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1
00:00:02,450 --> 00:00:06,011
( whistling sprightly tune )
2
00:00:11,038 --> 00:00:13,731
Starring Andy Griffith...
3
00:00:13,771 --> 00:00:15,696
with Ronny Howard.
4
00:00:15,736 --> 00:00:19,627
Also starring Don Knotts.
5
00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:26,130
Hi, Miz Burton!
6
00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:27,297
Miz Burton!
7
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,761
She's a sweet little woman,
you know that?
8
00:00:29,791 --> 00:00:30,898
Yes, she is.
9
00:00:30,928 --> 00:00:32,155
Never complains.
10
00:00:32,195 --> 00:00:33,521
Never once have I heard
11
00:00:33,551 --> 00:00:35,786
the tiniest complaint
from that woman.
12
00:00:35,816 --> 00:00:36,783
Have you, Ange?
13
00:00:36,813 --> 00:00:38,509
I can't say that I have.
14
00:00:40,514 --> 00:00:42,419
What's she got to complain of?
15
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:46,080
You kiddin'? Sam.
16
00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:48,045
( makes gulping sounds )
17
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:49,182
All the time.
18
00:00:49,212 --> 00:00:50,359
You don't mean it.
19
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:51,745
Oh, don't strike a match
20
00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:53,800
if he's breathin'
in your direction.
21
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,366
( imitates explosion )
22
00:00:55,406 --> 00:00:56,583
I didn't know that.
23
00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:57,930
Oh, yeah.
24
00:00:57,969 --> 00:00:59,246
( clucks tongue )
25
00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:03,027
Howdy, Dick!
26
00:01:03,057 --> 00:01:04,164
Dick Rinnecker.
27
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,750
Hi, Dick!
28
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,066
He's got his hat on.
29
00:01:07,086 --> 00:01:08,383
Yeah, I noticed that.
30
00:01:08,423 --> 00:01:09,760
He must've heard
31
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,872
on the radio where the wind
might be comin' up today.
32
00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:16,572
I wouldn't wear one of them wigs
for all the money in the world.
33
00:01:16,602 --> 00:01:20,034
I'd live in terror I was gonna
get caught in a sudden wind.
34
00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:25,659
Ange?
35
00:01:25,689 --> 00:01:26,787
Hmm?
36
00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:29,151
Myra Koontz
from the lingerie shop.
37
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,417
Oh, yeah.
38
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,053
What's the matter?
39
00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:37,509
What do you mean?
40
00:01:37,539 --> 00:01:39,913
You're lookin' at Myra
and smilin' funny.
41
00:01:39,953 --> 00:01:42,317
Oh, well,
I was just thinkin', you know.
42
00:01:42,347 --> 00:01:45,330
You know the story
that's goin' around about her.
43
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,736
No, what story is that?
44
00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:48,073
Well, you know.
45
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:49,379
No, I don't.
46
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:50,546
What is it?
47
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,033
Aw, come on, you know.
48
00:01:52,073 --> 00:01:53,768
I don't know. Tell me the story.
49
00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:56,561
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell ya.
50
00:01:56,591 --> 00:01:57,758
It's just gossip.
51
00:01:57,788 --> 00:02:00,322
You know how I feel
about spreadin' gossip.
52
00:02:00,352 --> 00:02:03,304
Barn... come on.
53
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:06,855
Tell me the story about Myra.
54
00:02:06,895 --> 00:02:08,262
( chuckles )
55
00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,526
Well... ( clears throat )
56
00:02:10,556 --> 00:02:12,421
What they're tellin'
about her...
57
00:02:12,451 --> 00:02:13,419
Wait a minute.
58
00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:15,044
Ben Weaver's wavin' at us.
59
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:18,396
Hi, Ben!
60
00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:21,867
Anyways, Myra...
61
00:02:21,907 --> 00:02:24,281
You know, I don't think
that's a friendly wave.
62
00:02:24,301 --> 00:02:25,668
I think he wants us.
63
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:26,665
Oh, yeah?
64
00:02:26,695 --> 00:02:27,972
Yeah. Come on.
65
00:02:37,936 --> 00:02:39,173
Did you want us, Ben?
