Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,442 --> 00:00:03,510
[theme music]
2
00:00:03,610 --> 00:00:06,513
ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
3
00:00:06,613 --> 00:00:18,725
Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey
Amsterdam, Larry Mathews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
4
00:00:21,895 --> 00:00:22,862
OK.
5
00:00:22,963 --> 00:00:23,830
There you are. - All right.
6
00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:24,965
How do I look?
7
00:00:25,065 --> 00:00:26,066
Like a symphony in black and white?
8
00:00:26,166 --> 00:00:27,534
No. Like an unfinished symphony.
9
00:00:27,634 --> 00:00:29,936
Your garter's hanging out.
10
00:00:30,036 --> 00:00:33,673
I always hook those up last because
they stop the circulation to my ankles.
11
00:00:33,773 --> 00:00:34,808
Hey, Rob.
12
00:00:34,908 --> 00:00:36,409
This play's we're going to see, is it any good?
13
00:00:36,509 --> 00:00:37,811
How can it be any good? Alan gave us the tickets.
14
00:00:37,911 --> 00:00:39,079
No. It'll be fun.
15
00:00:39,179 --> 00:00:40,180
It's an opening night. We'll see a lot of celebrities.
16
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,581
Uh, what celebrities?
17
00:00:41,681 --> 00:00:44,284
Just the underlings will go.
18
00:00:44,384 --> 00:00:46,186
Which way is up?
19
00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:48,455
Oh.
20
00:00:48,555 --> 00:00:49,856
Give me that. - No.
21
00:00:49,956 --> 00:00:51,191
No.
22
00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:53,226
Turn it with the pleats up to catch the popcorn.
23
00:00:53,326 --> 00:00:54,661
[laughs]
24
00:00:54,761 --> 00:00:55,362
Come on.
25
00:00:55,462 --> 00:00:57,030
It's not that funny.
26
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:58,031
No.
27
00:00:58,131 --> 00:00:59,466
I'm laughing at the script.
28
00:00:59,566 --> 00:01:01,167
Oh, maybe you're reading some of my jokes.
29
00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:02,135
No. No.
30
00:01:02,235 --> 00:01:03,336
It's the stage directions.
31
00:01:03,436 --> 00:01:05,705
Well, you're probably reading
some of my funny stage directions.
32
00:01:05,805 --> 00:01:07,807
Rob, doesn't Alan get mad at things like this?
33
00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:08,742
Like what?
34
00:01:08,842 --> 00:01:13,113
Right here in the directions you say Alan
Brady, the obnoxious, offensive, egomaniac
35
00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:15,815
makes his entrance and destroys our brilliant monologue.
36
00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:16,816
- Oh, that. - Yeah.
37
00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:17,651
That.
38
00:01:17,751 --> 00:01:19,386
It's a terrible thing to say.
39
00:01:19,486 --> 00:01:21,087
Wait till you see what I wrote on page seven.
40
00:01:21,187 --> 00:01:22,589
Oh?
41
00:01:22,689 --> 00:01:24,658
Any week that he gives us a hard time, like this week,
42
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:28,428
we write all those things and then we revert
to childhood and take out our hostilities.
43
00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:30,063
You sure had a lot of hostilities.
44
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:34,834
After his monologue, Alan flogs his writers and kicks a dog.
45
00:01:34,934 --> 00:01:36,236
That's mine.
46
00:01:36,336 --> 00:01:40,507
Did you come to that part yet where I
call him a dictatorial, bald-headed fink?
47
00:01:40,607 --> 00:01:42,042
That's not yours.
48
00:01:42,142 --> 00:01:43,109
Bald-headed fink is mine.
49
00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:44,044
He gave me the big word.
50
00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:45,445
Oh.
51
00:01:45,545 --> 00:01:47,247
Boy, you'd think Alan would get furious at this.
52
00:01:47,347 --> 00:01:48,581
Oh, good thinking.
53
00:01:48,682 --> 00:01:50,283
If Alan ever saw those things, he'd kill us.
54
00:01:50,383 --> 00:01:51,384
Well, then he doesn't see them.
55
00:01:51,484 --> 00:01:52,719
No. You see that's our copy.
56
00:01:52,819 --> 00:01:56,056
The one we give to Alan we ink out the insults.
57
00:01:56,156 --> 00:01:59,726
Except when we're in a hurry to get dressed for the theater.
58
00:01:59,826 --> 00:02:00,694
What?
59
00:02:00,794 --> 00:02:03,029
Rob, did you cross out Alan's copy?
60
00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:04,264
- No, you did. - No, I didn't.
61
00:02:04,364 --> 00:02:05,598
- Buddy? - No, no.
62
00:02:05,699 --> 00:02:06,366
You did.
63
00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:07,233
Well, stop saying I did.
64
00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:08,168
I didn't.
65
00:02:08,268 --> 00:02:09,202
Somebody had to.
66
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,270
But nobody did.
67
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,171
Oh, boy.
68
00:02:11,271 --> 00:02:12,472
We're dead.
69
00:02:12,572 --> 00:02:14,874
You mean then Alan has the other script?
70
00:02:14,974 --> 00:02:18,144
By now he's got the script in
one hand and a gun in the other.
71
00:02:22,949 --> 00:02:23,583
Uh-oh.
72
00:02:23,683 --> 00:02:24,851
Here's another one.
73
00:02:24,951 --> 00:02:26,319
Big-mouthed slob.
74
00:02:26,419 --> 00:02:27,287
Ugh.
75
00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:28,321
I don't remember that one.
76
00:02:28,421 --> 00:02:30,890
I ad libbed that.
77
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,425
I'll be sure and mention that to Alan.
78
00:02:32,525 --> 00:02:33,426
Better give me that page.
79
00:02:33,526 --> 00:02:34,728
Let me ink it out.
80
00:02:34,828 --> 00:02:37,430
Boy, I hope Rob is right about the
script still being up in Alan's office.
81
00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:38,765
Maybe he left it out reading it.
82
00:02:38,865 --> 00:02:40,433
Well, I got a feeling he hasn't read it yet.
83
00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:41,735
BUDDY: Why?
84
00:02:41,835 --> 00:02:42,869
Because we're still here talking about it.
85
00:02:42,969 --> 00:02:45,238
If he read it, we'd be all
beaten and bruised in the alley.
86
00:02:45,338 --> 00:02:46,372
You know, that's right.
87
00:02:46,473 --> 00:02:48,274
If Alan had read it,
I think you'd have heard something by now.
