All language subtitles for The Andy Griffith Show S05E21 Barney Runs For Sheriff 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD (1)_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:06,074 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,380 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,682 With ronny howard... 4 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:18,252 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,257 Well, here he Goes again. 6 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:27,061 Every month, pull Up stakes like an Arab and off you go. 7 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:29,330 Barney, that was Three months ago. 8 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,832 I was thinking about Moving to raleigh. 9 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,234 Oh! That long. 10 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,568 Three months. 11 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,470 Well, you're practically Putting down roots here. 12 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,106 And I didn't Take the job. 13 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,807 And you're not Going to this time. 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,242 You can't. 15 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,743 So why get me All excited? 16 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,313 It's bad for My digestion Before lunch. 17 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,747 I wanted To talk to you 18 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,782 Because there's A very good chance 19 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,418 I might just Take this job. 20 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,520 I told ed crumbpacker I would. 21 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,288 Ed crumbpacker. Ed crumbpacker. 22 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,490 Some guy you go hunting with Twice a year. 23 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,426 We know one another very well. 24 00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,294 And I suppose that's More important 25 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,430 Than a lifetime Of friendship and teamwork 26 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,299 Fighting shoulder-to-shoulder Against organized crime! 27 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,268 You want to sit down. 28 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:13,441 Now, barney, ed crumbpacker Is with a very big company. 29 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,775 I know. I know. 30 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,111 It's one of them big Industrial giants. 31 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,214 Don't you know you're gonna Get swallowed up, andy? 32 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,515 No, I won't. 33 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,817 Now, they got a big Executive training program 34 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,853 And they-they want to Put me in that. 35 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,721 It'll mean a lot More money to me. 36 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,790 And they got offices All over the world. 37 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,826 Ed told me they might even Transfer me out of the country. 38 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,862 Maybe europe, Maybe even south america. 39 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,198 What about aunt bee and opie? 40 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,599 I'd take them with me. 41 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,269 You know they don't speak A word of south american. 42 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,704 I swear, andy. 43 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,375 Some guy calls you from St. Paul, minnesota 44 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,877 And you fall right Out of your tree. 45 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,580 And what about her? 46 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,749 Who's "Her"? 47 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,718 You know who's her. 48 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,490 Just sit down. 49 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,661 Now, barney, you know How things stand 50 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:08,929 Between helen and me 51 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,166 And if they keep going The way they have been 52 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,235 I expect I'd send for her. 53 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,869 Oh, you're gonna Send for her? 54 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,671 Yeah, I'm gonna Send for her. 55 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,740 You gonna send For me, too? 56 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,911 Or am I gonna stay Here and be sheriff? 57 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,650 Well, you ought to at least run. 58 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,355 Well, I can't think of anybody Who's more qualified than you 59 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,757 And I don't know of anybody else That's gonna file. 60 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,759 I was supposed To file for re-election 61 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,628 Sometime in the next Couple of days 62 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,196 And I'm not gonna file. 63 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,199 Oh... I don't know, andy. 64 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,902 Well, if you don't run, And nobody else files 65 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,638 Who's gonna be the law? 66 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,542 Town would be wide open, Wouldn't it? 67 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,344 Sure it would. 68 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,480 And everybody knows you And likes you and everything 69 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,683 And you've learned a lot In the last several years. 70 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,319 It'd mean A lot more money to you. 71 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,788 You might be able To move out of that room 72 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,824 And into a regular house Or something. 73 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,863 'course, you do What you want to. 74 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,581 What's that? 75 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,716 It's in the ring. 76 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,492 Oh, my. 77 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,760 That's another thing I'm worried about 78 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,896 If we should end up In south america. 79 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,498 The food... 80 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:53,634 They eat very strange things Down there. 81 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,935 What do they eat, paw? 82 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,537 Same things as we do. 83 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,406 Beans, meat, tomatoes... 84 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,040 And they have Special dishes. 85 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,611 Uh, they got a thing Called a tortilla. 86 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,046 You mean they eat Those great big spiders? 87 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,648 No. That's a tarantula. 