All language subtitles for The Andy Griffith Show S04E30 Barney And Thelma Lou;Phhftt 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD (1)_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:13,214 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,383 With ronny howard... 4 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:18,186 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,727 Oh, barney, Look at that. 6 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,162 Isn't that smart? 7 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,598 That blue sofa And the green rug. 8 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,733 Blue and green -- You know, that's the latest. 9 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,303 Wouldn't you love to have A living room like that? 10 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,139 Well, it's all right For a store window. 11 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,707 I wouldn't have it In my house, though. 12 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,310 Furniture looks spindly. 13 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,213 Man would sit down on that, It'd probably crack up. 14 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,847 Might be all right For you, 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,649 But I'd be afraid To sit down on it. 16 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,584 Well, you don't weigh much more Than I do, barney. 17 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:53,821 Well, It's the feeling of it. 18 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,390 I mean, A man likes something solid. 19 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,791 Like that chair there. 20 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,527 Now, that -- That leather chair. 21 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,861 Now, that looks All right. 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,564 Wouldn't mind having stuff Like that. 23 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:07,601 Oh, it's nice, But it's so masculine. 24 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,404 Be all right For your den. 25 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,141 My den, yeah. [ chuckles ] 26 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,276 You know, I got Pretty definite ideas 27 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,711 Of how I want that Fixed up. 28 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,280 I want to have it 29 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:23,717 So it smells of real leather And pipe tobacco, 30 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,586 Good books. 31 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,388 Maybe a dog. 32 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,190 You want it To smell of a dog? 33 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:33,161 No, I mean, I want a dog there You know, lying there! 34 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,429 I want to have a place To come back to 35 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:40,301 Where I can just put my feet up, Light my pipe. 36 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,303 'cause, you know, sometimes When I come home from work, 37 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,604 I'm just completely shot. 38 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,173 My job, you know, 39 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:48,376 Has a lot of nerve-racking Business to it. 40 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,611 So I want to come back To a place 41 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,813 Where I can Just close the door, 42 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,548 Be in a world of my own. 43 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,385 Nobody else. 44 00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:01,622 No offense, thelma lou, But not even you. 45 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,225 Oh, that's all right, Barney. 46 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:07,428 I won't bother you When you're in your den. 47 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,299 'course I-I would like The living room fixed up nice 48 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,633 For when I have The ladies in. 49 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,936 No, that's okay, But no ladies in my den. 50 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,771 Oh, no, barney, no. 51 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,775 Well, you just remember that, And we'll get along fine. 52 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,749 [ chuckles ] 53 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,384 Well, look at us! 54 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,586 You -- you'd think We were about ready 55 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,388 To set up Housekeeping tomorrow! 56 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:37,625 Yeah, from the way We're talking. 57 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,461 'course, you know, Th-that's out of the question. 58 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,830 I mean, uh... 59 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,234 Well, like we've been saying For a long time, 60 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,203 Marriage isn't something That you just leap into. 61 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:52,473 I mean... I certainly hope you don't think I'm pressuring you. 62 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,508 Oh, heck, no! No, no. 63 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,910 I-I've known you long enough To know better than that. 64 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,446 [ chuckles ] 65 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,614 And besides, I-I'm not The kind of a guy 66 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,716 Th-that can be pressured. 67 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,518 I know. 68 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,891 But if, after we did All this thinking, 69 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,961 We did decide to... 70 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,630 You know, and... 71 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,300 If we got this house, 72 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:23,637 And if we had a den, 73 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,006 There'd be no ladies in it, Right? 74 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,675 Right. 75 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,952 Hey, I meant to ask you, How'd you and thelma lou 76 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,488 Enjoy the movie Last night? 77 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:43,357 Well, I'll tell you, andy, They're losing me. 78 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,460 If hollywood can't come up With anything closer to reality 79 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,862 Than that thing last night, They got the last of my money. 80 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,698 No kidding. 81 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,433 I saw it last week And thought it was real good. 82 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,468 Oh, so farfetched. 83 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,838 I mean, here's this sweet, Lovely, delicate girl -- 84 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:02,376 Beautiful, talented, sings, Dances, plays the cello -- 85 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:05,012 And she falls For this big, sloppy goof. 86 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,747 Shirt open down to here. 87 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,582 Ain't had a haircut In six weeks. 88 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,351 How you gonna believe A thing like that? 89 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,752 I mean, It's just too farfetched. 