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- [lightning strikes]
- [electricity sparks]
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00:00:02,565 --> 00:00:04,180
Previously on "Impastor"...
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What's your connection
with a big guy like that?
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00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:06,948
I'm undercover FBI.
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00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,305
Well, hello.
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00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,776
[rock music]
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I heard this rumor
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that you are a... a lady of the night.
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It's true.
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- [blow lands]
- [grunts]
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Say good-bye, Buddy Dobbs.
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[gun cocks]
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[dramatic music]
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Oh, God.
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I hope getting shot doesn't hurt.
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[sniper rifle fires]
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That wasn't so bad.
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[suspenseful music]
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♪ ♪
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[exhales]
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Hyde?
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00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:44,877
Lovello?
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[cocks gun] Anyone?
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Take that, mother[bleep]!
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I'm alive!
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Whoo! Whoo!
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Yeah!
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00:01:01,907 --> 00:01:02,906
Got you!
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He's this way.
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Yeah!
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What the hell was
I so happy about?
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I had the dead body of a
wanted felon on my hands,
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which meant an investigation
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by smarter cops who
would know I wasn't FBI.
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[guns cock]
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[heavy breathing]
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Holy crap.
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You killed him?
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What happened?
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I'll tell you what happened.
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You guys abandoned an
unarmed federal agent
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in the middle of an operation.
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I had to wrestle his
gun away and shoot him.
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Whoa, that is badass.
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I should have your badges for this.
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Hey, wasn't our fault.
He slashed our tires.
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Oh.
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Did the big, bad bully
take your lunch money too?
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You know what? Badges aren't enough.
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I should bring you up
on criminal charges.
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Come on, man, don't do that.
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Yeah, yeah... hey.
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Damien's dead. You're okay.
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Can't you just leave
us out of your report?
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Hell no.
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Hell no, you almost got me killed.
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Although...
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I like "although."
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If I don't file a report,
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nobody knows Damien's dead.
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Then I can stay undercover
and go after his boss.
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Exactly.
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Why waste that chance to report
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a minor screw-up on our part?
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[mouthing]
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All right.
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But so help me God,
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if either of you
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tells anyone
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about me or this operation
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I will hunt you down
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and make you wish you were this guy.
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Do I make myself clear?
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- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah.
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Good.
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Now help me bury this scumbag.
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[rock music plays]
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Or would you rather go to jail?
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♪ ♪
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[all straining]
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Ready?
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[groans]
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Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
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[upbeat music]
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Two questions kept
running through my head.
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Who the hell saved me?
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And why?
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[knocking]
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Come in.
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00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,153
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
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00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:08,951
How you doing?
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We've all been a
little worried about you
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around here the past couple days.
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00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,426
Yeah, I've... had
some things on my mind.
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You know, pastor crap.
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But that's all dead and buried.
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Well, good, 'cause, you know,
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we need you around here.
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Come on, council
meeting's about to start.
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- Hey, Dora.
- Mm-hmm?
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You ever get the feeling that
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someone's watching out for you?
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You mean like a guardian angel?
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Yeah, but not like the fairy-tale kind
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with wings and diapers, like real.
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I think that guardian
angels can be real people.
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I mean, who knows?
Maybe you're mine, and
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[clicks tongue]
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I'm yours. Mm?
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Turning to financial news...
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Even with Damien dead,
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I couldn't help thinking
this wasn't over.
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[dramatic sting]
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Due to attrition, repairs, and
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settlements from the
youth camping trip...
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They were lost for one night.
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We are looking at a
serious budget shortfall.
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Which brings us
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to a possible solution.
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Mrs. Esther Strumble,
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84, widowed, no heirs,
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and in very poor health.
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Pastor, we need you to
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get her to donate her
estate to our church.
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Me?
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What... why me?
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W...
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Well, uh,
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because, uh, it's your duty.
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But then also, when you applied
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for the job, you said
that getting bequests
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was one of your strong points.
133
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Exactly.
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Glad you remembered.
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Well, here is her dossier.
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Uh, Mrs. Strumble is expecting you
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at 2:00.
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I should go upstairs and study this.
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AKA whack off and nap.
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You know, the whole
reason I looked past his
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condition was that you said
he was a great fundraiser.
