All language subtitles for Davey.and.Jonesies.Locker.S01E03.The.Day.the.Music.Schnied.720p.AMZN.WEB-D

I know you'’re out there.

And now I know your names.

Davey and Jonesie.

Show yourselves.

Okay, that universe
was radical, dude, right?

Like...

Surfer World
really affected you.

Yeah, it did.

All right!

Hmm. Same as home.

My ukulele'’s missing!

Hmm, yep.
Point for this world.

- Rude.
Girls!

The main man with a portal scan.

Are you trying
to get us caught?

Hmm. Broken again, huh?

Why does that happen
every time we go through,

and is it your fault?

It'’s not intended
for repeated use, is why.

Plus, it'’s coded for my DNA,

so every time you push
your weird DNA through,

it gets all thrown out of whack.

We have that effect on people.

And things.

Okay, so what'’s the deal
with this world, huh?

Does everyone sneeze fire
or have perfect pitch?

- N-No...
- ♪ Like I do ♪

Stop it. Stop it, stop it,
stop it, stop it.

- Not here, okay?

All right, just meet me
in my lab.

Interesting.

Maybe this is a world
where Schneider'’s really uptight

and lightly hates us.

Wait, but that-- Oh.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, because that'’s--

- That'’s every single one.
- That'’s right.

♪ But the world don'’t stop ♪

♪ Time is only
gonna pass you by ♪

♪ Now you'’re in real life ♪

Okay, quickly, please.

- What is wrong with you two?

Talking about worlds
out in the open?

You learned nothing about being
multi-dimensional fugitives?

When you emerge from the portal,

you should come immediately
to the lab,

where you can be debriefed
on the rules of the universe

while the me of that world

begins the inevitable
portal repair.

Okay, we get it. Blend in.
Yeah, yeah.

- Let'’s go explore.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Explore?

What did you just say?

Do you think this is some kind
of grand adventure?

- Yes, that'’s exactly what it is.
- Yes, actually.

Those are the exact words
that I would use.

- We'’re going through a portal.
No.

And it'’s this flippant attitude

that'’s putting us all
in major danger.

- Great band name.
- Oh, yeah. Add that to the list.

- Whoa, that'’s good.
- This is what I'’m talking about.

This is why you'’re causing
anomalies wherever you go.

How dare you!

What is an anomaly?

Excuse me?

You don'’t know
what an anomaly is?

Okay, wow.

The multiverse is managed
by a single organization

which exists
in a super dimension

outside the bounds
of the traditional multiverse,

also known as

the Management Organization
of the Multiverse.

Otherwise known as M.O.M.

Nope. Don'’t.

Now, M.O.M. ensures
that every universe

act according
to its own set rules.

When someone
leaves their world,

they are labeled
as a delinquent.

So you two are delinquents.

Now, when a delinquent
upsets the rules

of a given universe like, say,
toppling a gem-based regime...

Mm, also known as winning.

...then that is called
"causing an anomaly."

Now, when an anomaly
is detected,

M.O.M. dispatches
a Delinquent Acquisition Deputy,

also known as a D.A.D.

And if a D.A.D. catches you,
that is very bad.

It'’s bad to be caught
by a D.A.D. Any questions?

- Oh, yes.
- Yes.

Okay, while you were talking,
I was just thinking,

were the M.O.M. and D.A.D.
acronyms an accident,

or did you mean for them
to be that stupid?

- Davey?
- Same question.

- Okay.
Also,

why did you and your mom
put a portal in our locker?

Trust me, M.O.M. has no idea
I built the portal,

and if they did,
they would be none too pleased.

You see, I used to work
for M.O.M.

Oh, backstory alert.

Until we had a bit
of a disagreement.

And, afraid of my genius,

they desynced me from being
a multidimensional being

and forced a version of me

to be a lowly 10th grade
science teacher

in every universe in existence.

Who is he talking to?

So I built the portal

to re-sync myself--

a feat that no one has ever
accomplished, by the way--

to show them nothing
can stand in the way

of true scientific exploration.

- Ew.
- So are you gonna

answer our question,
or is that--?

And then all the stupid stuff
in your stupid locker

brought the portal to you,

and you two
went through instead.

Yeah, and now
we'’re on a dope adventure.

The dope adventure,
that is not the goal.

The goal is to get you home.

Which we still have not
exactly figured out how to do,

because no one can get in touch
with Schneider 6689

from your home world.

