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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:13,047
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,216
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,186
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,665
How about lunch?
6
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:34,735
It's just 11:00.
7
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,404
I know, but I'm hungry.
8
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,206
Let's wait
A little while.
9
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,577
Hey, miss mattenite.
10
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,114
That ain't miss mattenite.
11
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,548
It is, too.
12
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:51,085
My goodness, she's fell off
A lot, ain't she?
13
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:52,853
Yeah, she lost
A lot of weight.
14
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,188
Doctor made her.
15
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,523
Yeah?
16
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,425
[ laughs ] Said her ankles
Was too skinny
17
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,460
To hold up
All that heft.
18
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:02,496
[ both laugh ]
19
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,665
Seems like right after
They get married,
20
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,634
They let themselves go,
Don't they?
21
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,735
Yeah.
22
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,439
What do you say --
Lunch?
23
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,706
In a little bit.
24
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:16,744
Hey, mrs. Devereaux.
25
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:20,348
Boy, that mrs. Devereaux
Sure is ugly, ain't she?
26
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,849
Barney,
She can't help it.
27
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,817
She's just ugly
As homemade soap.
28
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,355
You think charlie devereaux
Is so good-looking?
29
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,123
Well, he's no prize.
30
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,491
But I don't know.
31
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:33,161
In a man, you don't seem
To notice it so much.
32
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,131
Lunch?
33
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,366
Not now.
34
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,436
Hey, cece.
35
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,306
Well, that cecil gurney
Beats everything,
36
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,307
You know that.
37
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,408
Yeah?
38
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,842
He has two sets
Of false teeth,
39
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,311
And he won't admit it.
40
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,445
Cece?
Yeah?
41
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,813
He ain't got false teeth.
42
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,215
No? You just offer him
43
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,749
The first bite
Out of an apple
44
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,418
And watch him
Turn you down.
45
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,586
Oh, come on.
46
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,321
Yeah... Let's get
Out of here.
47
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:01,355
What's the matter?
48
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,391
Here comes
That viola slatt.
49
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,625
Well, what about it?
50
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,760
Oh, she's the biggest gossip
In this town.
51
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,262
She'll yak your head off.
52
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,397
Once she gets started,
53
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,898
You never hear the end of it.
54
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,704
[ indistinct shouting ]
55
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:26,180
All right, boys,
Break it up, break it up!
56
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,382
Back off, come on,
Get out of there!
57
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,650
[ indistinct shouting ]
58
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,752
Break it up, boys,
Break it up!
59
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,821
All right,
Wait a minute!
60
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,289
Ernest t. Bass?
61
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,525
One and the same,
Bass is the name.
62
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,826
[ cackling ]
63
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,961
[ shouting resumes ]
64
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,530
What's
Goin' on?
65
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,432
I'm about to
Find out, sergeant.
66
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,567
He tried to
Get in front
Of the line!
67
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,969
He came up here
Like he owned
The sidewalk!
68
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,838
All right, boys,
Get back in line
69
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,206
I'll take care of it.
70
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,543
[ indistinct shouting ]
71
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,844
Behave yourselves!
72
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,612
Ernest t., this is
A soldierin' line.
73
00:02:58,646 --> 00:02:59,780
What are you
Doing here?
74
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,649
I'm a-joinin' up.
75
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,553
Forward march!
Left, face!
76
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,887
Now clean your gun!
77
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,622
Jump in the truck!
78
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,724
Hut-two, hut-two...
How's that sound?
79
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,427
It sounds like
You're makin' trouble!
80
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,529
The army's no place
For you, ernest t.
81
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,531
Why don't you just go on home?
82
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,732
Go on home?
83
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,801
Sergeant: now wait a minute,
Sheriff.
84
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:21,969
Don't send him home.
85
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,437
He came down here
To join up.
86
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:24,938
We'll take
Any able-bodied man.
87
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,007
Yup, that's me,
"Able-bodied man."
88
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,477
It'd be to their honor
To get a man
89
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,646
What could chin hisself 20 times
With just one hand;
90
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,882
What could dip into
A barrel of water
91
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,451
And pick out
A watermelon with his jaws;
92
00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:40,254
And what could chuck
A full-grown sick jackass
93
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:43,657
Across his shoulders and tote
Him five miles to the doctor.
94
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,860
All right, fella,
Wait your turn.
