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[rock music]
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00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,533
*
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00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:15,033
- [whistling]
Good morning, ladies.
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00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,600
all: Morning!
- Hey!
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00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,100
- Working hard
or hardly working? Huh?
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00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,533
[laughter]
- Working hard.
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00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:21,600
- Oh, boy.
This anybody's?
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00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,467
- Oh, that's mine,
but you can use it.
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00:00:23,467 --> 00:00:26,133
- Thank you.
- Sure, no problem.
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00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:31,400
- Uh-oh, carb attack.
I can never say no to sprinkles.
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[laughter]
- Right?
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00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,800
- It's all downhill from here.
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00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,733
[laughter]
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00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:42,867
- Who was that?
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00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:45,400
[kids playing in background]
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[rock music]
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00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,167
- * Tear it down!
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00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,433
* Tear it down!
19
00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,633
- As you all know,
we had an intruder
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00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:58,133
on school property this morning.
Apparently, he's been hitting up
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00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,900
various elementary schools,
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taking advantage of
free coffee and doughnuts.
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- I knew he was too happy
to be a teacher.
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00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:07,167
- How did a total stranger
get into the school?
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00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,267
- He has my mug.
A stranger used my mug.
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00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:11,667
What if he'd been dangerous?
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00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:13,100
- He couldn't have been
dangerous, could he?
28
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,667
He was wearing pleated
khakis.
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00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,400
- That doesn't mean
he isn't dangerous.
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00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,467
You can't judge someone
based on their appearance.
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00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:20,500
- That's the only way
you can judge someone.
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00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,200
- Wrong, that good-time Charlie
douchebag was probably
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a total pervert.
Meanwhile, nice guys
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00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:28,433
like my husband get pulled over
all the time just because
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00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:32,067
he drives a windowless van
and has a neck tattoo.
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00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,967
- Okay.
Well, everyone should review
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00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:39,833
the Stranger Danger policy
with their classes today.
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- [screams]
It's happening again.
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00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,600
- No, this is--this is
our new head of security
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00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,500
here at Fillmore.
- Pleasure to meet you all.
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I'm Frank Humphrey.
I was a detective for
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00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,767
the Chicago Police Department
for 20 years.
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00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:54,067
- This morning's incident
brought to light
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00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,567
our inadequate security,
and even though we already have
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00:01:57,567 --> 00:02:02,333
a formidable male presence
in this school, me...
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apparently the district felt
that I needed backup.
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00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,667
Here, Frank.
I got these
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so we could keep in contact.
My code name will be Protector.
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Yours will be Guardian.
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00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,067
- I think I'm just gonna
stick with Frank.
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00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,367
- Okay...
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00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,767
Okay, so, Frank and
Protector it is.
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*
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00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,333
- I've been asked to review
the Stranger Danger policy
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with you guys, but I gotta say,
these pansy worksheets
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are nothing compared to
the real world.
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00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,533
Who here's seen the movie
"The Lovely Bones"?
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00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:40,600
Hmm?
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00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:41,867
Well, let me tell
you something,
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00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:44,500
you are all one casual
conversation away
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00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,433
from ending up
in an underground bunker
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00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,533
with Stanley Tucci.
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00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,667
Perverts are everywhere,
which is why I brought in
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this group of potential
perverts.
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00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,067
- Uh, whoa, whoa, Deb,
you said you needed
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00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,367
some teacher volunteers for--
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00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:59,733
- Just an exercise, Spinnoli.
Chill.
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00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:02,500
Now, I've given each
of these teachers
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00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,133
a piece of paper,
all right?
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00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,233
Only one of them
has an "X" on it,
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00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,900
which marks the pervert.
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00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:11,067
Who, out of this group,
looks most likely
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00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,967
to diddle a child?
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00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,133
- Mr. Spinnoli.
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00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,567
- What makes you
think that, Danny?
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00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,233
- Well, he dresses like
a supermarket manager,
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00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:19,667
and he has darting eyes.
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00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,467
- Interesting.
Anyone else?
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00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,633
- Mr. Higgins.
He sweats a lot.
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00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:26,867
- No, it's gotta be
Mr. Spinnoli.
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00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,367
He smells like taco meat.