66
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,390
You're darn right.
67
00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:43,123
I called, but there
was no one in your office.
68
00:02:43,153 --> 00:02:45,228
No, we've been doing our
policin' on the street today.
69
00:02:45,258 --> 00:02:46,215
What's wrong?
70
00:02:46,255 --> 00:02:47,323
Well, plenty!
I'm being robbed.
71
00:02:47,353 --> 00:02:49,407
Robbed?!
Well, why didn't you say so?
72
00:02:49,447 --> 00:02:50,475
Oh, put that gun away.
73
00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,270
I'm not being robbed right now.
74
00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:53,986
I mean it's not
that kind of robbery.
75
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,998
Well, I just mean that things
are disappearing from the store.
76
00:02:57,038 --> 00:02:58,175
Well, when'd you notice it, Ben?
77
00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,292
BEN:
Well, just a minute ago.
78
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,237
I went to get a silver tea set
that we had
79
00:03:01,257 --> 00:03:02,594
and it was gone.
80
00:03:02,624 --> 00:03:04,619
I started checking and there's
lots more things missing.
81
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,484
Well, somebody's walking off
with that stuff.
82
00:03:06,524 --> 00:03:07,532
That's what's happening.
83
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:09,546
Do you think I need you
to tell me that?
84
00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:12,589
Come on, let's go inside,
Sheriff.
85
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,229
Business been
pretty good lately.
86
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:22,105
People have been
in from all over.
87
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,671
Well, you just put your mind
at ease, Mr. Weaver.
88
00:03:23,691 --> 00:03:25,536
This is just
a routine police matter.
89
00:03:25,556 --> 00:03:27,960
Lock the doors, Andy, and I'll
line 'em up against the wall.
90
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,017
All right, you...!
91
00:03:29,057 --> 00:03:30,324
Oh, Barney! Barney!
Do you want
to ruin me?
92
00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:31,890
Do you want to
break this case or not?
93
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,513
Jus-Just take it easy.
94
00:03:34,543 --> 00:03:36,688
This has got to be handled
with kid gloves, Sheriff.
95
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:37,935
I know, I know, I know, Ben.
96
00:03:37,974 --> 00:03:39,371
Ben, Barney was
just tryin' to help.
97
00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:41,107
Yeah... fat lot of thanks I got.
98
00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:42,792
Why don't you
just wander around?
99
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:44,997
Look around the store
while I talk to Ben.
100
00:03:45,027 --> 00:03:46,323
All right.
101
00:03:46,363 --> 00:03:49,455
If you want to pussyfoot around
about this, it's your business.
102
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:55,939
Ben, how do you know this stuff
ain't bein' lifted at night?
103
00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:57,545
You know, burglary?
104
00:03:57,575 --> 00:04:00,767
Well, I-I got a night
watchman, Asa Breeney.
105
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,662
Asa?
106
00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:03,929
Mmm.
107
00:04:03,969 --> 00:04:05,106
What's the matter?
108
00:04:05,136 --> 00:04:06,931
Well, Asa's gettin' pretty old.
109
00:04:06,961 --> 00:04:09,235
I just hope
he ain't dozin' on the job.
110
00:04:36,147 --> 00:04:37,404
How much you think
is missin', Ben?
111
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:39,539
Well, I don't know,
I haven't totaled it up,
112
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,105
but I can't afford it anyway.
113
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:43,658
What are you gonna do about
giving me police protection?
114
00:04:43,688 --> 00:04:44,865
We'll do what we can,
we'll do what we can,
115
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,920
but we can't stay here
every minute now.
116
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,676
We're not private detectives.
117
00:04:48,715 --> 00:04:50,252
But I'm bein' robbed blind!
118
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:52,007
I realize that.
119
00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:57,334
Barney!
120
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,640
Florence.
121
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,890
Now, the best thing for you
to do is keep your eyes open
122
00:05:02,929 --> 00:05:04,795
and if you see anything
suspicious, give us a call
123
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:05,922
and we'll come right over.
124
00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:07,298
Oh, I suppose you'd like for me
125
00:05:07,318 --> 00:05:09,094
to get you the crook's
name and address
126
00:05:09,114 --> 00:05:10,580
to save you the trouble?
