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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,446
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,582
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:18,286
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:29,463
* oh, tell my darling mother
I'll be there *
6
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,332
Say, keep or throw
On this?
7
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,633
What is it?
8
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,102
Some old
Sheriff pinkley stuff.
9
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,536
No kiddin'.
10
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,538
Boy this stuff
Really goes back.
Yeah.
11
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,207
Looky there, 1931.
12
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,776
Record of arrest,
Name purcell branch.
13
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,346
Tyler branch's dad?
Yeah.
14
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,681
Misdemeanor charge
Of disturbing the peace,
15
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,183
"Rode down main street
16
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,585
With cutout open
On rio flying cloud."
17
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,820
[ both laugh ]
18
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,455
Crazy guy.
19
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,091
In those days, everybody
Thought they were lucky lindy.
20
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,326
Yeah.
21
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,161
Did you take over
From pinkley?
22
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,396
No. Fred paley took over
From pinkley.
23
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,697
Dale buckley took over
From paley,
24
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,399
And I took over
From buckley.
25
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,535
Well, who was freburger?
26
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,370
Sewer inspector.
27
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,339
Sewer inspector?
Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,174
I thought he was a sheriff
Or a state patrolman
29
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,808
Or something.
30
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,445
Oh, no, he just liked to wear
A fancy uniform and a badge.
31
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:18,579
Well, the old buzzard.
32
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,148
He arrested my father
For speeding.
33
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,715
[ chuckles ]
34
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,884
If your daddy had looked
A little closer at the badge,
35
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,319
He would have seen a little
Manhole cover
36
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,354
Right in the middle
Of the shield.
37
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,589
Well, of all the gall.
38
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,891
Of course, now there could have
Been extenuating circumstances.
39
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,626
Like what?
40
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,728
Like maybe your daddy
Was speeding through a sewer.
41
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,698
Speeding through a se--
[ laughs ]
42
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,699
You character.
43
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,201
[ both laugh ]
44
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,635
Speeding through a sewer.
Yeah.
45
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,870
[ both chuckle ]
46
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,210
Hey, here's somethin'
You might want to keep.
47
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,745
Custody receipt for
The first revolver
48
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,780
I issued you.
49
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,882
Looky there --
"August 1953."
50
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:58,152
10 years ago last month
Since I swore you in.
51
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,453
Yeah. Time has a way
52
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,290
Of moving right
Down the road, don't it?
53
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,493
Boy, it sure does.
[ chuckles ]
54
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,196
Hey, you know, we should
Have a party or something.
55
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,898
Oh, no.
No, I mean it.
56
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,666
Have a few folks in,
A little yellow sponge cake
57
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,202
With 10 candles on it.
58
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,704
Oh, no. Don't you
Worry about it.
59
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:19,373
You know how I feel
About fuss and falderal.
60
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:23,244
Lord knows the job itself
Is reward enough.
61
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,614
10 years. Hmm...
62
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,550
You know,
You ain't aged a lick?
63
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:32,220
Really?
Not the first lick.
64
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,954
Still as wiry as ever.
65
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,656
Got that same kid smile.
66
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,425
[ laughs ]
67
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,594
Well, yeah, I've heard that
Most of my life, I guess.
68
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:43,364
People do seem
To like my smile.
69
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,768
We've been through a lot
Together, you know that?
70
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,503
We sure have,
You son of a gun.
71
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,539
Son of a gun yourself!
72
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,342
No, no, I owe you
A lot, barn.
73
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,676
I really do.
74
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,411
We've been through
A lot together.
75
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,213
You've been
A fine deputy,
76
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,948
A true public servant.
77
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,483
You can feel right proud
Of yourself.
78
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,717
You know that?
79
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,854
Well, a man does
With what he's got.
80
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,423
You're not going
To cry, are you?
81
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:10,858
Oh, no.
82
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,526
I mean, you're
So emotional
83
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,994
And high-strung
And everything.
84
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,596
I'm fine. I'm fine.
85
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,964
[ door opens ]
Opie: hi, pa.
86
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,366
Oh, hi, ope.
87
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,600
Hi, barney.
88
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,369
Hi, ope.
89
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,839
[ door closes ]
90
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,875
What's the matter
With barney, pa?
91
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,977
Oh, he feels like
He's getting a cold,
92
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,679
And he doesn't want
You to catch it.
93
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,980
Oh.
94
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,265
Gomer! Hold it!
95
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,867
[ siren wailing ]
96
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,377
Hey, barn.
Well?