So in the meantime,
the rest of us Schneiders

are forced to send you
from world to world

in this hideous game
of hot potato

before you can cause
any more anomalies,

prompting M.O.M.
to send a D.A.D.,

which would put us all in--

Let me guess, major danger?

- Yes.
Yeah, we get it.

Can you just tell us
what the deal is?

We will blend in. We promise.

Okay.

Fortunately, I think
you'’ll find this universe

to be quite unchallenging.

It'’s exactly
like your home world,

except music
is strictly forbidden.

- Come on!

- Come on! Please!

Okay, we done?

I don'’t understand
what the big deal is.

All you have to do is not sing.

Music is our lifeblood, man, okay?

We, we'’re artistes.

Yes.

Doesn'’t your soul ever cry out

to sing your one true
heart'’s song?

What? No.

Living in a world with no music?

You have lost your heart.

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.

Look, when I was sent
to this world,

I had to forget about music

in order to avoid
causing an anomaly.

It'’s not that... difficult.

It'’s...

- I mean...

- Look,

what'’s important is,
you just have to make it

through next class
without causing an anomaly.

Think you can do that?

It goes against everything
that we believe in,

but yes, we can obviously
not sing.

- Yeah.

We got this.

A bus departs Philadelphia

at 40 miles per hour.

Now, if the wheels on the bus
are going round and round...

- Yep?
- Round and round?

Round and round.

If the wheels on the bus

are going round and round,

how long would it take
to go all around the town?

Don'’t sing,
don'’t sing, don'’t sing.

No music,
no music, no music.

Wah, wah, wah.

Swish, swish, swish.

- Wah, wah, wah.

- Wah, wah, wah.

- Wah, wah, wah.

- Wah, wah, wah.

Swish, swish, swish,

all around the town.

Wah, wah, wah. Ha!

Wah, wah, wah.

Swish, swish, swish.
Wah, wah, wah.

- Wah, wah.

All around the town.

- Okay.

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- Okay.

- Oh!

- Oh, I feel so much better.

Now we can make it through
the next couple hours.

No problems, no anomalies,

and of course,
no one the wiser, baby.

Shall we do one
more for the road?

A-one, two, three, four!

Anomaly detected.

Bingo.

I'’m coming for you,
Davey and Jonesie.

And this time, I will not...

Hey, Cheryl.
What the heck are you doing

sitting here alone in the dark,
you big weirdo?

Just closed my fourth case
of the day.

Another toddler caused a rift

in the space-time continuum
with one of these.

Ah! You know,
I wish I could tell parents

that these things love
to be particle accelerators,

but, uh...

Mmm.

Mmm!

Mmm.

Hey, so how are you doing?

Are you still working
on that case

with those two
teen girls, or...?

Yes, but I'’ve detected another
anomaly with their signature.

And once I apprehend them,

I will finally be rid
of this hideous reassignment

to the juvenile department.

Oh, wait, this is the last case
of your probation, right?

Man, no wonder
you'’re so hopped up to get them.

I tell you what, though.

I'’m gonna miss having
an office buddy down here.

But with your training, I think
you'’re gonna get those girls

in no time, tiger!

Oh, oh, oh, oh! Ugh!

Awkward alert.
I hate to be this guy,

but I noticed you'’ve been
beaming into the school

in your old Elite Squad duds.

Yeah, that'’s a no-no,
unfortunately,

as I keep reminding you.

Mmm, you wouldn'’t want
to go back

and cause an anomaly yourself, right?

It'’s annoying,
but we'’ve got to blend in too.

Obviously,
I know how to be discreet.

And this won'’t take long.

Oh, yeah.

You'’ve been around the block,
girl, I know that.

But you know
what I was thinking, though?

Just since these girls
have been giving you

such a weird runaround,

I took the liberty of coming up
with a cover for you

to blend into the high school
environment.

You'’re gonna to love it.

And before you say anything,
you'’re welcome.

Oh, there she goes.

So, what do you think?

What the hell is this?

Pretty cool, right?

Apparently, Schrodinger High

doesn'’t have a vice principal
in any universe,

so I took the liberty
of refitting your gear

with a mind mod that triggers
when you beam in.

That way, in that universe,

everyone will think
you'’ve always been there,

and forget about you
when you leave.

Pretty nifters, hey?
No need to thank me.

Okay, I am proud of us.

We had a problem,
and then we found a solution.

And boom, everybody wins.

- Uh, especially us.
- Especially us.