88
00:02:48,374 --> 00:02:49,576
Yeah.
89
00:02:49,676 --> 00:02:52,378
Well, Mel said he'd leave it on Alan's desk
just in case Alan came back after his haircut.
90
00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:53,880
Well, then Alan ought to be back.
91
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,316
With his head it only takes two seconds for a haircut.
92
00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:57,751
Say, hey, was it in the office?
93
00:02:57,851 --> 00:02:58,485
I don't know.
94
00:02:58,585 --> 00:02:59,385
The door's locked.
95
00:02:59,486 --> 00:03:00,920
Oh, boy.
96
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,422
We just got enough time to catch the U-boat to Argentina.
97
00:03:02,522 --> 00:03:04,157
Why'd you two have to type the words in?
98
00:03:04,257 --> 00:03:05,291
Isn't saying it enough?
99
00:03:05,391 --> 00:03:06,893
No.
100
00:03:06,993 --> 00:03:10,430
There's something about seeing it in print
that's much better than hearing it in spoken.
101
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:15,602
Maybe if you explained well-- Honey, how much
explaining can you do between "you're" and "fired"?
102
00:03:15,702 --> 00:03:17,771
Well, Rob, you're going to have to do something.
103
00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:18,872
Yeah.
104
00:03:18,972 --> 00:03:20,039
How about let's get police protection, huh?
105
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:21,241
I got it.
106
00:03:21,341 --> 00:03:22,776
I know how to get in Alan's office.
107
00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:23,710
What are you going to do? Pick the lock with a telephone?
108
00:03:23,810 --> 00:03:24,811
No.
109
00:03:24,911 --> 00:03:26,279
I'm going to call Mac, the night watchman.
110
00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:27,213
Oh, that's right.
111
00:03:27,313 --> 00:03:28,348
He got a skeleton phone.
112
00:03:28,448 --> 00:03:29,282
Mac?
113
00:03:29,382 --> 00:03:30,917
Mac, Rob Petrie.
114
00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:31,885
Uh. Yeah.
115
00:03:31,985 --> 00:03:32,585
Yeah.
116
00:03:32,685 --> 00:03:33,987
Working late again.
117
00:03:34,087 --> 00:03:34,687
Yeah.
118
00:03:34,788 --> 00:03:35,622
No, don't worry, Mac.
119
00:03:35,722 --> 00:03:37,190
We'll-- we'll lock up.
120
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,259
Mac, as a matter of fact, that's why I wanted to talk to you.
121
00:03:39,359 --> 00:03:40,593
Listen.
122
00:03:40,693 --> 00:03:42,262
[clears throat] We left something
very important in Alan's office.
123
00:03:42,362 --> 00:03:43,229
Yeah, our lives.
124
00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:44,664
Yeah.
125
00:03:44,764 --> 00:03:46,466
Mac, we have to have it tonight.
126
00:03:46,566 --> 00:03:51,037
I was just saying to Buddy and Sally here, if
anybody can help us out, good old Mac can.
127
00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:53,540
You won't help us?
128
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,208
No, I understand, Mac.
129
00:03:55,308 --> 00:03:56,309
Thank you anyway.
130
00:03:56,409 --> 00:03:57,844
Well, so much for good old Mac.
131
00:03:57,944 --> 00:04:00,613
Well, it's not his fault. He's got
strict orders not to open Alan's office.
132
00:04:00,713 --> 00:04:02,182
Well, we're out of business.
133
00:04:02,282 --> 00:04:03,750
Oh, there's got to be some way of getting that script back.
134
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:05,084
What? Break in his office?
135
00:04:05,185 --> 00:04:06,085
Yeah.
136
00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:07,220
ROB: We can't do that.
137
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,622
Prisoners all over the world do it.
138
00:04:09,722 --> 00:04:12,392
Hey, there's a transom over that door.
139
00:04:12,492 --> 00:04:13,726
If it was open, we could crawl through it.
140
00:04:13,827 --> 00:04:15,195
Rob, that's burglary.
141
00:04:15,295 --> 00:04:16,463
Not technically, honey.
142
00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:17,764
We're taking back something we gave Alan.
143
00:04:17,864 --> 00:04:20,266
The worst they can call us is Indian givers.
144
00:04:20,366 --> 00:04:22,869
Well, anything's better than being called unemployed.
145
00:04:22,969 --> 00:04:26,039
Honey, it won't hurt if we just go up
there and take a look at the door. - Yeah.
146
00:04:26,139 --> 00:04:27,073
Yeah.
147
00:04:27,173 --> 00:04:28,241
Rob, let's go take a look at the door.
148
00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:29,375
Oh, Rob, I don't like it.
149
00:04:29,475 --> 00:04:30,276
What do you mean you don't like?
150
00:04:30,376 --> 00:04:31,110
You didn't even see it.
151
00:04:31,211 --> 00:04:32,345
It's a great door.
152
00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,280
What about the play?
153
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:35,815
Laura, this is the play.
154
00:04:35,915 --> 00:04:37,917
Three writers in search of their jobs.
155
00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:38,985
Come on, guys.
156
00:04:39,085 --> 00:04:40,386
Honey, we're just going to take a look.
157
00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:41,321
Now, we'll be back in a few minutes.
158
00:04:41,421 --> 00:04:42,355
No, no. I'm going too.
159
00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:43,489
You know, there's no need to.
160
00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:44,757
Yes, there is, Rob.
161
00:04:44,858 --> 00:04:47,994
If you're going to do something illegal, I'm going
to be there to see you don't get into trouble.
162
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,068
Rob, it isn't right.
163
00:04:55,168 --> 00:04:56,936
Honey, we're not doing anything wrong.
164
00:04:57,036 --> 00:04:57,871
We work here.
165
00:04:57,971 --> 00:04:59,205
We walk down this hall every day.
166
00:04:59,305 --> 00:05:00,540
We've got every right in the world to be here.
167
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,443
Keep a look out.
168
00:05:03,543 --> 00:05:05,812
Oh, Rob, you're not even sure it's in there.
169
00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:07,247
It's got to be in there.
170
00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:08,715
I don't want to think about it if it isn't in there.
171
00:05:08,815 --> 00:05:11,618
Hey, aren't we supposed to
synchronize watches or something?
172
00:05:11,718 --> 00:05:13,052
Transom's closed.
173
00:05:13,152 --> 00:05:13,920
Oh, gee.
174
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:15,288
That's too bad. Well, let's go.
