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1
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:15,020
♪ At the end of the rainbow,
there's happiness, ♪
2
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:21,460
♪ And to find it,
how often I've tried~ ♪
3
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:27,840
♪ But my life is a race,
just a wild goose chase, ♪
4
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:35,720
♪ And my dreams
have all been denied... ♪
5
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:41,200
♪ Why have I always been a failure? ♪
6
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:46,560
♪ What can the reason be? ♪
7
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:52,020
♪ I wonder if the world's to blame, ♪
8
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:58,720
♪ I wonder if it could be me?... ♪
9
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:06,580
♪ I'm always chasing rainbows, ♪
10
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:12,860
♪ Watching clouds, drifting by ♪
11
00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:18,700
♪ My schemes are just like
all my dreams, ♪
12
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,700
♪ Ending in the sun... ♪
13
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,520
(firework explodes)
14
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,620
♪ Some fellows look and find the sunshine, ♪
15
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:36,380
♪ I always look and find the rain ♪
16
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:41,740
♪ Some fellows make
a winning sometimes, ♪
17
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:48,260
♪ I never even make
a gain, believe me... ♪
18
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:58,200
♪ I'm always chasing rainbows, ♪
19
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:04,380
♪ Waiting to find
a little bluebird ♪
20
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:09,480
♪ In vain~ ♪
21
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,240
(screaming)
22
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,900
- (Groans)... Huh?
23
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:28,180
Oh– I'm alive! I'm alive!
24
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:29,680
(tires screeching) *Not anymore!
25
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,680
Travis: Heh. Thanks fer
the fun time, hot stuff.
26
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,780
Angel Dust: Yeah, yeah, listen.
Keep this discreet, you hear me?
27
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:40,400
I can't let it get out
I'm offering my services to randos on the street.
28
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,420
It was a quick
cash grab, ya got it?
29
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,000
- Pfft...
whatever you say, slut!
30
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,920
(chuckles)
31
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,320
- (sarcastically) Ouch, ooh, such an insult!
32
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,440
Let me know when you come up with
something creative to call me,
33
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,600
ya sack of poorly packaged horse shit. (Angel Dust... you're my fav...)
34
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,500
Tell the misses I said hi... (kiss) schnookums~
35
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,440
- Sack of p...*Dog wines*
36
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:57,980
*grumbling* *Dog yipping as he drives off*
37
00:02:58,660 --> 00:02:59,600
(car crashing)
38
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,100
- YOINK! >:)
- Hey! >:(
39
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,860
- Up yours, drag show!
40
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,240
*Crow caw as he is crushed*
41
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,880
- (gasps) Oh my God!
42
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:16,640
My drugs! :'(
43
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:17,700
Damn it! >:(
44
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:21,800
(lazers firing)
45
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:26,220
Sir Pentious: (laughing maniacally)
46
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:30,900
Those other cowardly sssinners dare not hinder my territorial takeover!
47
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,700
A wise decision - the power
of my machines are unmatched!
48
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,573
No other demon can
compare to the likesss of I!
49
00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:42,440
- Gee, that was
pretty swell, boss.
50
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:43,800
- Yeah!
51
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,260
- You really showed
them what for!
52
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,880
I liked when you shot them
with your ray gun.
53
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,380
- I wish he'd shoot ME
with his ray gun... : (
54
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,671
- ...At this rate, I will seize control of the entire
55
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:59,320
west side of the Pentagram by day's end!
56
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,480
And nothing, not a single beast
in this inferno of suffering
57
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:08,100
will be able to take back this empire from my conssstrictive grasp!
58
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:08,600
Woo!
59
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,680
*cork pops off* (Cheers M8)
60
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,000
- Oh, BOY!
61
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,640
- Hell will be mine,
62
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,680
and everybody will know
the name of Sir Pe--
63
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,060
???: EDGELORD!
64
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:19,720
- Pardon?! Who said that?!
65
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,760
What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses??? >:(
66
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,380
Ssspeak up!
-That wasn't us, Mr. Boss-man.
67
00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,120
(sizzling)
68
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:29,840
(glass shattering)
69
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,440
(trumpet faintly heard)
70
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,140
(explosion)
71
00:04:37,140 --> 00:04:38,380
(hacking)
72
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,520
Cherri Bomb: You looking for
a fight, old man?
73
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,940
Why don't you get that
tinker toy BULLSHIT off my turf
74
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:49,600
Before I SMASH it?!
75
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:51,497
...More.
76
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,620
- Oh! You want to go, Missy?
Well, I'm happy to oblige!
77
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,900
(evil laughter)
78
00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,700
Katie Killjoy: Good afternoon,
I'm Katie Killjoy.
79
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,120
Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench.
80
00:05:04,122 --> 00:05:05,743
Chaos out of
Pentagram City today
81
00:05:05,743 --> 00:05:07,700
as a turf war is raging
on the west side;
82
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,660
Between notable
kingpin, Sir Pentious,
83
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,960
and self-proclaimed spunky
powerhouse, Cherri Bomb.
84
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,600
- That's right, Tom.
After the recent extermination,
85
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,840
many areas are now up for grabs!
