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1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,931
[mellow rhythm & blues]
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,068
♪ ♪
3
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,965
[soft moaning]
4
00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:19,896
- ♪ Don't stop,
girl I want your body, babe ♪
5
00:00:19,965 --> 00:00:23,689
- [louder moaning]
6
00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,551
Ah...ohh!
7
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:26,862
Wow!
8
00:00:26,931 --> 00:00:28,241
Okay.
9
00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:29,896
I think that's enough
for now.
10
00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:33,310
- Are you okay?
- I'm better than okay.
11
00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:35,586
I'm A-okay. Okay.
12
00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:38,758
Thank you for your time
and...
13
00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:39,655
your leg.
14
00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:41,931
- Are y--are you bleeding?
15
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,275
- What?
16
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:48,931
Oh, this? Ha!
17
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,344
Look at that.
[long inhale]
18
00:00:51,413 --> 00:00:54,034
Later, crocodile.
After a while, alligator.
19
00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:56,689
Neither of those are right.
Okay, bye!
20
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,413
[rock music]
21
00:00:58,482 --> 00:01:00,000
- ♪ Teachers ♪
22
00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:01,586
♪ ♪
23
00:01:01,655 --> 00:01:02,931
- Okay, party people,
24
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,793
let's get krunk
on U.S. Geography!
25
00:01:05,862 --> 00:01:08,448
Who can name the capital
of our great nation?
26
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:10,275
- Sorry I'm late.
27
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:12,310
I had to go
to the doctor.
28
00:01:12,379 --> 00:01:14,310
- For your...
29
00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:16,137
- Eye.
- Right.
30
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,172
Take a seat.
31
00:01:18,241 --> 00:01:19,689
Okay, where were we?
32
00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:22,103
Capital of the United States.
33
00:01:22,172 --> 00:01:23,413
Marcus.
- Texas?
34
00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:25,103
- No. But they like
to think so.
35
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,413
Anyone else?
36
00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:27,758
Ugh. I know, Henry.
37
00:01:27,827 --> 00:01:29,413
It's a real head-scratcher,
huh?
38
00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:31,103
- They won't stop
itching.
39
00:01:31,172 --> 00:01:32,862
- Who won't stop itching?
40
00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:35,034
- The little white friends
who live in my hair.
41
00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:38,448
[dramatic music]
42
00:01:38,517 --> 00:01:40,655
♪ ♪
43
00:01:40,724 --> 00:01:42,379
- Those aren't your
friends, Henry.
44
00:01:42,448 --> 00:01:43,689
Those are lice!
45
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:46,034
He brought lice
into my classroom!
46
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:49,482
- If anyone asks,
we've never associated.
47
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,344
You stay the hell
away from me.
48
00:01:51,413 --> 00:01:53,517
- The only logical solution
49
00:01:53,586 --> 00:01:55,000
is to burn your room
to the ground.
50
00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:57,689
- Ms. Snap, I sent Henry
back to your classroom.
51
00:01:57,758 --> 00:01:58,827
- What? Why?
52
00:01:58,896 --> 00:02:00,413
- Mavis, tell her
about the thing.
53
00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:03,068
- The district
has adopted a new policy:
54
00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:04,517
"Live and Let Lice"
55
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:05,862
which states that children
56
00:02:05,931 --> 00:02:09,000
can no longer be sent
home for having lice.
57
00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:10,862
- They say it punishes
the dirt bags.
58
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,689
Sorry--Lower income
families.
59
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,448
- You can't do this!
- As long as Henry
60
00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:15,896
stays away from the other kids,
61
00:02:15,965 --> 00:02:17,413
the lice are like
my high school girlfriend:
62
00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:19,551
they won't spread.
63
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,620
- You just had your sexual
harassment training
64
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:23,896
this morning.
- Yeah. I felt attacked.
65
00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:26,068
- Oh, Brent.
Did you get my proposal
66
00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:27,379
for an after-school yoga club?
67
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,551
- And Thatis my cue
to leave.
68
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,206
Nice talking
to you ladies.
69
00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:32,517
Oh! Paw!
