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[theme music]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey
Amsterdam, Larry Mathews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Honey, have we got any aspirin?
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I've got a terrible headache.
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Rob, when are you going to take off that hat?
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You've been wearing it all day long.
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OK.
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Boy, you're in a giddy mood today.
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Why shouldn't I be?
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I'm a man blessed with a three day
weekend after a tough week's worth.
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I want to do something wild and abandoned.
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- I've got a great plan for you. - What?
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Go put all the shoe trees back in your shoes.
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Why be in a good mood when nobody can be in it with me?
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I am, darling.
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I am.
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I just want to finish this article.
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Hey, honey, I want to try an experiment.
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Hmm?
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Listen.
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I want to try the Polish Air Force equilibrium test on you.
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What will it do?
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Nothing.
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Just come.
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Put your hands out.
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Well, now turn them over. Like that.
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That's it. - What are you doing?
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OK.
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That's it.
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Just balance them on both hands like that.
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There.
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There what?
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Well, I mean, you're trapped You can't do anything now.
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Wait.
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[laughing]
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That's very good, darling.
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OK.
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Take them off for me now.
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[laughing]
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Because, Rob, see, I can't take them off.
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I-- You love me?
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Yes.
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Now, Rob, would you t-- t-- take them off?
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I know.
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I'll go put my shoe trees in, OK?
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Rob, I'll drop them.
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I'll drop them right on this floor.
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Now take them off. - No, you won't.
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Those are the ones your mom gave us.
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[doorbell ringing] - OK, Rob.
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Look, the game's over. I've got to go answer the door.
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Come on. - Oh, that's right.
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You do. - Take them off.
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Well, listen.
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I'll answer the door.
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Don't go away.
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OK, Rob, from now on, I'm going to starch your underwear.
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Well, I-- oh-- hmm-- oh--
oh, Rob.
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Honey.
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[mumbling]
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There's no time for that now.
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What are you doing?
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What's the matter with you?
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Honey, there's a G-man in the living room.
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And there's a nut in the kitchen.
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I'm not kidding you.
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That man in the living room is a government agent.
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What does he want?
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Us.
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A government agent here?
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Well, what for?
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I don't know yet.
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Rob, did you pay the traffic tickets?
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Sure, I did.
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We've got nothing to hide, honey.
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Come on.
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Hey, did you-- did you mail my income tax return?
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Yeah.
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Well, then we're clean.
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Come on.
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[coughing]
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Hello.
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Just admiring the view.
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Oh.
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Mr. Phillips, this is my wife, Laura.
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Laura, honey, this is Mr. Phillips,
the United States government agent.
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You make me sound so impressive, Mr. Petrie.
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Yeah, well, I guess you are to us.
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Won't you sit down, Mr. Phillips?
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- Yeah. - Thank you.
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Is this all right?
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Yeah, that's-- that's our government agent chair there.
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[laughing]
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Have, uh, we done something wrong?
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No, no, no.
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I guess it's kind of, uh, natural
to feel guilty around a law officer.
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Well, I'll come right to the point.
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What we want is your house.
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Our house did something wrong?
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No.
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My department would like to use your house as a base
for observation of the house across the street.
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Jerry Helper?
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He's my best friend.
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What did he do?
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No, no.
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Not Mr. Helper's house.
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A Mr. Gerard-- Wendell P Gerard.
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Do you know him?
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ROB: Well, not exactly.
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Has Mr. Gerard done something wrong?
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He seems like such a nice man.
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Just last week, he gave Ritchie some candy.
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Did Ritchie eat the candy?
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I don't know.
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We had a dog poisoned a few years ago.
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And you think Mr. Gerard did it?
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No, he didn't live here then.
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Wait a minute, folks.
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Look, I'm not really interested in Mr. Gerard.
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We're looking for one of his relatives,
a Lewis Darniet, a nephew of Mr. Gerard.
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I don't think we know him.
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Darniet was deported three years ago.
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LAURA: For what?
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For certain nefarious activities.
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Nefarious activities? What, spying?
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Dope and-- No.
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No, more like just gambling.
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And he sneaked back into the country illegally, huh?
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Well, then you think his nephew
might try to come to his house?
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Well, it's possible.
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This Darniet has several relatives on the East Coast.
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He might try hiding out with them.
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That's why we're asking you for the use of your house.
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Well, have other people let you
use their houses as peeking places?
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Uh, he means-- she
means observation.
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Yes, they have.
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We're talking about a stakeout, aren't we?
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As a matter of fact, yes.
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Stakeout?
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In our living room?
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Well, actually your, uh, son's,
uh, room has the best view.
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And since he's away at the Cub
Scouts-- How'd you know that?
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Honey, they know about these things.
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Well, what difference would it make if our son is here or--
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is there-- you think there would be some kind of danger?
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No, that's not very likely, ma'am.
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It's just that small boys-- they
don't keep secrets very well.
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Oh, I-- this will probably be classified, right?
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In a way.
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Now, look, folks, we can't order you to let us use your house.
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Well, I don't know.
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What do you think, honey?
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Gee, I don't know.
