All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S02E04.The.Window.Pane.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- Point, point, it's a
Hotpoint and your life will

be for Hotpoint makes
the toughest job

around the house a breeze.

- Yes, Hotpoint means the
best for you, appliances

and cabinets, too.

- Electric kitchens
through and through.

They work automatically for you.

So point, point, it's a
Hotpoint for your laundry.

Move Hotpoint in, and it moves
out all washing drudgery.

So point, point,
it's a Hotpoint--

Nelsons do.

You'll toss your
cares up in the air

when Hotpoint works for you.

Let Hotpoint work for you.

[music playing]

- Hotpoint presents America's
favorite family comedy,

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie Nelson, played
by Ozzie Nelson himself.

And here is his lovely
wife, Harriet, busy as usual

and played by Harriet herself.

As you probably know,
there are two Nelson boys.

Here's David Nelson
played by David

himself, and swinging
around the corner

there is his young brother,
Ricky himself Nelson.

The Nelsons'
next-door neighbor is

Thorny, played by Don DeFore.

- I know I shouldn't laugh.

My old pal, Ozzie, has
had a rough day today.

It all started
early this morning.

Ozzie was just about ready to
get into his car to go downtown

when Harriet called to him.

- Oz?

- Yeah?

- Look, when you're
downtown today,

will you get somebody to come
out and fix that broken glass

in the kitchen door?

- What for?

- Well, I phoned
Mr. Williams, but he

said he couldn't come
all the way out here

for such a small job.

- No, I mean, why do we need
anybody to come out here,

Harriet?

I told you I'll fix it.

- You've been promising
that for weeks now.

Besides, it's not an easy job.

- For goodness' sakes, I'm
not a hopeless incompetent.

I can certainly fix a
little pane of glass

in the kitchen door.

Stop worrying
about it, will you?

- OK, if you think you can.

- I'll do it this afternoon.

Scout's honor.

[music playing]

- Now that in itself
wouldn't have been too bad,

except that when
poor Oz got home,

he got another jolt
to his self-esteem.

- Oh, hi, boys.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Pop.

- What are you doing there?

- We're just fixing
the door chimes.

- Gee, it looked OK to me.

- They look fine, but
they just don't work.

- Oh.

Well, Dave, why don't you check
the doorbell outside before you

go to all this trouble?

Maybe it's just stuck.

- We already did that, Pop.

- Yeah, it's the
first thing we did.

- Oh.

No trouble there, huh?

- No, no trouble, but I found
a pin I lost last Halloween.

- If, uh, if you'd
like me to, Dave,

I'll be glad to check
that button outside again.

- Oh, no thanks, Pop.

We checked it, and we
didn't find anything wrong.

- Just I've had quite a bit
of experience with doorbells.

- Golly, Pop, what
were you selling?

- I wasn't selling anything.

I mean, I've had quite a bit
of experience fixing doorbells.

Not too difficult if you
know what you're doing.

- David's awful good at
these kind of things.

- Oh, yeah?

Say, when you're ready,
Dave, just let me know,

and I'll go outside and
push the button for you.

- Hey, that's my job, Pop.

- Oh.

[music playing]

- Screwdriver, please.

[music playing]

- So I guess you fellas
are doing OK here.

If you need me, if you get
into a bind or anything, Dave,

I'll be over at
Mr. Thornberry's.

- OK, Pop.

- The number's right
in the phonebook there.

[music playing]

I was the one who
installed these chimes

in the first place, you know?

- Yeah, I know you did, Pop.

[music playing]

- Now then, I'll be over at Mr.
Thornberry's if you need me.

- So long, Pop.

- So long, boys.

- Ricky, do you think you
could find three long screws?

- Yeah, I guess so.
What for?

- May as well put 'em in.

These chimes are supposed
to have four holding 'em up.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- What are you doing?

Keeping my steps warm for me?

- Just sitting here
thinking about a few things.

- Yeah?

What's the trouble?

You look worried
about something.

- Oh, it's nothing, really.

It's-- Well, it's just that
my own family has dismissed me

as a hopeless incompetent.

- Oz, I can't believe that.

Whatever gave you that idea?

- Well, for one thing,
nobody'll let me

do any work around the house.

- And you're complaining?

Sounds like a
beautiful setup to me.

- Maybe so.

I offered my assistance
on two household chores,

was given a vote of no
confidence each time.

