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[theme song]
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NARRATOR: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey
Amsterdam, Larry Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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[crowd of girls screaming]
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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The Red Coats have gone back to England.
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[screaming]
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Oh, boy.
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You still think The Red Coat
craze is just a publicity stunt?
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I haven't heard screaming like this since I
told my wife my mother was coming for a visit.
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Boy, it's insane, but I guess it has to be.
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Every generation has one idol.
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Yeah, when I was a teenager, we went for Frank
Sinatra, but not guys with hair all over their head.
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You know, when you were a
teenager, people had hair all over.
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You know, with the Red Coats on the show, we
will rack up the highest rating of all time.
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SALLY: Right.
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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No, no.
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- Were they ever in here? - They were here.
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They're gone. They're gone.
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They were here yesterday.
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I'm breathing their air.
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I'm breathing their air.
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They're breathing down there.
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ROB: breathing down in the lobby.
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Oh.
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I can't understand what those girls see in the them.
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The red velvet coats, and the long curly hair.
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It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
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You know, I was having a discussion about it coming
in on the train this morning with Dr. Brown,
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the psychiatrist. - Yeah?
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What did he say?
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He said it was the craziest thing he ever saw.
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I'll tell you one thing about those Red Coats,
they're really nice kids, and they got
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kind of a funny sense of humor.
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Yeah, but they got a lousy sense of timing.
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It's almost noon now.
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Where are they?
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BUDDY: They're probably counting their money someplace.
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Boy, if I had funny hair like that,
and no talent, I could have made a million.
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Yeah?
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You do, you don't, and you didn't.
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So shut up.
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MEL: Let us in!
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Let us in!
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That is Mel, isn't it?
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SALLY: Yeah, unless one of the girls
has a rotten set of vocal chords.
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Lunacy.
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Sheer lunacy.
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Those little monsters are crawling all over the building.
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Well it depends on your point of view really.
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I mean, to someone that doesn't earn 25% of
these boys, those teenage noises are horrible.
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To me, they're dollar signs.
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He's our manager.
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He discovered us.
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He's regretted it already, haven't you?
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Have we made a million dollars yet, have we mister manager?
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Well, I don't know, Ernie.
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I haven't opened the mail this morning.
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I hope so.
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I want to go home to mommy.
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You've all met? SALLY: Yes.
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Yeah.
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You know, I never was sure which one
was Ernie and which one was Fred.
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Oh, it's quite simple really.
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You see, Ernie's the one with the glasses.
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So if you see anyone wandering around
looking at this, you know it's Ernie.
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I see, so you're Ernie, huh?
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Can't tell without my glasses.
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I know you kids are probably dead tired, but if you
could just show us a little bit of what you do,
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we could write the introductions.
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Well, they'll do a song from their
new album "The Redcoats Are Coming."
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I want to do the romantic one.
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ROB: Which one's that?
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"I Want to Hold Your Breath."
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I don't want to do a love song.
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I know, I want to eat me lunch.
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Is that a song?
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No, I want to eat me lunch.
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Come on, boys.
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Do "No Other Baby."
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1, 2, 3, 4.
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He usually comes in about 13.
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7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
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Here he comes.
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12, 13.
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See?
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[MUSIC - THE REDCOATS, "NO OTHER BABY"]
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BOTH: (SINGING) I don't want no other baby but you.
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Oh, yes, I do.
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BOTH: I don't want no other baby but you.
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Hear me crying.
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BOTH: Because no other baby thrills me like you do.
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There's more, but we're saving our strength.
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I know.
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You see, you see we promised not to get
any sleep till we became rich and famous.
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Why, you are rich and famous.
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BOTH: Oh?
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Good night.
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That give us something to work on.
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Thank you very much. - All right.
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Thank you very much.
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Is the coast clear?
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All right, boys, the security officer
will show to your dressing rooms.
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Oh, wonderful.
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They need all the rest they can get.
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Come on, mate.
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Thank you.
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Oh, you'll talk to Rob?
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Yes.
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Thank you.
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What are you supposed to talk to me about?
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Oh, well, it's private, Rob.
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Private? I know.
134
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He wants to steal their hair,
and he wants you to drive the getaway car.
136
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Hey, Rob, we'll go up to the
office, and we'll start to work. OK?
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- OK, good. - Yeah, see you later.
139
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Boy, I hope they don't mistake me for one of the Red Coats.
140
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They might start tearing my clothes off.
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Good.
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You could use a new suit.
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OK, what's the trouble, Mel?
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Well, it's not exactly trouble, Rob.
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But our guest stars are about to collapse from exhaustion.
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Oh, I know.
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That those kids look dead beat.
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Do you know that in the week they've been here,
they've slept or tried to sleep in a different hotel
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every night.
151
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It's uncanny how those kids find
out where they are every time.
