All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S02E17 Ozzies Night Out 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- Hello, everybody,
I'm Harriet Nelson.

And I'd like to talk to you
as one parent to another.

I hope your children
are brushing their teeth

with the same toothpaste
that our boys use:

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste.

Ask your dentist about it.

[music playing]

- Listerine-- the most widely
used antiseptic in the world--

and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste

presents "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course his lovely wife,
Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Oh!

What's the matter, you
forget your old friends?

- I'm sorry.

I was a little preoccupied here.

- Well, you were avoiding me.

I thought you might
owe me some money.

- Thorny, I'll pay you that
other 25 as soon as I get it.

- Aha, then you
were avoiding me!

- Why should I avoid
you for a measly $0.25?

[laughter]

- $0.25?
Is that all you owe me?

- Well, sure.

How much did you think it was?

- I didn't think
it was anything.

[laughter]

- Oh, a fine thing.

How about you and I going
out on the town tonight?

- What do you mean?

- Well, as long as
you owe me that $0.25,

I might as well spend it.

I can't stand to let all our
money burn a hole in my pocket.

Let's go to a movie, or
maybe we can go bowling?

What do you say?
There's nothing else to do.

- Well, if you're not
kidding, Thorny, I

would like to do it some other
night, but I can't tonight.

- What's the matter?

Won't Harriet let
you out of the house?

- Sure, it's not a question
of Harriet not letting me out

of the house, but tonight looks
like one of my busy nights.

- Yeah?

How so?

- Well, for one thing, David has
a composition in English to do,

and he usually looks forward
to my making a few suggestions.

- Well, I'm sure he could
get along without your sage

observations for one night.

- Well, then there's Ricky, too.

- Well, sure he could probably
give David some suggestions

that would be just as good.

- No, no.

What I mean is Ricky needs a
little help on his mathematics.

He's kind of shaky
on his algebra.

- What about Harriet?

- Well, she's kind of shaky on
her addition and subtraction.

[laughter]

- I'll bet she could
give Ricky a hand.

- No, no, Thorny.

Tonight is her night to balance
the checkbook with the bank

statements.

I'm awfully sorry.

I'd love to go out
with you, Thorny,

but they're sort
of counting on me.

So I better stay home.

- OK, OK, Oz.

You're the kind of a guy who
thinks his wife and family are

more important than
going out and having

a great time with his
old pal and buddy, OK.

- Thorny, you know I
wouldn't let you down

unless this was something
really important.

After all, you're like
one of the family to us.

You know that.
- Well, I do.

Oz.
I do.

[car honk]

- Oh, here comes our bus.

- Oh, so it is.

Oz, would you take my arm here?

- What are you doing?
- Never mind.

Just hold it.

- What's the big idea?

- Well, if you're going to be
helping the rest of the family

tonight, Oz, the least you can
do is to help me on the bus.

[laughter]

- Hi, Harriet,

- Well, hello, Helen.
Come on in.

- Just on my way home
from the hairdresser's

and I thought I'd stop by.

- Oh, and your hair
looks lovely, too.

- Thank you.

I struggled with
it myself all week

and finally decided to give
in and go to the hairdresser.

- Well, come on in and sit down.

You must be tired
after that ordeal.

- Not especially.

In fact, I've just
been sitting down

and relaxing all afternoon.

Oh, that fire looks good.

- Doesn't it, though?

I just love a fire
on a cold day.

- So do I. You know, the longer
I sat in that beauty parlor,

the more I got to feeling sorry
for that poor husband of mine.

- I don't get the connection.
What's the matter with him?

- Oh nothing's wrong.

I just couldn't stop
thinking about him.

There I was getting my hair
done, nails manicured--

Somebody brought me
a sandwich and coffee

and practically
fed me my lunch--

And I suddenly realized what
a glorious life we women lead.

- Oh, you better be careful.

That kind of talk can get
us into a lot of trouble.

[laughter]

- I really mean it.

I just couldn't stop
thinking about it.

The poor guy comes
home from work tired,

and before he even
gets in the door,

I start boring him
with all my troubles.

- What kind of troubles?

- Oh, big important
things, like the difficulty

I had picking out
a head of lettuce

at the market, or the
magazine salesman that

sold me a subscription
that's good until 1961.

I'm telling you, Harriet,
that poor husband of mine

never gets a minute's rest.