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Uh... "condition?"
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All right... "choice."
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Our church needs that money.
145
00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:01,708
And... and if he fails,
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00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,445
we'll all know who to blame.
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00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,171
[sinister organ music]
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I am exhausted.
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00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:11,797
Dave kept me up all night,
if you know what I'm saying.
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[both laugh] Yeah.
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Dave's a blanket hog.
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00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,333
Oh, I hate that.
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00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,992
It's like, "hello,
there is two of us here."
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So we tell the captain
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00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,768
Barlow turned out to be a suicide.
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00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:24,354
- Not a word about Damien.
- Right.
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00:05:24,379 --> 00:05:26,825
And I just say I got
these at an outlet mall.
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- Where'd you...
- You know where I got them.
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My God... there's that cute cop
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I was telling you about.
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Oh, he is cute.
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00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:36,192
You should ask him out.
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00:05:36,442 --> 00:05:37,875
You know what? I think I will.
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[inhales]
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Hey.
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00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,008
Dora, right?
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00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,109
You know, I was just
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wondering if you wanted to get coffee
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00:05:46,462 --> 00:05:49,272
with me sometime that is
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other than this time.
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00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,984
No, thanks. [sighs]
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Oh. Okay.
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00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,255
But I'd love to take you
out to dinner tonight.
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That'd be great. [laughs]
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And then we could get coffee afterwards.
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I mean, as long as it's before 8:00
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00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,328
because if I have a coffee after 8:00,
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I am just up [laughs] forever.
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00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,666
Never mind, you know
what? We'll figure it out.
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00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,534
Not that I go to bed at 8:00.
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Although, honestly, I could.
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But not with you.
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Not not with you.
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[deep breath] Dinner... yes.
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[foreboding music]
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Right this way, Pastor.
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Cigarettes and mothballs.
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00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,552
I hadn't smelled that
combo since my parents
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00:06:25,577 --> 00:06:27,300
used to leave me
with Lorraine Bort,
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00:06:27,325 --> 00:06:29,384
a mean old bag who
lived down the hall.
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God, I hated that woman.
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00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,510
Hey, runt.
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Make yourself useful.
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Grab that lighter, fire ole 'Rainey up.
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[lighters flicks]
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Closer.
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00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,668
Ain't gonna bite ya.
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00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,870
[cigarette burns]
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00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,405
[suspenseful music]
200
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,941
[ghoulish whoosh]
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Pastor?
202
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:54,679
Pastor?
203
00:06:54,844 --> 00:06:56,414
Are you all right?
204
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,072
Yeah.
205
00:06:57,097 --> 00:06:59,708
Yeah, I must have just
spaced out for a second.
206
00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:02,554
You look familiar. Have we met before?
207
00:07:02,668 --> 00:07:03,910
No, Mrs. Strumble,
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00:07:03,935 --> 00:07:05,056
you're confused again.
209
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,558
This isn't Pastor Willis.
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00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,160
This is Pastor Barlow.
211
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:11,129
I know that, you dodo.
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00:07:11,388 --> 00:07:12,931
My body may be shot,
213
00:07:12,956 --> 00:07:15,267
but my mind still works.
214
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,269
[growls]
215
00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:20,772
So what brings you over, Pastor?
216
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,707
Look, I'm just gonna get to it.
217
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:23,842
The church needs cash.
218
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:24,798
You're getting up there.
219
00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,109
And we'd like you to
donate your estate, so
220
00:07:27,134 --> 00:07:28,747
if you could just sign
221
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:29,814
right here?
222
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,316
You're a straight shooter.
223
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,836
I like that.
224
00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:34,786
That's the way my husband was.
225
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,854
Oh.
226
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,422
When did he kick it?
227
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,790
I mean, croak.
228
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,220
25 years ago.
229
00:07:41,245 --> 00:07:42,278
You know,
230
00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:44,996
you even resemble him physically.
231
00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:47,399
Good-looking dude, huh?
232
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,111
[laughs]
233
00:07:49,263 --> 00:07:52,871
You have his sense of humor too.
234
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,421
Oh, gosh.
235
00:07:55,446 --> 00:07:57,344
I miss Walter.
236
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:02,047
[dog barking distantly]
237
00:08:04,765 --> 00:08:06,117
Be a dear.