70
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,448
[Brent laughs]
- When did you first
71
00:02:34,517 --> 00:02:36,551
notice the lice?
- About 30 minutes ago.
72
00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:39,068
- What's that?
- My lice preparedness kit.
73
00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:41,103
I'm already pregnant.
The last thing I need
74
00:02:41,172 --> 00:02:42,862
is another parasite.
75
00:02:45,344 --> 00:02:47,827
- [whimpering]
76
00:02:47,896 --> 00:02:49,689
[exhales]
77
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:51,793
- What are you doing,
Mary Louise?
78
00:02:51,862 --> 00:02:53,931
- I'm so horny!
79
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,000
- [gasps]
80
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,793
That's my girl!
81
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,862
I have been waiting
for this moment.
82
00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:00,517
I knew there was
a fire burning
83
00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:01,965
in those loins
of yours.
84
00:03:02,034 --> 00:03:03,724
- It makes it sound like
she has gonorrhea.
85
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:05,965
- I'm still not having
sex until marriage.
86
00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:07,655
I'm just horny.
87
00:03:07,724 --> 00:03:10,310
- Mary Louise, there is
not just sex or no sex.
88
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:12,310
That is black and white
thinking.
89
00:03:12,379 --> 00:03:14,344
You need to be exploring
the grey.
90
00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,586
All fifty shades of it.
Mmm!
91
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,275
[paper rustles]
92
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,931
I made this for you
in anticipation
93
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,482
of this momentous
occasion.
94
00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:27,758
This tiny rectangle contains
a wealth of sexual knowledge
95
00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:29,724
accumulated over a lifetime.
96
00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:34,724
Bon appetite.
97
00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,655
- She's made us
all watch it.
98
00:03:36,724 --> 00:03:38,206
I would avoid
the anal section.
99
00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:40,068
My no-no rose
is off-limits,
100
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,724
but...that's just me.
101
00:03:48,827 --> 00:03:50,620
Ms. Snap: Congratulations,
Mary Louise.
102
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,206
If you're watching this,
it means you have
103
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,206
finally opened your mind
to the wonderful world
104
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:55,586
of sexual exploration!
105
00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:57,275
Let's start with the basics.
106
00:03:57,344 --> 00:04:01,724
Kissing, titty clamps,
and double-penetration.
107
00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:04,034
- I gotta go see
Pastor Ted.
108
00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:06,103
[rock music]
109
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,655
- Hey. I need to drop off
some pipe cleaners
110
00:04:08,724 --> 00:04:10,758
for my lesson
later today.
111
00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,172
- Okay.
112
00:04:21,413 --> 00:04:22,655
- Can I ask you something?
113
00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:25,241
- Sure.
- How is driving?
114
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:27,034
- What?
- Driving.
115
00:04:27,103 --> 00:04:28,896
How hard for you
would you say it is?
116
00:04:28,965 --> 00:04:31,206
- Cecelia, did you
just learn English?
117
00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:32,689
- Here's the thing.
118
00:04:32,758 --> 00:04:34,517
I got myself
in a bit of a pickle.
119
00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:36,206
Deb made me her
second-in-command
120
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,413
to take her to the hospital
in case she goes into labor
121
00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:40,379
while Damien has
rehearsal or a gig
122
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,827
or is watching
"Ghost Hunters."
123
00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:42,965
But there's
one little problem.
124
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:45,103
- What's that?
- I can't drive.
125
00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:48,724
- Oh...that explains
the ice storm biking.
126
00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:50,344
- I was hoping
you could teach me?
127
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:52,137
- I'd be happy to.
I love helping people
128
00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:54,241
learn to adhere to rules.
I can do it on my free period.
129
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:57,724
- Oh, that'd be wonderful.
Good karma's coming your way.
130
00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,862
- Ugh.
I totally believe that.
131
00:04:59,931 --> 00:05:02,034
One time, I donated
a monogrammed charm bracelet
132
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:04,172
to the Salvation Army,
and my ex-boyfriend
133
00:05:04,241 --> 00:05:06,172
ended up buying it and giving
it to me for my birthday.
134
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:08,482
- Aw, that is karma.
- I wasn't finished.
