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♪ Here's the story ♪
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♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
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♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
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♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
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♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
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♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
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♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
19
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Alice? Hmm?
20
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,933
How come we buy the
same things every week?
21
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,458
Maybe it's because we got
the same kids every week.
22
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,921
Mother! Alice! CAROL: Hi, hon.
23
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Guess what happened
at school today.
24
00:01:37,147 --> 00:01:38,391
What?
25
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:39,859
I was picked from
all the kids at school
26
00:01:39,883 --> 00:01:41,749
to be on a television show.
27
00:01:41,818 --> 00:01:43,098
On a television show?
28
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:45,553
Yeah. The one called
Question the Kids.
29
00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:48,134
That's the one where
kids from different schools
30
00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,836
compete against one another.
31
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Right. Oh, that's
wonderful, sweetheart.
32
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Congratulations, Cindy.
33
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When are you going to be on TV?
34
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Well... I'm not sure I am
going to be on television,
35
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but I got picked!
36
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,286
You got picked to do what?
37
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,688
Well, you see,
38
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,901
there are different
tests for different grades,
39
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,659
and I got picked to take
the test for my grade
40
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,822
to see who gets picked
to be on television.
41
00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:12,497
Oh, well, that's
still terrific, honey.
42
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,899
Big deal.
43
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I got picked, too, for my grade.
44
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Both of you got picked?!
45
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,470
That's terrific.
46
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,150
Boy, we've really
got some brains
47
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:22,518
in this family, huh, Alice?
48
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,859
Yeah, two eggheads
in the same nest.
49
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:26,907
Lots of kids got
picked to take the test,
50
00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:28,875
but only four get
to be on television.
51
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,765
So we'll have to study real hard
52
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,201
or we won't even
have a chance to win.
53
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:36,855
It'll be a cinch...
for me, anyway.
54
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,372
Too bad Bobby's suffering
55
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,677
from a lack of
confidence, isn't it?
56
00:02:56,577 --> 00:03:00,062
Hey, Bobby... I've
got a great idea.
57
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,062
What?
58
00:03:01,131 --> 00:03:02,631
We both have to take a test
59
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:05,900
to be on the television show,
so why don't we study together?
60
00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:07,135
I don't have time.
61
00:03:07,204 --> 00:03:08,264
Why not?
62
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,121
I'm busy.
63
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,457
I'm building a real Indian tepee
64
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,959
like I saw in the movies.
65
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,611
What's so important
about building an old tepee?
66
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,547
Just ask any old Indian.
67
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,404
I've got to wash my hair today.
68
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It looks awful.
69
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,151
I've got to study my French.
70
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,542
Lately, it sounds
like Pig Latin.
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00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,612
Jan?
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00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,612
Mm-hmm.
73
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,813
Would you help me study?
74
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,158
I'm sorry, Cindy, I can't.
75
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I've got to wash my hair.
76
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,618
Can't you wash it tomorrow?
77
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,330
What? And take a chance
78
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,122
of having oily follicles?
79
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,402
Would you help me study, Marcia?
80
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:47,525
Can't, Cindy.
81
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,929
I've got to study this
French vocabulary.
82
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,209
Then I guess I
might as well forget
83
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about being on television.
84
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,248
You mean you made it?
85
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,117
You mean you got picked
to take that television test
86
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,151
that we were talking about?
87
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,175
Yeah.
88
00:04:03,227 --> 00:04:04,771
Well, sure, we'll help you.
89
00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:05,893
You will?!
90
00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:07,211
Sure.
91
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,542
Gee, do you have to
learn both those big books?
92
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:14,169
Oh, no. All of these, too.
93
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,593
Hey, uh, Bobby,
94
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,039
aren't you supposed
to be studying?
95
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,173
What for?
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00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,764
For that test for
the television show.
97
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,115
Don't you want to be on TV?
98
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,901
Sure, but I know all that stuff.
99
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,998
Cindy's really
studying for her test.
100
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,888
Maybe I'm smarter than she is.
101
00:04:33,957 --> 00:04:36,307
You're not too smart
about putting up a tepee.
102
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:37,487
Hey, come on, let's help him.
103
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,877
Hold it!