175
00:05:15,388 --> 00:05:16,289
Come on. - No.
176
00:05:16,389 --> 00:05:17,257
It doesn't mean it's locked.
177
00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:19,092
I don't want to be here.
178
00:05:19,192 --> 00:05:19,859
It's locked.
179
00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,060
Hey, you know something.
180
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,296
If one of us were on the other side,
we could open it from that side.
181
00:05:25,798 --> 00:05:27,267
It looks like it was just freshly painted.
182
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,268
It may just be stuck.
183
00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:29,302
No.
184
00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:30,637
That looks locked to me, Rob.
185
00:05:30,737 --> 00:05:31,905
How can something look locked?
186
00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:34,274
LAURA: Well-- ROB: If I just
had something to stand on.
187
00:05:34,374 --> 00:05:35,308
Wait a minute.
188
00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,010
Maybe there's something in here.
189
00:05:37,110 --> 00:05:39,879
Hey, how about an alpaca sweater.
190
00:05:39,979 --> 00:05:42,582
Only if the alpaca's still in it.
191
00:05:42,682 --> 00:05:44,417
Look at this janitor's stepstool.
192
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:45,351
And look at this.
193
00:05:45,451 --> 00:05:46,386
An umbrella.
194
00:05:46,486 --> 00:05:48,454
Yeah, that'd be my guess.
195
00:05:48,554 --> 00:05:51,391
Give me the stepstool.
196
00:05:51,491 --> 00:05:52,992
Boy, this reminds me.
197
00:05:53,092 --> 00:05:55,929
I saw a movie once where these guys broke into a
jewelry store using an umbrella. - Hey, yeah.
198
00:05:56,029 --> 00:05:56,696
I saw that.
199
00:05:56,796 --> 00:05:57,897
That was a great picture.
200
00:05:57,997 --> 00:05:59,198
What was the name of that? "Rififi."
201
00:05:59,299 --> 00:05:59,933
That's right. - Yeah.
202
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:00,800
"Riffiffy."
203
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,068
- No, "Rififi." - "Riffiffy."
204
00:06:02,168 --> 00:06:02,769
No.
205
00:06:02,869 --> 00:06:03,703
Laura, what was it?
206
00:06:03,803 --> 00:06:04,904
"Rififi" or "Riffiffy"?
207
00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:05,905
"Topkapi."
208
00:06:06,005 --> 00:06:06,906
No, no.
209
00:06:07,006 --> 00:06:08,241
That was another good picture.
210
00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:09,709
That was "Topkapi."
211
00:06:09,809 --> 00:06:11,277
What difference does it make? What about the umbrella?
212
00:06:11,377 --> 00:06:12,745
Oh yeah.
213
00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:14,147
Well, these guys drilled a hole in the ceiling, see?
214
00:06:14,247 --> 00:06:16,783
And then they got the umbrella under
it to drop the-- the plaster from--
215
00:06:16,883 --> 00:06:18,584
and I don't think that has anything to do with this.
216
00:06:18,685 --> 00:06:19,619
Right.
217
00:06:19,719 --> 00:06:20,553
Well, that's what I thought.
218
00:06:20,653 --> 00:06:21,554
Give me the umbrella.
219
00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:23,089
What are you going to do?
220
00:06:23,189 --> 00:06:26,125
Well, if this is just stuck, I may be
able to loosen it with the umbrella.
221
00:06:26,225 --> 00:06:27,026
Rob.
222
00:06:27,126 --> 00:06:30,930
That's not going--
[glass shatters]
223
00:06:31,731 --> 00:06:32,732
It worked.
224
00:06:32,832 --> 00:06:34,133
Don't panic.
225
00:06:34,233 --> 00:06:36,102
You, uh, folks looking for something?
226
00:06:36,202 --> 00:06:37,070
Oh.
227
00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:38,104
Hi, Mac.
228
00:06:42,909 --> 00:06:43,977
Mac.
229
00:06:44,077 --> 00:06:45,311
Oh, I don't believe you've met my wife, Laura.
230
00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:46,612
Mac, this is my wife, Laura.
231
00:06:46,713 --> 00:06:48,381
Laura, this is my-- my night watchman, Mac.
232
00:06:48,481 --> 00:06:49,615
He's the-- he's the night watchman.
233
00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:50,516
Yeah.
234
00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:51,784
Glad to know you, ma'am.
235
00:06:51,884 --> 00:06:53,553
It certainly is an unexpected pleasure.
236
00:06:53,653 --> 00:06:54,620
Yeah.
237
00:06:54,721 --> 00:06:56,856
I guess you're-- you're
wondering what we're doing here.
238
00:06:56,956 --> 00:06:58,992
Trying to break into Mr. Brady's office?
239
00:06:59,092 --> 00:07:01,327
Well, like I told you on the
phone, we left something in there.
240
00:07:01,427 --> 00:07:02,228
His umbrella.
241
00:07:02,328 --> 00:07:03,229
Yeah.
242
00:07:03,329 --> 00:07:04,764
It fell through the transom.
243
00:07:04,864 --> 00:07:07,633
It looks more like it was pushed through.
244
00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:09,636
Uh, Mac, I'm going to level with you.
245
00:07:09,736 --> 00:07:12,638
Mac, you know, I told you that we had-- well, there's
something in there that's very important to us.
246
00:07:12,739 --> 00:07:13,773
Yeah. What?
247
00:07:13,873 --> 00:07:15,475
- Well, it's-- it's uh-- - His coat.
248
00:07:15,575 --> 00:07:16,242
Envelope. LAURA: Tickets.
249
00:07:16,342 --> 00:07:17,410
That's right.
250
00:07:17,510 --> 00:07:18,544
Well, now, which one is it?
251
00:07:18,644 --> 00:07:20,146
Well, all of them.
252
00:07:20,246 --> 00:07:21,981
I had tickets in an envelope in my coat, and I forgot the coat.
253
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:23,149
See. We're going to a show tonight.
254
00:07:23,249 --> 00:07:24,450
Alan gave us opening night tickets.
255
00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:25,651
Yeah, well, he offered me those.
256
00:07:25,752 --> 00:07:26,586
He did?
257
00:07:26,686 --> 00:07:27,587
Yes, but I couldn't go.
258
00:07:27,687 --> 00:07:28,921
See, I'm working tonight.
259
00:07:29,022 --> 00:07:30,490
So I told him to give them to somebody else.
260
00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:32,392
I'm glad you folks got them.
