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1
00:00:07,081 --> 00:00:09,892
Have you thought about
what you are going to do on the outside?
2
00:00:10,017 --> 00:00:13,491
Hmmmm
Let me put it this way,
3
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:16,798
once you get out
will there be any more of these?
4
00:00:16,924 --> 00:00:21,504
No, no. I'm through.
No more.
#No more impersonations.
5
00:00:21,628 --> 00:00:26,470
No,
enough is enough.
#I don't believe you.
6
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,213
Would I lie?
#I don't think you're necessarily lying.
7
00:00:30,337 --> 00:00:33,480
I don't think you're in
control of what you do or say.
8
00:00:33,607 --> 00:00:37,688
I think you behave
in complementarity.
#Okay.
9
00:00:37,811 --> 00:00:40,492
Do you know
what that means?
#No.
10
00:00:40,614 --> 00:00:43,028
That means you intuit
what another person needs
11
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:45,723
and then you become
that need.
12
00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:51,102
Like right now, you know my job
is to diagnose your neuroses.
13
00:00:51,224 --> 00:00:55,005
Neuroses are red,
neuroses are blue.
14
00:00:55,128 --> 00:00:57,577
[Street hears tormenting voices]
[Torment #1] Sit down...!
15
00:00:57,697 --> 00:00:59,601
[Torment #2]
Gotta be tight-!
[Torment #1] Shut up!
16
00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:00,804
[Torment #2]
For the first time tight-!
17
00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:03,075
[Street's Id]
Don't cross me...
18
00:01:03,202 --> 00:01:06,209
[Torment #2] As tight as the paint on these walls...!
[Street's Id] Look at him...
19
00:01:06,339 --> 00:01:08,845
The Chameleon
is about to confess.
20
00:01:08,975 --> 00:01:12,255
I think
therefore I scam.
21
00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,987
I think
the air is sweet.
22
00:01:15,114 --> 00:01:17,426
I know
not what I am.
23
00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:21,058
I am Chameleon Street.
24
00:01:21,187 --> 00:01:26,167
Autumn, 1978.
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is out.
25
00:01:26,292 --> 00:01:28,000
Mork and Mindy are in.
26
00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:31,133
Platform shoes and eight track
audio tapes are out.
27
00:01:31,264 --> 00:01:33,303
Weddings and walkmans are in.
28
00:01:33,432 --> 00:01:36,678
As for my wedding,
I got the whole thing on video.
29
00:01:36,802 --> 00:01:38,340
You can see it later.
30
00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,783
As for the Walkman,
people ask me all the time,
31
00:01:40,906 --> 00:01:43,176
what are you listening to?
I play the classics:
32
00:01:43,308 --> 00:01:47,762
Vivaldi, Hendrix, Debussy,
Sly Stone, Sex Pistols,
33
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,751
Ipso Facto.
It helps relieve the boredom
34
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:54,587
when I'm installing
burglar alarms with Curtis.
Likes that-!
35
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,664
Got that
good hair, too.
#You like what?
36
00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:03,602
I like girls with that
light complexion look.
#Oh man, you're a moron.
37
00:02:03,728 --> 00:02:07,540
I can't help it.
#What, being a moron?
38
00:02:07,665 --> 00:02:09,078
Yeah, that too.
39
00:02:12,037 --> 00:02:15,619
You're the first one
out there with a dashiki talking that crap.
40
00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:17,844
I'm a victim.
#Good hair.
41
00:02:17,975 --> 00:02:21,018
Nigger,
you're so brainwashed.
#I'm a victim, brother.
42
00:02:21,145 --> 00:02:23,223
That's your problem.
#You're a victim.
43
00:02:23,348 --> 00:02:26,624
- Yeah.
- Shut up.
#I'm a victim of 400 years of conditioning.
44
00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:30,160
Shut up.
#The man has programmed my conditioning.
45
00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,892
Mmm-hmmm.
#Even my conditioning has been conditioned.
46
00:02:33,024 --> 00:02:36,739
[chuckles]
But you know how eventually conditioned hair
47
00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:39,667
will go back to kink.
#Meaning what?
48
00:02:39,797 --> 00:02:43,202
Eventually you're going to end
up dating a dark-skinned girl?
#I didn't say that.
49
00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:47,545
But I would think about it.
#No, but really, man, she is fine.
50
00:02:51,075 --> 00:02:52,453
You depress me.
51
00:02:54,445 --> 00:02:58,093
What is taking so long?
#Why don't you blow the horn?
52
00:02:58,215 --> 00:03:00,796
Yeah, right.
#And for the rest of the day all I'm gonna hear is,
53
00:03:00,917 --> 00:03:03,464
"what'd you blow the horn
like that
when I'm taking care of business?"
54
00:03:05,456 --> 00:03:10,431
We got somebody new
he's gonna hire.
#What, that white boy?
55
00:03:10,561 --> 00:03:12,802
Rick.
- Oh, great. - Rick.
56
00:03:12,929 --> 00:03:15,409
When you meet him
I hope you don't say,
well, hello white boy.
57
00:03:15,532 --> 00:03:19,172
Just say hello Rick.
#Hey, man, I thought this was an all black thing.
58
00:03:19,303 --> 00:03:21,615
So did you all have
a honeymoon, man?
59
00:03:21,738 --> 00:03:24,745
No, we had
a moneymoon.
60
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,016
A moneymoon!
What's that?
61
00:03:27,143 --> 00:03:31,459
A moneymoon is where instead
of getting your own place
62
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,358
and traveling somewhere
far away,
63
00:03:33,483 --> 00:03:37,594
you stay at my parents' house
and travel over to the mall
64
00:03:37,721 --> 00:03:41,501
and open charge accounts
at Neiman-Marcus,
Bonwit Tellers and Saks Fifth Avenue.
65
00:03:41,624 --> 00:03:45,072
A moneymoon.
[Laughs]
[blows the horn]
66
00:03:45,195 --> 00:03:48,271
Great.
Thanks for making my day.
- Thank you. - What?
67
00:03:48,398 --> 00:03:51,335
What'd you blow the horn
like that for?
#What?!
68
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,981
Now...
#Aw, man- he ain't gonna say nothin.
69
00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:58,352
Yeah, I'll bet.
#Five dollars say he don't say squat.
70
00:03:58,474 --> 00:04:01,516
Bet.
#You're on.
71
00:04:01,644 --> 00:04:06,082
Lay it up. Lay it UP-
Lay it up.
#My money's good.
72
00:04:06,216 --> 00:04:09,231
That's okay.
#You're gonna be askin' me for lunch money today, buddy.
73
00:04:15,224 --> 00:04:19,140
Oh, I need some money Curtis.
#Yeah. Everybody needs money.
74
00:04:19,261 --> 00:04:22,302
I need some money.
75
00:04:22,431 --> 00:04:24,470
Man, there's lots of ways
to make money.
76
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,481
You need to start taking
advantage of your opportunities.
77
00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:32,014
I mean, you could
sell your blood.
#Sell my blood?
78
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,884
Right.
#Eight dollars a pint.
79
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,887
Sell my blood?
#Man...
80
00:04:37,012 --> 00:04:39,059
The blood bank.
#Sell my blood.
81
00:04:39,181 --> 00:04:41,690
I'll never get that low.
#I've done it.
82
00:04:41,816 --> 00:04:45,127
Yeah, like that's
some criteria.
#You drink sterno.
83
00:04:45,254 --> 00:04:47,202
Working for my father's
burglar alarm company
84
00:04:47,322 --> 00:04:52,401
was like earning slave wages
in the ninth circle of hell.
85
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:55,875
We spend all our time making
cheap bets with chump change.
86
00:04:55,997 --> 00:04:57,842
I don't know who
was more predictable,
87
00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:02,818
the J-O-B or my D-A-D.
88
00:05:02,937 --> 00:05:06,317
Here he comes.
#Why don't you give me the money right now?
89
00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:08,285
Watch.
90
00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:15,857
What'd you blow the horn
like that for
while I'm taking care of business?
91
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,300
Thank you.
#Yeah.
92
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,465
I married Gabrielle
in the spring of 1978
93
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:30,070
when the dogwood
was in blossom.
Speaking of dogs,
94
00:05:30,198 --> 00:05:32,202
I'd like you to meet Darlene,
my first wife.
95
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,713
She was the living
personification of the question:
96
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:38,948
Is there life after TV?
[burp]
97
00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,120
Kiss my ass.
98
00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:46,161
All I said was, "May I have
my breakfast now, honey?"
99
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:50,224
Kiss my ass.
This is home video I shot of Gabrielle
100
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:54,667
rehearsing for a stage show
put on by Delta Theta Sigma.
101
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,166
That's Gabrielle.
102
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,293
She's a Georgia peach
but we met in North Carolina
103
00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:01,638
on Bennett's campus.
104
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,438
Gabrielle had fine assets.
105
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,879
Assets that Darlene couldn't
even begin to approximate.
106
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:12,009
For one thing,
she was a reader.
And so was I.
107
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:16,319
And sexually, Gabrielle
was responsive with a capital R.
108
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,990
A girl who reads
Gwendolyn Brooks
and kisses me like Soulmate #1
109
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:24,497
deserves to be
my significant other.
110
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:30,031
So, any way- the 70s
ended with the deadly Ds.
111
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,799
Divorce from Darlene,
debt and depression.
112
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,133
[Street's Id]
Depression...
113
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,743
Two years later the 80s
didn't look much better.
114
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:39,437
Still living at home
with my parents.
115
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:43,518
Still listening to my brother
Darren chew his food too loud.
116
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,084
You see Darren thinks
he's a comedian.
117
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,383
He's about as funny as the last
scream for help at Armageddon.
118
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:53,754
Stop chewing so loud.
#Now, you see I asked him very politely
119
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,426
not to chew his food too loud.
Listen.
120
00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,329
[smacking loudly]
121
00:07:00,452 --> 00:07:04,097
Get a job in a gas station.
#Shut up, man.
122
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,393
I'm gonna sneeze.
#[sneezes]
123
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:13,404
Very funny.
124
00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:25,014
[laughing]
But as different as they were,
125
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,786
both Gabrielle and Darlene
sent me to work every morning
126
00:07:27,913 --> 00:07:31,157
with the same message.
Make some money.
127
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:35,496
What?
#Make some money.
128
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,396
Okay.
129
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,338
Hey, you guys,
this should be a gas.
#We've got seven rooms in hereto wire.
130
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,610
Pretty cool.
#A gas?
131
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:55,786
Come on, Curtis.
#Great. All the white boys in the world
132
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:58,219
and your daddy has to pick
the most happiest.
133
00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:04,126
Hey, the door, man.
134
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:07,665
This is boring.
135
00:08:07,785 --> 00:08:09,494
This is boring!
136
00:08:13,858 --> 00:08:16,072
[Earl]
Shit.
#[Sam Lett] Yep. My money.
137
00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:19,338
You gonna owe me
four more dollars.
#Get me some money.
138
00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:22,374
Wait a minute.
Let me try it again.
#Come on, man. I get my...
139
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,512
Double or nothing.
#Get my money. Ten dollars, man.
140
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:26,171
Come on, double or nothing.
#Set it up.
141
00:08:26,304 --> 00:08:30,549
Here's five right there.
- Get the four dollars out. - Come on, come on, come on.
142
00:08:30,675 --> 00:08:33,220
You can do it, baby.
#It's your world. It's your world, baby.
143
00:08:33,344 --> 00:08:35,054
Come on, baby, come on.
#[Sam Lett] Get me five more dollars together.
144
00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:37,585
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, baby, you can do it.
#You can do it.
145
00:08:37,715 --> 00:08:41,524
Yes, yeah, yeah.
- Yes! - Yes!!
146
00:08:41,652 --> 00:08:44,958
In those days,
home away from home was right here at the Trio.
147
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,695
We'd sit around
and discuss all the things
148
00:08:46,824 --> 00:08:50,502
dissatisfied brothers
would discuss, namely money.
149
00:08:50,627 --> 00:08:52,540
Sam has a better
understanding of computers
150
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:57,408
than I do because
you got a computer, right?
#I got a calculator, man.
151
00:08:57,534 --> 00:09:00,711
Shut up, Curtis.
#It's really very simple, man.
152
00:09:00,837 --> 00:09:04,020
Well, why haven't you
done it then?
#Because I don't have a job.
153
00:09:04,141 --> 00:09:06,151
But we all know that.
#This'll work, man.
154
00:09:06,276 --> 00:09:08,155
- It's got to work.
- Come on and explain.
155
00:09:08,278 --> 00:09:11,353
Okay, they send the checks
to a clearing house
156
00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:15,263
to check the checks to make sure
that they check.
#Yeah?
157
00:09:15,385 --> 00:09:17,560
What you mean
check the check?
#Sound like a nursery rhyme.
158
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:20,101
Now, wait, wait, wait.
159
00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:22,934
So, when you put that little
pinhole prick in there--
160
00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:26,069
you know they have to be sorted
electronically, right?
#Right.
161
00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:28,838
Those optical characters
at the bottom of the check.
162
00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:32,046
You put that little
pinhole prick in there
the computer can't read it.
163
00:09:32,168 --> 00:09:33,443
So, it kicks it back out.
164
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:38,353
- A pinhole prick?
- A pinhole prick, yes.
165
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:40,883
Yeah?
#It's really very simple.
166
00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:44,086
Yeah?
#Just like you. Simple.
167
00:09:44,213 --> 00:09:47,318
Have you done it before?
#For the past three years.
168
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,427
You said that last time.
#It's been working like a charm.
169
00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:52,959
Then why are you
wearing those clothes?
#And how come you ain't got no money?
170
00:09:53,089 --> 00:09:55,068
This is my brother's coat.
#Why don't you buy some beer?
171
00:09:55,191 --> 00:09:56,862
Yeah, why don't you
buy everybody--
It's your turn.
172
00:09:59,962 --> 00:10:01,102
Man, we need some money.
173
00:10:07,403 --> 00:10:11,813
A kilo of weed a month, okay?
#You get rid of thirty ounces.
174
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:13,944
That'll be $300.
175
00:10:14,076 --> 00:10:18,281
You take a $125
right off the top.
#That's yours.
176
00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:21,864
Plus...
#plus you can nickel and dime, man.
177
00:10:21,984 --> 00:10:25,161
You can nickel and dime any
miscellaneous buds you may have.
178
00:10:25,287 --> 00:10:29,262
All that is pure profit
for you, too.
179
00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:32,238
One thing though,
180
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,608
keep in mind that
this is strictly business.
181
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:39,911
Okay?
#You come to me and you say you want to make some money.
182
00:10:40,035 --> 00:10:43,809
This is it.
#This is your chance.
183
00:10:43,939 --> 00:10:48,085
The question is,
what do you want to do?
184
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,815
[Street]
Oh, I don't know.
185
00:10:49,944 --> 00:10:52,223
I mean, speaking from
a theoretical point of view,
186
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:56,357
the question is
do I have to deal drugs
in order to make money?
187
00:10:56,484 --> 00:11:02,064
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
188
00:11:02,189 --> 00:11:05,970
Do you want to philosophize
about this, brother, huh?
189
00:11:06,093 --> 00:11:09,972
Or do you want
to make some money?
#Make some money?
190
00:11:10,097 --> 00:11:12,876
Money.
