All language subtitles for Teachers (2016) S02E02 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:10,033 [rock music] 2 00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,533 * 3 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:15,033 - [whistling] Good morning, ladies. 4 00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,600 all: Morning! - Hey! 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,100 - Working hard or hardly working? Huh? 6 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,533 [laughter] - Working hard. 7 00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:21,600 - Oh, boy. This anybody's? 8 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,467 - Oh, that's mine, but you can use it. 9 00:00:23,467 --> 00:00:26,133 - Thank you. - Sure, no problem. 10 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:31,400 - Uh-oh, carb attack. I can never say no to sprinkles. 11 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,633 [laughter] - Right? 12 00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,800 - It's all downhill from here. 13 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,733 [laughter] 14 00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:42,867 - Who was that? 15 00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:45,400 [kids playing in background] 16 00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,200 [rock music] 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,167 - * Tear it down! 18 00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,433 * Tear it down! 19 00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,633 - As you all know, we had an intruder 20 00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:58,133 on school property this morning. Apparently, he's been hitting up 21 00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,900 various elementary schools, 22 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:02,767 taking advantage of free coffee and doughnuts. 23 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,567 - I knew he was too happy to be a teacher. 24 00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:07,167 - How did a total stranger get into the school? 25 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,267 - He has my mug. A stranger used my mug. 26 00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:11,667 What if he'd been dangerous? 27 00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:13,100 - He couldn't have been dangerous, could he? 28 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,667 He was wearing pleated khakis. 29 00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,400 - That doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. 30 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,467 You can't judge someone based on their appearance. 31 00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:20,500 - That's the only way you can judge someone. 32 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,200 - Wrong, that good-time Charlie douchebag was probably 33 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,767 a total pervert. Meanwhile, nice guys 34 00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:28,433 like my husband get pulled over all the time just because 35 00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:32,067 he drives a windowless van and has a neck tattoo. 36 00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,967 - Okay. Well, everyone should review 37 00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:39,833 the Stranger Danger policy with their classes today. 38 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,700 - [screams] It's happening again. 39 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,600 - No, this is--this is our new head of security 40 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,500 here at Fillmore. - Pleasure to meet you all. 41 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:50,167 I'm Frank Humphrey. I was a detective for 42 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,767 the Chicago Police Department for 20 years. 43 00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:54,067 - This morning's incident brought to light 44 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,567 our inadequate security, and even though we already have 45 00:01:57,567 --> 00:02:02,333 a formidable male presence in this school, me... 46 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:05,500 apparently the district felt that I needed backup. 47 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,667 Here, Frank. I got these 48 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:11,433 so we could keep in contact. My code name will be Protector. 49 00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:12,833 Yours will be Guardian. 50 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,067 - I think I'm just gonna stick with Frank. 51 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,367 - Okay... 52 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,767 Okay, so, Frank and Protector it is. 53 00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:27,500 * 54 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,333 - I've been asked to review the Stranger Danger policy 55 00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:34,300 with you guys, but I gotta say, these pansy worksheets 56 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:36,767 are nothing compared to the real world. 57 00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,533 Who here's seen the movie "The Lovely Bones"? 58 00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:40,600 Hmm? 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:41,867 Well, let me tell you something, 60 00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:44,500 you are all one casual conversation away 61 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,433 from ending up in an underground bunker 62 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,533 with Stanley Tucci. 63 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,667 Perverts are everywhere, which is why I brought in 64 00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:53,067 this group of potential perverts. 65 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,067 - Uh, whoa, whoa, Deb, you said you needed 66 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,367 some teacher volunteers for-- 67 00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:59,733 - Just an exercise, Spinnoli. Chill. 68 00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:02,500 Now, I've given each of these teachers 69 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,133 a piece of paper, all right? 70 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,233 Only one of them has an "X" on it, 71 00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,900 which marks the pervert. 72 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:11,067 Who, out of this group, looks most likely 73 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,967 to diddle a child? 74 00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,133 - Mr. Spinnoli. 75 00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,567 - What makes you think that, Danny? 