97
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,413
Oh? My turn to talk?
98
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:09,750
I'd like to hear some kind
Of an explanation.
99
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,752
Well, pick a subject
And I'll do my best.
100
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,387
You want me
To pick a subject?
101
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,489
I'll pick a subject
If that's what you want.
102
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,691
I'll pick one --
U-turns.
103
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,827
Oh, you mean
What I just done?
104
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,562
Yeah. Come on, explain.
105
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,331
Well, I think you're
Making a mistake, barn.
106
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,765
Oh?
107
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,368
You're talking to
An emergency vehicle.
108
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,070
And you're on an emergency
Mission, I suppose.
109
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,872
You could call it that.
110
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,974
Yeah, I seen you coming
Out of the post office.
111
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,509
Don't try and hide it.
112
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,010
Here's your emergency --
A postcard
113
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,313
And a copy
Of mechanics' monthly.
114
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,349
Now, wait a minute, barn.
115
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,384
You're not going to write
Me a ticket, are you?
116
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,685
I'd like you
To tell me why not.
117
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,687
Well,
I'm one of your friends.
118
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:51,525
Gomer, for 10 years, I have yet
To betray the public trust.
119
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,727
Now, I'd be
Some public servant
120
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,829
If I were to allow
Personal relationships
121
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,665
To stand in the way
Of the performance of my duty.
122
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,900
What are you getting at?
123
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,870
I'm giving you a ticket
For committing a 9-11.
124
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,971
Come on, barn.
125
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,906
Let me back up to
Where I started,
126
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,576
And that'll sort of
Undo that 9-11, won't it?
127
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,379
If I didn't think
You were a-kiddin',
128
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,481
I'd hit you
With a 9-12!
129
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,715
What's a 9-12?
130
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,585
"Insulting an officer's
Intelligence."
131
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,553
I was just trying
To right a wrong
132
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,622
That I don't think was
In the first place.
133
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,024
Come on, barn.
Don't give me a ticket.
134
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,559
We're pals.
135
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,696
Gomer, that simply
Does not enter into it.
136
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,465
Now, my oath stipulates
That I'm to uphold the law.
137
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,001
If my mother made a u-turn,
I'd give her a ticket.
138
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:38,839
There you are --
A $5 fine
139
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,107
Payable within one week.
140
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,575
Failure to do so
141
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,844
May result in imprisonment
And/or a $100 fine
142
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,747
Or both as the jurisdiction
Of the court may so decide.
143
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:47,848
You just go up...
144
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,383
What was that?!
145
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,485
You just go up an alley
And holler fish!
146
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:55,423
I said it, and I ain't
Taking it back neither.
147
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,725
Uh...
148
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,562
Gomer, try to look at it
From my side, will you?
149
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,431
You see,
You broke the law.
150
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,666
Well, shoot, I --
Now let me finish.
151
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,835
Now, it's from
Little misdemeanors
152
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,603
That major felonies grow,
153
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,440
And it's my duty --
It's anybody's duty --
154
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,008
To stop 'em
Before they get too far.
155
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,944
Now, the law
Must be upheld.
156
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,146
Now, if I --
As just plain john doe
157
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:22,550
An ordinary citizen --
Were to see you making a u-turn
158
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,785
I'd have to make
A citizen's arrest.
159
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,687
Gomer, you'll be
A better man
160
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,490
If you'll try to think
Of us all working together
161
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,492
For a common cause.
162
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,663
All right, everybody,
Break it up.
163
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,665
Let's go. Back to your homes
And places of business.
164
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,768
Come on, break it up.
Let's go.
165
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,447
Gomer:
Stop, barney, stop!
166
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,816
Citizen's arrest!
167
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:59,653
Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!
168
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,789
Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!
169
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,023
Citizen's arrest!
170
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,992
What are you
Yelling about?
171
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,094
Like you said,
You broke the law
172
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,696
By making
An illegal u-turn,
173
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,164
And I, hereby, as a citizen
Of the town of mayberry
174
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,534
And the united states
Of america, arrest you.
175
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,968
Crowd: hurray!
176
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,104
Now, just a minute!
What are you talking about?
177
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,840
You made a u-turn,
And as a law-abiding citizen
178
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,742
It's my duty
To call you on it.
179
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,243
You're supposed to be
Setting an example
180
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,212
For the rest of us.
181
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,515
Now, gomer, gomer,
Just a minute.
182
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,783
This little black
And white baby here
183
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,685
Is a real
Emergency vehicle.
