Original subtitles

GOLF CLUB HITS BALL Not jolly good, Binks. JOLLY good!

What are you using?

Iron shot? Gracious!

Not sure I could ever get used to that.

Well, one must move with the times, Williams. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm told.

Oh, bad luck.

I don't doubt it, madam. I don't doubt it.

Yes, very fine, I'm sure. Very fine!

The fact remains, however, that the museum is chiefly interested

in topographical subjects - English topographical subjects at that -

and so your late mother's collection of pots...

Delftware? I do beg your pardon.

Delftware does not come within my purview. You take my point?

Hm. No, no. I am sure they're very charming.

"Dear Sir, we beg to call your attention to number 978

"in our accompanying catalogue, which we shall be glad

"to send on approval. Yours faithfully, JW Britnell."

Well, I'm afraid I really must be going now, madam.

"978. Unknown, interesting mezzotint.

"View of a manor house. £2.2s."

Hm! Pricey!

Oh, no, that wasn't meant for you.

Terribly sorry, madam.

Well, don't hesitate to call us again if you come across anything

that you think might be appropriate for us.

Not at all. Any time!

Any time at all.

Yes. Goodbye.

Yes. Goodbye!

Her again?

Yes.

Means well, of course, but, er, quite mad.

And we've enough tat here as it is.

Speaking of which... Oh?

It's from this man called Britnell.

He sends me things from time to time

in which he thinks the museum might take an interest.

Brought my attention to a picture.

£2.2s?!

Oh, quite. My thoughts exactly.

Doesn't look anything out of the ordinary, does it?

Can't really say, what with my eyes.

I can't tell the difference between a tin of treacle

and a bottle of Jeyes Fluid these days.

Well, from what I can see, dear lady, it's nothing special.

Only, Britnell knows his stuff, I know.

I'll drop him a line and get it on approval.

I wonder if there's anything else worth noting.

Tea'll get cold, mark you.

Yes, thank you. I haven't forgotten.

Yes, but he played a Dunlop 5, which is obviously...

Well, suicidal on that course! With a Mashie all he had to fall

his goose was effectively cooked. THEY LAUGH

Yes, it was a bit of jam.

Tea? Well, ordinarily, I would, old man.

But, oh, there's a bit of a nip in the air. Say no more!

Is this for the museum?

It's a bit of a puzzle, actually.

Arrived this morning from old Britnell. Hm.

Soda? Just a thread.

I mean, you can see a dozen like it in any country pub.

It's a rather indifferent mezzotint.

And an indifferent mezzotint is the worst form of engraving known.

I'd bow to pay five shillings for it, but Britnell wants two guineas!

Why? Well, that's the puzzle.

What the devil does he see in it?

It's pretty wretched.

Aren't even any figures in it to give it life.

I think you're being a wee bit harsh, old man.

Moonlight seems rather good to me.

Moonlight? Don't recall there being any moon.

And I should have thought there were figures,

or at least a figure, just on the edge in front. Look. See?

Oh, yes.

Odd that I never noticed that!

I do. The reproduction in the catalogue was rather poor.

Yes, the moonlight is rather nicely caught, isn't it?

Any idea where this place is? No, a further part of the puzzle.

Is it something "-ley Hall"? Sussex? Essex?

Quite. Ring any bells?

No, I can't say it does. Aren't your people from Essex?

A long time back.

It all gets a bit murky.

I've been trying to do a bit of digging as it happens.

I bicycle down at the weekends.

But the trail has gone decidedly cold.

Ah, well! An evening with my gazetteer beckons.

Thanks for the game. I'll beat you yet!

Same time Thursday? Why not?

Cheerio! Mm-hm.

Oh! I was expecting... My husband. Yes, of course you were.

But Robert has a very full rota of parish visits, so he tells me.

I'm afraid you'll have to make do with me.

Oh, well, that's no hardship.

Let me help you. No, no. Not quite decrepit yet.