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MEL: Yeah, it's supposed to be top
secret, but somehow it always leaks out.
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Maybe you could help us, Rob.
156
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Well, gee, I'm sorry, Mel, but I don't have
any idea off-hand where they could hide.
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Well, we have sort of a plan.
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Now see if you agree.
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OK, let's hear it.
161
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Well, just for the moment pretend you're a teenage girl.
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OK, it's a little tough for me,
but all right, I'm a teen-aged girl.
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MEL: All right, now where would
you expect The Red Coats to stay?
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Well, where they do stay, at all the best hotels.
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Mhm.
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Now where would you least expect them to stay?
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Well, I suppose as a teenage girl, the last
thing I'd expect would have them at my house.
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Mel, game's over.
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I'm Rob Petrie.
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Good old Rob Petrie, and they're not staying at my house.
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No, they're not saying at my house.
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Rob. Rob!
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- No. - Rob.
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Rob! - Sorry.
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No, you mean you want them to come to my house?
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Just for one night.
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Yeah, but why me?
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Because you live in the suburbs
where it's nice and quiet.
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That's right.
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In a house with a 20-year mortgage, and new upholstery.
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"The Alan Brady Show" will cover any damages.
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That's just fine, and let Alan take them.
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No, we can't.
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Those kids have got sentries at every entrance.
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Well, how about you?
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My house too.
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Buddy, Sally.
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Sally has a small apartment.
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Buddy has a big mouth.
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Believe me, Rob, we've taken care of every detail.
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Well, yeah, except just one little detail.
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I haven't said yes.
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Did you see the papers today?
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They ruined the lobby of the Bryant hotel.
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We have taken every precaution.
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Besides only Alan, you, me, their manager,
an the police department know about it.
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Well, that's a cozy little group.
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GIRL 1: I think they're in there.
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GIRL 2: No, I looked through the hole.
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[girls screaming]
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The Red Coats in my house with every teenager in
America looking for them, and they're under my roof.
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Exciting, isn't it?
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Yeah, especially when those girls find out where they are.
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Rob, I told you-- I know.
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Everything top secret.
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Well, I don't know how you plan to get
them to New Rochelle in the first place.
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Starting at exactly 6 o'clock and at 5 minute intervals,
four limousines with drawn curtains will leave
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the basement garage and proceed with a
police escort to four well-known hotels.
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- And we'll be in one of them? - No.
219
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But we'll be in one of them, they'll be in the other.
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No, none of you will be in any of them.
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Mel.
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The four limousines will draw most or all the girls
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away from this building so that when you drive away
at 6:35-- With The Red Coats in the trunk of my car?
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MEL: Rob, give me a chance.
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I'm sorry.
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Red Coats will be in the back of a laundry truck.
228
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I have to drive them up there in a laundry truck?
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I will drive the laundry truck.
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You?
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Well, what's the password, Mel?
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Paul Revere.
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You're kidding.
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Mel, who wrote all this out?
235
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Well, the police department.
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The code thing was mine.
237
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ROB: So you're going to drive
them up there in a laundry truck?
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00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,810
No, you leave the garage in your own
car at 7:00 PM, and we'll rendezvous.
241
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Oh, rendezvous.
242
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I always wanted to rendezvous.
243
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,115
Hey, do I get to synchronize my watch?
244
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You're being unnecessarily cruel.
245
00:07:56,117 --> 00:07:57,485
This is for your own good, you know?
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For my own-- (GERMAN ACCENT) very
good, commander.
248
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,925
We'll have to have cyanide capsules
in case they catch us though.
250
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:10,098
Rob, Rob, Rob, this is nothing to joke about.
251
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,568
Well, Mel, if we can't joke about
this, we're in terrible trouble.
253
00:08:13,668 --> 00:08:15,036
Well, are you going to do it or aren't you?
254
00:08:15,136 --> 00:08:18,806
Well, you know, to tell you the truth, despite all
the potential danger there is, I couldn't miss
256
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this for anything in the world.
257
00:08:19,907 --> 00:08:21,042
Oh, good, good.
258
00:08:21,142 --> 00:08:22,577
And I have to tell my grandchildren.
259
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:24,345
No, don't tell anybody.
260
00:08:27,081 --> 00:08:30,985
I mean, if you-- you
have any grandchildren.
262
00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:32,053
Will-- will you do it?
263
00:08:32,153 --> 00:08:33,721
Well, conditionally, yeah.
264
00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:35,456
Oh, what-- what is it? What are the conditions?
265
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,258
Well, the one that I get to call her and tell her.
266
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It's her house too, you know?
267
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,762
Oh, no, you can't tell Laura that they're coming.
268
00:08:40,862 --> 00:08:45,666
Don't you think her curiosity will be aroused
when they sit down to dinner with us?
270
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,903
Carol, Rob's only getting eight tickets, see?