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Well, I'd like to put a man in here as soon as possible.
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Look.
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If you'd like to talk things
over, I'd be glad to step outside.
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Well, you don't have to do that.
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We'll step in the kitchen.
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We usually discuss our problems in the kitchen.
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Excuse us.
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What do you think?
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Gee, I don't know, Rob.
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Having somebody like that in our living room,
I-- just-- I'd feel like a peeping Tom.
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Honey, this is like our government.
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I know.
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But I just-- I don't like the idea of prying
into somebody else's private affairs.
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When is the last time you were asked
to be a responsible adult citizen?
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Well, you are talking like a responsible adult citizen,
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but I have a feeling that inside there's a little boy jumping
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up and down saying, oh, goody, goody, goody, cops and robbers.
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That is ridiculous.
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Is it?
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How many grown men still have their
Captain Midnight decoder rings?
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I don't still have it.
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It just happens to be in an old shoe box out there.
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Yeah, well, I don't notice you throwing it away.
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Well, there's a lot of things I don't do you don't notice.
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All right.
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All right, honey.
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I will leave it entirely up to you.
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But remember one thing.
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If a gambling casino or a strip joint
opens across the street, it's our fault.
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You're right.
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I am?
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I mean, about being an adult citizen.
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We'll let them use the house.
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Swell.
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I mean, uh, good decision.
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Rob.
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Huh?
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I just happened to think of something.
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How do we know that man out there
is really from the government?
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He showed me his identification.
195
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Well, did you get a good look at it?
196
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I mean, you saw his picture and everything?
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I mean, he just held it up like that for a second.
198
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Well, Rob, I'll agree to let them come in and use
the house, but only if we check his credentials.
199
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Gosh, that's so embarrassing.
200
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Not half as embarrassing as inviting
someone into your home to mug you.
201
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Well, all right.
202
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Well, what have you folks decided?
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Uh, well, Mr. Phillips, there is one thing.
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What is that?
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Uh, well, you can put a guy here, all right.
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Fine.
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I'm glad you'll cooperate.
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Well, Mr. Phillips, there's one other thing.
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Uh, I know you showed me your credentials and everything.
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But my wife-- I mean, she wanted to be sure.
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You flipped it so fast there, I--
well, she's-- you know how women are.
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Look.
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I respect your precautions.
214
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Most people don't even look at them when we do show them.
215
00:07:43,269 --> 00:07:47,006
Well, it's just that my mother always told
me that when you get into a cab, always
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check the picture on the back of the
seat to make sure it matches the driver.
217
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I don't know what good it does,
but you do things for your mother.
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Well, that's fine.
219
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Fine, fine, fine.
220
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That's not it.
221
00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:01,620
There it is.
222
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,621
Oh.
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00:08:02,721 --> 00:08:04,690
[doorbell ringing]
224
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,061
Hello?
225
00:08:09,161 --> 00:08:10,296
May I come in?
226
00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:12,765
Well, yeah-- uh, you a TV repairman?
227
00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:13,899
No.
228
00:08:13,999 --> 00:08:16,602
I believe Mr. Phillips told you to expect me.
229
00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:20,072
Phillips-- I don't believe I know any--
oh, my government man.
230
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:21,273
Mine, too.
231
00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:22,408
Oh, come in. You're a government man.
232
00:08:22,508 --> 00:08:23,742
I thought you were a TV repairman.
233
00:08:23,842 --> 00:08:26,178
Well, I didn't want to attract any attention.
234
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:27,613
Yeah, it's the fine tuner.
235
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I think fine tuner's out of whack.
236
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:34,253
Mr. Petrie, shouting attracts attention.
237
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I'll keep it down.
238
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By the way, uh, here's my identification.
239
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Mr. Phillips said you were a careful checker.
240
00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:41,260
Oh.
241
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,161
[laughing]
242
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,762
Well, not me so much.
243
00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:46,098
My wife, you know-- she wants to know who you are-- who you are.
244
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I know who you are.
245
00:08:47,466 --> 00:08:48,500
Well, could I see it?
246
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:49,501
Oh.
247
00:08:51,804 --> 00:08:52,638
All right.
248
00:08:52,738 --> 00:08:53,339
Bond.
249
00:08:53,439 --> 00:08:54,406
Harry Bond.
250
00:08:54,506 --> 00:08:58,711
Hey, you got the same last name--
Yeah, uh, please, no jokes.
251
00:08:58,811 --> 00:09:00,346
I'm not 007.
252
00:09:00,446 --> 00:09:01,547
Well, where shall I set up?
253
00:09:01,647 --> 00:09:02,982
Oh, I'll take you to the boy's room.
254
00:09:03,082 --> 00:09:04,016
I beg your pardon.
255
00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:06,085
Well, I mean, Ritchie, my son.
256
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,019
Oh.
257
00:09:07,119 --> 00:09:09,054
It's right down here.
258
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:13,325
I hope this will be all right for the stakeout.
259
00:09:13,425 --> 00:09:15,027
I mean, you know, for observing.
260
00:09:15,127 --> 00:09:16,261
Put your things on the bed there.