- Oh?

What sort of chores?

- Well, you know that broken
window over in the kitchen door

there?
- Well, sure.

You mean the one Ricky broke
a couple of months ago?

- A couple of weeks ago.

Anyway, Harriet
doesn't seem to think

I'm capable of replacing it.

And there are those
darn door chimes

I put in by the front door.

- Oh, yeah.

Say, did you ever get
those things to work?

- Well, certainly.

They worked fine.

That is, that they did up
until a little while ago.

And now something's
gone wrong with 'em,

and the the boys
won't even let me

help them fix the darn things.

- Well, Oz, I don't
mean to be unkind,

but you know some people
just aren't naturally

mechanically minded.

- Well, I didn't hear you
complain about that fishing

reel I fixed for you on our
camping trip last month.

- No, but later,
Catherine complained

about eating with the bent
fork you used to fix it with.

- Evidently, you have about the
same amount of confidence in me

that Harriet and the boys do.

- Now, look, Oz.

Don't go away mad.

We'd have more
confidence in you if you

do something about
the window instead

of just talking about it.

- Now that's not fair.

I hardly talked about it at all.

- Well, Harriet told
Catherine this morning

that she was gonna call in
a professional repairman,

and I don't blame her.

- Well, that won't be
necessary because I'm

gonna fix this myself.

In fact, I've been planning
to do it all along.

- Don't worry, Oz.

Why don't you wait till winter?

That broken place
will just freeze over.

- I've got a rough sketch and
the measurements right here.

- Well, goody for you.

Two more weeks, and you're
gonna have blueprints.

- For your information,
I happen to be on my way

down to the hardware store
right now to pick up the glass.

Where's my hat?

- You don't own one.

- You'll be laughing on
the other side of your face

when you see the professional
job I'm gonna do.

- Oz, I'm becoming
more impressed with you

all the time.

I just hope you
plan to wear gloves.

- You mean so I
don't cut my hands?

- Well, yes, and I
also thought you might

like to hide all those thumbs.

[music playing]

[chimes ringing]

- Come in.

[chimes ringing]

Come in.

[chimes ringing]

All right, I'll be right there.

- Try it again, Ricky.

- OK.

- Say, what is all this?

- We're just fixing
the door chimes.

- Oh, well, you guys ought to
warn me about these things.

For a minute, I thought they'd
moved a cathedral next door.

- Mom, listen.

- Yes, thanks a lot.

I heard 'em before.

- Aren't you glad we fixed it?

- I sure am.

You've done a
wonderful job, too.

[chimes ringing]

- Real crazy chimes, man.

- You're real crazy,
if you ask me.

- I must say, you guys
did that job quick enough.

- Well, if something
needs fixing,

you might as well
get at it right away.

- I wish you'd pass
that philosophy around

at the dinner table tonight.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it's a long story.

Say, I think a job like this
deserves a reward, don't you?

- Oh, I don't think so.

- Speak for yourself, David.

- How about taking you guys out
for a nice hot fudge sundae?

- Gee, that sounds
swell to me, mom.

- How about you, Ricky?

Ricky?

- Come on!

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

I saw you juggling
that piece of glass,

so I thought I'd come over
and wait for the crash.

- I'm sorry to
disappoint you, but there

isn't going to be any crash.

And furthermore, don't offer
any of your useless advice,

will you please?

Because I don't want it.

Out of the way.

- If you insist, but
look at it this way.

My vast store of
useless knowledge

is better than nothing.

- Handy assistance.

Hold my coat, would you please?

I want you to stand here
and watch a master craftsman

at work.

Man at the store told me exactly
how to perform this operation.

- Sure you know
what you're doing?

- Uh, hand me one of
those tools, please.

- Tool?
Which one?

- Any one.

First of all, we even
out all the edges.

- Oz.

What are you tearing
the house down for?

- Must admit, this came
as a bit of a surprise.

Here.
Hold this.

It may come in handy later on.

- Something tells me I
shouldn't be watching this.

[music playing]

- Nothing beats
the old know-how.

[music playing]

There.

How do you like it?

- Well, Oz, to tell you
the truth, you surprise me.

I can hardly believe it.

- Thanks a lot.

- Yes, sirree, that's
a beautiful job.

Harriet and the boys oughta
be proud of that, too.

- Thanks.

Gee, I wonder where they are?

- Well, they ought to
be along any minute now.