88 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,850 Tortilla. Oh. 89 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,386 Well, I'm taking along Some canned goods 90 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,954 Just to be on the safe side. 91 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,290 I could always make Some heavy soup. 92 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:18,326 We're not going to the jungle. 93 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,893 I know. I know, andy. 94 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,063 I think it'll work out Real good for us. 95 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,465 [ phone rings ] 96 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,799 Mm. Well... 97 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,402 Don't touch that. 98 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,644 Hello. 99 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,713 St. Paul, minnesota? 100 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,048 Yeah. 101 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,918 Hello, ed. We was just Talking about you. 102 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,390 Uh-huh. 103 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,525 Well, you don't have To apologize, ed. 104 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:52,993 Aunt bee, do You think...? 105 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,528 Just a minute. 106 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,830 Job went To somebody's cousin, huh? 107 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:02,370 Well... Maybe it'll All be for the best. 108 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,873 I don't know whether I'd like it Too much out of mayberry. 109 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,741 Small town, you know? 110 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,076 Right. 111 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:11,779 Good-bye. 112 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,359 [ sighs ] 113 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,462 Ed crumbpacker. 114 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,364 I know. I heard. 115 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,434 Well... 116 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,369 I guess that's that. 117 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,770 What, paw? 118 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,941 Oh, nothing. We're gonna stay. 119 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,444 But they can't do that! They just did. 120 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,746 Well, that's a terrible thing To do to a man. 121 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,549 That's like pulling the rug Right out from under you. 122 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,752 And here you didn't file For re-election. 123 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,021 Well, That was my own idea. 124 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:57,591 Ed crumbpacker -- He said don't say anything 125 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,493 Till the job's official. 126 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,763 Well, no harm done. I'll just withdraw in Your favor, of course. 127 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,532 Oh, you can't. State law. 128 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,868 Well, now, what kind of a law Is that? 129 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,970 It's on the books. The ballot's been printed, 130 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,039 And you're the only one Running for sheriff. 131 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,807 Oh, this is just nonsense -- 132 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,677 Me running for sheriff With you still around. 133 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,447 Well... 134 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,014 Don't worry about it. 135 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,651 It's just One of those things. 136 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,986 Andy, this -- this leaves you Out of everything. 137 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,723 I mean, What about a job? 138 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,960 I don't know. 139 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,529 Something will come up. 140 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,532 Well, just don't you do anything Till you hear from me. 141 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,034 I'll think of something By the time we caucus. 142 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,440 All right, quiet, please. 143 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,641 Quiet, please! 144 00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,577 Let me have your attention, Please! 145 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,844 Now, as you all know, 146 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,179 Andy'll be here Any minute 147 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,014 So let's get One thing straight -- 148 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,916 I'm the spokesman For the delegation. 149 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,451 I do the talking. 150 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:58,719 Well, When he comes in, 151 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,987 Is it all right if I say, "Hello, andy"? 152 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,590 No. That just Gets you started, floyd. 153 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,559 I don't think you can be That dictatorial, barney. 154 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,596 Now, did we or did we not Agree that I...? 155 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,130 What if he says, "Hey, goober"? 156 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,732 Can't I say, "Hey, sheriff"? 157 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,767 'cause he might think I'm mad at him. 158 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,503 Can't we have A little compromise? 159 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,505 I think if Anybody has Any suggestions 160 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,206 They ought To be able To make them. 161 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,741 [ all talking ] 162 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,109 All right. Hold everything! 163 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,044 Now, if anybody here... 164 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,979 No, thanks, aunt bee. 165 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,881 Well... 166 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,216 Now, if anybody here 167 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,785 Questions my ability As a spokesman 168 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,555 Then just let him or her Step up here 169 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,890 And take over As the case may be. 170 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,559 Okay, I'm The spokesman. 171 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:39,993 Spokesman about what? 172 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,095 Oh... Hi, andy. 173 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,599 What's, uh... What's happening? 174 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,034 Well, andy, this, uh... 175 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,604 This here's what you might Call a civic delegation. 176 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,607 As a matter of fact, That's just what it is-- 177 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,842 A civic delegation. 178 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,243 And I'm the spokesman. 179 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,812 Hello, andy. Oh, hi, floyd. 180 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,981 Hey, sheriff. Goober. 181 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,250 Oh, hi. Hi, everybody. 