90 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,787 Well, I don't know. 91 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,623 You can't tell About women. 92 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,359 Sometime they go For that shaggy type of guy. 93 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,761 Well, that don't jive With my experiences in life, 94 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:21,962 Not in a million years. 95 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,331 Hm. 96 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,565 How'd thelma lou like it? 97 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,999 Oh, she loved it. 98 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,735 Well, what do women know? 99 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,037 As far as I'm concerned, It was too farfetched. 100 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,305 [ telephone rings ] 101 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,473 I'll get it. 102 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,774 [ clears throat ] 103 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,809 Sheriff's office. 104 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,412 Oh, hello, thelma lou. [ chuckles ] 105 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,047 We was just talking About you. 106 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,649 Yeah, barney -- 107 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,385 No, it was Real complimentary. 108 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,853 You want to talk to him? 109 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,054 Okay. 110 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,492 Hi, thel. 111 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,727 What's on your mind? 112 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,829 Oh, gee. 113 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,566 Well, I'm afraid That's out of the question. 114 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,334 Well, andy and I Are up to our necks 115 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,735 In the monthly reports, 116 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,637 And besides that, The squad car's in the garage 117 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:04,805 Being fixed. What's the trouble? 118 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,407 Well, thelma lou's dentist 119 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,741 Wants to change her appointment To this morning. 120 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,710 She has to be in mount pilot At 10:30. 121 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:10,878 Why don't you get her A taxi? 122 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,946 Forget the taxi. 123 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,682 Mount pilot? That's 12 miles each way. 124 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:15,883 You know What that would cost? 125 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,385 Uh, nothing. 126 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,652 Andy was just talking about 127 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,454 How maybe We could get you there. 128 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,423 Hey, andy! Andy: hey, gomer. 129 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,824 Hey, barney. Hey, gomer. 130 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,493 Gomer just came in. 131 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,528 Hey, wait a minute. Gomer, how's the squad car? 132 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,729 Well, It ain't ready yet. 133 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,431 That's what I come over here To tell you. 134 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,433 Wally says it won't be ready Till this afternoon. 135 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,968 Uh-oh. There's another Tough break, thelma lou. 136 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,870 Gomer said -- Oh, you heard. 137 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,672 Have you got to go someplace, Barney? 138 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,441 You can use my pickup If you want to. 139 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,510 Hey, there's a idea, barn -- Take gomer's pickup. 140 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,877 I can spare you here A couple hours. 141 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,480 I can't drive that pickup. Nobody can except gomer. 142 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,015 You want me to drive you Someplace, barney? 143 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,050 I'd be glad to. Now, that's it. 144 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,520 Let gomer drive thelma lou To mount pilot. 145 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,754 Thelma lou, gomer says 146 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,656 He'd be glad to drive you Over there. 147 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,090 No, he don't mind. 148 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,126 Do you, gomer? Glad to do it! 149 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,595 He'd be glad to drive you Over there. 150 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:04,732 Okay. See you later, thel. 151 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,700 That's nice of you, Gomer. 152 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,436 Well... 153 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,638 Hey, barn? 154 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,072 Hmm? 155 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,142 Sure you don't want to go along To chaperone? 156 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,578 What? 157 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,113 Well, I mean, sending your girl On a long trip all alone 158 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,950 With a handsome fella Like gomer here, 159 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,185 You're liable To lose your girl. 160 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,987 I don't think so. 161 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,522 Well, you're welcome To ride along 162 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,757 If you want to, barney -- 163 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,459 I mean, if you are worried Or anything. 164 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:35,996 Gomer, believe me, I am not worried. 165 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,098 I mean, there's a lot Of things in this world 166 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,867 I might be worried about, 167 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,036 But losing thelma lou Is not one of them. 168 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,707 I got that little girl Right in my hip pocket. 169 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,543 Huh? That's a figure of speech, Gomer. 170 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911 Oh, I see. 171 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,780 Well, I better get rolling, Fellers. 172 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,615 I'll see you. 173 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,849 And don't worry, barney. 174 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,451 I'll take real good care Of thelma lou. 175 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,086 Yeah, you do that. 176 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,188 [ door closes ] 177 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,957 Cheek. 178 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,833 It was very nice of you To do this for me, gomer. 179 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,635 Aw, shoot, It's my pleasure. 180 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,570 If I wasn't here, I'd be under some car 181 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,871 Getting grease In my face. 182 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:22,510 Well, it was nice of you Anyway. 