76 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,233 - Well, he dresses like a supermarket manager, 77 00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:19,667 and he has darting eyes. 78 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,467 - Interesting. Anyone else? 79 00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,633 - Mr. Higgins. He sweats a lot. 80 00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:26,867 - No, it's gotta be Mr. Spinnoli. 81 00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,367 He smells like taco meat. 82 00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:30,433 - Let's find out, shall we? 83 00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,600 Which one of you has the "X"? 84 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,800 [suspenseful music] 85 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,833 * 86 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,433 - [gasps] - Not one of you guessed 87 00:03:41,433 --> 00:03:43,133 Ms. Spencer was the pervert. 88 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,333 Obviously, Mr. Spinnoli looks like the most 89 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,367 stereotypical pervert-- 90 00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:47,967 - I need to defend myself. 91 00:03:47,967 --> 00:03:50,400 - But the real lesson is you can't tell if someone's 92 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,067 a pervert simply by their appearance. 93 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,600 Remember... 94 00:03:55,567 --> 00:04:00,100 all: Perverts are everywhere. 95 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,633 - Everywhere. 96 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,500 - I'll probably see you there sometime. 97 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:10,433 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 98 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:13,100 Someone's got a boyfriend. [laughs] 99 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,500 Ahh! Balls! 100 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,833 - After the intruder, I got a security doll. 101 00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,067 It makes me less of a target driving alone. 102 00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,467 - Cool. Normally, I just 103 00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:22,733 carry a gun around. I mean, it's not a real gun, 104 00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,300 it's a fake gun. I just pull it out when 105 00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,467 I feel like I'm in danger. But this makes 106 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,667 a lot of sense, too. Right on. 107 00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:34,333 - Hmm. [murmurs] You unbuckle too... 108 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,500 Okay. 109 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:41,500 Kind of stuck. 110 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:47,533 Let's see if I can just loosen this now... 111 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,067 - What's Caroline doing? 112 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,433 - Ah, you're really stuck in here. 113 00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:54,933 Gonna be late. Oh, God. 114 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,767 - Good for her. 115 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,167 - Couldn't you have left that thing in the car? 116 00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,500 - No, he cost $500.00. 117 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:08,133 That's like leaving a 32-inch flat screen TV in the backseat. 118 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,133 - You shouldn't need that freaky security doll. 119 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,900 We should all feel safe in our own school. 120 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,633 - I'm so mad at myself. I kept thinking 121 00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:15,467 there was something weird about that guy yesterday, 122 00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:16,600 and I didn't say anything. 123 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,733 - Me too. I didn't want 124 00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,133 to hurt his feelings. 125 00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:21,767 - Oh, I knew he wasn't an employee, but because 126 00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:24,800 all of you acted like you knew him, I had to too. 127 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,933 I can't believe you guys didn't say anything. 128 00:05:26,933 --> 00:05:28,567 This just proves the women of Fillmore 129 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,767 need to feel more empowered. 130 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,233 - Wow, Chelsea, very progressive. 131 00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:33,733 - Thanks, I read an incredibly thought-provoking 132 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,300 Buzzfeed list on empowerment. 133 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,900 - [sighs] And you ruined it. 134 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,133 - [gasps] We should hold a workshop. 135 00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:42,067 - [gasps] - Together, as best friends. 136 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,233 - Totally. We can hold workshops all week 137 00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:47,400 empowering women to speak up and defend themselves. 138 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,900 We'll call it "Women Empowering Women." 139 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:50,900 - "By Women." 140 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:51,900 - "For Women." 141 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:52,833 - Can dudes come? 142 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,733 What? 143 00:05:55,733 --> 00:05:58,133 - Let's go see if we can reserve the cafeteria. 144 00:05:58,133 --> 00:05:59,500 Yes! [laughs] 145 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,100 - God, I love acting all political. 146 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,833 - Somewhere, Gloria Steinem just puked, 147 00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,467 and she doesn't know why. 148 00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:07,600 - Okay, that sex doll is creeping me out. 149 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,200 I gotta go. - Same. 150 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,833 - Good call. 151 00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:27,067 - No reason for us both to sit alone. 152 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,600 What? 153 00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:36,133 - Thank you all for coming today. 154 00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:39,767 It's an important time for us all to be united. 155 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,867 Ms. Bennigan and I feel very passionate about making 156 00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:45,300 the women of Fillmore feel more safe. 157 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,367 What are you doing? 158 00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,767 No one here is deaf. 159 00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:50,067 - Oh, hmm, sorry. 