86
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,460
Demons all over Hell
are already duking it out
87
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,240
to gain new territory.
88
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:24,880
- Those two seem
to really be going at it, huh?
89
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,480
- Looks like they're fighting
tooth-and-nail for that hot spot.
90
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,340
Tom: And I'd sure like to nail
her hot spot! (pompous laugh)
91
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,700
- You are
a limp-dick jackass, Tom!
92
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:35,100
Or should I say... no dick?
93
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:35,600
- Ugh... Not again!
94
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,020
- Coming up next,
we have an exclusive interview
(Tom whining)
95
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,760
with the daughter of
Hell's own head honcho,
(Tom still whining)
96
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,280
who's here to discuss
her brand-new "passion project".
(Still whining)
97
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,720
All that and more,
after the BREAK!
98
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,620
...Suck it up, you little bi--
99
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:49,700
*cuts off-air*
100
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:52,220
Vaggie: Okay. You
remember what to say?
101
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,400
*takes deep breath*
102
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,180
Charlie: Yes! Let's do this!
103
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,520
- Just look at me,
and I'll mouth it to you.
104
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,700
- Come on,
Vaggie, I know what to say!
105
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:03,940
I just feel like we need
to- I don't know,
106
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:06,780
make things sound more
exciting? (gasp) Oooooh!
107
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:10,040
What if I si-
- Sing a song about it?
108
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,680
- You knew I was gonna say that...
- Because I know you.
109
00:06:13,685 --> 00:06:16,543
But, please don't sing.
This is serious!
110
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,764
- Well, you know, I'm better
at expressing myself
111
00:06:19,764 --> 00:06:21,520
and my goals through song!
112
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,700
- But life isn't a musical, hon.
113
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:27,260
- Fine, but I have these
other ideas of what to say.
114
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:29,960
The highlighted
bits are the best parts~!
115
00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:32,120
- Uh... it's ALL highlighted.
116
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,160
Is this a drawing?
117
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,596
- Yes! That's the happy ending, see?
118
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,300
Everyone's smiling
and happy in Heaven.
119
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,720
- I don't think
it's that simple.
120
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:44,480
Just PLEASE follow the talking
points we went over.
121
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,440
And Do. Not. Sing.
122
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,940
- Okay, fine.
123
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,760
(fake British accent) I'll just have to resort
124
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,780
to my impeccable improv skills!
125
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,620
Hi! I'm Charlie.
126
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:00,820
- Katie Killjoy.
127
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,320
I'd say it's a pleasure to meet
you, but that would be a lie.
128
00:07:04,328 --> 00:07:07,442
You can put that away...
I don't touch the gays.
129
00:07:07,442 --> 00:07:09,825
I have standards!
- Yeah?
130
00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:12,300
How's, uh... how's that
working out for ya?
131
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,898
- Look, my time is money
so I'll keep this short.
132
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,200
You're not here because
we wanted you here.
133
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,240
You're here because Jeffrey couldn't
make it for his cannibal cooking segment.
134
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:26,020
You might be some royal big shot,
but that doesn't mean shit to me.
135
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:29,100
I'm too rich and too influential
to give a flying fuck
136
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:31,740
About what some tux-wearing
demon "princess"
137
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,140
wants to advertise!
138
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:34,900
- But I--
- So don't get cute with me honey,
139
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,940
or I will fucking BURY you.
140
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:38,020
- And we're live!
141
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:40,560
- Welcome back!
So Charlotte,
142
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,560
- It's Charlie.
143
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,815
- Whatever. Tell us about this
new passion project you've been
144
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,458
insistently pestering
our news station about!
145
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,040
Charlie: Well... (clears throat)
146
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:55,540
As most of you know,
I was born here in Hell and,
147
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,824
growing up, I always
tried to see the good
148
00:07:57,824 --> 00:07:59,420
in everything around me.
149
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,280
Hell is my home,
and you are my people.
150
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,840
We-- we just went through
another extermination.
151
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,260
We lost so many souls,
and it breaks my heart
152
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:13,380
to see my people being
slaughtered every year,
153
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:15,740
and no one is even given a chance!
154
00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:17,720
I can't stand idly by
155
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,280
while the place I live is
subjected to such violence!
156
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,160
So, I've been thinking...
157
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:28,880
...isn't there a more humane way
to hinder overpopulation here in Hell?
158
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:34,100
Perhaps we can create an
alternative way to change souls through…
159
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,800
redemption?
160
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,320
Well, I think yes!
161
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,760
So that's what this project
aims to achieve.
162
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:44,440
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm
opening the first of its kind,
163
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,880
a hotel that
rehabilitates sinners!
164
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,860
...You know,
165
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:57,920
'cause hotels are for people
passing through…temporarily...
166
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,791
- Whehehaha! Is this girl fer real?
167
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,903
She thinks-- you hear
what she thinks?
168
00:09:04,903 --> 00:09:07,860
She th-- ha ha! Ohh, she's nuts.
169
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,780
- I figure it
would serve a purpose,
170
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,980
a place to work
towards redemption...
171
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,440
Yay...?