95
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,633
Uh, sergeant, could I speak
With you for a minute?
96
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,535
Uh, I know it's
Important for you
97
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,304
To get as many boys
As you can,
98
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,771
But I really believe
99
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,740
You'd be makin' a
Mistake if you take this one.
100
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:00,874
He's curious.
101
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,411
He's a troublemaker,
Is what he is.
102
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,878
He's a nut.
103
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,451
A while back, he was
Goin' with a girl
104
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,785
Up here in the mountains.
105
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,054
She married somebody else
And he got mad at him
106
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,056
And busted every window
In the house.
107
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,691
He even kidnapped
The girl.
108
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,760
Well, he's a wrong one.
He's a nut.
109
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,795
Sounds like he's got
A lot of spirit.
110
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,297
That's what we want.
111
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,999
Just tryin' to save you
Some trouble, is all.
112
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,835
Thanks, sheriff,
But we know
113
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,703
How to handle guys
Like this.
114
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,271
Okay.
115
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,478
Lunch?
116
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,317
Hey, sheriff?
117
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,953
I'm gonna get me one of
Them greeny uniforms,
118
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,488
Lot of brass buttons,
119
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,391
And one of them hats with
A big badge in front.
120
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,592
[ cackling ]
121
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,861
* and you can't
Stop me *
122
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,529
Nyah!
123
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,965
All right, ernest t.
124
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,334
Hey! Hey!
125
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,336
Hut, march, hut!
126
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,071
[ hollering ]
127
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,874
[ indistinct shouting ]
128
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,050
Once again,
Inhale.
129
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,321
Exhale.
130
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,024
Respiratory okay.
131
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,726
Turn around, please.
132
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,060
That right shoulder's
133
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,497
A little higher
Than the left one.
134
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,365
I can fix that
For you, doc.
135
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,733
Hey, hey!
136
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,901
Come on!
137
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,035
Settle down!
138
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,404
Come on,
Settle down.
139
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,138
What are you trying
To do, bass?
140
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,507
Just tryin' to hep.
141
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,542
Can't do enough for
Our boys in khaki.
142
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,677
I'll take care of
The medical problems,
143
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,479
If you don't mind.
144
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,547
Next man.
145
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,781
Ernest t. Bass.
146
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,483
Speakin'.
147
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,651
Open, please.
148
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,052
Uh, hold on there,
Mr. Medico.
149
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,987
You plannin' to prod
Inside my mouth
150
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,155
With that there stick?
151
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,457
That's right.
152
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,658
[ clears throat ]
153
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,527
All right,
You are welcome in there
154
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,128
But you leave
Your stick outside.
155
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,930
Do as you're told, bass,
And open up.
156
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,466
All right, but it ain't
Goin' to be as nice
157
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,968
As it would be if I had
My gold tooth in there.
158
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,570
Oh, you've lost
Your tooth?
159
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,071
No, no, ain't bought it yet.
160
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,640
Savin' up for it, though.
161
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,008
Bass, shut your mouth
And open it.
162
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,879
Open your mouth!
163
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,516
Mr. Bass, you have
All of your teeth.
164
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,018
Where were you planning
To put the gold one?
165
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,455
Right here in front,
See, these three here.
166
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,691
I was goin' to knock them out,
Put the gold one in the center
167
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,159
Leavin' space on each side.
168
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,463
That'd stand out that way,
Especially when I'm dancin'.
169
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,868
I show my teeth
When I'm dancin'.
170
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,136
All right, bass,
That's enough!
171
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,439
Now, hold it down,
You guys.
172
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,808
You stand here and let
The doctor examine you.
173
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,911
Come on, you fellas,
Break it up!
174
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,145
Say "Ah."
175
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,814
Ah.
176
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,816
Could you stretch
That out a bit?
177
00:06:55,849 --> 00:07:00,454
Ahhh...
178
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,527
Ahhh...
179
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,996
Uh, no, that was
Just for the throat.
180
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,099
Oh, what do you want me
To say for the ears?
181
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,634
Hush.
182
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,805
Hu...
183
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,473
...Sh.
184
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,944
Just stand there quietly,
Mr. Bass.
185
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,012
[ giggles ]
186
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,583
Uh, if you'll repeat
The numbers you hear
187
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,718
After me, please.
188
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:31,919
Got that?