261
00:07:32,492 --> 00:07:33,793
Well, thanks a lot. See.
262
00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:34,927
We forgot to pick them up.
263
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:35,995
Oh.
264
00:07:36,095 --> 00:07:38,564
Oh, well, then you-- you just want to
get into the secretary's office. - Yeah.
265
00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:39,732
Yeah. Yeah.
266
00:07:39,832 --> 00:07:40,400
Not into Mr Brady's private office.
267
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,801
No.
268
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:42,802
Well, why didn't you say that when you called?
269
00:07:42,902 --> 00:07:43,770
I just thought of it.
270
00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:46,339
I mean, no, I-- I should have.
Yeah.
271
00:07:46,439 --> 00:07:47,540
Uh-huh.
272
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,675
Well, I guess there's no harm letting
you in the secretary's office.
273
00:07:49,776 --> 00:07:50,576
She's not a star.
274
00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:52,445
[nervous laughter]
275
00:07:52,545 --> 00:07:53,613
My, he does come up with them.
276
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:55,648
Doesn't he?
277
00:07:55,748 --> 00:07:56,582
There.
278
00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:57,784
There, you go.
279
00:07:57,884 --> 00:07:58,985
Oh, we really appreciate this, Mac.
280
00:07:59,085 --> 00:07:59,752
Listen.
281
00:07:59,852 --> 00:08:01,087
We'll pay for the transom.
282
00:08:01,187 --> 00:08:02,455
Would you mind locking up when you get through?
283
00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,356
Oh, not at all, Mac.
284
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:04,724
Well, that's fine.
285
00:08:04,824 --> 00:08:05,758
And look here.
286
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:07,160
And don't do any more mischief.
287
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,327
We won't, Mac.
288
00:08:08,428 --> 00:08:09,262
Thanks a lot.
289
00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:10,329
Thanks a lot.
290
00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:12,031
[glass clatters]
291
00:08:12,131 --> 00:08:12,765
Oh.
292
00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:15,368
Turn on the light.
293
00:08:15,468 --> 00:08:16,669
Shut the door, Buddy.
294
00:08:16,769 --> 00:08:19,739
Oh, quick thinking, oh, Prince of Thieves.
295
00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:21,340
It's locked.
296
00:08:21,441 --> 00:08:23,342
Well, do you expect there to be a big flash coming in here?
297
00:08:23,443 --> 00:08:25,178
I just thought maybe Alan forgot to lock it.
298
00:08:25,278 --> 00:08:25,912
No.
299
00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:27,046
Alan never forgets.
300
00:08:27,146 --> 00:08:28,347
Especially people who insult him.
301
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:29,849
Well, why would he lock the inside door?
302
00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:31,217
Nobody can get in here.
303
00:08:31,317 --> 00:08:33,186
Rob, we're here.
304
00:08:33,286 --> 00:08:34,187
Oh yeah.
305
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:35,321
It's too bad there's not a transom.
306
00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:37,323
We're pretty good at that.
307
00:08:37,423 --> 00:08:38,624
Alan's secretary.
308
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:41,594
I bet there's a key in her desk somewhere.
309
00:08:41,694 --> 00:08:42,995
It's locked.
310
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:43,930
Yeah.
311
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:44,831
I bet the key's in Alan's office.
312
00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:46,099
Hey, look.
313
00:08:46,199 --> 00:08:47,300
Alan didn't come back after his haircut.
314
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,901
He called and left a message for Mel.
315
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:50,470
Then the script is still locked in there.
316
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:51,504
Yeah.
317
00:08:51,604 --> 00:08:52,839
And we're still locked out here.
318
00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:54,740
But at least we know he hasn't seen it yet.
319
00:08:54,841 --> 00:08:57,577
But we also know he'll see it in the morning.
320
00:08:57,677 --> 00:08:59,011
We've got to get in there.
321
00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:02,915
Oh, Rob, this doesn't seem right after he gave
us theater tickets and everything to just
322
00:09:03,015 --> 00:09:04,917
break right into his office.
323
00:09:05,017 --> 00:09:08,988
Honey, the only reason we got the theater tickets
was because the night watchman didn't want them.
324
00:09:09,088 --> 00:09:09,689
Hello.
325
00:09:09,789 --> 00:09:11,491
What's new, Rob?
326
00:09:11,591 --> 00:09:12,492
What's this?
327
00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:14,093
Well, I think it's a wall.
328
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,863
It's one of the things that's keeping us from Alan's office.
329
00:09:16,963 --> 00:09:18,064
It's a door.
330
00:09:18,164 --> 00:09:21,300
Oh, that's how he gets the girls in.
331
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,368
No.
332
00:09:22,468 --> 00:09:23,736
This is the back of the television set.
333
00:09:23,836 --> 00:09:24,971
That's how they service it. - Yeah.
334
00:09:25,071 --> 00:09:26,038
It's also how they steal it. It's gone.
335
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:27,373
You better call the police.
336
00:09:27,473 --> 00:09:28,808
Right.
337
00:09:28,908 --> 00:09:30,443
Who do we tell them we are, friends of the thieves?
338
00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,278
Remember he said he lost his vertical hold?
339
00:09:32,378 --> 00:09:33,412
It's being fixed.
340
00:09:33,513 --> 00:09:34,580
Oh, I thought he was talking about his wife.
341
00:09:37,884 --> 00:09:39,418
Hey, I can see the whole office.
342
00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:41,087
SALLY: Hey, Rob, do you see the script?
343
00:09:41,187 --> 00:09:41,888
No.
344
00:09:41,988 --> 00:09:43,823
But it's in there somewhere.
345
00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:46,092
Hey, you know, I can crawl through there.
346
00:09:46,192 --> 00:09:50,763
I can go right down there and out
those cabinets into the office.
347
00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:52,932
I see dark down there.
348
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,934
Rob, how do you see dark?
349
00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:58,604
Honey, I see dark, but I see lighter patches of dark.
350
00:09:58,704 --> 00:10:01,407
There must be a whole passageway all through this wall.
351
00:10:01,507 --> 00:10:02,542
I can crawl through there.
352
00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:03,876
Wait, a minute, Robert.
353
00:10:03,976 --> 00:10:05,378
What do you think you are, the Green Hornet?
354
00:10:05,478 --> 00:10:07,980
Rob, I absolutely forbid you to crawl through there.
355
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,515
You can't holler at the Green Hornet.
356
00:10:09,615 --> 00:10:11,450
I can at the Green Klutz.