- Look, the sky'’s not falling.
- No.

There'’s no D.A.D.
to come out to get us.

- No.
- There'’s literally nothing bad

- that could have--
- Davey! Jonesie!

I heard you...

doing the...

"muh-sic."

Okay, well, first off,

I'’m gonna assume that you were
trying to say "music."

And second off, we don'’t know
what you'’re talking about.

Yeah, I mean, that could have
been any two voices of angels.

- Yeah.
- Also, why do you care?

Because muh-sic is forbidden.

We didn'’t even do anything
wrong, okay, rule tool?

Rules exist for a reason.

And as student body
vice president,

it'’s my job to enforce them.

So if I catch you
doing it again,

I'’ll be forced to report you.

Hmm!

I'’m so glad Sierra went
back to being vice president,

because a vice
ain'’t never did nothing!

Yeah, also,
she'’s not gonna catch us

because we are done doing music.

That'’s right.
All'’s well that ends well.

- Another one bites the dust.
- Happily ever after.

Hasta la vis-- Who is that?

Have we seen her before?

We have to go. We have to go.

- No, no. Come on.
- Who is that?

I don'’t think so.

Are you sure? She looks...

really familiar.

Nope, it'’s not someone I know.

You two!

Excuse me.

Are you...?

Vice Principal Mason,
thank goodness.

Have I got a dark
tongue twister for you.

The guidance counselor'’s
got gout again.

I know, so I'’m gonna need
your help today.

Hmm?

Hi, girls.

Something wrong?

I'’m fine.

I'’m... the vice principal.

You sure are.

I don'’t want you girls to worry.
Miss Masterson'’s gonna be fine.

She'’s not going to be fine.

Took her whole her whole leg,
toe to tooter.

So our school didn'’t have
a vice principal, right?

- No.
- And did you see Neighbors'’ eyes

do that thing
when she looked at her?

- Yeah.
- Almost like

she'’s some futuristic woman

specifically here in disguise

to come and get us.

Shall we go see
how bad this probably is?

- Lead the way.
- I will.

Slow and steady, Stephen.

A rushed job
is just a race to last place.

- Schneider!
- Ah!

And there goes
the quantum processor.

- What?
- Nothing major.

Um, we were just thinking
about some fun stuff.

Casual stuff.
Um, hypotheticals.

What would happen
if a M.O.M. sent a D.A.D?

Like, what would they do?
What would they look like?

Well, they would probably
beam in under some absurd cover,

try to catch you
causing an anomaly.

Then you'’d be detained,
tried and sent to detention.

Detention. Not bad.

- But detention in this context

is something
much different than...

Okay, you are used to.

Meh, they get it.
I was very clear.

They understand the rules.

We all, uh...

understand the rules.

The rules are the rules.

Okay, so there might
be a D.A.D. here,

- but it'’s not actually that bad.
- Yeah, detention.

We spend, like, half the year
in detention.

Plus, Schneider said they
actually have to catch us

causing an anomaly,
which isn'’t gonna happen

because we'’ve sworn off music
for the rest of the day.

And a vice...

Ain'’t never did nothing.

- So we good.
- We'’re so good!

Whoa!

Oh, my God!

Emile, a pillowcase? Seriously?

You couldn'’t have just said,

"Hey, come to the basement,
please"?

You psychopath.

At least you got a pillowcase.

I got a disgusting backpack!

- Sorry.
- Ah!

We didn'’t know
how else to smuggle you

- into our secret hideout.
- Smells disgusting in there.

What do you have in there,
Joyce, a compost?

We heard you doing muh-sic
in the bathroom earlier.

Hmm.

Yeah, that whole anomaly thing

is really crystallizing
for me right now.

Yeah, me too.

So, tell us about the muh-sic.

Okay, I cannot
stress this enough.

It'’s pronounced "music,"

and you should probably
just forget about that.

But how could we forget
something that'’s so beautiful?

Go on.

We wanted to show you
our special place

where we all come
to learn about...

mu...

sic.

Yes.

I don'’t know why that'’s so hard.

He'’s got something special,
that one.

And until we heard you
doing real...

music, we could only guess
what it was

from these cave paintings
we found.

- Hmm?
- Cave paintings.

- Okay. Sure.
- In the basement.

Clearly, there was music
in the ancient times,

but the adults now
won'’t even talk about it.

We long to be unrestrained
like our ancestors.

Yeah.

They look like
they were having fun.

And we'’ve been gathering
these mysterious relics.

