risk.
218
00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:45,734
- Aw, hey, come on, Alex?
- Come on, Alex.
219
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:46,801
- Yeah!
- Huh?
220
00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:48,167
This could really
help my career.
221
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,976
I mean, this place is
going to be contact city.
222
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000
Yeah! Listen, if it's
223
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,234
so important to you, go ahead.
224
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:53,400
What do you need me for?
225
00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:55,234
Well, if you go,
that means it's not so nuts.
226
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,601
So, the only way you're not
gonna look as crazy as you are
227
00:10:59,634 --> 00:11:01,000
is if I look as
crazy as you are?
228
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:02,567
I think so.
229
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,834
Well, as persuasive
as that argument is,
230
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:05,934
I don't want to go.
231
00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:07,000
Oh, come on!
232
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,310
I mean, what am I going to wear?
233
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,643
I'll fix you a costume.
Yeah! Oh, come on.
234
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,109
Hey, Elaine,
would you fix one for me, too?
235
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:11,868
Sure.
236
00:11:11,901 --> 00:11:12,601
And me?
237
00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:13,601
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
238
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:14,701
I'll fix you all three up.
239
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:15,777
Come on, Alex, what do you say?
240
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,767
Come on, Alex. Would you go?
241
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,801
It's ridiculous.
242
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:19,167
Oh! You're a drip.
243
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,000
Oh, you mean,
if I go to this one party
244
00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:22,534
it's gonna save me from dripdom?
245
00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:24,167
That's right.
246
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,367
Yeah. What do you say?
247
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,834
- Come on.
- What do I say?
248
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:28,200
Come on!
249
00:11:28,234 --> 00:11:30,934
I'll tell you what I say.
250
00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:32,901
I say, let's go to Woody's.
251
00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:36,200
Let's go to Woody's!
252
00:11:36,234 --> 00:11:37,534
Let's go to Woody's!
253
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:38,767
Let's go to Woody's!
254
00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:39,968
Let's go to Woody's!
255
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,434
Come on! Let's go to Woody's!
256
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,767
Let's go to Woody's!
257
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,701
Let's go to Woody's!
258
00:11:45,734 --> 00:11:47,701
Let's go to Woody's!
259
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,501
What's the matter?
260
00:11:55,534 --> 00:11:57,400
Louie... in the name of god,
261
00:11:57,434 --> 00:12:00,567
you're not thinking of going
to this thing, are you?
262
00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:02,601
You're gonna ruin it for all of
us, Louie.
263
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,667
Of course,
I'm going to this thing!
264
00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:06,200
I'm going to meet
a few celebrities.
265
00:12:06,234 --> 00:12:07,267
Ah, no, you're not.
266
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,267
I'll get some free food...
267
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:12,200
Take home a couple of
autographs with my new pen.
268
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,367
Aw, thanks, Louie. Thanks.
269
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,534
Bye.
270
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,200
Sounds like my kind of evening.
271
00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:19,868
Hey, wait a minute.
What are we worried about?
272
00:12:19,901 --> 00:12:22,534
Louie doesn't know
where the party is.
273
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:25,367
The location is right
here in the book, right?
274
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,501
Oh...
Which is now in the briefcase
275
00:12:27,534 --> 00:12:29,667
back on its way to its
owner, so...
276
00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:32,701
If nobody tells Louie
where the party is,
277
00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:35,467
that means Louie
can't go to the party.
278
00:12:35,501 --> 00:12:36,934
That's right.
279
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:38,534
Too bad, Lou.
280
00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:41,133
Yeah. We'll tell you
all about it afterwards.
281
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:42,234
- Right.
- Bye-bye, Lou.
282
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:44,033
I'll give your regards to Woody.
283
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,634
Bye-bye, Louie.
284
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,067
We're going to Woody's.
285
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,801
We're going to Woody's...
286
00:13:12,267 --> 00:13:14,868
I don't believe it.
We just walked straight in.
287
00:13:15,901 --> 00:13:17,767
I'm so nervous, I can't breathe.
288
00:13:17,801 --> 00:13:19,667
Okay, now just relax.
The worst is over.
289
00:13:19,701 --> 00:13:21,968
We're in.
290
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,901
Isn't this incredible?
What a great place
291
00:13:23,934 --> 00:13:25,167
to have a party, on a boat.
292
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,067
I know! Only Woody Allen
would think of this.
