All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S02E27 Father & Son Tournament 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- Hello, everybody.

I'm Harriet Nelson.

I'd like to talk to you
as one parent to another.

I hope your children
are brushing their teeth

with Listerine
Antizyme Toothpaste.

You know, it's the
only toothpaste

on the market that keeps
teeth free from tooth decay

forming acids all day long
with just one brushing.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste.

[theme music]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste,

presents "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely
wife Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don Defore.

- Hey, Mom, have you seen Pop?

- I think he's still
downtown, dear.

- Oh, we're really
going to kill 'em.

We'll murder 'em, boy.

- What's this?
- It's my new paddle.

Pretty neat, huh?

Watch this forehand.

- Ooh, be careful!

- We're going to kill 'em.

- Oh!

Cut it out.

You'll kill us all.

- Wait till I tell Pa.

We're going to win the
whole tournament, I bet.

- What is it?
A ping-pong tournament?

- Please, Mom.
Not ping-pong.

Table tennis, at least
that's what Mr. Bigelow says.

- Well, who's Mr. Bigelow?

- He's a man down at
the Y. He's in charge

of the whole tournament.

It's for fathers and sons.

You think Pop will
want to play with me?

- Well, I don't know.

- All you have to be is a father
and son, and he's my father.

- Yes, I know.

- If he's my father,
then I'm his son.

- Yes, it usually follows.

- It works out pretty
good, doesn't it, Mom?

- Well, I've always been
pleased with the arrangement.

- Boy, I bet you Pop and I
will sure make a great team.

I think I'll go outside
and warm up, Mom.

- I think you'd better sit
down and cool off first.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

- They're signing up for
that tournament at the Y.

- Uh, what tournament is that?

- The father-and-sons
ping-pong tournament.

- Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I think we'd have
a pretty good chance

of winning the thing.

- Well, gee, I don't know, Dave.

I'm pretty rusty.

- Oh, that's OK, Pop.

I can carry you.

- Well, we'll see.

- Oh, that's swell.

I think I'll go over to
Georgie Dunkle's and borrow

his ping-pong table.

He and his father can't play.

- Well, how come?

- Well, Mr. Dunkle's
out of town,

and Georgie's going to a dance.

- Oh.

Well, gee, do you
think you can carry

that table all by yourself?

It's pretty heavy, you know.

- Heck, I may have to
carry something heavier

than that in the tournament.

- Uh, this is a very thick
pair of pants I'm wearing.

[chuckles]

- See you later, Pop.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Was that David with you?

- Yeah, he just went over
to the Dunkle's to borrow

their ping-pong table.

They're having a
tournament over at the Y.

- Oh, yes, I know.

Ricky's all excited about it.

He was telling me.

- Who's that?

- Ricky.

He insisted you'll kill them.

And from the way he swings
that paddle, I believe him.

- Are you sure you mean Ricky?

- Well, yes, we're talking about
the father-and-son table tennis

tournament, aren't we?

- Well, yes, but I had no idea
Ricky wanted to play with me.

Well, of course he is my son.

- Yes, he and I have
already confirmed that.

Well, I know he's
counting on it.

He's got a new paddle and all.

- Oh, gee.

And David just asked me to play
with him just a minute ago.

- Oh.

Well, maybe David could
play one game with you,

and then Ricky could play one.

- No, no, you can't do that.

Whoever is your partner at
the start of the tournament

is your partner throughout.

- Well, maybe if David knew
that Ricky wanted to play,

he'd let him.
Did he seem anxious about it?

- Oh, yeah, I'm afraid he did.

Very anxious.

Well, I think I'll go
out and polish the car

and think this over.

- You have to polish
the car to think?

- Well, no, not necessarily,
but while I'm thinking,

I can be getting my arm
in shape at the same time.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- Hey, what's the trouble?

- Oh, oh, nothing serious.

Just doing a little
thinking here.

- Yeah?

What you thinking
about, or is that

taking too much for granted?

- No.

I have a little bit
of a family problem.

See, they're having a
table tennis tournament

over at the Y, and it
seems that David and Ricky

are both sort of counting
on me to play with them.

It's a father-and-son
tournament.

- Oh, I wouldn't worry
too much about it, Oz.

As a matter of
fact, you don't have

to worry about playing at all.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Well, I mean the
combination of Thornberry

and Thornberry's going to
walk off with the first prize.

- Oh, who says so?

- Thornberry.

- Well, we may have a
little to say about that.