127
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,044
That'd be a help, Ben.
128
00:05:13,074 --> 00:05:15,268
We'll have to be going now.
129
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,330
Barn...
130
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:21,393
Barn, let's go.
131
00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:23,108
Hey, Andy, you ever
see one of these?
132
00:05:23,128 --> 00:05:25,403
It's a beer can opener
with an umbrella on it.
133
00:05:25,423 --> 00:05:26,719
Oh. Hmm...
134
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,196
Make a nice gift, wouldn't it?
135
00:05:28,225 --> 00:05:30,380
Yeah. For Mother's Day.
136
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,155
( chuckling ):
Mother's Day...
137
00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:34,909
That way she could
open cans in the rain
138
00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:35,986
without gettin' her hands wet.
139
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:38,270
Yeah! You character.
140
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:40,903
"Without gettin'
her hands wet."
141
00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:44,025
Hey, hey...
tell me about Myra Koontz.
142
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:45,232
( clears throat )
143
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,888
Well, Myra...
144
00:05:46,928 --> 00:05:48,195
BEN:
Barney!
145
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,868
Put that back or give me
a dollar and a quarter.
146
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,736
Come on, Ange.
147
00:06:07,596 --> 00:06:10,389
Sarah, get me five-nine-six.
148
00:06:10,419 --> 00:06:11,586
Oh, I'm fine.
149
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,521
( clears throat )
150
00:06:13,551 --> 00:06:16,443
( humming )
151
00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:18,139
Thelma Lou? Barn.
152
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:20,344
Yeah. Fine.
153
00:06:20,373 --> 00:06:23,266
Listen, this thing tonight,
honey, the movies?
154
00:06:23,306 --> 00:06:25,032
Well, I'm afraid it's out.
155
00:06:25,072 --> 00:06:27,027
Well, somethin' big's come up.
156
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:28,463
Yeah, police business.
157
00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:31,884
No, it has nothing to do
with trash cans.
158
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,919
It's a stakeout!
159
00:06:33,949 --> 00:06:36,114
Yeah, Weaver's store.
160
00:06:36,154 --> 00:06:38,547
Well, they been movin' stuff
out of there
161
00:06:38,577 --> 00:06:41,141
and I got a hunch
they might be back. Yeah.
162
00:06:41,171 --> 00:06:43,046
Well, sure,
I'm goin' in there alone.
163
00:06:43,076 --> 00:06:45,231
I don't want to bother Andy
with it.
164
00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:46,398
He's a family man.
165
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:48,333
It's gotta be done.
166
00:06:48,363 --> 00:06:51,255
Well, listen, honey,
there's one more thing.
167
00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:54,816
In case somethin' happens...
well, I want you to know
168
00:06:54,856 --> 00:06:58,048
that you're the only one
I ever gave a hoot for.
169
00:06:58,088 --> 00:06:59,315
Okay?
170
00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:02,208
And we'll go to the movie
tomorrow night, okay?
171
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,873
Okay, keep a good thought.
172
00:07:03,903 --> 00:07:05,340
Yeah, I'll be careful.
173
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:06,806
Right.
174
00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:31,192
( door slams shut )
175
00:09:02,663 --> 00:09:04,368
( clicking )
176
00:09:04,408 --> 00:09:06,683
( breathing heavily )
177
00:09:22,193 --> 00:09:23,261
( glasses clinking )
178
00:09:25,894 --> 00:09:26,901
( loud thud )
179
00:09:42,053 --> 00:09:43,679
TOY CLOWN:
Just keep laughing!
180
00:09:43,719 --> 00:09:46,043
( goofy laugh )
181
00:09:46,073 --> 00:09:48,068
Jabber me Kazooks!
182
00:09:48,108 --> 00:09:49,554
( goofy laugh )
183
00:10:03,997 --> 00:10:06,222
( rings loudly )
184
00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:10,671
( drawer clatters )
185
00:10:13,932 --> 00:10:15,379
( loud clattering )
186
00:10:41,612 --> 00:10:43,288
( loud clanging )
187
00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:07,217
Who's there?