135
00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:10,482
I broke up with him
for shopping for me
136
00:05:10,551 --> 00:05:12,034
at the Salvation Army.
137
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,965
Now, that's karma.
138
00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:18,068
[eerie music]
139
00:05:18,137 --> 00:05:20,827
- This looks like
a Dexter kill room.
140
00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:24,689
- Diego, you are way
too young for "Dexter."
141
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,862
Plus, that finale was abysmal.
Try "The Wire."
142
00:05:27,931 --> 00:05:30,896
Guys, everything
is going to be okay
143
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:33,862
as long as we protect
ourselves from these bugs.
144
00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:35,758
- But aren't bugs
good for the environment?
145
00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:38,068
- [scoffs]
These are not
146
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,586
the good kind.
147
00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:42,275
These are the kind
that gnaw on your scalp
148
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:45,241
like it's a turkey leg
at a Ren Faire.
149
00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:49,103
Now, put on your ponchos.
150
00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:51,758
A storm's a-comin'.
151
00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:54,862
- Okay, now that we've
wet wiped the console,
152
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,724
we can put on
our driving slippers.
153
00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,724
- Oh, I don't have those.
- Not to worry.
154
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,655
I have a spare pair
for you right here.
155
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:04,758
Please place your...
Birkenstocks
156
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:06,827
in this bag...
157
00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:10,344
I'll give them back to you
at the end of the lesson.
158
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,000
Or, if you suddenly decide
159
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:13,724
that they're unprofessional
for teaching,
160
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:16,103
I can always dispose
of them for you.
161
00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,482
- Is this a new car?
- Thank you for asking.
162
00:06:18,551 --> 00:06:20,275
It's a Chrysler
Pacifica Hybrid.
163
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:22,793
It's the last big purchase
I made
164
00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:25,793
before I became destitute
two weeks ago.
165
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,482
Let's start with
an easy maneuver.
166
00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:32,137
Just put the car in drive,
167
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:35,103
coast forward, and stop
at the end of the lot.
168
00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,517
Ha.
169
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:45,241
[brakes screech]
170
00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:48,275
Okay. You can take it
easy with the braking.
171
00:06:48,344 --> 00:06:51,275
You don't need to brake until
we get to the end of the lot.
172
00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:55,586
Cecilia! Stop braking!
You're gonna make me sick!
173
00:06:55,655 --> 00:06:57,310
- Should I switch gears?
174
00:06:57,379 --> 00:06:58,482
- Watch out!
- Oh!
175
00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,620
- Doops!
176
00:06:59,689 --> 00:07:02,000
- Peas and rice!
177
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,862
You almost hit me!
- Sorry!
178
00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:07,206
Caroline's teaching me
how to drive.
179
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,931
- This is retribution
for calling Martha Stewart
180
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,517
a criminal, isn't it?
- What? No!
181
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,344
I wasn't even driving.
182
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,172
And she did her time.
183
00:07:16,241 --> 00:07:18,724
- Thanks for seeing me,
Pastor Ted.
184
00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,379
- What's nippin' at ya,
Mary Louise?
185
00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:21,724
You seem burdened.
186
00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:24,793
- Well, I'm in
a relationship now,
187
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,517
and I'm waiting
until marriage
188
00:07:27,586 --> 00:07:29,724
to...you know.
189
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,379
- Do the sex.
190
00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:32,724
- Yes.
191
00:07:32,793 --> 00:07:34,413
But there's other things
I wanna do
192
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:38,103
with my man friend, and I
feel like I'm not allowed.
193
00:07:38,172 --> 00:07:39,172
- You're not.
194
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,758
- Okay.
195
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,068
And I don't want to
challenge tradition.
196
00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:44,620
It's just...
197
00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:46,241
I see a future with him,
198
00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:49,896
and my feelings are...
really strong.
199
00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:53,379
Really... reallystrong.
200
00:07:53,448 --> 00:07:55,206
Like I'm gonna explode.
201
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,310
Like literally,
my blood and guts--puu!
202
00:07:58,379 --> 00:07:59,793
I'm dying here.