238
00:08:06,289 --> 00:08:07,219
Give me a light.
239
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:09,396
Uhh... should she be smoking?
240
00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,087
Okay by me.
241
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,159
[suspenseful music]
242
00:08:15,184 --> 00:08:16,428
Come closer.
243
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:20,232
♪ ♪
244
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,434
I ain't gonna bite ya.
245
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:23,435
[startles]
246
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:26,371
[dramatic music]
247
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:30,078
Uh, I just got off the
phone with Mrs. Strumble.
248
00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:32,512
She said that you ran out of
there like a bat out of heck.
249
00:08:32,537 --> 00:08:33,741
Yeah, yeah, we didn't click,
250
00:08:33,766 --> 00:08:35,012
but, hey, I gave it a shot.
251
00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:36,442
That's all anyone
could ask. No, it's not!
252
00:08:36,444 --> 00:08:38,084
Listen, you do not understand
the kind of pressure
253
00:08:38,109 --> 00:08:39,861
that I am under here, and I really need
254
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,148
- for you to come through for me.
- Whoa.
255
00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:43,883
Is your blood sugar a little low?
256
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:45,086
Maybe you need a snack.
257
00:08:45,111 --> 00:08:46,005
No, what I need
258
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:47,777
is for Alden Schmidt
to know that I am right.
259
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,006
I fought and fought
for you to get this job,
260
00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:51,563
and now my neck is on the line.
261
00:08:51,588 --> 00:08:52,859
All right.
262
00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:54,681
I'll try again, but I'll be honest,
263
00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:56,262
I am not comfortable around her.
264
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,357
Well, suck it up.
265
00:08:57,382 --> 00:08:59,315
You're a flipping pastor.
266
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,504
Well, now I've said the F-word.
267
00:09:04,506 --> 00:09:06,706
[knocking]
268
00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:07,641
[door opens]
269
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,666
Uh... uh, Pastor, may I have
270
00:09:09,995 --> 00:09:11,010
a word?
271
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:12,879
[burps] Uh, sure, what's up?
272
00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:15,748
Well...
273
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:18,498
Now, I pride myself on being a man
274
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:20,330
who always knows what to do.
275
00:09:20,586 --> 00:09:22,722
But here, now, lately,
276
00:09:23,038 --> 00:09:24,092
I'm just...
277
00:09:24,117 --> 00:09:25,391
I'm feeling lost.
278
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,226
Well, maybe you have old-timer's.
279
00:09:27,228 --> 00:09:28,261
Uh...
280
00:09:28,553 --> 00:09:31,297
Look, my... my marriage
is over. I know that.
281
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,153
But I'm just... I... I'll tell you,
282
00:09:33,178 --> 00:09:34,901
I'm just having trouble moving on.
283
00:09:35,259 --> 00:09:37,604
Hey, you spend 40 years with a woman,
284
00:09:37,629 --> 00:09:39,193
it's gonna take a week or two.
285
00:09:39,218 --> 00:09:40,780
No, it's... it's... it's not that.
286
00:09:40,805 --> 00:09:43,543
It just...
287
00:09:43,545 --> 00:09:45,211
the problem is
288
00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:48,084
I can't get Ashlee out of my mind.
289
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,184
I think I'm in love with her.
290
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,251
What?
291
00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:53,384
[scoffs]
292
00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:54,431
No... no, no you're not.
293
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,818
When I'm with her, I... I just... I feel
294
00:09:56,843 --> 00:09:59,225
something I haven't felt for
295
00:09:59,569 --> 00:10:00,567
years.
296
00:10:00,592 --> 00:10:01,994
That's called a boner.
297
00:10:02,594 --> 00:10:04,453
Right? Doesn't mean you're in love.
298
00:10:04,555 --> 00:10:06,899
What, am I going through
a mid-life crisis?
299
00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:09,402
Or whatever comes after that.
300
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:10,801
Trust me, Alden,
301
00:10:10,826 --> 00:10:12,692
this is nothing more than a fantasy.
302
00:10:12,717 --> 00:10:14,269
You don't know this person well enough
303
00:10:14,294 --> 00:10:15,911
to be in love with her.
304
00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:18,077
You're right.