I think I'll be
running home, Oz.

- What's your hurry?

- Well, I promised Catherine
I'd help her with a few things.

- Well, I know, but wouldn't
you rather stick around

here for a while?
- What for?

The job's done.

- Well, no, I know, but
it's chilly out, isn't it?

Well, I thought maybe you and
I would stand around, admire

the finished product.

- I already admired it.

I told you it's a beautiful job.

- Oh, thanks, Thorny.

- Believe me.

I'll see you later, boy.

- OK.

Come in.

- Oz, I was just
passing by, and I

noticed that the glass
is broken in this door.

- It isn't very funny, Thorny.

You are the clumsiest oaf
I've ever seen in my life.

- Now, don't blame this on me.

It was the workmanship.

This would have happened
sooner or later anyway.

- It couldn't possibly
have happened any sooner.

I at least would've waited
till Harriet and the boys

saw the finished product.

- Oh, Oz, you wouldn't want
'em to see a job that was gonna

shatter the minute you gently
nudged the door closed.

- Gently nudged it?!

You deliberately
slammed the door

and kicked it with both
feet at the same time!

- Oz, please.

Remember, I'm very sensitive.

- Oh, what the heck.

I'll just have to
sweep up this glass

and go down and
get another pane.

- Sure.

Maybe you can have it in before
Harriet and the boys get back.

- No, I doubt it.

- Well, there's nothing
more I can do for you, Oz.

Guess I'll be running along.

- Oh, wait a minute.

Do me a favor, would you?

Would you mind going
out the front door?

It's solid wood.

[music playing]

- Thanks a lot for the
hot fudge sundae, Mom.

- Yeah, thanks a lot, Mom.

- Well, you're both
certainly welcome.

You earned it.

- The people sure
are a lot nicer

at the drugstore
when you're with me.

- In what way?

- Heck they don't even
ask to see my money first.

- Oh, darn.

- What's the matter, Mom?

- Your father
promised me definitely

that he'd fix that
broken pane for me.

- I hope he gets
it fixed by winter.

It's liable to be
awful cold around here.

- Hey, there's somebody pulling
in the driveway with a truck.

It's Mr. Williams.

- Oh, wonderful.

I guess he found he
could make it after all.

- Oh, darn it.

Looks like he's coming
in the back door.

Now I won't get to hear
those crazy chimes.

Hello, Mr. Williams.
- Well, hello, son.

Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Williams.

- Hello, Mrs. Nelson.

- This is a pleasant surprise.

You said you wouldn't
be able to make it.

- Well, I'll tell you.

I got to thinking that it might
inconvenience you, a window out

and the nippy
weather coming along.

- Well, that's very
thoughtful of you.

- And besides, during
the baseball season,

I do an awful lot of business
in this neighborhood.

And I can't let my
good customers down.

- Well, this particular
casualty was caused

by Ricky's model airplane.

- Oh?

Must have been a
pretty heavy one.

- Heck, I don't
mess around, boy.

- Can you fix it all
right, Mr. Williams?

- Oh, sure.
I'll have it fixed in a jiffy.

- You want any help?

- Are you kidding?

A lot of help you'd be.

- If I can I take
it apart, I ought

to be able to put it together.

- No, I believe I
can fix it myself.

Much obliged, though.
Thanks.

- I think we'd all
better go away and let

Mr. Williams alone.

- Well, I'll go out the
truck and get my stuff,

and I'll have it fixed
in a hurry for you.

And I'll fix it good, too.

- I'm sure you will.

Thank you, Mr. Williams.

- You're welcome.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

What are you gonna do
with a piece of glass?

- Well, what do you think?

Harriet, who repaired
the broken glass here?

- Mr. Williams, the repair man.
Remember?

I called him this morning.
He said he couldn't make it.

He changed his mind.

Wasn't it nice of him?

- Golly, I told you I'd do it.

I mean, don't you have any
confidence in me, Harriet?

- I was afraid you
wouldn't get around to it.

- Well, sure.

I might as well tell you now
I've already put the glass in.

- You could have fooled me.

When the boys and I got home,
the glass was still out.

- Well, I know.

I'll explain that, too.

It's that gosh darn Thornberry.

You know how clumsy he is.

He was over here watching
me and kibitzing the job.

And just as he went out,
he slammed the door shut,

and the glass fell all over.