188
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,332
Who's there?
189
00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:11,257
You're all under arrest!
190
00:11:11,297 --> 00:11:12,524
I got you covered!
191
00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:15,068
I got you covered!
192
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,212
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
193
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:18,828
It's me, Ben Weaver!
194
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,544
They're all over the place.
195
00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:21,591
Where?
196
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:22,708
Andy, I'm glad you're here!
197
00:11:22,728 --> 00:11:26,090
I've been standin'
off the whole gang!
198
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,616
What gang?
199
00:11:27,656 --> 00:11:29,621
Huh? Wha... wha...?
200
00:11:32,643 --> 00:11:33,720
Nobody here but us?
201
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,107
It looks that way.
202
00:11:35,147 --> 00:11:38,199
Barney, quit wavin'
that gun around
203
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,935
and put it in your holster.
204
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,032
It's a good thing
205
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:42,339
you guys didn't run
into one another.
206
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,994
Somebody might have got hurt.
207
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:45,520
What are you fellas doin' here?
208
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:46,927
I thought it was crooks.
209
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,303
Crooks?! There was
enough going on here
210
00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:49,650
to wake the dead
211
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,166
and you sleep through
the whole thing!
212
00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:54,159
I did not sleep through
the whole thing... I got up.
213
00:11:54,199 --> 00:11:56,582
I guess this proves you
were right, Sheriff.
214
00:11:56,612 --> 00:11:59,066
I probably was robbed
during the night.
215
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:01,979
Well, it's easy enough with
Rip Van Winkle here on guard!
216
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,492
Well, actually, Ben,
it proves just the opposite.
217
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,667
What do you mean?
Well, I been studyin' about it
218
00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:09,659
and I believe that stuff had
to be taken in broad daylight
219
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,285
right durin' business hours.
220
00:12:11,325 --> 00:12:13,280
Yeah?
ANDY:
You said there was
221
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,525
a dozen or a couple
dozen things missin'.
222
00:12:15,544 --> 00:12:17,549
If the crooks was
comin' in here at night,
223
00:12:17,579 --> 00:12:18,657
they wouldn't stop at that.
224
00:12:18,677 --> 00:12:19,953
They'd move out the whole store.
225
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,906
You see, Ben? It doesn't
happen at night when I'm here.
226
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,080
It happens during the day,
when you're here.
227
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,377
Oh...! Pipe down!
228
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:27,823
Just-just stay awake.
229
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:28,811
What do you want?
230
00:12:28,841 --> 00:12:30,108
I'm up now, ain't I?
231
00:12:30,138 --> 00:12:32,621
So that's what it is,
huh... shoplifters?
232
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,554
Ben, you're bein' robbed blind
in broad daylight.
233
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:37,120
Well, I'll be dogged.
234
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,005
Mmm.
235
00:12:39,913 --> 00:12:43,075
Let's go, Barney.
236
00:12:43,105 --> 00:12:45,050
It was dark in
the store, Andy...
237
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,366
I know. I know.
238
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:47,893
( mumbling )
239
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,199
Morning, Barn.
240
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:00,491
I say, morning, Barn.
241
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:01,887
Oh, morning, Andy.
242
00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:04,052
Well, you look like a man
with a thought.
243
00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:06,256
I got more than a thought.
I got a theory.
244
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,353
Huh? What about?
245
00:13:07,383 --> 00:13:09,378
About who's been
doing all the stealing
246
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:10,446
from Weaver's store.
247
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,071
Oh, really?
248
00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:13,338
Want to hear my theory?
249
00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:14,655
I sure do.
250
00:13:14,675 --> 00:13:15,672
It's not very pretty.
251
00:13:15,702 --> 00:13:16,809
That's all right.
252
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,495
As a matter of fact...
253
00:13:18,535 --> 00:13:20,231
it may come as quite a shock.
254
00:13:20,271 --> 00:13:21,478
That's okay.
255
00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:23,592
Okay.
256
00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:24,689
Ready to hear it?
257
00:13:24,729 --> 00:13:25,966
I'm braced.
258
00:13:25,986 --> 00:13:27,462
All right, let's play it
question and answer.