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00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:30,433
- Let's find out,
shall we?
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00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,600
Which one of you has
the "X"?
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00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,800
[suspenseful music]
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*
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00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,433
- [gasps]
- Not one of you guessed
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00:03:41,433 --> 00:03:43,133
Ms. Spencer was the pervert.
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00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,333
Obviously, Mr. Spinnoli
looks like the most
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00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,367
stereotypical pervert--
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00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:47,967
- I need to defend myself.
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00:03:47,967 --> 00:03:50,400
- But the real lesson is
you can't tell if someone's
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00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,067
a pervert simply
by their appearance.
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00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,600
Remember...
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00:03:55,567 --> 00:04:00,100
all: Perverts are everywhere.
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00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,633
- Everywhere.
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00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,500
- I'll probably
see you there sometime.
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00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:10,433
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
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00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:13,100
Someone's got a boyfriend.
[laughs]
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00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,500
Ahh!
Balls!
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00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,833
- After the intruder,
I got a security doll.
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00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,067
It makes me less of
a target driving alone.
102
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,467
- Cool.
Normally, I just
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00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:22,733
carry a gun around.
I mean, it's not a real gun,
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00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,300
it's a fake gun.
I just pull it out when
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00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,467
I feel like I'm in danger.
But this makes
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00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,667
a lot of sense, too.
Right on.
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00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:34,333
- Hmm. [murmurs]
You unbuckle too...
108
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,500
Okay.
109
00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:41,500
Kind of stuck.
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00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:47,533
Let's see if I can
just loosen this now...
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00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,067
- What's Caroline doing?
112
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,433
- Ah, you're really
stuck in here.
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00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:54,933
Gonna be late.
Oh, God.
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00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,767
- Good for her.
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00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,167
- Couldn't you have left
that thing in the car?
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00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,500
- No, he cost $500.00.
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00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:08,133
That's like leaving a 32-inch
flat screen TV in the backseat.
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00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,133
- You shouldn't need
that freaky security doll.
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00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,900
We should all feel safe
in our own school.
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00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,633
- I'm so mad at myself.
I kept thinking
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00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:15,467
there was something weird
about that guy yesterday,
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00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:16,600
and I didn't say anything.
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00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,733
- Me too.
I didn't want
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00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,133
to hurt his feelings.
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00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:21,767
- Oh, I knew he wasn't
an employee, but because
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00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:24,800
all of you acted like
you knew him, I had to too.
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00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,933
I can't believe you guys
didn't say anything.
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00:05:26,933 --> 00:05:28,567
This just proves
the women of Fillmore
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00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,767
need to feel more empowered.
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00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,233
- Wow, Chelsea,
very progressive.
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00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:33,733
- Thanks, I read an incredibly
thought-provoking
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00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,300
Buzzfeed list on empowerment.
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00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,900
- [sighs]
And you ruined it.
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00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,133
- [gasps]
We should hold a workshop.
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00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:42,067
- [gasps]
- Together, as best friends.
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00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,233
- Totally.
We can hold workshops all week
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00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:47,400
empowering women to speak up
and defend themselves.
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00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,900
We'll call it
"Women Empowering Women."
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00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:50,900
- "By Women."
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00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:51,900
- "For Women."
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00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:52,833
- Can dudes come?
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00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,733
What?
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00:05:55,733 --> 00:05:58,133
- Let's go see if we can
reserve the cafeteria.
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Yes!
[laughs]
145
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,100
- God, I love acting
all political.
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00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,833
- Somewhere, Gloria Steinem
just puked,
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00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,467
and she doesn't know why.
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00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:07,600
- Okay, that sex doll
is creeping me out.
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00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,200
I gotta go.
- Same.
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00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,833
- Good call.
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00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:27,067
- No reason for us
both to sit alone.
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What?
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00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:36,133
- Thank you all
for coming today.
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00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:39,767
It's an important time
for us all to be united.
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00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,867
Ms. Bennigan and I feel
very passionate about making
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00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:45,300
the women of Fillmore
feel more safe.
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00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,367
What are you doing?
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00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,767
No one here is deaf.
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00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:50,067
- Oh, hmm, sorry.
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00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:52,267
- So this week we'll be holding
a series of workshops
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that will tackle different ways
we can all feel more empowered.