183 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,845 Boy, that barney's really A great guy, ain't he? 184 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,014 I mean, a feller In his position and all -- 185 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,917 Working for the city and wearing A beautiful uniform -- 186 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,486 But to talk to him, He's just like anybody else. 187 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,788 Ain't never too busy To pass the time of day. 188 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,790 Yes, barney is very nice. 189 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,528 When you two getting married, if You don't mind my asking? What? 190 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,129 Well, everybody knows You're gonna get married. 191 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,697 I hear it all the time. 192 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,633 People say, "Barney and thelma lou. 193 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,100 Barney And thelma lou." 194 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,902 Hardly ever hear one name Without the other. 195 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,971 But nobody knows When it's gonna come off. 196 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,673 Well... 197 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,874 I don't know What he's waiting for. 198 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,275 If he don't hurry up, 199 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,511 Somebody's gonna come along And steal you away, 200 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,646 You being so pretty And all. 201 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,614 Why, thank you, gomer. 202 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,282 'course barney Don't seem to be worried. 203 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,018 He says there are some things He's worried about, 204 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,587 But you ain't One of them. 205 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,656 Oh, really? Yes, ma'am. 206 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,791 Heard him just this morning In the courthouse 207 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,793 Saying how he had you In his hip pocket. 208 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,095 Barney said that -- 209 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,598 That he's got me In his hip pocket? Uh-huh. 210 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,700 That's a figure Of speech. 211 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,039 Hey, andy. Andy: hey, gomer. 212 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,875 Hey, barney. Barney: hey, gomer. 213 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,743 I brought The squad car back. 214 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,278 She's running Like a little ol' bird. 215 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,980 Here's the keys, andy. Oh, thanks, gomer. 216 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,115 Did you get thelma lou Over to mount pilot okay? 217 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,317 Oh, yes. No trouble at all, there. 218 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,086 Well, I sure appreciate You doing that. 219 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,621 Oh, it was my pleasure. 220 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,656 We really had A good time. Good. 221 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,825 Gee, barney, you really got One swell girl there. 222 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,193 She's so much fun. 223 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,328 We laughed and talked All the way to mount pilot. 224 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,230 And when we got there, She even bought me lunch. 225 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,833 She did? 226 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,868 Uh-huh. She bought you lunch? 227 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,937 I didn't want her to, But she insisted. 228 00:08:56,970 --> 00:09:00,941 Shoot, I had sausages and Three eggs and six flapjacks. 229 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,310 It must have set her back Over 70 cents. 230 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,912 No fooling. 231 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,780 And she's so easy To talk to. 232 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,849 Sometimes I have trouble Talking to girls. 233 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,184 But I can talk to thelma lou Just like she's a feller. 234 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,621 Well, I got to go. I'll see you later, fellers. 235 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,055 Andy: see you, gomer. 236 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,724 [ door opens, closes ] 237 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,261 What's the matter? 238 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,097 She bought him lunch. 239 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,900 What's wrong with that? 240 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,335 Well, nothing. 241 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,771 It's just that, in all the years I've known thelma lou, 242 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,272 She's never bought me Lunch. 243 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,241 We've always gone Dutch treat. 244 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,278 Well, like I say, 245 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,013 You can't tell About women. 246 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,716 Sometimes they go For that shaggy type of guy. 247 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,018 Gomer's pretty shaggy, You know. 248 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:48,221 I ever tell you You got a warped sense of humor? 249 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,757 I believe so. 250 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,024 Warped. 251 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,835 [ door closes ] 252 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,008 What are you doing here? 253 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,710 Tuesday night, Ain't it? 254 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,112 I thought you was supposed to be Over at thelma lou's. 255 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,781 Yeah. 256 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,149 You would think that, Wouldn't you? 257 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,085 But here I am. 258 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,853 What happened? 259 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,189 You got me. 260 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:27,728 I got all dressed up -- Tie, coat, the works -- 261 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,897 Called thelma lou to tell her I was on my way over, 262 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,398 And she acted All surprised! 263 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,233 Said she was busy tonight -- 264 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,202 Like it completely slipped Her mind 265 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,236 That it was tuesday night. 266 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,371 Hmm. Can you beat that? 267 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,374 Andy, you know as well as I do That thelma lou and I 268 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,744 Have always had a standing date On tuesday nights. 