160 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:52,267 - So this week we'll be holding a series of workshops 161 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:55,267 that will tackle different ways we can all feel more empowered. 162 00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:57,267 Now, I know all you queens thought something was up 163 00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:59,467 with that creep, but no one said anything because we're all 164 00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:01,100 too concerned with being polite. 165 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,100 So it is time to make your voices heard. 166 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,200 - Which is the title of our first workshop. 167 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:10,933 - Okay. 168 00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,800 Make your voice heard... - Make your voices heard 169 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,800 by being a bitch. - By being a big b-word. 170 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,267 - Okay, um, I think there's a way to speak up 171 00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:19,700 and not be a bitch. 172 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,400 - You're wrong, and your opinion is stupid. 173 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,067 See? I just worked the muscle 174 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,633 that will allow me to confront a man 175 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:28,067 who is making me uncomfortable. 176 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:31,833 Why are we, as women, so scared to be mean, huh? 177 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,067 Because we might hurt someone's feelings? 178 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,267 Good. Hurt someone's feelings, 179 00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:40,200 insult someone, be a bitch. 180 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,600 Let's do an exercise. 181 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,867 I want to encourage someone to speak up and be a bitch. 182 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,333 Yes, Barb. 183 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,900 - I think it's weird Ms. Bennigan 184 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,500 wears Velcro sneakers. They're for people 185 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,700 with head injuries. 186 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,267 - That is very bitchy, Barb. Great job. 187 00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,833 Does anyone else have anything bitchy they want to say? 188 00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,533 Denise! 189 00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:03,767 - It makes me uncomfortable that I can see Ms. Bennigan's 190 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,767 maxi pad through her slacks. 191 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,467 - That is very brave. Thank you, Denise. 192 00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:11,833 - And every time she sits down, you can hear it deflate. 193 00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:13,133 - Ooh, v bitchy, v true. 194 00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,700 - Okay, Chelsea, can we have a little-- 195 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,667 - Not now, these bitches are finally speaking up. 196 00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:17,967 Can you just take one for the team? 197 00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:19,467 You're being so selfish right now. 198 00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,167 Anyone else? 199 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,900 - And I think it's gross that when you hug Ms. Bennigan, 200 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,667 you can feel her full-on bush. 201 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:27,467 - Yes, let your bitchy voices be heard! 202 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,200 [laughs] 203 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,567 [rock music] - * Tear it down! 204 00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:37,400 * Tear it down! 205 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:46,067 - Why would I go to their dumb workshop 206 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,233 when none of them will come to 207 00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:48,933 my cupcake decorating tournaments? 208 00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:52,967 Ugh, it's so hard. Nobody shares my interests. 209 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:59,167 [romantic guitar music] 210 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,733 * 211 00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,733 Nice to have someone to vent to. 212 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,600 * 213 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,400 Thanks for listening, Dollton. 214 00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:12,833 [rock music] 215 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,233 - Unattended backpack! 216 00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:19,133 Protector here, code backpack, code backpack. 217 00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,667 - You don't need to use the walkie 218 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,533 when I'm standing right here. 219 00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:24,067 - Roger that. 220 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,067 Ooh, oh... 221 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,400 - This your backpack? 222 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:32,167 - Hot zone clear. Hot zone clear. 223 00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:35,300 Great work, Guardian. Oh, shoot--Frank. 224 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:38,233 - Hello, Marvin. 225 00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:40,333 Can I interest you in a piece of candy? 226 00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:41,867 - Sure. 227 00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:44,067 - There's a fictional tranquilizer in that, Marvin. 228 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,700 You just got Tucci-ed. Get in the bunker! 229 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,167 - Deb, I think you're taking this too far. 230 00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,733 - Does anyone else wanna be dead like Marvin? 231 00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:55,267 - Deb! 232 00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:57,700 - The age of innocence is over one you learn about diddlers. 233 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,767 Besides, this is serious. 234 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,467 This app shows all of the registered 235 00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:03,767 sex offenders in our area. 236 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:06,100 - Oh, my God, they're everywhere. 