293
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,067
Hey, you don't mind,
I'm just going to go
294
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,376
and mingle a little
bit, you know?
295
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,367
Oh, no, no, no. Me, too.
296
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,944
Kind of feel out the
territory, you know.
297
00:13:32,968 --> 00:13:34,400
Just act unimpressed.
298
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:35,901
That's impossible.
299
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,801
Hey. It's the Andrews sisters.
300
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,267
Hey.
301
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,834
You guys look great.
302
00:14:04,868 --> 00:14:06,868
How'd you know it was us?
303
00:14:06,901 --> 00:14:09,367
Just a wild guess.
304
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,834
You know,
when-when Elaine told us
305
00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,334
about these costumes
306
00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:16,767
uh, Alex, he thought it
was going to look stupid.
307
00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:18,934
Well, I'm not too big a man
308
00:14:18,968 --> 00:14:20,467
to admit that I was right.
309
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:22,300
Look at this party.
Ain't it worth it? Huh?
310
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:23,467
It is fabulous.
311
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:25,501
And wait till you taste the food.
It's great!
312
00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:27,834
And they got one of the
best bands playing in there
313
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,000
I've ever heard.
314
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,734
Well, I have to
admit, it's a long way
315
00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:31,968
from beer and pretzels...
316
00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:44,467
Oh, my god!
317
00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:46,734
They hit Pearl harbor again?
318
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,767
Wait a minute.
319
00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:55,267
I know who you are.
320
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,667
Latka...
321
00:14:56,701 --> 00:14:59,133
Uh, Tony...
322
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:01,334
And Barbra Streisand.
323
00:15:06,801 --> 00:15:08,376
No, Jim, this is a costume
party, remember?
324
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,710
You were supposed
to wear an outfit.
325
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,634
Oh, yeah, yeah.
326
00:15:18,934 --> 00:15:22,167
I look wigged out, huh?
327
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,801
So come on, tell me.
Who's famous here?
328
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:25,133
Oh, everybody, man.
329
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,701
Before you guys came in,
I heard some people talking.
330
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:30,167
And they had to be Diane
Keaton and Truman capote.
331
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,234
Nah...
332
00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:33,267
Man, this is just too
good to stand here.
333
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,734
I got to mingle.
334
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,100
Me, too.
335
00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:38,000
Point me to the starlets.
336
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:39,100
Uh, shall we, Laverne?
337
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:40,133
Okay, Maxine.
338
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:41,167
Hey.
339
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,167
Hey, uh, Patty?
340
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,601
Come on, I'll get you a drink.
341
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:53,467
I couldn't help myself.
342
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:58,601
What are those?
343
00:15:58,634 --> 00:16:00,234
Oh, they're dramamine.
344
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:02,734
See, I get a little
seasickness on boats.
345
00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:04,667
This boat is tied to the
pier, Bob.
346
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:06,868
Yeah-yeah, I know,
but it's the motion that gets to me.
347
00:16:06,901 --> 00:16:07,901
Oh.
348
00:16:16,234 --> 00:16:18,701
What are you taking
there, Bobby?
349
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:21,601
Oh, these are for seasickness.
You want one?
350
00:16:21,634 --> 00:16:23,133
No, thanks.
351
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,601
I'm already a little seasick.
352
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,200
But don't go away.
It might wear off.
353
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,767
Oh, Alex,
I just came by to tell you
354
00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:36,334
I'm having such a terrific time
355
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:37,934
and that your seams are crooked.
356
00:16:37,968 --> 00:16:39,000
Huh?
357
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:40,667
Oh.
358
00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:41,901
How's that?
359
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,801
Much better.
360
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:51,100
Alex.
361
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:52,601
Huh?
362
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,067
Whoo!
363
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,968
Elaine,
why are you in such a hurry?
364
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,968
Oh, uh, well, I-I met this
guy, and we're dancing.
365
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,167
Hey, hey, Elaine, Elaine...
Who-who is this guy?
366
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,267
Do-do you think he might
be somebody famous?
367
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,000
Oh, Bobby,
I don't want to tell you.
368
00:17:09,033 --> 00:17:11,734
'Cause you're gonna think I'm
crazy, but he's al Pacino.
369
00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:13,467
Well, I mean,
his name is al, right?
370
00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:15,234
And I've seen all
of Pacino's movies,
371
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,601
and the voice could be his.