261
00:09:16,362 --> 00:09:17,229
It's fine.
262
00:09:17,329 --> 00:09:18,163
Fine.
263
00:09:18,264 --> 00:09:19,064
LAURA: Rob.
264
00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:20,599
In the bedroom, honey.
265
00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:23,435
Rob, there's a television repair
truck out in the driveway.
266
00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:24,970
And there's a TV repairman in here.
267
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:25,938
Is something wrong?
268
00:09:26,038 --> 00:09:26,872
Good cover.
269
00:09:26,972 --> 00:09:28,207
Your cover's holding.
270
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,242
Mrs. Petrie, I'm, uh, Mr. Phillips' partner.
271
00:09:30,342 --> 00:09:31,176
The agent.
272
00:09:31,276 --> 00:09:32,077
Oh.
273
00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:33,012
How do you do?
274
00:09:33,112 --> 00:09:34,413
Hi.
275
00:09:34,513 --> 00:09:36,849
Well, then that television repair
truck is a-- Is a repair truck.
276
00:09:36,949 --> 00:09:38,817
Uh, one of our men is inside with a walkie-talkie.
277
00:09:38,917 --> 00:09:40,686
He'll station himself a few blocks from here.
278
00:09:40,786 --> 00:09:42,521
In case there's any contact, right?
279
00:09:42,621 --> 00:09:43,589
Right.
280
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,125
Uh, Mrs. Petrie, here's my identification.
281
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:47,359
I already checked it, honey.
282
00:09:47,459 --> 00:09:48,494
Oh, Bond.
283
00:09:48,594 --> 00:09:52,464
Isn't that the name of the--
Honey, honey, honey.
284
00:09:52,564 --> 00:09:57,636
Oh, uh, Mr. Bond, I've cleaned the window so
that you could see the house very clearly.
285
00:09:57,736 --> 00:09:59,271
I noticed that, Mrs. Petrie.
286
00:09:59,371 --> 00:10:01,774
Uh, it looks a little funny from outside.
287
00:10:01,874 --> 00:10:03,275
Cleaner than all the others, you know.
288
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:04,476
You shouldn't have done that, honey.
289
00:10:04,576 --> 00:10:06,011
It draws attention to this room.
290
00:10:06,111 --> 00:10:06,912
[beeping]
291
00:10:07,012 --> 00:10:07,946
Oh.
292
00:10:10,382 --> 00:10:11,784
Excuse me.
293
00:10:11,884 --> 00:10:12,785
Yeah, Marvin?
294
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:14,353
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): Hi, Harry.
295
00:10:14,453 --> 00:10:19,825
We just got a report down here at headquarters
that Darniet was seen in sector six an hour ago.
296
00:10:19,925 --> 00:10:20,659
Sector six, that's us!
297
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:21,660
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): Yep.
298
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,195
Looks like New Rochelle is it.
299
00:10:23,295 --> 00:10:24,096
New Rochelle.
300
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:25,230
We're it.
301
00:10:25,331 --> 00:10:27,199
Well, I better get busy watching.
302
00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:28,734
Is there anything we can do, Mr. Bond?
303
00:10:28,834 --> 00:10:30,536
You haven't had dinner yet, have you?
304
00:10:30,636 --> 00:10:31,337
No.
305
00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:32,337
Why don't you have dinner?
306
00:10:32,438 --> 00:10:33,272
Right.
307
00:10:33,372 --> 00:10:34,173
Come on, honey.
308
00:10:34,273 --> 00:10:35,541
It's a dinner break.
309
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:02,735
Uh, Petrie.
310
00:11:02,835 --> 00:11:03,602
Huh?
311
00:11:03,702 --> 00:11:05,237
You're blocking me.
312
00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:07,106
Oh, sorry.
313
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:08,073
Think he'll show up?
314
00:11:08,173 --> 00:11:09,475
He might.
315
00:11:09,575 --> 00:11:11,210
Oh, my wife made some nut chewies.
316
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,745
Would you like one?
317
00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:13,512
Hey, thanks.
318
00:11:13,612 --> 00:11:17,182
Uh, oh, uh, no, thank you.
319
00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:18,183
I got a sort of a toothache.
320
00:11:18,283 --> 00:11:19,084
I know.
321
00:11:19,184 --> 00:11:20,018
I've had those.
322
00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:20,953
Hmm.
323
00:11:21,053 --> 00:11:21,954
But thank you, anyway.
324
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:22,988
It was a nice thought.
325
00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:24,022
It's OK.
326
00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:30,062
Boy, oh, boy.
327
00:11:30,162 --> 00:11:33,132
Have you got a lot of great gadgets in your business.
328
00:11:33,232 --> 00:11:34,633
You folks pay for them.
329
00:11:37,503 --> 00:11:38,670
Walkie-talkie, huh?
330
00:11:38,771 --> 00:11:39,404
Yeah.
331
00:11:39,505 --> 00:11:40,606
Yeah.
332
00:11:40,706 --> 00:11:42,207
My son's got one just exactly like it.
