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1
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:10,233
- [grunting]
2
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,900
[exhaling rapidly]
3
00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,667
- [gasping]
- Oh!
4
00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:16,467
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
5
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:18,100
Yeah!
6
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:19,900
- [gasps]
7
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:23,100
[rock music]
8
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,933
- * Tear it down *
9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,700
* Tear it down *
10
00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:29,433
- "The pioneers were
the first people to settle
11
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,033
in the North American frontier."
12
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,100
Well, technically,
it was the Native Americans,
13
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,167
but in public school, we only
recognize them at Thanksgiving.
14
00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:37,600
- Ms. Snap?
- Yes?
15
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,833
- What are you supposed to be?
16
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:42,467
- I am sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
17
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:45,567
And I order you to pay attention
to this lesson!
18
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:46,500
[gasps]
19
00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:48,400
[gavel clatters]
Okay.
20
00:00:48,467 --> 00:00:51,300
"Most pioneers traveled West
along the Oregon trail,
21
00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,733
"but some traveled to...
California.
22
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,700
"Which brings us
to the most infamous
23
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:58,667
tragedy of westward migration:
The Donner Party."
24
00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:02,133
[thunder claps]
Ooh. Oops.
25
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,833
Hold on.
26
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,967
- What happened
to the Donner Party?
27
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,067
- One second, guys.
This won't refresh.
28
00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:10,733
Um...
29
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:15,867
No internet connection?
Where are we, Botswana?
30
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,833
No service either?
31
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:19,367
Are you kidding me?
32
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,133
- Is everything okay,
Ms. Snap?
33
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,067
- No. We've lost Wi-Fi!
34
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:25,833
- But what happened
to the Donner Party?
35
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,300
- I don't know, okay!
36
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,633
I don't know anything
without Google!
37
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,267
[thunder claps]
[screams]
38
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,833
- What are you supposed to be
anyway?
39
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,533
S&M Downton Abbey?
40
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,567
- I'm Goody Proctor
from "The Crucible."
41
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:41,967
It's a fun little reminder of
the dangers of mass hysteria.
42
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,367
- The Wi-Fi is out!
43
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:45,467
- It's the storm.
No one has service.
44
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:46,833
Pearson called someone,
but they don't know
45
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:47,900
when they can come out.
46
00:01:47,967 --> 00:01:49,233
- This is a nightmare.
47
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:50,433
How am I supposed to
teach my kids
48
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:51,900
without YouTube or Wikipedia?
49
00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:54,567
- Uh, use a book?
- Get serious, Cecilia.
50
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,667
Books are for losers
on public transportation.
51
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:59,133
Besides, where am I
gonna get a book?
52
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,733
Bookstores don't exist
anymore.
53
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,100
- You could try
the school's library.
54
00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,500
- We have a library?
55
00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:07,433
- Yeah, but no one's
been inside for years.
56
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,833
- I heard they found
the librarian, Mrs. Foley's
57
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,067
dead, rotting body
after she fell off a ladder
58
00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,567
while shelving books.
59
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,533
She was decomposing
in the stacks for weeks
60
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,300
before anyone
even noticed she was missing.
61
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:21,267
- They say the R volume
of the Encyclopedia Britannica
62
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,600
crushed her trachea.
63
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:24,700
- That was always
my favorite detail.
64
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:27,967
- Okay, well, I'm clearly
not going in there.
65
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,600
Though I may look the part,
I'm not some hot, naive teen
66
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,467
ready to get killed
in a slasher movie.
67
00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,067
- You have to go in there
if you want to get
68
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:35,367
reference materials for today.
69
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:36,800
- Shh. Do you hear that?
70
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:41,100
[whooshing,
distant eerie whispers]
71
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:42,733
- Oh, no, not again.
72
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,633
Cecelia, I thought you were
going to hide her boom box?
73
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:45,933
- I thought
you were going to do it!
74
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:47,467
- Every year.
75
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,067
Why does she have to ruin
this sacred holiday
76
00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:51,133
every year?