203
00:07:59,862 --> 00:08:01,862
- Yeah, I'm picking up
everything
204
00:08:01,931 --> 00:08:03,482
you're puttin' down,
champ,
205
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,862
but rules is rules.
206
00:08:04,931 --> 00:08:07,379
[laughs]
No sex before marriage
207
00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:10,448
includes everything--
hand jobs, foot jobs,
208
00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:12,310
rim jobs, no jobs.
209
00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:14,620
You gotta consider yourself
unemployed sexually.
210
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:15,965
That's the way it is.
211
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:17,965
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
212
00:08:18,034 --> 00:08:19,758
And some'll tell ya
the butt is a loophole,
213
00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:21,724
but unfortunately...
214
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,275
it's just a hole.
215
00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:25,241
- Uh-huh...
216
00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:30,172
- You see, God put all of
this sexual energy
217
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,862
in your body,
218
00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:33,793
but he doesn't want you
to act on it.
219
00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:36,206
I suppose it's just
another one of his
220
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,862
great mysteries.
221
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,275
- So what do I do?
222
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:43,827
- I think you have to find
a non-sexual way to
223
00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:46,482
burn off that energy.
224
00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:48,620
- [exhales]
225
00:08:48,689 --> 00:08:50,206
- Just out of curiosity,
226
00:08:50,275 --> 00:08:53,172
do you have a photo
of this guy?
227
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:57,068
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Oh, great.
228
00:08:58,448 --> 00:09:01,241
Oh, yeah. Wow.
229
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,793
He, uh...
230
00:09:02,862 --> 00:09:04,758
Could you email
this photo?
231
00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:07,344
So I can pray for him.
232
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,896
- Oh.
233
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,448
[rock music]
234
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,827
- Okay. That took
way too long, Carl.
235
00:09:13,896 --> 00:09:16,068
You're what we call
a calculator person.
236
00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:17,517
Just use one from now on.
237
00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:19,896
- Why does Henry have to
live in a cage?
238
00:09:19,965 --> 00:09:22,655
- It's not a cage.
It's a private lounge.
239
00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:26,413
Henry has tiny, nasty little
vermin Airbnb-ing his scalp.
240
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,793
He needs to stay away from us
so we don't get what he's got.
241
00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:29,931
Comprende?
242
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,068
- Gimme!
- Marcus.
243
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,689
Stop taunting Henry!
- I want that candy bar!
244
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:37,206
- Ah-ah--
245
00:09:37,275 --> 00:09:38,758
No!
246
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,103
[kids screaming]
You're all gonna get it!
247
00:09:41,172 --> 00:09:44,793
Stay back, Carl.
I'll protect you.
248
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,448
- I couldn't stop
scratching all night.
249
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:53,344
- Me either.
I'm exhausted!
250
00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:54,655
[ominous music]
251
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,586
- They're like zombies.
[gasps]
252
00:09:56,655 --> 00:10:00,103
Scratchers.
253
00:10:00,172 --> 00:10:01,862
Listen, Mavis.
I know you hate me
254
00:10:01,931 --> 00:10:03,896
for not acknowledging
your existence, etcetera,
255
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:06,482
but we need to send
these infected kids home now.
256
00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:07,965
We've got scratchers
everywhere!
257
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:09,793
- I already explained
the new policy to you.
258
00:10:09,862 --> 00:10:11,551
- Okay, you're not
hearing me,
259
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,068
so once again,
I'm going to ignore you.
260
00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:15,379
Where's Brent?
I can't live like this.
261
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,551
- You'll survive
just like you did in 2012
262
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,413
when you had crabs.
263
00:10:19,482 --> 00:10:20,862
- [gasps] HIPAA, Mavis!
264
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:22,310
And there was
an upside to that.
265
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,172
It drove me to get
my first Brazilian.
266
00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:26,275
Now, tell Brent
I wanna talk to him.
267
00:10:26,344 --> 00:10:27,482
- He's busy.
268
00:10:27,551 --> 00:10:29,620
[Brent grunts]
269
00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:31,689
Ooh...ah...
270
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,862
- He's doing Capoeria
in his office.
271
00:10:34,931 --> 00:10:36,275
- He doesn't have time
for you,
272
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,000
you Dollar Store
Lara Flynn Boyle!