How about Ozzie?

- Oh, he seems happy to
just stay home and relax.

- Well, that's good.

What does he do to relax?

- Well, usually helps the
boys with their homework.

Now he's going to help me
straighten out my checkbook,

as usual.

- Oh, well, if there's
one way to relax it's

by trying to straighten
out the family checkbook.

- Well, he seems to like it,
staying home, helping out.

- That's what Hilda
Granite thought.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she insisted her husband
Harry stay home every night.

And he did, for
eight long years.

Then one night some girl
came to the door selling

some new kind of
suspenders, and, well,

Harry hasn't been home since.

[laughter]

- Well, Ozzie
always wears a belt.

[laughter]

- I hardly think
it's that serious.

I just think the poor
husbands deserve a break.

I think every man likes
to get out of the house

once in a while, get
away from it all.

Does him good.

- You may be right.

- I even bought my husband a
box of his favorite cigars.

El Corrupto, I think.

- They sound pretty strong.

- Well, that's the idea.

No matter how I feel
about it before, just let

him start puffing
on one of those

and I'm glad to get
him out of the house.

[laughter]

I should be running along.

- Is that you, Ozzie?

- No, ma'am.
It's us.

- Oh, hello, Dave.

- Hi, Mom.

- Glad you got home
before your father.

- What's the trouble?

- Well, nothing special.

I just want to have a little
talk with you about him.

- Heck, I like Pop.

- Of course you do.

We all do.

That's just the point.

I think maybe we've been a
little too demanding of him.

- In what way, Mom?

- Well, we're always asking him
to help us with our homework.

- Golly, did he used
to do yours, too, Mom?

- He still does.

He always gives
me a helping hand

with the bills
and the checkbook.

- Well, he never seems to mind.

- Golly, no.

- That's because
he's so good natured.

I'm sure there are
plenty of nights

when he'd just like to relax
or maybe go down to a movie

by himself.

- Heck, if he
doesn't, I sure will.

- Don't forget, little man.

You have homework to do.

- I've already forgotten.

- Oh, let's just give your
father a little rest, shall we?

- Sure.

- You hear me, David?

- Yes, ma'am.

What do you want us to do?

- Well, let's be especially
nice to him when he comes home.

And why don't you boys try doing
your own homework for a change?

- That's asking
an awful lot, boy.

- Well, I'm going to balance
the checkbook all by myself.

- You think that's fair to Pop?

[laughter]

- All right, never mind.

Hi, dear!

- Oh, hi.

- Dinner's almost ready.

- Oh, that's good.

- Why don't you
sit down and relax?

- Hi, Pop.
- Hi, Pop.

- Hi, Dave.
- Let me take your coat.

- Slippers are
over there, Ricky.

Paper's on the chair, Dave.

- Here's your paper, Pop.

- Oh, thanks.

Pretty good service I'm
getting here tonight.

Slippers and everything, huh?

- Why don't you sit
on the sofa, Pop?

- Yeah, I guess that
would be more comfortable.

Oh, quite an idea.

Thanks a lot, Rick.

- You comfortable now, Pop?

- Yeah, very nice, Thank you.

- You sure now?

- Yes, sir.

OK, fellas.

How about it?

- How about what?

- Much money do you guys need?

[laughter]

Don't tell me there isn't
a financial interest

involved here.

- Oh, of course not, Pop.

We don't want any money.

Do we, Ricky?

- Well, as a matter
of fact, I could use--

- Ricky!

- OK, I thought as
long as he offered it.

- Dinner's ready
whenever you are, dear.

- Oh, OK.

Thanks, Harriet.

- Stay right there, Pop.

- Well, your mother said
dinner's ready, son.

- Come on, David.

- Whoa, whoa!

Wait a minute,
what are you doing?

- I guess we're not
strong enough anyway.

- Strong enough for what?

- To carry you into
the dining room.

- I can make it myself, fellas.

[music playing]

That was a good dinner, Harriet.

- Thank you, dear.

- Well, I'd better get going
on my English composition.

- Well, I'll be up
and help you with that

in a little while, Dave.
- No thanks, Pop.

I think I can do it.
- You sure now?

I'll be glad to give you a hand.

- No thanks, Pop.

Thanks anyway.

- You better start your
homework, too, Ricky.