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00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:57,267
Now, I know all you queens
thought something was up
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00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:59,467
with that creep, but no one
said anything because we're all
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00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:01,100
too concerned with being polite.
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00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,100
So it is time to
make your voices heard.
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00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,200
- Which is the title
of our first workshop.
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00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:10,933
- Okay.
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00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,800
Make your voice heard...
- Make your voices heard
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00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,800
by being a bitch.
- By being a big b-word.
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00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,267
- Okay, um, I think
there's a way to speak up
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00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:19,700
and not be a bitch.
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00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,400
- You're wrong,
and your opinion is stupid.
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00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,067
See?
I just worked the muscle
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00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,633
that will allow me
to confront a man
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00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:28,067
who is making me
uncomfortable.
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Why are we, as women,
so scared to be mean, huh?
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Because we might hurt
someone's feelings?
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Good.
Hurt someone's feelings,
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00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:40,200
insult someone, be a bitch.
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00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,600
Let's do an exercise.
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00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,867
I want to encourage someone
to speak up and be a bitch.
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00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,333
Yes, Barb.
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00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,900
- I think it's weird
Ms. Bennigan
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wears Velcro sneakers.
They're for people
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with head injuries.
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00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,267
- That is very bitchy, Barb.
Great job.
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00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,833
Does anyone else have anything
bitchy they want to say?
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00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,533
Denise!
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00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:03,767
- It makes me uncomfortable
that I can see Ms. Bennigan's
190
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,767
maxi pad through her slacks.
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00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,467
- That is very brave.
Thank you, Denise.
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00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:11,833
- And every time she sits down,
you can hear it deflate.
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00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:13,133
- Ooh, v bitchy, v true.
194
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,700
- Okay, Chelsea,
can we have a little--
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00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,667
- Not now, these bitches
are finally speaking up.
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00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:17,967
Can you just take one
for the team?
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00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:19,467
You're being so
selfish right now.
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00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,167
Anyone else?
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00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,900
- And I think it's gross that
when you hug Ms. Bennigan,
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00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,667
you can feel her full-on bush.
201
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:27,467
- Yes, let your bitchy
voices be heard!
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00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,200
[laughs]
203
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,567
[rock music]
- * Tear it down!
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00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:37,400
* Tear it down!
205
00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:46,067
- Why would I go to
their dumb workshop
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00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,233
when none of them
will come to
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00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:48,933
my cupcake
decorating tournaments?
208
00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:52,967
Ugh, it's so hard.
Nobody shares my interests.
209
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:59,167
[romantic guitar music]
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00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,733
*
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00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,733
Nice to have
someone to vent to.
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00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,600
*
213
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,400
Thanks for listening,
Dollton.
214
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:12,833
[rock music]
215
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,233
- Unattended backpack!
216
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:19,133
Protector here, code backpack,
code backpack.
217
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,667
- You don't need
to use the walkie
218
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,533
when I'm standing
right here.
219
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:24,067
- Roger that.
220
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,067
Ooh, oh...
221
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,400
- This your backpack?
222
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:32,167
- Hot zone clear.
Hot zone clear.
223
00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:35,300
Great work, Guardian.
Oh, shoot--Frank.
224
00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:38,233
- Hello, Marvin.
225
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:40,333
Can I interest you
in a piece of candy?
226
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:41,867
- Sure.
227
00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:44,067
- There's a fictional
tranquilizer in that, Marvin.
228
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,700
You just got Tucci-ed.
Get in the bunker!
229
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,167
- Deb, I think you're
taking this too far.
230
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,733
- Does anyone else wanna
be dead like Marvin?
231
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:55,267
- Deb!
232
00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:57,700
- The age of innocence is over
one you learn about diddlers.
233
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,767
Besides, this is serious.
234
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,467
This app shows
all of the registered
235
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:03,767
sex offenders in our area.
236
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:06,100
- Oh, my God,
they're everywhere.
237
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,667
- Got my eye on you, Phil.
238
00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:11,567
- Ooh, looking at Tinder?
239
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,867
[gasps]
I know that guy.
240
00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:15,633
I totally sent him a nude.
[laughs]
241
00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:18,033
Is this where
the cool kids are?