172
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,340
*eerie radio buzz*
173
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,200
Cameraman: (tsk) Stupid bitch.
174
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,000
- Look, every single one of you
175
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,600
has something good
deep down inside.
176
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,020
I- I know you do!
177
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,060
Maybe I'm not
getting through to you...
178
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,620
- Oh, no...
179
00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:34,560
(snap)
180
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,320
*radio click*
181
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,740
♪ I have a dream,
I'm here to tell, ♪
182
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:45,180
♪ About a wonderful,
fantastic new hotel ♪
183
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:48,820
♪ Yes, it's one of a kind,
right here in Hell, ♪
184
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:51,680
♪ Catering to
a specific clientele~ ♪
185
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,960
- (harmonizing)
186
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,740
♪ Inside of every demon
is a rainbow, ♪
187
00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:59,220
♪ Inside every sinner
is a shiny smile, ♪
188
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:02,100
♪ Inside of every creepy,
hatchet-wielding maniac ♪
189
00:10:02,108 --> 00:10:04,984
♪ is a jolly, happy,
cupcake-loving child~ ♪
190
00:10:04,984 --> 00:10:06,356
♪ We can turn around, ♪
191
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,728
♪ They'll be Heaven-bound, ♪
192
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:09,518
♪ With just a little time down ♪
193
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,200
♪ At the Happy Hotel~ ♪
194
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,460
♪ So all you junkies,
freaks, and weirdos, ♪
195
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:15,760
♪ Creepers, fuck-ups,
crooks, and zeros, ♪
196
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,140
♪ And the fallen superheroes, ♪
197
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,387
♪ Help is here! ♪
198
00:10:18,387 --> 00:10:19,718
♪ All of you cretins,
sluts, and losers, ♪
199
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,200
♪ Sexual deviants and boozers, ♪
200
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,380
♪ And prescription drug abusers ♪
201
00:10:22,387 --> 00:10:23,718
♪ Need not fear! ♪
202
00:10:23,718 --> 00:10:25,100
♪ Forever again, ♪
203
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,295
♪ We'll cure your sin, ♪
204
00:10:26,295 --> 00:10:27,653
♪ We'll make you well, ♪
205
00:10:27,653 --> 00:10:29,078
♪ You'll feel so swell, ♪
206
00:10:29,078 --> 00:10:30,725
♪ Right here in HELL ♪
207
00:10:30,725 --> 00:10:34,408
♪ At the Happy Hotel~ ♪
208
00:10:34,408 --> 00:10:38,040
♪ There'll be no more fire,
and no more screams, ♪
209
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,491
♪ Just puppy dog kisses
and cotton candy dreams, ♪
210
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:43,094
♪ And puffy-wuffy clouds~ ♪
211
00:10:43,094 --> 00:10:44,915
♪ You're gonna be like, "Wow!" ♪
212
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:50,980
♪ Once you check in with meee-e-e~ ♪
213
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,480
♪ So all your cartoon
porn addictions, ♪
214
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,820
♪ Vegan rants,
psychic predictions, ♪
215
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,100
♪ Ancient Roman crucifixions ♪
216
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,280
♪ End right here! ♪
217
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,640
♪ All you monsters,
thieves, and crazies, ♪
218
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,960
♪ Cannibals and crying babies, ♪
219
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,300
♪ Frothing mouthers
full of rabies ♪
220
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,480
♪ Fill with cheer! ♪
221
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,689
♪ You'll be complete, ♪
222
00:11:02,689 --> 00:11:03,820
♪ It'll be so neat, ♪
223
00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:04,980
♪ Our service can't be beat, ♪
224
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,600
♪ You'll be on Easy Street-- Yes! ♪
225
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,020
♪ Life will be sweet ♪
226
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:11,660
♪ At the Happy Hotel~! ♪
227
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,300
(crescendo)
228
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,220
Yeah!
229
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,300
(heavy breathing)
230
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:18,360
(utter silence)
231
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,990
- Wow...
232
00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:21,400
...that was shit!
233
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:26,900
(laughter)
234
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,460
- Booo.
235
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,820
Katie: What in the Nine Circles
236
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,373
makes you think
a single denizen of Hell
237
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:37,386
would give TWO SHITS about
becoming a better person?!
238
00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:41,040
You have no proof that this
little experiment even works!
239
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,820
You want people to be
good, just... BECAUSE?
240
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:47,453
- Well, we have a patron already,
241
00:11:47,453 --> 00:11:50,957
who believes in our cause, and
he's shown incredible progress!
242
00:11:50,957 --> 00:11:53,925
- Oh? And who might THAT be?
243
00:11:53,925 --> 00:11:58,380
- Oh, just someone
named... Angel Dust!
244
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,420
- The porn star?
- You fucking would, Tom.
245
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,520
In any case, that's not
even an accomplishment.
246
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,760
I'm sure you can get
that hooker to do anything
247
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,640
with enough
booger-sugar and lube!
248
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:15,460
- Oh, I beg to differ. He's been behaved, clean,
and out of trouble for two weeks now.
249
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,820
- Breaking news!