- Oh, golly, Mom.

- Oh, that's the
algebra, isn't it, son?

- Yes, sir.

- Well, I'll give you a hand
on it in a little while.

- Oh, that's OK, Pop.

I understand it fine now.

- Well, you sure?

Because I have to help
your mother with her bank

balance anyway.

- Oh, that's OK, Pop.

- Oh, I meant to tell you, dear.

I think I can
handle that myself.

I won't have to bother you.

- Oh, it's no bother.

I'm glad to help you with it.

- Well, I have to learn
how sooner or later myself.

Tonight might be a
good time to start.

Look, I have an idea.

Why don't you take the
evening off, all by yourself,

just go to a movie or something?

- Gee, it's funny you should
mention that because Thorny

asked me if I'd like to go
bowling with him tonight.

- Well, now that's
a wonderful idea.

Boys, your father's going out.

Get his jacket, will you?
[interposing voices]

- Come on, dear.
You won't keep Thorny waiting.

- Well, there's no hurry.

- You might miss
getting an alley.

- Here's your coat, Pop.

- Oh, oh.

Thank you.

Don't tear the lining, son.
- Here's your shoes, Pop.

- Oh.
Oh.

Thank you much.

Now, Harriet, are you sure it's
OK if I go out without you?

- Oh, absolutely, dear.

We want you to.

As a matter of fact,
we insist on it.

You have a good time.
- Yeah, have a good time, Pop.

- Thank you.

Well, thank you, son.

Well, thank you, son.

I sure have a very
thoughtful family.

At least I think I do.

[laughter]

[applause]

[music playing]

- Hello?

- Hello, Thorny?

- Oh, hi, Oz.
- Hi.

Grab your bowling
shoes, ol' boy.

Let's go.
- Go?

Go where?

- Well, bowling, of course.

I managed to talk Harriet
into letting me out tonight.

Go on, better get
down there early

so we can grab a good lane.

- Oh, gee, I'm afraid
I can't go, Go.

I promised Will I'd help him
with his homework tonight.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

Besides that,
Catherine has a couple

of things she wants
me to do for her.

Gee, I'm sure sorry, Oz.

- Oh, well, that's OK.

- Wait a minute, what happened?

I thought you were going to
help Ricky with his homework.

- Well, yes, I was.

- Uh-huh, but you decided
to duck out instead.

- No, no, no, no.

Of course not.

- Oz, why don't you go
back and help the boy?

First year algebra isn't
tough once you get on to it.

- You've got this
all wrong, Thorny.

I offered to help Ricky
with his homework,

but he turned me down.

He said he'd rather
do it himself.

- Well, I don't blame him.

What else is the poor kid going
to say when you were standing

there grumbling about it?

- I wasn't grumbling
about anything.

Look, going out
tonight wasn't my idea.

Harriet-- well,
look, Thorny, I'll

meet you out back and
tell you all about it.

[music playing]

- OK, now what was the
argument all about?

- What argument?

- The argument you
and Harriet had.

- We didn't have any
argument, Thorny.

- Oh, I get it.

She got sore at you
because you wouldn't

help Ricky with his homework.

- No, no.

You've got this
whole thing confused.

- Look, Oz.

Why don't you go
back in the house

and tell Harriet you're
sorry you were such a heel

and she'll forgive you?

- In the first place,
Harriet doesn't want me

around the house tonight.

- I know how it is, Oz.

All married couples
have these little spats.

Why don't you just buy
her a big box of candy

and it'll little fix everything?

- We didn't any shred of a spat.

[voice trails away]

She didn't kick me
out of the house.

She isn't mad at me
or anything like that.

She just wants me to have
a night out, that's all.

- Oh, so that's it.

Gee, Oz.

I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

- Oh, that's OK, Thorny.

- I certainly wasn't trying to
start anything between you two.

- No, I know you weren't.

Well, I'd better get going.

Sure you don't
want to come along?

- Oh, positive.

But you have a good time, Oz.

- Oh, don't worry I will.

- And I'll leave our
key in the mailbox,

and I'll have a couple of extra
blankets on the couch for you.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- How you coming with
the bank balance, Mom?

- Oh, not very well, David.

I got a $25 deficit here
I can't account for.

- How you doing with
your composition?

- Kind of slow.

I'll probably start doing a
little better once I think

of something to write about.