It broke the glass right
after I'd put it in,

and it was really a good
workman-like job, too,

if I do say it myself.

Well, honestly,
Harriet, I'll show you.

He took the door and just
slammed it like that,

and the glass just broke.

In fact, he slammed it
much harder than that.

It was more like--

like that.

It must have been even harder.

The way he slammed it, no
pane of glass could stay in.

I don't care how professional
a job or what workmen, nobody

can put a pane of
glass that'll stand up

under something like that.

- I believe you.

You don't have to prove it.

Oz!

The pane is what's fixed.

That's all that's necessary.

- Yeah, I suppose so.

Well, I'll take the
pane of glass back.

- Why don't you
wait until tomorrow?

- No.

I want to get a
magazine or something.

I'll see you later.

So wait a minute.

I just happened to think.

When Thorny went out,
as he slammed the door,

he was saying
goodbye, and his head

was bent over like that aiming
right at the pane of glass.

So naturally, when
he pulled the door--

- Ozzie, no!

[music playing]

- Well, I'll--

[music playing]

I'll see you.

[music playing]

- Gee, I wonder what's
the matter with Pop?

- I think he's a little
disappointed that he didn't

get to put the glass in for me.

- I think he's a little
disappointed that he didn't

get to knock it out for you.

- It looked like he was
trying to break the window,

so he could fix it again.

- Say, David, do you know
I believe you're right?

I probably hurt his
feelings by having

Mr. Williams do the job for me.

- Gee, poor Pop.

- Yeah, he's a good man, too.

- I certainly don't want
to hurt his feelings.

Say, Ricky, do you know
where your airplane is now?

- Yes, ma'am.
It's right here.

Why?

- I just want to see it.

Let me look at it.

Certainly is interesting.

How's it work?

- We just wind it up
real tight and let it go.

- You mean like this?
- Yes, ma'am.

That's right.

[music playing]

Hey, be careful, Mom.

It might slip.

- Yes, it might.

You mean like this?

- Not unless you're trying
to break the window.

- I'm just practicing.

- Gee, don't you think
we'd better go outside?

- You pull it back like this?

Whoop.

- Wow, that was
pretty close, Mom.

You almost broke
the window again.

- Yeah, I wish I had your luck.

- It didn't break, did it?

- Nope.

Didn't even dent it.

- Didn't even dent
my airplane either.

Just demolished it.

- Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Ricky.

- That's OK, Mom.

- I can't understand why
the glass didn't break.

[door knocks]

Oh, Mr. Williams.

Come on in.

- I'm sorry to bother
you again, Mrs. Nelson,

but I believe I left my
glass cutter here someplace.

Oh, yes.

Right here it is.

Much obliged.
- Say, Mr. Williams?

- Yes?

- You know, the
funniest thing happened.

Ricky's airplane crashed
into that glass again,

and it didn't even break.

- Well, I'm not
surprised at that.

This is our new
unbreakable glass.

- Unbreakable?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Well, that explains
a lot of things.

Say, Mr. Williams, do you have
time to do another job for me?

- Oh, sure.
Sure.

Yeah.

- No questions asked?

- Well, you're paying for it.

- Well, would you take out this
new glass and replace it with

a nice old-fashioned
breakable kind?

- Like I said,
you're paying for it.

- Can you do it right now?

- Oh, sure.

[music playing]

- Will you please explain
this to me once more, Mom?

- Well, it's really
very simple, dear.

I'd rather have
another broken window

than hurt your
father's feelings.

So we'll just break the window
again, and he can fix it.

And then everybody'll be happy.

- Somehow, this sounds
too good to be true.

- Well, it may
sound destructive,

but it's certainly worth it.

Your father'll just
think that the window's

been broken again accidentally.

But you've both got to
promise not to tell.

- Oh, I won't tell him.

- Heck, I won't tell anybody.

Who would believe it, anyway?

- Boys, we have a job to do.

Who wants to volunteer
to break the window?

- I do.
- What about me?

I'm older than you are.
- So what?

I asked first.
- I don't care who breaks it.

Let's get it done.

What do you want
to break it with?

- How about my baseball?

- Yeah, that looks as if
it might do the trick.

- Lucky guy.

- OK, stand back, everybody.

[snare drum rolls]

You sure you want
me to do this now?

- Sure.

Go ahead.

[snare drum rolls]

- Well, go ahead.

Throw it.

- OK, stand back, David.