271
00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:51,539
And I've had two dozen calls today alone.
272
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Some people.
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00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:57,879
Yeah, but Carol see, it isn't my
fault that you have three children.
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Carol?
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Carol?
277
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:02,850
Oh, boy.
278
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:05,887
The Red Coats are coming, and my friends are all leaving.
279
00:09:05,987 --> 00:09:07,622
Oh, aren't people terrible?
280
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:11,259
Instead of being grateful for one ticket,
she's mad at because she can't have three.
282
00:09:11,359 --> 00:09:14,228
Well, frankly, I'm a little
surprised you offered her any at all.
284
00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:15,196
Well, she's a friend.
285
00:09:15,296 --> 00:09:16,798
Yeah, I know.
286
00:09:16,898 --> 00:09:18,399
But you offered her one ticket, and you offered me one ticket,
287
00:09:18,499 --> 00:09:21,936
and I'm certainly more than a one ticket friend.
288
00:09:22,036 --> 00:09:22,904
Millie.
289
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:24,572
Well, am I or am I not?
290
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Oh, Millie, of course you are, but it
isn't a matter of who-- JANIE: Mrs. Petrie?
292
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,445
Mrs. Petrie.
293
00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:31,279
Oh, boy.
294
00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:32,213
Hi, Mrs. Petrie.
295
00:09:32,313 --> 00:09:33,414
Hi, Janie, dear.
296
00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:34,916
I just finished talking to your mother.
297
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:35,917
I know.
298
00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:36,951
Can we get an extra ticket?
299
00:09:37,051 --> 00:09:37,852
No, Janie.
300
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,087
I'm afraid not.
301
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,521
Oh, Mrs. Petrie, please. I love them.
302
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,056
I have every one of the record albums.
303
00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:44,959
I know, you-- It's not my
fault my mom has three kids.
305
00:09:45,059 --> 00:09:47,728
Oh, OK, Janie, I'll try.
306
00:09:47,829 --> 00:09:48,629
I'll try.
307
00:09:48,729 --> 00:09:49,664
Thank you, Mrs. Petrie.
308
00:09:49,764 --> 00:09:50,665
And bless you.
309
00:09:50,765 --> 00:09:51,632
Bless you.
310
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:52,667
Bless you.
311
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:54,535
What do you mean you're going to try?
312
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:59,941
Millie, no, I didn't mean that I was going
to-- Oh, Millie, I wish this week were over.
314
00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,209
[phone rings]
315
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,244
I think I'm about to lose another friend.
316
00:10:03,344 --> 00:10:04,812
Hello? ROB (ON PHONE): Hi, honey.
317
00:10:04,912 --> 00:10:05,947
How's it going there?
318
00:10:06,047 --> 00:10:08,015
Why didn't they stay in England?
319
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:09,250
Honey, I've got something to ask you.
320
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:11,052
Are you alone? - No, Millie's here.
321
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,187
Can you get rid of her?
322
00:10:13,287 --> 00:10:14,856
Well, I don't think so.
323
00:10:14,956 --> 00:10:17,758
Call me back extension 194 as soon as she leaves.
324
00:10:17,859 --> 00:10:19,260
Well, that could be quite a while, dear.
325
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,561
We're baking strudel.
326
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:21,696
Oh.
327
00:10:21,796 --> 00:10:26,334
Well, honey, I want to tell you something
now that's going to knock your head off,
329
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:28,603
but you've got to make believe I haven't said anything.
330
00:10:28,703 --> 00:10:29,637
Oh, my gosh, Rob.
331
00:10:29,737 --> 00:10:30,805
What is it? - What?
332
00:10:30,905 --> 00:10:31,839
What?
333
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,109
Rob got a flat tire.
334
00:10:35,209 --> 00:10:36,077
Very good.
335
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,445
Just calm and passive now.
336
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:39,180
No more oh, my goshes, OK?
337
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,348
OK, dear.
338
00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:42,617
It's apple strudel.
339
00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:44,051
OK, here it is.
340
00:10:44,151 --> 00:10:49,724
Do you mind if The Red Coats sleep at our house tonight?
341
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,058
Ha!
342
00:10:51,158 --> 00:10:53,294
That's a funny story, darling.
343
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:56,831
I'm not kidding honey.
344
00:10:56,931 --> 00:10:58,399
We've got to know right away.
345
00:10:58,499 --> 00:11:01,903
Well, I certainly would like to hear a few of the details.
346
00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:02,837
Later.
347
00:11:02,937 --> 00:11:04,105
Honey, yes or no.
348
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,340
Well, whatever you think is best.
349
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,477
OK, we'll be there at 7:30,
and snap it up with the strudel.
351
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,045
Millie can't be there when I get home.
352
00:11:11,145 --> 00:11:12,013
Don't worry, dear.