269 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,747 Every tuesday night For as long as I can remember, 270 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,248 We're sitting on that couch, 271 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,050 A pan of cashew fudge Between us, 272 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,153 Watching that doctor show On tv. 273 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,956 Now, all of a sudden, It slipped her mind. 274 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,692 Maybe she wasn't Feeling well. 275 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,994 Oh, she was feeling fine. She was humming! 276 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,864 Well, like I say, 277 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,232 Sometimes You can't figure women. 278 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,067 Yeah. You can say that again. 279 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,904 Well, I was just fixing to do A little night check 280 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,105 Up and down main street. 281 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,874 You want to come along? 282 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,209 Might as well. I got nothing else to do. 283 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,911 Come on. 284 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:20,714 Want some fudge? 285 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,149 You bought some, huh? 286 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,252 Well, a man's had fudge Every tuesday night for years, 287 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,021 You don't kick the habit Just like that. 288 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,128 You know, I was really Looking forward 289 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,296 To seeing That show tonight. 290 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,365 Hm. The doctor show? 291 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,267 Yeah. 292 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,170 You know, in this one, The young doctor breaks his arm 293 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,372 And has to perform An operation left-handed. 294 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,439 No kidding. 295 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,741 Yeah. 296 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,442 Real difficult operation, Too. 297 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,979 You know, A spleen or pancreas. 298 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,514 You know, down where things Are real close together. 299 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,149 Really walk The tightrope. 300 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,350 Yep. 301 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,919 Well, I wouldn't worry About it. 302 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,487 Everything will come out All right. 303 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,856 I mean, the show's Got to be on next week. 304 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,292 [ chuckling ] Well, yeah, I know that. 305 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,961 They put you through the wringer Just the same. 306 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,363 Gets me every time. 307 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,967 [ doorknob rattles ] 308 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,068 Andy! 309 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,807 Are my eyes Playing tricks on me? 310 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,844 That's thelma lou And gomer. 311 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,445 They're going in To see the movie! 312 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,147 Sure are. 313 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,349 I don't understand. 314 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,885 I thought you said she saw That movie with you last night. 315 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,253 She did. 316 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,088 Huh. 317 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,959 Maybe this time she's not gonna Be looking at the picture. 318 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,031 Yeah, well, It's all your fault. 319 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,298 You know that, Don't you, andy? 320 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,234 It's absolutely Your fault! 321 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,435 Barney, Will you stop it? 322 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,903 You're acting like a kid. 323 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,204 There's nothing serious Going on 324 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,439 Between gomer And thelma lou. 325 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,841 So they went To the movies. 326 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,442 Yeah, movies, well... 327 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,878 Far as that go, you've stepped Out a few times yourself. 328 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,880 How about juanita Over at the diner? 329 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,382 Well, that's different. How's that different? 330 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,884 Well, if you don't know How it's different, 331 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,185 I ain't gonna tell you. 332 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,586 You beat everything, barney. You know that? 333 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,121 You know What you ought to do. 334 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,456 Go see thelma lou. 335 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,858 Take her some flowers And go over there 336 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:11,959 And find out what's wrong. 337 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,126 Are you kidding?! 338 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,227 She ought to come to me With flowers! 339 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,462 I'm the stood-up party! 340 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,030 I didn't go to the movies With gomer! 341 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,198 She went to the movies With gomer! 342 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,467 Look, barney, It's a little thing now, 343 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,969 But if you let it go, 344 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,336 It's gonna grow All out of proportion. 345 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,172 Hi, andy. 346 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,573 Hey, gomer. 347 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,142 Hey, barney. 348 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,019 What's the matter With barney? 349 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,453 Well, gomer, 350 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,455 Barney's been bitten By the green-eyed monster. 351 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,991 He has? 352 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,558 Well, they got some stuff Down at the drugstore 353 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,027 That'll keep them Off of you. 354 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,561 One fell on me Just yesterday. 355 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,398 No, no, no, no. That's not what I mean. 356 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,633 Let me ask you something. 357 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,869 How'd you come to take Thelma lou 358 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,170 To the movies Last night? 359 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,538 Oh, she called me up And asked me. 360 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,240 Called me right down there At the filling station. 361 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,309 Oh, she did, huh? 362 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,611 Well, uh -- Well, listen. 