77
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,067
- Hold onto your butts.
78
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:56,233
- * And to my big surprise
they danced around *
79
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:59,900
- * They did the shuffle,
they did the spooky shuffle *
80
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:03,400
* The spooky shuffled caused
quite a kerfuffle *
81
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:06,067
The Spooky Shuffle's back, baby!
82
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,400
And I'm gonna be pumping it
all day long
83
00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:10,433
to get you ghouls
into the spirit.
84
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,733
[laughs evilly and snickers]
85
00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:18,367
- Someone set me on fire
for real.
86
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:19,833
[rock tones]
87
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,067
- Hey!
I made extra kale cookies.
88
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:24,267
Want me to bring some
to your class's Halloween party?
89
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,133
- No, I like my students
this year.
90
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,967
Why would I want to punish them?
91
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:30,467
- Well, look at us!
92
00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:32,867
Don't we make quite a pair?
93
00:03:32,933 --> 00:03:35,400
- Robin Hood and Maid Marian!
How cute!
94
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:38,267
Did you guys plan this?
- What? No!
95
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:39,467
We are not a pair!
96
00:03:39,533 --> 00:03:40,967
We just happened to be dressed
97
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,833
as a famous couple
from English folklore!
98
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:47,567
- * It's the spooky shuffle,
the spooky shuffle *
99
00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:49,900
* It caused quite a kerfuffle *
- Spooky.
100
00:03:49,967 --> 00:03:52,833
- * We did the spooky shuffle,
the spooky shuffle *
101
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,167
- Every year.
102
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:58,067
[door creaking]
103
00:03:58,067 --> 00:04:01,533
- Okay. I literally never knew
this was here.
104
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:06,100
[gasps and shrieks]
105
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,200
Chelsea, it's just a spider web,
not a spider vein.
106
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:27,567
Okay, those shorts are not
doing your hips any favors.
107
00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:29,600
[gasps and shrieks]
108
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:33,433
[chuckles nervously]
Chelsea, get it together.
109
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,967
Oh! [gasps]
110
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:40,067
[chuckles nervously]
111
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,533
It's a book, dumbass.
112
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,700
[dramatic tones]
[screams]
113
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,667
Oh, hell no!
Ain't nobody got time for this!
114
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:57,133
[thunder rumbling]
115
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,233
[coffee pot rattling]
116
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:05,500
- Have you guys ever,
like, seen a ghost?
117
00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:07,267
- A ghost?
118
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,800
- Yeah, you know, someone
who's dead, but then, like...
119
00:05:09,867 --> 00:05:11,833
You saw them in person?
120
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,400
- Chelsea, are you taking
Fen-phen again?
121
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:15,900
- No, I take a natural
supplement
122
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,800
that happens to be sold
on the dark web.
123
00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:20,533
Look, I know that
this sounds crazy,
124
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,833
but this morning when I went
to the library to get a book
125
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,733
on the American Frontier,
126
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,767
I'm pretty sure
I saw Mrs. Foley.
127
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,600
- She's dead.
- I know.
128
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,400
I think I saw her ghost.
129
00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,633
- I once thought I was being
haunted by a ghost Chihuahua.
130
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,167
She would come into my room
at night
131
00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:37,667
and she just wouldn't stop
barking at me.
132
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:39,833
But it turned out that my mom
133
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:43,567
just got a Chihuahua
and didn't tell us.
134
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:45,067
- Chelsea,
you're probably just on edge
135
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,067
because the Wi-Fi is out
and it's Halloween.
136
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:50,567
- Right. Because
you can't see dead people.
137
00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:52,133
Right?
138
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:57,267
- Ah, Maid Marian,
I've been looking for you!
139
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:59,800
Would you be interested
in playing a game
140
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:01,900
of doubles tennis after school?
141
00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:04,600
My herniated disk is
feeling better.
142
00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:08,533
- [gasps and moans]
143
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,567
Why would we play
doubles tennis?