353
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:13,514
It won't be. - OK.
354
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:14,248
Goodbye.
355
00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:15,483
Goodbye.
356
00:11:17,451 --> 00:11:19,053
What did Rob say?
357
00:11:19,153 --> 00:11:20,321
Go home, Millie.
358
00:11:23,024 --> 00:11:24,292
Rob said that?
359
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,626
No, no, no, no.
360
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,328
We need some powdered sugar for the strudel.
361
00:11:27,428 --> 00:11:28,930
That's what Rob said?
362
00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:30,932
Well, you know what a nut he is on his powdered sugar balls.
363
00:11:31,032 --> 00:11:32,133
The strudel. - Yeah, OK.
364
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,067
I'll hurry.
365
00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:34,001
No, take your time.
366
00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:35,336
Take your time.
367
00:11:35,436 --> 00:11:36,537
MILLIE: The Red Coats are making you crazy.
368
00:11:36,637 --> 00:11:39,307
Oh, no I know how Bunker Hill felt.
369
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,410
[music playing]
370
00:11:43,544 --> 00:11:44,912
Rob, you're not bringing them in the front door.
371
00:11:45,012 --> 00:11:45,913
No, I'm not.
372
00:11:46,013 --> 00:11:46,948
Well, where are they?
373
00:11:47,048 --> 00:11:48,916
I don't know.
374
00:11:49,016 --> 00:11:50,985
Oh, Rob, that's just awful.
375
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:54,488
You turned me into a nervous wreck, and
then changed the plans without telling me.
377
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,123
The plans have not been changed.
378
00:11:56,223 --> 00:11:57,858
Either Mel or I made a mistake.
379
00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:58,826
I waited at the rendezvous.
380
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,195
He never rendezvous-ed.
381
00:12:01,295 --> 00:12:02,964
Mrs. Cooley?
382
00:12:03,064 --> 00:12:03,898
This is Rob Petrie.
383
00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:04,999
Is Mel there?
384
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,567
Has he called?
385
00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:10,004
Well, when he does call, will you tell him that I'm home?
386
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,472
Thank you.
387
00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:13,207
Well, are you sure you went to the right place?
388
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:14,575
Yeah, with a synchronized watch.
389
00:12:14,675 --> 00:12:15,977
Everything.
390
00:12:16,077 --> 00:12:18,412
Rob, do you suppose they used you as a decoy?
391
00:12:18,512 --> 00:12:19,580
That's possible.
392
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,083
I'll kill them, but that's possible.
393
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:23,818
How do you like that?
394
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:26,253
ROB: You sound disappointed I didn't bring them with me.
395
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,322
Yeah, well, in a way I am.
396
00:12:28,422 --> 00:12:31,425
Well, when I told you about on the
phone you didn't sound too thrilled.
398
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:35,029
No, I wasn't, but then the more I got to
thinking about it, the more thrilled I became.
400
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,331
I mean, you know, they haven't even been to the White House.
401
00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:38,566
ROB: Yeah.
402
00:12:40,835 --> 00:12:42,803
I followed those plans right to the letter.
403
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:44,005
I can't understand it.
404
00:12:44,105 --> 00:12:46,440
Mel was behind me all the way,
and all of a sudden he just disappeared.
406
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:48,876
[knocking at back door]
407
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,111
Do you hear something?
408
00:12:50,211 --> 00:12:53,748
Yeah, it's coming from the kitchen.
409
00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:55,082
Who is it?
410
00:12:55,182 --> 00:12:56,584
MEL: Paul Revere.
411
00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:57,318
Who?
412
00:12:57,418 --> 00:12:58,586
It's Mel.
413
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,757
MEL: Hello, Rob.
414
00:13:02,857 --> 00:13:04,091
Hello, Laura.
415
00:13:04,191 --> 00:13:05,359
Hi.
416
00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:06,394
Mel, what happened?
417
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,295
Where were you?
418
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,764
Well-- Mel,
what are you wearing?
419
00:13:09,864 --> 00:13:14,101
Well, if you're supposed to be a
laundryman, you dress like one.
421
00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:15,336
Mel, where are the boys?
422
00:13:15,436 --> 00:13:16,470
In the garage.
423
00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:17,405
Well, what happened?
424
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:18,639
Why didn't you meet me?
425
00:13:18,739 --> 00:13:19,840
- You were being followed. - Followed?
426
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:20,775
Who was following me?
427
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,743
A gray sedan with four teenagers.
428
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:23,678
Are you sure?
429
00:13:23,778 --> 00:13:24,812
Yes.
430
00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:28,683
We left them at the Pelham Parkway,
and I came directly here on schedule.
432
00:13:28,783 --> 00:13:29,950
What time is it?
433
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:30,885
8:30.
434
00:13:30,985 --> 00:13:33,988
Roger Wilco.