363 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:08,081 When, uh -- when you drove her To mount pilot yesterday, 364 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,349 What did you talk about? 365 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,018 Oh, lots of things -- 366 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,420 Recaps and oil additives. 367 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,555 We talked some About barney. 368 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,090 What was said there? 369 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,459 Oh, I just told her How much he trusted her 370 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,962 And how he never did worry About her or anything. 371 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,097 Mm-hmm. What else? 372 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:27,500 And how he thought he had her In his hip pocket. 373 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,436 Oh, you told her that, Huh? 374 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,006 Oh, she liked that. I had to tell her twice. 375 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,243 Well, I think I'm beginning To get the picture now. 376 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,246 I believe thelma lou is playing A little game with barney, 377 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,513 Trying to make him Jealous. 378 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,382 With who, andy? 379 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,952 With you. Huh? 380 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,387 Yeah, that's why she asked you To the movies last night, 381 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,423 And that's why poor old barney's Feelings are hurt. 382 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,459 You don't mean it. 383 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,327 Well, my goodness. 384 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,695 Well, I never would have gone 385 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,630 If I thought It was gonna hurt barney. 386 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,666 Heck, I wouldn't do anything To hurt barney. 387 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,068 Well, of course You wouldn't. 388 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,502 I wouldn't want To worry him. 389 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,571 Folks like barney Ought not worry. 390 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,940 It don't matter so much With fat people, 391 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:10,143 But barney Ought not worry. 392 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,679 Well, he'll get over it. 393 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,181 So will she. 394 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,449 Just a little lovers' quarrel Is all. 395 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,617 He ought not worry. 396 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,586 Well, I'll tell you One thing -- 397 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,255 It's a good thing She picked on you for Her little scheme. 398 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,724 A thing like that could Backfire, you know. How do you mean? 399 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,127 Well, suppose she had this date With another fella. 400 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,662 This fella got to liking it, Got to liking her, 401 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,299 Wanted her to be His steady. 402 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:36,069 What would happen then? Well, I'd expect she'd drop Her little game pretty fast 403 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,437 And go running back To barney. 404 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,478 Hey, thelma lou. 405 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:49,016 Well, gomer, come on in. 406 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,454 I certainly was surprised To hear from you. 407 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,256 I-I didn't expect you To call. 408 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,592 Well, I didn't expect to, Neither. 409 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,594 Oh, I brung you these. 410 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,396 They're all hard centers. 411 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,232 I hope your teeth Will take 'em. 412 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,333 Thank you, gomer. 413 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,600 Won't you sit down? 414 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,202 Thank you. 415 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,482 Well, the weather 416 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,484 Certainly has been lovely Lately, hasn't it? 417 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,353 Hmm? 418 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,754 Oh, yeah, very nice. 419 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,426 Uh, thelma lou? 420 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,263 Would it be A lot of trouble 421 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,797 If I asked you For a cup of coffee? 422 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,400 Oh, no. No trouble at all. 423 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,801 Thank you. 424 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,303 Won't take me long. I'll be right back. 425 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,638 Don't hurry. 426 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,049 Hello, sarah? 427 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,118 Get me sheriff taylor. 428 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:01,088 [ telephone rings ] 429 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,623 Hello? Oh, hello, gomer. 430 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,792 I'm over at thelma lou's, But she ain't in the room. 431 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,494 Listen. You're where? 432 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,162 I want to try That you-know-what 433 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,497 You was talking about Today, 434 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,232 About her scheme Backfiring. 435 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,367 Well, that's what I'm fixing to Do, is backfire at her. 436 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,535 Gomer, wait -- 437 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,270 I ain't got much time, 438 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,273 But do you think it'd work If I said something like, 439 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,442 "Thelma lou, it seems That you feel about me 440 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,611 "The same as I do About you, 441 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,379 So I'd like you to go steady With me"? 442 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,581 Do you think if I said Something like that, 443 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,417 It'd scare her real good Like you said? 444 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,252 Gomer, listen, I don't think -- 445 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,820 Do you think That's enough backfire talk 446 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,622 To scare her right back Into barney's arms? 447 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:36,789 [ cups rattling ] 448 00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:37,790 [ gasps ] Oh, here she comes. 