305
00:10:18,295 --> 00:10:19,261
That's right.
306
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,490
No, no... that's...
307
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:21,854
I owe it to myself
308
00:10:21,879 --> 00:10:23,983
to get to know her better.
309
00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:26,819
Thank you, Pastor.
310
00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:29,129
[playful music]
311
00:10:29,426 --> 00:10:32,225
So have you Googled
Detective Lovello yet?
312
00:10:32,546 --> 00:10:35,056
No, I'm... I'm not Googling him.
313
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:36,530
If I did that, then
I'd know all the answers
314
00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:37,719
to the questions that I'm gonna ask,
315
00:10:37,744 --> 00:10:39,392
which is the whole
point of going on a date.
316
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,801
Uh, the point of a date
is to get another date.
317
00:10:41,826 --> 00:10:44,131
And 2 to 5 free vodka tonics.
318
00:10:44,156 --> 00:10:44,937
No.
319
00:10:44,939 --> 00:10:46,366
At least look up his address on Zillow.
320
00:10:46,391 --> 00:10:47,517
You don't want to end
up raising your kids
321
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:48,916
in some place like East Ladner.
322
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,376
Hey, I live in East Ladner.
323
00:10:50,378 --> 00:10:51,894
- And it's lovely.
- Look.
324
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,039
I am interested in
who he is as a person,
325
00:10:54,064 --> 00:10:56,602
not... not what he
pays in property taxes.
326
00:10:56,627 --> 00:10:58,817
So no, I am not going to Google him;
327
00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:00,330
I'm not going to Zillow him;
328
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,121
and I am not wearing that shirt.
329
00:11:02,472 --> 00:11:04,390
- _
- It's an ice-breaker tee.
330
00:11:04,454 --> 00:11:06,287
Yech, whatever.
331
00:11:06,445 --> 00:11:07,786
So what are you in the mood for today?
332
00:11:07,811 --> 00:11:10,029
Number three. With some pinky action.
333
00:11:10,213 --> 00:11:11,096
All right,
334
00:11:11,121 --> 00:11:13,321
but put the parking brake on this time.
335
00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:15,707
Hey, before we nude up,
336
00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:17,298
I need to talk to you
about Alden Schmidt.
337
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:19,138
- You know Alden?
- Yeah.
338
00:11:19,425 --> 00:11:20,609
And he's got some crazy idea
339
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:22,408
about you two having a future together.
340
00:11:22,576 --> 00:11:23,743
Really?
341
00:11:23,745 --> 00:11:26,433
I'ma need you to shut
that down, all right?
342
00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:29,248
'Cause that's nothing
but trouble for all of us.
343
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:30,517
Okay.
344
00:11:31,453 --> 00:11:32,853
But it'll cost you 200.
345
00:11:32,941 --> 00:11:34,687
That includes the Pinky-Three, right?
346
00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:35,888
Nope.
347
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:37,890
♪ ♪
348
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,785
Listen, I'm sorry about before,
349
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,491
but I've been on this raisin cleanse.
350
00:11:41,516 --> 00:11:44,048
What I had to do, I could
not do in this house.
351
00:11:44,073 --> 00:11:47,064
You're a very polite young man.
352
00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:49,012
Here is your tea, missus.
353
00:11:49,347 --> 00:11:52,146
Oh, [chuckles] I see
you signed my paycheck.
354
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:53,357
Can I get it now?
355
00:11:53,382 --> 00:11:55,861
And have you slough off
the rest of the week?
356
00:11:55,886 --> 00:11:59,912
You'll get it Friday
after the inspection.
357
00:11:59,914 --> 00:12:00,734
[dramatic music]
358
00:12:00,759 --> 00:12:02,181
Do your homework.
359
00:12:02,439 --> 00:12:05,047
Keep it quiet. I want
to watch my stories.
360
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,820
♪ ♪
361
00:12:08,088 --> 00:12:09,922
Pastor?
362
00:12:10,217 --> 00:12:11,207
So... you, uh,
363
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:12,202
you ready to donate?
364
00:12:12,227 --> 00:12:14,026
Oh, slow down.
365
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,229
Enjoy your tea.
366
00:12:16,543 --> 00:12:18,283
Before you get my money,
367
00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:20,409
there's something I want you to do.