104
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,663
I know all about
putting up one of these.
105
00:04:41,732 --> 00:04:44,433
Oh, well, listen to
Big Chief Know-It-All.
106
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,038
Hey, you start.
107
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,508
Okay. Go.
108
00:04:53,577 --> 00:04:56,278
Uh-huh. Just you, the
Swansons and the Clarks.
109
00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:58,480
Yeah, no, no, no, just
wear something casual.
110
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,115
Mike's going to barbecue.
111
00:05:00,184 --> 00:05:03,251
Okay, right, yeah.
Saturday the third, okay?
112
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,287
Bye-bye.
113
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:07,272
Hey, you guys, look!
114
00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:15,397
Wow!
115
00:05:15,466 --> 00:05:16,731
Not bad.
116
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,267
See, I told you I could
do it all by myself.
117
00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:20,552
Hey!
118
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:27,676
Look like you big mistake.
119
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,474
Hey, Alice, I
think this solution's
120
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,077
finally getting the
rust off the barbecue.
121
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,800
The Watsons got
some special stuff
122
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,046
they just sprayed on the grill
123
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,502
that ate the rust right away.
124
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,516
Well, why don't we use that?
125
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,140
'Cause it ate the grill, too.
126
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,241
Oh.
127
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,687
Mike? Yeah?
128
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,988
I just talked to the
Clarks and the Bernsteins,
129
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,656
and they said the third
would be just great.
130
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,358
Hey, good. Oh, listen.
131
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,127
I forgot to tell you I ran into
Ross Allen and Don Metzger,
132
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,394
and they'd heard about the
party from Chuck Swanson,
133
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,629
so I had to invite them, too.
134
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,203
Oh, but, honey, if we invite
135
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,382
the Allens and the Metzgers,
136
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:57,338
then we're going
to have to invite
137
00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:58,527
the Kaufmans and the Burkes.
138
00:05:58,575 --> 00:05:59,785
Well, why don't
we ask them, too?
139
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,877
Steaks for 14 people?
140
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,889
Well, I could take
a loan on the house.
141
00:06:03,913 --> 00:06:05,591
Mrs. Brady, why don't
we have a Mexican dinner?
142
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,215
It would cost a lot less.
143
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,128
Hey, Alice, that
sounds like a great idea.
144
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:10,579
Listen, I thought you
wanted me to barbecue.
145
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,337
I've got some great
Mexican recipes.
146
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,706
They come in three
degrees: hot, super hot...
147
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,008
and pass the fire extinguisher.
148
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,421
I think hot'll be hot enough.
149
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,222
I'll bet that "pass the
fire extinguisher" one
150
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,595
is really something special.
151
00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:23,798
Automatically makes
you a Mexican citizen.
152
00:06:23,866 --> 00:06:26,401
I spent all afternoon
cleaning the barbecue.
153
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,913
Can I see some of those recipes?
154
00:06:27,937 --> 00:06:29,870
Yeah, sure. Oh, good.
155
00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:30,979
Carol?
156
00:06:31,007 --> 00:06:33,174
Yeah?
157
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,923
What about my barbecue?
158
00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:38,997
Oh!
159
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,066
It looks just terrific.
160
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,200
Adios.
161
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,437
I spent all afternoon
cleaning the barbecue...
162
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,073
Really looks terrific.
163
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,279
A-ha! Here's one.
164
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:57,115
Who gave the famous
speech that started,
165
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,184
"Four score and
seven years ago..."?
166
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,385
Abraham Lincoln.
167
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:01,753
That's right.
168
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,599
I'm going to give you
one to test your logic,
169
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,868
so listen real carefully.
170
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,202
It's tricky. Okay.
171
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,537
You're the bus driver,
and the bus is empty.
172
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:11,496
At your first stop,
ten people get on.
173
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:15,133
At your second stop,
nine people get off,
174
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,567
but two more get on.
175
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,069
Okay? Okay.
176
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,749
Okay. At your next stop,
177
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,208
two people get on,
but four more get off.
178
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,810
You got that?
179
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,344
Got it. Okay.
180
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,556
Now here's your question.
181
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,092
What's the name
of the bus driver?
182
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,766
The name of the bus driver?