182 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,586 Why don't you sit down Right there, andy? 183 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,020 That's not his Favorite chair. 184 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,122 Why don't you sit here Next to helen? 185 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,124 What difference Does it make? 186 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,893 He hates that chair. 187 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,230 All right... 188 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,166 Now, the thing is, andy 189 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,802 That we, as a group Of concerned citizens 190 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,772 Have a proposal About the office of sheriff. 191 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:25,906 What we Want to do... 192 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,174 What we want to do 193 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,677 Is to start A write-in campaign 194 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,613 That will re-elect Andy taylor to office. 195 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,816 Well... That's -- that's Awfully nice 196 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,753 But barney here is the only Official candidate. 197 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,822 Oh, well, this was Barney's idea, andy. 198 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,123 We all feel... 199 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,293 We all feel... That a write-in campaign 200 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,563 Is the toughest kind Of a campaign to win. 201 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,933 It'll be a hard, uphill fight All the way. 202 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,602 You'll win Easy, sheriff. 203 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,803 Oh, easy. Easy. 204 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,038 Why, you'll Carry this town... 205 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,974 With me throwing all my support In your direction 206 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,576 I think we can make it. 207 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,912 All we need is for you To turn to us 208 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,747 And say, "Men, women..." 209 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,649 Whatever the case may be 210 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,150 "...Full steam ahead." 211 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,620 [ all clapping ] 212 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,622 Well, barney, that's A pretty big sacrifice 213 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,889 You're making there. 214 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,691 That's how barney Wants it, andy. 215 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:20,227 You'd do the same for me Any old time. 216 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,196 I'll even be Your campaign manager. 217 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,232 I, uh... 218 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,235 I appreciate your -- your Coming over here like this 219 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,238 And -- and if you want me to run As a write-in 220 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,240 I'll -- I'll be happy to do it. 221 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,842 Oh, wonderful. 222 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,109 All right, andy. 223 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,111 We have a million things To do, andy. 224 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,713 Everybody just be quiet. 225 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,114 Andy, will you please...? 226 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,983 Andy, why don't you...?! 227 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,652 Why don't you sit down?! 228 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,854 I told you he Hates that chair. 229 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,726 Oh, hello, boys. 230 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,194 Hello, floyd. 231 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,729 Want a sucker? 232 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,931 No, thanks, floyd. I don't want a sucker. 233 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,668 Now, floyd, I'm here to Talk about the election. 234 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,202 Now, as andy's Campaign manager 235 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,204 I hereby appoint you Precinct head 236 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,405 Of this entire block 237 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,407 From main to maple, Maple to elm 238 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,009 Elm to the fire hydrant. 239 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,277 Well, precinct head. 240 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,879 Well, thanks a lot, barn. 241 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,080 Yeah, okay. 242 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,082 Now, the keynote Of the whole campaign 243 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,950 Is gonna be -- Now get this -- 244 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,351 Win with taylor. 245 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,088 Win with taylor. Oh, that's good, isn't it? 246 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,823 Yeah. Oh, that's very catchy. 247 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,224 It's got a nice ring to it. 248 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,059 Floyd, what barney Wants you to do 249 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:29,062 Is just make sure that everybody Knows about the write-in. 250 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,098 Oh, andy, don't you worry. 251 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,233 I'm sure most folks Know about it. 252 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,102 No, floyd. In any write-in campaign 253 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,304 You got to have A voter education program. 254 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,307 We got to go on the radio, teach Folks how to spell taylor... 255 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,242 Uh, t-a-y-l-o-r. 256 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,979 Say, there are not many ways To spell taylor, you know. 257 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,380 But fife, now... 258 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,317 Now, fife... Oh, there's A lot of ways to spell fife. 259 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,819 There's p-h... 260 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,854 And there's f-f... 261 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,088 Win with taylor. 262 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,456 That's pretty good. 263 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,927 Well, floyd, barney's name's Already on the ballot. 264 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,195 You don't have to spell His name. 265 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:05,065 Oh. Well, you expecting To get any votes, barney? 266 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,167 Well, Certainly I'll get some. 267 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,936 Against andy It might not be easy. 268 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,772 Oh, barney's going to get A lot of votes, floyd. 