259
00:13:27,492 --> 00:13:28,949
Now, I'll ask the questions,
260
00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:31,093
and you answer
yes or no, okay?
Okay.
261
00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:32,510
All right, here we go.
262
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,293
(A) Whose store is being robbed?
263
00:13:37,178 --> 00:13:39,532
Uh... No?
264
00:13:39,572 --> 00:13:41,517
What do you mean "no"?
265
00:13:41,547 --> 00:13:43,063
You said answer yes or no.
266
00:13:43,093 --> 00:13:44,868
I meant one word...
Answer one word.
267
00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:46,255
You didn't say that.
268
00:13:46,295 --> 00:13:48,449
All right, let's start
again from the beginning
269
00:13:48,469 --> 00:13:50,584
and this time answer
in one word, okay?
270
00:13:50,624 --> 00:13:52,260
Okay.
All right.
271
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,816
(A) Whose store is being robbed?
272
00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:55,442
Weaver's.
Right.
273
00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,574
(B) Who's going to collect
the insurance on those thefts?
274
00:13:58,604 --> 00:13:59,611
Weaver.
275
00:13:59,641 --> 00:14:01,496
Right. Right, right.
276
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,521
(C) Who was creeping around
in that store last night?
277
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,499
You were.
278
00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:06,244
What do you mean, I were?
279
00:14:06,274 --> 00:14:07,641
You were.
280
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,725
'Course, I know
that's two words.
281
00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:12,289
Now, don't get
purposely obtuse, Andy.
282
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,064
The answer is Weaver!
283
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,122
Well, I missed it.
284
00:14:15,152 --> 00:14:17,207
Well, play the game!
Play the game!
285
00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:19,571
I hate it when you get obtuse.
286
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,286
Now, where'd I leave off?
"C."
287
00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:23,201
(All right. D) Who
in their entire life
288
00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:25,635
ever got a bargain
in Weaver's store?
289
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,029
Uh... Weaver?
290
00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:29,256
Aw, come on, Andy,
291
00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:30,672
I'm trying to give you
the name of the criminal
292
00:14:30,692 --> 00:14:32,049
and you won't accept it.
293
00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,785
The answer is nobody!
294
00:14:33,824 --> 00:14:35,480
Nobody's the criminal?
295
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,715
Boy, when you get obtuse...
296
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,291
Well, I'm sorry, Barn,
but I just don't know
297
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:40,537
what you're aiming at.
298
00:14:40,557 --> 00:14:42,692
Well, then let me
spell it out for you.
299
00:14:42,722 --> 00:14:44,847
Weaver is stealing
from his own store.
300
00:14:44,886 --> 00:14:46,064
Oh, come on.
301
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,879
For the insurance!
Don't you see, Andy?
302
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:49,774
He spirits those things
out of the store,
303
00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:51,310
collects on the insurance
304
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,435
and then sells
the merchandise besides.
305
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:54,732
He gets double on everything.
306
00:14:54,771 --> 00:14:57,395
Oh, Barney, that's just
plain nonsense.
307
00:14:57,435 --> 00:14:59,559
Weaver's no crook.
308
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,973
He-He's a sharp
businessman, maybe,
309
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:03,230
but he wouldn't steal.
310
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:05,295
He's one of our
most respected citizens,
311
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:07,449
one of our best
church-going members.
312
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,946
He knows every hymn in the book.
313
00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,332
Oh, that's just a front.
314
00:15:10,362 --> 00:15:11,669
You watch him sometime
when we're singing
315
00:15:11,699 --> 00:15:13,165
"Leaning
on The Everlasting Arms."
316
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,250
He don't even know the words!
He just moves his lips.
317
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:16,536
Well, nevertheless,
318
00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:18,930
your theory about Weaver
stealing from himself
319
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,766
is just plain hogwash.
320
00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:27,369
Want to hear another theory?
321
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:28,516
No.
Asa.
322
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,997
Barney... Now,
what we're looking for
323
00:15:32,027 --> 00:15:35,728
is a plain, ordinary shoplifter.
324
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:38,650
Now, the store's going to
open in about 15 minutes.