144
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:13,067
That doesn't even make sense.
We are not a team.
145
00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:15,667
- Okay. Sheesh.
146
00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:19,200
Right... [stammers]
It was silly of me to ask.
147
00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:21,167
I better go make sure
148
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:24,767
the boys aren't urinating
in the pumpkins again.
149
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,467
- What was that?
150
00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:33,600
And why are you two dressed
in a couple's costume?
151
00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:35,300
- Is there something going on
between you two?
152
00:06:35,367 --> 00:06:36,667
- What? No.
153
00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:38,300
We did not plan our costumes.
154
00:06:38,367 --> 00:06:41,200
Nothing is going on.
Gross.
155
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,700
- Whoa. Wait.
156
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:44,167
Did you hook up
with Principal Pearson?
157
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:45,400
You hooked up
with Principal Pearson.
158
00:06:45,467 --> 00:06:47,133
[gasps] Oh, my God.
159
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,667
I can't believe you hooked up
with Principal Pearson!
160
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:49,733
- No, I didn't!
161
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,167
And stop saying his name!
162
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,600
Okay, fine.
163
00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:02,133
I didn't hook up with him,
but...
164
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,500
last night, I had a sex dream
about him.
165
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:06,567
[all gasp]
166
00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:08,333
- Rank!
- I know.
167
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:14,067
- In your dream,
was Principal Pearson...naked?
168
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,500
- I don't want to talk about it.
169
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,500
- [gasps]
- Caroline.
170
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,067
There's nothing
to be ashamed of.
171
00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:20,867
People have sex dreams
all the time.
172
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:22,233
- I know,
but people have sex dreams
173
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:23,933
about people
they want to have sex with!
174
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:26,067
And I have no interest in Toby.
175
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,767
- Toby?
176
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:30,400
- Like how naked?
177
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,700
- You're probably subconsciously
attracted to him.
178
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,333
You two are very similar.
179
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,767
Sometimes dreams tell us things
about ourselves
180
00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,333
we don't even know.
181
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,167
- That's how I figured out
I was attracted
182
00:07:39,233 --> 00:07:41,100
to Tony the Tiger.
183
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:43,567
What? He's built.
184
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,300
- There's no way...
185
00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:49,367
I don't like him like that...
at all.
186
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,100
At all.
187
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,667
- Just to confirm,
188
00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:57,133
naked means no clothes,
189
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,900
including
the flute and the maracas?
190
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,100
- One more time, people!
191
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:07,233
- * I was walking through
the graveyard Halloween night *
192
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,967
* When from out of the grave-- *
193
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:12,300
- Mary Louise,
I can hear that stupid song
194
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,833
all the way from my trailer!
195
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,333
[music stops]
196
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,400
I was trying to teach
my students
197
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:21,567
about this sacred Wiccan day
that your people stole from us.
198
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:23,067
- Come on, Deb!
199
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,733
It's Billy Swish's
1962 one-hit wonder!
200
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,467
Halloween's just a
fun goofball holiday.
201
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,067
What's the big deal?
202
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:33,900
- How dare you insult
the closure of the harvest?
203
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:37,300
Halloween is an atrocity
against my faith.
204
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:41,633
This is supposed to be a dark
day where the Earth sleeps
205
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:44,733
and we remember the dead.
206
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,067
But enjoy
your princess costumes.
207
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:53,700
[thunder rumbling]
208
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,833
- Oh, still no service?
What's next?
209
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,733
Picking our food
off trees to eat?
210
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,633
[creaking]
211
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,267
What was that?
212
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,367
- So what happened
to the Donner Party?
213
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:08,067
- I don't know, Dale.
214
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,667
The only party I know about
is "Party of Five."
215
00:09:09,733 --> 00:09:12,200
And that wasn't always a party.
They were orphans.
216
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:15,067
- Was it difficult to travel
on the Oregon Trail?
217
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,133
- I don't know,
but in the computer game
218
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,867
everyone had dysentery.