- Yes, you might, that is if you
change your name to Thornberry.

Oz, I guess you
don't realize it,

but I was practically
raised on a ping-pong table.

- Oh, is that so?
- Oh, sure.

I've been playing the game
practically all my life.

In fact, my dad gave
me my first paddle

when I was only two years old.

- Sounds like he taught
you the hard way.

- Well, Oz, wait till you see
my smashing forehand, that is,

you'll be able to see it if
they take any slow-motion films

of the tournament.

- I tell you what I do
when somebody gives me one

of those smashing forehands.

I step back about two paces,
and I slice a little backhand.

You'll go this way.

The ball will go that way.

You'll be lucky if you don't
fall down on the floor.

- [chuckles] Oz, at
just about that time,

I'll sneak in with a
smashing backhand like that.

- Oh, yeah?
Right back at you!

- Right back at you!
- Right back at you.

- Right back at you
- Right back.

- Right back, Oz.

- Right back.

[interposing voices]

- Right back.
- Right back!

- And a chop!

- Uh, uh, uh.

Chopped it right off the table.

- Now, wait a second.

That tipped the edge.

I could hear it click.

- Oh, Oz, how could you hear
it from clear over there?

It missed the table a mile.

- OK, have it your way.

- Wait a minute.

You're not quitting, are you?

- Well, of course I'm quitting.

If there's anything I can't
stand, it's a cheater.

- Oz, don't take
it so seriously.

We were just pretending.

- If there's anything
I can't stand,

it's a guy who
cheats at pretending

to play table tennis.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- What was all that
shadow-boxing going on out

in the yard?

- Oh, that was Thorny
demonstrating his table tennis

form.

- What were you doing?

- Uh, demonstrating mine.

- Is Thorny going to
enter the tournament?

- Is he going to enter it?

Are you kidding?

According to him, he and Will
are going to sew the thing up.

I have never in my
life heard anybody

brag the way that guy does.

Also, according to him, he's
been playing table tennis

since he was two years old.

Claims his dad taught him.

I don't think the game was
even invented in those days.

- Well, I wouldn't let
him get me all steamed up.

Have you decided
which one of the boys

you're going to play with?

- Oh, uh, no.

I went out there
to think that over,

but I wound up standing
there listening

to Thorny boast about himself.

It might be a good idea if we
don't play in the darn thing.

- You mean instead of
losing to the Thornberrys?

- What do you mean "losing
to the Thornberrys"?

David and I will--

Ricky and I-- well,
somebody and I

will give them
plenty of trouble.

I'll tell you that much.

- I'll tell you
one thing, you're

going to have them
plenty confused.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, dear.

- I brought the table over
from the Dunkle's, Pop.

- Oh, uh, Dave, I wanted to
speak to you about that, son.

- Oh, it wasn't too heavy, Pop.

Georgie helped me.

- Well, yeah, yeah,
well, that's fine.

- You know, the more I
think of this, the more I'm

convinced that we're going
to win this tournament,

hands down.

- Oh, uh, well, that's what I
wanted to speak to you about,

Dave.

- Hi-oh, everybody.

Anyone for table tennis?

- What the heck are
you all dressed up for?

- There's a tournament
down at the Y,

and Pop and I are
going to play in it.

How about it, Pop?

- Well, uh, Rick, I wanted
to talk to you about that.

- Pop can't play with you.

He's playing with me.
Aren't you, Pop?

- Well, uh, I wanted to talk
to you about that, Dave.

- Pop's playing with me.

Heck, I got a new
paddle and everything.

- What difference
does that make?

I asked him first.

Besides, it's the
father-and-sons tournament,

and I'm his son.

- What do I look
like, his daughter?

- That's a possibility.

-

- Who are you going
to play with, Pop?

- Well, uh, that's what I
wanted to discuss with you guys.

Now, we know there's this table
tennis tournament at the Y.

We have that established.

Now, we know it's a
fathers-and-sons tournament

for fathers to play
with their sons.

And we know that you boys,
each of you is a son of mine.

So, obviously, I'm eligible
to play with each of you boys,

but not with both of
you, unfortunately.

So, uh, that's our predicament.

- I have a suggestion to make.

Why don't you flip a coin?

- Yeah!

Hey, I think that's
a wonderful idea.

Is that OK with you guys?
- Sure.

- Sure, Pop.

- Fine.

Uh, I don't think
I have any money.

Do you have any money
with you, Harriet?

- Nope.

I got lots of
pockets, but no money.

- Uh, Dave?