325
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:40,356
Why don't you go on over there
326
00:15:40,386 --> 00:15:41,782
and give Ben the feeling
327
00:15:41,812 --> 00:15:44,206
we're giving him
a little cooperation.
328
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,308
If that's the way you want it.
329
00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:48,934
It is.
330
00:15:48,974 --> 00:15:50,979
Now, be as inconspicuous
as possible
331
00:15:50,999 --> 00:15:52,396
and keep your eyes open.
332
00:15:52,436 --> 00:15:55,149
I'll be over and relieve
you after a while.
333
00:16:00,475 --> 00:16:02,340
Will you take one look in
the trunk of Weaver's car?
334
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,428
No.
335
00:16:07,228 --> 00:16:09,592
( sighs )
336
00:16:12,954 --> 00:16:14,151
Morning, Ben.
337
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,457
Oh, morning, Sheriff.
338
00:16:15,477 --> 00:16:16,774
Everything all right?
339
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,021
Oh, as far as I know.
340
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:20,435
I've been keeping my eyes open.
341
00:16:21,971 --> 00:16:23,337
Where's Barney?
342
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,063
Barney?
343
00:16:25,103 --> 00:16:26,928
How should I know?
344
00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:28,325
Ain't he here?
345
00:16:28,365 --> 00:16:30,619
I sent him over here
about an hour ago.
346
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,155
Well, I ain't seen him.
347
00:16:32,185 --> 00:16:33,182
Huh.
348
00:16:48,992 --> 00:16:50,259
Psst.
349
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:53,222
Psst.
350
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:55,586
Andy.
351
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,441
Barney?
352
00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:07,835
( whispering ):
Keep your voice down.
353
00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:08,962
Don't look at me.
354
00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:10,428
Just act natural.
355
00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:11,565
Now, stand by.
356
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,889
I got my eyes
on our bird right now.
357
00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:15,455
You mean the shoplifter?
358
00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:16,852
Yeah. Keep moving.
359
00:17:16,892 --> 00:17:18,348
Wait for my signal.
360
00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,712
Well... Barney... I
said go, go, go, go!
361
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:21,999
All right.
362
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:51,015
( muffled sneeze )
363
00:18:07,893 --> 00:18:10,586
No, thank you, Leon.
364
00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:12,152
No, thank you.
365
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,748
Scram, Leon, scram.
366
00:18:23,573 --> 00:18:25,329
No, Leon.
367
00:18:25,368 --> 00:18:27,493
( grunting urgently )
368
00:18:29,338 --> 00:18:31,543
Please, Leon, I am on a case!
369
00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:36,999
Say, isn't that Barney Fife?
370
00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:41,288
Say, it does
look like him,
doesn't it?
371
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:44,380
Except the dummy's
much better looking.
372
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,393
( laughter )
373
00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:48,580
What's going on here?
374
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,647
Something wrong...?
375
00:18:49,677 --> 00:18:50,874
Barney?!
376
00:18:50,914 --> 00:18:52,580
If you'd just waited
a couple of more minutes...
377
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,345
I'll have to make my move now.
378
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,230
Follow me. Andy!
379
00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:01,766
All right, sweetheart,
the game's up.
380
00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:03,731
This is the end
of the line for you.
381
00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,158
What? What's the meaning
of this?
382
00:19:05,188 --> 00:19:06,624
Barney, what are you doing?
383
00:19:06,654 --> 00:19:09,447
I'm nabbing your shoplifter,
that's what I'm doing.
384
00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:10,474
Shoplifter?
385
00:19:10,514 --> 00:19:11,960
Are you accusing me...?
386
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,327
Well, of all the nerve.
387
00:19:13,357 --> 00:19:14,833
How dare you!
388
00:19:14,873 --> 00:19:16,100
Barney, are you sure?
Are you absolutely sure?
389
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,394
I'd stake my reputation
as a police officer.
390
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:19,711
She's the one, all right.
391
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:21,028
A stranger in town, too.
392
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,264
Uh, uh, folks,
393
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,758
would you just go on back
about your business.
394
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,583
Go on about your
shopping, ladies.
395
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,179
Boys, go about your business.