237 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,667 - Got my eye on you, Phil. 238 00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:11,567 - Ooh, looking at Tinder? 239 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,867 [gasps] I know that guy. 240 00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:15,633 I totally sent him a nude. [laughs] 241 00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:18,033 Is this where the cool kids are? 242 00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:20,267 Who wants to party-party? 243 00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:24,433 - They found her body in a riverbank 56 days later. 244 00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:28,533 And that is why you always walk in a well-lit area 245 00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:31,700 and never take a wine cooler from a stranger. 246 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,100 - What is going on here? 247 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,233 Did you start the workshop early without me? 248 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:39,767 - Oh, I must've gotten the time wrong. 249 00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,967 Or maybe it's my brain injury. 250 00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:45,167 I wear Velcro shoes, remember? 251 00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:47,033 - Oh, my God, get over it. 252 00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,933 Okay, ladies. Today's workshop 253 00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:51,767 is entitled "How to Keep Yourself Safe in Public." 254 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:54,367 - Oh, actually, Chelsea, I had my own ideas 255 00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:55,567 for the workshop today. 256 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,200 - Oh, did you? - Yeah, I did. 257 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,300 We're gonna talk about one of the most important ways 258 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:04,067 to keep yourself safe in public: always dress appropriately. 259 00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:06,367 Take a crop top and stripper shoes, for example. 260 00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:09,200 - These aren't stripper shoes. They're Steve Madden. 261 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,267 - Dressing like an extra in "Showgirls" puts you 262 00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:13,400 at a higher risk of being victimized, 263 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,767 which is why I'm here to empower you all with this. 264 00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,700 - A dog sweater? - It's a dickie. 265 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:22,967 Keep yourself safe by covering up 266 00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:25,333 your winnebagoes. Remember, ladies: 267 00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:27,700 modest is hottest. 268 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,067 - Somewhere, Elizabeth Warren just 269 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,667 went blind, and she doesn't know why. 270 00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,367 - Can I talk to you in the hall for a minute? 271 00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:34,500 - I'm a little busy with my chaste lady pals. 272 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:35,467 - Now. - Okay. 273 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,067 - What is wrong with you? 274 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,067 Telling women to cover up is not empowering. 275 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,067 Do you not follow Emily Ratajkowski on Instagram? 276 00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,433 - Well, at least I'm not teaching them 277 00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,500 to be bitchy and mean to their best friend. 278 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,300 If you were wearing my friendship bracelet, 279 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,067 I'd tell you to cut it off and throw it away! 280 00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,667 - Too late, it's already in the garbage, 281 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,900 and I'd rather be a bitch than a victim-blamer. 282 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:56,067 - Who's victim blaming? I'm just letting everyone know 283 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,067 that if they dress like a cocktail waitress 284 00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:00,500 on a casino ferry, there will be consequences. 285 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,233 - I dress-- - Listen, bitches, 286 00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:04,200 we came here for a workshop, not to sit in there 287 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,633 with our thumbs up our asses. 288 00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:06,900 - 'Scuse me? 289 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,133 - Oh, I was just using my voice. 290 00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,767 - That was yesterday's workshop, Denise. 291 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,900 And today's workshop is over. 292 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,367 * 293 00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:18,833 - Is it just me, or is everyone acting crazy this week? 294 00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,533 - Yeah, everyone's acting totally nuts. 295 00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:27,967 Uh-oh, looks like somebody's got a boo-boo. 296 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:29,333 ["Close to You" begins] 297 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:33,767 My God, I never realized how big your arms are. 298 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:37,300 You really do have perfect hair. 299 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:44,067 - * Why do birds suddenly appear * 300 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:49,933 * Every time you are near? 301 00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:55,200 * Just like me, they long to be * 302 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,533 * Close to you 303 00:12:59,533 --> 00:13:04,867 * Why, ah, ah 304 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,900 * Close to you 305 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,600 - I think I really captured your inquisitive look. 306 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,467 - * Why, ah, ah... 307 00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,233 - I gotta borrow your big, weird doll. 308 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,700 - Oh. - Gotta go down on 309 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,100 the south side and drop off 310 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,467 some Darius Rucker tickets I sold on Craigslist. 311 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,300 It might or might not be a setup. 312 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,533 You're cool with this, right? 