372
00:17:16,634 --> 00:17:18,100
Oh, boy, Elaine.
373
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:19,601
We're a little
star-struck, are we?
374
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:20,634
Well, just...
375
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:21,934
Hey, uh, can I meet him?
376
00:17:21,968 --> 00:17:23,334
Sure. Come on.
377
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:24,501
Oh, good.
378
00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:31,434
Whoa!
379
00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:36,601
You again.
380
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:41,534
Everywhere I go, he's there.
381
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,200
What a party! Huh?
382
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,434
You'll never guess who's here.
383
00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:51,534
He's headed this way. Who?
384
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,501
That's Henry kissinger.
385
00:17:53,534 --> 00:17:55,534
You can't miss that voice.
386
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,167
The lone ranger?
387
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,133
Wow. He's a great man, Tony.
388
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,434
I know.
I'm really getting impressed now.
389
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:03,167
That guy was the
secretary of state.
390
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,267
He won the nobel peace prize.
391
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:08,934
I've heard he was
always good to Tonto.
392
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,634
I was getting to that, Jim.
393
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,534
- Alex! Tony!
- Yeah.
394
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,634
Hey, Bob.
Hey, Bobby, what's the matter?
395
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:16,667
I just found out hal
prince is at this party.
396
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:18,100
Who's hal prince?
397
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,767
He's one of the biggest
directors on Broadway, Tony.
398
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:21,801
Are you sure it's him?
399
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,968
Oh, yeah.
400
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,667
I overheard this girl
talking to a walrus,
401
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:27,501
and she called him Mr. Prince.
402
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:28,968
Oh, Alex, how can I meet him?
403
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,167
You could take him a fish.
404
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:35,334
Bobby, he doesn't know you're
not supposed to be here.
405
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:38,167
Just go up to him and
introduce yourself
406
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,000
and have a little... chat.
407
00:18:40,033 --> 00:18:41,000
Hey.
408
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:42,000
Casually.
409
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,400
Hey, that's really good, Alex.
410
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,801
So... Just-just go up to him
411
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,434
and introduce myself
412
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:48,200
and talk to him casually.
413
00:18:48,234 --> 00:18:50,200
Hey, that's really great.
414
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:55,076
Hey, Alex,
you just been standing around.
415
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,143
I mean, come on. Let's mix.
416
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:57,601
Let's rub elbows
with the biggies.
417
00:18:57,634 --> 00:18:59,000
I don't know, Tony.
418
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,067
What, Alex?
419
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,167
What's wrong?
420
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,634
I've been wondering
about something.
421
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,968
I mean, why is it we
have this group of people
422
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,501
that we set off from ourselves?
423
00:19:07,534 --> 00:19:09,400
You know,
we call them famous people.
424
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,601
We treat them better,
we treat them special.
425
00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:14,367
We get excited when we're
in the same room with them.
426
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,234
What makes them so special?
427
00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:18,868
I know exactly what you're
saying, Alex.
428
00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,667
And I bet there's
plenty of famous people
429
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,968
that nobody even knows about.
430
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,634
We have to talk like
this more often, Tony.
431
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,100
Hey, Bobby,
did you meet hal prince?
432
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,133
Oh, yeah, kind of.
433
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,567
I threw up on him.
434
00:19:35,601 --> 00:19:39,267
Might have given "hi.
Nice party" a try first, Bob.
435
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,834
I'm never going to work
in show business again.
436
00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:46,167
Oh, I feel like going home.
437
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,300
Bobby,
what did you do to that walrus?
438
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,701
Look, everybody.
439
00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:52,133
Look what I got. Look here.
440
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,601
What do you got there, latka?
441
00:19:53,634 --> 00:19:55,834
I got autographs.
442
00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:58,033
What? Autographs.
443
00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:00,734
Latka, that's the worst
possible thing you could do.
444
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:04,200
Celebrities don't ask other
celebrities for their autographs.
445
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,834
Bobby, that's okay.
Take it easy.
446
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:09,667
Elaine,
do you realize what this means?
447
00:20:09,701 --> 00:20:11,501
Hal prince is going to find out
448
00:20:11,534 --> 00:20:16,334
that the guy that threw up on
him snuck in here to do it.
449
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:18,467
I don't care what you say.
450
00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:20,334
You can yell at me all you want,
451
00:20:20,367 --> 00:20:22,934
but I got the autographs
from famous people.