And do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Parish registers aplenty here. Back to the flood, practically!

Not that there ever was such a thing.

GASPS: I shall get in trouble again.

I fear your search will be a difficult one, Mr Williams?

Yes, alas. A very ordinary surname.

Was there a particular reason for your search,

a particular ancestor, or do you simply like to dig?

Well, there is a reason, actually... I dig myself,

though rather further back than even you are attempting.

Oh... Palaeontology, Mr Williams.

It is my passion.

Alas, this district is rather barren in that respect -

fragments of lobster, turtle shells, the odd shark's tooth.

But it is not encouraged.

No, indeed.

My husband has...views.

But in our old parish, oh!

They tumbled from the cliffs like shiny little Easter eggs -

the ammonite, the belemnite!

But...you haven't come all this way to hear a silly old sausage

like myself pontificating about her hobbies. Oh!

Well, we're all enthusiasts of one sort or another, are we not?

I am unmarried, without issue.

One must fill the idle hours somehow.

As I say, there is a point to my researches, erm,

something of a family mystery. Mm! I'm all ears!

Well, it's... It's a little delicate.

You see my great-grandfather, Oswald,

he had two surnames on his birth certificate -

Williams, of course, and another, Francis.

The suggestion being... Oh, I see!

Obviously, such a thing would have been hushed up.

Oh, quite so. Quite so!

So assuming my great-grandfather was...

HUSHED: ..illegitimate,

then the point of my search is to track down this Francis family.

Hm.

Francis...

..it has a little more colour than Williams, but...

..I will do my best to dig.

Some fossil hunting all of your own, eh, Mr Williams?

HE PLAYS PIANO

All I'm saying is it wouldn't be the end of the world. Women?

Precisely. Twist.

Twist.

Stick. I don't think that's very wise.

Oh?

This college has trundled on unperturbed,

through war and pestilence.

This cuts to its very heart.

What's that?

Giving degrees to women.

Binks here thinks the college will crumble.

I quite agree. Stands to reason!

Reason has precious little to do with it.

What is the point in tradition if one is constantly changing things?

"Constantly"?

What the devil has changed here in the past 500 years?

The quality of the plum pudding has sharply declined.

LAUGHTER

Happily, the booze is still top notch.

May I, Williams? Of course.

Oh, by the way, Garwood, you've got an eye for a picture.

You might want to take a look at that. What is it?

Oh, take a look.

Had a long-haired youth trying to flog me a bad oil the other day.

Claimed it was a Titian.

I said that unless the great man had had a palsy in middle age

and had lost the ability to paint a woman's buttock,

then I very much doubted that...

Oh!

Where did you get this, Williams? From a dealer I know.

It's a curious little thing, isn't it?

It's pretty ghastly, but...I was curious.

Ghastly? It's rather fine, Williams.

Yes, I thought so too.

Yes! Has quite the feel of the Romantic period,

and the light is admirably managed.

And the figure, it's rather grotesque.

It's very impressive.

Ha! Oh, I say!

Five card trick. Beat that!

Yes.

It's rather too grotesque.

No, no, no, no, no!

Be sensible, Edward. Bed! Up the wooden hill.

Impossible.

Impossible!

LOUD THUD

You are off-form today!

Sorry. Sorry, Binks. Didn't...

Didn't sleep well last night.

You get anywhere with that picture of yours?

What? Sussex or Essex, wasn't it?

Yes, something like that.

My game, I think.

I want you to tell me exactly what you see in the picture.

Describe it, if you don't mind. rather minutely.

I'll tell you why afterwards.

Well, I have here a view of a country house -

English, I presume - by moonlight.

Moonlight? You're sure of that.

Certainly. The moon appears to be on the wane,

if you wish for details. I do.

And there are clouds in the sky.

All right.

Go on.

Well...

There's not much more left to say.

The house has one, two, three rows of windows, five in each row,

except at the bottom, where there's a porch instead of...