313 00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:28,100 - He likes to listen to "Show Boat." 314 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,233 - What? - Never mind. 315 00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:31,633 - Okay. 316 00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,533 - He's just a big, weird doll... 317 00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:36,100 like you said. 318 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:38,867 - Hey, buddy. - Hmm? 319 00:13:38,867 --> 00:13:40,100 - You know, I got a puppy in the back. 320 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,400 You want to pet it? 321 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,333 - Uh...okay. 322 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:47,167 [intense musical buildup] 323 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,367 - You're mine! 324 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:49,933 Welcome to the rest of your life! 325 00:13:49,933 --> 00:13:51,067 - Ahh! 326 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,400 - You are all victims. 327 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,467 You're lucky this time it was my husband. 328 00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:59,367 Okay, y'all failed the field test. 329 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:02,300 You got Tucci-ed. Out. 330 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,400 You're in the bunker, and you're in the bunker, 331 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,800 and you're in the bunker, and y-- 332 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,233 Really, Spinnoli? - He said it was a labradoodle. 333 00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,467 - Just get in the bunker. 334 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:15,567 - Hey, that guy tried to make me go in the van 335 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,400 this morning, and I said no. 336 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,633 - Oh, good instincts, Marvin. Did you call the police? 337 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,300 - No. - Then you're responsible 338 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,800 for the deaths of four of your peers. 339 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,333 - Mrs. Adler! Mrs. Adler! 340 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,367 I saw a pervert. - How can you be sure? 341 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,133 - Because he was creeping around the school 342 00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,867 and looking through all the classroom windows. 343 00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,600 - Good work, Tanya. Let's go call the police. 344 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,067 - Excuse me? I--I think I left 345 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,333 my inhaler in the van. 346 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,833 - * Tear it down! 347 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,667 - Why doesn't everyone who really cares 348 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,633 about empowering women come to the right side 349 00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:49,267 of the room. - And whoever wants to be 350 00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,267 empowered without looking like a cage dancer, 351 00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:52,533 come to my side. 352 00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:55,167 [all arguing] 353 00:14:57,867 --> 00:15:00,133 - What's going on here? Excuse me, ladies. 354 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,600 Ladies, ladies! 355 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,233 - Frank, I'm so glad you're here. 356 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,500 - Yes, and the left side 357 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,433 is ready for you to teach self-defense. 358 00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:12,667 - And so is the right side, which is in fact the right side. 359 00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:16,633 - Okay, I'm only gonna be teaching one workshop, 360 00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,933 so you two need to figure it out. 361 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:23,233 - Fine, I will be the bigger and better person... 362 00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:24,767 and say, "I'm sorry." 363 00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,433 - I'm sorry, too. 364 00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,700 - Things may have gotten a little out of hand, 365 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,833 but we're good now. 366 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:35,333 - Okay, so why don't we all come together in one group? 367 00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:36,800 - Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 368 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:42,367 Ladies, we do not do what a man tells us to do. 369 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:48,533 So why don't we all come together and form one group? 370 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,800 * 371 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,900 - Thanks, dude. 372 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,733 - Dollton! - Here he is. 373 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,433 - What have you done to him? 374 00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,867 - What do you mean? - He looks like he's 375 00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:00,767 in a Limp Bizkit video. 376 00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:02,933 - Cool, right? I changed his clothes 377 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:06,233 so he'd look like less of a narc for my Craigslist drop off. 378 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,333 - Did you smoke weed with Dollton? 379 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:10,333 - I don't remember. 380 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:13,333 [wistful piano music] 381 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:19,800 * 382 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,333 - I feel like I don't even know you anymore. 383 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,633 * 384 00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:28,700 - [sniffs] You've changed. 385 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:35,500 * 386 00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:39,133 [laughs] You know I can't 387 00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,833 stay mad at you. 388 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,833 Thank you for listening and not getting defensive. 389 00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:50,433 - So who wants to review some of the self-defense 390 00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:51,867 techniques we just learned? 391 00:16:56,967 --> 00:16:58,500 Great. Come up. 392 00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:03,600 - Ms. Bennigan, why don't we have you 393 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,967 be the attacker-- - Okay. 394 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,667 - Ms. Snap, why don't you demonstrate 395 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,367 the counter-move I just taught you. 396 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:11,933 - My pleasure. - Okay, so...there. 