191
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,141
I had met Detroit Tiger
Willie Horton socially
192
00:11:15,269 --> 00:11:18,245
and he'd been
very nice to me.
My ex-high school associates
193
00:11:18,372 --> 00:11:22,117
wanted to make use
of the connection.
For how much?
194
00:11:22,243 --> 00:11:24,889
Twenty.
#Twenty-five thousand.
195
00:11:25,012 --> 00:11:29,557
Oh, you all
are talking stupid.
#Now, you, I can understand.
196
00:11:29,683 --> 00:11:34,333
But Earl-
how you get so stupid?
#Duh...
197
00:11:34,455 --> 00:11:38,301
I take stupid pills.
#[laughing]
198
00:11:38,425 --> 00:11:41,600
You could write
the company back
and tell them they work, stupid.
199
00:11:41,728 --> 00:11:44,166
Can't write.
#Too stupid.
200
00:11:44,298 --> 00:11:49,116
[laughing]
201
00:11:49,236 --> 00:11:55,420
Twenty-five thousand dollars.
202
00:11:55,542 --> 00:12:00,318
Fifty thousand dollars.
- They got the money. - You know they got it.
203
00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:01,518
You know they got the money.
204
00:12:07,087 --> 00:12:08,864
And who's gonna write
the note?
205
00:12:14,294 --> 00:12:15,603
You can count me out.
206
00:12:21,735 --> 00:12:24,981
You're the one
with the words, bro.
#That's right.
207
00:12:25,105 --> 00:12:28,453
You know my spellin'
be off sometimes.
208
00:12:28,574 --> 00:12:31,715
You know how
to spell extortion?
#Eck what??
209
00:12:31,844 --> 00:12:35,819
Can you do it
is the question.
- Come on. - Right.
210
00:12:35,948 --> 00:12:40,694
Here the paper is, man.
#Come on. I'll even drive you up there?
211
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,727
Drive?
#Use your car, Sam.
212
00:12:56,201 --> 00:12:58,810
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
213
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:07,085
No, let's just stay here.
#Relax.
214
00:13:07,212 --> 00:13:11,094
Let's just camp out here.
#To this very day people ask me,
215
00:13:11,216 --> 00:13:13,756
why did I send a copy of the
letter to the Detroit Free Press
216
00:13:13,886 --> 00:13:17,733
and the Flint Journal
for publication?
Dear Mrs. Horton.
217
00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:19,930
We have some photographs
of your husband
218
00:13:20,059 --> 00:13:22,905
doing acts with several
different women.
219
00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:25,271
We won't release these
to the press
220
00:13:25,397 --> 00:13:28,210
if you'll pay $50,000 to us
221
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:30,781
before banking hours
close today.
222
00:13:30,902 --> 00:13:33,749
Go with this man
and give him the money
223
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:37,949
and nothing will happen.
224
00:13:38,076 --> 00:13:43,224
Signed Doug Street.
225
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:46,157
Okay, first of all,
I had nothing to do with the note appearing
226
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,954
in the Detroit Free Press
or the Flint Journal.
It was Curtis.
227
00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:51,365
Or should I say Judas.
That's right.
228
00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:54,405
It was a publicity move.
229
00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,769
I signed Doug's name and
I was going to sign mine.
230
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:59,537
But I thought it
was more effective
coming from one person, you know.
231
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:06,408
The press adopted me
as a kind of media mascot
for a few days.
232
00:14:06,537 --> 00:14:09,350
How does your wife
feel about your escapades.
233
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:14,089
Ah, ooh, yea...
#I haven't talked to her yet.
234
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:16,621
No, you haven't.
#Gabrielle was not pleased.
235
00:14:16,747 --> 00:14:19,026
[press corps] Mr. Street! Mr. Street!
Mr. Street...!
236
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,898
But I was getting into it.
After that letter in the Free Press
237
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,230
I leaked to the media
that the whole extortion thing
238
00:14:25,356 --> 00:14:27,834
was just a means to an end.
That what I really wanted all along
239
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:30,601
was a try-out
with the Detroit Tigers.
240
00:14:30,728 --> 00:14:33,803
I was even interviewed
by the Barber twins,
Denny and Dave.
241
00:14:33,931 --> 00:14:35,606
Denny covered sports
for Channel 59
242
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,806
while brother Dave's Open Forum
on Channel 4
243
00:14:37,935 --> 00:14:40,313
handled the big issues.
Why would you sue Willie Horton.
244
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:43,876
[Denny Barber]
From all the reports
you certainly seem to impress the Tigers.
245
00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:45,511
Have you heard from
the front office?
246
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:49,184
Anybody in Tiger management
been in touch with you?
#You mean about a try-out?
247
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:52,729
A try-out.
A real try-out.
#Ah, no- No, not yet.
248
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,025
Do you think
maybe they will?
249
00:14:55,152 --> 00:14:58,534
Ah, no-
No, not really.
250
00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:01,861
Well, I'll tell you what,
Doug Street,
you've certainly got a lot of moxie
251
00:15:01,992 --> 00:15:05,570
and I hope things
definitely work out for you.
- Moxie? - Moxie.
252
00:15:05,695 --> 00:15:07,334
What's that?
#I... I don't know.
253
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:10,307
My producer gave
me the word and I...
#I just tried to slip it into the...
254
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,012
into the program.
#I don't know...
255
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:14,441
is that like having
garlic on your breath?
#I'll tell you what,
256
00:15:14,571 --> 00:15:16,280
anybody that could pull off
a stunt like this
257
00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:18,615
obviously has a lot of
determination and drive
258
00:15:18,741 --> 00:15:22,584
and I think they, uh,
deserve a chance.
#This have been the Barber Beat.
259
00:15:25,214 --> 00:15:29,065
Oooh.
#The seat got hot.
260
00:15:29,185 --> 00:15:31,189
You know Willie Horton?
#[Dave Barber] Personally.
261
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:35,170
And I know him to be a very
understanding individual.
262
00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:38,763
Let's get another
record straight
while we're talking about Mr. Horton.
263
00:15:38,895 --> 00:15:40,740
- That rec...
- You never had photographs,
264
00:15:40,863 --> 00:15:44,274
Polaroid photographs
of Willie Horton with girls,
did you?
265
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,744
Get the record straight.
#That record...
266
00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:49,349
Did you?
#I beg your pardon?
267
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:53,286
You never
had Polaroid pictures
of Willie Horton with girls, did you?
268
00:15:53,409 --> 00:15:56,417
No, no.
#In fact, had you ever witnessed Willie Horton
269
00:15:56,545 --> 00:16:00,123
cavorting with other women?
#No, no.
270
00:16:00,249 --> 00:16:04,458
Then why?
#Please tell me why would you concoct
271
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:09,631
such a licentious,
low-down loathsome lie?
272
00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:11,569
My objective...
273
00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:15,611
my objective was to...
274
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:18,305
present Mrs. Horton,
while her husband was away,
275
00:16:18,434 --> 00:16:21,782
with something that
was so wrenching
276
00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:24,853
that she would be panicked.
277
00:16:24,973 --> 00:16:28,845
I wanted to press
her panic button.
#And why?
278
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:31,251
That is not a...
#this is not a big expos� you're doing.
279
00:16:31,379 --> 00:16:33,520
This is all a matter
of public record.
280
00:16:33,649 --> 00:16:37,362
Then answer this question.
Answer this question. Why?
#Why What?
281
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:40,161
...would you concoct...
#I wanted to get the money.
282
00:16:40,288 --> 00:16:42,264
Money!
Make some money.
283
00:16:42,390 --> 00:16:44,937
Man,
we need some money.
For the money.
284
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:46,665
You're a liar,
aren't you, Mr. Street?
285
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,173
When I got home that night
286
00:16:54,302 --> 00:16:57,650
I found out that Gabrielle
had the real evening news.
287
00:16:57,772 --> 00:17:02,418
I'm pregnant.
#The Willie Horton fiasco changed my life.
288
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:05,254
It would have changed even more
if they'd have pressed charges.
289
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:06,451
You know, if it hadn't been
for Curtis
290
00:17:06,581 --> 00:17:08,756
my first escapade
would have gotten over.
291
00:17:08,883 --> 00:17:10,887
I decided to try
the sports world again.
292
00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:14,868
But this time
as a reporter from TIME.
293
00:17:14,989 --> 00:17:17,832
I had all her
personal statistics
in the first ten minutes.
294
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:21,406
Height, 6 '2 ".
Weight, 165.
295
00:17:21,529 --> 00:17:26,047
Feet, 13.
IQ, 178.
296
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:28,649
She and her twin sister, Pam,
had already carved a place
297
00:17:28,769 --> 00:17:30,910
for themselves
in women's basketball.
298
00:17:31,038 --> 00:17:33,954
They'd gone to the Olympics,
been on the cover of Jet.
299
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:37,953
And a collection
of Paula's poetry
was about to be published.
300
00:17:38,078 --> 00:17:40,321
The way I figured it,
an interview with Paula McGee
301
00:17:40,447 --> 00:17:44,194
could be sold to TIME Magazine
for $2,000.
302
00:17:44,318 --> 00:17:50,969
[music]
303
00:17:51,091 --> 00:17:54,667
She was brimming over
with the four Bs.
304
00:17:54,794 --> 00:18:01,309
Black, brains,
beauty, basketball.
305
00:18:01,435 --> 00:18:07,448
All in one delectable
6'2" package.
306
00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:10,352
Oh, lord, if I could just
rap to her like Barry White.
307
00:18:10,477 --> 00:18:14,428
Oh Paula, let me pull
on your pink panties.
308
00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:16,187
And baby,
your pert pagodas perched
309
00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:19,060
like two firm pears
in my fruit salad.
310
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,666
Got that maraschino
cherry, baby.
They peek at me so prettily
311
00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:26,706
from underneath your
polyester Givenchy.
312
00:18:26,826 --> 00:18:31,102
I began to subtly steer
the conversation
into her personal life.
313
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:34,271
Of course,
they key word is subtle.
314
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,974
Have you ever
had an orgasm?
315
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:40,315
What's that have to do
with the cover story?
316
00:18:40,439 --> 00:18:46,794
Well, you know
the big picture.
317
00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:50,022
Oh... oh, well.
#It's funny you should bring that up.
318
00:18:50,148 --> 00:18:51,686
Because just the other I was
talking to a friend of mine
319
00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:56,666
about how women
fake orgasms.
#And I think that's crazy.
320
00:18:56,789 --> 00:18:58,098
Yeah.
321
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:04,299
I love the haiku form.
#It's so pure.
322
00:19:04,429 --> 00:19:07,210
Paula had told her
secretary, Melissa,
to hold all appointments.
323
00:19:07,332 --> 00:19:10,248
This one's called feet.
324
00:19:10,368 --> 00:19:14,820
Your feet stink.
#Your mind is rank.
325
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:18,117
I hate the way
you're shaped like a tank.
326
00:19:23,281 --> 00:19:24,956
What do you think?
327
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:33,034
Hmm.
#Maybe you should stop the tape.
328
00:19:33,158 --> 00:19:36,174
Why?
#Because I don't want to sound like I'm desperate.
329
00:19:36,294 --> 00:19:40,106
Because I'm not.
#Maybe you are.
330
00:19:40,232 --> 00:19:42,709
No.
#Hmmm.
331
00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:46,376
I even thought about
going on the Love Connection.
#Love...that date...
332
00:19:46,504 --> 00:19:50,813
that TV dating game show?
#Yeah, but then I say if I go on the show
333
00:19:50,942 --> 00:19:54,490
and I say the reason I'm here
basically is because I don't have anybody to date,
334
00:19:54,612 --> 00:19:59,360
then it looks like
I'm desperate.
- No, it doesn't. - Yes, it does.
335
00:19:59,483 --> 00:20:03,964
I eat chitlins.
#The chitlins eat me.
336
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:06,036
Get me a stomach pump.
337
00:20:09,526 --> 00:20:13,744
So what do you think?
#I don't believe this.
338
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:16,040
Here she is with the world
at her feet
339
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:20,883
and she can't find
a decent guy to date?
Uh-uh. Something's wrong.
340
00:20:21,005 --> 00:20:22,883
After three hours
I begin to fantasize
341
00:20:23,007 --> 00:20:24,487
about this
extraordinary woman.
342
00:20:24,608 --> 00:20:28,081
In another age she would
have been a warrior goddess.
343
00:20:28,212 --> 00:20:31,127
An African Amazon.
344
00:20:31,248 --> 00:20:35,131
Oh, go on and
Serenghetti me, baby.
345
00:20:35,252 --> 00:20:38,498
[phone rings]
346
00:20:38,622 --> 00:20:42,403
I've got something
I need you to see.
347
00:20:42,526 --> 00:20:45,738
I need you to come out here.
348
00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:50,476
Right.
#Paula excused herself and I sat there...
349
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:54,713
and sat there...
and sat there blowing smoke rings.
350
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:59,414
I had misspelled
the word "right".
And... whatchamacallum...
351
00:20:59,542 --> 00:21:03,460
�Melissa, who wrote
such dumb-ass poetry.
352
00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:05,322
She was smart enough
to call TIME headquarters
353
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:08,022
and ask for
a personnel confirmation.
354
00:21:08,151 --> 00:21:12,392
When I married you
I didn't think you were stupid.
#I can't stand stupid men.
355
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,131
I can't stand
stupid people, period.
356
00:21:15,258 --> 00:21:18,868
Only a moron would send a letter
with a misspelling like that.
357
00:21:18,994 --> 00:21:23,943
Did you watch your
soap operas today?
#And see, you're cutting into my soap time
358
00:21:24,066 --> 00:21:27,442
and I don't allow that.
- Which one did you watch?
#Which do you think?
359
00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:29,482
Erica of course.
#Erica?
360
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:34,923
- Susan Lucci, Susan Lucci.
- Susan Lucci, Susan Lucci.
361
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:37,755
I don't know why you waste
your time watching that stuff.
362
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,590
Well, it'd make
about as much sense
as telling people one lie after another.
363
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:45,099
I took her to a restaurant
so she would stop pouting.
364
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:49,332
Babe loves to pout.
She's the pouting princess.
365
00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:54,303
[mumbling]
What?
366
00:21:54,429 --> 00:21:57,971
I said I hate asparagus
that taste like leather.
367
00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:01,012
Oh, you just don't
like vegetables.
#That's not true.
368
00:22:01,136 --> 00:22:05,186
I married you.
#And I married you, Mr. Potato Head.
369
00:22:08,843 --> 00:22:11,150
- You know honey...
- Hmm?
#I've been thinking.
370
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,890
You could enroll at
the University of Michigan
and study medicine.
371
00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:16,359
Hmmm.
#You've been thinkin'. That's dangerous.
372
00:22:16,485 --> 00:22:19,362
You'd like to be a doctor's wife,
wouldn't you?
#Yes.
373
00:22:19,488 --> 00:22:22,093
You take care of the patients
and I'll take care of the pennies.
374
00:22:22,223 --> 00:22:25,703
What pennies?
#Neiman-Marcus takes care of all our pennies.
375
00:22:25,827 --> 00:22:29,303
Or Bonwit Tellers.
#Yes, or Saks Fifth Avenue.
376
00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:35,748
You want another beer?
#No, I'm fine.
377
00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:39,981
You are extremely fine.
#And you know it, too, don't you?
378
00:22:43,411 --> 00:22:47,823
[burp]
[burps again]
379
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:52,695
Excuse me, miss?