357
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:12,785
He'll kill himself.
358
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:14,287
Well, I think it's worth it.
359
00:10:14,387 --> 00:10:15,555
Yeah.
360
00:10:15,655 --> 00:10:19,525
You know, he's got a whole wall of built-in gadgets,
the TV, the stereo, hi-fi bar, and everything.
361
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:20,593
Yeah. And the secretary.
362
00:10:20,693 --> 00:10:21,460
Yeah. But she's not built-in.
363
00:10:21,561 --> 00:10:22,361
She's just built.
364
00:10:22,461 --> 00:10:24,197
Oh, shut up.
365
00:10:24,297 --> 00:10:26,766
All I've got to do is take a left right there.
366
00:10:26,866 --> 00:10:30,670
Go straight on past the tape recorder,
up over the bookcases, and out the bar.
367
00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,705
Oh, Rob, this is getting crazy.
368
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:36,642
Oh, Laura, with an attitude like that the
Count of Monte Cristo would still be in jail.
369
00:10:36,742 --> 00:10:37,643
LAURA: Rob, be careful.
370
00:10:37,743 --> 00:10:39,879
It's so narrow in there.
371
00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:53,125
ROB: Ow.
372
00:10:53,226 --> 00:10:53,960
What?
373
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:55,428
ROB: I tore my shirt on a nail.
374
00:10:55,528 --> 00:10:56,229
Don't worry about it.
375
00:10:56,329 --> 00:10:57,263
I'll get you another shirt.
376
00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:58,331
Will you get him another arm?
377
00:10:58,431 --> 00:10:59,432
No.
378
00:10:59,532 --> 00:11:00,733
My policy only covers shirts and clothing.
379
00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:01,934
Oh.
380
00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:10,042
[glass shatters]
381
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:12,311
I didn't know I had claustrophobia.
382
00:11:24,857 --> 00:11:26,058
[clink]
383
00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:33,165
(STRUGGLING) I think I can make it.
384
00:11:35,835 --> 00:11:37,069
[glass shatters]
385
00:11:37,169 --> 00:11:38,304
Oh, Rob, get out of there.
386
00:11:38,404 --> 00:11:39,505
I don't know about you guys.
387
00:11:39,605 --> 00:11:40,406
I'm getting out of here.
388
00:11:40,506 --> 00:11:41,607
ROB: Just don't leave.
389
00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:42,675
Don't leave.
390
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,385
[thud]
391
00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:55,054
[music playing]
392
00:11:56,222 --> 00:11:58,924
LAURA: Rob, do I hear music?
393
00:11:59,025 --> 00:12:00,326
It's the apricot brandy.
394
00:12:33,693 --> 00:12:34,827
All right.
395
00:12:34,927 --> 00:12:37,663
I feel like a dirty Douglas Fairbanks.
396
00:12:37,763 --> 00:12:38,631
LAURA: Rob.
397
00:12:38,731 --> 00:12:39,532
What?
398
00:12:39,632 --> 00:12:40,833
I found the key.
399
00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:43,669
What?
400
00:12:43,769 --> 00:12:45,971
Rob.
401
00:12:46,072 --> 00:12:46,939
Sorry.
402
00:12:47,039 --> 00:12:49,208
Oh.
403
00:12:49,308 --> 00:12:51,477
Where-- where'd you find the key?
404
00:12:51,577 --> 00:12:55,281
Well, I know how some people hide keys, so I
figured that Alan might be one of those people.
405
00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:56,849
Anyway, I looked right above the door.
406
00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:58,417
And there it was.
407
00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,986
Well, we're going to fire you and make her the mastermind.
408
00:13:01,087 --> 00:13:02,621
Well, I got one last master plan.
409
00:13:02,722 --> 00:13:04,256
Let's switch those scripts and get out of here.
410
00:13:04,357 --> 00:13:05,591
All right. Hey, look.
411
00:13:05,691 --> 00:13:07,059
Take this one. Here's the script we fixed up.
412
00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:08,661
We've got to find Alan's copy first.
413
00:13:08,761 --> 00:13:09,662
It's not here.
414
00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:11,964
It must be here somewhere.
415
00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:13,232
And here is locked.
416
00:13:13,332 --> 00:13:15,868
Rob, you can't break into a man's desk.
417
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:18,304
We just broke into a man's office.
418
00:13:18,404 --> 00:13:19,872
- Somebody's coming. - Hide.
419
00:13:19,972 --> 00:13:20,740
Hide. Hide.
420
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:21,507
Turn off the light.
421
00:13:21,607 --> 00:13:22,541
Get the door.
422
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:23,275
Oh, the bottle.
423
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:25,911
He'll see the bottle.
424
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,114
[music playing]
425
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:32,451
It's just us.
426
00:13:32,551 --> 00:13:33,953
- Rob! - Mel!
427
00:13:34,053 --> 00:13:35,154
- Mel? - Laura!
428
00:13:35,254 --> 00:13:36,555
- Mel. - Sally!
429
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:37,456
Mel.
430
00:13:37,556 --> 00:13:38,491
Yuck.
431
00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:43,129
What are you doing here?
432
00:13:43,229 --> 00:13:45,331
Well, uh, we were working late, Mel.
433
00:13:45,431 --> 00:13:47,500
And we-- Alan gave us tickets to a show.
434
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,035
And we-- We came back by
because we heard a tune.
435
00:13:50,136 --> 00:13:51,637
I wanted to make sure it was "How Dry I Am."
436
00:13:51,737 --> 00:13:53,572
You were right, Rob. (HUMMING) Da, da, da, da, da.
437
00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:54,240
Come on. Let's go.
438
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,274
Mel, wait a minute.
439
00:13:55,374 --> 00:13:56,776
What are you doing here?
440
00:13:56,876 --> 00:14:02,815
Oh, well, I-- I was having dinner, and I just
happened to be walking by Al-- I caught you.
441
00:14:02,915 --> 00:14:04,617
I get to ask the questions.
442
00:14:04,717 --> 00:14:05,818
Look.
443
00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:07,720
Just give your name, rank, and unemployment number.
444
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:09,121
MEL: I know why you're here.
445
00:14:09,221 --> 00:14:11,123
It's the horrible things you wrote in that script.
446
00:14:11,223 --> 00:14:12,425
How'd you find out about it now, Mel?
447
00:14:12,525 --> 00:14:14,360
I just read it not a half an hour ago.
448
00:14:14,460 --> 00:14:15,628
Well, then, it's all right.