What about the figures? Figures?

Yes.

There aren't any. What?

There are no figures.

Oh, there must be, on the lawn in front of the house.

Not a thing.

You'll swear to it? Sir, are you quite...? Swear to it!

Yes, of course I will, if it's what you want.

What else? What?

Anything else about the picture?

No, it's just an ordinary view of a front...

Oh, just a moment.

DRAMATIC MUSIC RISES

One of the windows on the ground floor,

left of the door, it's...

It's open. Open?

DRAMATIC MUSIC CRESCENDOS

He must have got in.

What? Who?

When I first saw the mezzotint,

it was just a view of the house -

no moonlight and no figures.

Binks, my golfing partner...

Not a man prone to imaginings, wouldn't you say? I would.

Well, he saw it first.

The alteration.

Moonlight and a figure where there'd been no figure.

I merely thought that I hadn't noticed these things

on the first viewing, but then last night...

Well, you were there.

What was it Garwood said?

That the figure... was rather grotesque.

Yes.

And then just before I retired for the night...

..I saw it myself.

A shape crawling over the lawn.

Now...

..no figure and an open window.

By all that's reasonable, Nisbet, this is a rank impossibility.

And yet it is so.

I've jotted it all down.

Will you write out a description of the picture

as you've just seen it and sign it?

If it'll make you happy, but look here... Please, for me.

Very well.

But I was going to say, I can photograph it for you if you'd like.

Oh. Would that be an idea?

Certainly it would.

Then we'd have a proper record of the alterations.

Right, then. But look here, sir. Are you sure you...?

I know what it looks like, Nisbet, but it's the truth.

I swear it.

The picture...

..changes.

What is this, a trick?

There's no trick. Is it...?

What do they call it, sympathetic ink?

It's all true, Garwood. Ah, you're pulling my leg!

Nisbet, is he pulling my leg? I swear.

It's true.

Gracious!

What can it all mean?

Well, it looks very much to me as if we were assisting

at the working out of some sort of tragedy...

..a record of some long-forgotten mischief.

Where is it now?

In my office at the museum.

Don't you think you should be watching it?

No, I...

I don't think it works like that.

I rather imagine we're meant to see the whole thing.

You see, between the time that I saw it the other night

and when I showed it to Nisbet,

there was time for a lot of things to happen,

but...the creature only got into the house.

Creature? Figure, then.

It could have quite easily got about its business in that time

and gone back to wherever it came from.

But the fact of the window being open, I think, must mean that...

..that it's in there now.

So I feel quite easy about leaving it.

Might we go and see the picture?

I beg your pardon, sir! I shouldn't have taken the liberty.

Are you quite...?

Oh, you've seen it.

Yes.

What do you make of it?

Well, sir, of course, I know nothing about art and such,

and I don't set up my opinion against yours,

but it ain't the sort of thing I should hang

where my kiddy could see it, sir.

What? No, sir.

If she were to catch sight of that...

..skeleton, or whatever it is,

carrying off...

..whatever it is, she would be in a taking.

Will you be wanting anything more today, sir?

No, thank you, Mrs Filcher.

Thank you, sir.

Great God!

What is it?

What is that...thing?

What is that?

In his arms?

Is it...?

A child.

DRAMATIC MUSIC CRESCENDOS

KNOCKING ON DOOR, HE GASPS

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Who is it?

MAN: It's me!

Who? Who? It's Binks, of course!

You going to let a fella in? Yes, yes, of course.

Beware of golfers bearing gifts.

What? I say, old man, are you all right?

You look awfully peaky.

Yes, I'm all right. What is it?

It's the solution to your little puzzle.

May I?

Murray's Guide to Essex. Just sitting there

in the college library, would you believe? Large as life.

And I thought, "Well, maybe there's an answer to old Williams' problem."

Took me all of five minutes to find it.