435
00:13:34,088 --> 00:13:35,022
All right, boys come in.
436
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:38,993
Hi, fellows.
437
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,394
Honey, this is Fred and Ernie.
438
00:13:40,494 --> 00:13:41,529
LAURA: Hi.
439
00:13:41,629 --> 00:13:43,964
Which one is Fred and who's Ernie?
440
00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:45,499
Have a guess.
441
00:13:45,599 --> 00:13:47,702
Let's see, you're Fred, and you're Ernie.
442
00:13:47,802 --> 00:13:48,636
Try again.
443
00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:50,037
Oh, you're Ernie and you're Fred.
444
00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:51,005
No.
445
00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:52,940
Oh, don't listen to him.
446
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,075
You right the first time.
447
00:13:54,175 --> 00:13:55,209
Oh, I'm sorry, love.
448
00:13:55,309 --> 00:13:56,544
I'm just having a bit of a giggle.
449
00:13:59,513 --> 00:14:00,915
Well, I'm going to move out now.
450
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:01,849
They're yours.
451
00:14:01,949 --> 00:14:02,917
Remember, not a word.
452
00:14:03,017 --> 00:14:03,718
OK, Mel.
453
00:14:03,818 --> 00:14:04,585
I'll call you if I need you.
454
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:05,953
Remember, Mr. Cooley.
455
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:06,987
Remember what?
456
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:08,189
No starch in the shirts.
457
00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:09,390
Huh?
458
00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:16,030
Was he bald before we got here?
459
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:17,164
Yes, that's not your fault.
460
00:14:17,264 --> 00:14:18,365
Well, come on into the living room.
461
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:21,135
Make yourselves comfortable.
462
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,269
Oh, isn't this lovely?
463
00:14:22,369 --> 00:14:23,170
Hey.
464
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:24,805
Thank you.
465
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:25,940
That's nice.
466
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,341
Do you know what we call one of these in England?
467
00:14:27,441 --> 00:14:28,776
- No, what? - A chair.
468
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:36,684
It's a smashing house you've got.
469
00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:39,720
Please, don't say "smashing."
470
00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:41,188
It's very nice of you to have us.
471
00:14:41,288 --> 00:14:42,857
Honey, why don't you get the boys something to eat.
472
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:43,624
Oh, I'm sorry.
473
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:44,692
Would you like something?
474
00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:47,428
Well, what we'd really rather do
is get to bed, if you don't mind.
476
00:14:47,528 --> 00:14:48,396
Speak for yourself.
477
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,630
I'd like something to eat.
478
00:14:49,730 --> 00:14:50,831
Can we have it in bed?
479
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:51,532
Oh, sure.
480
00:14:51,632 --> 00:14:52,566
I'll bring a tray.
481
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:55,469
I hope assuming to eat on it.
482
00:14:55,569 --> 00:14:56,670
There will be.
483
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:57,705
Come on, you room is right up here.
484
00:14:57,805 --> 00:14:59,707
I hope you'll be comfortable.
485
00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:01,242
Anything you boys want, just ask for it.
486
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:02,510
Oh, thank you.
487
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,745
And I just hope for our sake and
yours, no one finds out we're here.
489
00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:06,080
Oh, don't worry about it.
490
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,648
You're safe here is on the rock of Gibraltar.
491
00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:08,983
Really?
492
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,618
Should we tell him what happened when we played Gibraltar?
493
00:15:10,718 --> 00:15:11,886
Oh, no. Don't tell him.
494
00:15:11,986 --> 00:15:12,787
You might worry him.
495
00:15:12,887 --> 00:15:13,888
Don't tell me.
496
00:15:20,895 --> 00:15:21,929
You worried?
497
00:15:22,029 --> 00:15:23,164
I'm worried.
498
00:15:23,264 --> 00:15:24,198
Me too.
499
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,768
Jerry, look, you're a dentist.
500
00:15:27,868 --> 00:15:30,838
You know that there are only so many
teeth you can take out of any given mouth.
502
00:15:30,938 --> 00:15:32,306
Well, that's the same with these tickets.
503
00:15:32,406 --> 00:15:33,507
[doorbell rings]
504
00:15:33,607 --> 00:15:34,441
Jerry, I got to go.
505
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,442
Somebody's at the door.
506
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,045
LAURA: I'll get it, darling.
507
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:43,350
Jerry, I don't want your blue alpaca sweater,
and I'm insulted you offered it to me.
509
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,852
All right, you're forgiven.
510
00:15:44,952 --> 00:15:47,087
Yeah, goodbye.
511
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:48,289
Hello, Mrs. Petrie.
512
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:49,190
Hello, Estelle.
513
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,524
Hi, Mr. Petrie.
514
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:53,460
We want you to know this is the
biggest moment of our lives.
516
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:54,662
Yeah, this is the closest we've ever been to them.