449
00:14:15,728 --> 00:14:16,962
Mel had the other copy.
450
00:14:17,063 --> 00:14:19,365
Hey, I bet if we rush, we can still catch the first act.
451
00:14:19,465 --> 00:14:20,332
No. We only made three copies.
452
00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:24,270
One for us, one for Mel-- And one for
the little boy who screams down the lane.
453
00:14:24,370 --> 00:14:25,104
OK.
454
00:14:25,204 --> 00:14:26,472
So now we know why we're here?
455
00:14:26,572 --> 00:14:28,040
How come you're in Happy Hollow?
456
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:30,609
I came to get the script before Alan read it.
457
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,812
Mel, you were going to cover for us?
458
00:14:32,912 --> 00:14:36,715
Mel, I take back every rotten thing I ever said about you.
459
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:39,985
Well, my motives were not completely humanitarian.
460
00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:44,523
If Alan reads that, he could fire you,
but he'd hold me over for torture.
461
00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:47,226
Well, I guess I take back everything I just took back.
462
00:14:47,326 --> 00:14:49,428
Well, hey, we're all here for the same reason, right?
463
00:14:49,528 --> 00:14:50,463
Survival.
464
00:14:50,563 --> 00:14:53,132
So let's get out of
here and get the-- Rob.
465
00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:53,866
What we have to do is get this drawer.
466
00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:54,867
Rob.
467
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:56,402
Rob. Rob.
468
00:14:56,502 --> 00:14:57,403
Rob.
469
00:14:57,503 --> 00:14:59,104
Oh, another job well done by your FBI.
470
00:14:59,205 --> 00:15:00,439
Why did you break his desk?
471
00:15:00,539 --> 00:15:02,041
How else do you get into a locked drawer?
472
00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:05,244
Well, Rob, I was offering you the key.
473
00:15:05,344 --> 00:15:07,880
Mel, why didn't you offer it a little louder?
474
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,315
Because he's stupid.
475
00:15:09,415 --> 00:15:10,850
Never mind. I'm sorry.
476
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:11,951
Script's not here.
477
00:15:12,051 --> 00:15:13,018
Well, it has to be.
478
00:15:13,118 --> 00:15:14,253
It has to be.
479
00:15:14,353 --> 00:15:15,488
He must have taken it home with him.
480
00:15:15,588 --> 00:15:18,724
Then you mean we brought the transom
and the desk for nothing? - Yeah.
481
00:15:18,824 --> 00:15:21,961
But if he took it home, he would have read
it, and we would have been fired by now.
482
00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:24,096
So he couldn't have taken it home.
483
00:15:24,196 --> 00:15:25,331
Then where can it be?
484
00:15:25,431 --> 00:15:26,899
Alan took it home.
485
00:15:26,999 --> 00:15:28,868
But the note said he wasn't going back to the office, Mel.
486
00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:30,402
Maybe he had it delivered.
487
00:15:30,503 --> 00:15:32,071
- That's it. - You think so?
488
00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:33,005
I know so.
489
00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:35,441
I delivered it.
490
00:15:35,541 --> 00:15:37,643
Why didn't you tell us you delivered it, stupid?
491
00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:42,181
His secretary gave me a package to give
to him, and I'll bet the script was in it.
492
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:46,719
Boy, even when you don't know what
you're doing, it comes out dumb.
493
00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:47,820
OK. OK.
494
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,421
How come we haven't heard any screaming yet?
495
00:15:49,522 --> 00:15:53,626
Because when I got to his house, Alan was leaving
to go to a party, so he hasn't read it yet.
496
00:15:53,726 --> 00:15:55,494
So it's all over.
497
00:15:55,594 --> 00:15:56,962
There may be one chance.
498
00:15:57,062 --> 00:16:00,032
Oh, yes, my husband can always break into Alan's house.
499
00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:00,933
Exactly.
500
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:02,401
I won't let him.
501
00:16:02,501 --> 00:16:04,069
Honey, I don't think that's for you to say.
502
00:16:04,169 --> 00:16:05,437
Rob, somebody has to say it.
503
00:16:05,538 --> 00:16:06,672
Well, right. Me.
504
00:16:06,772 --> 00:16:08,574
Look, Mel. I'm not going to do it.
505
00:16:08,674 --> 00:16:09,308
But now, look.
506
00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:10,476
It's not a burglary.
507
00:16:10,576 --> 00:16:12,778
After all, Alan's my brother-in-law.
508
00:16:12,878 --> 00:16:14,313
My sister's married to him.
509
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:17,683
Well, now that we've mastered the theory of relativity.
510
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:20,786
Mel, since you are a relative, why don't you do it yourself?
511
00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:21,787
All right.
512
00:16:21,887 --> 00:16:22,655
I'll do it on one condition.
513
00:16:22,755 --> 00:16:23,389
SALLY AND ROB: What?
514
00:16:23,489 --> 00:16:24,323
You all go with me.
515
00:16:24,423 --> 00:16:26,225
You can't be serious.
516
00:16:26,325 --> 00:16:28,227
You ca-- to break into a man's house.
517
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,628
Well, that's dishonest.
518
00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:32,197
It's illegal, and the maid's bound to catch us.
519
00:16:32,298 --> 00:16:33,699
No, her room is upstairs.
520
00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:35,167
Rob, I think you ought to do it.
521
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,835
Rob, that's real burglary.
522
00:16:36,936 --> 00:16:43,609
It's my sister's house, and I'm welcome
there any time that Alan's not home.
523
00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:44,743
Laura's right.
524
00:16:44,843 --> 00:16:48,080
I mean, we work here, but breaking
into Alan's house, that's not right.
525
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,582
I'll take full responsibility.
526
00:16:49,682 --> 00:16:51,684
All we have to do is go to Alan's house.
527
00:16:51,784 --> 00:16:52,585
Look around.
528
00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:53,319
Find the script.
529
00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:54,353
What could be easier?
530
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:55,888
How do we get in?
531
00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:57,456
Very simple.
532
00:16:57,556 --> 00:17:01,327
You simply climb a simple vine up
to a simple second story window.
533
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,343
Simple vine.
534
00:17:17,443 --> 00:17:18,544
Simple thorns.
535
00:17:22,615 --> 00:17:25,618
I didn't know I had a fear of heights.
536
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:27,653
LAURA: Rob, we found the key.
537
00:17:27,753 --> 00:17:28,687
What?
538
00:17:32,858 --> 00:17:35,761
Oh, Rob, are you OK?