269 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:15,809 Well, if there's any danger Of a trend, you let me know. 270 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,985 Now, goober, We know there's a lot of cars 271 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,720 Come in and out of here All day. 272 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:29,222 And if -- and if you -- And if you'd just mention 273 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,424 The write-in to them, We'd appreciate it. 274 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,326 Well, I mentioned it To some people already, 275 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,228 But most of them had already Heard about it. 276 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,864 I don't see no problem. 277 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,966 Well, what about the ones Who were gonna vote for me? 278 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,068 I didn't Run across none. 279 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,504 Oh. Here. Thank you, goober. 280 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,940 [ clears throat ] 281 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:50,744 Well, it looks like The campaign's going just great. 282 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:53,146 Yeah. Well, let's, uh... 283 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,815 Yeah. 284 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,886 Oh, barney! Hi! Hi, andy! 285 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,353 Oh, hi, thelma lou. Oh, hi, thel. 286 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,355 I've been working On your campaign, andy. 287 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,758 Why, thank you. Good. 288 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,193 Seems to be going Wonderfully. 289 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,961 Well... Well, look, thel, 290 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,998 Naturally we all want andy To win by a good margin. 291 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,499 Oh, don't worry. He will. 292 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,001 Even I'm voting for him. 293 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,969 Why, thank you, Thelma lou. 294 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:19,372 Well, I've got to run now. Good luck, sheriff. 295 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,109 I'll see you tonight, Barney. Yeah. 296 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,187 Hey, barn. Anj. 297 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,555 [ both laughing ] 298 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,190 You go ahead. No. You go ahead. 299 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,792 No. You go ahead. No. Go ahead. 300 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:43,330 Well, uh, anj, my Private polls indicate 301 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,532 A big swing In your direction. 302 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,967 Oh. 303 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,036 Well, that's, uh, That's probably because 304 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,238 You haven't been doing Any campaigning for yourself. 305 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,539 That could be part of it. 306 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,541 Oh, there's no question About that. 307 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,910 Well, anyway, I've, I've been thinking 308 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,112 That, uh... Well, in the interest 309 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,381 Of a democratic form Of government 310 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,317 I guess the people really Ought to have a choice 311 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,986 Of more than one candidate. 312 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,988 Oh, yeah, they should have A choice. 313 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,057 It's only a matter Of being fair to them. 314 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,458 Oh, yeah. I agree. 315 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,527 Actually, the way we've been Conducting this campaign 316 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,529 Is not really good For the community. 317 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,931 No, no. No, it's not. 318 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,934 And, uh, uh, well, You know what I think? 319 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,135 What? 320 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,037 I think that You ought to go out 321 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,106 And stir up some votes For yourself. 322 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,308 No. I mean make A real contest out of it. 323 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,576 Nothing like that 324 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,912 Because I'm a taylor man Right down the line. 325 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,180 I know that 326 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,982 But like we were just saying 327 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,250 It's not good For the community, you know? 328 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:40,988 And, you know, being sheriff 12 years the way I have 329 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,523 I must have rubbed Some fur the wrong way. 330 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,993 Well, andy, all I'm Talking about for me 331 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,862 Is just a... Just a... A token campaign. 332 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,398 Oh, listen, any way you Want to handle it's fine. 333 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,933 Well, just -- just a token. 334 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,401 Just anything's okay. 335 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,870 Well... 336 00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,006 Well, I... Better go. 337 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,207 Okay. 338 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,474 I'll see you. 339 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,943 [ laughing ] 340 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,632 Okay, fella, you're hired. 341 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,044 What do you mean 342 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,478 You don't think you Can put up my poster? 343 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,214 Oh, I never put up posters In my window, barney. 344 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,482 It spoils the decor. 345 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,085 A mud slide couldn't Spoil that decor. 346 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,188 Say, it looks like you smell Something, there, barney. 347 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,924 Was that what you wanted? Smelling something? 348 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,525 I'm not smelling anything. 349 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,195 Oh, I thought "Bloodhound of the law..." 350 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,264 "Sniffing out crime," you know. 351 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,531 No, nothing like that. 352 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,500 Oh, that would've been good, Though... 353 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,969 Very good. 354 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:04,371 How about a contribution To my campaign fund? 355 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,506 Oh, no. I couldn't Do that, barn. No. 356 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,508 Why not? Not ethical. 