189
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,053
Oh, I got it.
190
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,254
[ whispering ]:
77.
191
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,589
[ whispering ]:
77.
192
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,090
42.
42.
193
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,125
93.
194
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,126
93.
195
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,928
28.
28.
196
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,062
32.
197
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:48,802
32, 33, 34, 35, 36,
37, 39, 50!
198
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,170
That's fine.
199
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,106
Bass! You're supposed
To be standing over there.
200
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:56,009
If I'd have did that,
I might not have heard him.
201
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,746
[ laughter ]
202
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,080
Next man.
203
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,650
Boy, was that sheriff
Ever right about you.
204
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,817
Okay, buddy, out!
205
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,018
What do you
Mean, out?
206
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,987
Out. We're turning you down.
207
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,022
I ain't in?
208
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,862
I ain't... I ain't
Gonna get my uniform?
209
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,997
That's right.
210
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,599
Oh, you're gonna
Be sorry.
211
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,900
Oh, I'm gonna get you.
212
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,201
I'm gonna get you all.
213
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,103
I'm gonna get you,
You and you!
214
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,204
I'm gonna get you!
215
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,305
I'm gonna get you!
216
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,107
I'm gonna get
Your stick, too!
217
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,709
I'll get every one
Of y...
218
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,278
And I'm gonna get
That sheriff, too.
219
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,013
Oh, I'll get you all!
220
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,315
You're gonna be sorry!
I'll get you.
221
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,851
Oh, I'll get you,
Get you, get you!
222
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,287
I don't know how they
Do it for 80 cents.
223
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,556
I don't, either,
I'll tell you.
224
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:46,093
Three vienna sausages,
Heavy on the tomato puree,
225
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,730
Slice of bread and butter
On a paper disk.
226
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,600
And more than an ample
Portion of succotash.
227
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,068
Don't leave out
The succotash.
228
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,070
When you get
A good meal like that
229
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,872
And as good a service
As olive gives,
230
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,041
You don't mind leaving
A generous tip.
231
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,711
Did you leave a tip?
232
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,245
Well, yeah, a quarter.
233
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,279
I did, too.
234
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,347
A quarter?
235
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,816
Yeah.
236
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,784
Well, didn't you see me
Put a quarter down?
237
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:14,087
That was supposed to be
For the both of us.
238
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,289
I'll be dogged.
239
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,358
Oh, what the heck,
It's just a quarter.
240
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,294
Well, no, andy, that's
Just throwing money away.
241
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,597
Look, I'll just run
Back over there,
242
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,834
Put my hat down on
One of the quarters
And get it back.
243
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,368
Barney,
That's not necessary.
244
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,038
Poor old olive's a widow
With four children.
245
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,740
She can use it.
246
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,308
Oh, yeah,
I forgot about that.
247
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,277
Bless her heart.
248
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,682
Let's just let her
Keep it.
249
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,120
You're all heart,
You know that, barn?
250
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,092
Hi, sergeant.
251
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,226
Sheriff.
252
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,361
What's the matter?
253
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,363
Ernest t. Bass
Is what's the matter.
254
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,865
What did he do?
255
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,233
We turned him down
And he busted a window.
256
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,869
I told you.
257
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,371
Said he'd get even
With all of us,
Especially you.
258
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,639
[ groans ]
259
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,940
I'd like
To stick around,
260
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,642
But I'm due up
At mount pilot.
261
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,844
Looks like he's
Your problem, sheriff.
262
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:11,879
Thanks.
263
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,080
Don't mention it.
264
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,248
We'll stay on
A number two amber alert.
265
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,283
What's that?
266
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,118
One of us awake
At all times.
267
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,619
[ glass shattering ]
268
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,693
Let's get after him!
269
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,894
Wait a minute!
270
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,731
"It's all your fault
271
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,299
"I didn't get my uniform,
Sheriff.
272
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,667
"I'm goin' to break
273
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,335
"Every window in
The state to get even.
274
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,706
Ernest t. Bass,
Ex-serviceman."
275
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,407
[ ernest cackling ]
276
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,775
Come on!
277
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,312
[ ernest cackling
Madly ]
278
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,128
[ cackling continues ]
279
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,770
Look at him go.
280
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,406
He's a strange one.
281
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,042
He's a wild man.
282
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,945
He's a nut.