333
00:11:44,843 --> 00:11:47,746
This, uh-- is that anything?
334
00:11:47,846 --> 00:11:48,480
It is.
335
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:49,848
Don't take the cap off.
336
00:11:49,948 --> 00:11:52,117
Oh, uh, got you.
337
00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:53,118
It won't explode.
338
00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:54,319
It's a simple homing device.
339
00:11:54,419 --> 00:11:59,124
Oh, you mean-- [beeping]
Yeah, sure.
340
00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:01,193
Hey, boy.
341
00:12:01,293 --> 00:12:03,896
Is that a beautiful camera.
342
00:12:03,996 --> 00:12:06,231
BOND: It's got infrared film in it.
343
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:07,800
Oh, yeah, of course.
344
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,501
[whistling]
345
00:12:12,938 --> 00:12:13,772
A tape recorder?
346
00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:14,706
BOND: Yeah.
347
00:12:14,807 --> 00:12:15,440
Yeah.
348
00:12:15,541 --> 00:12:16,809
Compact, nice.
349
00:12:16,909 --> 00:12:17,843
BOND: Mhm.
350
00:12:27,653 --> 00:12:28,821
Uh, banana?
351
00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:29,855
Boy.
352
00:12:32,357 --> 00:12:36,094
Exceptionally good, uh, specimen here, nicely flat.
353
00:12:36,195 --> 00:12:37,429
This is a winner.
354
00:12:37,529 --> 00:12:38,997
[laughing]
355
00:12:40,199 --> 00:12:41,633
I hope you'll excuse me for being a little silly.
356
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,569
This is my first stakeout.
357
00:12:43,669 --> 00:12:44,870
That's all right.
358
00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:46,872
Hey, somebody's going by the Gerard house.
359
00:12:46,972 --> 00:12:47,806
I see them.
360
00:12:47,906 --> 00:12:49,074
What are you going to do?
361
00:12:49,174 --> 00:12:50,509
Nothing.
362
00:12:50,609 --> 00:12:52,544
It looks like just the paper boy.
363
00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:55,047
Yeah, it is.
364
00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:56,515
It's not the regular paper boy, though.
365
00:12:56,615 --> 00:12:57,416
He's not?
366
00:12:57,516 --> 00:12:58,617
No.
367
00:12:58,717 --> 00:13:01,286
That's the kid who comes on weekends.
368
00:13:01,386 --> 00:13:04,056
Oh.
369
00:13:04,156 --> 00:13:06,091
Well, this is the weekend.
370
00:13:06,191 --> 00:13:07,025
Yeah.
371
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:08,293
Yeah.
372
00:13:08,393 --> 00:13:09,828
You don't have to report that, huh?
373
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:11,396
No.
374
00:13:11,496 --> 00:13:15,868
Uh, but, uh, thanks for
reminding me I should report in.
375
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:19,872
Oh, that's what I'm here for.
376
00:13:19,972 --> 00:13:21,139
Hello, headquarters, hello.
377
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,708
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): Hello, Harry.
378
00:13:22,808 --> 00:13:23,742
How's everything?
379
00:13:23,842 --> 00:13:25,244
It's quiet here, Marvin.
380
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:28,847
Look, nobody's passed the house, except the paper boy.
381
00:13:28,947 --> 00:13:31,783
The, uh, weekend paperboy.
382
00:13:31,884 --> 00:13:33,018
Anything to report there?
383
00:13:33,118 --> 00:13:34,353
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): No, nothing.
384
00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:37,022
Hey, uh, how's your junior G-man?
385
00:13:37,122 --> 00:13:41,860
Is he still-- Uh, Marvin, this
isn't, uh, classified, is it?
386
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,762
Uh, Mr. Petrie is in the room with me.
387
00:13:43,862 --> 00:13:45,597
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): Oh, uh, yes.
388
00:13:45,697 --> 00:13:46,565
Yes, it is.
389
00:13:46,665 --> 00:13:47,900
Oh. [laughing]
390
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,101
Go ahead.
391
00:13:49,201 --> 00:13:51,837
I'll leave so you can finish your report there.
392
00:13:51,937 --> 00:13:52,638
[laughing]
393
00:13:52,738 --> 00:13:53,839
Tell-- tell Marvin I'm gone.
394
00:13:58,443 --> 00:13:59,344
Rob, what are you doing?
395
00:13:59,444 --> 00:14:00,279
Huh?
396
00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:01,513
Well, the paperboy came.
397
00:14:01,613 --> 00:14:02,681
I ought to get the paper.
398
00:14:02,781 --> 00:14:05,384
But should you be going out there?
399
00:14:05,484 --> 00:14:06,952
Honey, they said to act natural.
400
00:14:07,052 --> 00:14:09,755
If we leave the paper out there all night
long, they'll know-- naturally, they'll
401
00:14:09,855 --> 00:14:12,090
know something is wrong.
402
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:13,158
I better get the paper.
403
00:14:16,061 --> 00:14:17,996
[whistling]
404
00:14:24,803 --> 00:14:27,139
Boy, it's weird out there.
405
00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:29,608
There's nobody out there.