#Yes, can I help you?
380
00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:54,199
Yeah.
381
00:22:54,322 --> 00:22:58,399
I'd like another
Michelob light and...
382
00:22:58,526 --> 00:23:01,709
you want anything else?
#Yes, two pieces of pecan pie, please.
383
00:23:01,829 --> 00:23:05,174
Two'?
Will there be anything else?
384
00:23:05,299 --> 00:23:09,139
She also wants
one lifetime charge account
at Lane Bryant.
385
00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:12,880
Yes, thank you.
386
00:23:13,006 --> 00:23:16,956
I thought you were going
to watch your figure?
#I am...
387
00:23:17,077 --> 00:23:21,186
Watching it get big.
#You know, when you really think about it,
388
00:23:21,314 --> 00:23:23,661
you're the one responsible
for my overeating.
389
00:23:23,784 --> 00:23:28,034
You put me under a lot of strain
with what you've been doing.
#Hmm.
390
00:23:28,155 --> 00:23:30,638
Well, you know if I'd wanted
to marry a big fat
391
00:23:30,758 --> 00:23:34,710
greasy chocolate doughnut-eating
hostess cupcake,
392
00:23:34,828 --> 00:23:39,508
twinkie lard elbow woman,
I could have married Joyce.
393
00:23:39,632 --> 00:23:41,945
If I ever got that big
there'd just be...
394
00:23:42,069 --> 00:23:45,781
- That much more of me to love.
- That much more of me to love.
#All right.
395
00:23:45,905 --> 00:23:46,816
Well?
396
00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:50,914
Baby, I would divorce you
so quick your head would spin.
397
00:23:51,044 --> 00:23:54,026
You wouldn't.
#Hmm.
398
00:23:54,147 --> 00:23:56,356
Would you really?
399
00:23:56,483 --> 00:24:01,767
Well, why don't you put on
50 pounds and find out.
400
00:24:01,888 --> 00:24:04,602
You're awful.
#My middle name.
401
00:24:04,724 --> 00:24:06,270
One Michelob light.
#Hmm.
402
00:24:06,393 --> 00:24:09,205
And two pieces
of pecan pie.
- Thank you very much. - You're welcome.
403
00:24:15,668 --> 00:24:19,814
Excuse me,
but I was just sitting over there admiring your dress.
404
00:24:19,939 --> 00:24:23,282
Thank you.
#It's nice to see some class in this dump.
405
00:24:28,347 --> 00:24:31,160
Don't you know
Michelob is for white men?
406
00:24:31,283 --> 00:24:34,165
And you know that the
white man runs this world?
407
00:24:34,286 --> 00:24:37,863
What? Is that what it says
on the label?
#How much?
408
00:24:37,990 --> 00:24:40,629
How much what?
#How much what-?!
409
00:24:40,759 --> 00:24:45,210
Come on, cut the comedy.
#The bitch is fine.
410
00:24:45,331 --> 00:24:50,315
And I'm willing to pay
through the nose
when the ass has got class.
411
00:24:50,436 --> 00:24:52,911
Honey, come on,
take a drink here.
#Come on.
412
00:24:53,038 --> 00:24:56,615
You know what I mean,
porch monkey?
413
00:24:56,742 --> 00:25:00,417
You did say more funky?
#That is what he said isn't it, more funky?
414
00:25:00,546 --> 00:25:03,025
Not porch money.
More funky.
#Hey, hey, hey-
415
00:25:03,148 --> 00:25:06,690
Why don't get, get around.
#Are you crazy?
416
00:25:06,819 --> 00:25:09,769
Nigger, get your nasty
black hands off of me.
417
00:25:09,888 --> 00:25:12,228
If he thinks he can just
like come in here and...
#Fuckin' let go!!
418
00:25:19,230 --> 00:25:24,008
You know,
that's a very nasty word.
#But what's really, pardon the expression,
419
00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:28,110
fucked up is your grammar.
#'Fuckin' let go'.
420
00:25:28,239 --> 00:25:30,084
You can't say that.
421
00:25:30,208 --> 00:25:34,092
You know the rules of grammar
apply to profanity as well.
422
00:25:34,212 --> 00:25:37,788
The word fuck comes from
the German root, ficken,
423
00:25:37,915 --> 00:25:40,831
which means to strike.
424
00:25:40,951 --> 00:25:43,126
It's a verb and can be used
in a variety of ways
425
00:25:43,254 --> 00:25:45,236
both transitive
and intransitive.
426
00:25:45,357 --> 00:25:50,296
For example,
simple aggression.
#Fuck you.
427
00:25:50,428 --> 00:25:54,437
Or simple confusion,
what the fuck is goin' on here?
#And then there's apathy.
428
00:25:54,566 --> 00:25:57,912
Who gives a fuck?
#And then there's ignorance,
429
00:25:58,035 --> 00:26:00,978
which is very appropriate
for you.
#Duh... [Street: Fucked if I know-!]
430
00:26:01,105 --> 00:26:03,578
Marty,
call the police.
#I can deal with this asshole.
431
00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:05,978
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Defiance.
#The fuck you can.
432
00:26:06,110 --> 00:26:09,560
I ain't gonna take this
shit from you.
#Oh, authority!? Shut the fuck up.
433
00:26:09,679 --> 00:26:11,523
And you can say it
four different ways.
#Shut the fuck up.
434
00:26:11,648 --> 00:26:13,591
Shut the fuck up.
#Shut the fuck up.
435
00:26:13,717 --> 00:26:16,628
Shut the fuck up.
#Now, see, these are all the things you could have said
436
00:26:16,753 --> 00:26:21,533
if you weren't so unbelievably
coarse and crude
and countrified.
437
00:26:21,658 --> 00:26:25,407
That's alliteration, babe.
#And remember, peckerwood,
438
00:26:25,529 --> 00:26:29,002
profanity is the last refuge
of the ignorant,
439
00:26:29,133 --> 00:26:31,011
the insensitive
and the illiterate.
440
00:26:31,135 --> 00:26:33,116
But if you're going to use it,
and I can see you are,
441
00:26:33,237 --> 00:26:35,378
at least get the fuckin'
grammar right, moron.
442
00:26:37,574 --> 00:26:40,144
Let's see your muscle,
'stead of your mouth.
#Come on, boy.
443
00:26:40,277 --> 00:26:42,952
Get up.
#Instant replay.
444
00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:44,560
Dumb broad asked me
the other day,
445
00:26:44,681 --> 00:26:47,357
why didn't you punch out
that peckerwood?
446
00:26:47,484 --> 00:26:51,294
I said
because I was unconscious
you extremely stupid bitch.
447
00:26:53,823 --> 00:26:55,736
I had so many bruises
on my face,
448
00:26:55,859 --> 00:27:01,838
for my next role I had to use
a little bit of makeup.
449
00:27:01,965 --> 00:27:05,444
Gabrielle drove me
to the hospital.
And it was in the hospital
450
00:27:05,568 --> 00:27:08,745
that one of my ideas
was pushed over the edge.
451
00:27:12,241 --> 00:27:15,782
Let me be
perfectly honest with you.
452
00:27:15,911 --> 00:27:21,799
Your credentials are just
too amazing to believe.
453
00:27:21,917 --> 00:27:23,022
You know,
this is the first time
454
00:27:23,152 --> 00:27:26,659
we've ever had an intern transfer
here from Harvard Med.
455
00:27:26,789 --> 00:27:29,329
It's quite an honor.
456
00:27:29,459 --> 00:27:33,502
I considered Harvard myself.
457
00:27:33,629 --> 00:27:37,840
Listen, why don't I explain
how the transitional internship works?
458
00:27:37,966 --> 00:27:39,845
Then we can give you
a little tour of the hospital.
459
00:27:39,968 --> 00:27:44,915
You can meet some
of the other residents
and see what you think.
460
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,988
Yeah, that sounds fine.
461
00:27:47,109 --> 00:27:51,884
I'll just finish this.
There.
462
00:28:00,288 --> 00:28:03,702
Dr. Street,
I'd like for you to meet Dr. Doris McCulley.
463
00:28:03,825 --> 00:28:06,905
Oh, how do you do.
#You would be amazed at the way doctors are treated.
464
00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:08,805
Everybody's always
glad to see you.
465
00:28:08,930 --> 00:28:11,675
Everybody always listens
to your every word.
466
00:28:11,799 --> 00:28:14,305
And best of all,
everybody laughs at your jokes.
467
00:28:14,436 --> 00:28:18,479
The intern knows all
but does nothing.
468
00:28:18,606 --> 00:28:22,558
Now, the surgeon knows nothing
but does it all.
469
00:28:22,677 --> 00:28:26,218
And the pathologist
knows everything.
470
00:28:26,348 --> 00:28:30,697
But it's too late.
#Her T-max was a 102.4 degrees last night.
471
00:28:30,818 --> 00:28:32,629
All right, let's keep an eye
on that temp today.
472
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,633
Get that ultrasound
done this morning.
473
00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:38,799
She could have anything from
hepatitis to a hot gallbladder.
474
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,172
Have the surgeons
felt her belly yet?
#No. In fact, I haven't consulted anyone.
475
00:28:42,296 --> 00:28:43,902
ER admitted her directly
to the floor this morning
476
00:28:44,031 --> 00:28:47,543
because she's one of
Dr. Callus' private patients.
#Fine. I'll talk to Callus.
477
00:28:47,668 --> 00:28:50,245
In the meantime,
let's get some information on this woman.
478
00:28:50,371 --> 00:28:53,143
All right, that's it.
#Let's go get some breakfast.
479
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:03,726
It was too easy.
It was too easy.
480
00:29:03,851 --> 00:29:05,594
Maybe you're
asking yourself,
481
00:29:05,719 --> 00:29:07,428
well, how could he continue
to operate in Detroit
482
00:29:07,554 --> 00:29:11,768
after he'd been exposed
on TV and all.
Answer's very simple.
483
00:29:11,892 --> 00:29:15,573
People forget.
Of course, your wife ain't exactly people.
484
00:29:15,696 --> 00:29:17,644
And my relationship
now with Gabrielle
485
00:29:17,764 --> 00:29:21,978
was an intricate
cobweb of lies.
486
00:29:22,102 --> 00:29:24,881
You mess with one
they all jiggle.
487
00:29:25,005 --> 00:29:27,180
She believed I was
a bone fide student of medicine
488
00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:30,684
enrolled at Wayne State.
She loved me.
489
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:35,122
And where love leads
belief must follow.
After all,
490
00:29:35,248 --> 00:29:37,161
we've got to believe
the ones we love.
491
00:29:37,284 --> 00:29:39,790
All right, well let's
send Mrs. Crawford down
492
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,729
for a chest X-ray
this morning.
#Okay.
493
00:29:43,857 --> 00:29:48,501
And an AP and a lateral.
#Okay, got it.
494
00:29:48,628 --> 00:29:53,479
Okay?
Hmm, let me see.
#Dr. Street, are you on call today?
495
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,409
Hmm. That's right.
It's me.
#Good.
496
00:29:56,536 --> 00:29:58,484
Could you look at
Robertson in 481?
497
00:29:58,604 --> 00:30:02,054
She's complaining
of some chest pain.
498
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:05,352
Well, yes.
Yes, I...
499
00:30:05,478 --> 00:30:07,517
I'll...
I'll be right there.
500
00:30:07,647 --> 00:30:10,859
Oh, um- would you like
a stat EKG?
501
00:30:10,983 --> 00:30:13,261
Mmm...yes.
502
00:30:13,386 --> 00:30:19,171
Yeah, I'll take a stat EKG
and...right away.
503
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:24,296
[music]
504
00:30:36,241 --> 00:30:38,485
I saw the whole gang today.
#You have a lovely family.
505
00:30:38,610 --> 00:30:42,584
Thank you.
#Dr. Street, here's the EKG.
506
00:30:42,714 --> 00:30:45,891
Looks like Mrs. Robertson
is in normal sinus rhythm.
507
00:30:48,587 --> 00:30:51,069
Mmm-hmm.
508
00:30:51,190 --> 00:30:59,082
Mmm...Hmm.
509
00:30:59,197 --> 00:31:00,439
Hmm.
510
00:31:03,769 --> 00:31:06,446
Now, Mrs. Robertson,
511
00:31:06,571 --> 00:31:10,850
tell me exactly
where the pain is?
#Right here, doctor.
512
00:31:10,975 --> 00:31:13,715
- Right there?
- Yes.
#Mmm-hmm.
513
00:31:13,845 --> 00:31:17,193
And have you ever felt
this kind of pain before?
514
00:31:17,315 --> 00:31:21,989
No, never.
#It came on rather sudden.
515
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,999
Rather sudden...
#Feels like someone's put a knife in there or something.
516
00:31:27,125 --> 00:31:29,632
Feels like someone
put a knife in there...
#Yes.
517
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:34,646
Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm. All right.
518
00:31:34,765 --> 00:31:38,808
Let's just...
hmm.
519
00:31:38,936 --> 00:31:46,863
[heart beating]
520
00:31:46,977 --> 00:31:50,554
Now, take a deep breath.
521
00:31:50,681 --> 00:31:53,129
[screaming]
522
00:31:53,250 --> 00:31:56,394
Lord, woman,
what's wrong with you?
523
00:31:56,521 --> 00:32:00,871
Doctor, that hurts.
524
00:32:00,991 --> 00:32:03,702
That hurt, doctor.
525
00:32:10,233 --> 00:32:13,149
Do you see a dysrhythmia
on the EKG, Doctor Street?
526
00:32:13,270 --> 00:32:17,781
Ah...yeah.
527
00:32:17,908 --> 00:32:21,482
Yeah, you mean this EKG here?
- Yes. - Right, yeah. Mmm-hmm.
528
00:32:21,611 --> 00:32:24,527
Yah... it could be abnormal.
529
00:32:24,647 --> 00:32:27,358
Apparently the key word here
was oxygen
530
00:32:27,484 --> 00:32:30,299
which I ordered
for Mrs. Robertson
at the last minute.
531
00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:33,233
And as Dr. Hardy expressed to me
the next day over coffee,
532
00:32:33,356 --> 00:32:37,068
I was doing a very thorough
and professional job.
533
00:32:39,796 --> 00:32:43,937
I think I'll stop by.
#Just to see how a Harvard man works.
534
00:32:44,066 --> 00:32:45,741
You know there's a rumor
circulating around here
535
00:32:45,868 --> 00:32:50,244
that when a Harvard man
makes his first incision
he doesn't use a scalpel.
536
00:32:50,372 --> 00:32:54,085
He just orders the flesh
to part and it parts.
537
00:32:54,210 --> 00:32:58,388
Like Moses and the Red Sea.
#I'll see you in OR.
538
00:32:58,514 --> 00:33:01,555
Forty-five minutes.
#You've got a hysterectomy to perform.
539
00:33:04,754 --> 00:33:09,673
[train conductor]
All aboard to hysterectomy.
540
00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:16,909
Passing through flesh, muscle,
organs, non-stop to uterus.
541
00:33:17,033 --> 00:33:20,506
All aboard!
542
00:33:20,636 --> 00:33:24,383
I had visualized myself
performing surgery many times.
543
00:33:24,506 --> 00:33:28,788
But of course, there's nothing
ever quite like the real thing.