368
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,001
Make love to me.
369
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,155
[spits]
370
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,370
[spits twice]
371
00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:27,520
You remind me so much of Walter.
372
00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:28,975
I want to feel that
373
00:12:29,275 --> 00:12:31,844
closeness, that...
374
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,780
that exhilaration one last time.
375
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:36,582
I'm sorry, Mrs. Strumble.
376
00:12:36,607 --> 00:12:37,586
I can't help you.
377
00:12:37,611 --> 00:12:40,586
Oh, but I think you can.
378
00:12:40,955 --> 00:12:44,056
You see, I may be an old woman,
379
00:12:44,314 --> 00:12:46,787
but I have two very good assets.
380
00:12:46,812 --> 00:12:48,131
Please don't show them to me.
381
00:12:48,156 --> 00:12:49,962
My eyesight
382
00:12:50,089 --> 00:12:51,128
and my memory.
383
00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:52,361
A few months back,
384
00:12:52,386 --> 00:12:55,126
my oak tree fell on a car
385
00:12:55,151 --> 00:12:57,916
and killed two criminals inside.
386
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:01,107
And who do you think I
saw get out of the trunk?
387
00:13:01,225 --> 00:13:03,175
Of the tree or the car?
388
00:13:03,461 --> 00:13:06,393
My nurse leaves at 8:00.
389
00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:08,024
You'll be here
390
00:13:08,332 --> 00:13:10,650
or I will tell your entire church
391
00:13:10,828 --> 00:13:12,585
and the police
392
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:13,819
everything I saw.
393
00:13:13,821 --> 00:13:16,656
[tense music]
394
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:21,022
[slow rock over radio]
395
00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,758
Make me blind. [belches]
396
00:13:23,976 --> 00:13:27,413
I knew the only way I could
face a tumble with Strumble
397
00:13:27,438 --> 00:13:28,986
was to be good and trashed.
398
00:13:28,988 --> 00:13:30,120
Buddy?
399
00:13:30,122 --> 00:13:31,250
You're by yourself?
400
00:13:31,275 --> 00:13:34,076
Mosey on over to our
party wagon, partner.
401
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:39,496
[dramatic sting]
402
00:13:39,498 --> 00:13:40,706
Oh, Buddy, glad you're here.
403
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:41,536
Now you won't be alone.
404
00:13:41,561 --> 00:13:43,461
Dave just texted. I got to go.
405
00:13:43,653 --> 00:13:45,302
What's the deal with
this Dave guy anyway?
406
00:13:45,304 --> 00:13:48,105
Oh... he's a man who
knows what he wants.
407
00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:49,877
And he wants it a lot.
408
00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:53,811
Hey, Russell, you...
409
00:13:54,028 --> 00:13:56,080
you ever have been in a real
410
00:13:56,082 --> 00:13:59,245
weird sexual situation?
411
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:00,636
[squeaks]
412
00:14:00,987 --> 00:14:02,720
Yes. No.
413
00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:05,041
I mean, what... what
did you have in mind?
414
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:07,066
Oh, crap, I gotta bolt.
415
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:09,820
Damn it, Russell.
416
00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:12,512
What's the point of rehearsing
if you're just gonna blow it?
417
00:14:12,537 --> 00:14:15,933
[lounge music]
418
00:14:15,935 --> 00:14:18,079
♪ ♪
419
00:14:18,226 --> 00:14:19,680
I went skiing once.
420
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,678
Water or snow?
421
00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:22,366
Neither. I am lying.
422
00:14:22,391 --> 00:14:24,024
[laughs] What?
423
00:14:24,621 --> 00:14:26,410
I'm sorry. I'm really nervous.
424
00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:27,891
You're not the only one.
425
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,570
Come to bed.
426
00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:31,932
I don't have a condom.
427
00:14:31,957 --> 00:14:34,391
No, that ship has sailed.
428
00:14:36,122 --> 00:14:40,024
[dog barking distantly]
429
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,691
Put your arm around me.
430
00:14:44,355 --> 00:14:45,111
There.
431
00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:47,131
That's the way Walter used to do.
432
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:48,399
Mm-hmm.
433
00:14:48,528 --> 00:14:50,434
We'd usually talk for a bit.