183
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:32,835
Yeah.
184
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,919
How should I know?
185
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,098
Cindy Brady.
186
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,500
I said you were the bus driver.
187
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,835
I told you it was tricky.
188
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,558
That was real tricky.
189
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,660
Okay, now here's
another one, Cindy.
190
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:43,729
See if you can get this.
191
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,397
It's tricky, now. You ready?
192
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,665
I'm ready.
193
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:47,776
All right. There's a rooster,
194
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,401
and he's sitting
on top of the house
195
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,968
and it has a slanted roof.
196
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,139
Now, when he lays an
egg, which side will it roll off?
197
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,584
It won't roll off at all,
198
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,686
'cause roosters don't lay eggs.
199
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,776
That's right.
200
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,165
That's using logic.
201
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,084
Mrs. Brady?
202
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,296
Yeah. I found that magazine
203
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,320
with the recipes in it.
204
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,899
Oh, good, we can get started
205
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,872
on our smorgasbord menu.
206
00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:13,491
What smorgasbord menu?
207
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,121
For our party on the tenth.
208
00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:17,345
What happened to
our party on the third?
209
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,930
Oh! Didn't I tell you?
210
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,609
The Kaufmans and the Burkes
couldn't make it on the third,
211
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,411
so we switched it to the tenth.
212
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:26,037
What about all
that Mexican food?
213
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,972
Oh, honey, well, see,
214
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,985
the Swansons and the Allens
have guests that weekend,
215
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,255
and the Metzgers' uncle is
visiting them from Seattle,
216
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,023
so they have to
bring them along,
217
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,558
and that's just too many
people for a sit-down dinner.
218
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,031
So instead of Mexican food
219
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,466
on the third, we're
going to have
220
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,446
smorgasbord on the tenth. Right.
221
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:44,138
We not only change dates,
we change continents.
222
00:08:44,207 --> 00:08:46,436
Oh, that's right,
today's the big day
223
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:48,003
of the TV test, isn't it?
224
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,505
I got it down cool.
225
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,462
Yeah, good luck.
226
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,463
Good luck, honey.
227
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,597
How about you, Cindy?
228
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,781
Are you ready for it?
229
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:56,028
Well, I'll just try
to do my best.
230
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,703
Well, honey, that's
all any of us can do.
231
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,139
Bye-bye. Good luck.
232
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,123
I still don't understand
233
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:03,302
why we're having smorgasbord
234
00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:06,077
when we've got 45
pounds of Mexican food?
235
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,190
And the party's on
the tenth, not the third.
236
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:12,217
I wonder if I'm invited.
237
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,646
Find anything interesting
238
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:15,214
for our smorgasbord, Alice?
239
00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:16,805
Well, nothing I can pronounce.
240
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:17,806
Here's one that sounds good,
241
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:18,918
but it's complicated.
242
00:09:18,942 --> 00:09:20,152
I don't know if you can make it.
243
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:23,712
It's, uh, a recipe
for sma kottbullar.
244
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,948
If you can say
it, I can make it.
245
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:28,316
Oh, here's some more.
246
00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:31,653
There's, uh... rhabarb bragrot
247
00:09:31,722 --> 00:09:34,789
persch torsk... schlot steak
248
00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:36,936
and that old
standby, frikadeller.
249
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,159
Such language!
250
00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:40,261
I'm glad the children
aren't around.
251
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,007
I can't wait to see how
this dinner turns out.
252
00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:45,149
I've got some more recipes
in that magazine in my room.
253
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,519
I'll get it. Okay.
254
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,288
Mom! Mom!
255
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,056
I won! I won!
256
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,491
I'm going to be on television!
257
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,294
Oh, sweetheart,
I'm so proud of you!
258
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,295
Me, too.
259
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,641
How'd Bobby do?
260
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,231
I didn't even wait to find out.
261
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,801
I wanted to come home
and tell you about me!
262
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,736
Congratulations, honey.
263
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,115
Why don't you go
tell Alice the news?
264
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,406
She's in her room.
265
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:16,598
Hi.
266
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:17,865
Hi.
267
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,133
Hey.
268
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,835
Come here.
269
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,872
How'd you do on the test?