We don'’t know what they are
or what they do,

but we'’re certain they have
something to do with muh-sic.

- Music.
- Tomato, tomato.

Okay, well,
that'’s a tape player.

It'’s an obsolete technology
for playing music.

Yup, and this right here
is a triangle.

And that right there is a kazoo.

And they'’re both
musical instruments.

And you can actually blow
into that one.

- B-B-Blow?
- That'’s right.

Wow!

It'’s beautiful.

Yeah.

Whoa.

I love it.

Okay, well, this has been
hilarious, but, um...

Yeah, yeah, we actually have...

- That thing.
- ...that thing we have to go to.

Wait.

You have to teach us

how to make music like you.

Davey, I'’ll die
if I don'’t hear you

make those mouth sounds again.

Full disclosure, I'’m gonna have
to immediately give in to that.

Yes, fully get it, but if we
teach them how to make music,

like good music
the way that we do it,

would probably cause
an even bigger anomaly.

And increase our chances of
being caught by that D.A.D. lady

who'’s already here
and clearly onto us.

Plus, the portal'’s almost ready,
so if we wait like 10 minutes,

we can just get away scot-free.

- On the other hand...

I mean, everyone deserves
to sing their...

♪ True heart'’s song ♪

But it has to be a secret.

That'’s better. Thank you.

Let'’s go.

♪ It was down in Louisiana ♪

♪ Right there in New Orleans ♪

- Just...
- ♪ Back there in the '’60s ♪

♪ Was a little teen queen ♪

♪ Fell then the lassie
in love with a lad ♪

♪ Till it took him to vindicate
the feelings she had ♪

♪ She pleaded as she promised
every prayer she could ♪

♪ Till everybody whispered
to her, "Lady B. Goode" ♪

What is this?

Your body is changing.

Oh, girl, I am having a day.

It'’s official.

I'’m paying Dean alimony.

Can you believe that S.O.B.?

♪ Go, lady, go, go ♪

♪ Go, lady, go, go ♪

♪ Go, lady, go, go ♪

♪ Go, lady, go, go ♪

- ♪ Lady B. Goode ♪

Whoo! Whoo!

Ahem, Vice Principal Mason...

What?
- ...I have some information

that you might want to know
about Davey and Jonesie.

Earlier today, I heard them...

...singing music.

...is what they were singing,
it was...

I'’ve-I'’ve never heard it before.

- Oh, my God.
- I don'’t think they understand.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Lots of progress today.

See you guys later!

See you tomorrow, okay?

Hey.

I know you'’ve caused an anomaly,

and the reason I know that
is there is a D.A.D. here.

And not just any D.A.D., Cheryl.

You-- Why do you know nothing?

Dude, calm down.

We get detention so much,
we keep snacks there.

It'’s no big deal.

No, this is not
regular detention.

This is a detention dimension
where, depending on your crimes,

you could be trapped
for thousands of years

in the 10th grade.

- What?
- Yeah. And you think that'’s bad?

I could be sent
to G.R.A.N.D.M.A.'’s.

Okay, wait, your grandma
is involved in this?

No, not my grandma. Gran--

G-R-A-N-D-M-A, a.k.a.,

Genetically Restructured

as a Nautically Diminished
Molecular Abnormal.

A.k.a., turned into
a sea cucumber.

A.k.a., an animal
with no brain.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.

- Imagine me with no brain.
Okay.

Why didn'’t you
tell us this earlier?

We wouldn'’t have
taught them music.

You taught them music?

It was our responsibility
as people with souls.

Yes, yes, okay?

Come on, Mr. S.

I mean, deep down, you must have
a true heart'’s song

that reminds you of yourself,

that can pull you out of even
your deepest, darkest moments.

Davey and Jonesie,

please report
to the vice principal'’s office.

Now.

Okay, you have to go now.

The portal'’s online. Let'’s go.

I was told to escort you to
Miss Mason'’s office personally,

in my capacity
as vice president.

A vice ain'’t never did nothing.

Yeah, so of course,
that'’s a totally normal thing

that would happen
if this was a regular--

Yes, so I'’m just gonna tell them
something real quick

that a teacher would say,
so excuse us.

Don'’t admit to anything.

Cheryl cannot detain you,
if she can'’t prove

you'’re not the Davey and Jonesie
of this world.

And she can'’t risk revealing
her true identity,

lest she cause
an anomaly herself.

So just play dumb, okay?