- Yeah, imagine that'd help.

- Does anybody care to ask me
how I'm doing on my algebra?

- OK, little man.

How are you doing
with your algebra?

- Well, if I could just
get this one problem done,

I'll have one problem done.

[laughter]

- Looks like we're all
having our troubles.

- Yeah, I'll say.

I wish Pop hadn't
gone out tonight.

- Well, I'm afraid we depend
too much on your father.

He deserves an
occasional night out.

We certainly can't let him
do all our work for us.

- I don't know what I
ought to write about.

I wish I could think of
an interesting subject.

- Hey, why don't
you write about me?

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

I could write a composition,
"Are Little Brothers

Necessary?"

[laughter]

- Wait a minute, I found it.

I'm not $25 short after all.

I just added wrong.

Yes, now, 5 and 15 is 10.

And 10 is-- uh-oh.

- How's it work out?

- Just like I said, I'm
not $25 short after all.

I'm $50 short.

[laughter]

Darn it.

I wonder what I did wrong.

- You let Pop out of the house.

[laughter]

- You never mind
that stuff, Ricky.

- As much as I hate to admit
it, I'm afraid Ricy's right.

- Should we call him at
the bowling alley, Mom?

- Oh, no.

I couldn't do that, David.

- Heck, what's the number?

I'll call him.

- We gave your
father the night out.

We're going to
stick to our word.

- Yeah, that's right, Mom.

- Algebra's pretty tough, boy.

- Stop grumbling,
you'll get it done.

- You're darn right
I'll get it done.

I'll ask Pop to do it
for me tomorrow morning.

- Oh, no, you don't, Ricky.

Your father's not going to do
any of your homework tomorrow

morning.
He's going to be much too busy.

- Doing what?

- Straightening out
the bank balance.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Ozzie?

[laughter]

- Hello, there.

What are you doing up so late?

- Oh, I just wasn't sleepy.

- So, how'd everything
go without me?

- Oh, just fine.

- That's good.

- Did you have a good time?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I had a fine time.

- What'd you do?

- Oh, lots of things.

Hope you weren't worried.

I didn't mean to stay
out quite so late.

- Oh, no.

I wasn't worried.

It's only 12:33 and 1/4.

[laughter]

- Meant to get in earlier
but I was enjoying myself

so much I hated to break away.

Say, everything went
OK here at home?

- Oh, yes, fine.

What did you do?

- Oh, made the rounds.

- Rounds of what?

- Well, Harriet, what is
this, the third degree?

I mean, after all, it was
your idea I go out tonight,

you know?

- Yes, I know, I know, dear.

I'm just interested.

If it bothers to have me...

[interposing voices]

- I just didn't know what you--

- I suppose you stopped
down at the bowling alley.

Now, I'm not asking you.

I'm just supposing.

- Well, yeah, I
did stop by there,

but there was some sort
of a tournament going on.

I watched them for a
while and then moved on.

No lanes available.

- Oh, it's too bad you
didn't get the bowl.

- Well, I-- I really
didn't care much.

I wanted to hit all the spots.

After all, this was
my night to howl.

Oh, did you know the Bijou
Theater was closed for repairs?

It's going to be
closed for three weeks.

- No, I didn't.

- Yeah.

Same Western picture's
playing over at the Rialto.

- Oh, were you going to a movie?

- Well, I-- I thought about it.

I'm glad I didn't, though.

It's kind of a silly way
to spend an evening out.

You know, some milk and cookies
would go fine right now.

Do you have any cookies?

- Yes, there's some on
the dining room table.

- You know, you sure pick up
some interesting information

when you're out on
the town like this.

- Cookies are on the table.
I'll get the milk.

- Oh, thanks.
- What interesting information?

- Well, for instance,
did you know

they close the public
library at 9 o'clock?

- They always have.

- Oh.

I'll bet you didn't know
that Mr. Miller closes

his drugstore at 10:30.

- No, that's news to me.

- And the TV set in the window
of Big Low's furniture store

is shut off at 11:00?

- Now, there's some very
interesting things to know.

- You know, when
you're out on the town

you really meet some
interesting people.

I was talking to a
fellow tonight who

was a very entertaining
guy, a traveling

man all over the United States.

- How did you meet him?

- Oh, we just got to talking.

Got some wonderful
ideas about life, too.