250
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:19,591
- We are receiving word
251
00:12:19,591 --> 00:12:22,491
that a new player has
entered the ongoing turf war!
252
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,340
Let's go to the live feed.
253
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,300
- (laughter)
254
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,160
- Oh shit.
255
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,500
- "Oh shit" indeed!
256
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,500
It looks like the one
who just joined the battle
257
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,893
is none other than (gasp) porn actor Angel Dust! *Angel... why?!*
258
00:12:36,893 --> 00:12:39,655
What a juicy coincidence!
259
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:42,100
You must feel really
stupid right now.
260
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,120
- (both) Ha-ha-ha-ha!
261
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,800
- ♪ Ratings~! ♪
262
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,880
- (gasp) DON'T LOOK AT THIS!
263
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:51,726
- Well, it sure looks like
your little project is dead on arrival.
264
00:12:51,726 --> 00:12:54,920
Tell us, how does it feel
to be such a total failure?
265
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,860
(laughter)
266
00:12:57,060 --> 00:13:00,740
- Yeah, well... how does it feel
that I got your pen, huh?!
267
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:01,620
B I T C H
268
00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:02,680
(menacing chord)
269
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,980
Heh-heh... oops.
270
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,200
(monstrous roar)
271
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,300
Cherri Bomb: Hey! Thanks for the backup, Angie.
272
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,060
Angel Dust: Hahaha, you kiddin'?
273
00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:14,760
This is the best action
I've seen in ages.
274
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,180
- Where you been anyway?
275
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:18,020
I thought you up
and died or some shit.
276
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:22,576
- Oh, I wish. I've been staying
at this crappy hotel on the other side of town.
277
00:13:22,580 --> 00:13:26,040
Some broads are letting me
stay rent-free if I play nice.
278
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,540
(groans) Y'know, no fights,
279
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:33,340
no pranks, no "problematic
language"-- Her words, not mine.
280
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,640
These crazy bitches are no fun!
I've been clean fer two weeks!
281
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,859
- Holy shit.
- ...Well, sorta clean.
282
00:13:40,859 --> 00:13:43,378
Just clean as you can get
while doing a shitload
283
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,440
of Bolivian marching powder!
284
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,380
Ooh! Harder, daddy~
285
00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:50,460
(gasp) Son?!
286
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,720
(train horn)
287
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:55,840
(hisses furiously)
288
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,080
You whores have no class!
289
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:02,440
In war, the side remembered
is the side with the most ssstyle!
290
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,780
- Or the side that ain't dead!
- Speakin' of style,
291
00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:07,980
is your hat, like,
alive or somethin'?
292
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:12,196
- Oh! Well, that's none of your
goddamn businesss! Now is it?
293
00:14:12,196 --> 00:14:15,117
- Would that make your hat
the top and you the bottom?
294
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,220
- Ooooooh!
295
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,600
- I'm going to blow you to bitsss!!
296
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,920
- Hmm. Kinky.
- Oh, not like that! Pervert!
297
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,040
Not so cocky now, are we?
298
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,900
- Y'know, you really gotta watch
what comes outta your mouth.
299
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:35,800
I've been making these sex jokes
the whole-- TIME!
300
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,240
And it's obvious
you ain't catchin' on.
301
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,680
I mean, it's just SAD!
302
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,826
- So, think you're gonna get
in a lot of trouble for this?
303
00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:45,760
- Eh, what's one little
brawl gonna cause?
304
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,840
*alarm blaring in background*
305
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,320
- WHY WONT ANYONE HELP ME?!
306
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,476
- Glad you haven't changed.
307
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,080
You know you're my
favorite guy to party with.
308
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:56,880
- You know it, sugar tits.
309
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:00,460
- You ready to finish this?
- Born ready, baby.
310
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:06,600
(collective screaming)
311
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,280
*crow cawing*
312
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,520
*car engine revving*
313
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:20,880
(car window winding up and down)
314
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,280
What?
315
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,060
- "What"? "What"?!
316
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,620
What were you doing?!
317
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:30,560
- (sigh) I owed my
girl buddy a solid!
318
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,600
Isn't that a
"redeeming quality"?
319
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,920
Helping friends with stuff?
320
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,880
- Not with turf wars that
result in territorial genocide!
321
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,400
- Eh... you win some, you lose
a few hundred.
322
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,500
(laughter)
323
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,820
It wasn't that bad anyway.
324
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:45,120
*knife thrown*
325
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:46,800
*growling*
326
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,040
- Oh, come on! I had to!
327
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,980
My credibility was on the line.
328
00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:53,060
I mean, what kind of
reputation would I have
329
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:55,260
if people found out
I was trying to go clean?
330
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,480
It just throws out
my entire persona.
331
00:15:57,740 --> 00:16:00,280
- Your credibility??
What about the hotel's?
332
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,320
Your little stunt made us
look like a fucking joke!
333
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,480
- No, no, no, babe.
Jokes are funny.
334
00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:09,620
I made you look, uh...
sad.
335
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,920
And pathetic!
336
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,420
Like an orphan,
337
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,780
with no arms...