283
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,915
If you ask me,
284
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,851
We're going about
This thing all wrong--
285
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,319
Waitin' for ernest t. Bass
To do something!
286
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,721
Relax, barney.
287
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,256
Relax, nothin'!
288
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,860
You never can tell
What that nut might do.
289
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,295
We ought to throw a dragnet
Over the whole town.
290
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,997
It's not necessary,
Barney.
291
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,867
We ought to go after him
With bloodhounds and tear gas.
292
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,969
You're talking about
A silly little runt
293
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,237
With a rock in his hand,
Not john dillinger.
294
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,806
Now, will you relax?
295
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,408
Andy, I'm a man
With police adrenaline.
296
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,943
Call it
What you will
297
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,979
But the inner man
Is ever ready,
298
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,381
And there's nothing
I can do about it.
299
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,884
Darn, darn!
300
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,251
He thinks he can
Shake us up
301
00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,787
By not doing
Anything, huh?
302
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,521
If he thinks he's
Gonna get on our nerves
303
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,457
With all this suspense,
He's got another think comin'.
304
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,293
Well, try not
To get shook up.
305
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,995
I ain't shook up.
306
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,998
[ telephone rings ]
307
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,133
Courthouse,
Sheriff taylor.
308
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,268
Yeah, wait a minute,
Wait a minute.
309
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,370
Right.
310
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,405
Okay.
311
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,840
Thanks, merlin.
312
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:20,874
Well?
313
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,409
Merlin gracey
Saw a fella
314
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,211
Break a streetlight
In front of miss mingus' house.
315
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,412
Not so fast.
316
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,347
But we can nail him
If we hustle.
317
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,883
I doubt it. Ernest t. Ain't
About to break a streetlight,
318
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,518
Then stand around
Looking for his rock.
319
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,353
Let's wait till
A few more calls come in
320
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,188
And find out what
Direction he's headed.
321
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,424
[ telephone rings ]
322
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,026
Sheriff's office.
323
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,262
Right, hannah lou,
We'll get him.
324
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,563
Just broke two panels
325
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,532
Out of hannah lou smith's
Greenhouse.
326
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,234
He's coming this way.
327
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,236
We'll wait for him
At the corner of pine and main.
328
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,071
[ telephone rings ]
329
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,473
Sheriff's office.
330
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,975
Uh-huh.
331
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,410
Okay. Right, richie.
332
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,813
He's coming closer --
He just broke the window
333
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,481
Of the rich ferrer's
Hardware store.
334
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,917
You go out the front,
I'll go around the back.
335
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,086
[ cackling ]
336
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,188
Come on, deputy,
Come on, deputy!
337
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:11,158
If I'd seen you was comin',
I'd have knowed what to do
338
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,961
I'd have ris both arms
And I'd have wove at you.
339
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,532
You ain't very fast
On your feet, is you?
340
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,169
All right,
You stand still,
Ernest t. Bass!
341
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,405
If a duck stands still,
You can catch him by the bill.
342
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,407
[ quacking ]
343
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,310
In the name of the law,
I order you to surrender.
344
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,544
Surrender?
345
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:35,315
[ cackling ]
346
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,086
That's it, I'll tell you
What I'll do, deputy.
347
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,520
I'll give you a chance
To catch me.
348
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,155
Come on, come on,
Come on!
349
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,024
Come on, deputy,
Come on...
350
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:47,460
[ indistinct shouting ]
351
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,205
Let me out! You got no business
Puttin' me in...
352
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,074
You might as well
Make the best of it.
353
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,110
Be quiet!
354
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,145
You might as well
Make the best of it.
355
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,513
What are you
Fixin' on doin'
356
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,548
Now you got me
All clanked up in here?
357
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,317
We haven't figured
That out yet!
358
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,252
Try to get some sleep,
Or something.
359
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,922
Barney will bring you
Breakfast in the morning.
360
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,056
Maybe.
361
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,191
[ screeching
Like a monkey ]
362
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,463
High strung,
You know that?
363
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,098
He's a nut.
364
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,139
Oh, good morning,
Barney.
365
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,306
Hi, olive.
Nice day, huh?
366
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,008
I'll say.
367
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,045
Say, you and andy left
An extra quarter yesterday.
368
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,279
I'm sure
It was a mistake.
369
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,548
What do you mean?