"Anningley. 16-and-a-half miles north of Colchester,

"the church has been an interesting building of Norman date,

"but it was extensively classicised in the last century.

"It contains the tomb of the family of Francis..." Francis?

Yes. "..whose mansion, Anningley Hall,

"a solid Queen Anne house, stands immediately beyond the churchyard

"in a park of about 80 acres. The Francis family is now extinct,

"the last heir having disappeared mysteriously in infancy

"in the year of 1802.

"The father, Mr Arthur Francis, was locally known

"as a talented amateur engraver in mezzotint.

"After his son's disappearance, he lived in complete retirement

"at the hall and was found dead in his studio

"on the third anniversary of the disappearance,

"having just completed an engraving of the house,

"impressions of which are of considerable rarity."

There! Something-ley Hall in Essex or Sussex must be...

Anningley Hall in Essex.

Your picture, your mezzo-whatzit.

Might be worth a bob or two.

Oh, is that it?

No!

So there you are. Case closed.

There's no need to thank me.

Do you know, I think you're right, Williams?

It's nothing very remarkable after all, is it?

Really? As much as that? Fascinating.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Er... I'm afraid I really must be going now, madam.

No, I don't think it counts as a treasure trove, no.

Not at all.

Well, goodbye.

Yes, goodbye.

I trust this isn't an inconvenience?

I would have wired you,

but as I knew I'd be in the area, I thought I might pop in.

You're most welcome.

Well, I happened to fall into conversation with the local lady,

you see, who comes to deadhead the flowers,

a font of all knowledge and gossip going back who knows how long?

I mentioned the name Francis to see whether...

Well, it was all I could do to stop her talking.

It seems there was a Mr Arthur Francis...

Yes, I've recently come into possession

of some information regarding him.

Oh. Then my trip is wasted.

Oh, no, no, not at all, dear lady.

Pray, tell me everything.

Well...

..tragedy befell this Arthur Francis.

His only heir... Disappeared, yes.

I do beg your pardon.

Was there some speculation as to what might have happened

to the infant?

Oh, well...

..old Mr Francis was apparently always very much down on poachers.

And one in particular, he had it in for.

But Francis, they said, could never get at this fellow.

Gawdy, he was called.

What a name - Gawdy!

Francis could never get at him because he always kept

just on the right side of the law, until, one night, the keepers

found him poaching in a wood just at the end of the estate.

Well, that was what Francis was waiting for.

And poor Gawdy was strung up in double quick time,

buried on the north side of the church.

Of course, that's always the way.

Anyone who's been hanged or made away with themselves,

they bury them that side -

silly superstition, of course. like all of it.

Anyway, the idea was

that some friend of Gawdy

must have been planning to take hold of Francis's boy

and, out of revenge...

..put an end to his line.

Some friend! Yes.

Well, it could hardly been Gawdy himself, could it?

But that is not my main point. There's more.

More? Oh, yes!

Arthur Francis was apparently something of a rake,

and the gossip is

that he... Well...

He fathered a child with one of his servants.

But he wasn't such an ogre that he didn't provide for the child.

He paid for a local family to raise it,

to raise HIM.

Can't you guess?

The family's name was Williams

and the child's name... Oswald.

Indeed!

Your great-grandfather!

LAUGHS: It all fits!

Don't you see what this means?

You are the last

of the Francis line.

SHE GASPS

Isn't that splendid?

Splendid?

GOLF CLUB HITS BALL

Well played! Look at her go!

I've been thinking about what Nisbet is proposing.

Nisbet? Oh, the young fella. Degrees for women, you mean?

Yes.

I think he may be right.

You do?

Yes.

Good Lord, Williams.

Someone slip something in your chota peg?

One must look to the future, Binks.

Not the past.

DOOR OPENS, CLOCK TICKS

HE HUMS

HE PANTS

THUD

WINDOW CREAKS

FAINT HISSING

CREATURE LAUGHS

HE GASPS