- I don't have a cent, Pop.

- Wait a minute, Pop.

- OK, who wants to call it?

- I'll call it.
- I'll call it.

- I'll call it!
- I'll call it!

I'm the oldest.

- I'm dressed for it!

- No, no, no.

Okay, boys.

I'll call it.

Heads.

I play.

Oh, oh!

I'm already playing.

Uh, well, OK, I'll toss
it and let you call, Rick.

- Heads.

- I'm sorry.

It's tails.

Well, Dave, it looks
like you and I are

the team of Nelson and Nelson.

Sorry, little man.

Better luck next time.

- Hey, wait a minute, Pop.

That's no fair.

- What do you mean
it's not fair?

- Ricky, of course it's fair.

Now, look, you have to learn
how to be a good loser.

Dad tossed the coin, you
called it and you lost.

Now David's going to play
with him in the tournament.

- Sure, that's fair.

- Heck, I'm not
talking about that.

I just want my quarter back.

Hi, Dave.

- Hi.

Hey, what are you doing?

- Oh, nothing.

How do you feel?

- I feel fine.

- Oh.

- Well, you don't have
to sound so disappointed.

- I'm not disappointed.

I'm just asking
you how you feel.

After all, a brother should
be brotherly, shouldn't he?

- I suppose so.

- You sure you feel OK?

I wouldn't want you to miss
that ping-pong tournament

tomorrow night.

- Oh, don't worry.

I won't.

- Of course, if you
should happen to miss it,

I'd be very happy
to take your place.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

That's very considerate of you.

- You think we ought to
take your temperature?

You look like you have a fever.

- I feel fine.

- Well, I don't know.

There's an awful lot of mumps
going around these days.

- Look, Ricky, you can play
with Pop in the tournament

next year.
- Next year?

That's a long time to wait.

It's months from now.

- Well, we tossed
a coin, and I won.

It was all fair and square.

- I was talking
to Georgie Dunkle,

and he says there's a high
school dance tomorrow night.

- So what?

- How come you aren't going?

- Because I'm playing in the
ping-pong tournament with Pop.

- The dance sure sounds
like a lot of fun to me.

- Then why don't you go to it?

- Why don't you, and we
both have a good time?

- In the first place,
I don't have a date.

- Heck, Nancy Baker would
love to go with you.

- How do you know?

- I called her a little
while ago and asked her.

- You mean you made a date
with Nancy Baker for me?

- Well, don't get
excited, David.

I didn't exactly make a date.

I just called and kind of hinted
that you might be available.

- Well, I couldn't go anyway.

I don't have any money.

- I might be able to
take care of that, too.

How much do you need?

- Oh, about $4.

- David, my boy, your
worries are over.

I just happen to
have $4 available

and I'd be happy
to lend it to you.

- Well, that's very nice of
you, but I happen to be playing

ping-pong with Pop
tomorrow night.

- How can you?

You told Nancy Baker you
were taking her to the dance.

- I didn't tell
Nancy Baker anything.

You're a regular little
Mr. Fix-It, aren't you?

- I'm just trying to work it
out so we both have a good time

tomorrow night.

- You really want to play
in the tournament, huh?

- I sure do, boy.

I just made you a
firm offer of $4.

- In other words, you'd be
willing to buy my partnership.

- I sure would.

Is it a deal?

- Let me think this
over for a minute.

I suppose the dance
would be fun, especially

if I went with Nancy.

- I'll give you the $4 and
I'll shine your shoes for you.

- How could I
explain this to Pop?

- Heck, he won't care.

Don't forget, I'm a darn
good ping-pong player,

if I do say so myself.

- Yeah, but I don't want
him to get the wrong idea.

Parents are very sensitive
people, you know.

- Oh, they are, huh?
- Well, sure.

You've got to be tactful.

Any sudden emotional disturbance
may have serious complications.

Their sense of security
can become shaken.

They might develop certain
inner frustrations,

which in turn could cause them
to become neurotic, or at least

cause a definite
personality change.

You see, you've got to
be more than just a son.

You've got to be a psychologist.

- You've got to know a
lot of big words, too.

- How about it?

Is the partnership for sale?

- I can't resist that eager
little face peering up at me.

OK, it's a deal.

- What's a deal, Dave?

- Oh, hi, Pop.

Ricky and I were just making
a little business transaction.

I hope you don't
get the wrong idea.

- Uh, about what?

- Well, Ricky's going to
be your partner tomorrow

night instead of me.