434
00:14:50,535 --> 00:14:52,236
You start.
435
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:53,537
I'm shit-faced.
436
00:14:53,819 --> 00:14:55,542
Here is one of my bird Scrunchie
437
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:56,974
at his third birthday party.
438
00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:58,268
That is adorable.
439
00:14:58,293 --> 00:14:59,576
How did you get that little hat on him?
440
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:01,312
Uh, more like how did I get it off?
441
00:15:01,314 --> 00:15:02,427
[both chuckle] He loves hats.
442
00:15:02,452 --> 00:15:04,953
Oh, there's this other
one I want to show you.
443
00:15:05,463 --> 00:15:06,550
[gasps]
444
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,475
- Was that my house?
- Nope.
445
00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:10,974
Dora.
446
00:15:11,973 --> 00:15:13,724
I'm sorry. I Googled you.
447
00:15:13,749 --> 00:15:15,279
I know it's cheating, I just wanted
448
00:15:15,304 --> 00:15:16,768
to know everything about you.
449
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:20,497
[R&B music playing over radio]
450
00:15:20,762 --> 00:15:22,533
Did you know I'm very attracted to you?
451
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,608
Well, I think I'm [clears throat]
452
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,770
gonna need to do a little more research.
453
00:15:26,772 --> 00:15:29,684
♪ I really want to be the one ♪
454
00:15:29,871 --> 00:15:32,441
And by our silver anniversary,
455
00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:34,574
Walter and I
456
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:38,369
had visited all the national parks.
457
00:15:38,994 --> 00:15:40,260
Ever go to any
458
00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:41,485
American League parks?
459
00:15:41,487 --> 00:15:44,855
[laughs]
460
00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:47,103
He was always there for me.
461
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:50,575
Did you have anyone
like that in your life?
462
00:15:51,797 --> 00:15:54,064
[knocking]
463
00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:57,067
[bluesy music]
464
00:15:57,069 --> 00:16:04,008
♪ ♪
465
00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:07,513
They gone again?
466
00:16:07,538 --> 00:16:10,139
Truth was, my parents
never left me with Bort.
467
00:16:10,297 --> 00:16:11,461
They just left.
468
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:14,161
Come on. I'll make you some fish sticks.
469
00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:17,967
♪ ♪
470
00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:19,232
I did.
471
00:16:20,516 --> 00:16:22,020
Just didn't know it at the time.
472
00:16:22,045 --> 00:16:23,244
[hiccups]
473
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,242
[hiccups]
474
00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:26,330
Excuse me.
475
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:27,498
Think you got the hiccups.
476
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,400
[hiccups]
477
00:16:29,658 --> 00:16:31,201
I should get some water.
478
00:16:31,203 --> 00:16:33,037
Yeah.
479
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:34,493
Hey... no... hey...
480
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,507
I got this.
481
00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:39,543
[screams]
482
00:16:39,545 --> 00:16:40,978
[seedy music]
483
00:16:41,046 --> 00:16:42,179
Mrs. Strumble?
484
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,330
Esther?
485
00:16:45,084 --> 00:16:46,984
Oh, shit! You're dead.
486
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,646
[dramatic music]
487
00:16:50,582 --> 00:16:51,715
What should I do?
488
00:16:51,717 --> 00:16:54,276
Call 911? Just leave?
489
00:16:55,621 --> 00:16:57,087
Eff that.
490
00:16:57,089 --> 00:17:00,090
[lively music]
491
00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:05,529
♪ ♪
492
00:17:05,669 --> 00:17:06,763
"P.S.
493
00:17:06,897 --> 00:17:10,367
"I also leave $25,000
494
00:17:10,369 --> 00:17:12,217
"to Pastor Buddy Barlow
495
00:17:12,242 --> 00:17:13,976
to use however he wants."
496
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:20,577
♪ ♪
497
00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:21,878
[grunts]
498
00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:26,883
[grunts]
499
00:17:29,288 --> 00:17:31,597
[thud] Oh, shit.
500
00:17:31,622 --> 00:17:33,588
Sorry.
501
00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:40,063
[door opens] Missus, I'm back.
502
00:17:44,946 --> 00:17:47,604
Forgot to give you your heart pill.