406
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:32,544
I can feel Harry Bond looking at me, though.
407
00:14:32,644 --> 00:14:34,446
Did you see me almost blow it?
408
00:14:34,546 --> 00:14:35,514
No, what happened?
409
00:14:35,614 --> 00:14:37,950
Well, I started to wave at him,
and I turned it into one of these.
410
00:14:42,654 --> 00:14:46,024
Well, he said that Darniet has been
reported in the neighborhood for hours now.
411
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:49,194
Yeah, I'd think if he were going to show up
here to hide out, he'd have arrived by now.
412
00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:50,262
Yeah.
413
00:14:50,362 --> 00:14:52,197
I hope nothing's happened to him.
414
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,665
Rob, he's a gangster.
415
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:55,000
Well, I-- I don't mean that, honey.
416
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,570
It's just that you get all excited
and keyed up and then nothing.
417
00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,539
Well, you talk like you want trouble.
418
00:15:00,639 --> 00:15:01,673
Well, I don't.
419
00:15:01,773 --> 00:15:03,675
A little excitement maybe.
420
00:15:03,775 --> 00:15:08,814
What is it to have a government agent in your
house who just sits around and eats bananas?
421
00:15:08,914 --> 00:15:09,982
Did he like the nut chewies?
422
00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:11,216
Oh, he couldn't eat it, honey.
423
00:15:11,316 --> 00:15:12,484
He's got a bad tooth.
424
00:15:12,584 --> 00:15:14,853
Well, how can he spy with a bad tooth?
425
00:15:14,953 --> 00:15:19,725
Honey, those guys are trained to spy with
bamboo shoots under their fingernails.
426
00:15:19,825 --> 00:15:22,995
Rob, maybe we ought to get out of the
house, go to a movie or something.
427
00:15:23,095 --> 00:15:25,063
Honey, we got to stay here in case he needs us for something.
428
00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:26,231
Like what?
429
00:15:26,331 --> 00:15:28,300
Well, like the nut chewies you made for him.
430
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,901
Well, he didn't eat them.
431
00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:34,172
Well, he might need a glass of milk or a banana or something.
432
00:15:34,272 --> 00:15:36,575
We've got to stay around here and act natural.
433
00:15:36,675 --> 00:15:39,344
Well, boy, I sure don't feel very natural.
434
00:15:39,444 --> 00:15:40,545
You don't look it, either.
435
00:15:40,645 --> 00:15:41,780
Hey, why don't we go visit someone?
436
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,082
Honey, Darniet is in sector six.
437
00:15:44,182 --> 00:15:45,150
I know.
438
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,519
So let's go visit someone in sector seven.
439
00:15:47,619 --> 00:15:49,054
We can't.
440
00:15:49,154 --> 00:15:50,722
We got to stay around here and try to act natural, honey.
441
00:15:50,822 --> 00:15:53,358
Well, boy, I sure wish we could think of something.
442
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:54,926
Hey.
443
00:15:55,027 --> 00:15:58,497
What do you do at 7 o'clock if you haven't already done it?
444
00:15:58,597 --> 00:15:59,598
- Eat. - Yeah.
445
00:15:59,698 --> 00:16:00,599
Right.
446
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:01,666
I didn't serve you dinner.
447
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:03,068
Well, not since yesterday.
448
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:04,603
Rob, I'm sorry.
449
00:16:04,703 --> 00:16:05,937
What-- what would you like?
450
00:16:06,038 --> 00:16:08,540
Well, uh, make something very light, honey.
451
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,674
I might have to, you know, move.
452
00:16:09,775 --> 00:16:12,644
Oh, Rob, don't talk that way.
453
00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:14,579
Just lettuce-- Golly.
454
00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:15,981
Or something, energy food.
455
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:32,764
What happened?
456
00:16:32,864 --> 00:16:34,966
The lights, Mr. Petrie.
457
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:36,034
Oh.
458
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:37,569
They can see you from across the street.
459
00:16:37,669 --> 00:16:39,071
They can see me from Denver.
460
00:16:41,973 --> 00:16:44,976
Oh, I'm really sorry.
461
00:16:45,077 --> 00:16:48,313
I, uh-- I couldn't sleep, and I thought
I'd see if anything had developed.
462
00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:49,247
It has.
463
00:16:49,347 --> 00:16:50,515
What, what?
464
00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:54,186
My little toothache has developed into a great big one.
465
00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:58,223
I couldn't resist those darn nut chewies.
466
00:16:58,323 --> 00:16:59,224
Hey, listen.
467
00:16:59,324 --> 00:17:00,358
My next door neighbor is a dentist.
468
00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:01,526
I could call him.
469
00:17:01,626 --> 00:17:03,261
I don't think that's a good idea.
470
00:17:03,361 --> 00:17:04,663
Oh, that's right.
471
00:17:04,763 --> 00:17:06,364
His wife is a blabber-- well, you've got that in your report.
472
00:17:06,465 --> 00:17:07,632
Yeah.
473
00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:08,800
My replacement is due in about an hour.
474
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,002
I think I can hold out till then.