I guess you'd call him sort of a
philosopher, the homespun type.

Had a very unusual name, too.

Mr. Bindlestiff, I think.

[laughter]

- Bindlestiff?

- Yeah.

Very nice person.

We were having a very
interesting discussion

till he made us leave.

- Who made you leave?

- The police.

Do you think it's fair for
them to kick citizens out

of a public park at midnight?

- Wait a minute.

Let me just review this
exciting evening of yours.

You couldn't get into
the bowling alley,

so you went to the Bijou.

The Bijou was closed, so
you went to the library

until 9 o'clock.

Then you went to the
drugstore until 10:30.

You watched television until
11:00 and sat in the park

until 12.

[laughter]

Is that what you call
"making the rounds"?

- Yes, and it sounds
pretty square.

- Well, it certainly
isn't what I call

a highly entertaining evening.

- Well, it was, and I
had a terrible time.

- Now, tell me, Harriet.

What did I do wrong?

- Well, if what you've told me
is true, absolutely nothing.

- I mean, why are you mad at me?

- I'm not mad at you.

- Well, then why did you
kick me out of the house?

- Well I just thought you'd
like to have an evening out.

- You mean you weren't
sore at me about anything?

- Well, of course not.

I just thought you'd like
to spend an evening out

with a boy.

- Well, what boys?

I mean, all the other men
are home with their families

where they belong.

- Oh, believe me,
dear, we'd have

been much happier if you'd
stayed at home with us.

Boys and I didn't do as
well as you think we did.

As a matter of fact, we
needed your help, desperately.

- Harriet, that's nice
of you to say that,

but I'm sure it didn't
make that much difference.

After all, there comes
a time in a man's life

when his family is able
to function without him.

I'm glad you and the boys aren't
so dependent on me anymore.

That's the way it should be.

Not that I mind helping you.

- Ozzie, may I say something?

- Well, sure.

Go ahead.

- Well, I almost hate
to tell you this,

but Ricky couldn't do any
of his algebra problems,

so that means he'll get
a failing mark tomorrow.

And David got just
about one paragraph

of his English composition done.

And I've made a complete
mess out of the bank balance.

Comes out different
every time I add it up.

Honestly, I never saw
so many nines and sevens

in all my life.

I ran out of fingers.

[laughter]
- Wait a minute.

You mean to say just
because I step out

of a house for one
night the boys are

going to fail in
school and you've

got the checkbook messed up?

- Yeah, that's right.

- This is terrible.

- I know it.

- Look, tell me one thing.

- Yes, dear?

- Are you sure you aren't saying
this just to make me happy?

[laughter]

- Is that you, dear?

- Mm-hmm.

- Are you just coming to bed?

- Oh, yeah.

I had little work to
do, don't you remember?

I had 12 algebra
problems to solve,

an English composition to write,
and a checkbook to balance.

- Oh, that's right.

I forgot.

- Would you mind
turning out the light?

It's shining right in my eyes.

- Can't you sleep
with the light on?

- Well, I guess so, but
that doesn't make any sense.

Probably spend the
night dreaming...

Dreaming of my wild adventures
tonight out on the town.

- That's exactly
what I had in mind.

You go to sleep and dream,
dear, and I'll watch you.

You start smiling,
I'm going to hit you

over the head with a lamp.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Boy, you sure have the
right idea last night.

I wish I'd gone bowling, too.

- Well, what's the matter?

- Well, as you know,
instead of going bowling,

I very generously
offered to help my boy

Will with his homework.
- Yeah.

- Well, I did more
than help him with it.

He looked kind of tired, so
I told him to go off to bed

and I did it all for him.

And it was that algebra, too.

That's pretty tough stuff.

- Oh, I know it is.

I think that was
darn nice of you.

- Well, I think
so, too, Oz, but do

you think Will appreciates it?

Not in the least.

I came home from school today
and didn't even say thank you.

Hardly even got a
hello out of him.

- Maybe he just had
something on his mind.

- Oh, no, no, Ozzie.

Just plain thoughtlessness,
that's all.

Get no appreciation when
you try to be a good father.

- Oh, I wouldn't be too
hard on the boy, Thorny.

- I'm not.

Since that's all the gratitude
he's going to show me,

I'm glad I didn't get any
of the problems right.

[laughter]

- Next week "The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.