184
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,787
Now, why don't you just
Stop trying to get even?
185
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,956
But you weren't
On no emergency call.
186
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,057
[ crowd shouting agreement ]
187
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,626
Just a minute!
188
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,193
You made a mistake,
Deputy.
189
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,029
Now write yourself
Out a ticket.
190
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,230
[ crowd murmuring agreement ]
191
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,998
You got to be kidding!
192
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,935
You hear that, folks?
There are two sets of laws --
193
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,838
One for the police and one
For the ordinary citizen.
194
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,841
[ all talking at once ]
195
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,543
What's going on here?
What's going on?
196
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,210
Oh, this boob here...
197
00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,280
Boob?! That's an insult
In the face of the public.
198
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,215
There ought to be a number law
That covers that.
199
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,618
You be still because
If you go back to --
200
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,020
Barney!
201
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,989
You can't insult people
In public like that.
202
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,658
You're supposed
To set an example.
203
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,960
That's what I said.
Now, what happened?
204
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,995
Oh, nutsy here
Come running after me
205
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,731
Screaming, "Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!"
206
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,166
What for?
207
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,868
He made an illegal u-turn
208
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,870
Whilst he wasn't
On no emergency.
209
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,104
[ crowd agreeing ]
210
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,739
Oh, he's just sore.
211
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,207
He's just sore
Because I gave him
212
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,676
A ticket
For the same thing.
213
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,177
Did you make a u-turn?
214
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,580
Well, yeah,
But th-the thing is...
215
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,181
Hold it. Hold it.
216
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,150
Hold it down.
Hold it down.
Hold it down.
217
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,953
This thing is getting blowed
Up way out of proportion.
218
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,722
I think you better
Write yourself a ticket.
219
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,924
Then we'll go in the courthouse
And settle it in private.
220
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,593
You're kidding.
221
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,995
I'm just trying to save us both
A lot of embarrassment.
222
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,763
You're kidding!
223
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,198
Man: well, you gonna make him
Write himself a ticket,
224
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,800
Or ain't ya?!
225
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,568
The more you fuss about it,
The bigger it's gettin'.
226
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,969
Andy, make him
Give hisself a ticket.
227
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,638
Stay out of this, gomer.
228
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,106
I made the arrest.
I'll get you for this.
229
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,741
Barney,
Write out the ticket.
230
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,175
Andy, you're kidding!
231
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,011
Barney, please write out
The ticket.
232
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,246
The folks expect it now.
233
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,315
Okay.
I'll write it out.
234
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,183
You're darn right
I'll write it out.
235
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,052
I'll write it out,
All right.
236
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,588
You make a fool out of me
Because some boob --
237
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,856
Boob?!
238
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,190
He's calling me
Names again , andy.
239
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,759
You said he wasn't
Supposed to...
240
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,628
Gomer, please stay
Out of this!
241
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,663
Write out the ticket,
Barney!
242
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,364
Write out the ticket!
243
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,767
Gomer, stay out of this.
244
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,670
Now, don't let your temper
Guide your thinking.
245
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,304
"Temper"?!
What do you mean "Temper"?!
246
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:32,906
I know what I'm doing!
247
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,174
How could you
Humiliate me
248
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,976
In front of the whole town
Like that?
249
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,978
Barney, it was diplomacy,
Public relations.
250
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,814
In the eyes of the people
Of mayberry, you're a big man.
251
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,716
Ha! I'm a boob --
That's what I am!
252
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,017
A boob!
253
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,687
Look, I'll give you the $5
Out of my own pocket
254
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,921
To pay the fine.
255
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,723
Now, that'll
Take care of it.
256
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,258
It's a closed issue.
Oh, you think
So, huh?
257
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,627
You think that'll
Close it, do you?
258
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,896
Just like that --
All fixed and done.
259
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,231
Well, let me fill you in,
Sheriff.
260
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,767
Barney, will you calm --
261
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,035
You are not gonna pay
My $5 for me!
262
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,771
I am not paying my $5
For me!
263
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,005
What are you gettin' at?
264
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,855
Prisoner incarcerated
And accounted for.
265
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,991
Barney!
266
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,694
Will you get
Out of there?
267
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,328
Don't put that key
Into the door.
268
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,930
I'm not coming out!
Are you cracking up?
269
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,832
The accused has
The choice of paying
270
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,067
A $5 fine or spending
Five days in jail.
271
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,335
I, the accused,
Choose the latter!
272
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,437
You're makin'
A fool of yourself.
273
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,273
Do you think so?
