All language subtitles for The Dukes of Hazzard S02E19 Jude Emery_track3_[eng]

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw,
been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day
they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain
might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just
a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a
true modern day Robin Hood ♪♪

Yee-haw!

Welcome again
to Hazzard County.

Hazzard is
a pleasant little spot

where several southern states
come together.

That's all I'm allowed
to tell you

'cause everybody
would wanna go there.

But its location is how come
a very unusual character

showed up, named Jude Emery.

Uh, that ain't Jude.
That's, uh, Deputy Enos.

And, of course, neither
one of them's Jude.

They're the Duke boys.

And that ain't Jude.
That's Sheriff Grady Byrd.

But, hang on, ol' Jude
will be along briefly.

You got it.
That's Jude.

'You better step on it, Bo.
Them sirens creepin' up on us.'

'Listen,
if we can get this'

under a minute and a half,
we'll make a new record.

Here you go, take this.

Alright.

- Howdy.
- Howdy.

You lose a horse
or find a saddle?

Neither. My pickup truck
broke down.

I didn't wanna leave
the saddle in the back..

- Yeah, I'd be much obliged.

- Give me that.
- Uh, hey.

Let's go.

- In the window.
- Alright.

Sounds just like
Merle Haggard, don't he?

Alright, hit it, cuz.

- Thank you for the lift.
- Don't mention it.

Looks like you had to stop
in mid-chase to do it.

Yeah, just bein' chased
by the county sheriff

ain't no reason
not to be neighborly.

You wanna tell me what you did,
so I can start worryin'?

- Nope.
- Uh-huh.

Hey, hey, there's
Roslyn Road up ahead.

Let's confuse 'em.

Well, at least,
we cut 'em down to half.

You-you can let me out
anywhere along in here.

It'd be fine.

Stranger, this might
ruin your whole day.

You ain't the only people
who know this county.

I used to do my
courtin' right here.

- Yeah, get everybody out.

- Hey, Luke.
- Hey, Enos.

'Hands on top of the car.
You too, boy.'

'
- Jude Emery.

- Sheriff, he's got a bulge.

Okay, put them hands up.

- I-I'm just a--
- Now, you hush.

- Spread 'em.
- You-you're in trouble.

- I just--
- Hush.

Now, you in trouble
with me and Hazzard County.

- That's what you are.
- I told you he had a bulge.

Ah-ha! Now, you got
a permit for that, boy?

- As a matter of fact--
- Hush!

As for you, Duke boys,
consortin' with this

scroungy-lookin' dude--

- Yeah, just ho--
- With a gun and a guitar.

Well, everybody
is goin' to jail.

Jude, welcome
to Hazzard County.

And this here weirdo vagrant
was packin' a .38 special.

- But I got a--
- Ah, hush up. And a guitar.

- Depends on how you play it.

And that ain't all.

Luke Duke was armed
with a Barlow pocket knife.

Grady, that there knife
couldn't cut cold grits.

Well, that don't matter.
That is still a lethal weapon.

Ha ha. I got 'em, Boss.
Oh, I got 'em.

Sheriff, he's got
another bulge here.

Excuse me.

Oh, well, I betcha this ain't
filled with no rabbit tobacco.

'I bet you it's filled
with a...badge.'

A badge?

See, I told you
he had another bulge.

"Sergeant Jude Emery.

Texas Ranger."

Congratulations, sheriff.
You just arrested the fuzz.

Grady..

Enos!

Why-why didn't you
tell me about that bulge first?

Oh, a Texas Ranger.

Uh, wh-why didn't you
say somethin'?

I tried to, hoss.
But you kept yellin' "hush".

What are you doin' comin'
through these parts, Mr. Ranger?

Just call me Jude.

I'll show ya.

'Sure beats packin'
a suitcase, don't it?'

There you are.

"Wanted Russel "Snake" Harmon

for hijacking
and running contraband."

Yep, I've tracked him
from Texas to Hazzard.

Russel "Snake" Harmon.
W

- Never heard of him.
- He's here alright.

See, back in Texas

ol' Snake had a group
called the Road Gang.

A bunch of leadfoots
who would drive anything

anywhere
for the right price.

Oh, that Snake Harmon.

Yeah, we busted the gang,
but ol' Snake slipped away.

- Yeah, I'm sure of it.

The word is that
Snake has come south

so he could recruit
a new road gang

using moonshine runners
and outlaw race drivers.

Well, we ain't heard nothin'.

- Oh.
- Nice try though.

He picked Hazzard 'cause
it was centrally located.

We even know
where he's holed up.

While those extradition papers
are bein' processed

I'm gonna go pick him up.

- 'Place called Uchee Swamp.'

Well, Mr. Emery, sayin'
a place called Uchee swamp

is like sayin' somewhere
in the Amazon jungle.

- That bad.

There are a lotta dirt roads
there that don't lead nowheres.

Stranger goin' in there
tryin' to find anything

he's bound to get lost.

Especially with
all that quicksand.

The Duke family used to roll
lotta moonshine through there.

Seems to me we never got
caught in the Uchee Swamp.

Sounds like you boys
know the layout pretty good.

Yes, sir, we do.

How'd you like to be my guides
while I try to find ol' Snake?

That's if I can talk the sheriff
here into lettin' you go.

Let 'em go?

So I don't press charges
against him for false arrest.

Let 'em go!

Mr. Emery, uh, Jude

you got yourself
a couple of guides.

Partner.

Mr. Ranger, I guess you'll be
needin' some help on this case.

I've always admired to be
a Texas Ranger, Mr. Jude

'but we ain't got
any here in Hazzard.'