544
00:33:28,910 --> 00:33:30,414
I don't know if any of you
sitting out there
545
00:33:30,546 --> 00:33:33,723
have ever out a human being
open before with two interns,
546
00:33:33,849 --> 00:33:37,622
three nurses
and the resident physician
looking over your shoulder.
547
00:33:37,753 --> 00:33:42,497
But you can take my word for it,
it's an unforgettable experience.
548
00:33:42,625 --> 00:33:47,334
And people ask me
if I regret what happened.
Sure I regret it.
549
00:33:47,462 --> 00:33:52,373
0600 - I begin to
notice odd details.
I like her bellybutton.
550
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:55,416
I've always felt that innies are
infinitely superior to outties.
551
00:33:55,537 --> 00:33:58,716
But on the other hand,
her stretch marks gross me out.
552
00:34:01,042 --> 00:34:04,856
Can we begin?
#Ready.
553
00:34:04,980 --> 00:34:05,822
Scalpel.
554
00:34:16,491 --> 00:34:18,302
Wilson, Brady--
555
00:34:18,426 --> 00:34:23,072
I want you to note the speed and
dexterity of Dr. Street's work.
556
00:34:23,198 --> 00:34:25,110
Oh, speed and dexterity.
557
00:34:25,233 --> 00:34:29,843
What time are they
gonna show up?
Bovie.
558
00:34:34,775 --> 00:34:38,818
I can't believe the amount
of blood in this woman.
559
00:34:38,946 --> 00:34:42,587
Dr. Street has filled me in
on the latest gospel on glove wearing
560
00:34:42,717 --> 00:34:45,495
according to the powers
that be at Harvard.
561
00:34:45,619 --> 00:34:47,601
Apparently, they've discovered
that surgical gloves
562
00:34:47,722 --> 00:34:52,698
are more effective if they're
worn two sizes smaller.
563
00:34:52,827 --> 00:34:57,371
- Next.
- Another hemostat.
#Hemostat.
564
00:34:57,497 --> 00:35:01,005
Tie.
565
00:35:01,135 --> 00:35:02,706
Tie. Tie.
566
00:35:08,142 --> 00:35:11,217
Why is this nurse
breathing so hard?
567
00:35:11,345 --> 00:35:15,125
She's freakin' me out.
568
00:35:15,249 --> 00:35:16,661
Either she can tell
I don't know what I'm doin'
569
00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:20,063
or the sight of blood
makes her sick.
570
00:35:20,186 --> 00:35:24,571
Wipe.
571
00:35:24,691 --> 00:35:27,196
0620 and counting.
572
00:35:27,327 --> 00:35:30,540
God, I'm drowning
in my own sweat.
573
00:35:30,664 --> 00:35:34,639
Suction.
574
00:35:34,768 --> 00:35:39,284
I can't tell what
Dr. Hardy's thinking.
Sometimes he looks puzzled.
575
00:35:39,405 --> 00:35:43,781
Big retractor.
#Sometimes he looks furious.
576
00:35:43,910 --> 00:35:47,793
And sometimes he just
gives me a cold stare.
577
00:35:51,951 --> 00:35:55,492
Oh Lord, I hope the sweat
doesn't' make my mascara run.
578
00:35:55,621 --> 00:35:59,803
I'll be lookln' like
some kind of punk doctor.
Wipe...
579
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:02,635
All right, now...
580
00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:11,009
All right. Let's...
#Suture scissors.
581
00:36:19,445 --> 00:36:21,357
All right.
Let's close.
582
00:36:21,481 --> 00:36:24,693
Street, why don't you help
Wilson and Brady close?
583
00:36:24,817 --> 00:36:27,322
Certainly.
584
00:36:27,452 --> 00:36:30,699
And Street,
585
00:36:30,823 --> 00:36:32,702
after the patient
is in the recovery room,
586
00:36:32,825 --> 00:36:37,566
I want to see you
in my office...
#immediately.
587
00:36:44,269 --> 00:36:47,610
Jane, before I
suture this patient up,
please give me size six and a half gloves.
588
00:36:49,108 --> 00:36:51,920
I hardly know what to say.
589
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:56,690
This is really quite unexpected.
590
00:36:56,815 --> 00:36:59,298
But I've never seen
a resident at your level
591
00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:01,696
demonstrate such
surgical savoir faire.
592
00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:09,333
All I need now
are some fuchsia pumps.
#I'll go out and buy some.
593
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:12,174
[knock at the door]
Don't answer it.
594
00:37:12,296 --> 00:37:15,708
Why not?
#Two guys came about an hour ago.
595
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:18,614
I think that's them.
#I think that is they.
596
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,547
When are you going to learn
how to speak English?
597
00:37:20,672 --> 00:37:25,553
Don't worry...
wait a minute.
#Doug?
598
00:37:25,676 --> 00:37:30,421
What?
#You know if it's the police I've gotta tell them the truth.
599
00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:34,289
Who said it was the police?
#Then why are we whispering?
600
00:37:34,418 --> 00:37:38,268
You're not whispering.
Not soft enough.
601
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,471
How do you do?
#Fine, thank you.
602
00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:50,804
Are you Mrs. Street,
married to Dr. Douglas Street?
#Yes, I am.
603
00:37:50,934 --> 00:37:53,715
We'd like to talk
to the doctor.
#Is he home?
604
00:37:53,837 --> 00:37:56,512
Yes, he is.
#Do you mind if we look around?
605
00:38:01,311 --> 00:38:03,487
A random security check
at the hospital
606
00:38:03,614 --> 00:38:07,524
had revealed my true identity.
The state police had persuaded
607
00:38:07,651 --> 00:38:10,658
the young lady I'd operated on
to press charges.
608
00:38:10,788 --> 00:38:14,740
Fraud with malicious intent.
609
00:38:14,858 --> 00:38:16,703
You can go to jail for that.
610
00:38:38,915 --> 00:38:40,919
I don't know about
the rest of these convicts,
611
00:38:41,050 --> 00:38:43,929
but I didn't come to prison.
I come to study.
612
00:38:47,690 --> 00:38:51,605
Have you actually...
#Sorry about that.
613
00:38:51,728 --> 00:38:56,209
I been wanting to ask you,
do you actually read all those books?
614
00:38:56,332 --> 00:39:00,082
Yes.
#You know what puts the frosting on the cake?
615
00:39:00,202 --> 00:39:04,082
Uh-uh.
#I understand them.
616
00:39:04,206 --> 00:39:08,590
Hmm.
#That's Eugene.
617
00:39:08,711 --> 00:39:10,692
Eugene and I both shared
a mutual admiration
618
00:39:10,813 --> 00:39:12,988
for Jack Kirby
and Steve Ditko.
619
00:39:13,115 --> 00:39:16,065
So we'd get together
and trade comics, talk comics,
620
00:39:16,185 --> 00:39:18,292
remember comics.
621
00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:21,666
In fact, Eugene was
in Jackson because of comics.
622
00:39:21,790 --> 00:39:24,831
He beat on his mother
until she died because...
623
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,236
well, I'll let him tell it.
624
00:39:26,361 --> 00:39:30,905
So when I get home
and go to my room I say,
625
00:39:31,032 --> 00:39:36,214
"Mom, what hath become
of my comic books?"
626
00:39:36,338 --> 00:39:39,618
I used to always talk like Thor.
627
00:39:39,741 --> 00:39:42,987
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
628
00:39:43,111 --> 00:39:45,925
You used to always
talk like Thor, huh?
#Yeah.
629
00:39:46,047 --> 00:39:50,757
- I patterned my speech after him.
- Yeah.
#Sometimes I talked like Spiderman.
630
00:39:50,886 --> 00:39:53,524
Or Daredevil.
#Or Nick Fury.
631
00:39:53,655 --> 00:39:55,533
- Yeah.
- Or the Hulk.
632
00:39:55,657 --> 00:39:58,937
Of course, the Hulk really
didn't have too much to say.
633
00:39:59,060 --> 00:40:00,973
No, not really.
634
00:40:03,899 --> 00:40:06,271
Here you go, man.
#Thanks.
635
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,316
That's right.
#Hey brother, you better wake up.
636
00:40:09,437 --> 00:40:11,480
You sleep walking?
#No, man.
637
00:40:11,606 --> 00:40:15,952
This food is trippin' me out.
#Look, this watermelon is slimy.
638
00:40:16,077 --> 00:40:20,624
And maybe we should stop
pressing license plates
and use these for...
639
00:40:20,748 --> 00:40:23,662
...bricks.
#You don't like the rolls we bake?
640
00:40:23,784 --> 00:40:25,994
When do you bake them?
#Four-thirty in the morning.
641
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,362
Get a little hard
around suppertime.
#A little hard?
642
00:40:29,490 --> 00:40:32,565
You have a gift
for understatement.
643
00:40:40,801 --> 00:40:44,619
Got somethin' for ya',
Street.
#Hmm? What's this?
644
00:40:44,739 --> 00:40:45,616
It's hot!
645
00:40:48,275 --> 00:40:52,191
Hey!
#Naw... we use flour.
646
00:40:52,312 --> 00:40:56,287
Okay. Well listen,
how much do I owe you?
647
00:40:56,416 --> 00:40:59,491
It's cool...
648
00:41:01,188 --> 00:41:02,497
I guess because
he was chief cook.
649
00:41:02,622 --> 00:41:07,372
Smooth got a few extra perks:
TV, stereo, hotplate.
650
00:41:07,494 --> 00:41:11,742
And the power to invite
a few guests over after hours.
651
00:41:11,865 --> 00:41:15,749
He also has access to the best
Thai stick in Jackson Prison.
652
00:41:15,869 --> 00:41:18,682
One of the guards,
Larry Thompson...
653
00:41:18,805 --> 00:41:21,311
He would take you back to
Smooth's cell after lights out.
654
00:41:21,441 --> 00:41:25,920
Come on, man...man.
#How's it been goin'?
655
00:41:26,045 --> 00:41:28,494
You ready to finish
that game or you scared?
656
00:41:28,615 --> 00:41:31,531
- Go on. Sit on the bed.
- All right.
657
00:41:36,823 --> 00:41:40,697
My mama sent me some cookies.
#You like chocolate chip?
658
00:41:40,827 --> 00:41:42,809
Mmm...
how did you know?
659
00:41:48,901 --> 00:41:49,812
Hey...
660
00:41:52,405 --> 00:41:55,748
Where are you?
#[scream]
661
00:41:55,874 --> 00:42:00,087
Their eyes were boiling
with hatred...
#I told you not to play with me...
662
00:42:00,212 --> 00:42:03,025
[gunfire]
...I didn't mean it...
663
00:42:03,149 --> 00:42:06,362
[cheering]
Come on, Steve!!
664
00:42:06,485 --> 00:42:11,599
You know, I been
real nice to you, ain't I?
665
00:42:11,724 --> 00:42:15,129
Yeah, man.
#And I appreciate it, too.
666
00:42:15,260 --> 00:42:19,612
Yah...
#Strange things happens here at night.
667
00:42:19,732 --> 00:42:23,946
Pass me that spud,
will you?
668
00:42:24,069 --> 00:42:28,112
Please don't do it.
669
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,313
I said please...!
Yeah, that's enough.
670
00:42:31,443 --> 00:42:35,794
Please-??!
671
00:42:35,914 --> 00:42:38,658
Yeah, I been
real nice to you.
672
00:42:38,784 --> 00:42:41,528
But you ain't been
nice to me.
673
00:42:41,653 --> 00:42:44,466
Hmm?
What do you mean?
674
00:42:44,589 --> 00:42:49,068
You know what I mean.
#Uh-oh.
675
00:42:49,194 --> 00:42:51,938
You ain't crazy.
676
00:42:52,064 --> 00:42:55,940
Say What?
#Yeah...
677
00:42:56,067 --> 00:42:58,610
yeah, man, like...
#I'll be lookin' out for you... you know.
678
00:42:58,736 --> 00:43:02,152
Mmm-hmm.
679
00:43:02,274 --> 00:43:05,349
You know how you can look
out for me, don't you?
680
00:43:05,477 --> 00:43:09,486
I could smell his genitalia
as it wafted across the cell.
681
00:43:09,614 --> 00:43:12,893
You don't even know me.
#So put your pants back on.
682
00:43:13,017 --> 00:43:15,660
Just put your pants back on.
683
00:43:15,787 --> 00:43:19,967
I can get to know you.
#I ain't even like that.
684
00:43:20,091 --> 00:43:24,272
Y'doin it with
whatchamacallit.
#That white boy I see you hangin' out with.
685
00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:28,639
- Aldo?
- That's right.
#You're doin' it.
686
00:43:28,766 --> 00:43:31,214
What's the matter,
you color struck?
687
00:43:31,335 --> 00:43:34,217
Savin' it for all
the white boys, huh?
688
00:43:34,338 --> 00:43:36,912
Why don't you get your
mind outta the gutter?
689
00:43:37,041 --> 00:43:41,485
You know, I been
real nice to you, Doug.
#You know what goes down.
690
00:43:41,612 --> 00:43:46,221
Not me.
#I don't go down.
691
00:43:46,350 --> 00:43:50,329
I don't have to be nice.
#Well, uh - what are you gonna do?
692
00:43:50,454 --> 00:43:53,836
Stop bringing me
hot rolls in the morning?
693
00:43:53,957 --> 00:43:55,836
Here...
694
00:43:55,959 --> 00:44:00,344
you take this joint back and you
keep that joint under wraps.
695
00:44:00,464 --> 00:44:03,914
And you cancel my order for
Smooth's, soft, steamy, succulent,
696
00:44:04,034 --> 00:44:07,175
accent on the suck,
breakfast buns
and I'll see you later.
697
00:44:07,303 --> 00:44:09,880
'Cause I'm gonna
get out of here.
#Where do you think you're going?
698
00:44:10,006 --> 00:44:12,922
I can take it if I want it
and I want it.
699
00:44:13,042 --> 00:44:16,515
Uh-uh.
Don't touch me, man.
700
00:44:16,647 --> 00:44:22,500
Mmm-mm.
Don't touch me.
701
00:44:22,618 --> 00:44:27,131
What's wrong with you?
#Oh, God-!
702
00:44:27,257 --> 00:44:30,931
Man, what the hell's
the matter with you?
#It's a...
703
00:44:31,061 --> 00:44:33,168
I got a nervous...
704
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:39,275
a nervous disorder and it has
to do with my blood pressure.
705
00:44:39,402 --> 00:44:43,913
It's all right.
I got it.
#You got it?
706
00:44:44,039 --> 00:44:46,648
Mmm-hmm.
#Hey, Thompson.
707
00:44:46,775 --> 00:44:48,313
Hey Thompson!
708
00:44:54,384 --> 00:44:59,839
I've got a
nervous condition.
709
00:44:59,955 --> 00:45:03,998
A new... new... new... new...
710
00:45:04,126 --> 00:45:07,406
nervous condition.
711
00:45:07,529 --> 00:45:11,177
You epilepsy?
#Oh, no, man, no.
712
00:45:11,300 --> 00:45:13,737
It's all right.
#'An-
713
00:45:13,869 --> 00:45:18,049
they say that I should be
on medication
714
00:45:18,173 --> 00:45:20,815
but I don't like pills.
715
00:45:20,943 --> 00:45:25,123
So...
716
00:45:25,247 --> 00:45:29,861
it's all right.
#What time is it?
717
00:45:29,984 --> 00:45:33,023
Eight thirty, uh-
Time for you to go.