338
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:15,000
Or- or legs...
339
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,620
Uh… oh! With Progeria!
340
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,800
Great! Now I'm bummed
thinking about it!
341
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,120
This thing have any liquor?
342
00:16:22,123 --> 00:16:25,120
- Can you please just TRY
to take this seriously?
343
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:28,840
- Fine, I'll try. Just don't get
your taco in a twist, baby.
344
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,440
- Was that you trying
to be sexist, or racist?
345
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,080
- Whatever pisses you off more.
346
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,200
Is there seriously
no liquor in here?
347
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,600
- I'm gonna kill him.
- Too late, toots.
348
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,440
Wait, would that make me double-dead?
349
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,720
Where exactly do I go,
to Double Hell?!
350
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,460
Hahahahahaha!
351
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,060
Sorry. You're stuck with me,
bitch. Get used to it.
352
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:51,300
- Arrgh! Comé mierda, malparido hijo de-
(Eat shit, bastard son of a-)
353
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,940
- Listen, who cares
if some jackoffs got hurt?
354
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,440
Most of them are ugly freaks.
Look around,
355
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,200
you got a buncha fukken
harlequin babies down here.
356
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,080
- You're one to talk.
- Hey! This body is flawless!
357
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,620
Everyone wants some of me,
358
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,940
and I got the creepy
fan letters to prove it.
359
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,080
Arrgh!
360
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,860
That was really uncool,
y'know, Angel.
361
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,016
- "Uncool"?!
After THAT train wreck,
362
00:17:13,016 --> 00:17:16,395
there is no way ANYONE is gonna
want to stay at the hotel!
363
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,660
All thanks to you,
and your selfish bullshit!
364
00:17:19,882 --> 00:17:22,440
- Does that mean I don't
have a free room anymore?
365
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,300
(tsk) Ah well, shucks. (snap)
366
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,456
- Hey, come on. We don't
know if things are over yet.
367
00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:33,600
Try to relax, Vaggie.
I- It'll be okay!
368
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,700
(car engine running)
369
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:46,480
(Vaggie groans)
370
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,780
- It's probably
a good idea to get
371
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:00,560
some actual food in
this place. Y'know,
372
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,100
to feed all the wayward souls
you got in here.
373
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,280
(laughing)
374
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,580
(laughing dying down)
375
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,220
eh-
376
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,320
- Hey Mom!
377
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:30,140
Um.... I know I keep
calling, and, uh, you must be busy...
378
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,900
really… busy.
379
00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:36,860
But, um,
the interview didn't go well, and…
380
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:40,560
I don't know if I'm
going to make a difference.
381
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,920
I don't know what I'm doing.
382
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,820
I could really use
some advice, Mom.
383
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:50,260
I... I think Dad
was right about me.
384
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:56,180
(cry-chuckle) Uff. Eh, anyway, I'll stop
talking before this gets long.
385
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,820
Love you. Bye.
386
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:06,740
(knock)
387
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:10,600
(rhythmic knocking)
388
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,140
Hell--
389
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:21,980
--lo!
390
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,580
Charlie: Hey Vaggie?
- What?
391
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,920
- The Radio Demon
is at the door...!
392
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,920
- What?!
- Uh, who?
393
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,560
- What should I do?
- Uh- well, don't let him in!
394
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,860
- May I speak now?
- You may...
395
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,880
- Alastor! Pleasure to be
meeting you, sweetheart.
396
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,000
Quite a pleasure!
Excuse my sudden visit,
397
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,280
but I saw your fiasco
on the picture show,
398
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,200
and I just couldn't resist. What a performance!
(audience cheering)
399
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,940
Why, I haven't been that entertained
since the stock market crash of 1929!
400
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,380
(haughty laughter)
401
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:53,840
...So many orphans.
402
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,240
Vaggie: Stop! Right! There!
Cabrón, hijo de perra! (Bastard, son of a bitch!)
403
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:01,480
I know your game, and I'm not
gonna let you hurt anyone here,
404
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,300
you pompous, cheesy,
talk-show shitlord!
405
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,280
- Dear, if I wanted
to hurt anyone here...
406
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:08,540
...I WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY.
407
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,040
...I W͟OULD HAVȨ ҉D̢O͜N̶E SO ALR͝E҉ADY.
408
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:09,540
.͝.̀.I͘ ̴WO͟UL̢D ̴H͢A͜V͘E͝ ̕DON͠E ͝S͟O ALREA͞DY̴.