475
00:17:11,103 --> 00:17:12,604
OK.
476
00:17:12,704 --> 00:17:14,005
Well, you know what?
477
00:17:14,106 --> 00:17:15,407
That looks awfully swollen.
478
00:17:15,507 --> 00:17:17,442
The pain-- Is it real hurt?
479
00:17:17,542 --> 00:17:19,611
The pain goes shooting right through my eyes.
480
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:21,246
I mean, I can hardly see straight.
481
00:17:21,346 --> 00:17:22,747
Oh.
482
00:17:22,848 --> 00:17:27,819
Uh, listen, uh, maybe you'd feel better
if you lay down for a little while.
483
00:17:27,919 --> 00:17:29,087
Well, I probably would, but I can't.
484
00:17:29,187 --> 00:17:30,722
I-- I can watch the window for you.
485
00:17:30,822 --> 00:17:32,190
No. I don't think so.
486
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,391
No, really.
487
00:17:33,492 --> 00:17:34,559
You could lay right there, and I'd be right here.
488
00:17:34,659 --> 00:17:35,594
I'm good with binoculars.
489
00:17:35,694 --> 00:17:36,495
Well, I don't know.
490
00:17:36,595 --> 00:17:37,696
Oh, please.
491
00:17:37,796 --> 00:17:38,930
I mean, you know, you'd feel better.
492
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,599
And you'd be laying right there.
493
00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:44,269
You know, with all that pain,
you might miss something out that window.
494
00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:46,438
You may be right,
but-- I know I'm right.
495
00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:47,706
Hey, I know.
496
00:17:47,806 --> 00:17:50,208
Go in the bathroom, rinse out your
mouth with some good warm water.
497
00:17:50,308 --> 00:17:51,743
There's some aspirin in the medicine cabinet.
498
00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:53,011
Put a couple on the tooth.
499
00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:54,246
It always helps me.
500
00:17:58,416 --> 00:17:59,251
Mr. Bond?
501
00:17:59,351 --> 00:17:59,985
What?
502
00:18:00,085 --> 00:18:01,219
Can I have the binos?
503
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:02,154
The what?
504
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:02,888
The binocs.
505
00:18:02,988 --> 00:18:04,422
Oh, the binoculars.
506
00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:05,457
Yeah, check.
507
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,194
Sure.
508
00:18:09,294 --> 00:18:12,197
Should I, uh, log in here or anything?
509
00:18:12,297 --> 00:18:13,498
No.
510
00:18:13,598 --> 00:18:16,535
Just look.
511
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:17,569
Go ahead and rinse out.
512
00:18:27,012 --> 00:18:28,180
How's it going?
513
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,817
Well, the baby aspirin are kind of weak.
514
00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:35,120
Well, it's,
uh-- it's only been about 20 minutes.
515
00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:43,962
[whistling quietly]
516
00:18:56,942 --> 00:18:59,010
BOND: What happened?
517
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:00,312
Huh? Nothing.
518
00:19:00,412 --> 00:19:01,079
Nothing.
519
00:19:01,179 --> 00:19:02,380
It's all quiet out there.
520
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:09,921
Hey, Mr. Bond, uh, I took a
picture with this infrared camera.
521
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:11,656
Of what?
522
00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:12,657
Well, of you sleeping.
523
00:19:20,198 --> 00:19:22,367
Mr. Petrie, why did you do that?
524
00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,101
An accident.
525
00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,036
It was just an accident.
526
00:19:25,136 --> 00:19:26,304
Uh, I thought I better tell you.
527
00:19:26,404 --> 00:19:31,509
You know, if the government saw it,
they might dock your base pay or something.
528
00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:32,744
Oh, don't worry about it.
529
00:19:32,844 --> 00:19:33,678
Thanks for telling me.
530
00:19:33,778 --> 00:19:36,448
Gerard's door is open.
531
00:19:36,548 --> 00:19:37,482
You want these?
532
00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:38,750
No, no. Keep looking.
533
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:40,185
Keep looking, and tell me what happens.
534
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:41,119
OK.
535
00:19:41,219 --> 00:19:42,287
Well, it's Gerard. - Hello, Marvin?
536
00:19:42,387 --> 00:19:43,021
Marvin.
537
00:19:43,121 --> 00:19:44,155
Come in, Marvin.
538
00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:45,624
Gerard's coming out the front door.
539
00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:46,825
This darn thing doesn't work.
540
00:19:46,925 --> 00:19:48,159
He's coming down the steps.
541
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:49,961
Darn thing, what's the matter with this thing?
542
00:19:50,061 --> 00:19:50,862
It's out of batteries.
543
00:19:50,962 --> 00:19:53,865
That's my son's.
544
00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:55,233
Where's mine?
545
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,167
Uh, here.
546
00:19:56,268 --> 00:19:57,802
I had it in case Marvin checked in.
547
00:19:57,903 --> 00:19:59,738
He's almost to the sidewalk.
548
00:19:59,838 --> 00:20:00,672
Hello, Marvin?
549
00:20:00,772 --> 00:20:01,906
Come in, Marvin.