718
00:45:33,155 --> 00:45:36,196
Smooth's philosophy was if
you can't lick 'em, suck 'em.
719
00:45:36,325 --> 00:45:39,868
Whereas the way I see it,
if you can't suck 'em, trick 'em.
720
00:45:39,994 --> 00:45:42,477
Because of the trick epileptic
I was sent straight
721
00:45:42,597 --> 00:45:46,047
to the big house psychiatrist,
Dr. Jonathan Hand.
722
00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:49,942
This is all just a vacation
to you, isn't it?
#Prison? A vacation?
723
00:45:50,071 --> 00:45:53,447
To you, yes.
#It's all part of your grand design.
724
00:45:53,575 --> 00:45:57,046
My grand design.
[laughs]
You laugh.
725
00:45:57,178 --> 00:46:01,158
You funny.
#Does it say in your folder there what my grand design is?
726
00:46:01,282 --> 00:46:04,462
Have you got the blueprints?
#Has anyone ever told you
727
00:46:04,585 --> 00:46:08,366
your sense of sarcasm
is extremely strong?
#Oh, yeah.
728
00:46:08,489 --> 00:46:11,332
Has anyone ever told you
that white people who get caught in the rain
729
00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:15,234
smell exactly
like wet dogs?
#This is fact.
730
00:46:15,363 --> 00:46:17,869
Believe it or not.
#I beg your pardon.
731
00:46:17,999 --> 00:46:19,636
Where the...
#I know, I know, I know.
732
00:46:19,766 --> 00:46:24,179
But look,
have you ever been standing in a crowd of white people
733
00:46:24,305 --> 00:46:27,778
and all of a sudden
it starts to rain?
#It's a very particular odor.
734
00:46:27,908 --> 00:46:31,583
Extremely aromatic.
#Hmm...
735
00:46:31,712 --> 00:46:34,821
You like to use humor
as a smokescreen.
736
00:46:34,948 --> 00:46:41,668
Look,
I'm so far ahead of you.
737
00:46:41,789 --> 00:46:44,796
I know what
you're about to say.
#I know what you're thinking.
738
00:46:44,925 --> 00:46:47,932
I know what you're writing
on those evaluation papers.
739
00:46:48,061 --> 00:46:51,045
I know that you're wearing
an incredibly cheap toupee.
740
00:46:51,164 --> 00:46:53,612
I mean, I could sit here and
punch all the right buttons
741
00:46:53,734 --> 00:46:57,641
and make you think
you're a genius
for correctly analyzing this complex,
742
00:46:57,771 --> 00:47:00,413
exotic notorious Negro,
but--
743
00:47:00,540 --> 00:47:04,822
Notorious Negro...
744
00:47:04,945 --> 00:47:07,621
That'd be a good name
for my autobiography.
745
00:47:07,747 --> 00:47:11,221
I... I started writing
my life story...
746
00:47:11,351 --> 00:47:14,627
notorious...
#The first time I went to Jackson Prison
747
00:47:14,754 --> 00:47:17,460
I was there for nine months.
Mom?
748
00:47:17,590 --> 00:47:22,236
Give me the phone.
- Mom? -And don't call here anymore.
749
00:47:22,362 --> 00:47:26,039
Mom?
And that's the way to handle it.
750
00:47:26,165 --> 00:47:30,915
But anyway, you're
not so far off, you know.
751
00:47:31,037 --> 00:47:33,782
You know, I give people
what they want.
752
00:47:33,906 --> 00:47:38,082
When I meet somebody I know
within the first two minutes
who they want me to be.
753
00:47:38,210 --> 00:47:43,528
And I just cut the emotional
cloth of my personality
754
00:47:43,650 --> 00:47:48,426
to fit the emotional clothing
of whomever I'm...
#Conning.
755
00:47:48,554 --> 00:47:52,734
Why are you smiling?
756
00:47:52,859 --> 00:47:56,936
Now you see it,
now you don't.
757
00:47:57,063 --> 00:47:59,409
We have a very good rapport
with all of our inmates here.
758
00:48:02,301 --> 00:48:07,881
The warden walked through
with a group of civilians.
759
00:48:08,006 --> 00:48:09,316
Would you look at
this brother here?
760
00:48:09,441 --> 00:48:10,819
He's so busy protecting
the white woman
761
00:48:10,942 --> 00:48:13,687
he can't even be bothered
with my escape.
762
00:48:13,812 --> 00:48:18,527
It's freezing out here.
Amina is at Yale.
763
00:48:18,650 --> 00:48:22,767
That's not too far away.
I've got $24.
764
00:48:22,888 --> 00:48:24,197
I can get a bus in Ypsilanti.
765
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,333
The first thing I did
after arriving in New Haven, Connecticut
766
00:48:31,462 --> 00:48:35,437
was get to Yale campus.
767
00:48:35,566 --> 00:48:38,982
The second thing,
get a collegiate buppy haircut.
768
00:48:39,104 --> 00:48:42,280
The third thing,
get Gabrielle on the phone.
What?
769
00:48:42,407 --> 00:48:43,911
Don't ask stupid questions.
770
00:48:44,042 --> 00:48:46,581
I can't come back because the
Ann Arbor police are after me
771
00:48:46,711 --> 00:48:49,126
for the non-sufficient
funds check.
772
00:48:49,247 --> 00:48:52,160
And I can't report
to my parole officer
because she'll lock me up.
773
00:48:52,283 --> 00:48:55,531
I can't be a part
of this any more.
I don't believe you...
774
00:48:55,653 --> 00:48:58,693
What?
Don't believe you're in your right mind, Doug.
775
00:48:58,823 --> 00:49:00,395
What did you say?
776
00:49:00,525 --> 00:49:02,905
Will you put your mouth
to the phone and talk louder?
777
00:49:03,027 --> 00:49:03,972
And even if you are
778
00:49:04,094 --> 00:49:06,338
I'd have to be out of my mind
to get involved. I don't...
779
00:49:06,464 --> 00:49:09,909
While I was in prison,
Gabrielle had become a Jehovah Witness.
780
00:49:10,034 --> 00:49:11,879
Said she was tired
of being a Baptist.
781
00:49:12,002 --> 00:49:15,145
Now, how can anybody be tired
of being a Baptist?
782
00:49:15,272 --> 00:49:17,311
Lord, have mercy.
783
00:49:17,442 --> 00:49:22,486
Well, we don't see eye to eye
or god to god.
784
00:49:22,613 --> 00:49:25,927
That afternoon I went to
Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast
785
00:49:26,050 --> 00:49:30,067
to help get my mind right.
[Marais as Beast] He'-Ia!!
786
00:49:30,187 --> 00:49:33,333
I love that movie.
Hello, cher monsieur.
787
00:49:42,899 --> 00:49:44,403
After the movie
I spend seven minutes
788
00:49:44,534 --> 00:49:46,516
persuading Harkness Hall
to let me have a room
789
00:49:46,636 --> 00:49:50,611
even though
I don't have my ID card.
790
00:49:50,740 --> 00:49:53,454
Next morning
I knew what I had to do
and I was geeked to do it.
791
00:49:53,577 --> 00:49:57,685
Stopped by Goodwill
and bought an $11 corduroy suit with patches.
792
00:49:57,814 --> 00:50:01,330
I'm depending on you, son.
Could you tell me where Harkness Hall is?
793
00:50:01,451 --> 00:50:06,395
Yeah, right over there.
#His name, Richard Dukes.
794
00:50:06,523 --> 00:50:08,402
And he was made to order
for my ID.
795
00:50:08,525 --> 00:50:11,840
Hey, some of your tapes
fell on the ground.
#Duh.
796
00:50:11,961 --> 00:50:15,606
Next morning,
8 AM, registrar.
797
00:50:15,732 --> 00:50:19,747
Okay, that's Richards...
- Richard. - Richard.
798
00:50:19,869 --> 00:50:22,716
- Dukes.
- Dukes.
799
00:50:22,839 --> 00:50:30,321
D-U-K-E-S.
800
00:50:30,446 --> 00:50:34,324
All right, Richard.
#Left a note for Amina Tatiana in her mailbox.
801
00:50:34,450 --> 00:50:38,699
We haven't seen each other
for five years.
Not since I split.
802
00:50:38,821 --> 00:50:41,065
Thanks to Dick's ID
I now have total access
803
00:50:41,190 --> 00:50:45,472
to the university's facilities,
including the library here.
804
00:50:45,594 --> 00:50:48,668
But it won't be long
before the registrar
gets hip to this game.
805
00:50:48,797 --> 00:50:51,704
I've got to get
another identity.
Quick.
806
00:50:59,642 --> 00:51:02,420
Walking into the library...
807
00:51:02,545 --> 00:51:06,428
Like walking into a cathedral.
808
00:51:10,285 --> 00:51:16,902
I approach the librarian.
809
00:51:17,025 --> 00:51:20,168
Excuse me, miss.
810
00:51:20,295 --> 00:51:24,938
I always feel right at home
in a library.
Well, who have we here?
811
00:51:25,067 --> 00:51:29,918
Jason goes to Yale?
812
00:51:30,038 --> 00:51:32,953
I love the atmosphere
in a library.
813
00:51:33,075 --> 00:51:37,989
You can almost hear
the sound of thought.
Can you hear it?
814
00:51:41,849 --> 00:51:44,127
And at the moment
all of my thinking
815
00:51:44,252 --> 00:51:47,292
is headed in
a bilingual direction.
816
00:51:56,363 --> 00:51:58,710
Do you sweat much at night?
817
00:51:58,833 --> 00:52:02,614
[speaking French]
818
00:52:02,737 --> 00:52:06,187
I shave my armpits every day.
819
00:52:06,306 --> 00:52:10,087
[speaking French]
820
00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:14,826
Your friend is a real slut.
#She gets laid by everyone.
821
00:52:14,949 --> 00:52:19,954
[speaking French]
822
00:52:25,525 --> 00:52:28,673
[Security guard]
Excuse me sir,
there's no smoking in the lounge.
823
00:52:28,795 --> 00:52:31,642
But I have been smoking
here for the past two hours.
824
00:52:31,765 --> 00:52:34,678
[Security guard]
The people upstairs
said to bring the ashtray downstairs, sir.
825
00:52:34,801 --> 00:52:37,509
There's no smoking
in the lounge.
#As a matter of fact, I'm taking that ashtray.
826
00:52:42,075 --> 00:52:44,947
Merde.
[Security guard] I beg your pardon.
827
00:52:45,078 --> 00:52:48,722
Merde to you.
[Security guard] What do that mean, sir?
828
00:52:48,849 --> 00:52:52,231
Merde means merde.
829
00:52:52,352 --> 00:52:58,274
Yeah...
uh-huh...no...
830
00:52:58,391 --> 00:53:03,101
they invited me to this
masquerade ball next week.
#Yeah, it's a costume ball.
831
00:53:03,229 --> 00:53:07,070
And whoever
has the best costume
gets $10,000 prize money.
832
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,840
[disgusted]
Shoot...
Gabrielle acts like she's sorry I called.
833
00:53:10,971 --> 00:53:13,214
I am sorry, too.
834
00:53:13,339 --> 00:53:17,348
But when I get back to my room
Amina Tatiana is waiting.
835
00:53:17,477 --> 00:53:19,652
And she wasn't sorry either.
836
00:53:19,778 --> 00:53:24,656
Amina was from Kenya,
from money, from beauty,
and from class.
837
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:26,128
I was from hunger.
838
00:53:26,252 --> 00:53:28,928
But she loved and excited me
in a way no other woman
839
00:53:29,054 --> 00:53:33,405
has before or since.
840
00:53:33,526 --> 00:53:37,979
You look
incredibly beautiful.
841
00:53:38,097 --> 00:53:41,479
You look incredibly beautiful.
842
00:53:41,601 --> 00:53:45,813
T.R.?
#T.R.
843
00:53:45,938 --> 00:53:50,943
[music of acoustic guitar]
844
00:54:12,730 --> 00:54:17,514
Anyway, I just froze,
you know.
845
00:54:17,635 --> 00:54:19,514
The only thing
I could think of was...
846
00:54:19,638 --> 00:54:24,379
you know the skunk
in the Warner Brother cartoon,
- Pepe LePew? - Mmm-hmm.
847
00:54:24,509 --> 00:54:29,121
I... that's all I could think of
and I just said Pepe, you know.
848
00:54:29,247 --> 00:54:32,094
If I were a little bit
stronger in French...
849
00:54:32,216 --> 00:54:36,601
if I spoke as many languages
as you do, that's what I wish,
850
00:54:36,721 --> 00:54:39,294
than I could really get over.
851
00:54:39,423 --> 00:54:41,063
[Piaf sings: "Mon Dieu] Any
way, do you know who this is?
852
00:54:41,192 --> 00:54:45,240
No, I...
I don't think so.
Edith Piaf.
853
00:54:45,363 --> 00:54:46,672
I taped it off PBS.
854
00:54:46,798 --> 00:54:51,273
[speaking French]
855
00:54:51,402 --> 00:54:52,746
I don't know what
the hell she's talking about
856
00:54:52,869 --> 00:54:55,853
but I got the words
and inflections down.
857
00:54:55,974 --> 00:54:59,550
So I decided to show up at
one of these orientation parties.
858
00:54:59,677 --> 00:55:01,922
[Student w/Ziggy Stardust Hair]
McLuhan... Platt
I'm telling you-
859
00:55:02,045 --> 00:55:05,223
It was a good test.
-he has said many a times, it's a wasteland.
860
00:55:05,349 --> 00:55:09,190
TV's a vast wasteland.
#I introduced myself as Pepe Le Mofo.
861
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:13,102
[Amine]
Who?
Pepe Le Mofo.
862
00:55:13,223 --> 00:55:17,773
I told them I was
a foreign exchange student
from Martinique.
863
00:55:17,895 --> 00:55:19,535
I didn't have the Piaf
completely memorized.
864
00:55:19,663 --> 00:55:21,702
But I figured if I got
lost in conversation
865
00:55:21,832 --> 00:55:25,313
I could always start
accusing people.
[Amina] Oh, I see.
866
00:55:25,435 --> 00:55:30,016
My faculty adviser,
Mr. Shaw,
he sat me down with a few students
867
00:55:30,140 --> 00:55:31,518
who claimed
they could speak French.
868
00:55:34,211 --> 00:55:37,354
Apre's moi, le deluge.
869
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:44,097
Apre's moi, le deluge.
870
00:55:44,221 --> 00:55:47,562
[Pamela Elaine]
Oui?
#They all thought I was French.
871
00:55:47,690 --> 00:55:49,501
Trying to pull out their
high school French.
872
00:55:52,129 --> 00:55:58,552
Everything was fine until
Raoul walked into the picture.
873
00:55:58,668 --> 00:56:02,381
Raoul was a real foreign
exchange student from Belgium.
874
00:56:02,505 --> 00:56:07,510
[speaking French]
875
00:56:25,862 --> 00:56:29,780
What the hell is
he talking about?
876
00:56:36,838 --> 00:56:41,049
Oui?
#No. Oui. No. Oui.
877
00:56:41,177 --> 00:56:44,627
[Raul]
No!
878
00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:50,332
How long do you think
you can keep this up?
879
00:56:50,452 --> 00:56:57,034
This French fagade?