- Oh.

- You see, there's
a dance at school,

and since Ricky's dying to
play in the tournament anyway,

I figured I'd go to the dance
and let him take my place.

- For a certain
monetary remuneration.

I know a few crazy words myself.

- It's not that I don't want
to play in the tournament, Pop.

- Oh, no.

I understand, Dave.

I think that's very
considerate of you.

Who are you going
to the dance with?

- Nancy Baker, I'm told.

- So are you two going alone?

I thought you and Will
Thornberry usually

doubled at these dances.

- I'm afraid Will won't be
going any place for a while.

He's three months
overdrawn on his allowance.

Besides, I guess he'd be
playing in the tournament.

- Oh.

Well, which do you
think he'd rather do?

- Gee, I don't know.

He just started going
steady with some girl.

I suppose she won't be too
happy about missing the dance.

- Oh.

Well, gee, it seems a shame to
let a little thing like money

interfere with romance.

How much do you
think you'd need?

- About $4.00.

- Well, I'm sort of a
romantic guy at heart.

I think I can see my way
clear to lend Will the money.

It's for a worthy cause.

- Gosh, that'd be swell, Pop.

But what about Mr. Thornberry?

- Oh, knowing
Thorny the way I do,

I feel sure he'd do the same
thing if he were in my place.

See, he and I think the same
way about these matters.

Here, you give Will the money
with my compliments, Dave.

- Gee, thanks a lot, Pop.
I know he'll appreciate it.

I'll go tell him right now.

- You know, Pop, you're
a very generous man.

- Well, I always try to do a
good turn now and then, Rick.

- You still feel
in a generous mood?

- Generous mood?

Why do you ask that, son?

- I was just wondering if
you could lend me $4, too.

- Well, hiya, Thorny.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

Say, I hear you and Ricky
have really been sharpening up

for the tournament.

- Yeah, it looks like Nelson
and Nelson's the team to beat.

- Well, Thornberry
and Thornberry's

the team that can do it.

- Uh, Thorny, you
talk pretty big,

but, frankly, I'll be
surprised if you guys even

show up for the tournament.

- Don't worry, Oz.

We'll be there.

In fact, I'm chairman
of the trophy committee.

- Oh.

Well, pick out a
good one for me.

- Oz, I admire your
confidence, but I really

think it'd be best if you
stayed at home tomorrow night.

I know what a sore
loser you are,

and there's no sense of ruining
our beautiful friendship.

- Say, you sound like
you honestly believe

you've got a chance of winning.

- Oz, we're a cinch.

It's my devastating serve
that'll do the trick.

I really smash that ball, boy.

It's a tough one to handle, too.

- Well, I've got a pretty
powerful serve myself.

- Yes, I've seen it, Oz.

You've got a pretty
nice little serve there,

but mine goes over the net.

Don't worry, Oz.

I'll let you win
a couple of points

so you won't look too bad.

- Uh, we'll see.

Uh, by the way,
how's your boy Will?

- Will?

Well, he's fine.

- Oh, that's nice.

Glad to hear.

Have you seen him recently?

- Yeah, I see him now and then.

He lives in our house, you know.

Why the sudden interest in Will?

- Oh, no special reason.

Just inquiring about the family.

- Well, they're all fine, Oz.

- Oh, good.

Well, I'd better
go in and see if I

can help Harriet with anything.

I'll see you later, Thorny.

- Fine, Oz.

- I'll, uh, see you later.

See you later.

Oh, hi, boys.
- Hiya, Pop.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Uh, Dave, did you get a chance
to speak to Will Thornberry?

- Yeah, I saw him just
a little while ago,

and I gave him the money.
- Oh, good.

- Boy, he sure was happy.

- Oh, that's swell.

Then he's definitely going to
the dance with you tomorrow

night?
- Oh, sure.

- Good.
- Who's going to what dance?

- Oh, uh, Ricky's going to
play with me in the tournament,

and David's going to go to the
school dance tomorrow night.

- Yeah, Will and I are doubling.

Pop lent him the
money so he could go.

- Oh, really?

Well, that was very
generous of you, dear.

- Oh, I'm a very
generous fellow.

Will was kind of
disappointed that he

didn't have enough money
to go, and, you know,

we like to have our
neighbors happy.

- Yes, or we're liable to have
a very unhappy neighbor pounding

at the door at any minute.

- You can say that, Harriet.

There's an old
familiar quotation

that fits this occasion.

"All's fair in love
and ping-pong."