242
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:20,267
Who wants to
party-party?
243
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:24,433
- They found her body
in a riverbank 56 days later.
244
00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:28,533
And that is why you always
walk in a well-lit area
245
00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:31,700
and never take a wine cooler
from a stranger.
246
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,100
- What is going on here?
247
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,233
Did you start the workshop
early without me?
248
00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:39,767
- Oh, I must've gotten
the time wrong.
249
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,967
Or maybe
it's my brain injury.
250
00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:45,167
I wear Velcro shoes,
remember?
251
00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:47,033
- Oh, my God,
get over it.
252
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,933
Okay, ladies.
Today's workshop
253
00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:51,767
is entitled "How to Keep
Yourself Safe in Public."
254
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:54,367
- Oh, actually, Chelsea,
I had my own ideas
255
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:55,567
for the workshop today.
256
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,200
- Oh, did you?
- Yeah, I did.
257
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,300
We're gonna talk about
one of the most important ways
258
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:04,067
to keep yourself safe in public:
always dress appropriately.
259
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:06,367
Take a crop top and stripper
shoes, for example.
260
00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:09,200
- These aren't stripper shoes.
They're Steve Madden.
261
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,267
- Dressing like an extra
in "Showgirls" puts you
262
00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:13,400
at a higher risk
of being victimized,
263
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,767
which is why I'm here
to empower you all with this.
264
00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,700
- A dog sweater?
- It's a dickie.
265
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:22,967
Keep yourself safe
by covering up
266
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:25,333
your winnebagoes.
Remember, ladies:
267
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:27,700
modest is hottest.
268
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,067
- Somewhere,
Elizabeth Warren just
269
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,667
went blind,
and she doesn't know why.
270
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,367
- Can I talk to you
in the hall for a minute?
271
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:34,500
- I'm a little busy
with my chaste lady pals.
272
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:35,467
- Now.
- Okay.
273
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,067
- What is wrong with you?
274
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,067
Telling women to cover up
is not empowering.
275
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,067
Do you not follow Emily
Ratajkowski on Instagram?
276
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,433
- Well, at least
I'm not teaching them
277
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,500
to be bitchy and mean
to their best friend.
278
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,300
If you were wearing
my friendship bracelet,
279
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,067
I'd tell you to cut it off
and throw it away!
280
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,667
- Too late, it's already
in the garbage,
281
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,900
and I'd rather be a bitch
than a victim-blamer.
282
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:56,067
- Who's victim blaming?
I'm just letting everyone know
283
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,067
that if they dress
like a cocktail waitress
284
00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:00,500
on a casino ferry,
there will be consequences.
285
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,233
- I dress--
- Listen, bitches,
286
00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:04,200
we came here for a workshop,
not to sit in there
287
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,633
with our thumbs up our asses.
288
00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:06,900
- 'Scuse me?
289
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,133
- Oh, I was just
using my voice.
290
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,767
- That was yesterday's
workshop, Denise.
291
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,900
And today's workshop
is over.
292
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,367
*
293
00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:18,833
- Is it just me, or is everyone
acting crazy this week?
294
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,533
- Yeah, everyone's
acting totally nuts.
295
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:27,967
Uh-oh, looks like
somebody's got a boo-boo.
296
00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:29,333
["Close to You" begins]
297
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:33,767
My God, I never realized
how big your arms are.
298
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:37,300
You really do
have perfect hair.
299
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:44,067
- * Why do birds
suddenly appear *
300
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:49,933
* Every time you are near?
301
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:55,200
* Just like me,
they long to be *
302
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,533
* Close to you
303
00:12:59,533 --> 00:13:04,867
* Why, ah, ah
304
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,900
* Close to you
305
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,600
- I think I really captured
your inquisitive look.
306
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,467
- * Why, ah, ah...
307
00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,233
- I gotta borrow
your big, weird doll.
308
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,700
- Oh.
- Gotta go down on
309
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,100
the south side and drop off
310
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,467
some Darius Rucker tickets
I sold on Craigslist.
311
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,300
It might or might not
be a setup.
312
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,533
You're cool with this, right?
313
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:28,100
- He likes to listen
to "Show Boat."
314
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,233
- What?