273
00:10:38,068 --> 00:10:39,551
- [gasps]
274
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:42,758
- [panting]
275
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:46,068
[panting, grunting increases]
276
00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:48,620
Oh, oh, must keep climbing!
277
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,413
Must bike fasterrrrr!
278
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:54,310
Aaaaaaahhhh!
279
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:56,931
- Okay, this time
we'll work on parking.
280
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,862
Easy peasy, since my
award-winning Pacifica
281
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:01,413
has park assist.
Just put it in reverse,
282
00:11:01,482 --> 00:11:03,931
and the front and rear
sensors will help guide you.
283
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,517
[soft chime]
284
00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:06,689
- Like this?
285
00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:08,068
- Excellent work.
In no time,
286
00:11:08,137 --> 00:11:09,793
you'll be like
a normal person.
287
00:11:09,862 --> 00:11:12,620
Now, step on the brakes.
Stop.
288
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,586
Put it in drive,
and it'll back in.
289
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,275
- Ohhhh!
[car beeping]
290
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,724
[brakes screech]
291
00:11:18,793 --> 00:11:20,068
- Is this because
I deleted
292
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,793
"The Property Brothers"
from your DVR?
293
00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:24,172
- No, I--
You did what?
294
00:11:24,241 --> 00:11:25,379
- I don't like how you
watch that show
295
00:11:25,448 --> 00:11:26,689
with your mouth open!
296
00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:28,655
- It's not my fault
two brothers together
297
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:29,931
form the perfect man.
298
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,310
- That's it, Care Bear.
299
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:33,275
I'm teaching Cecelia
how to drive.
300
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,482
Consider yourself
relieved from your duties.
301
00:11:35,551 --> 00:11:38,379
- Fine. But if anything
happens to the Pacif--
302
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,241
- I'm not gonna use
the Pacifica.
303
00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:41,896
I know how you feel
about this.
304
00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:43,827
You called out its name
while making love.
305
00:11:43,896 --> 00:11:47,000
I'll use my car.
306
00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:52,965
- For the record,
in my head,
307
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:55,931
I was being taken
in the Pacifica,
308
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,862
not by the Pacifica.
309
00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:02,931
[energetic music]
310
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,068
♪ ♪
311
00:12:07,137 --> 00:12:09,586
- We finished our subtraction
problem, Ms. Bennigan.
312
00:12:09,655 --> 00:12:10,931
- Just a couple more
minutes.
313
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,275
I gotta get
the demons outta me.
314
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:14,379
Aah!
315
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:16,827
Aaah!
316
00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:20,241
Uhhh!
317
00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:23,793
- Okay, guys,
once you finish your math,
318
00:12:23,862 --> 00:12:25,517
move on to social studies.
319
00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:28,344
After social studies,
it's free reading.
320
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:32,137
After that, just...
be creative.
321
00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:35,379
- You're not coming back,
are you?
322
00:12:35,448 --> 00:12:36,586
- Of course I am.
323
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:37,827
[zip]
324
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:39,827
I'm just going on
a supply run.
325
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:42,758
[dramatic music]
326
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:46,758
- [groaning]
327
00:12:46,827 --> 00:12:50,275
[screaming]
I'm still...horny!
328
00:12:58,551 --> 00:12:59,689
- [gasps]
329
00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:01,206
What are you doing here?
330
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:02,206
- What are you
doing here?
331
00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:04,137
- You're acting shifty.
332
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:06,068
Have you been infected?
- No.
333
00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,620
Have you?
- No.
334
00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:10,275
- How do I know
you're telling the truth?
335
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:11,586
How many people
have you slept with?
336
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,413
- What does that have to
do with anything?
337
00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:15,137
- I don't know.
I was just curious.
338
00:13:15,206 --> 00:13:17,000
Whatever. I'm trying
to get lice shampoo.
339
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,724
These scratchers are not
gonna take me down.
340
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,172
- I'm here for the same thing.
341
00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:22,137
Maybe we should join forces.
342
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:24,586
- Fine. But if we get
recognized as heroes,
343
00:13:24,655 --> 00:13:28,034
I'm doing the interviews.