396
00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:29,346
Uh, ma'am...
397
00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:31,192
Just take a look
in the bag, Andy.
398
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,309
That's all you need.
399
00:19:32,329 --> 00:19:33,656
Are you out of your mind?
400
00:19:33,695 --> 00:19:35,531
The bag, sweetheart...
Empty it out!
401
00:19:35,561 --> 00:19:37,556
You mean you want to see
what I have in my bag?
402
00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:39,511
That's right,
sweetheart.
Very well!
403
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:42,493
You see? This is all
I have in here.
404
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:44,957
My knitting... and this.
405
00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:47,690
I always carry this with me
wherever I go.
406
00:19:49,286 --> 00:19:51,451
Uh... a Bible?
407
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,528
Barney!
408
00:19:52,548 --> 00:19:54,573
ANDY:
Ben, take it easy,
just take it easy.
409
00:19:54,613 --> 00:19:57,755
Ma'am, I'm afraid we've
made a terrible mistake.
410
00:19:57,794 --> 00:19:59,520
You certainly have.
411
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,782
What I should do
is sue this store.
412
00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:04,857
Sue it for every penny
they've got.
413
00:20:04,897 --> 00:20:07,620
Oh... please, madam,
we all make mistakes.
414
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:10,073
Sheriff, get him out of here!
415
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:11,250
All right, Ben.
Come on, Barn.
416
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:12,647
I saw her. I saw her
with my own eyes.
417
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:13,634
Forget it, Barn.
418
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:15,240
This is
a terrible disgrace to me.
419
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,308
I seen her with my own eyes.
420
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:17,724
Now, I couldn't have been wrong!
421
00:20:17,764 --> 00:20:18,722
I just couldn't have!
422
00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:20,258
Just take it easy, Barn.
423
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:21,455
BEN:
Barney!
424
00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:23,749
Bring back that jacket and hat.
425
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,487
I was just trying
to help you is all.
426
00:20:34,152 --> 00:20:36,776
Barney, you made a couple
of mistakes in there.
427
00:20:36,816 --> 00:20:37,853
In the first place,
428
00:20:37,883 --> 00:20:39,858
you've got to be
awful, awful careful
429
00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:41,514
of who you accuse
of shoplifting.
430
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,299
But, Andy, I seen her
with my own eyes.
431
00:20:43,339 --> 00:20:44,347
Now, how much more careful...?
432
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,773
And in the...
in the second place,
433
00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:48,227
you never make your
arrest inside the store.
434
00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:49,573
No matter what a person's got
435
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:50,840
on them inside the store,
436
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:52,995
they can always claim
they was gonna pay for it.
437
00:20:53,025 --> 00:20:55,189
But what's that got to do
with the fact that...
438
00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:57,683
But when...
when you get them outside,
439
00:20:57,713 --> 00:21:00,586
and they got anything
they don't have
a sales slip for...
440
00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:02,182
Andy, you want to just
postpone the lecture?
441
00:21:02,211 --> 00:21:04,037
Right now, I just want
to get out of here
442
00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:05,144
and forget the whole thing.
443
00:21:05,174 --> 00:21:06,171
Don't go.
444
00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:09,563
I got a little line
on a suspect myself.
445
00:21:09,593 --> 00:21:11,239
Huh? You've
got a suspect?
446
00:21:11,259 --> 00:21:12,406
Well, who is he?
447
00:21:12,426 --> 00:21:13,563
Is he inside the store?
448
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:14,889
Just coming out.
449
00:21:15,957 --> 00:21:17,822
There's our man now.
450
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:19,448
Huh?!
451
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:20,515
Let's go.
452
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:22,949
Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
453
00:21:22,979 --> 00:21:24,335
What? Oh, you again.
454
00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:25,542
Yes, ma'am.
455
00:21:25,572 --> 00:21:27,418
Barney, go get me
a bathroom scales.
456
00:21:27,438 --> 00:21:29,542
Bathroom...
Go get it now.
457
00:21:29,562 --> 00:21:32,794
You want me to open my bag up
and empty it for you?
458
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,570
No, ma'am, that
won't be necessary.
459
00:21:34,589 --> 00:21:36,505
What are you doing, Sheriff?!