550
00:20:02,007 --> 00:20:02,907
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): Yes, Harry.
551
00:20:03,008 --> 00:20:03,942
Gerard just left the house.
552
00:20:04,042 --> 00:20:04,976
He's coming across the street.
553
00:20:05,076 --> 00:20:06,111
Hey, he's coming up our path.
554
00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:07,045
He's at our front door.
555
00:20:07,145 --> 00:20:08,179
He's at our front door.
556
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,481
He's at the front door, Marvin.
557
00:20:09,581 --> 00:20:10,482
Hey, what does he want?
558
00:20:10,582 --> 00:20:12,083
What do I do now? [doorbell ringing]
559
00:20:12,183 --> 00:20:13,518
MARVIN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): I'll send a car over.
560
00:20:13,618 --> 00:20:15,654
Play it safe until you find out if Darniet is there.
561
00:20:15,754 --> 00:20:16,821
Check. [doorbell ringing]
562
00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:17,756
What does he want?
563
00:20:17,856 --> 00:20:18,657
What do we do?
564
00:20:18,757 --> 00:20:19,691
We'll find out.
565
00:20:19,791 --> 00:20:20,759
Just go to the door.
566
00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:22,260
Act normal.
567
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,129
I'll be right with you so there won't be any trouble.
568
00:20:24,229 --> 00:20:24,829
OK.
569
00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:25,864
What's the gun for?
570
00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:29,334
So there won't be any trouble.
571
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:30,568
Which way's the living room?
572
00:20:30,669 --> 00:20:31,569
That way.
573
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:32,570
Oh.
574
00:20:34,539 --> 00:20:36,007
I hope he didn't find out we were spying.
575
00:20:36,107 --> 00:20:36,942
I don't think so.
576
00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:38,877
Act like nothing is wrong.
577
00:20:38,977 --> 00:20:40,612
I'll cover you from the kitchen.
578
00:20:40,712 --> 00:20:41,980
OK.
579
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:42,914
And Mr. Petrie.
580
00:20:43,014 --> 00:20:43,848
Huh?
581
00:20:43,948 --> 00:20:45,216
I'm a marksman.
582
00:20:45,317 --> 00:20:46,251
Good.
583
00:20:49,587 --> 00:20:50,622
Hello?
584
00:20:50,722 --> 00:20:53,758
Hello, I'm Mr. Gerard from across the street.
585
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:58,630
Well, I hate to disturb you this
late, but my privacy has been invaded.
586
00:20:58,730 --> 00:20:59,664
Uh, may I come in, please?
587
00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:00,598
Uh, yeah.
588
00:21:00,699 --> 00:21:01,866
Come in, please.
589
00:21:01,966 --> 00:21:06,771
I'm sorry your privacy was invaded,
Mr-- Rob, I heard you-- Mr. Gerard.
590
00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:07,772
Everything is all right, honey.
591
00:21:07,872 --> 00:21:09,074
Nothing is all right.
592
00:21:09,174 --> 00:21:10,909
My privacy has been invaded.
593
00:21:11,009 --> 00:21:13,044
Well, where's-- He's in the
kitchen, honey.
594
00:21:13,144 --> 00:21:14,079
Our puppy.
595
00:21:14,179 --> 00:21:16,381
We have a puppy in the kitchen.
596
00:21:16,481 --> 00:21:18,083
[gasping]
597
00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:23,755
Anything wrong?
598
00:21:23,855 --> 00:21:24,889
Uh, no, no.
599
00:21:24,990 --> 00:21:26,424
We just tripped. - Smoke?
600
00:21:26,524 --> 00:21:27,192
No.
601
00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:29,394
No, thank-- I-- I
don't-- [clearing throat]
602
00:21:29,494 --> 00:21:30,895
Mr. Gerard, did you want something?
603
00:21:30,995 --> 00:21:35,934
Mr. and Mrs. Petrie, in every human
life, unpleasantness comes.
604
00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:39,437
It is my unfortunate pleasure to bring you unpleasantness.
605
00:21:39,537 --> 00:21:42,540
Tonight, there is no peace in my heart.
606
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:43,475
There isn't?
607
00:21:43,575 --> 00:21:44,175
No, no.
608
00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:45,443
Because I am upset.
609
00:21:45,543 --> 00:21:48,446
I must do something I do not want to do.
610
00:21:48,546 --> 00:21:49,481
Mr. Bond!
611
00:21:49,581 --> 00:21:51,216
(SINGING) Mr. Bond, that's our puppy.
612
00:21:51,316 --> 00:21:52,350
Mr. Bond, Mr. Puppy.
613
00:21:52,450 --> 00:21:54,052
May I use your telephone?
614
00:21:54,152 --> 00:21:55,720
- Yeah, go ahead. - I must.
615
00:21:55,820 --> 00:21:56,621
I must.
616
00:21:56,721 --> 00:21:58,323
I must.
617
00:21:58,423 --> 00:21:59,758
No.
618
00:21:59,858 --> 00:22:03,962
Look-- Get down, honey.
619
00:22:04,062 --> 00:22:04,963
Take it.