219
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,333
- Why did some people
go to Oregon
220
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,933
and some people
go to California?
221
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,567
- About the Donner Party--
222
00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:27,133
- Let's play a game. It's called
"stop asking questions."
223
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,433
- Why?
- You just lost, Rhoda!
224
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:32,300
[dramatic music]
225
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:34,500
[screams]
226
00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:36,067
Okay, new game.
227
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,833
Everyone pile your desks in
front of the door
228
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:40,700
and form a protective shield
around Ms. Snap!
229
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:42,400
Move it!
We're in danger!
230
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:45,767
[all screaming]
231
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:51,867
- Hello.
- Yes?
232
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,533
- Are you feeling okay?
233
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,900
- I'm fine.
234
00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:57,600
Can I help you?
235
00:09:57,667 --> 00:10:00,500
- Oh, um...I came by
to pick up
236
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,133
the candy apples
you brought.
237
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,467
I've been dying to get
my hands on them all day.
238
00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:07,200
I can never get enough
of your sweet treats.
239
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,733
[straining]
240
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,800
[grunting]
- [moaning]
241
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:14,800
- Oh, peas and rice!
242
00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:16,767
- Get your filthy hands
off my apples!
243
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,200
- I thought you said the apples
244
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,167
were for me
and the office staff?
245
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:23,100
- No! No more sweet treats
from Maid Marian!
246
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:25,367
Get out!
247
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,533
Go!
248
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,733
- * He did the spooky shuffle,
the spooky shuffle *
249
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,633
* It caused quite a kerfuffle,
the spooky shuffle *
250
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,700
[music stops]
251
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:37,433
- Hey, Debo.
Sorry.
252
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,167
We were just gonna play it
one more time,
253
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:41,267
but we got caught up
in the kerfuffle.
254
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,867
- [forced laugh]
255
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,533
My people didn't go through
2,000 years of oppression
256
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,767
to have to listen to
this garbage on our Holy Day.
257
00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:58,833
Have a blessed Samhain.
258
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,600
- That was my only copy.
259
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,800
- Mary Louise, what happened
to your tape?
260
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,167
- A witch got it.
- What the F?
261
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:13,367
You guys, I am being haunted
by Mrs. Foley!
262
00:11:13,433 --> 00:11:15,300
- What?
- I think your waist trainer
263
00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:17,633
is cutting off the oxygen supply
to your brain.
264
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,300
- Shut up.
This morning,
265
00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:21,467
when I went to the library,
I saw Mrs. Foley's ghost.
266
00:11:21,533 --> 00:11:23,267
And then this afternoon
when I was trying to teach
267
00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,433
without Wi-Fi,
which, by the way,
268
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,867
is impossible,
269
00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,867
she appeared in my classroom.
270
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,767
- That's so scary.
- Oh, no.
271
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:33,433
- It sounds like you may have
encountered a restless spirit.
272
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,633
I dabble in amateur
ghost hunting on the weekends.
273
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:39,967
- I'm sorry, I only believe
in metaphorical ghosts.
274
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,067
Like being haunted
by your dreams.
275
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,567
- Yeah, there's no such thing
as ghosts.
276
00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,900
If you saw something,
it was probably a demon.
277
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:48,333
Oh, Chelsea,
I told you to get baptized!
278
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,533
- I know no one believes me,
but I am not crazy!
279
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,733
- Whoa, no one thinks
you're crazy, Chelsea.
280
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,967
[mouthing]
She crazy.
281
00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:56,767
- Feldman, this is serious.
282
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,333
I really need to get back
in that library.
283
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,467
My kids are driving me nuts
with questions,
284
00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:02,600
and I need one book
on the American Frontier
285
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,800
to get me through this day!
286
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:06,967
- You're not going alone.
287
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,800
We're going with you.
288
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,667
I live for this shit.
289
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:14,667
[dramatic choral music]
290
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:21,567
* *
291
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:43,300
Here we go.
292
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:47,367
Cold...
293
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,767
Cold.