[snare drum rolls]

Gee, I'm willing,
but my arm isn't.

- Are you kidding?

Don't be such a dope.

All you have to do is throw it.

- OK, if you think it's
so easy, you try it.

- OK, stand back.

[snare drum rolls]

- Pretty frightening, isn't it?

- Maybe you better do it, Mom.

- Don't tell me both of you
guys have lost your nerve.

- This ever gets
around, we're ruined.

- Oh, Harriet, I just
want to apologize.

I'm afraid I acted pretty
childish about this glass being

fixed here.

- Well, no, dear, I understand
perfectly how you feel.

It was just that Mr.
Williams stopped by,

and so I thought he
might as well fix it.

- Well, yes, and he did
an amazing job, too.

In fact, that's the
reason I brought--

Come on in, Thorny.
[interposing voices]

- Hi, boys.

- Pardon me a second, would you?

That's the reason I
wanted Thorny to see this.

Isn't this a
wonderful job, Thorny?

- Yeah.

Say, that's very good.

- No question about it.

You just can't beat a
man at his own trade.

- Yep.

Just no question about it, Oz.
Well, I think I'll--

- No, no, wait a minute, Thorny.

I don't think you
fully appreciate this.

Do you realize
that no matter how

you hit this, no
matter how you slam it,

you can't possibly
break this glass?

- OK, Oz.

I believe you.

- Don't be so
stubborn, will you?

Yeah, I want to give you
a demonstration of this.

Oh, Dave, let me have
that baseball, will you?

- Well, Ozzie, maybe Thorny
has something else to do.

- This'll only take a minute.

Now, look.

This is a regulation
hard baseball.

I'll throw it
against this window,

and I'll guarantee you it
won't even faze the glass.

Shut the door a minute.

- Honest, Oz, I believe you.
I believe you.

- Will you please shut the door?

- Well, OK.
You don't have to push me.

I'll close it.

- Thorny, you did it again.

- Oz, that is terrific.

That's sure one on me.

Now you'll have
to sweep up the--

And you'll have to
put in the new--

Wait a minute, Oz.
I don't get this.

What's the joke?

- Well!

Oh, you wouldn't
understand, anyway.

- Gee, Oz, I guess
it's all my fault.

I don't know my own
strength lately.

Well, I think I better--

I'll sneak out the front door
again, if you don't mind.

- Harriet, are you sure Mr.
Williams put that glass in?

- Oh, well, certainly, dear.

We saw him when he did
it, didn't we, boys?

- Yes, ma'am.

- That's right, Pop.

- Well, he certainly
didn't do a very good job.

It's all I gotta say.

- No, I'm afraid
you're right, dear.

I should have had you do it.

Look, why don't you go down
the hardware store right now

and get that pane of glass back?

I'll bet you can replace
that before dinner.

- Well, I could certainly
do as good a job as he did.

That's for sure.
- Of course you could.

Why don't you go down and get
the pane of glass right now?

- Well, now I'll go
down right after dinner.

No sense doing any work
on an empty stomach.

Right after dinner.

Wait a minute now.

The stores aren't open tonight.

Well, let's see.

I'll go down the
beginning of the week,

and then I'll put
it in on Sunday.

Now wait a minute.

We're going to the
ballgame Sunday.

I'll do it a week from Sunday.

Unless it's too cold.

[music playing]

- Hello, Mr. Williams?

This is Mrs. Nelson.

[music playing]

- Harriet, I finished that
faucet in the kitchen.

What's next?

- I guess that's
about everything.

Let's see.

You repaired the hinge
on the closet door?

- Yeah.

- And you fixed the light
switch in the dining room?

- Yes.

- You re-glued those chairs?

- Yes, and I put a screen
in the closet window.

And I fixed the
lock on the garage.

- Oh, did you make the
shelves on the service porch?

- Yes.
Yes.

- Well, I guess it's
about everything.

I certainly
appreciate this, dear.

- Oh.

Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- Where are the boys?

- Oh, they've been
in bed a long time.

- Oh.

Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- Can I have my dinner now?

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to
you by Antizyme,

the new toothpaste that gives
you all-day immunity to tooth

decay acids.

[music playing]

- Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, always look to
Hotpoint for the finest first.

- Yes, sir.

That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always
say, little man?

- Always look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

[music playing]

- Mr. Williams was
played by Emmett Lim.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.

[music playing]