880
00:56:57,158 --> 00:57:01,133
What are you going to do
while you're here?
881
00:57:01,262 --> 00:57:04,144
I'm going to crash
this costume ball,
882
00:57:04,265 --> 00:57:06,612
that's being given next week.
883
00:57:06,735 --> 00:57:09,445
It's being given in honor
of Fantomas Judex.
884
00:57:09,571 --> 00:57:13,351
- Fantomas Judex?
- Yeah, Fantomas Judex.
885
00:57:13,474 --> 00:57:16,788
The French rock group.
#French rock.
886
00:57:16,912 --> 00:57:21,493
Is it anything like
French kissing?
#You want to come?
887
00:57:21,616 --> 00:57:27,072
Oh, I've got 200 pages of
material to absorb every night
888
00:57:27,188 --> 00:57:29,568
for the next two weeks.
889
00:57:29,690 --> 00:57:34,075
But that sounds
very interesting.
890
00:57:34,195 --> 00:57:37,543
Douglas Street,
the chameleon
891
00:57:37,665 --> 00:57:41,109
at a masquerade ball.
#Yeah.
892
00:57:41,236 --> 00:57:44,116
I would like
to come with you.
#All right.
893
00:57:44,239 --> 00:57:47,949
Listen, I'm going
to come as the Beast.
#Excellent.
894
00:57:48,075 --> 00:57:50,484
You know,
from Beauty and the Beast
-the fairytale? - Yes, yes.
895
00:57:50,611 --> 00:57:51,852
It's typecasting.
896
00:57:51,979 --> 00:57:55,726
And you should
come as Beauty.
897
00:57:55,850 --> 00:57:59,564
Black Beauty.
#Black Beauty was a horse.
898
00:57:59,687 --> 00:58:03,201
Hmm-mm.
#Black Beauty is you.
899
00:58:03,323 --> 00:58:06,701
That's more typecasting.
#Remember that time we were in D.--
900
00:58:06,827 --> 00:58:10,369
oh, there's your earring.
#Remember that time we were in D.C.
901
00:58:10,497 --> 00:58:15,005
and those kids met us
on the street?
- Yes. - And they asked you
902
00:58:15,135 --> 00:58:19,485
-if you were the Black Barbie?
- I remember.
903
00:58:19,606 --> 00:58:22,388
But Doug...
#Hmm?
904
00:58:22,509 --> 00:58:26,051
Maybe Gabrielle should
come with you as Beauty.
905
00:58:35,121 --> 00:58:38,192
How did you know
I was married?
#Nancy Bankoff told me.
906
00:58:38,325 --> 00:58:41,707
Since I didn't receive
an invitation.
907
00:58:41,828 --> 00:58:45,301
Bankoff.
908
00:58:45,432 --> 00:58:50,785
Gabrielle wouldn't even
get a kick out of it.
909
00:58:50,904 --> 00:58:54,480
She'd probably say
it was against her religion
to attend a masquerade ball.
910
00:58:54,607 --> 00:58:57,089
What do you mean?
911
00:58:57,210 --> 00:59:04,135
Look...
There's a lot you don't know.
912
00:59:04,250 --> 00:59:07,564
Do you love her?
913
00:59:07,686 --> 00:59:12,261
'An-
heard a great quote the other day.
914
00:59:12,391 --> 00:59:16,537
Woman inspires man
to create masterpieces
915
00:59:16,662 --> 00:59:21,236
and then prevents him
from carrying them out.
#Who said that?
916
00:59:21,367 --> 00:59:25,947
Oscar Wilde.
#Maybe...
917
00:59:26,071 --> 00:59:29,782
The divine Oscar.
#...she doesn't understand what masterpiece
918
00:59:29,908 --> 00:59:32,858
you're trying to create, Doug.
919
00:59:32,978 --> 00:59:37,818
I'm not sure anybody understands
what you're doing.
#Least of all you.
920
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:42,531
Hey, if I didn't know
what I was doing,
I couldn't do what I am doing.
921
00:59:42,654 --> 00:59:43,929
True.
922
00:59:44,056 --> 00:59:48,008
But that still doesn't
explain what it is you want.
923
00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,267
Want?
924
00:59:50,395 --> 00:59:55,315
If all of my dreams of beauty
had been crazy-glued together
925
00:59:55,433 --> 01:00:00,786
into one perfect woman
she would have been like you.
926
01:00:00,906 --> 01:00:04,355
Perfect.
#Would you listen to what I'm saying?
927
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:09,918
Don't you know that all my life
I've been going out
928
01:00:10,048 --> 01:00:13,260
trying to find out
what this love's about?
929
01:00:13,385 --> 01:00:16,392
You're married.
930
01:00:16,521 --> 01:00:19,599
And that's what
divorce is for.
#Oh, no.
931
01:00:19,724 --> 01:00:22,640
To help you come up with
a definition of love?
932
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,371
Doug, that's like using
abortion as contraception.
933
01:00:26,498 --> 01:00:30,375
Hmm.
#You know, you're going to be a very good attorney.
934
01:00:30,501 --> 01:00:35,956
But could you like put down
the law books for a minute?
935
01:00:36,073 --> 01:00:39,421
Why don't you try and talk about
936
01:00:39,543 --> 01:00:43,997
what we can do in order
to stay together?
937
01:00:44,115 --> 01:00:47,022
Oh, Doug.
#Why don't you talk about that?
938
01:00:47,151 --> 01:00:50,064
Oh, Doug.
#Don't...
939
01:00:50,187 --> 01:00:56,907
That's what I want more
than anything in the world.
940
01:00:57,028 --> 01:00:58,976
Mmm-hmm?
941
01:00:59,096 --> 01:01:05,485
But in my heart I know
it will never happen now.
942
01:01:11,742 --> 01:01:13,485
Hmm...
I know.
943
01:01:13,977 --> 01:01:18,982
[music]
944
01:01:41,237 --> 01:01:43,344
This whole event is
being covered by cable.
945
01:01:49,512 --> 01:01:51,050
Look across the ballroom.
946
01:01:51,181 --> 01:01:55,458
See that huge projection
of David's masterpiece?
'Marat Assassinated.'
947
01:01:55,585 --> 01:01:57,464
The band members have
all taken famous names
948
01:01:57,587 --> 01:01:59,227
from the French Revolution.
949
01:01:59,355 --> 01:02:01,394
The one who calls himself
Robespierre, that's him--
950
01:02:01,524 --> 01:02:05,442
He keeps encouraging the crowd
to chant Marat! Marat!
951
01:02:05,561 --> 01:02:07,338
Like Marat was
some kind of hero.
952
01:02:07,463 --> 01:02:10,913
These people don't even know
they're cheering a psychotic.
953
01:02:11,033 --> 01:02:13,880
Long live lemmings!!
954
01:02:33,488 --> 01:02:37,938
Belle...
Je vous aime, Belle.
#Gar�on!
955
01:02:43,565 --> 01:02:47,849
Yes, sir.
#I need a straw.
956
01:02:47,969 --> 01:02:51,512
To drink le champagne, oui?
#A straw.
957
01:02:51,639 --> 01:02:55,386
I will see what I can do.
958
01:02:55,510 --> 01:02:58,083
Merci beaucoup.
[tosses nickel onto tray] Va!
959
01:02:58,212 --> 01:03:02,629
Acc�l�r�.
#Va...
960
01:03:02,750 --> 01:03:07,755
[speaking French]
961
01:03:14,428 --> 01:03:18,145
Merci.
Merci.
Merci tr�s bien.
962
01:03:18,266 --> 01:03:21,482
What did he say?
#How much did you give him?
963
01:03:21,602 --> 01:03:24,076
Five cents.
#I'm cheap.
964
01:03:24,205 --> 01:03:26,952
But I have class.
#What did he say?
965
01:03:27,074 --> 01:03:31,584
Roughly translated,
and I quote, "You skinflint,
966
01:03:31,712 --> 01:03:37,600
you can take that straw
and go suck lukewarm cat's piss,
967
01:03:37,718 --> 01:03:41,465
you transvestite," unquote.
968
01:03:41,588 --> 01:03:46,235
Oh, I wish I could
speak French like that.
969
01:03:54,735 --> 01:03:55,874
An old fag.
970
01:03:59,105 --> 01:04:00,984
The guy who helped me
with my costume and makeup
971
01:04:01,108 --> 01:04:05,482
also ran lights
up in the security booth,
Jack Pierce.
972
01:04:05,613 --> 01:04:07,720
He let us kick back
there for a while.
973
01:04:12,585 --> 01:04:15,296
Comb my face, baby.
974
01:04:15,422 --> 01:04:19,933
�Jung
975
01:04:20,060 --> 01:04:24,877
Good.
976
01:04:24,998 --> 01:04:28,505
Open your mouth.
977
01:04:28,635 --> 01:04:32,109
My, what long fangs
you've got.
978
01:04:32,239 --> 01:04:36,123
The better to gnaw you with,
my dear.
979
01:04:36,243 --> 01:04:38,087
And a lot of fillings, too.
980
01:04:42,482 --> 01:04:45,557
More...more.
981
01:04:45,685 --> 01:04:50,000
And try and get it in
my mouth next time.
#I'm trying.
982
01:04:50,122 --> 01:04:50,396
Oh...
983
01:04:54,727 --> 01:04:56,640
�Jung
984
01:05:07,473 --> 01:05:10,552
I'm happy-
Oh my god.
985
01:05:27,326 --> 01:05:29,867
Uh-oh.
#Minute's up.
986
01:05:29,995 --> 01:05:31,442
What?
987
01:05:31,563 --> 01:05:36,541
Happiness flies when
Gabrielle arrives.
#Gabrielle!
988
01:05:36,668 --> 01:05:39,679
Mmm-hmm.
#That's Gabrielle?
989
01:05:39,805 --> 01:05:40,944
Gabrielle.
990
01:05:47,245 --> 01:05:52,199
Do you think
she'll recognize you?
991
01:05:52,317 --> 01:05:53,388
I'm going to find out.
992
01:05:56,154 --> 01:05:58,602
I abandoned Amina.
993
01:05:58,724 --> 01:06:03,040
I haven't seen or heard
from her since.
994
01:06:03,161 --> 01:06:07,671
But I still see that look.
995
01:06:07,798 --> 01:06:09,541
Still see that face.
996
01:06:24,349 --> 01:06:28,829
She doesn't recognize me.
Or does she?
997
01:06:28,953 --> 01:06:33,958
[music]
998
01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:56,854
By the time
the dance was over
999
01:06:56,981 --> 01:06:59,088
I could tell
she didn't know who I was.
1000
01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:02,632
Enchant� yourself, Belle.
1001
01:07:05,455 --> 01:07:08,799
My name is Gabrielle Street.
#What's yours?
1002
01:07:08,925 --> 01:07:11,568
[Master of Ceremonies]
Ladies and gentlemen-
1003
01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:15,272
may I have your
attention please.
1004
01:07:15,399 --> 01:07:21,686
The time has come
to announce our winner.
1005
01:07:21,805 --> 01:07:25,780
And the winner is Douglas Street
for his costume of the Beast
1006
01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:30,382
and Amina Tatiana for her
costume of Beauty.
#Let's get them up here on stage.
1007
01:07:30,513 --> 01:07:33,189
Doug won.
Where is he?
#My husband won first prize.
1008
01:07:33,316 --> 01:07:38,099
[applause]
Amina Tatiana?
1009
01:07:38,220 --> 01:07:41,168
Who is Amina Tatiana?
#Doug?
1010
01:07:44,693 --> 01:07:45,935
Doug, is that you?
1011
01:07:59,375 --> 01:08:02,021
I don't know you
and I know you don't know me.
1012
01:08:02,145 --> 01:08:05,850
so let's agree to disagree
if you want.
But as far as I'm concerned
1013
01:08:05,981 --> 01:08:08,156
most people have maybe
two or three great moments
1014
01:08:08,284 --> 01:08:11,697
in their entire lives.
So, get it right.
1015
01:08:11,820 --> 01:08:14,326
If the moment calls,
give me the phone.
1016
01:08:14,457 --> 01:08:18,733
If the moment drops by tonight,
show him in.
Make him comfortable.
1017
01:08:18,861 --> 01:08:20,273
Set him up in the easy chair,
give him a cup of coffee
1018
01:08:20,395 --> 01:08:22,468
because I am definitely
into the moment.
1019
01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:27,603
[cheering]
1020
01:08:47,722 --> 01:08:52,267
He told me
"I didn't sleep with Amina."
I told him, "That's a lie.
1021
01:08:52,394 --> 01:08:55,503
I can see by the way your nose
is flaring you a lie."
1022
01:08:55,630 --> 01:08:57,873
I agreed to nine months
of marriage counseling.
1023
01:08:57,999 --> 01:09:01,743
Gabrielle got a few things
off her chest.
...Bastard.
1024
01:09:01,869 --> 01:09:06,787
Answer me.
Answer me.
#Do I love her? Do I love her?
1025
01:09:06,908 --> 01:09:09,288
Do I love her?
1026
01:09:09,411 --> 01:09:12,452
There are men coming up
to me all the time.
1027
01:09:12,580 --> 01:09:14,562
They offer me everything.
1028
01:09:14,682 --> 01:09:18,223
Clothes, trips, jewelry.
1029
01:09:18,352 --> 01:09:23,067
She never cheated on me.
#And she could have.
1030
01:09:23,190 --> 01:09:25,867
Time...
- And time... - And time...
1031
01:09:25,993 --> 01:09:30,208
- Again.
- Again.
#That hurt me so bad.
1032
01:09:30,330 --> 01:09:33,907
Don't get me wrong because
I love my daughter very much.
1033
01:09:34,035 --> 01:09:41,790
It just hurt me when
she had the baby like that
1034
01:09:41,908 --> 01:09:43,912
because I wasn't ready.
1035
01:09:44,044 --> 01:09:47,757
I know I wasn't ready.
I said then I wasn't ready.
1036
01:09:47,881 --> 01:09:49,692
And she's gonna
make me be ready
1037
01:09:49,816 --> 01:09:55,636
by having the baby
behind my back?
1038
01:09:55,756 --> 01:10:00,569
They say marriages
break down in bed first.
#Ours didn't.
1039
01:10:00,694 --> 01:10:04,844
After we were married
we went to visit my aunt in Burbank, California and...
1040
01:10:04,965 --> 01:10:06,969
we went on the Newlywed Game.
1041
01:10:07,100 --> 01:10:09,549
We couldn't keep our hands off
each other for the whole show.
1042
01:10:09,670 --> 01:10:12,414
That's just the way we are.
1043
01:10:12,539 --> 01:10:15,216
I think our sex life
is really outstanding.
1044
01:10:15,342 --> 01:10:18,884
Even though he does have
this little problem
1045
01:10:19,012 --> 01:10:22,987
with premature ejaculation.
1046
01:10:23,116 --> 01:10:24,961
Diarrhea of the mouth.
1047
01:10:34,210 --> 01:10:36,385
You know
I got three little letters
1048
01:10:36,512 --> 01:10:41,967
that'll solve all your problems,
A-D-C.
1049
01:10:42,084 --> 01:10:45,892
You hurt my feelings.
#That's what they're for.
1050
01:10:46,021 --> 01:10:49,062
You damn bastard.
You no good asshole.
1051
01:10:49,191 --> 01:10:52,540
I don't believe you.
1052
01:10:52,662 --> 01:10:55,338
Are you through?