449 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,659 I got to hang up now. 450 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,467 Well, here we are. 451 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,837 Thelma lou? 452 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,805 Yes? 453 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,274 Uh... 454 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,308 Thelma lou... 455 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,310 Yes? 456 00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,180 Uh... 457 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,849 Thelma lou, it seems That you feel about me 458 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,884 The same as I feel About me. 459 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,486 I mean, uh -- 460 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,422 I mean that you feel The same about you 461 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,158 As I feel about me. 462 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,459 No, that ain't right. 463 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,694 Now, gomer, gomer, Just calm down now. 464 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,529 Take it easy, And don't be nervous. 465 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,265 Thelma lou, 466 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:23,503 It seems that you feel about me The same as, uh... 467 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,673 Do you mean that we feel The same about each other? 468 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,642 Gee, thelma lou, You're a big help. 469 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,490 Crawling -- That's what I'm doing. 470 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,358 I'm crawling. 471 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,834 [ gomer speaking indistinctly ] 472 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,677 ...So if you're not attached To anything, 473 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,379 And I'm not attached To anything, 474 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,914 Maybe we can get attached Together. 475 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:13,953 Thelma lou, I want you to be My steady. 476 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,855 Gomer, I'd love to. 477 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,927 No, no, wait! That ain't the way it goes! 478 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,462 It don't go like that! 479 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,431 [ doorbell buzzes ] 480 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,376 Barney, Is anything wrong? 481 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,578 Oh, no. Nothing's wrong. 482 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,680 Just that everything Has gone smash, that's all. 483 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,215 What are you Talking about? 484 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,916 We're all through, Thelma lou and me. 485 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,552 It's all shot. 486 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,819 It's all come to an end. 487 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,489 After all these years, Smash! 488 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,225 Hold it down a little. Y-you'll wake opie and aunt bee. 489 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,726 If only I hadn't seen them, Andy, but I did. 490 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,861 I seen them With my own eyes. 491 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,496 Well, what'd you see? 492 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,531 They were kissing, andy -- Hugging and kissing. 493 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,233 You couldn't have gotten A piece 494 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,368 Of tissue paper Between them. 495 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,535 They were that close. 496 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,471 They were kissing! Who was kissing? 497 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,505 Thelma lou and gomer. 498 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,573 Kissing? Kissing! 499 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:07,640 Shh! Kissing. 500 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,310 [ doorbell buzzes ] 501 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,844 [ sighs ] 502 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,280 Hey, gomer. 503 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,747 Andy. 504 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,716 Oh, barney, I didn't know You was gonna be here. 505 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,318 All right, come on. Just put them up. 506 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,819 Come on, come on. Put 'em up. Andy. 507 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,020 Come to me! 508 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,290 Barney, barney, Barney, barney! 509 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,691 Hold still, hold still, Hold still! 510 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,992 Andy, Something went wrong. 511 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,494 Something Went terrible wrong. 512 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,795 Gomer, I told you Not to do it. 513 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,497 Come on, come on! Put them up! 514 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,698 Barney, barney, barney, Barney, barney, stop that! 515 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,965 Stop that! Now, what happened? 516 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,402 I don't know, But it was just terrible. 517 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,703 Come on! It's all right. I'm in my civvies. 518 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,471 Come on, come on. Barney, barney, barney! 519 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,806 Now tell me What went wrong. Come on, come on. 520 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,274 Well, I can't think 521 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,475 With him trying get at me Like that. 522 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,710 Barney, will you -- Will you hold -- 523 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,278 Will you just hold still? Just hold still! 524 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:46,779 N-now, what happened? She kissed you, huh? 525 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,014 Yeah, that's right, Andy. 526 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,682 She kissed me Right flush on the jaw. 527 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,518 And you know what that means, Don't you? 528 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,353 There's only one thing I can do now. 529 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,887 Only one honorable thing. 530 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,856 If she kissed me like that, I got to marry her. 531 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,791 Huh?! Come on, put 'em up! 532 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,327 Come on, come to me. Come to me. 533 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,528 Barney, barney, Barney, barney! 534 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,296 One sock, andy. 535 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:04,297 Come on, stop that. 536 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,532 Stop that. Stop that. 537 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,600 This thing's Gone far enough. 538 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,935 We'll go over To thelma lou's. 539 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,470 I know Just how to do it. 540 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:11,971 We'll go to thelma lou's. Come on. 541 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,306 Come on. Want to put 'em up? 542 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,508 Come on. Put 'em up. 543 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,843 Marry him? 544 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,478 That's right. 545 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,380 See, gomer comes From a family 546 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,515 With a very strict code Of conduct. 