620
00:22:05,063 --> 00:22:05,897
All right.
621
00:22:05,997 --> 00:22:07,565
Put your hands up.
622
00:22:07,665 --> 00:22:08,967
No, not you.
623
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:09,968
No, you up.
624
00:22:10,068 --> 00:22:10,935
No, not me up.
625
00:22:11,035 --> 00:22:12,237
You, up.
626
00:22:16,574 --> 00:22:17,242
All right.
627
00:22:17,342 --> 00:22:18,843
Now what's going on here?
628
00:22:18,943 --> 00:22:20,445
Please, I need my hands to explain.
629
00:22:20,545 --> 00:22:21,379
Go ahead.
630
00:22:21,479 --> 00:22:22,580
Thank you.
631
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,818
You see, my nephew is a-- he is a wanted criminal.
632
00:22:26,918 --> 00:22:28,486
He's invaded my privacy.
633
00:22:28,586 --> 00:22:33,191
He's right down in my bed asleep,
and this gun-- this was in the bed.
634
00:22:33,291 --> 00:22:34,759
I found there waiting.
635
00:22:34,859 --> 00:22:35,660
I am afraid.
636
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,661
He's a terrible person.
637
00:22:36,761 --> 00:22:37,962
I must call the police.
638
00:22:38,062 --> 00:22:41,299
He's-- what's the number of the police?
639
00:22:41,399 --> 00:22:42,867
You won't need that. Come on.
640
00:22:42,967 --> 00:22:43,835
Let's go get your nephew.
641
00:22:43,935 --> 00:22:45,103
Who is he?
642
00:22:45,203 --> 00:22:46,938
He is a special agent of our government.
643
00:22:47,038 --> 00:22:48,373
Already here?
644
00:22:48,473 --> 00:22:51,109
How?
645
00:22:51,209 --> 00:22:53,478
I'll explain later, Mr. Gerard.
646
00:22:53,578 --> 00:22:55,947
In this country is everything going so fast.
647
00:22:56,047 --> 00:22:56,948
Can I have the phone?
648
00:22:57,048 --> 00:22:58,049
No, I-- I brought it home.
649
00:22:58,149 --> 00:22:59,250
Thank you.
650
00:23:02,987 --> 00:23:04,289
Rob, where are you going?
651
00:23:04,389 --> 00:23:06,191
Honey, I-- I want to see them make the capture.
652
00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:07,725
Well, Rob, it's damp out.
653
00:23:07,826 --> 00:23:08,793
You're in your pajamas.
654
00:23:08,893 --> 00:23:10,128
Harry Bond is a marksman, honey.
655
00:23:10,228 --> 00:23:11,763
But, Rob, it's dangerous.
656
00:23:11,863 --> 00:23:13,298
I'll be back in a minute, honey.
657
00:23:13,398 --> 00:23:14,499
You'll catch cold, Rob.
658
00:23:14,599 --> 00:23:15,800
They'll never even notice me.
659
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:16,801
They don't--
660
00:23:21,773 --> 00:23:22,507
Come on.
661
00:23:22,607 --> 00:23:24,142
Don't play with their equipment.
662
00:23:24,242 --> 00:23:25,577
Well, it's all right with him, honey.
663
00:23:25,677 --> 00:23:26,978
He let me.
664
00:23:27,078 --> 00:23:28,279
I was using the camera and the walkie-talkie and everything.
665
00:23:28,379 --> 00:23:29,848
I was his assistant.
666
00:23:32,750 --> 00:23:33,585
Hello, Thrush.
667
00:23:33,685 --> 00:23:35,520
This is agent 0009.
668
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:39,390
If you do not release our agents immediately,
we will activate our atomic deactivator,
669
00:23:39,491 --> 00:23:41,926
and we will blow up your tonsils.
670
00:23:42,026 --> 00:23:43,328
You read me there, Thrush?
671
00:23:43,428 --> 00:23:44,796
BOND (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): This is Thrush.
672
00:23:44,896 --> 00:23:46,364
Hi, Thrush.
673
00:23:46,464 --> 00:23:50,401
BOND (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): We read you, and we'll
release all your agents if you just stop
674
00:23:50,502 --> 00:23:53,304
playing with our equipment.
675
00:23:53,404 --> 00:23:54,939
Mr. Bond, I'm sorry.
676
00:23:55,039 --> 00:23:56,374
I thought this was my son's.
677
00:23:56,474 --> 00:23:58,009
BOND (ON WALKIE-TALKIE): It's all right, 0009.
678
00:23:58,109 --> 00:23:59,077
We'll be right in.
679
00:23:59,177 --> 00:23:59,978
OK.
680
00:24:00,078 --> 00:24:02,747
Over-- over and out.
681
00:24:02,847 --> 00:24:03,681
Happy now?
682
00:24:03,781 --> 00:24:04,782
Well, yeah.
683
00:24:04,883 --> 00:24:05,984
They're releasing our agents, aren't they?
684
00:24:06,084 --> 00:24:07,185
[laughing]
685
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,790
[music playing]
46600
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