1053
01:10:55,465 --> 01:10:59,472
What, are you through?
#You don't have to go the gym today.
1054
01:10:59,602 --> 01:11:02,312
You just worked out.
1055
01:11:06,008 --> 01:11:07,785
Play 509
and box it.
1056
01:11:16,551 --> 01:11:19,433
I need more toys.
1057
01:11:19,554 --> 01:11:21,661
I need more toys!
1058
01:11:28,463 --> 01:11:34,647
Hi, Doug.
[Swahili language]
1059
01:11:53,254 --> 01:11:55,732
There you go.
#New toy. Black Barbie.
1060
01:12:10,939 --> 01:12:13,681
Happy now?
#Gabrielle insisted that my work
1061
01:12:13,807 --> 01:12:15,379
with the Detroit Human
Rights Commission
1062
01:12:15,509 --> 01:12:18,289
earned me a six figure salary.
That's ridiculous.
1063
01:12:18,412 --> 01:12:19,721
It was volunteer work.
1064
01:12:19,847 --> 01:12:21,829
Would I go to a blood bank
every Tuesday and Friday
1065
01:12:21,949 --> 01:12:23,589
if I had big bucks?
1066
01:12:23,717 --> 01:12:25,289
[Curtis' voice] You know,
you could sell your blood.
1067
01:12:25,419 --> 01:12:27,666
Eight dollars a pint.
I've done it.
1068
01:12:27,788 --> 01:12:28,790
I'll never get that low.
1069
01:12:28,922 --> 01:12:33,572
I'll never get that low.
I'll never get that low.
Well, did you get it?
1070
01:12:33,694 --> 01:12:36,741
What do you think?
#No?
1071
01:12:36,864 --> 01:12:39,242
Yeah, four or five.
#Fifty.
1072
01:12:39,366 --> 01:12:43,009
That was good work
last night, Doug.
#Thank you very much.
1073
01:12:48,108 --> 01:12:49,885
Let me introduce
my new associates.
1074
01:12:50,010 --> 01:12:52,687
That's Brian Whitaker,
a scholar and a gentleman.
1075
01:12:52,813 --> 01:12:55,392
Brian tried to help me out
in the end.
Vitamin C.
1076
01:12:55,515 --> 01:12:58,856
Goes out when you pee.
#And that was the voice of Roddy Pettigrew
1077
01:12:58,986 --> 01:13:03,100
in whom both
the ass and the hole
meet in perfect union.
1078
01:13:03,223 --> 01:13:07,035
Vitamin E.
#Makes me sexy.
1079
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:09,835
Hmm.
Take a lot of those.
#A lot.
1080
01:13:09,962 --> 01:13:12,640
But that doesn't
necessarily mean
we're going to win this case.
1081
01:13:12,766 --> 01:13:15,545
Mr. Marshall himself.
1082
01:13:15,668 --> 01:13:19,313
They're sending over
four corporate attorneys
1083
01:13:19,439 --> 01:13:25,885
to meet with you to discuss
their client's position.
1084
01:13:26,012 --> 01:13:30,689
Tomorrow at ten-thirty.
#You're going to enjoy this one, Doug.
1085
01:13:32,185 --> 01:13:35,434
Hmm.
Is that a promise or a threat?
1086
01:13:44,030 --> 01:13:46,308
Mr. Street?
#Speak on it, Mary.
1087
01:13:46,432 --> 01:13:49,674
Your ten-thirty
appointment has arrived.
#Oh, is that so?
1088
01:13:49,802 --> 01:13:52,248
Yes, they're here.
#Well, that's fine.
1089
01:13:52,371 --> 01:13:54,877
Take them
into the conference room,
give them some coffee,
1090
01:13:55,007 --> 01:13:59,989
put out the peacock tongue dip
and the gefilte fish.
#Follow me, gentlemen.
1091
01:14:00,112 --> 01:14:04,023
[knocking]
Yeah?
1092
01:14:04,150 --> 01:14:07,259
How long are you going
to keep these men waiting?
1093
01:14:07,386 --> 01:14:09,994
Five more minutes.
1094
01:14:10,121 --> 01:14:12,730
- They've already been waiting.
- Five minutes.
1095
01:14:12,858 --> 01:14:17,035
That's right.
#Another five minutes will make it...
1096
01:14:17,162 --> 01:14:19,375
Ten.
#That's right, Mary.
1097
01:14:19,498 --> 01:14:20,135
Can't fool you.
1098
01:14:32,978 --> 01:14:36,425
To an amicable settlement.
- Toast. - Cheers.
1099
01:14:36,547 --> 01:14:40,723
Cheers.
#Everything I did at this luncheon
1100
01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:43,357
was calculated to give me
the psychological edge.
1101
01:14:45,790 --> 01:14:48,205
They each ordered
at least two drinks.
1102
01:14:48,326 --> 01:14:49,931
I ordered but I didn't drink.
1103
01:14:51,863 --> 01:14:56,317
The Chopin lulled them while
the alcohol dulled them.
1104
01:15:01,606 --> 01:15:05,050
I'll have beefsteak tartar.
#Would you care for anything to drink, sir?
1105
01:15:05,175 --> 01:15:06,520
Chablis.
1106
01:15:06,644 --> 01:15:10,494
Meanwhile, I quickly
analyzed my opposition.
1107
01:15:10,615 --> 01:15:13,998
That's Barrett on the right.
He's the head honcho...
1108
01:15:14,118 --> 01:15:18,195
made it to the top and
he's still dissatisfied.
1109
01:15:18,322 --> 01:15:19,199
He's got an ulcer,
1110
01:15:19,323 --> 01:15:22,000
which is why he went to the
bathroom about four times.
1111
01:15:22,126 --> 01:15:25,474
That's Jack Griffin,
Barrett's hatchet man.
1112
01:15:25,596 --> 01:15:29,839
You don't play with him.
Oh, yeah, this guy.
1113
01:15:29,967 --> 01:15:31,447
I didn't catch his name.
1114
01:15:31,568 --> 01:15:34,815
I think they brought this guy
along to be a distraction.
1115
01:15:34,939 --> 01:15:39,519
Came straight
from the dentist.
#That so?
1116
01:15:39,643 --> 01:15:42,358
Had my teeth cleaned.
#[Jack Griffin] Oh... that so?
1117
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:43,083
I have an appointment
1118
01:15:43,213 --> 01:15:48,099
at the tanning spa
tomorrow morning at six.
1119
01:15:48,219 --> 01:15:50,730
That so?
#Hmm?
1120
01:15:50,854 --> 01:15:54,634
Did you say the tanning spa?
#Yes.
1121
01:15:54,758 --> 01:15:59,666
Which one do you go to?
#Golden Tones in Briarwood.
1122
01:15:59,796 --> 01:16:02,572
Hmm.
#Is it very expensive?
1123
01:16:02,699 --> 01:16:07,049
Uh...yes actually.
1124
01:16:07,170 --> 01:16:11,251
If you're interested I can
get you a free guest pass.
#Oh, no. No.
1125
01:16:11,374 --> 01:16:14,723
I was just doing
a little research.
1126
01:16:14,844 --> 01:16:16,518
On what?
1127
01:16:16,647 --> 01:16:20,097
White people.
1128
01:16:20,216 --> 01:16:24,134
It amazes me that
whites avidly seek after
1129
01:16:24,253 --> 01:16:26,496
all the accoutrements
of black style.
1130
01:16:26,622 --> 01:16:30,973
You pickle your bodies in
gallons of tanning lotion.
1131
01:16:31,094 --> 01:16:34,544
You broil your pale flesh brown
in the tanning spas
1132
01:16:34,663 --> 01:16:36,702
at great expense.
1133
01:16:36,832 --> 01:16:41,479
And all the while maintaining
such a marvelous contempt
1134
01:16:41,604 --> 01:16:44,816
for black people.
1135
01:16:44,940 --> 01:16:49,051
Oh, you wily Caucasians.
1136
01:16:54,950 --> 01:16:56,157
Here's to you.
1137
01:17:01,857 --> 01:17:03,634
Yep... mm hm.
1138
01:17:10,032 --> 01:17:13,279
Well, I'll tell you,
you were phenomenal.
#You absolutely were phenomenal.
1139
01:17:13,401 --> 01:17:16,442
Well...
#I love the way you handled those corporate attorneys.
1140
01:17:16,571 --> 01:17:18,981
Four corporate attorneys.
- Four. - Like a pro.
1141
01:17:19,107 --> 01:17:22,324
Four.
Count 'em, four.
#Like a pro. And I...
1142
01:17:22,444 --> 01:17:25,014
I really liked the
eye-to-eye contact.
#Very impressive.
1143
01:17:25,147 --> 01:17:28,429
That's all part of
people skills, you know.
#Very impressive. Absolutely.
1144
01:17:28,550 --> 01:17:31,429
If you're going to have
any influence.
#Morning, Mr. Marshall.
1145
01:17:31,553 --> 01:17:34,162
Yeah.
#If you're going to have any influence on someone
1146
01:17:34,289 --> 01:17:36,237
you've got to know how
to press their button.
1147
01:17:36,358 --> 01:17:39,369
By the way, have you
noticed how Roddy has been
in the morning?
1148
01:17:39,494 --> 01:17:41,901
He's been real nervous.
#Roddy?
1149
01:17:42,030 --> 01:17:45,076
- Yeah, he's...
- How did you notice that?
#Well, he used to pop those vitamins
1150
01:17:45,199 --> 01:17:50,014
and now he's into
these Rolaids and Tums.
#[laughing]
1151
01:17:50,138 --> 01:17:52,443
Well, the strain.
#The strain at the top.
1152
01:17:53,941 --> 01:17:56,116
My work as attorney
for the D.H.R.C. carried me
1153
01:17:56,243 --> 01:17:59,990
to considerably
higher echelons of power.
1154
01:18:00,114 --> 01:18:02,153
Hobnobbing with
his honor Mayor Coleman Young
1155
01:18:02,283 --> 01:18:06,559
was an honor in itself.
- How you doing today, Doug? - Fine, sir, fine.
1156
01:18:06,687 --> 01:18:09,068
How about yourself?
#My connection with Mayor Young was tenuous
1157
01:18:09,190 --> 01:18:13,270
but he did remember my name.
No complaints. Try me tomorrow.
1158
01:18:13,394 --> 01:18:15,740
Right.
Very good.
1159
01:18:15,862 --> 01:18:18,972
Well, you know politics
might be interesting.
1160
01:18:19,100 --> 01:18:22,346
'Politricks.'
1161
01:18:22,469 --> 01:18:26,217
Every evening found me
working late.
But do I mind?
1162
01:18:31,945 --> 01:18:34,451
Reviewing video depositions
is easy.
1163
01:18:34,582 --> 01:18:36,393
Renewing broken lines
of communication
1164
01:18:36,517 --> 01:18:40,992
between a husband and wife,
now that's hard.
1165
01:18:41,121 --> 01:18:44,200
Little things
like pancake syrup
get in the way.
1166
01:18:44,324 --> 01:18:48,641
I didn't tell you
to put that much syrup on.
#Well, I thought you'd like it.
1167
01:18:48,762 --> 01:18:50,744
That's why I added extra.
1168
01:18:52,866 --> 01:18:55,814
[knocking]
I have a general rule of thumb.
1169
01:18:55,936 --> 01:18:58,009
Avoid answering the door
whenever possible.
1170
01:19:01,574 --> 01:19:05,917
How do you do?
#Is Mr. William Douglas Street Junior at home?
1171
01:19:06,046 --> 01:19:08,719
Yes.
#And may that be you, sir?
1172
01:19:08,848 --> 01:19:12,962
Yes.
#May we come in for a little musical confection, sir?
1173
01:19:17,890 --> 01:19:21,935
Yeah.
#Then this is for you.
1174
01:19:27,232 --> 01:19:30,376
[singing] This message of
music is for your amusement
1175
01:19:30,503 --> 01:19:33,111
is a happy anniversary.
1176
01:19:33,238 --> 01:19:35,778
I'm wishing you the best.
1177
01:19:35,908 --> 01:19:40,657
And a happy anniversary,
oh yeah.
Through all of the madness.
1178
01:19:40,780 --> 01:19:45,228
I shall cherish the gladness
that your love has given to me.
1179
01:19:45,350 --> 01:19:50,265
so deep,
do sweet, so right.
For a happy anniversary.
1180
01:19:50,389 --> 01:19:53,532
Happy anniversary.
1181
01:19:53,658 --> 01:20:01,312
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
1182
01:20:01,433 --> 01:20:06,114
Here's to your future,
my love.
1183
01:20:06,238 --> 01:20:09,952
Tomorrow...
I remember the first moment Gabrielle realized it
1184
01:20:10,074 --> 01:20:13,457
was not our anniversary.
1185
01:20:13,578 --> 01:20:18,583
[singing] ...anniversaries
are the time to be in love.
1186
01:20:24,889 --> 01:20:32,075
Anniversaries are the time
to be in love.
1187
01:20:32,196 --> 01:20:36,707
Signed T.R.!
1188
01:20:36,835 --> 01:20:39,340
Amina.
1189
01:20:39,470 --> 01:20:44,079
Hey, babe.
#I wonder how long Gabrielle's going to stay locked up
1190
01:20:44,209 --> 01:20:46,521
in the bathroom this time?
1191
01:20:46,644 --> 01:20:49,218
God, this marriage
has gone sour.
1192
01:20:49,347 --> 01:20:54,199
Sour like cottage cheese
gone bad.
1193
01:20:54,318 --> 01:20:57,598
There's too much tension
around here.
1194
01:20:57,721 --> 01:21:00,500
And tension kills.
1195
01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:05,375
No matter what I do,
she's steady on my case.
1196
01:21:05,496 --> 01:21:09,706
All she does
is nag, nag, nag.
Get a job, get a life.
1197
01:21:09,834 --> 01:21:11,178
Get 6 grip-
1198
01:21:11,302 --> 01:21:17,349
Yeah, grip this.
1199
01:21:17,475 --> 01:21:20,948
I know she's
gonna like this toy.
1200
01:21:21,078 --> 01:21:25,292
It's really gonna add
some spice to the game.
1201
01:21:25,415 --> 01:21:30,130
I wonder how much Darren
shelled out for this.
1202
01:21:30,253 --> 01:21:33,465
Oh god, Gabrielle
is such a drag.
1203
01:21:33,590 --> 01:21:37,808
The only game she
wants to play is gimme.
Gimme money, gimme a car.
1204
01:21:37,928 --> 01:21:39,937
Gimme Godiva chocolate.
Gimme perfume.
1205
01:21:40,063 --> 01:21:41,338
Gimme clothes.
1206
01:21:41,465 --> 01:21:46,044
Gimme a break.
1207
01:21:46,169 --> 01:21:48,676
Danielle's getting to be
just like her.
Gimme games.
1208
01:21:48,805 --> 01:21:50,752
Gimme toys.
Gimme dance lessons.
1209
01:21:50,873 --> 01:21:52,980
Gimme Ken.
Gimme Barbie.
1210
01:21:55,378 --> 01:21:59,956
Danielle?
1211
01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:01,757
Danielle.
1212
01:22:04,688 --> 01:22:13,515
[Laughs]
1213
01:22:13,630 --> 01:22:17,171
Time to play.
1214
01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:22,050
Danielle.