517
00:15:54,762 --> 00:15:55,596
What do you mean?
518
00:15:55,696 --> 00:15:56,497
Well, The Red Coats.
519
00:15:56,597 --> 00:15:57,932
You worked with them.
520
00:15:58,032 --> 00:16:00,167
You were close to them, and now we're close to you.
521
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,569
Oh, yeah.
522
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,706
Well, listen, when tomorrow I'm close to them,
I'll tell them that I was close to you.
524
00:16:05,806 --> 00:16:07,241
We're officially begging.
525
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,578
Yeah, we'll babysit for you for
free till we get married or die.
527
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,912
You don't understand.
528
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:12,713
Goodnight, girls.
529
00:16:12,813 --> 00:16:13,681
You just don't understand.
530
00:16:13,781 --> 00:16:17,017
You too, Phoebe.
531
00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:17,952
[sighs]
532
00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:19,253
[whistles]
533
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,454
What a night.
534
00:16:20,554 --> 00:16:22,957
And that's been going on all week long.
535
00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:26,060
You realize what would have happened if
they knew those boys were in that bedroom.
537
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,230
Oh, that's too frightening to think about.
538
00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:30,331
And you can't blame them.
539
00:16:30,431 --> 00:16:31,298
They're just kids.
540
00:16:31,398 --> 00:16:32,867
Yeah.
541
00:16:32,967 --> 00:16:37,271
I remember when I was a kid, I stepped on my
cousin to get a better look at Marlon Brando.
543
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,875
Turned out to be Paul Newman.
544
00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:43,077
Well, by gosh it's 11 o'clock, and all is well.
545
00:16:43,177 --> 00:16:44,245
I think we made it, honey.
546
00:16:44,345 --> 00:16:45,246
Congratulations.
547
00:16:45,346 --> 00:16:46,513
[phone rings]
548
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,414
Hold that pucker.
549
00:16:47,514 --> 00:16:48,816
I'll be right back.
550
00:16:52,453 --> 00:16:53,354
Hello?
551
00:16:53,454 --> 00:16:55,122
Oh, hi, Mel.
552
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,490
No, everything is fine.
553
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:57,925
Sleeping.
554
00:16:58,025 --> 00:17:00,861
That's right, I'll meet you right
here at 8 o'clock in the morning.
556
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:01,862
Roger.
557
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:08,102
Well, honey, the chief called to thank you again.
558
00:17:08,202 --> 00:17:09,136
Honey?
559
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:16,043
Rob, I want to tell you something,
and you're probably going to say it's
561
00:17:16,143 --> 00:17:22,950
childish and immature and female, but Rob, I'm
just dying to tell somebody they're here.
563
00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:23,784
Uh-huh.
564
00:17:23,884 --> 00:17:25,052
That's childish and immature.
565
00:17:25,152 --> 00:17:25,786
Yeah, yeah.
566
00:17:25,886 --> 00:17:26,754
But it's not female.
567
00:17:26,854 --> 00:17:28,489
I feel exactly the same way.
568
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,523
If I could just tell Jerry.
569
00:17:29,623 --> 00:17:30,791
Anybody.
570
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:32,426
Oh, Rob, I'd just like to tell everybody.
571
00:17:32,526 --> 00:17:33,527
That's female.
572
00:17:33,627 --> 00:17:39,233
Well, it's like having a-- like having a Dior
original and then not being able to wear it.
574
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:40,234
No, it isn't.
575
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:41,468
It's like being Clark Kent.
576
00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:43,370
Huh?
577
00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:46,206
You know you're Superman, and you can't tell anybody.
578
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,208
Oh, yeah, it's so frustrating.
579
00:17:48,309 --> 00:17:49,777
I never realized how he must have felt.
580
00:17:49,877 --> 00:17:55,816
Can you imagine how many times in that phone booth he
wanted to grab the phone and say, hi, I'm Superman?
582
00:17:55,916 --> 00:17:59,286
Well, of course we'll be able
to tell people after they leave.
584
00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:01,889
Yeah, but that's not half as good as doing it now.
585
00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:03,791
Oh, you know, we ought to get some snapshots.
586
00:18:03,891 --> 00:18:05,225
No. LAURA: Why.
587
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:06,160
Movies.
588
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,094
Movies are better.
589
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,829
We'll take movies in the morning.
590
00:18:08,929 --> 00:18:10,698
Gee, I don't know how I'm going to handle Millie though.
591
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,600
She's just going to hate me for not telling her.
592
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:13,867
Well, you can blame me, honey.
593
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,035
Tell her I threatened you or something.
594
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,505
No, she knows that doesn't stop me.
595
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:22,242
Now, Rob, on important matters it doesn't.
596
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:27,147
Look, darling, what's wrong with my calling Millie
tomorrow morning and telling her to come over here?