- Never mind.
315
00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:31,633
- Okay.
316
00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,533
- He's just a big,
weird doll...
317
00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:36,100
like you said.
318
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:38,867
- Hey, buddy.
- Hmm?
319
00:13:38,867 --> 00:13:40,100
- You know, I got a puppy
in the back.
320
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,400
You want to pet it?
321
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,333
- Uh...okay.
322
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:47,167
[intense musical buildup]
323
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,367
- You're mine!
324
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:49,933
Welcome to the
rest of your life!
325
00:13:49,933 --> 00:13:51,067
- Ahh!
326
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,400
- You are all victims.
327
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,467
You're lucky this time
it was my husband.
328
00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:59,367
Okay, y'all failed
the field test.
329
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:02,300
You got Tucci-ed.
Out.
330
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,400
You're in the bunker,
and you're in the bunker,
331
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,800
and you're in the bunker,
and y--
332
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,233
Really, Spinnoli?
- He said it was a labradoodle.
333
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,467
- Just get in the bunker.
334
00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:15,567
- Hey, that guy tried
to make me go in the van
335
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,400
this morning,
and I said no.
336
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,633
- Oh, good instincts, Marvin.
Did you call the police?
337
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,300
- No.
- Then you're responsible
338
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,800
for the deaths
of four of your peers.
339
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,333
- Mrs. Adler!
Mrs. Adler!
340
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,367
I saw a pervert.
- How can you be sure?
341
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,133
- Because he was creeping
around the school
342
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,867
and looking through
all the classroom windows.
343
00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,600
- Good work, Tanya.
Let's go call the police.
344
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,067
- Excuse me?
I--I think I left
345
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,333
my inhaler in the van.
346
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,833
- * Tear it down!
347
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,667
- Why doesn't everyone
who really cares
348
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,633
about empowering women
come to the right side
349
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:49,267
of the room.
- And whoever wants to be
350
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,267
empowered without looking
like a cage dancer,
351
00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:52,533
come to my side.
352
00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:55,167
[all arguing]
353
00:14:57,867 --> 00:15:00,133
- What's going on here?
Excuse me, ladies.
354
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,600
Ladies, ladies!
355
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,233
- Frank, I'm so
glad you're here.
356
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,500
- Yes, and the left side
357
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,433
is ready for you
to teach self-defense.
358
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:12,667
- And so is the right side,
which is in fact the right side.
359
00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:16,633
- Okay, I'm only gonna be
teaching one workshop,
360
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,933
so you two need to
figure it out.
361
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:23,233
- Fine, I will be the bigger
and better person...
362
00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:24,767
and say, "I'm sorry."
363
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,433
- I'm sorry, too.
364
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,700
- Things may have gotten
a little out of hand,
365
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,833
but we're good now.
366
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:35,333
- Okay, so why don't we all
come together in one group?
367
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:36,800
- Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
368
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:42,367
Ladies, we do not do
what a man tells us to do.
369
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:48,533
So why don't we all come
together and form one group?
370
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,800
*
371
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,900
- Thanks, dude.
372
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,733
- Dollton!
- Here he is.
373
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,433
- What have you done to him?
374
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,867
- What do you mean?
- He looks like he's
375
00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:00,767
in a Limp Bizkit video.
376
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:02,933
- Cool, right?
I changed his clothes
377
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:06,233
so he'd look like less of a narc
for my Craigslist drop off.
378
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,333
- Did you smoke weed
with Dollton?
379
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:10,333
- I don't remember.
380
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:13,333
[wistful piano music]
381
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:19,800
*
382
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,333
- I feel like I don't
even know you anymore.
383
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,633
*
384
00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:28,700
- [sniffs]
You've changed.
385
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:35,500
*
386
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:39,133
[laughs]
You know I can't
387
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,833
stay mad at you.
388
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,833
Thank you for listening
and not getting defensive.
389
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:50,433
- So who wants to review
some of the self-defense
390
00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:51,867
techniques we just learned?
391
00:16:56,967 --> 00:16:58,500
Great.
Come up.
392
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:03,600
- Ms. Bennigan,
why don't we have you
393
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,967
be the attacker--
- Okay.
394
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,667
- Ms. Snap,
why don't you demonstrate
395
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,367
the counter-move
I just taught you.