503
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:49,966
[yelps]
504
00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:55,478
Hi.
505
00:17:56,615 --> 00:17:57,848
Um...
506
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,359
thank you for, uh,
507
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:00,951
for meeting with me.
508
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:02,219
What's on your mind?
509
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:03,361
You.
510
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,586
Just constantly.
511
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,724
I just...
512
00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:10,893
I cannot suppress my feelings for you.
513
00:18:12,244 --> 00:18:13,810
Alden,
514
00:18:14,098 --> 00:18:15,645
do you know what this is?
515
00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:18,702
It's my client book.
516
00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:20,103
Girthy.
517
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:21,355
And you've made it very clear
518
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:22,514
that you could never be with someone
519
00:18:22,539 --> 00:18:23,838
who does what I do for a living.
520
00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:25,942
No, I know. I did say that, yeah.
521
00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:28,078
But, here, the thing is,
522
00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:29,736
I'm in love with you.
523
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:32,220
Do you mean that?
524
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,986
I do, and... and...
525
00:18:34,011 --> 00:18:36,478
just seeing you just now, that just...
526
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:38,775
confirmed it for me.
527
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:43,393
Then I quit.
528
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,730
You've made me realize
I can be so much more.
529
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,575
And I want to be more
530
00:18:48,707 --> 00:18:50,263
with you.
531
00:18:50,347 --> 00:18:52,299
If you're serious
about giving us a shot,
532
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:54,458
so am I. [laughs]
533
00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:55,897
Oh! Well!
534
00:18:55,922 --> 00:18:57,274
Well, look at this.
535
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,381
So how was your date
with Detective Lovello?
536
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,746
It was amazing. You guys,
537
00:19:02,748 --> 00:19:04,300
I never say this, but...
538
00:19:04,325 --> 00:19:06,692
both: He could be the one.
539
00:19:06,823 --> 00:19:08,137
Oh. [chuckles]
540
00:19:08,185 --> 00:19:09,482
Okay. But...
541
00:19:09,507 --> 00:19:12,022
both: This time I mean it.
542
00:19:12,187 --> 00:19:13,323
Well, we'd like to, uh,
543
00:19:13,348 --> 00:19:15,764
thank, uh, Mrs. Strumble's nurse, Dolly,
544
00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:18,722
for bringing over the bequest document.
545
00:19:18,747 --> 00:19:20,864
The, uh, church meant very much to her.
546
00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:22,732
May she rest in peace.
547
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:23,940
What's that thing say?
548
00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:26,720
Well, uh, Mrs. Strumble
has very generously
549
00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,738
bequeathed her entire estate
550
00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,307
to Ladner Trinity.
551
00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:32,642
[Handel's "Hallelujah" playing]
552
00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:35,078
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
553
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:38,348
Alden, I think that that
is the single largest
554
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,850
donation that the
church has ever received.
555
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,712
[exhales] Well... it... the...
556
00:19:42,737 --> 00:19:45,067
the figures aren't
adjusted for inflation,
557
00:19:45,092 --> 00:19:46,690
but... well done.
558
00:19:46,692 --> 00:19:48,258
Uh... something on the back there.
559
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,694
It says... I think it
says something, I don't...
560
00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:51,828
Huh? Oh.
561
00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:53,797
Well, look at that. Huh.
562
00:19:53,845 --> 00:19:56,344
"I'd also like to leave $25,000
563
00:19:56,369 --> 00:20:00,943
to Nurse Dolly Sisang to
use however she wants."
564
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:02,368
Oh, my God.
565
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,466
Missus.
566
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,745
We were so close.
567
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,085
Well played, Dolly.
568
00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:09,576
Well played.
569
00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:14,951
[entrance bells chime]
570
00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:16,186
Can I help you?
571
00:20:16,294 --> 00:20:17,888
Yeah, you know, I think, uh,
572
00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:19,823
maybe you and me, we
got a mutual friend.
573
00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:21,391
Oh, yeah, who's that?
574
00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:22,959
Kenny Banderas.
575
00:20:22,961 --> 00:20:24,953
[dramatic sting]
576
00:20:24,978 --> 00:20:27,245
So you are Tina.
577
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:29,070
[dramatic music]
37395
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