539
00:17:35,861 --> 00:17:36,829
No.
540
00:17:36,929 --> 00:17:38,364
I thought you said you didn't have a key.
541
00:17:38,464 --> 00:17:39,531
It didn't.
542
00:17:39,632 --> 00:17:41,000
It wasn't on the doorjamb.
543
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,202
No, it was under the mat.
544
00:17:43,302 --> 00:17:44,270
All right.
545
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:45,804
New rules now.
546
00:17:45,904 --> 00:17:48,741
From now on, when I risk my life to break into a house,
547
00:17:48,841 --> 00:17:52,411
let me open the door if you have to swallow the key.
548
00:17:52,511 --> 00:17:54,213
I don't want to see any more keys tonight.
549
00:17:54,313 --> 00:17:55,614
Swallow them. - Let's get out here.
550
00:17:55,714 --> 00:17:57,082
This place gives me the creeps. - Sure.
551
00:17:57,182 --> 00:17:58,283
A creep lives here.
552
00:17:58,384 --> 00:18:00,519
Rob, please, I really don't like this.
553
00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:01,920
You shouldn't be here.
554
00:18:02,021 --> 00:18:03,055
Where should I be?
555
00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,657
In the car with the motor running?
556
00:18:04,757 --> 00:18:06,125
There's nothing to worry about.
557
00:18:06,225 --> 00:18:09,094
Alan and my sister won't be home till after midnight.
558
00:18:09,194 --> 00:18:10,362
There's nothing here.
559
00:18:10,462 --> 00:18:12,998
He always reads right here at this desk.
560
00:18:13,098 --> 00:18:13,932
Oh no.
561
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:14,967
Do you have a key, Mel?
562
00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:17,202
It may not be locked.
563
00:18:17,302 --> 00:18:19,705
Oh.
564
00:18:19,805 --> 00:18:22,541
(WHISPERING) Everybody just keep quiet and let me look.
565
00:18:32,918 --> 00:18:34,219
I found the script.
566
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,021
The last one out of here is dumbbell.
567
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:38,657
Shh.
568
00:18:38,757 --> 00:18:41,026
Rob, he's a very sound sleeper.
569
00:18:41,126 --> 00:18:42,961
Maybe we can switch the script.
570
00:18:43,062 --> 00:18:45,030
We're in luck.
571
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:46,398
He's only on page four.
572
00:18:46,498 --> 00:18:48,500
The first rotten remark's on page six.
573
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:49,802
You think we ought to chance it?
574
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:50,569
We have to.
575
00:18:50,669 --> 00:18:51,570
Give me the other script.
576
00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:52,871
I'll try to make the switch.
577
00:18:52,971 --> 00:18:55,240
Rob, you can't do it without waking him.
578
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:56,408
Hey, Rob. She's right.
579
00:18:56,508 --> 00:18:57,609
Let's kill him.
580
00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:03,015
He's liable to wake up.
581
00:19:03,115 --> 00:19:05,017
There's no sense in us all getting caught.
582
00:19:05,117 --> 00:19:06,085
Why don't you wait outside?
583
00:19:06,185 --> 00:19:07,553
What's the difference?
584
00:19:07,653 --> 00:19:10,089
If he wakes up and we're caught here,
whether we're here or we're not?
585
00:19:15,094 --> 00:19:18,163
[moaning] Lillian?
586
00:19:18,263 --> 00:19:20,466
Lillian, is that you, Lillian?
587
00:19:20,566 --> 00:19:21,734
(FEMININE VOICE) Yes, Alan.
588
00:19:24,603 --> 00:19:27,172
Give us-- give us a good night kiss, Lillian.
589
00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:33,612
Kiss.
590
00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:35,414
Kiss.
591
00:19:35,514 --> 00:19:36,682
Kiss, Lillian.
592
00:19:42,454 --> 00:19:44,890
Thank you, Lillian.
593
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:46,792
Aren't you going to say good night?
594
00:19:46,892 --> 00:19:49,094
(FEMININE VOICE) Good night, Alan.
595
00:19:49,194 --> 00:19:50,396
Good night, Rob.
596
00:19:50,496 --> 00:19:53,599
You're awake.
597
00:19:53,699 --> 00:19:55,868
Did somebody just kiss me, or am I dreaming?
598
00:19:55,968 --> 00:19:56,568
It was a dream.
599
00:19:56,668 --> 00:19:58,570
It was a dream, Alan.
600
00:19:58,670 --> 00:19:59,905
Is that you, Laura?
601
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:01,039
Gosh.
602
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:02,875
We sure didn't expect to run into you, Alan.
603
00:20:02,975 --> 00:20:03,609
Yeah.
604
00:20:03,709 --> 00:20:04,510
The party was rotten.
605
00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:05,944
So I came home early.
606
00:20:06,044 --> 00:20:07,212
Oh, that's a shame.
607
00:20:07,312 --> 00:20:08,981
ROB: You're probably wondering what we're doing here.
608
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:11,216
We just wanted to find out if you enjoyed the party, Alan.
609
00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:12,484
- Yeah. - Yeah.
610
00:20:12,584 --> 00:20:14,052
It-- it was Rob's idea.
611
00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:19,725
Was it also Rob's idea to switch the scripts?
612
00:20:19,825 --> 00:20:22,161
Well, Alan, we felt a little bad about that first sketch.
613
00:20:22,261 --> 00:20:23,262
We made some changes in it.
614
00:20:23,362 --> 00:20:24,530
- You did, huh? - Yeah.
615
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:25,764
We put in a lot of new jokes and stuff.
616
00:20:25,864 --> 00:20:27,966
Oh, boy, real funny stuff, Alan.
617
00:20:28,066 --> 00:20:30,936
Well, that first script had pretty funny stuff in it.
618
00:20:31,036 --> 00:20:32,171
Bald-headed fink.
619
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:33,438
That's pretty funny.
620
00:20:33,539 --> 00:20:34,406
Alan, excuse me.
621
00:20:34,506 --> 00:20:35,340
I'm going to be sick.
622
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,442
ALAN: No, you won't.
623
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,343
Come back here.
624
00:20:38,444 --> 00:20:40,379
SALLY: You, uh, read the script, huh, Alan?
625
00:20:40,479 --> 00:20:43,649
Well, I was going through it the
second time when I fell asleep.
626
00:20:43,749 --> 00:20:47,085
Well, Alan, you know, all those we put
in there, we-- we didn't mean them.