1215
01:22:22,171 --> 01:22:24,312
Come to Papa...!
1216
01:22:25,574 --> 01:22:30,579
[nursery music]
1217
01:22:48,830 --> 01:22:52,372
[growls]
1218
01:22:52,501 --> 01:22:57,387
Now, I'm going to kill.
1219
01:22:57,506 --> 01:23:01,046
Yes.
#Yes...
1220
01:23:11,754 --> 01:23:15,262
Daddy look,
it's blood.
#Uh-huh.
1221
01:23:21,796 --> 01:23:25,338
Oh, daddy,
why you do that?
1222
01:23:25,467 --> 01:23:29,812
Because I'm sick...
#Sick?
1223
01:23:29,937 --> 01:23:33,184
I'm so sick.
1224
01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:39,025
I'm so screwed up.
1225
01:23:39,147 --> 01:23:45,468
I am so insane.
1226
01:23:45,586 --> 01:23:49,800
Does that tickle?
1227
01:23:49,924 --> 01:23:53,103
Does that tickle
right there?
#[Gabrielle] Why you two so quiet out there?
1228
01:23:53,227 --> 01:23:55,206
Tell me.
#Tell me really.
1229
01:23:55,329 --> 01:23:58,969
Does it tickle like that?
#A-ha!
1230
01:23:59,099 --> 01:24:05,488
Well, what about if we
tickle like this.
1231
01:24:05,606 --> 01:24:09,923
Oh...ow.
#Doug, what is goin' on.
1232
01:24:10,044 --> 01:24:13,921
What do you think you're doing?
#Here, let me wipe that blood off your neck.
1233
01:24:14,048 --> 01:24:16,656
I'm sick and tired of trying
to get these stains out.
1234
01:24:16,783 --> 01:24:19,892
Oh, mommy,
you messed up the game.
1235
01:24:20,020 --> 01:24:22,798
And you daddy messed up
more laundry.
1236
01:24:22,922 --> 01:24:24,835
Come on, it's time for you
to go to bed anyway.
1237
01:24:24,958 --> 01:24:27,100
And Doug, it's time for you
to go to the asylum.
1238
01:24:27,227 --> 01:24:29,003
This is the stuff
that washes out.
1239
01:24:29,129 --> 01:24:34,379
Yeah, and I'm the one
that's gotta wash it out.
1240
01:24:34,501 --> 01:24:36,842
Night 'babe.
#Night.
1241
01:24:42,842 --> 01:24:44,448
That night in bed
I suddenly realized
1242
01:24:44,578 --> 01:24:48,461
she hadn't mentioned
money once.
1243
01:24:48,582 --> 01:24:52,425
She was finally
accepting the fact
that money wasn't everything.
1244
01:24:52,553 --> 01:24:54,295
And even if it was,
I didn't have any.
1245
01:24:58,558 --> 01:25:03,069
Babe...
#Hmm?
1246
01:25:03,196 --> 01:25:07,912
What?
#Can you see my eyes moving under my eyelids?
1247
01:25:08,034 --> 01:25:12,448
Yes, I can.
#Babe...
1248
01:25:12,571 --> 01:25:14,280
What?
1249
01:25:14,407 --> 01:25:18,416
If you act real nice
I'll let you kiss my booty.
1250
01:25:18,544 --> 01:25:21,824
Promises, promises.
1251
01:25:21,947 --> 01:25:24,191
Hmm, babe.
1252
01:25:24,317 --> 01:25:27,756
Your socks are kickin'.
#Kickin?
1253
01:25:27,886 --> 01:25:30,262
Kickin' with what?
#With odor.
1254
01:25:30,389 --> 01:25:36,937
Oh.
[laughs]
1255
01:25:37,062 --> 01:25:40,444
The next day
I went to work fortified.
1256
01:25:40,566 --> 01:25:44,582
September 12, 1985.
And I want to be very clear about this.
1257
01:25:44,703 --> 01:25:49,019
I am sitting on top of the
oyster that is my world.
1258
01:25:49,141 --> 01:25:53,218
I'm so happy all of my feelings
are registering as cliches.
1259
01:25:53,345 --> 01:25:56,591
I've got a song in my heart,
love on my lips.
1260
01:25:56,714 --> 01:26:00,828
Stuff like that.
I was totally accepted by the commission.
1261
01:26:00,953 --> 01:26:03,060
In fact, Mr. Marshall
called me a godsend
1262
01:26:03,188 --> 01:26:04,896
in front of the whole staff
one day.
1263
01:26:05,023 --> 01:26:09,442
Speak on it, Mary.
1264
01:26:09,561 --> 01:26:14,546
Coffee's here. Would you
care for a sweet roll?
#Cut the sweet roll, Mary.
1265
01:26:14,666 --> 01:26:18,541
Who needs six hundred
empty calories?
#Send the coffee in this vicinity.
1266
01:26:18,670 --> 01:26:22,948
Over and out.
#Thank you.
1267
01:26:23,074 --> 01:26:25,181
Who knows?
1268
01:26:25,309 --> 01:26:28,590
Things might even work out
between Gabrielle and me.
1269
01:26:28,713 --> 01:26:31,590
I hadn't told her
that Mr. Marshall
was about to put me on payroll.
1270
01:26:31,716 --> 01:26:34,632
That was going
to be a surprise.
1271
01:26:37,221 --> 01:26:39,727
Some people call me
Mr. Wonderful.
1272
01:26:39,857 --> 01:26:43,430
Other people call me wonderful.
#Close friends call me...
1273
01:26:43,561 --> 01:26:45,466
Doug
Yeah, yeah.
1274
01:26:45,596 --> 01:26:48,670
They call me that too.
#William Douglas Street, Junior.
1275
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:51,282
Born in a log cabin
in the back woods of Kentucky,
1276
01:26:51,402 --> 01:26:55,443
young Douglas soon
elevated himself
from field hand to tiger.
1277
01:26:55,573 --> 01:26:59,014
From tiger to reporter.
#And from reporter to doctor.
1278
01:26:59,143 --> 01:27:01,418
From doctor to co-ed.
#From co-ed to attorney.
1279
01:27:01,545 --> 01:27:05,224
From attorney to...congressman.
1280
01:27:05,349 --> 01:27:08,424
From congressman to president.
1281
01:27:08,552 --> 01:27:12,291
I could play president.
- Doug. - Huh?
1282
01:27:12,423 --> 01:27:15,839
There's a state Marshall in
the outer office asking for you.
1283
01:27:15,959 --> 01:27:19,341
He has thirty armed policeman
with him.
1284
01:27:21,398 --> 01:27:24,405
[laughs]
1285
01:27:24,535 --> 01:27:27,747
- You are joking.
- No.
1286
01:27:27,871 --> 01:27:30,946
[phone rings]
1287
01:27:31,074 --> 01:27:35,685
Yes, Mary.
#Mr. Street, there are several gentlemen here to see you.
1288
01:27:35,812 --> 01:27:38,960
This is a warrant.
Where's his office?
I'll be right out.
1289
01:27:46,222 --> 01:27:50,535
Fire exit.
#Yeah...
1290
01:28:04,374 --> 01:28:06,822
[knocking]
1291
01:28:06,942 --> 01:28:10,758
William Douglas Street?
1292
01:28:10,880 --> 01:28:13,820
Don't forget the junior.
#I have a warrant here for your arrest.
1293
01:28:19,188 --> 01:28:20,760
Would you step
over here please?
1294
01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:29,844
Put your hands
against the wall.
#Let's get rid of the cigarette.
1295
01:28:46,047 --> 01:28:48,587
Doug, is there anyone
you'd like me to call?
1296
01:28:48,717 --> 01:28:53,762
Yeah, I'd appreciate it
if you'd call my wife.
1297
01:28:53,889 --> 01:28:59,436
The number
is IV-6- 3600.
1298
01:28:59,561 --> 01:29:03,843
Gabrielle Street.
1299
01:29:03,965 --> 01:29:07,946
Tell her...
#Where you've been taken.
1300
01:29:08,069 --> 01:29:12,417
Yeah, I don't know...
#Where are you taking me?
1301
01:29:12,540 --> 01:29:14,522
You don't have to worry
about contacting your wife.
1302
01:29:14,643 --> 01:29:16,886
She knows where
you're being taken.
1303
01:29:17,011 --> 01:29:21,224
She's in contact with us.
#Gabrielle?
1304
01:29:21,349 --> 01:29:25,623
I do love you, Doug.
#Gabrielle?
1305
01:29:25,753 --> 01:29:29,000
I do love you, Doug.
1306
01:29:29,124 --> 01:29:31,231
I do, I do,
I do love you Doug.
1307
01:29:31,359 --> 01:29:36,005
[laughs]
1308
01:29:36,131 --> 01:29:40,849
Oh...
#Freud spent a lifetime searching for an answer to the question
1309
01:29:40,968 --> 01:29:44,809
what does woman want?
#He died never having found the answer.
1310
01:29:44,938 --> 01:29:47,646
But I've got the answer.
#I know what woman wants.
1311
01:29:47,775 --> 01:29:51,583
And it's not pantyhose either.
#It's blood.
1312
01:29:51,712 --> 01:29:56,593
I do love you, Doug.
#[laughs]
1313
01:30:00,287 --> 01:30:04,132
Shall we go?
#I'd like to take something with me?
1314
01:30:04,257 --> 01:30:06,102
What's that?
1315
01:30:06,226 --> 01:30:10,768
Those two books on my desk
by the lamp.
#All right.
1316
01:30:19,106 --> 01:30:24,111
[music]
1317
01:30:55,174 --> 01:30:59,520
Once upon a time
it rained nine or ten,
maybe nine inches in the forest.
1318
01:30:59,646 --> 01:31:04,196
And a lot of the pathways
that the animals used
for walking around were flooded.
1319
01:31:04,317 --> 01:31:08,659
Have you got that?
#So like, it's a major disaster area.
1320
01:31:08,787 --> 01:31:11,569
And...
#and the scorpion, you see, he...
1321
01:31:11,690 --> 01:31:14,471
he's searching
for some way...
#Any
1322
01:31:14,593 --> 01:31:17,907
...to get across
the stream,
which was now very much like a river
1323
01:31:18,031 --> 01:31:20,309
because of the heavy
precipitation.
1324
01:31:20,432 --> 01:31:22,345
Now, the scorpion, being
a scorpion, couldn't swim.
1325
01:31:22,468 --> 01:31:25,706
And he was standing by the edge
of the water talking about...
#Uh-oh.
1326
01:31:25,837 --> 01:31:29,544
The scorpion felt
enormous psychological and...
#...psychosomatic pressure.
1327
01:31:29,675 --> 01:31:33,716
How can he ever get
across the surging river
and skedaddle back home to his mom
1328
01:31:33,845 --> 01:31:36,259
and his dad and his apartment
and his 45s
1329
01:31:36,382 --> 01:31:40,023
and his personal computer
and his destiny.
#Which is to sting your ass.
1330
01:31:41,319 --> 01:31:46,136
Ow.
#In any case, the scorpion is so worried he's beside himself,
1331
01:31:46,257 --> 01:31:49,067
his favorite position.
#And then all at once a frog appeared
1332
01:31:49,194 --> 01:31:52,506
alongside the scorpion.
#And the frog said...
1333
01:31:52,630 --> 01:31:55,411
The rain was truly radical.
#I'll see you later.
1334
01:31:55,533 --> 01:31:57,014
And then the scorpion said,
wait a minute, wait a minute,
1335
01:31:57,135 --> 01:31:59,106
wait a minute, wait a minute.
#Yes.
1336
01:31:59,237 --> 01:32:01,543
How are you
going to get across?
#And the frog said...
1337
01:32:01,672 --> 01:32:06,087
I'm going to swim across.
#So...
1338
01:32:06,211 --> 01:32:10,358
The scorpion brightened
up considerably
because he had an idea.
1339
01:32:10,482 --> 01:32:13,491
Okay, frog.
#You give me a ride on your back.
1340
01:32:13,618 --> 01:32:17,257
When we get to the other side,
I'll reimburse you with some chips.
1341
01:32:17,389 --> 01:32:20,896
I got your chip.
#But the frog wasn't exactly a moron.
1342
01:32:21,025 --> 01:32:23,669
The frog was stupid.
#He said...
1343
01:32:23,795 --> 01:32:27,039
I'm comatose.
#How are you?
1344
01:32:27,164 --> 01:32:30,747
And the frog said...
#...if I give you a ride you'll sting me and I'll die.
1345
01:32:30,868 --> 01:32:33,407
And then everybody will come
to my funeral and say,
1346
01:32:33,538 --> 01:32:37,445
"He really was a moron,
wasn't he?"
And the scorpion said...
1347
01:32:37,575 --> 01:32:40,050
Trust me.
#Yeah, right.
1348
01:32:41,545 --> 01:32:43,755
You know you can trust me.
1349
01:32:43,881 --> 01:32:48,727
Why would I sting you
when you're saving my life?
#The frog stopped and thought.
1350
01:32:48,853 --> 01:32:53,034
The scorpion's logic
was irrefutable.
#Even Mr. Spock couldn't argue with that.
1351
01:32:53,157 --> 01:32:55,264
It would be crazy to bite
the hand that fed you.
1352
01:32:55,392 --> 01:32:58,941
Or in this case
sting the back that bore you.
#The frog said...
1353
01:32:59,063 --> 01:33:02,979
...all right, hop on.
#But this is going to cost you a lot of chips.
1354
01:33:03,100 --> 01:33:06,982
Oh, yes, I know, I know
whispered the scorpion gratefully
1355
01:33:07,104 --> 01:33:11,312
as he delicately
positioned himself
squarely on top of the frog.
1356
01:33:11,441 --> 01:33:14,347
The frog leaped
into the stream
with the scorpion on his back.
1357
01:33:14,478 --> 01:33:18,024
He had to swim
real, real hard
because the current was against him.
1358
01:33:18,147 --> 01:33:22,061
When the frog
was halfway across
he began to feel a little tired.
1359
01:33:22,185 --> 01:33:24,759
But he kept going anyway-
1360
01:33:24,888 --> 01:33:28,361
This is where those
aerobics classes paid off.
1361
01:33:28,492 --> 01:33:31,801
And the scorpion
stung the frog
with is deadly poisonous stinger.
1362
01:33:31,928 --> 01:33:33,340
Big deal.
1363
01:33:33,462 --> 01:33:37,039
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
1364
01:33:37,166 --> 01:33:41,006
The frog could feel the
poison numb his arms and legs.
#They began to stiffen up.
1365
01:33:41,137 --> 01:33:44,477
I could just d-i-e, die.
#Don't worry, you will.
1366
01:33:44,607 --> 01:33:46,750
He began to sink.
#Yikes.
1367
01:33:46,877 --> 01:33:50,555
Before he did, he had to
ask the scorpion one question.
1368
01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:54,185
- Why?
- Why? -Why?
#Why did you do it, you fool?
1369
01:33:54,317 --> 01:33:57,799
Now we're both going to die.
#What could you have been thinking of?
1370
01:33:57,920 --> 01:34:01,661
- Why?
- Why?
#Right before they sank to their death,
1371
01:34:01,791 --> 01:34:05,242
the scorpion kind of
shrugged and said...
1372
01:34:05,361 --> 01:34:09,207
well, because
it's my character.
1373
01:34:12,207 --> 01:34:16,207
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