460
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,921
Don't tell me you're bothering
461
00:21:37,951 --> 00:21:39,487
this sweet
little old lady again.
462
00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:42,180
Yes, he is, and I'm getting
sick and tired of it, too.
463
00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:44,185
This time I am going to sue.
464
00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:45,262
Andy!
465
00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:46,260
Take it easy, Ben.
466
00:21:46,290 --> 00:21:47,257
Here's the scale.
467
00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:48,335
Just put it right down there.
468
00:21:48,355 --> 00:21:49,861
Now you want to step
up on there?
469
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:50,918
No, I don't.
470
00:21:50,948 --> 00:21:51,956
Just-Just step right up there.
471
00:21:51,985 --> 00:21:53,841
I don't see
any... reason.
472
00:21:55,177 --> 00:21:57,751
163 pounds?
473
00:21:57,791 --> 00:21:59,367
Wow. She must be solid.
474
00:21:59,407 --> 00:22:01,870
I only weigh 132 myself.
475
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,461
I can't believe all that
weight's flesh and bones.
476
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,027
You sure you don't have
477
00:22:07,057 --> 00:22:10,149
a few other items you'd
like to tell us about?
478
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:13,551
BARNEY:
Look at that!
479
00:22:13,581 --> 00:22:15,257
A traveling pawn shop!
480
00:22:15,277 --> 00:22:17,720
See, I told you I saw
her with my own eyes.
481
00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:18,987
See, I had her cold!
482
00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:21,571
You knew, too, didn't
you, Ange, you son of a gun?
483
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:22,867
What tipped you off?
484
00:22:22,897 --> 00:22:23,945
Well, I'll tell you, Ben.
485
00:22:23,965 --> 00:22:25,600
Inside the store, there,
486
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:27,176
I accidentally bumped into her
487
00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:28,363
and she clanked.
488
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:29,670
( clanking )
489
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:31,825
And little old ladies
ought never to clank.
490
00:22:31,855 --> 00:22:33,500
Unless they're headed
for the clink.
491
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,797
( laughing )
492
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:36,692
All right, come on.
493
00:22:36,712 --> 00:22:38,059
Let's go.
Let's move it.
494
00:22:38,079 --> 00:22:39,046
Come on, come on.
495
00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:40,253
Take the scales back.
496
00:22:40,273 --> 00:22:42,238
Let's go, come on.
497
00:22:46,747 --> 00:22:48,044
A little time behind bars
498
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:52,323
may cure you of your
taking ways, lady.
499
00:22:52,353 --> 00:22:55,036
Well, the Weaver case
is solved and closed.
500
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:56,662
Right.
501
00:22:56,702 --> 00:22:59,195
Try to put something over
on the law around here, huh?
502
00:22:59,225 --> 00:23:01,091
Yeah.
503
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,435
Yeah, it feels good to be able
to relax, you know that?
504
00:23:03,455 --> 00:23:06,088
Yeah, it sure does.
505
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:09,609
Hey, hey, now would be
a good time to tell me.
506
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:10,946
Tell you what?
507
00:23:10,976 --> 00:23:13,050
You know, that story that's
going around about Myra Koontz.
508
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,437
Oh, that.
509
00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,474
Yeah.
510
00:23:15,504 --> 00:23:16,512
You really don't know?
511
00:23:16,541 --> 00:23:18,636
No, I don't know.
512
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,162
Well, okay.
513
00:23:20,202 --> 00:23:21,589
You're gonna love this.
514
00:23:21,629 --> 00:23:22,766
Well, you remember when
515
00:23:22,796 --> 00:23:23,903
that fella came through
from Chattanooga?
516
00:23:23,923 --> 00:23:25,160
Where's your gun?
517
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:27,813
Huh?
Your gun. Did you
leave it in the car?
518
00:23:27,853 --> 00:23:29,179
All right, hand it over!
519
00:23:29,219 --> 00:23:30,247
Come on!
520
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:32,910
Hand it over.
521
00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:39,603
Hey, Barn?
522
00:23:39,633 --> 00:23:42,466
Tell me the story
about Myra Koontz.
35193
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