344
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,068
- Look what I got.
345
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,689
It's from
the lost and found!
346
00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:35,896
- Carl, why are you wearing
someone else's hat
347
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,793
when there's a lice outbreak?
348
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:39,482
[thudding]
- [gasps]
349
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,931
[thumping]
350
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,827
[suspenseful music]
351
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:48,517
♪ ♪
352
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:50,655
- It's so itchy!
353
00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:53,241
- Aaaah!
354
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,931
- Carl, find an empty classroom
and lock yourself in it.
355
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,620
Do not come out until
the final bell rings.
356
00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,965
- I can handle it.
I'm not a little kid.
357
00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:03,517
- Yes, you are!
Now, go!
358
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:07,000
- They're everywhere.
Here...
359
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:09,034
Put this on.
- [whimpers]
360
00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:11,827
- We've got to find a place to
ride out the rest of the day.
361
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,413
- [soft sobs]
362
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:16,551
- [panting]
363
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:19,241
- I know it's wrong to act
on your sexual impulses but--
364
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:21,448
Aaah!
- Mary Louise! Uh--
365
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,000
Mary Louise,
what are you doing here?
366
00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:24,793
- No! I'll come back later!
367
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,172
- It's not what you think.
368
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,586
I'll see you
at the pancake breakfast!
369
00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:37,620
- This poncho
is so unflattering.
370
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:41,103
- Try being front-loaded
with a tiny human.
371
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,448
Shh!
- [gasps]
372
00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:45,482
Did you hear that?
If you listen,
373
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,689
you can hear them scratching.
[scratching sounds]
374
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,586
- Hey, guys.
both: Aah!
375
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,137
- Still lice-free.
376
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:54,620
- Carl! I just told you
to find an empty room!
377
00:14:54,689 --> 00:14:57,551
[sighs]
I can't with this kid.
378
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:58,724
[dramatic musical sting]
379
00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:00,689
- Get out!
- Brent!
380
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,172
- They got me!
381
00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:04,275
My Propecia treatments...
382
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:06,758
- Brent's infected.
We need to help him!
383
00:15:06,827 --> 00:15:08,758
- No, Chelsea!
384
00:15:08,827 --> 00:15:10,517
The Brent you knew
is gone.
385
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:14,000
- No--
- We have to save ourselves.
386
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:17,827
[dark music]
387
00:15:17,896 --> 00:15:19,241
- If Brent goes bald,
388
00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:21,379
no one is gonna want to
bang him.
389
00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:24,137
He can't rely on
his personality.
390
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:26,862
He's a total dick.
- I know.
391
00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:28,275
I know.
392
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,965
- And what do we do
when we see the red light?
393
00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:33,206
- We stop.
- And the yellow light?
394
00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:34,517
- We slow down.
We've been covering
395
00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:36,241
traffic lights
for 20 minutes.
396
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,551
I think I'm ready
to drive.
397
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,758
- You're not. You almost
ran me over twice,
398
00:15:39,827 --> 00:15:41,172
for Peter's sake.
399
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,344
It's good for you
to just get used to
400
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,034
being in a car,
401
00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:48,103
feeling the interior
on your back,
402
00:15:48,172 --> 00:15:50,172
the floor
beneath your feet.
403
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,344
Just taking in
your surroundings.
404
00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:54,103
- It's kinda like
meditating.
405
00:15:54,172 --> 00:15:56,137
We're encouraged
to take in the space around us
406
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,689
before we close our eyes.
407
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:02,620
- Okay. Except we can't
close our eyes while driving.
408
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,517
- This is the safest I've felt
all day.
409
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:10,517
- I finally feel like
I can breathe again.
410
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:11,758
- Hi, Miss Snap.
411
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,275
- Carl, shut the door!
412
00:16:13,344 --> 00:16:15,931
You always do the dumbest
fucking things!
413
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,517
- Miss Snap?
- Miss Snap?
414
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:20,034
- Ruuuuun!
415
00:16:20,103 --> 00:16:23,517
[dramatic music]
416
00:16:23,586 --> 00:16:31,000
♪ ♪
417
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,482
- Leave it! We have to get to
the front office!