Do you really think so?
274
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,142
Honestly and truly,
Is that what you think?
275
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,677
Yes, that's what
I think!
276
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,345
Well, sheriff,
The laugh's on you!
277
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,716
When word gets out your deputy
And ex-best friend
278
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,684
Has been jailed
For a minor offense,
279
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:51,919
You'll be the fool!
280
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:54,021
Your mind's
Really made up, huh?
281
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,824
I wouldn't back down now
If my life depended on it!
282
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,236
Who looks foolish now,
Sheriff?
283
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,937
Smokin', are ya?
284
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,806
That's right,
I'm smokin'.
285
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,809
What's the matter,
Smokin' lamp out or somethin'?
286
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,011
What'd ya come back for --
Bed check?
287
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,313
Okay, take a look,
Screw.
288
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,382
No knives,
No guns, no saws.
289
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,850
Barney...
290
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,518
Satisfied?
Everything secure?
291
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,921
A-okay and out.
292
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,759
You gonna stay
Locked up
293
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,294
In that cell
All night, are ya?
294
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,929
Why, somewhere's else
You want me to go?
295
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,263
You want to put me
In solitary?
296
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:12,933
Maybe you'd like to transfer
Me to state prison?
297
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,439
Well, stay there
If you want to.
298
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,847
[ coughing ]
299
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,351
* I'm so sorry
I broke your heart, mother *
300
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,986
Otis, what are
You doin' here?
301
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,187
It's not even
Saturday night.
302
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,523
I know.
Special occasion.
303
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,159
It's my anniversary.
27 years.
304
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,460
What anniversary?
305
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,230
Well, 27 years ago,
I took my first drink,
306
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,432
And I've been in love
With it ever since.
307
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,801
Come on, otis.
308
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,538
Oh, another prisoner.
Hi, mate.
309
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,007
Hey...
310
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,943
It's barney.
311
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,879
Well, for a minute I thought
You were locked in a cell.
312
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,147
But you're out.
313
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,015
I'm the one
That's in, right?
314
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,551
What are you in for,
Pal?
315
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,353
Otis...
316
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,555
Wait a minute.
You're andy.
317
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,991
Ah, you ain't in,
And you ain't out.
318
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,994
Me? I ain't in,
And I ain't out.
319
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,929
I'm in
The twilight zone!
320
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,431
Otis, barney is in.
321
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,067
Huh?
Barney is in.
322
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,902
He's a prisoner.
He's locked in the cell.
323
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,236
Barney?
324
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,238
That's right.
I'm a prisoner.
325
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:29,576
Okay, you got that straight?
I'm in.
326
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,545
They caught you, hey?
Did you take a little bribe?
327
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,214
Otis...
328
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,916
What'd you get him for,
Rolling a prisoner?
329
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,918
Otis, barney's in
By his own choice.
330
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,519
Now, go on in your room
And go to sleep.
331
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,321
Well, you'll
Like it, pal.
332
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,056
You just keep
Your nose clean,
333
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:46,026
And maybe they'll let
You out on good behavior.
334
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,931
* oh, I'm sorry
335
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,133
* I broke your heart,
Mother *
336
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,035
Pipe down, otis!
Will you pipe down?!
337
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,204
What do you mean,
"Pipe down"?
338
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,505
Just what I said --
Knock it off!
339
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,940
Says who?!
340
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,141
Says me!
341
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,409
Yeah?!
Yeah!
342
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,610
You gonna make me?
Darn right I am!
343
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,478
You and who else?
Me, myself and I!
344
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,014
That's three people.
Yeah, that's right!
345
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,481
Yeah?
Yeah!
346
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,217
Hold it! Hold it!
347
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,887
Both of you be quiet.
348
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,991
* barney's in jail,
Barney's in jail *
349
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,459
* barney's in jail
350
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,660
Otis...
351
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,196
Hey, uh,
Barney, listen.
352
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,431
[ metal clanking ]
353
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,999
Know what that means?
354
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,035
It means we're
Busting out tonight.
355
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,003
[ laughs ]
356
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,471
Barney...
357
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,042
You know
What that means?
358
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,276
* barney's in jail
359
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:39,346
Nip it! Nip it!
Nip it! Nip it!
360
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,514
All right, all right,
All right.
361
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,616
Now, just quiet down,
Both of you, and go to sleep.
362
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,386
I don't wanna hear anymore
Fussing, you understand?
363
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,361
Good night.
364
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,536
* I'm sorry I broke
Your heart, mother *
365
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:07,007
You shut up, otis!