396
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:11,933
- My pleasure.
- Okay, so...there.
397
00:17:11,933 --> 00:17:13,067
- So like this?
- Yep.
398
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,600
- Okay.
- And proceed.
399
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,633
Great.
What did she just do wrong?
400
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,600
- [gasps]
Seriously? Oh, my--
401
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,600
- Oh, are you serious?
- Ladies? Ladies, really--
402
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,667
- Serious--[gasps]
- Ms. Bennigan, release her.
403
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,867
- [choking]
- Ms. Bennigan, release her.
404
00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:32,067
[voices fade and echo]
405
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,100
Release!
Release!
406
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,367
[soft music]
407
00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:39,400
- Chelsea?
Chelsea?
408
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,200
Chelsea, it's not your time.
409
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,767
You're a mess.
410
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:47,533
I want you to do
the exact opposite of everything
411
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,867
that you're doing in your life.
412
00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:54,167
Now go back.
413
00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:56,200
Go back.
414
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,400
- [gasps]
415
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,500
Oh, my God.
416
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,767
A man just tried
to tell me what to do!
417
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,400
- * Toby and Frank,
Frank and Toby *
418
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,200
* Saving the day,
protecting each other *
419
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,267
* Men--
Ow!
420
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:14,600
Oww, what are--
what are you doing?
421
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,733
Ah, peas and rice,
you have the wrong person!
422
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:21,533
Ow, ow, please, be gentle,
I have tennis elbow.
423
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,233
- What are you doing?
- That's him!
424
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,700
That's the guy that's been
looking through windows.
425
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,067
- What?
426
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:29,833
- Oh, there's been
a huge misunderstanding.
427
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,067
This is our principal,
not a pervert.
428
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,233
- Sorry, ma'am.
429
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,900
Tennis Elbow still needs
to come downtown.
430
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,600
- Hey, Steve.
It's okay, he's with me.
431
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,433
- Are you sure?
He's got highlights.
432
00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:41,833
- What's wrong with
my highlights?
433
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:44,567
- I'm sure.
He's fine.
434
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:46,300
[handcuffs clicking]
435
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:49,533
- How do you not know who I am?
I am the principal.
436
00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:52,067
- She's a new student.
I'll talk to her.
437
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,500
Did good, Tanya.
438
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:59,167
- Oh, no.
My walkie talkie.
439
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,700
How will we communicate
when we're in different
440
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,667
quadrants, Guardi--
Frank--sorry.
441
00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,800
- We'll figure it out.
442
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:09,733
- We'll figure it out.
443
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,333
Together, as equals.
444
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,100
[epic music]
445
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,133
[music stops]
446
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:20,733
Ow.
447
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:27,800
[engine turns]
448
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,633
- * Tear it down!
449
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:34,533
* Tear it down!
450
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:37,500
- I shouldn't have
strangled you to death.
451
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,800
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
452
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,300
I just wanted
the women of Fillmore
453
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,900
to feel safe enough
to speak up.
454
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,933
- And to not be a target.
- And to defend ourselves.
455
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,733
- But instead, all we did
was insult, target,
456
00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:48,167
and attack each other.
457
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,467
- You don't really think
I look trashy, do you?
458
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:52,100
- Oh, no.
When you dress
459
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,067
like a hooker,
it's intriguing,
460
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,767
like a movie hooker.
- Oh.
461
00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:57,700
[laughs]
462
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,267
- You're, like,
stuck on me. Okay.
463
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,767
- Oh, my stars,
Caroline's getting attacked!
464
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:08,667
[yells]
- This is where we get it right!
465
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,000
- Girl power!
466
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,000
[intense music]
467
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,667
*
468
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,333
Hah!
[both grunting]
469
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,833
- Hey, stop!
470
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:20,167
Stop!
He's one of the good guys!
471
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:21,800
- [grunting]
472
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,533
- I was just trying to
get him into the car.
473
00:20:23,533 --> 00:20:26,333
[overlapping screaming]
- Freak!
474
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,067
- Oh, my God.
Dollton.
475
00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:30,567
- It'll be okay.
[women continue screaming]
476
00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:33,167
- Is that my mug?
34495
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