357 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,043 I'm voting for andy. 358 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,979 Look, floyd, Your smart merchant-- 359 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,281 A businessman-- No matter which way he votes 360 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,383 Is going to make A nominal contribution 361 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,251 To both sides... Insure himself. 362 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,619 You understand? 363 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,088 Oh, well... 364 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:24,057 Then, I'll give you A nominal contribution. 365 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,558 How much can I Put you down for? 366 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,960 Next time you come in 367 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,096 I'll give you a haircut For half price. 368 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,698 You're all heart, Floyd, you know that? 369 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,133 You're all heart. 370 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,157 Now, floyd, It's not gonna kill you 371 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,659 To put up one Of barney's posters, is it? 372 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,261 What if he Gets elected? 373 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,363 Well, that's not The point, floyd. 374 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,532 Well, that's true. That's true. 375 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,000 What is the point? 376 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,269 That barney, In spite of little things 377 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,538 Like getting carried away With himself 378 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,240 And going Off the deep end 379 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,276 Is, underneath, a very proud And sensitive person. 380 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,544 [ brakes squeak ] 381 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,312 Now here he comes. 382 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,713 Now, don't you say one word 383 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,016 About me asking you To put up that poster. 384 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,218 Oh, not a word. No, my lips Are sealed...Sealed. 385 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,619 Not a word. 386 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,325 Andy: Oh, uh, hi, barn. 387 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,594 [ floyd humming ] 388 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,596 [ clears throat ] 389 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,599 [ continues humming ] 390 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,201 Anything going on here? 391 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,303 I break up A little conversation? 392 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,338 Oh, no, There's nothing going on. 393 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,707 Right, floyd? No, no. 394 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,109 [ humming ] 395 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,743 A little campaign strategy, Maybe? 396 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,513 Like how To sink barney fife? 397 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,781 What are you Talking about? 398 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:57,217 You think I don't know What's been going on? 399 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,052 You think I don't know A conspiracy? 400 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,653 Now, wait a minute. 401 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,355 There he goes 402 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,357 Off the deep end again, andy, Just like you said. 403 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,592 Who said? Who said that? 404 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,260 My lips are sealed. 405 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,062 My good friend And worthy opponent? 406 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,563 Barney, all I said... 407 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,232 A little whispering campaign? 408 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,634 Blacking me out on the posters Wasn't enough? 409 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,070 I had nothing to do With those posters. 410 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,738 Floyd, did andy Say anything to you 411 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,340 About putting up my posters? 412 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,442 Yes. Yes, he did. 413 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,111 Floyd! 414 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,412 My lips are sealed. 415 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,180 Well, the whole thing's 416 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,582 Coming pretty clear now, Isn't it? 417 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,617 Barney... 418 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,252 Okay, I'm taking the one way 419 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,087 To break through The iron curtain 420 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,688 To bring my case to the people. 421 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,391 I'm challenging you To a free and public debate. 422 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,493 Well, what'll we debate about? 423 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,562 You think I've been walking Around here 424 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,397 For five years With my eyes shut? 425 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:47,500 Andy, you just show up, Because I'm blowing the lid off. 426 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,553 [ gavel pounding ] 427 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,789 Uh, good evening. 428 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,392 As you all know, We are gathered here 429 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,327 For the most important event 430 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,829 In the history Of mayberry politics. 431 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,566 Now, the only reason This isn't on tv 432 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,202 Is because we don't have A tv station. 433 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,570 [ laughs ] 434 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,872 [ stammering ] A tv station. 435 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,910 Well, so much For the lighter side. 436 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,479 Now, in this debate 437 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,382 Between sheriff taylor And deputy fife 438 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:38,351 We must remember To show no partiality. 439 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:41,488 We must be Completely open-minded 440 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:44,824 In spite of the fact that andy's The only man for the job. 441 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,395 So, now I call on barney fife To take the speaker's stand. 442 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,773 Floyd. 443 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,375 [ clears throat ] 444 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,944 Ladies and gentlemen... 445 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,648 I have here 76 documented cases 446 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:13,186 Of malfeasance In the sheriff's office. 447 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,454 [ murmuring ] 448 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,626 However, Due to the pressures of time 449 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,894 I will discuss only three. 