That was your tip.
370
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,617
Two quarters?
But you never --
371
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,253
Olive! Who do you think
You're dealing with --
372
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,587
A couple of pikers?
373
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,190
You got yourself
A half a "C" tip. Enjoy it.
374
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,591
Appreciate it.
375
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,493
[ sniffs ]
376
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:58,431
Let's see, I'm not
Too hungry this morning.
377
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:03,036
I'll just have, uh, orange
Juice, a bowl of cereal,
378
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:06,339
Stack of wheats,
Three eggs over.
379
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,640
Make sure
They ain't runny, now.
380
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,176
Right.
381
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:12,379
Bacon on the crispy side,
White toast, buttered,
382
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,215
Hash-brown potatoes,
And coffee -- coffee now.
383
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:18,485
It does my heart good
To see a thin person eat.
384
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,653
Thank you.
385
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,559
Yeah!
386
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,564
You want to pass me
That sugar, fella?
387
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,699
Here you go.
388
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,603
Bass!
389
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,737
One and the same.
390
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,239
How'd you get out?
391
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,308
That's for me to know,
You to find out.
392
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,609
You get on your feet!
393
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,744
Who got the spare key
Out of the desk for you?
394
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,147
Ask me no questions,
I'll tell you no lies.
395
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,149
You're going right back
In that cell.
396
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,151
I'm just goin' to get
Right out again.
397
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,185
All right, reach!
398
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,555
I'm sorry you had
To see this, olive.
399
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,390
All right, come on,
Move, move!
400
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,192
Out that door, there!
Come on!
401
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,231
All right, you won't
Get out this time, bass.
402
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,233
[ cackles ]
403
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:11,371
[ cackling softly ]
404
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,043
Hello, sarah?
This is deputy fife.
405
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,744
Get me sheriff taylor's house.
406
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,313
[ cackling softly ]
407
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:24,651
Andy, did you let ernest t. Bass
Out to have breakfast?
408
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,618
Andy: 'course not.
409
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,254
Well, he got out somehow.
410
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,621
I picked him up
At the diner.
411
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,223
You better come and get me.
412
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,059
Lock the cell
And double-check it.
413
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,493
And take both sets of keys.
414
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,196
Don't worry,
I double-checked her already.
415
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,730
I'll see you in a minute.
416
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,440
If you can get out
Of here now,
You're a magician.
417
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,576
Alakazam...
418
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:50,710
A-roo!
419
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,379
Now, cut that out!
420
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,789
[ glass shattering ]
421
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,192
[ ernest cackling ]
422
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,561
[ glass shattering ]
423
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,397
[ cackling ]
424
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,464
How'd he get out?
425
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,532
I don't know.
426
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,101
Maybe he is a magician.
427
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,336
[ cackling ]
428
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,570
Come on.
429
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,276
Well, he can't just
Disappear into thin air.
430
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,677
Maybe he got
Enough revenge
431
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,612
And went on back
To the mountains.
432
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,348
I wish we could
Count on that.
433
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,316
You sure you locked
That cell door?
434
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,785
Well, andy, I gave it
A triple security check,
435
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,388
And I locked the keys
In the filing cabinet.
436
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,090
Hmm, wait a minute.
437
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:15,662
New window for
The courthouse.
438
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,763
Boy, if he's in town,
439
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,665
He won't be able
To pass that up.
440
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,867
Let's follow a ways
And see if he shows.
441
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,302
Yeah.
442
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,163
Hold it! Hold it!
443
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,831
Don't do that,
Ernest t., please!
444
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,267
That's the new glass
For our courthouse.
445
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,369
I'll handle
This, andy.
446
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,870
I'm gonna break that glass!
447
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,373
You stand back, bass,
Just stand back!
448
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,908
I'm gonna break
That glass!
449
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,276
No, you ain't!
450
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,344
Yes, I am!
451
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,179
Drop that rock
And get over here!
452
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,153
[ cackling ]
453
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,641
Well, are you just
Gonna stand there
454
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,908
And let him get away?
455
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,783
[ horn honking ]
456
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,390
[ cackling ]
457
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,396
All right, smart guy!
458
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,698
What the...?
459
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,403
It's locked.
460
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,638
And the keys are
In the filing cabinet.
461
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,940
How you keep gettin'
In and out of here?
462
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,609
Come on, bass,
Speak up!