627
00:20:47,186 --> 00:20:47,986
Yes, you did.
628
00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:49,388
Yeah, we did.
629
00:20:49,488 --> 00:20:52,958
Alan, when they wrote those things
they were very tired and upset.
630
00:20:53,058 --> 00:20:55,027
And anyway, you know they're very good writers.
631
00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:58,797
All writers are rotten, but I like loyalty in a wife.
632
00:20:58,897 --> 00:21:00,065
OK, Alan, let's have it.
633
00:21:00,165 --> 00:21:01,066
Have what?
634
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:01,967
The yelling and screaming.
635
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,068
SALLY: And the firing.
636
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:07,039
Hey, chicky-poos, you think the
shepherd would do that to his flock?
637
00:21:07,139 --> 00:21:09,541
Alan, you mean you read the script, and you're not mad.
638
00:21:09,641 --> 00:21:10,576
Do I look mad?
639
00:21:10,676 --> 00:21:11,510
No, you don't.
640
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:12,411
You look almost happy.
641
00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:13,345
Yeah.
642
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:14,313
That's our shepherd.
643
00:21:14,413 --> 00:21:15,214
Shut up, Mel.
644
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:17,816
Yes, sir.
645
00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:19,718
Well, I thought you'd be furious.
646
00:21:19,818 --> 00:21:21,253
Oh, I am. I am.
647
00:21:21,353 --> 00:21:22,654
ROB: Well, you don't look it.
648
00:21:22,754 --> 00:21:27,392
Well, on two tranquilizers and a sleeping
pill this is as furious as you can get.
649
00:21:27,493 --> 00:21:29,695
Oh, by morning I'll be my old self again.
650
00:21:29,795 --> 00:21:34,366
Then will come the screaming and the yelling
and the firing, and all the rest of that fun.
651
00:21:34,466 --> 00:21:36,168
Hey, you look nice, Laura.
652
00:21:36,268 --> 00:21:37,202
You look nice too.
653
00:21:37,302 --> 00:21:39,972
You stink.
654
00:21:40,072 --> 00:21:42,374
Tomorrow morning, I'll kill you all.
655
00:21:42,474 --> 00:21:45,277
Night.
656
00:21:45,377 --> 00:21:46,211
Wait a minute.
657
00:21:46,311 --> 00:21:47,246
Wait a minute.
658
00:21:47,346 --> 00:21:49,181
He's not going to kill anybody.
659
00:21:49,281 --> 00:21:50,115
Somebody grab Mel.
660
00:21:50,215 --> 00:21:51,116
I think he's flipping.
661
00:21:53,485 --> 00:21:55,854
He's not going to fire anybody either.
662
00:21:55,954 --> 00:21:57,322
I told you he needed hair.
663
00:21:57,422 --> 00:22:00,158
His brain's catching cold.
664
00:22:00,259 --> 00:22:03,295
Do you remember what he said when we thought he was asleep?
665
00:22:03,395 --> 00:22:04,796
He said, kiss me, Lillian.
666
00:22:04,897 --> 00:22:06,365
He said, kiss me, Lillian.
667
00:22:06,465 --> 00:22:09,968
His wife's name is Margaret.
668
00:22:10,068 --> 00:22:13,272
Mel, you wouldn't blackmail your own brother-in-law.
669
00:22:25,284 --> 00:22:26,785
ROB: They are not in my pockets.
670
00:22:26,885 --> 00:22:28,186
They are in the office.
671
00:22:28,287 --> 00:22:29,821
LAURA: Why didn't you get Buddy and Sally's keys?
672
00:22:29,922 --> 00:22:32,591
Because I didn't know mine were
missing till we got down to the car.
673
00:22:32,691 --> 00:22:34,526
LAURA: Well, Rob, don't break the door down.
674
00:22:34,626 --> 00:22:35,894
ROB: I have to.
675
00:22:35,994 --> 00:22:38,030
LAURA: Maybe the night watchman will come back.
676
00:22:38,130 --> 00:22:40,165
ROB: You want to sit here till 4 o'clock in the morning?
677
00:22:40,265 --> 00:22:41,066
Get out of the way.
678
00:22:41,166 --> 00:22:41,900
LAURA: Oh, Rob, please.
679
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,602
ROB: Honey, we need the keys.
680
00:22:43,702 --> 00:22:45,103
[running footsteps]
681
00:22:45,203 --> 00:22:46,471
[thud]
682
00:22:46,571 --> 00:22:47,739
Ah!
683
00:22:47,839 --> 00:22:49,541
LAURA: Rob, you're going to kill yourself.
684
00:22:49,641 --> 00:22:51,677
ROB: I'll get it this time.
685
00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:54,279
[running footsteps]
686
00:22:57,149 --> 00:22:57,816
Hi, Mac.
687
00:22:57,916 --> 00:22:59,651
Did you see my keys?
688
00:22:59,751 --> 00:23:01,453
Put the door right there.
689
00:23:01,553 --> 00:23:05,590
I'll have the boys take care of that when they fix the transom.
690
00:23:05,691 --> 00:23:08,126
Now, what'd you ask me?
691
00:23:08,226 --> 00:23:09,127
Did you see my keys?
692
00:23:09,227 --> 00:23:10,329
Keys?
693
00:23:10,429 --> 00:23:12,097
Oh, yes, I found a set of keys near the elevator.
694
00:23:12,197 --> 00:23:14,099
They had a little round screwdriver on the chain.
695
00:23:14,199 --> 00:23:15,100
Yeah. That's them.
696
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,335
Yeah. Well, I put them in my office.
697
00:23:16,435 --> 00:23:17,736
Oh, good. I'll go get them.
698
00:23:17,836 --> 00:23:18,770
Oh, just a minute.
699
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:19,805
I'll better go along.
700
00:23:19,905 --> 00:23:21,306
It's got an iron door.
701
00:23:21,406 --> 00:23:23,241
Oh.
702
00:23:23,342 --> 00:23:24,276
Put that on my bill, will you?
703
00:23:24,376 --> 00:23:25,711
Yes, now, let's see.
704
00:23:25,811 --> 00:23:27,279
What else was there? There's the transom.
705
00:23:27,379 --> 00:23:28,413
- Yeah. - The lock.
706
00:23:28,513 --> 00:23:30,582
Well, there's a drawer in Alan's--
well, just look around.
707
00:23:30,682 --> 00:23:31,783
There's a lot of stuff.
708
00:23:34,386 --> 00:23:39,758
[theme music]
49243
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.