Will you just shut up?!
366
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,508
I can sing
If I want to.
367
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,709
No, you can't!
368
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,144
I can.
Can't!
369
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,345
Says who?
Says me!
370
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,414
You a cop?
What's it to ya?!
371
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,083
You ain't a cop.
You're a prisoner.
372
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,550
And I'm telling you
To shut up!
373
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,219
Gonna make me?
Darn right I am!
374
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,487
Yeah?
Yeah!
375
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,195
Mornin', barn.
376
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,333
Still here, are ya?
377
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,374
Barney, andy told
Me what happened,
378
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,642
And I'm terribly sorry,
379
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,644
But I brought you
Some breakfast.
380
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,180
Come on out and have
Some while it's hot.
381
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,681
No, thanks, aunt bee.
382
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,450
Well, you have
To have something.
383
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,020
No, I don't,
And he can't make me, neither.
384
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,521
Well, at least
You can have a --
385
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,156
I'd just like to see him
Make me eat breakfast.
386
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,690
I'd like to see him try.
387
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,060
[ sighs ]
388
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,263
Andy, see that
He eats something.
389
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,533
And give otis a cup
Of coffee when he wakes up.
390
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,503
[ sighs ]
391
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,554
Comin' out, are ya?
392
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,056
Yeah, I'm comin' out.
393
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,426
I'm comin' out
With this.
394
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,162
What's that?
395
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,463
Read it.
396
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,998
You're a big boy.
You can read.
397
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,701
That's right.
398
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,271
It's my resignation.
399
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,373
Signed, sealed,
And delivered.
400
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:49,809
All right.
401
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,612
It means I'm quittin',
You know.
402
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,414
That's my official
Resignation.
403
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,283
I know.
404
00:16:56,316 --> 00:17:00,053
It's my resignation,
And it's official.
405
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,491
I accept it.
406
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,061
Good.
407
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:12,432
I'll take it over to town
Council the first chance I get.
408
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:15,502
All right.
409
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,837
You do that.
410
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,373
Then they'll know.
411
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,808
That's my resignation,
You know!
412
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,443
Means I'm resigning.
413
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,779
I understand.
414
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,549
You just take that
Paper over there and...
415
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,384
You show it to 'em.
416
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,255
It's my resignation!
417
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,291
I'll take care of it.
418
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,419
Hey, gomer!
419
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,121
Hey, ope.
420
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,491
Can I use your air hose?
421
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,726
Help yourself.
Water and air is free.
422
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,895
We do make a charge
To gas, though.
423
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,397
I know.
424
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,199
You know how long
We'd be in this business
425
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,733
If we gave gas
Away free?
426
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:21,734
Not very long.
427
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,270
Say, where's your pa?
428
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,405
Haven't seen him
Around all day.
429
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,574
Barney neither,
For that matter.
430
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,376
Didn't you hear?
Barney quit.
431
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,144
Say what?
432
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,381
Barney quit. He ain't
A deputy no more.
He ain't?
433
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,883
It all started with that
Citizen's arrest you give him.
434
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,818
I heard
Pa tellin' aunt bee.
435
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,854
Barney locked hisself up in
Jail, and he wouldn't come out,
436
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:44,324
And pa couldn't get him
To eat his breakfast.
437
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,459
Then barney give pa
His resignation,
438
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760
And then
He went to sleep.
439
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,297
Huh?
That's what pa
Said to aunt bee.
440
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,200
"He made his bed.
Let him sleep."
441
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,601
Oh.
442
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,637
Well...Thanks
For the air, gomer.
443
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,772
You say barney quit.
He really quit?
444
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,874
Yep.
He's off pa's force.
445
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,410
I'll see you
Later, gomer.
446
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,677
See ya, ope!
447
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,579
Tell your aunt bee
Gomer says "Hey."
448
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,914
I will!
449
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,456
[ telephone ringing ]
450
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,763
[ groans ]
451
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,798
Hey, barney!
452
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,935
Telephone's ringing!
Ain't ya gonna answer it?
453
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,538
No.
454
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,739
[ ringing continues ]
455
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:36,243
All right. All right!
456
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:40,380
[ groaning ]
457
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:46,386
I don't know why they don't get
An answering service here.
458
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,821
Fellow can't even get
A good night's sleep...
459
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:52,759
Without some pest calling up
First thing in the morning.
460
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,461
All right! All right!
461
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,695
[ ringing continues ]
462
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,265
Hello.
Sheriff's office.