294
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,133
- Oh! Mary Louise!
295
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,500
Your holy water is ruining
296
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:53,833
my Ruth Bader Ginsberg
smoky eye.
297
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,967
- Sorry.
- Cold...cold.
298
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,800
Warm...ooh,
we're getting a reading.
299
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:01,067
You know, she might not
have been able to pass on.
300
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,967
[glass shattering, all shriek]
301
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:04,367
- Sorry, dudes, my bad.
302
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,700
- Feldman,
that's school property.
303
00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,233
- Can we just keep moving?
304
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,067
My class is going to be back
from gym soon.
305
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:11,167
- Let's just find you the book
you need and get out of here.
306
00:13:11,233 --> 00:13:13,467
- Okay.
- Hold up.
307
00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:15,967
We're getting a really
strong heat signature here.
308
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:19,800
- Oh, my God. Mary Louise,
you need to stop with the water.
309
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,833
- These bookshelves are filthy.
310
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,433
I'm gonna go get
my feather duster.
311
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,967
- Hello there.
[all scream]
312
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:26,567
- Here, take her!
- Chelsea, why?
313
00:13:29,867 --> 00:13:31,233
[all screaming]
314
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,933
- What's going on here?
315
00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,767
- Wait. You're alive?
316
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,600
- Chelsea, are you kidding me?
317
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,433
- Okay, you guys are the ones
who told me that she was dead!
318
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,300
- She might be a demon
trying to trick us.
319
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:43,533
That's how my Uncle Pat
got lured into a bathroom stall
320
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,067
by another man at O'Hare.
321
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:46,500
- But you appeared
in my classroom
322
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:47,900
and then just disappeared
into thin air.
323
00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:49,267
- No, no, I just walked away.
324
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:50,967
You seemed so upset.
325
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:52,967
I haven't had a visitor
here in a while
326
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,600
and I just wanted to be sure
327
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,533
that you found
what you were looking for.
328
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,600
- Deb, did you...
329
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:03,167
- It's holy water!
Shut up.
330
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,733
- Then why does everyone think
you're dead?
331
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,233
- Because I've been forgotten,
332
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,767
just like my books.
333
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:11,067
Children used to burst through
these doors
334
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,467
eager to explore.
- What happened?
335
00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:16,467
- In 1997,
a man from Hewlett Packard
336
00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:19,933
came to Fillmore and installed
three personal computers.
337
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,867
And the rest is history.
338
00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,267
Now people only care about
339
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,200
how fast they get
their information,
340
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,067
not whether it's accurate.
341
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,067
- Damn.
342
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:32,067
- But the library never changed.
343
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,200
[mellow guitar music plays]
344
00:14:39,267 --> 00:14:41,967
* Take a stroll with me *
345
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:45,067
* Through these bookcases *
346
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,400
* The library is *
347
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:51,167
* The most magical of places *
348
00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:54,133
- Oh, wow, it's like
a harder, thicker magazine.
349
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,533
- Embalming techniques
of the 1800s.
350
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,900
- A microfiche!
351
00:14:57,967 --> 00:14:59,467
Black people getting
sprayed with hoses!
352
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,133
Gay people getting sprayed
with hoses!
353
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,200
Feminists getting sprayed
with hoses!
354
00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:05,867
[all cheering]
355
00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:09,067
- It's good to have people
back in the library again.
356
00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:12,233
- It's good to be needed again.
357
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,967
- The Donner Party got snowed in
for the winter
358
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,500
and had to eat each other.
359
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,633
Cool!
- Super cool!
360
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,800
- Hey Deb, I was just thinking
it's pretty neat that
361
00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:25,233
Halloween has its origins
in the...
362
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,700
Pagan-Celtic festival
of Samhain.
363
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,267
- It's pronounced "Sah-wen."
364
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,333
And great job
reading that out of that book.
365
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,467
- Rats! You caught me!
366
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,400
Look, I know you were trying
to hide it earlier,
367
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,867
but you seemed to get
a little annoyed with me.