Well, we're off the
tournament, Harriet.

Wish us luck.
- Oh, good luck, dear.

- Thank you.

- May the better team
emerge triumphant.

That's us, Mom.

- Good luck, Pop.

- Oh, thanks, Dave.

And have a nice
time at the dance.

Uh, Will Thornberry is
definitely going with you,

isn't he?

- He'd better, or I'm
stuck with two girls.

Goodnight, Mom.

- Good night, dear.

Have a good time.

- Goodnight, Pop.

- Goodnight, Dave.

Oh, Harriet, maybe you'd
better make a little more room

on this mantle.

I have a hunch Ricky and
I are going to come home

with two huge trophies.

- Well, I hope so.
Good luck, dear.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

Come on, partner.

You'll over-train.

[music playing]

Well, here we are.

- Oh, hi!

You're back sooner
than I expected.

- Well, we wanted to hurry home
and tell you the good news.

- We won, Mom!

- Oh, that's wonderful.

- Oh, gee.

Yeah, the last match
was pretty tough,

but the team of
Nelson and Nelson

managed to emerge victorious.

- Well, congratulations,
Nelson and Nelson.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Where are they?

- Where are what?

- The trophies.

I cleared the mantle for you.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh!

We got very nice trophies,
one for Ricky and one for me.

We, uh-- oh, oh.

Here we are.

There.

- Well, it's lovely.

- Yeah, I think it's very nice,
very fitting to the occasion.

It's nice and dainty.

I mean, I think sometimes
a trophy can be too huge,

and then it looks
vulgar and bizarre.

- Oh, well, this is
a very nice size.

- A nice size, yes.

- Gee, it looks pretty nice on
the mantel, doesn't it, Pop?

- Oh, oh, yes.

Yeah, that looks
very nice there.

Say, you know, I
think your trophy

is a little larger than mine.

They make a nice pair, though.

Uh, Harriet, you know,
this might come in handy

as a jigger.

- The committee probably
didn't have too much money

to spend on trophies.

- Oh, well, that's possible.

- By the way, who did
you play in the finals?

- We played the Thornberrys.

And--
- The Thornberrys?

- Yeah, now this is
the most amazing--

[door opening]

Oh, here comes one of
the runner-ups now.

- Hi, everybody.

- Hi, Thorny.

- What the heck is that?
- Well, it's my trophy.

I thought I'd stop by
and show it to you.

- Your trophy?

- Sure, Oz.

The runner-up team gets
a trophy too, you know.

- Well, now just a second.

How come the runner-up gets
a big trophy like that,

and I've got--

I mean, what is this?

- Well, why not?
It's only fair.

You get all the glory
and the wonderful feeling

that comes with victory.

The runner-up team gets nothing,
so we, on the trophy committee,

decided this would make
a nice consolation prize.

- Something tells
me this wouldn't

have happened if you hadn't
been chairman of the trophy

committee!
- Now, wait a minute, fellas.

Let me get this straight.

Thorny, did Will play with you?

- No.

He went to the dance with David.

- Well, then how could
you be eligible to play?

This was a father-and-son
tournament.

- Holy smokes.

I almost forgot.

Come on in, partner.

Harriet, I don't think
you've ever met my dad.

- Oh, glad to know you, Harriet.

- Hey, Oz.

Have you seen this
morning's paper?

There's a big write-up about
last night's tournament.

- Oh.
- Picture and everything.

- No kidding.

I didn't know they
took my picture.

Wait a minute.

That's a shot of
you and your father.

- Well, look what it
says under the picture.

"The valiant team of Thornberry
and Thornberry nosed out

by a narrow margin in the--"

- Nosed out by a narrow margin?

We beat you 21-5!

- Oh, well, that
isn't important.

And they wrote a nice
article about dad and me.

- [murmuring]

Just how do you rate all this?

- Oh, maybe I
forgot to tell you.

I'm also chairman of
the publicity committee.

- Thorny, that's the lowest,
most underhanded thing

I've ever heard of.

- Oh, Oz, please.

As a friend of mine
used to say, all's

fair in love and ping-pong.

[ending theme]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint, automatically.

The Ornithology
Society has requested

us to announce that the
ping-pong exhibition by Ozzie

and Thorny in the backyard
was strictly for the birds.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.

- You answer the call
of humanity every day

of the year when you
join your 1954 Red Cross

campaign for members and funds.

You are there when disaster
strikes, when blood is needed,

when a serviceman needs help.

So answer the call.

Join and serve.