598
00:18:27,247 --> 00:18:28,048
I wouldn't tell her why.
599
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,583
Honey, our house. Our lives.
600
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:33,187
I'll just have her-- she could come, and then
we'd hold her here until after they left, see?
602
00:18:33,287 --> 00:18:34,121
Now wait a minute.
603
00:18:34,221 --> 00:18:34,989
Wait a minute.
604
00:18:35,089 --> 00:18:36,323
It's 1 o'clock. - No, it isn't.
605
00:18:36,423 --> 00:18:37,224
It's 11:00.
606
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,225
I know.
607
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,693
But just say it's 1 o'clock.
608
00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:43,864
We've been standing here arguing for two solid
hours now, and I say-- I've finally given in.
610
00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:44,999
Oh, good, darling.
611
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,600
That's the kind of argument I like.
612
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:47,835
What are you going to do?
613
00:18:47,935 --> 00:18:50,237
I'm going to call Millie and tell her to
hold tomorrow morning open. - Hold on.
615
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:51,171
Why?
616
00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:52,006
You can't call her now.
617
00:18:52,106 --> 00:18:53,273
It's 1 o'clock in the morning.
618
00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:57,645
All right, fellas.
619
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:58,646
Action.
620
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,180
That's it.
621
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,281
Smile, smile.
622
00:19:01,382 --> 00:19:02,182
Good, OK.
623
00:19:02,282 --> 00:19:03,517
Come along now.
624
00:19:03,617 --> 00:19:05,753
Just a wave.
625
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,389
OK, now walk up towards your room.
626
00:19:08,489 --> 00:19:09,289
Face the camera.
627
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,558
Face the camera.
628
00:19:11,658 --> 00:19:12,726
OK.
629
00:19:12,826 --> 00:19:15,863
We need to get them around
something identifiable in the room.
631
00:19:15,963 --> 00:19:16,864
Honey, you're identifiable.
632
00:19:16,964 --> 00:19:20,200
Get up there with them.
633
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,101
OK, that's it.
634
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,703
Good and close.
635
00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:23,637
That's the way.
636
00:19:23,737 --> 00:19:25,272
Hi, honey.
637
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,674
Great.
638
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,275
Darling, I'll take one of you with the boys now.
639
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,410
OK.
640
00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:30,678
Mel will be here about 10 minutes.
641
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,278
Just push a little trigger there, honey.
642
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:32,813
OK.
643
00:19:32,913 --> 00:19:34,982
All right, go.
644
00:19:35,082 --> 00:19:36,050
Get this.
645
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:39,053
I'm going to give them some advice now.
646
00:19:39,153 --> 00:19:40,654
Oh, that's good.
647
00:19:40,754 --> 00:19:43,724
That's good, darling.
648
00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:44,625
Come on, Ernie.
649
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:45,926
I'll take the shots now.
650
00:19:46,026 --> 00:19:46,627
Come on.
651
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,095
I'll direct.
652
00:19:48,195 --> 00:19:49,563
Mrs. Petrie, you go stand up there with Mr. Petrie.
653
00:19:49,663 --> 00:19:52,266
Oh, all right.
654
00:19:52,366 --> 00:19:53,167
Action.
655
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:54,168
Come on, wave a bit.
656
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,370
That's it.
657
00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:57,638
OK, now this way.
658
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,339
That's it.
659
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:00,274
Hey, honey?
660
00:20:00,374 --> 00:20:01,108
Yeah.
661
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:02,476
I just thought of something.
662
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:06,146
Why are they taking pictures of us?
663
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,015
The pressure gets to me sometimes.
664
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:09,016
Oh, cut.
665
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:09,750
Cut.
666
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,952
That's OK.
667
00:20:12,052 --> 00:20:13,487
Darling, can I call Millie now?
668
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:14,955
Yeah, go ahead, honey.
669
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:18,258
You guys better get up and get your things together.
670
00:20:18,358 --> 00:20:21,261
Now honey remember, tell her to come
over, but don't tell her why.
672
00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:24,064
Stop worrying.
673
00:20:24,164 --> 00:20:26,066
Millie, what are you doing?
674
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:29,736
Well, dry yourself off, and get over here right away.
675
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:30,938
No, no, nothing's wrong.
676
00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:34,374
I can't tell you what it is, Millie, but I'm
calling you because you're my best friend.
678
00:20:34,475 --> 00:20:37,377
And if you don't get over here right
now, I can't be responsible.
680
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:38,445
Goodbye.
681
00:20:38,545 --> 00:20:40,147
- She coming? - I think so.
682
00:20:40,247 --> 00:20:40,848
[knock at door]
683
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,082
Boy, she's fast.
684
00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:46,286
Who is it?
685
00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:47,254
MEL: Paul Revere.
686
00:20:47,354 --> 00:20:49,056
Rob, Mel's here.