- Is that an okay?
- Yes!

I was acting dumb,
that'’s what I was doing.

- It'’s very good.
- And the Oscar goes to...

Thank you. Thank you so much.
I was really digging deep there.

Okay. She'’s waiting.
She'’s waiting.

- Right this way.
Where are we off to?

- Lock me up, you know?
- Show us the way.

Yep, I'’m sweating.

Davey, Jonesie,

I hear you'’ve been making music.

What'’s muh-sic?

Jingle bells.

Jingle bells.

Jingle all the...

Well played.

Okay.

I feel like we got off
on the wrong foot here.

So if we could talk
woman-to-woman,

that'’d be great.

Say we do know
what you'’re talking about.

Say we don'’t.

Say we do.

Say we don'’t.

Say that we do.

If we do and if we did,

then you would understand

that we'’re just victims here, right?

I mean, we were fun-loving BFFs.

Mm! And we'’re just trying
to follow our one true heart,

which, ah!

Girl boss. You get it.

She-E-O.

Yeah.

Okay, let'’s talk.

Woman-to-woman.

I used to work on an elite

Delinquent Acquisition
task force.

I brought down the biggest
criminals in the multiverse.

I wasn'’t just good at my job.

I was the best.

But after being betrayed
by a former friend,

I was demoted and sent to
the Juvenile Department to rot

until I closed 100,000 cases.

And you are my last case.

I do not believe
in the power of friendship.

I do not care about your hearts.

All I care about
is ending the nightmare

that my life has become.

So, cooperate with me now,

and I'’m willing
to commute your sentence.

A short stint in detention,
then you can return home

and I can return
to where I belong.

Everyone'’s happy.

But stand in my way,

and I will destroy you.

And not just with detention.

I will recommend to M.O.M.

that your memories
of each other be erased,

so that when you finally
do go back to 6689,

your days of being a couple
fun-loving BFFs will be over.

Permanently.

Holy [bleep].

Now she is good
at explaining things.

Whoa, okay,
clearly the juvenile department

has not mellowed her out at all.

I need to do something.

Everybody on the floor!

No. No, I need a distraction.

Doesn'’t your
soul ever cry out

to sing your one
true heart'’s song?

This bites.
It'’s all our fault.

I can'’t believe our insatiable
thirst for muh-sic

got Davey and Jonesie
into trouble.

How do we help?

With more muh-sic.

I mean, music.
What did I say?

Forget it.

Can'’t believe
I'’m gonna say this,

but Davey and Jonesie
were right.

Music does have the power

to pull you
out of your darkest moments.

Davey and Jonesie need you
to sing your true heart'’s song.

Okay, wait, whoa.

That'’s not registering
as music,

so luckily I have a plan B.

Why don'’t you try
my true heart'’s song?

Now you just push this button
and play it over the PA system.

There'’s one in my lab, okay?
Hurry.

Quickly now.

But sir,

what'’ll happen when everyone
hears the music?

Will we get in trouble?

Oh, yes.

Almost definitely.

Sorry, I'’m famously bad
at reassuring children,

so off you go.

Go!

This is your last chance.

Confess now, and it'’ll be
a slap on the wrist.

But drag this out,
and I will make you regret it.

This is for Davey and Jonesie.

We call it a true heart'’s song.

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪

Oh, God.

Well, it seems your friends'’
weird little stunt

had absolutely no payoff,
except to prove your guilt.

So without further ado...

- Is that a werewolf?
- Is that Principal Neighbors?

♪ Matter of fact ♪

♪ Let nothing hold you back ♪

♪ If the Scatman can do it,
so can you ♪

Schneider!

Is music forbidden in this world

because it turns adults
into werewolves?

Did you help our friends
play this song

as a diversion to save us?

This is your one
true heart'’s song?

- And if so, why?

But if you knew
about the werewolves,

then why didn'’t you tell us?

Just go!

I guess we'’ll go.

♪ Scatman ♪

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪

♪ If the Scatman can do it,
so can you ♪

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪

Oh! Hey, Cheryl.

How'’d it go?

Yikes.
Did you catch them?

No.

But I will.

Hmm.

'’Cause I'’m not about to let

two teenagers

destroy everything
I'’ve worked for.

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪

They can'’t run forever.

And when their luck runs out,

I will be there.

That'’s the spirit, girl.

Gluten-free snickerdoodle?

♪ Yeah, I'’m the Scatman ♪

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪

♪ I'’m the Scatman ♪