397 00:17:11,933 --> 00:17:13,067 - So like this? - Yep. 398 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,600 - Okay. - And proceed. 399 00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,633 Great. What did she just do wrong? 400 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,600 - [gasps] Seriously? Oh, my-- 401 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,600 - Oh, are you serious? - Ladies? Ladies, really-- 402 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,667 - Serious--[gasps] - Ms. Bennigan, release her. 403 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,867 - [choking] - Ms. Bennigan, release her. 404 00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:32,067 [voices fade and echo] 405 00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,100 Release! Release! 406 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,367 [soft music] 407 00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:39,400 - Chelsea? Chelsea? 408 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,200 Chelsea, it's not your time. 409 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,767 You're a mess. 410 00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:47,533 I want you to do the exact opposite of everything 411 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,867 that you're doing in your life. 412 00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:54,167 Now go back. 413 00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:56,200 Go back. 414 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,400 - [gasps] 415 00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,500 Oh, my God. 416 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,767 A man just tried to tell me what to do! 417 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,400 - * Toby and Frank, Frank and Toby * 418 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,200 * Saving the day, protecting each other * 419 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,267 * Men-- Ow! 420 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:14,600 Oww, what are-- what are you doing? 421 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,733 Ah, peas and rice, you have the wrong person! 422 00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:21,533 Ow, ow, please, be gentle, I have tennis elbow. 423 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,233 - What are you doing? - That's him! 424 00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,700 That's the guy that's been looking through windows. 425 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,067 - What? 426 00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:29,833 - Oh, there's been a huge misunderstanding. 427 00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,067 This is our principal, not a pervert. 428 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,233 - Sorry, ma'am. 429 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,900 Tennis Elbow still needs to come downtown. 430 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,600 - Hey, Steve. It's okay, he's with me. 431 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,433 - Are you sure? He's got highlights. 432 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:41,833 - What's wrong with my highlights? 433 00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:44,567 - I'm sure. He's fine. 434 00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:46,300 [handcuffs clicking] 435 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:49,533 - How do you not know who I am? I am the principal. 436 00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:52,067 - She's a new student. I'll talk to her. 437 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,500 Did good, Tanya. 438 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:59,167 - Oh, no. My walkie talkie. 439 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,700 How will we communicate when we're in different 440 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,667 quadrants, Guardi-- Frank--sorry. 441 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,800 - We'll figure it out. 442 00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:09,733 - We'll figure it out. 443 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,333 Together, as equals. 444 00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,100 [epic music] 445 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,133 [music stops] 446 00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:20,733 Ow. 447 00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:27,800 [engine turns] 448 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,633 - * Tear it down! 449 00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:34,533 * Tear it down! 450 00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:37,500 - I shouldn't have strangled you to death. 451 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,800 I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, too. 452 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,300 I just wanted the women of Fillmore 453 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,900 to feel safe enough to speak up. 454 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,933 - And to not be a target. - And to defend ourselves. 455 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,733 - But instead, all we did was insult, target, 456 00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:48,167 and attack each other. 457 00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,467 - You don't really think I look trashy, do you? 458 00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:52,100 - Oh, no. When you dress 459 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,067 like a hooker, it's intriguing, 460 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,767 like a movie hooker. - Oh. 461 00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:57,700 [laughs] 462 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,267 - You're, like, stuck on me. Okay. 463 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,767 - Oh, my stars, Caroline's getting attacked! 464 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:08,667 [yells] - This is where we get it right! 465 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,000 - Girl power! 466 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,000 [intense music] 467 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,667 * 468 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,333 Hah! [both grunting] 469 00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,833 - Hey, stop! 470 00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:20,167 Stop! He's one of the good guys! 471 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:21,800 - [grunting] 472 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,533 - I was just trying to get him into the car. 473 00:20:23,533 --> 00:20:26,333 [overlapping screaming] - Freak! 474 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,067 - Oh, my God. Dollton. 475 00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:30,567 - It'll be okay. [women continue screaming] 476 00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:33,167 - Is that my mug? 34495

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