270
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:26,407
I got wiped out.
271
00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:28,476
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
272
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,377
It was a tough test.
273
00:10:30,446 --> 00:10:31,813
Really tough, huh?
274
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,393
It was so tough, lots
of guys didn't make it.
275
00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:35,717
Let's face it, chum:
276
00:10:35,785 --> 00:10:39,253
You didn't make it
because you didn't study.
277
00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,233
Well, maybe not too much.
278
00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:43,491
Yeah. Maybe not at all.
279
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,594
I guess.
280
00:10:54,704 --> 00:10:55,904
Bobby?
281
00:10:57,474 --> 00:11:01,443
You're going to be on the
TV show with me, aren't you?
282
00:11:01,511 --> 00:11:03,344
You mean you won?
283
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,747
Sure. Didn't you?
284
00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:07,248
No.
285
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:09,350
It was a tough test.
286
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,552
Tough?
287
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,587
Mine was easy for me.
288
00:11:12,656 --> 00:11:16,290
I guess I'm just
smarter than you are.
289
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:48,823
How.
290
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:50,358
Hi, Dad.
291
00:11:50,426 --> 00:11:52,026
Hmm.
292
00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:54,696
Well, I hear of tribe
named Blackfoot.
293
00:11:54,764 --> 00:11:58,566
Never hear of tribe
named Sneakerfoot.
294
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,568
You did a nice
job on your tepee.
295
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,872
Yeah. Better job
than I did on that test.
296
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,373
Mm-hmm. Well, cheer up.
297
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:06,708
It's not the end of the world.
298
00:12:06,776 --> 00:12:09,188
I guess I was a real
dummy for not studying.
299
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:12,013
Yeah. Well, if you
never make a mistake,
300
00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:14,181
you never learn a lesson, huh?
301
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,361
I guess so.
302
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,184
Yeah. That's all
water under the bridge.
303
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:19,554
Okay, Chief?
304
00:12:19,623 --> 00:12:20,555
How.
305
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:22,356
How.
306
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,250
Hey, Cindy, you want
to play in the tepee?
307
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,821
Don't be silly.
308
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,555
What's silly about it?
309
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,124
I might get dirty.
310
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,242
So what?
311
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:43,661
Television stars
don't play in tepees
312
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,530
and they don't get dirty.
313
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,064
Who's a television star?
314
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:50,368
I am, that's who.
315
00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:54,639
Hi, Cindy.
316
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,318
You want to lick the bowl?
317
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,910
No thanks. It's not ladylike.
318
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,189
Ladylike?
319
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,380
Yes. What are we
having for dinner?
320
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,126
Swiss steak and spaghetti.
321
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,216
Not me.
322
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,462
Honey, those are
two of your favorites.
323
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,919
Not anymore, they're not.
324
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,453
They're rich and fattening.
325
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:11,166
Well, sure. All
that good stuff is.
326
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,258
Just fix me a
small salad, please.
327
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,459
Hey, wait a second.
328
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,962
Do you mind telling
me why the special diet?
329
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,142
A star can't go on television
330
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,367
all fat and broken out.
331
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:29,323
Hi.
332
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,558
Hi.
333
00:13:30,627 --> 00:13:32,142
Cindy's at it again.
334
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,262
She's been in there for an hour.
335
00:13:34,331 --> 00:13:35,657
"When you're a TV star,
336
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,682
your hair has to be just right."
337
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,985
How many ways can
there be to fix hair?
338
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,798
She's tried
everything but an afro.
339
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,255
Well, if she keeps this up,
340
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,168
she won't have to worry
about her hair on the TV.
341
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,359
She'll be bald.
342
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,501
I was wondering...
343
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,988
do you think I ought to
have my ears pierced?
344
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,384
Cindy, the last thing you need
345
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,808
is two more holes in your head.
346
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,213
Oh, no.
347
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,449
Cindy, not again.
348
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,850
I have to make sure
349
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,421
I wear just the right
thing on television, don't I?
350
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:20,903
But, Cindy, you've already tried
351
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,971
these dresses on umpteen times.
352
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,029
So? I don't know which goes best
353
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,809
with my hair and my eyes.
354
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,778
Cindy, you're really
getting to be a drag.