409
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:10,040
.͏..I̸ ͜W͡O͢͠U̴͜͝LD̷ ̡͢H̵̨A͠͡VE͘҉ ̶Ḑ͝O͢N͢E̡ S͟O̶ ̨A̢L̶̴RE̸A͠D̷̛Y̷.̸҉
410
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:10,540
.͞͝..I̸ ̴͘W̡O͡U̡L̨D̶ ̡͠H̸́A͟V̶E ̨͘D̴ON̡͜E̶̡ ̡́SO̷͠ ̨̕A͢L̷R̴Ȩ͢͠Ą͟͟D̶Y͠.̡͜
411
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:11,040
.҉͢.̷͡.҉̢͘I̶̢ ͏̴W̛͟͠Ò̴U͘L͟D̡ ̸̨Ḩ͠A̸V̴E͏ ̸̵DƠ̶N̵̷̡E̛ ̸̡͞S̴͝O̷҉ A̧L͜͢R͠E̷͜À̛D͘Y.̢̧͠
412
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:11,540
.̡͢͞.̴̶̢̀.́͝͝͠I͘̕͝ ҉͟W̷͘O͘U̡҉̵̛̀L̢̛҉͏̶D̸̨ ̸̨Ḩ̶A̶̢͢͡V̵́̕͞Ę͟͞͠ ̷̴̕͝͞D͠O̵͢͜͜Ń̴͢͢E̢͡ ͏̸̀̕͘ŞO̵͟ ̧A̷͝Ĺ̴̨̢ŔE͡͏̴A̷̡͜D҉̷͠Ỳ̸̛͡.̶̛̕͠͝
413
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:12,040
.҉̨.̵̷̢͜͢.́͝͝I̧̛͘ ̢͡͏͡Ẁ͏̛̕͞O҉̷͏́U̵̧͘͟͝L̷̴̕D͠͡ ҉̵̧H̷͢͡A̵̛͏̸V̧̛͘E͟͏̶ ̶͜͡҉͘D̸̡̨O̡̧͢N̨͘͢͡E҉̀ ̴́͞͝S̵͏O̡͝ ̵̶̵͘͡A̛͠͝Ĺ͞͞R͘҉̶̛͝E̶͜͞͠Ą̵́͜D̢́͢Ý̵̴͏.̴̵̷͘
414
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:12,540
.̨͏́͟.̵.͏͢҉̛҉I͟ ̴̢̡͘͠Ẃ͜͞͠O̵͡U҉̷̸L̀҉͟͠D̨́͘͝͠ ҉̶́͟͠H̷̴̛Á͡҉̡V̸̴̸̕͘Ȩ͟͝ ̵̨̕D́͝O̶̷̧͜͟N̷̵̨͡E͡҉ ́͏̴̴S̶̛̕O̸̶̕ ̴͝A͝͠L̵̶̛͡͏R̸̷͡E͘͘A̡̛͘͟D̀́͠Ý҉͏͠.̡͜
415
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,200
- ...No, I'm here because
I want to help!
416
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,540
- Say what now?
- Help! (laughing)
417
00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:23,040
Hello? is this thing on?
Testing, testing.
418
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,040
Microphone: Well
I heard you loud and clear!
419
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,960
- Um, you want to help with...?
420
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,200
- This ridiculous thing
you're trying to do; this hotel!
421
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,020
I want to help you run it.
422
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,240
- But... why?
423
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,960
- Hahaha! Why does
anyone do anything?
424
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,520
Sheer, Absolute BOREDOM
425
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,260
I've lacked inspiration for decades.
426
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:47,620
My work became mundane,
lacking focus...
427
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,900
...AIMLESS! (crash)
428
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:53,200
I've come to crave a NEW form of entertainment!
Hahaha!
429
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,160
- Does getting into
a fist fight with a reporter
430
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,880
count as entertainment?
431
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,600
- Ha-ha-ha! It's the
purest kind, my dear.
432
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,760
REALITY! TRUE PASSION!
433
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,367
After all, the world is a stage,
434
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:10,834
and the stage is a world
of entertainment!
435
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,430
- ...So, does this mean
that you think it's POSSIBLE
436
00:21:14,430 --> 00:21:16,160
to rehabilitate a demon?
437
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,100
- (laughter) Of course not!
That's wacky nonsense.
438
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,160
Redemption... oh,
the non-existent humanity!
439
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,840
Nononono... I don't
think there's anything left
440
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,640
that could save such
loathsome sinners.
441
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,600
The chance given was
the life they lived before,
442
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,720
the punishment is THIS!
443
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,340
There is no undoing
what is done.
444
00:21:33,340 --> 00:21:37,120
- So then why do you want to help me
if you don't believe in my cause?
445
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:41,040
- Consider it an investment
in ongoing entertainment for myself!
446
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,320
I want to watch the scum
of the world struggle
447
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,440
to climb up the
hill of betterment,
448
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,580
only to repeatedly trip
and tumble down
449
00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:52,520
into the fiery pit of failure...
450
00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,040
- Rrrrrright...
451
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,600
- Yes, indeedy! I see big
things coming your way,
452
00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:01,560
and who better
to help you than I?
453
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,380
- I-so uh what's the deal
with Smiles over there?
454
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,620
- Wait, you've never
heard of him before?
455
00:22:06,622 --> 00:22:08,140
You've been here longer than me.
456
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:09,900
The Radio Demon?
457
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,540
One of the most powerful
beings Hell has ever seen?
458
00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:14,840
- Eh, not big on politics.
459
00:22:15,140 --> 00:22:15,920
- Ugh.
460
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:19,380
Decades ago, Alastor manifested
in Hell.
461
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:25,100
Seemingly overnight, he began to topple overlords who
had been dominant for centuries.