450 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,963 What a disgraceful Tactic. 451 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,600 Malfeasance number one... 452 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:34,474 Traffic in this town Is completely out of control. 453 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,510 Jaywalking is rampant. 454 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,878 Fiddle-faddle! 455 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,481 Be quiet, aunt bee. 456 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,717 Malfeasance number two... 457 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:52,492 Your sheriff has kept up... Has n kept up with the times. 458 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:57,797 He has not properly Equipped his office 459 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,334 Like other Law-enforcement agencies 460 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,002 In this state have. 461 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,373 We have no tear gas... 462 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:10,443 We have no submachine guns... 463 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:13,280 And as for emergency equipment 464 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:16,816 Do you know What your sheriff carries 465 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,652 In the trunk of his squad car? 466 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,654 A shovel and a rake! 467 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,257 Ain't you got a jack? 468 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:27,660 Malfeasance number three... 469 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:31,698 Are you aware that Your sheriff 470 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:37,003 Who is responsible For protecting your lives 471 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,739 And your property 472 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,941 Carries no gun-- 473 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:46,012 No weapon Of any description-- 474 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:51,851 To enable him to discharge His duties properly? 475 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:57,857 I ask you to dwell On these things for a moment. 476 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:01,260 Is this good government?! 477 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,533 Thank you. 478 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,602 Andy, go on. 479 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,638 You've got To answer him. 480 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,673 I don't know What to say. 481 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,042 Call him A rabble-rouser! 482 00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:21,981 So, now let us hear From sheriff taylor. 483 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,016 [ murmuring ] 484 00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,888 Did you ever hear Of such a... 485 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,963 76 cases of malfeasance? 486 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,801 [ clearing throat ] 487 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,404 Uh... 488 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:48,641 Barney's, uh, barney's right About the, uh, traffic. 489 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,444 People do park In the wrong places 490 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:54,681 And cross the street In the wrong places 491 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:59,752 But it's-it's such a small town, And I don't... I don't believe 492 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:03,556 There's been an accident Uptown here in the... 493 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:05,458 In the last five years 494 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,027 And, uh... 495 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,397 It is true That we don't have 496 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,433 Any, uh, emergency equipment To speak of. 497 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,902 I mean, no tear gas Or machine guns 498 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,637 Or anything like that. 499 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,972 Doesn't seem to be A need for it. 500 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:23,776 And -- and it's true that I don't wear a gun very often 501 00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:26,045 But, uh... 502 00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:31,050 Uh, I always thought That we got along well enough 503 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,720 That that wasn't necessary. 504 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:36,623 Well, I, uh... 505 00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:37,890 I don't know. 506 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:41,394 I've been sheriff A-a long time and... 507 00:22:41,428 --> 00:22:45,898 You're either satisfied with me Or you're -- you're not 508 00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,636 And, uh, I guess We'll find out tomorrow. 509 00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:50,870 Thank you. 510 00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,056 Well, I, uh... 511 00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:14,026 I don't know about you folks, But, uh... 512 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,828 [ clears throat ] 513 00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:20,500 I was satisfied With mr. Taylor's answers 514 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:23,069 And, uh... 515 00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,037 Well... 516 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,873 I'm voting for andy. 517 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,207 [ applause ] 518 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,176 Nice work. 519 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:35,181 Thanks, barn. 520 00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:38,718 Barney... 521 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:43,556 Man on loudspeaker: Vote the people's choice, Barney fife for sheriff. 522 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:44,891 The man for the job. 523 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,158 Win with fife. 524 00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:49,195 I told that guy Just up until 9:00. 525 00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:59,739 Well, I guess I might as well Take this down. 526 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,608 [ clears throat ] 527 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,510 [ chuckles ] 528 00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:08,748 [ chuckles ] 529 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,983 Well...Good picture. 530 00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:12,919 [ both chuckle ] 531 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,854 Can I have that? 532 00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:16,523 Well, sure. 533 00:24:16,556 --> 00:24:20,259 Thanks. 534 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,162 You had 100 of these. What'd you do with them? 535 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:25,932 Well... [ clears throat ] 536 00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,568 ...They cost a lot of money, You know. 537 00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:30,603 Well, what'd you do With them? 538 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,171 Well, I... 539 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,674 Well, my room needed papering, Anyway. 540 00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:43,716 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 37922

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