355
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,413
You're acting as if it
was a beauty contest
356
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,036
instead of a brain quiz.
357
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:35,840
Okay, then, just name
me one big television star
358
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,543
who isn't worried
about the way she looks.
359
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:39,891
Lassie.
360
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,046
Arf, arf.
361
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,204
Hurry.
362
00:14:50,273 --> 00:14:52,874
Oh... Oh, God.
363
00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:56,143
Well... six shopping carts full.
364
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:57,912
I think that's a new record.
365
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,691
Yeah, but you've got to admit,
366
00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,994
this smorgasbord
is a pretty good idea.
367
00:15:02,018 --> 00:15:04,719
We have got enough
food to feed all our friends,
368
00:15:04,787 --> 00:15:06,747
their relatives,
their houseguests,
369
00:15:06,789 --> 00:15:08,506
plus any last-minute drop-ins.
370
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,392
Even their drop-ins
can bring their drop-ins.
371
00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:13,355
Ooh, looks like you've got
372
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,857
plenty of smorgas for the bord.
373
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,481
There's still more
smorgas in the car.
374
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,360
Hey, Alice, were there
any calls while we were out?
375
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,462
Just one.
376
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,896
The school called
to give you the date
377
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,465
of Cindy's television show.
378
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:23,633
Oh, good. When is it?
379
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,222
I'll give you a hint.
380
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:29,160
We're going to be eating
this stuff a long, long time.
381
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,963
Alice... you don't mean...?
382
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,142
I do mean.
383
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,331
No, no, no. No, no.
384
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,778
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
385
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:38,836
Oh, naturally, the tenth...
The night of our party.
386
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:39,820
I'll get the rest of the stuff
387
00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:42,556
out of the car.
388
00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:46,260
You know... I don't believe it.
389
00:15:46,328 --> 00:15:49,508
First, we're going to invite
a couple of friends over.
390
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,732
I'm going to barbecue steaks.
391
00:15:51,801 --> 00:15:53,734
Then we changed
to a Mexican dinner
392
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:56,181
so we can invite more people.
393
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,765
So I cancel the steaks.
394
00:15:58,808 --> 00:15:59,951
I run all over town
395
00:15:59,975 --> 00:16:02,309
in search of authentic
Mexican food.
396
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,546
But then we switch
to a smorgasbord
397
00:16:05,615 --> 00:16:08,348
so we can have friends
and friends of friends
398
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:11,051
and uncles and relatives
and assorted drop-ins.
399
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,489
But now I have got
enough Mexican food
400
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,526
to feed every guitar
player in Guadalajara,
401
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:21,395
and I corner the
market on herring.
402
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:24,665
And now I find out
403
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,936
that we are having a party
for 26 people on the tenth,
404
00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:30,004
and the only people
405
00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:33,140
who aren't going
to be here are us.
406
00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:40,164
That was a wonderful
soliloquy, Hamlet.
407
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,632
Are you finished?
408
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:42,800
Yes.
409
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,847
Ah, maybe you
better go help Alice
410
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,511
get the rest of the
things out of the car.
411
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,860
Poor dear.
412
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,663
Mom, we're going to
study in the family room.
413
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:57,476
Oh? What's wrong
with your own room?
414
00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:00,233
It's too full of Cindy,
the television star.
415
00:17:00,302 --> 00:17:02,102
She has her clothes
scattered all over
416
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:06,440
and she never stops talking
about being on television.
417
00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:16,011
Cindy... How do you
think these look, Mom?
418
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,096
Terrible.
419
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,430
You are much too young
420
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,466
to be wearing Marcia's earrings.
421
00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:23,590
I can see now why Marcia
and Jan are complaining.
422
00:17:23,659 --> 00:17:25,560
They're just jealous.
423
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,780
They are not jealous and they're
not the only ones complaining.
424
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:32,399
If you mean Bobby, he's just mad
because he was too dumb to win.
425
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,936
Listen, sweetheart,
Bobby is not dumb.
426
00:17:36,005 --> 00:17:37,005
If he didn't win,
427
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:39,039
it's just because
he didn't study.
428
00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:40,774
Well, that's dumb.