463
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,411
I ain't talkin',
I ain't talkin'.
464
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,846
The more you're askin',
The more I'm balkin'.
465
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,649
What are we gonna do
With him?
466
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:17,784
I don't know.
467
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,552
Dad burn you,
Ernest t.!
468
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,454
Got you kind of
Nervous, didn't I?
469
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,290
You ain't kidding,
Buddy.
470
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:26,259
Now, I know you're mad
'cause the army won't take you.
471
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,495
Yeah, and it's all your fault.
472
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,730
Ain't you had
Enough revenge now?
473
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,033
I just whettin' my appetite,
Is all.
474
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,803
And I'm gonna keep on
Gettin' out of here
475
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:40,039
Till you the get the army
To give me my uniform.
476
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,475
It wouldn't work,
Ernest t.
477
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,444
Suppose you was in the army
Right now.
478
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,878
Not being one to follow rules,
479
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,381
You'd be in and out of trouble
The whole time.
480
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,383
I wasn't fixin'
On goin' in no army.
481
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,784
What?
482
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,053
No, I'm just gonna
Get me my uniform
483
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,555
Go on home and stay.
484
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,861
Let me get this clear
In my mind.
485
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,364
You mean all you want
Is a uniform?
486
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,498
Ernest t.:
Is all.
487
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:06,899
Barney:
Well, what for?
488
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,036
Girls.
489
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,572
And love.
490
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,074
You know
What is the truth, sheriff?
491
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,411
As clever and as good-lookin'
As I am, I...
492
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,547
I just... I just can't
Get a girl.
493
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,383
You can't, huh?
494
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,352
Oh, there's three or four girls
495
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,820
Back up on the mountains
Would be mine
496
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,456
If I had a uniform.
497
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:32,091
You ought to see them flit
Around jelsic sturm
498
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,861
When he come back home
With his uniform.
499
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:38,498
"Jelsic, walk with me.
Jelsic, dance with me.
500
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:41,368
Jelsic, kiss my mouth."
501
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,405
Girls.
502
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:47,974
That's why you want a uniform?
503
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:51,411
Yeah, I could've been hitched
By now
504
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,479
If I only had one.
505
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,913
I got everything else but.
506
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:57,650
I got looks, brains,
Personality.
507
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,852
I kiss good.
508
00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:02,722
The only thing standing
'twixt me and sweet romance
509
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:06,025
Is a uniform.
510
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:12,499
I wonder where we can find
A small-sized uniform.
511
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,870
No, no...
512
00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:19,005
Now, andy, listen.
513
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,573
I had this made
In raleigh.
514
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,975
This is genuine
Whiplash cord.
515
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,511
Andy...
516
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,484
Much obliged,
Sheriff.
517
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,586
You're more than welcome,
Ernest t.
518
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:50,036
Forward march!
519
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:51,037
Clean your guns!
520
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:52,439
Jump in the truck.
521
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:55,775
There goes a happy man.
522
00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:58,678
There goes a happy nut.
523
00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:10,156
Hey, andy,
Come here a minute.
524
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:11,624
What?
525
00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:14,661
Come here.
I want to show you something.
526
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:16,463
What's that?
527
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,898
That is
Ernest t. Bass's key.
528
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,467
An old fork?
529
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,669
That's what he used
To get in and out of here.
530
00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:28,875
What'd you do that for?
531
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,042
Give me the fork.
532
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:32,912
Oh, come on.
Wait a minute.
533
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,747
Watch how this slips
In there. See that?
534
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:35,648
Oh, come on, barney.
535
00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:36,883
Don't throw me off.
536
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,118
See how that presses
Against the tumblers?
537
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,453
Yeah, watch this.
538
00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:42,021
Will you --
Wait a minute.
539
00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,456
Wait a minute.
I got it.
540
00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,524
This is it.
541
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:58,104
You satisfied?
542
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:00,006
Now give me the keys.
543
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,043
Where's the key?
544
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:08,748
Uh, well,
It's in the filing cabinet.
545
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:16,122
[ sighs ] What do
You suggest we do now?
546
00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:20,159
Help!
547
00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,162
Help!
548
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,165
Help!
549
00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:28,901
Well, yell, andy.
550
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:31,504
Help!
551
00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:33,172
Help!
552
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:38,645
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
36985
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