462
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:29,480
That kind of raw power had never been
harnessed by a mortal soul before!
463
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,960
Then, he broadcast his carnage
all throughout Hell,
464
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,140
just so everyone could
witness his ability!
465
00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:39,720
Sinners started calling
him "The Radio Demon"...
466
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,380
...as lazy as that is.
467
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:45,280
Many have speculated what
unimaginable force enabled him
468
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,300
to rival our world's most
ancient and destructive evils.
469
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:51,220
But one thing's for sure.
470
00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:53,760
He's an unpredictable
source of danger,
471
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:58,160
a wicked spirit of mystery,
and a violent monster of chaos,
472
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,160
the likes of which we can't
risk getting involved with,
473
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,840
unless we want to end up ERASED.
474
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,160
- Ya done?
475
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,920
He looks
like a strawberry pimp!
476
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:10,040
- Well, I don't trust him.
477
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,140
- To be fair, do you trust
any man? Any men?
478
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:15,400
Men?
479
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,140
- Charlie, listen to me...
You can't believe this creep.
480
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:24,340
He isn't just a happy face.
He's a deal maker. Pure evil!
481
00:23:24,340 --> 00:23:27,780
He can't be redeemed! And is
most likely looking for a way
482
00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:29,840
to destroy everything
we're trying to do.
483
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,260
- I... eh- we don't know that.
Look, I know he's bad
484
00:23:34,260 --> 00:23:37,300
and I know he probably
doesn't wanna change.
485
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,760
But the whole point of this
is to give people a chance,
486
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,060
to have faith things will be better.
487
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,360
How can I turn
someone away? I can't.
488
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,980
It goes against
everything I'm trying to do.
489
00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:50,820
Everything I believe in.
490
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:55,120
Just, trust me.
I can take care of myself.
491
00:23:55,123 --> 00:23:59,227
- Charlie, whatever you do,
do not make a deal with him. (radio humming)
492
00:23:59,227 --> 00:24:02,782
- Don't worry. I picked up
one thing from my dad:
493
00:24:02,782 --> 00:24:05,960
"You don't
take shit from other demons!"
494
00:24:06,540 --> 00:24:10,080
Okay... so, Al,
you're sketchy as fuck,
495
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,080
and you clearly see what
I'm trying to do here as a joke.
496
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,400
But I don't.
497
00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:16,640
I think everyone
deserves a chance
498
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,400
to prove they can be better, so
I'm taking your offer to help.
499
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,280
On the condition
that there be no...
500
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,460
tricks or voodoo
strings attached.
501
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,180
- So it's a deal then?
502
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:32,060
(wind howling)
503
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:36,740
- Nope! No shaking.
No deals. I... hmm...
504
00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:40,820
...As Princess of Hell,
and heir to the throne,
505
00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:45,120
I-uh, hereby order that
you help with this hotel...
506
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,240
...for as long as you desire.
507
00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:52,900
Sound fair?
- Hmm...
508
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,240
...fair enough.
- Cool beans...
509
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,240
(Alastor humming
"You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile")
510
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,280
- Smile, my dear!
511
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,440
You know you're never
fully dressed without one!
512
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,100
(humming continues)
513
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,120
So where is your hotel staff?
514
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,200
- Uh... well...
515
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,900
Ho-ho-ho, you're going
to need more than that.
516
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,820
And what can you do,
my effeminate fellow?
517
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:19,900
- I can suck ya dick.
518
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,040
- HA!
519
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:21,680
NO.
520
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:22,560
- Heh, your loss.
521
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,040
- Well this just won't do!
522
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,160
I suppose I can cash in a few
favors to liven things up.
523
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,600
(whimsical jingle)
524
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:43,460
(party horn squeaks)
525
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,180
This little darling is Niffty!
526
00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:49,180
- Hi, I'm Niffty.
It's nice to meet you.
527
00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:51,780
It's been a while since
I've made new friends...
528
00:25:51,780 --> 00:25:53,060
Why are you all women?
529
00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:54,040
Have any men here?!
530
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,060
I'm sorry if that's rude.
531
00:25:55,060 --> 00:25:56,800
Oh man! This place is filthy!
532
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,280
It really needs a lady's touch,
533
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,480
which is weird because
you're all ladies, no offense.
534
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,640
Ohmigosh, this is awful!
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
535
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,240
(gasp)
536
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,320
NOPE.
537
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,300
???: Ha! Read 'em and weep, boys.
538
00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:12,240
Ful--wooooooah
539
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,320
The hell?
540
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,860
What the fuck is this?
541
00:26:15,860 --> 00:26:16,980
(furiously) YOU.
542
00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:20,251
- Ah! Husker, my good friend,
glad you could make it!
543
00:26:20,260 --> 00:26:23,100
Don't you "Husker" me,
you son of a bitch.
544
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:25,560
I was about to win
the whole damn POT!
545
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,580
- Good to see you too.
546
00:26:26,580 --> 00:26:27,080
*Face palm*
547
00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:29,160
- What the hell do you want
with me this time?