687
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,859
Oh, then that must be Millie.
688
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,197
I'm-- We came to
make a final appeal.
689
00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,899
I'm sorry, girls, there are no more tickets.
690
00:20:58,999 --> 00:21:00,501
We just gotta see them or we'll die.
691
00:21:00,601 --> 00:21:03,170
[girls screaming]
692
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,777
What's going on?
693
00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:14,014
[girls continue to scream]
694
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:15,716
Lock the door, Millie.
695
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,684
Rob, what did Laura want?
696
00:21:17,784 --> 00:21:18,652
It's all right, darling.
697
00:21:18,752 --> 00:21:20,053
They're gone.
698
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,022
Would somebody please tell me what's going on here?
699
00:21:22,122 --> 00:21:24,057
The Red Coats slept here.
700
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,793
And you didn't tell me?
701
00:21:25,893 --> 00:21:27,694
I did, Millie, but you were too late.
702
00:21:27,794 --> 00:21:28,629
What late?
703
00:21:28,729 --> 00:21:32,499
I'm not even dry yet.
704
00:21:32,599 --> 00:21:33,901
Oh, here they come.
705
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,469
Rob, what'll we do?
706
00:21:35,569 --> 00:21:36,970
We'll be trampled.
707
00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:38,505
I'll tell them that they were here, but they're gone.
708
00:21:38,605 --> 00:21:41,341
It is rather dangerous.
709
00:21:41,441 --> 00:21:42,276
Now you listen.
710
00:21:42,376 --> 00:21:43,911
They were here, but they're gone.
711
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,313
They just slept here last night.
712
00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:49,983
[girls scream excitedly]
713
00:21:52,786 --> 00:21:54,655
Hey, cut that out.
714
00:21:54,755 --> 00:21:56,256
Hey, cut that out.
715
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,258
Put that down!
716
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,027
Put that down!
717
00:22:00,127 --> 00:22:03,330
[girls scream excitedly]
718
00:22:14,074 --> 00:22:17,277
[phoebe sobs]
719
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:23,250
[phoebe rejoices]
720
00:22:27,421 --> 00:22:30,991
[MUSIC - THE RED COATS, "MY HOW THE TIME GOES BY"]
721
00:22:31,091 --> 00:22:38,398
(SINGING) Each time I leave you, it's like
a lifetime, but there's no reason why.
723
00:22:38,498 --> 00:22:45,472
But when I'm here to hold you, my how the time goes by.
724
00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:49,076
I don't remember what time the clock said.
725
00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:52,579
Don't even bother trying.
726
00:22:52,679 --> 00:22:56,016
You say it's past your bedtime.
727
00:22:56,116 --> 00:22:59,253
My how the time goes by.
728
00:22:59,353 --> 00:23:03,123
I know I'm gonna hate it leaving you.
729
00:23:03,223 --> 00:23:06,293
My how the hours fly.
730
00:23:06,393 --> 00:23:09,730
I really don't know what I'm going to do.
731
00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:11,498
Oh, my.
732
00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:13,700
Oh, my.
733
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,302
Kiss me again, girl.
734
00:23:15,402 --> 00:23:20,540
Kiss me and then girl, kiss me a last goodbye.
735
00:23:20,641 --> 00:23:23,977
Wish I could stay forever.
736
00:23:24,077 --> 00:23:30,017
My how the time goes, my how the time
goes, my how the time goes by.
738
00:23:33,086 --> 00:23:36,189
[girls in audience scream]
739
00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:39,159
Thank you.
740
00:23:39,259 --> 00:23:40,360
Thank you very much.
741
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,561
You're a lovely audience. Thank you.
742
00:23:41,662 --> 00:23:43,163
Thank you.
743
00:23:43,263 --> 00:23:47,034
We'd like to do a song now for two very good friends
of ours who risked life and limb by letting
745
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,535
us stay in their lovely home.
746
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:52,039
This song is one that was recorded by Chad
and Jeremy, friend of ours back in England.
748
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,041
They're very close to us you might say.
749
00:23:54,141 --> 00:24:00,380
So for Rob and Laura Petrie of New Rochelle,
New York, here is "No Other Baby But You."
751
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,016
Rob, they shouldn't have said where we live.
752
00:24:03,116 --> 00:24:05,419
And we just got our furniture back.
753
00:24:05,519 --> 00:24:07,654
Now they'll be coming from all 50 states.
754
00:24:07,754 --> 00:24:08,689
Rob, what'll we do?
755
00:24:08,789 --> 00:24:09,990
Well, don't panic.
756
00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:14,828
Maybe the first thing to do is just put the
furniture on the lawn, and have an auction.
758
00:24:14,928 --> 00:24:16,997
[applause]
759
00:24:22,536 --> 00:24:26,039
[theme song]
48029
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