429
00:17:40,843 --> 00:17:43,321
Besides, he's a bad loser.
430
00:17:43,345 --> 00:17:45,779
It seems to me that
you're a bad winner.
431
00:17:45,848 --> 00:17:48,248
You know, you shouldn't
put down a loser, Cindy,
432
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,784
because you might be
one yourself someday.
433
00:17:50,853 --> 00:17:53,453
Just remember that.
434
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,890
Don't you want to come
435
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,393
and watch me be on television?
436
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,739
Uh, no thanks.
437
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,364
I've had you and TV up to here.
438
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,334
Okay, then you're going
to miss all the excitement.
439
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:26,870
Oh, we'll try to
live through it.
440
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:33,460
I never thought my own
sisters would be so jealous.
441
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:41,185
She's got a size ten
body and a size 24 head.
442
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,506
I'm leaving for the show now.
443
00:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,709
Hooray.
444
00:18:50,747 --> 00:18:52,524
Would you boys
like to be the first
445
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,015
to get my autograph?
446
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:56,364
Autograph?
447
00:18:56,418 --> 00:18:57,551
Uh, I'm afraid
448
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:59,519
that's just too big an
honor for us, Cindy.
449
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:03,724
Okay. You had your chance.
450
00:19:09,031 --> 00:19:11,359
Cindy, will you please come on?!
451
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:12,850
It's time to leave!
452
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,039
You folks all set to go?
453
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,531
Yeah. Hey, Alice, will you try
454
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,032
to get the kids to watch
Cindy on television?
455
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,056
Cindy!
456
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,290
I'm coming, I'm coming.
457
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,506
Good luck, honey.
458
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,829
Do you think this dress
will look good on color TV?
459
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:27,464
Maybe I'd better
wear my blue one.
460
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,643
Uh, uh, Cindy.
461
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,600
Come on, come on.
462
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,946
Give me that compact.
463
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,169
Let's go.
464
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,670
Good-bye, Alice.
465
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:34,972
Bye.
466
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,278
Now, don't forget, kids,
467
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,157
when this little
red light goes on,
468
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,480
we're on the air
469
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,361
and we'll be in
everybody's living room.
470
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,663
Now, does everybody
have their thinking caps on?
471
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,953
Yes, sir!
472
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,137
Good.
473
00:19:50,206 --> 00:19:51,805
Take your places.
474
00:19:55,578 --> 00:19:57,744
I was just about
to call you kids.
475
00:19:57,813 --> 00:20:00,581
Alice, we wouldn't
miss Cindy for anything.
476
00:20:00,649 --> 00:20:03,117
That's what I call
real family spirit.
477
00:20:03,186 --> 00:20:04,763
We want to see Miss Smarty-Pants
478
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,071
fall right on her big, fat head.
479
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:10,524
Yeah, we can't wait
to see her bomb.
480
00:20:10,593 --> 00:20:13,894
Like I said, real family spirit.
481
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,731
Hey, Bobby, turn
it up, will you?
482
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,233
The questions I'll be asking
483
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,213
are based on your
regular schoolwork,
484
00:20:21,237 --> 00:20:24,238
so when you know the
answer, just raise your hand.
485
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,951
And remember,
when that little red light
486
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,193
on that camera goes
on, we're on the air.
487
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,317
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
488
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:44,842
Welcome to the
Question the Kids show.
489
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,344
I'm Monty Marshall,
your quizmaster.
490
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,314
And tonight, it's
Clinton Grammar School
491
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:51,965
versus Woodside.
492
00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:55,669
And may the better team win.
493
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:58,055
Now, here's your first question.
494
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,941
Listen carefully.
495
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,778
"Four score and
seven years ago..."
496
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:06,664
is the beginning of what speech?
497
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:09,666
Yes, Woodside?
498
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,535
Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
499
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,087
That's right.
500
00:21:13,155 --> 00:21:16,841
How is the word "swiftly"
used in the following sentence?
501
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:20,477
"The boy ran swiftly."
502
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:22,513
Clinton.
503
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,064
As an adverb.
504
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:25,610
That's right.
505
00:21:25,634 --> 00:21:29,386
Mike, what's the
matter with Cindy?