418
00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:04,068
That's the only place
we'll find sanctuary!
419
00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:08,000
[suspenseful music]
420
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,482
[doorknob rattling]
421
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,689
- Let us in!
They're coming for us!
422
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:14,000
Please, Mavis!
423
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,965
The office
is our only hope!
424
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:19,344
[both crying]
425
00:17:21,655 --> 00:17:23,103
Aah!
426
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,068
- Not gonna happen,
you human ostrich.
427
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:26,413
- Aah! No!
428
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,655
No, no, no, no, Mavis.
Mavis!
429
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:30,241
No--aahhhh!
430
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,034
- Oh...[crying]
431
00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,758
Hello, Green Apple!
432
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:39,551
[Ms. Snap continues screaming]
433
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,862
- All right,
I think we're ready.
434
00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:44,034
Let's put the car
in drive.
435
00:17:44,103 --> 00:17:45,586
- Will do.
436
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,517
Aah! They're coming!
- No, no, no, no--
437
00:17:54,034 --> 00:17:55,241
- Aah!
- Aah!
438
00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:58,068
Care Bear!
- Oh! Oh, my Gaia!
439
00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:59,793
I am so sorry!
440
00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:01,793
- Binky boo!
441
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:05,034
- Is this because
I called LeAnn Rimes
442
00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:06,517
a reality star?
443
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,758
- She was a singer
first.
444
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,586
Caroline, are you okay?
445
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:14,827
[dramatic music]
446
00:18:14,896 --> 00:18:16,689
- Lice!
447
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:20,103
- Aah!
- Aah!
448
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:22,310
♪ ♪
449
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:25,517
[mellow music playing]
450
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:32,620
♪ ♪
451
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:35,137
- I need to
tell you something.
452
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:37,517
- [sighs]
Is it my cologne?
453
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:39,689
Blake said it smells
like carpet cleaner.
454
00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:41,586
- No, it's not that.
455
00:18:46,034 --> 00:18:48,482
I'm ready to do...
456
00:18:48,551 --> 00:18:50,000
more...
457
00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:51,517
with you.
458
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:54,068
- Where's this
coming from?
459
00:18:54,137 --> 00:18:56,655
- From the realization
that even the purest people
460
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,586
can be complete animals.
461
00:18:58,655 --> 00:19:02,068
I love you.
I'm ready to do
462
00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:03,793
more stuff with you.
463
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:07,758
I do wanna have sex
one day, but...
464
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:09,862
not until we're married.
465
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:14,724
I mean, I'm married
to...to someone or...
466
00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:16,551
whoever.
467
00:19:24,758 --> 00:19:27,482
- [gasps]
- Are you sure you're okay?
468
00:19:27,551 --> 00:19:30,931
- [deep voice]
Get back down there.
469
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,758
[mellow music]
470
00:19:34,827 --> 00:19:36,620
♪ ♪
471
00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:44,137
[rock music]
472
00:19:44,206 --> 00:19:47,310
- ♪ She's got the look
that you want to know ♪
473
00:19:47,379 --> 00:19:49,931
♪ You want to know,
whoa-oa-oa ♪
474
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,000
♪ She's such a lady ♪
475
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,655
♪ She's got the look ♪
476
00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:57,275
♪ That you want to know,
you want to know ♪
477
00:19:57,344 --> 00:20:00,137
♪ Whoa-oa-oa,
she's such a sexy girl ♪
478
00:20:00,206 --> 00:20:01,517
♪ ♪
479
00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,655
♪ She's got the look...♪
480
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,241
- Bitch got ate out.
481
00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:08,620
- ♪ She's such a sexy girl ♪
482
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,448
[rock music]
483
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:20,448
♪ ♪
484
00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:22,896
- ♪ I'm gonna teach her ♪
485
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:25,379
♪ ♪
486
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:27,758
♪ Learn what you need ♪
487
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,137
♪ ♪
488
00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,586
♪ Said I'm gonna teach her ♪
489
00:20:32,655 --> 00:20:33,827
♪ ♪
490
00:20:33,896 --> 00:20:36,586
[snoring]
33399
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