463
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,933
No, he ain't here.
This here's otis.
464
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,502
Huh?
465
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,671
You don't say.
466
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,906
I will. I will.
467
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,941
Yeah, right now.
468
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,510
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
469
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,245
Barney, guess what?
470
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,347
There's been a holdup
At wally's fillin' station!
471
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,316
Oh, I guess I better...
472
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,951
Oh, I guess I better...
473
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,487
Oh, no.
474
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,989
Help! Andy! Andy!
475
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,292
Help! Holdup!
476
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,993
Andy, help!
477
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:33,933
[ siren wailing ]
478
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:38,871
Gomer!
479
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,039
Gomer! Gomer!
480
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,808
What happened?
What'd they get?
481
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,643
Didn't barney
Come with ya?
482
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,379
No. What's the story?
How much did they get?
483
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,747
How many were there?
Who?
484
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,816
A call come through there
Was a holdup down here.
485
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,351
Otis told me.
486
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:52,952
Funny barney
Didn't come with you.
487
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,521
This was a job that
Called for teamwork.
488
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,789
Will you forget barney?
Now, what happened?
489
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:59,626
Well, seeing I was the one
That got you all apart,
490
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,662
I thought I'd try to get you
Back together again.
491
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,364
What are you
Talking about?
492
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,898
I faked it.
493
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,600
You what?!
494
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,436
I made believe
There was a holdup,
495
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,604
Hoping you and barney'd
Come together.
496
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,741
[ sighs ]
Gomer, you didn't.
497
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,043
I'm sorry
It didn't work.
498
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,412
Barney:
Andy! Andy!
499
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,813
Andy!
500
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,482
See, he did come.
501
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:23,983
I knew this was a job
That called for teamwork.
502
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,386
Sorry I'm late, andy.
I knew you'd need cover.
503
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,620
Where'd they go?
What's the scoop, gomer?
504
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,356
Did you get a look
At their faces?
505
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:30,723
Were they wearing
Rubber masks?
506
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,559
Prints!
We need prints!
507
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,394
Did they leave
Any prints?
508
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,762
What'd the crooks
Look like?
509
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,431
Gomer turned in
A false alarm.
510
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,799
What?
511
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:43,570
Gomer made it up.
There were no crooks.
512
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:48,007
And you think it's funny,
Do you?
513
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,811
Do you realize
You've committed a 785?
514
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,546
A false alarm?
515
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,114
Do you realize
The danger involved
516
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,983
In a prank like that?!
517
00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,085
I'm gonna throw
The book at you, gomer.
518
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,487
Huh?
That's right.
519
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,622
I'm hittin' you
With a 215...
520
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:06,459
A 923, and a 785.
521
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,461
Oh, barney, don't give me
No more tickets.
522
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,697
Don't start that
Over again.
523
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,133
All of these?
524
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,968
That's right.
All of these.
525
00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,870
Andy.
526
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,511
[ horn honks ]
527
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,812
Andy, come on.
528
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:29,482
[ engine turns over ]
529
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,121
Hey, barney, stop!
530
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,123
You're making a u-turn!
Citizen's arrest!
531
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,459
Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!
532
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:43,430
Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!
533
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,837
Andy?
534
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,974
Uh...I got something
I want to say to you.
535
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:57,777
I want you
To hear me out.
536
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:58,978
[ clears throat ]
537
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,814
Well, what I wanted
To say was...
538
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:03,616
[ clears throat ]
539
00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:05,151
Well, actually,
What I want to say is
540
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:09,155
That I realize I made
A dang fool of myself,
541
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:12,892
And I'm sorry.
542
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:16,763
Well, that's what
I wanted to say.
543
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,098
That's okay, barn.
544
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:24,471
Well, we better
Get back to work.
545
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:25,838
Hey, andy?
546
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,741
Uh, that letter of resignation
I wrote.
547
00:23:28,775 --> 00:23:30,076
What about it?
548
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:31,478
What are you gonna do
With it?
549
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,813
Oh. Oh, that.
550
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,115
Well, I'll tell ya, barn,
551
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:38,017
I thought I'd just...
552
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,952
File it in here
With the rest of them.
553
00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:41,588
Huh?
554
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:43,723
"January 21st,
555
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:47,193
"I bernard p. Fife do hereby
Tender my resignation."
556
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:49,896
"February 7th,
This is to advise
557
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,733
That I, bernard p. Fife,
Am hereby resigning"...
558
00:23:57,670 --> 00:24:00,740
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
38695
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