506
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,899
Just staring at the camera
507
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,451
like she's got televisionitis.
508
00:21:32,475 --> 00:21:35,893
Spell the word "thoroughfare."
509
00:21:38,748 --> 00:21:40,281
Woodside.
510
00:21:40,349 --> 00:21:45,847
T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H... That's right.
511
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:46,948
What's wrong with Cindy?
512
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,356
She's not even raising her hand.
513
00:21:49,425 --> 00:21:50,690
Talk about dumb.
514
00:21:50,759 --> 00:21:52,704
She knows all those
answers by heart.
515
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,712
Then why doesn't
she answer them?
516
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:58,765
Now, name the last two
states that joined the union.
517
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,917
How come Cindy just sits there?
518
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,152
She looks scared.
519
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:03,981
Come on, Cindy, loosen up.
520
00:22:04,039 --> 00:22:05,606
Woodside.
521
00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:07,207
Alaska and Hawaii.
522
00:22:07,276 --> 00:22:08,625
Right.
523
00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:10,605
Oh, she knew that.
524
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:14,114
Now, name the
capital of Louisiana.
525
00:22:14,183 --> 00:22:15,465
Come on, Cindy.
526
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,234
I know you know this one.
527
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:18,869
Cindy, raise your hand.
528
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,387
Cindy, you know it!
529
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:23,435
Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge.
530
00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:24,474
Woodside.
531
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:25,803
Baton Rouge.
532
00:22:25,827 --> 00:22:27,706
That's correct. Oh, Cindy...
533
00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:30,764
Now, how many
pecks are in a bushel?
534
00:22:30,832 --> 00:22:32,883
Clinton! Four.
535
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,618
Right!
536
00:22:50,319 --> 00:22:52,253
I don't want to see anybody.
537
00:22:52,321 --> 00:22:54,254
They'll all make fun of me.
538
00:22:54,323 --> 00:22:56,100
It's not going to
get any easier later.
539
00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:58,325
Come on.
540
00:23:02,999 --> 00:23:04,376
Cindy!
541
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,933
You looked terrific!
542
00:23:06,002 --> 00:23:07,012
Especially your hair.
543
00:23:07,036 --> 00:23:08,179
The dress was fantastic.
544
00:23:08,203 --> 00:23:09,447
You were the
prettiest girl there.
545
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,371
Oh, yeah. We all thought so.
546
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,574
I didn't answer
a single question.
547
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:16,777
I was a real dum-dum.
548
00:23:18,915 --> 00:23:24,485
Cindy... Cindy... I
was the dum-dum.
549
00:23:24,554 --> 00:23:26,320
I didn't even pass the test.
550
00:23:26,389 --> 00:23:30,424
You studied and you got on TV.
551
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,972
Bobby, you're
a terrific brother.
552
00:23:36,932 --> 00:23:38,131
Women!
553
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,235
One nice word,
and you get all wet.
554
00:23:41,303 --> 00:23:43,937
Aw! Poor baby.
555
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:46,139
Aw! Come on!
556
00:23:59,488 --> 00:24:02,590
Well, honey, I finally
got it all worked out.
557
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:03,591
Yeah? What's that?
558
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:05,025
Well, I've called the Swansons,
559
00:24:05,094 --> 00:24:06,493
the Bernsteins, the Clarks,
560
00:24:06,562 --> 00:24:07,828
the Kaufmans, the Burkes,
561
00:24:07,897 --> 00:24:09,863
the Metzgers and the Allens.
562
00:24:09,932 --> 00:24:10,943
It took a lot of juggling,
563
00:24:10,967 --> 00:24:12,432
but they can all
come on the 24th.
564
00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:14,068
On the 24th, huh?
565
00:24:14,136 --> 00:24:16,014
Yup, that's when we're having
the party. Great. I'll phone you.
566
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,248
Let me know if you're
having a good time.
567
00:24:17,272 --> 00:24:18,584
What do you mean,
you'll phone me?
568
00:24:18,608 --> 00:24:19,818
'Cause that's the
weekend I'm going
569
00:24:19,842 --> 00:24:22,442
to be out of town at the
convention, remember?
570
00:24:22,511 --> 00:24:24,177
Catch me.
36513
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