452
00:20:22,968 --> 00:20:24,901
Yeah, well,
who'd you get, latka?
453
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:26,367
Well... look.
454
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,901
First...
first here is George hanson.
455
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:33,901
It says, "best wishes to my
buddy, latka."
456
00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:36,267
And next here is, uh...
457
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,534
"Nice costume, latka."
458
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,934
Signed... is signed by Fran
459
00:20:39,968 --> 00:20:41,767
petricini.
460
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:45,534
"Here's looking at you, latka.
461
00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:47,334
Gus bates."
462
00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:49,267
Who are these people?
463
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:52,133
Well,
there is Gus bates over there
464
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,167
in the lone ranger outfit.
465
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,067
You know, suddenly,
I'm not so sure
466
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,634
we are where we think we are.
467
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,868
Boy, I know that feeling.
468
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:04,133
This explains something
I heard earlier.
469
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:06,667
I heard somebody said that
they were in the pacific
470
00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:08,501
with this guy Woody
during world war ii.
471
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,634
I figured they meant he was
entertaining the troops.
472
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,200
Woody Allen would have been
473
00:21:13,234 --> 00:21:15,234
about four years
old in world war ii.
474
00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:17,734
I didn't know when he got
started in show business.
475
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,701
So, who are these people, then?
476
00:21:20,734 --> 00:21:22,400
Friends of Neal zacherman's.
477
00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:24,834
Yeah, probably a bunch of
real estate people. Mm-hmm.
478
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:27,701
That means I didn't
throw up on hal prince.
479
00:21:27,734 --> 00:21:30,234
You're still young.
480
00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:31,707
Come on,
let's get out of this place.
481
00:21:31,734 --> 00:21:32,910
Come on, let's go have a beer.
482
00:21:32,934 --> 00:21:34,067
Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
483
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:35,810
Yeah, let's go. Come on.
That's a good idea.
484
00:21:35,834 --> 00:21:38,200
Where's the nearest u.S.O.?
485
00:21:38,234 --> 00:21:39,634
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
486
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:40,634
What? Wait a minute.
487
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:41,734
We're crazy, huh?
488
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,534
What's the big deal?
489
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:44,834
A moment ago, we were having
490
00:21:44,868 --> 00:21:46,267
the greatest party of our life
491
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,634
because we, uh,
thought we were among celebrities.
492
00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:50,367
So what if they're
not celebrities?!
493
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,376
They still could be interesting
people, can't they?
494
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,634
I'm going to get to
know, uh, Gus bates.
495
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,000
Hi. I'm Alex rieger.
496
00:22:00,033 --> 00:22:01,267
I'm Gus bates.
497
00:22:02,701 --> 00:22:04,534
Wait up, you guys!
498
00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:33,901
Oh, we're almost home.
499
00:22:33,934 --> 00:22:36,334
What a depressing night.
500
00:22:36,367 --> 00:22:37,334
You're telling me.
501
00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:39,300
Aw, come on, Elaine. Hey!
502
00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:41,701
You know, I mean,
you might have lost Rhett,
503
00:22:41,734 --> 00:22:44,968
you might have lost al Pacino,
but you still got Patty...
504
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,033
Maxine...
505
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,067
And Laverne.
506
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,234
Hit it, girls.
507
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:52,200
♪ Bei mir bist du schon ♪
508
00:22:52,234 --> 00:22:54,434
♪ Please let me explain
509
00:22:54,467 --> 00:22:58,434
♪ "bei mir bist du schon"
means that you're grand ♪
510
00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:03,200
♪ Bei mir bist du schon ♪
511
00:23:03,234 --> 00:23:05,234
♪ Again I'll explain
512
00:23:05,267 --> 00:23:09,400
♪ it means you're the
fairest in the land ♪
513
00:23:09,434 --> 00:23:12,167
♪ I could say "Bella, Bella" ♪
514
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,534
♪ Even say "wunderbar" ♪
515
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:18,234
♪ Each language only
helps me tell you ♪
516
00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:20,000
♪ How grand you are
517
00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:22,667
♪ I tried to explain
518
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:25,033
♪ bei mir bist du schon ♪
519
00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:30,234
♪ So kiss me and say
you'll understand. ♪
520
00:24:08,033 --> 00:24:09,567
Night, Mr. Walters.
35653
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