548
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,180
- My friend, I am doing
some charity works,
549
00:26:31,180 --> 00:26:34,160
so I took it upon myself
to volunteer your services!
550
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,000
I hope that's okay.
551
00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:37,000
- Are you shittin' me?
552
00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:39,780
- Hmm. No, I don't think so.
(audience laughter)
553
00:26:39,780 --> 00:26:42,940
- You thought it would be
some kinda big fuckin' riot
554
00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:44,960
just to pull me outta nowhere?
555
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,900
You think I'm some
kind of fuckin' clown?!
556
00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:50,640
- Maybe!
(audience laughter)
- I ain't doin' no fuckin' charity job.
557
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,260
- Well, I figured you would
be the perfect face
558
00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:55,932
to man the front desk
of this fine establishment!
(audience applause)
559
00:26:55,932 --> 00:26:58,708
With your charming smile
and welcoming energy,
560
00:26:58,708 --> 00:27:01,020
this job was made for you!
561
00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:05,020
Don't worry, my friend. I can
make this more welcoming...
562
00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:07,180
...if you wish.
563
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,460
- What? You think you can buy me
with a wink and some cheap booze?!
564
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,360
Well, you can!
565
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,340
- Hey! hey! Hey-hey-hey!
No, no bar! No alcohol.
566
00:27:18,340 --> 00:27:21,240
This is supposed to be place
that DISCOURAGES sin!
567
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,120
Not some kind of now-brothel... man cave--
568
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:28,720
- Shut up! SHUT! UP!
We are keeping this.
569
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,360
- Hey.
- Go fuck yourself.
570
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,960
- Only if you watch me~
571
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,880
- Oh my gosh!
Welcome to the Happy Hotel!
572
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,000
You are going to LOVE IT HERE!
573
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,780
- I lost the ability
to love years ago.
574
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,300
- So, what do you think?
575
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:45,720
- This is amazing!
(party horn)
576
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,800
- It's... okay.
577
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,620
- Hahaha!
578
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,180
This is going to be
very entertaining!
579
00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:54,180
(radio starting up)
580
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,960
♪ You have a dream, ♪
581
00:27:57,969 --> 00:28:00,120
♪ You wish to tell, ♪
582
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:01,500
♪ And it's just laughable, ♪
583
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,280
♪ But hey, kid, what the hell! ♪
584
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,460
♪ 'Cause you're one of a kind, ♪
585
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:08,240
♪ A charming demon belle! ♪
586
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,120
♪ Now, let's give these
burning fools a place to dwell! ♪
587
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,100
Take it, boys!
588
00:28:15,380 --> 00:28:16,660
- Ha-ha!
- Boo!
589
00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:20,080
♪ Inside of every demon
is a lost cause, ♪
590
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,200
♪ But we'll dress 'em
up for now with just a smile! ♪
591
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,260
- ♪ WITH A SMILE! ♪
592
00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:26,280
- ♪ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool ♪
593
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,000
♪ with some
old redemption flair, ♪
594
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,940
♪ And show these simpletons
some proper class and style! ♪
595
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,800
- ♪ CLASS AND STYLE! ♪
- ♪ Oh! ♪
596
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,220
♪ Here below the ground, ♪
597
00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:36,200
♪ I'm sure your plan is sound! ♪
598
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:38,600
♪ They'll spend a little time~ ♪
599
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,260
♪ Down at this Hazbin Ho- ♪
600
00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:42,840
(crash)
601
00:28:45,660 --> 00:28:48,000
Sir Pentious: Ha! Well, well, well.
602
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,340
Look who it is
harboring the striped freak!
603
00:28:51,340 --> 00:28:53,720
We meet yet again, Alastor!
604
00:28:53,980 --> 00:28:55,080
- Do I know you?
605
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:58,080
- OH, yes you do!
606
00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:02,440
And this time, I have
the element of... surprise!
607
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,919
AH HA HA!
608
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,320
I'm so evil! NYE-HA-HA-HA!
609
00:29:08,660 --> 00:29:10,740
Whoa... whoa... whoa... oh...
610
00:29:10,740 --> 00:29:12,420
Whoooa!
611
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:15,560
(screaming, egg shells cracking)
612
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:16,640
(slam)
613
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:17,900
Argh! That hurt!
614
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:22,440
(tortured screaming)
615
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,920
(Egg Bois howling)
616
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,580
(explosion)
617
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,080
...Well, I'm starved!
Who wants some jambalaya?
618
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,760
My mother once showed me
a wonderful recipe for jambalaya!
619
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,820
In fact, it nearly
killed her! Ha-ha-ha!
620
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:50,920
You could say the kick
was right out of Hell!
621
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,880
Oh-hoho, I'm on a roll!
622
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:57,420
Yes sir, this is the start of some
real changes down here!
623
00:29:57,420 --> 00:29:59,220
The game is set.
624
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,140
Now...
625
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,700
...STAY TUNED.
626
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,660
(low chuckling)
627
00:30:06,660 --> 00:31:27,240
(Rocking Credits)
628
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:33,600
(ground burning)
629
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,200
(limbs rattling)
630
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,100
Now will you shoot me
with your ray gun?
48163
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