368
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:40,333
Here's the thing.
369
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,833
I just love
that Billy Swish song.
370
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,767
It was the first cool
rock and roll song
371
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,400
I ever got to listen to.
372
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:48,467
The first time I heard it,
my body got all tingly
373
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,667
and I got this funny feeling
down--
374
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:53,133
I get it!
I had the same experience/
375
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,733
Except with
Nine Inch Nails's "Hurt."
376
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,733
Mary Louise, I'm sorry.
377
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,600
It was a real asshole move of me
to destroy your tape.
378
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,733
Here, I found this
in the music catalogue.
379
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,900
- [gasps]
The Spooky Shuffle!
380
00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:08,200
I'm back, baby!
381
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,067
Thanks, Deb.
And don't worry.
382
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,500
I won't play it
until I get home.
383
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:14,400
[spooky voice]
And that's a promise.
384
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:18,800
- "Long Trips, Short Lives."
Oh, I love the pioneers.
385
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,700
Mind if I join you?
386
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:29,067
- He's a good man.
387
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,367
- He is, right?
388
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:39,067
Toby, can I talk to you
out in the hall for a moment?
389
00:16:39,067 --> 00:16:40,533
- Okay.
390
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,067
- I wanted to apologize
for how I've been acting.
391
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,333
- Have I done something wrong?
392
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,600
My tights made you
uncomfortable, right?
393
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,467
The package said
they were opaque.
394
00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:53,133
- No, no, that's not it.
395
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,867
- But you were so mad.
396
00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:58,067
Like Roberta when I used to
offer to take her coat
397
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,067
and she would say,
"Get off of me!"
398
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,467
- I'm sorry.
399
00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,833
I promise it wasn't
that anything you did.
400
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,700
I...
401
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,567
I had a weird dream
about you last night.
402
00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,600
- You killed me, didn't you?
403
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,467
Roberta always dreamt
of killing me.
404
00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:19,500
- No! No, it was
a positive dream.
405
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:21,633
- Then why were you upset?
406
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,967
- This is embarrassing to admit,
407
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:29,733
but it was a...
408
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,267
sex dream.
409
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,733
- [laughing]
410
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,900
[both laughing]
411
00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:40,767
- I know!
412
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:42,333
It's ridiculous.
413
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,667
- No, no, it's not ridiculous.
414
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:47,333
I had a sex dream
about you once.
415
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:52,833
I'm sorry.
416
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,800
That was rude of me
to bring that up
417
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:58,167
and just leave it
hanging like that.
418
00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:00,400
You were magnificent.
419
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,733
- [laughs]
420
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,067
Okay, uh, well...
421
00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:08,467
I have to...
422
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:12,200
I have to get back
to the library.
423
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:15,867
- [exhaling]
424
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,833
- Thank you for bringing
your class here.
425
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,367
It means a lot.
426
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,133
- No, thank you
for opening my eyes
427
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,733
to the beauty of this place
again.
428
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,300
It's so wonderful
to see my students
429
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:27,767
engaging with each other
and excited to--
430
00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:30,900
- The Wi-Fi is back!
We have Wi-Fi!
431
00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:32,067
- Go!
- What?
432
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,933
- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
433
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,933
Get out of here!
Come on, come on, come on.
434
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:38,600
I have to Boomerang now
Get out of my way!
435
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:44,200
[romantic music]
436
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:51,500
* *
437
00:18:57,567 --> 00:19:00,300
[dolphins chattering]
438
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:07,300
* *
439
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,567
- [gasping]
440
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:16,400
[acoustic guitar music]
441
00:19:16,467 --> 00:19:23,700
* *
442
00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:33,900
[rock music]
443
00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:41,067
* *
444
00:19:41,933 --> 00:19:44,567
- * Tear it down *
445
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:47,400
* Tear it down *
446
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:50,167
* Tear it down *
447
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,533
* Tear it down *
448
00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:56,067
- Oh, yeah.
31903
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