547 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:25,485 And when a girl kisses a fella, Like you kissed gomer -- 548 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,687 Right flush on the jaw. Yeah. 549 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,656 It's marrying time, And no two ways about it. 550 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:32,325 But, andy, It was all a joke. 551 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,394 A joke? 552 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,363 You mean you were trifling With gomer? 553 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,465 I heard him talking to you On the phone, 554 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,099 And I was just trying To teach him a lesson. 555 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,869 Oh, I see, I see. 556 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,338 Did you hear that, gomer? It was a joke. 557 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,940 Is it a joke when a girl Kisses you like that? 558 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,876 No, sirree, It ain't no joke to me. 559 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:52,579 Well, what does it mean When a fella and a girl kiss? 560 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,080 Means they got to marry. 561 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,615 There you are. 562 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,417 Oh, no! 563 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,718 Shoot, my mama and daddy 564 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,788 Just shook hands On their deal. 565 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,924 'course now, Maybe, uh... 566 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:08,628 Maybe thelma lou could, uh -- Could take the kiss back. 567 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,430 What do you think about that, Thelma lou? 568 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,499 Think you might be able to Take the kiss back? 569 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,567 Well, I suppose I could. 570 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,803 How about it, gomer? 571 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,938 Think it might be all Right if thelma lou Took the kiss back? 572 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,673 Well... 573 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,745 Shazam! 574 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,013 If I didn't know What you was doing, 575 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:28,715 I'd think You was giving me another. 576 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:32,552 Now, then, there's a young fella Out in the squad car. 577 00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:33,886 Let's see if I can get him In here. 578 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,922 Oh, please, andy, Make him come in. 579 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,790 I'll do my best. 580 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:42,995 I'm sorry for fooling you The way I did, gomer. 581 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,631 Oh, that's all right, Thelma lou. 582 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,834 I'm just so relieved I don't have to marry you. Why? 583 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,002 Do you think it'd be so awful If you did marry me? 584 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,404 Oh, yes, ma'am. 585 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,039 For one thing, You're barney's girl, 586 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:54,874 And for another, That room I got 587 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,743 In the back Of the filling station 588 00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,578 Ain't hardly big enough For me. 589 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:08,788 Barney, I'm terribly sorry 590 00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:09,856 For all that's happened, 591 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,824 But please don't ever say 592 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,627 You got me In your hip pocket. 593 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:17,564 Let's just forget about it -- Pretend it didn't happen. 594 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,967 Let's go, gomer. 595 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,902 Can't we, barney? 596 00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:24,637 Let's go, Gomer. 597 00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:26,773 Please? Gomer! 598 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:29,141 I'm sure willing to make up If you are. 599 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,943 Ain't you gonna kiss her On the jaw, barney? 600 00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:32,779 Well, I am If you ever get out of here! 601 00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,881 Come on, gomer. He was Just standing there. 602 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,816 He wasn't Doing nothing. 603 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:41,888 Gomer, come on! Come on! 604 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:46,025 * ya, bum, ba-ba-bum 605 00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,595 Well, you seem in high spirits This morning. 606 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:49,729 Everything work out okay 607 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:50,830 Between You and thelma lou? 608 00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:52,131 Yeah. 609 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,566 It's all ironed out, Andy. 610 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,934 [ chuckles ] 611 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:57,136 We had a long talk and Ironed out all our problems. 612 00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:58,738 Good. I'm glad to hear it. 613 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,107 [ chuckles ] Yes, sir. 614 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,042 The big issue's Been settled. 615 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:05,945 As of last night, there's Gonna be no more trouble 616 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,980 Like we just went through. 617 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:10,983 Don't tell me you settled on That big important day. 618 00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:13,252 We sure did. 619 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,522 From now on, tuesday night's An unbreakable date, 620 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:16,856 And neither party can cancel 621 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,691 Without giving the other Three days' notice. 622 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:19,892 I thought For a minute there 623 00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:21,193 You'd settled on A wedding date. 624 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:23,162 Wedding? What do you mean, "Wedding"? 625 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:24,964 Like I told thelma lou, 626 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,699 Marry in haste And repent in leisure. 627 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,868 We've been in agreement About that for years. 628 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,670 [ scoffs ] Why rush? 629 00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,204 We got nothing but time. 630 00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:35,241 I'm not going anyplace. She's not going anyplace. 631 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:36,976 What am I worried about? 632 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,911 I got that little girl Right in my hip pocket. 633 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:49,622 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 45169

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.