Of course, we ain't got
any here in Hazzard, Enos.

This ain't Texas.

Uh, now, boys, you realize it's
kinda hard to become a ranger.

I mean, there ain't
but 94 rangers in all--

- In all of the 50 states.

See, we go anywhere,
we got a warrant.

I-I-I'd sure like to apologize
for arresting you.

- But when I found that gun--
- Oh, forget it.

This ol' gun
don't work anyway.

I only carry it 'cause
the rules say I have to.

See, the way I figure it...
is if the gun don't work

I have to come up with somethin'
where people don't get hurt.

Especially me.
Keeps me on my toes.

You know, Mr. Emery

you ain't exactly how I
picture a Texas Ranger.

'Yeah, a lotta folks say that.'

But just 'cause I cut it
a little differently

don't mean I can't cut it.

'If you'll get started
on those extradition papers'

me and the boys here
are gonna go Snake huntin'.

Oh, uh, sheriff..

...better make some extra room
in that jail of yours.

There's about half a dozen
of 'em in the gang.

'Well, how are you gonna
get the whole gang?'

One gang, one ranger.

Y'all take care.

He's somethin' else,
ain't he?

'Yeah, that's him. Jude Emery.
Just like I figured.'

He sure don't look
like much, Snake.

Yeah, but he sticks
like molasses.

That boy's been
doggin' me for two years.

Every time I settle somewhere,
I put a watch on the courthouse

'cause I know he's gotta
get them extradition papers.

- The Duke boys.

I've raced against
them on dirt.

- Strictly amateur hot dogs.
- Right.

Sounds like they beat you.

They're local Hazzard boys?

Yeah.
Ex-moonshine drivers.

What you reckon
Jude's doing with them?

He's probably using them to
scout the area, looking for me.

Ol' Jude is strange,
but he ain't dumb.

What you say we recruit
them Hazzard boys?

Snake, them boys ain't
nothin' but trouble.

We're looking
for hot drivers.

What if they're
working with Jude?

It'd be the perfect way
to keep track of him.

We let them think
they joined the gang

and if things get tough,
we hold them as the insurance

againstJude playing
policeman.

Now he's here, I feel a lot
safer in the swamp. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

I know he usually works alone

but he might pull the local
sheriff in on this one.

- Don't worry.

Wait till you
meet that guy.

Grady, if a man
don't grow, he dies.

Oh, now, Boss, them's another
one of your hard sayings.

Yes, sir.
Grow or die, Grady.

Well, I got growin' pains,
I can tell you.

On account I got dreams.

Dreams of gettin' bigger..

...growin' richer..

...givin' more orders.

And...by controllin'
Snake's Road Gang

and runnin' that contraband,
that could be a giant step.

Oh, it's the
American dream, Boss.

Yeah, that's it.
American dream.

Oh, but, uh, Boss, uh..

...that Snake's
as good as got.

I mean, I-I'm gonna go
into that Uchee Swamp myself

and track him down for you.

Grady, you couldn't catch
a catfish in a coffee cup.

The only way
you're gonna catch Snake

is by followin' them Duke boys
and that guitar-pickin' ranger

and grab Snake
before he does.

- Got ya.

Oh, that'll burn 'em up,
Boss, yeah.

You know, in all my years
of runnin' shine

I never was..

...chased by a Texas Ranger.

And had I ever been caught,
I'd have been proud.

Here, have a hot one.
If it'd been a Texas Ranger.

Me, too.

Say, Jude, how do you figure
ol' Snake knows his way around

the Uchee Swamp anyhow?

With all the recruitin'
he's been doin' locally

probably somebody in the gang
knows about it.

Well, now, when you
come across him

ain't that gang of his gonna
give you a lotta trouble?

Once I get the drop on Snake,
they'll probably stay cool.

They haven't done anything.
Snake's the one I'm after.

That sounds like
a simple enough plan.

Yeah, it's about the only
kind I ever come up with.

I'm just kinda edgy
including you boys.

You ain't never caught him
by yourself in two years

and now, you got-got
Luke and me to help.

Yeah, and if you, me and Bo
can't handle it, we got help.

Who

The sheriff?

No. Us Dukes.

The family.

Well, I do appreciate that.

And I'm gonna need your help.

- But not Daisy.

Well, Snake Harmon ain't
exactly John Dillinger.

But he is dangerous.

Now, back in Texas
we might work a woman to death

'but we don't expose
'em to danger.'

I see.
Why do you call him Snake?

Oh, come on, son.

What's the matter?

Huh?

Well, I know
what the matter is.

I asked you not
to feed Elmer.

And you fed him.

I said you can feed Cleo.
I asked you not to feed Elmer.

I'm sorry, Snake, but sometimes
I can't tell 'em apart.

Elmer's the boy.

It ain't that easy, Snake.

If you ain't
the dumbest!

I wanted him hungry.

'Gets lazy when he eats.'

Hey, Elmer.

That's my boy.

Come on.

I got a job for you to do.

Well, now we know
why they call him Snake.

Friends, this is
gonna be a zinger.

Cowboy.

I don't see how in the heck
you made it all the way here

from Texas in that thing.

I had the wind behind me.

She got a lotta miles
on her, ain't she?

Oh, yeah.
She's old Korean War surplus.

But she has got more character
than any horse I ever rode.

Say, Jude, if you got
this here truck

then why do you carry
that saddle around with you?

If you were drivin' in this,
wouldn't you want backup?

I reckon we could use a backup
system to help find ol' Snake.

We could drive around
lookin' for him in that swamp

till you're ready to retire.

But me and Bo think it'd be
better to let Snake find us.

Now, why would he
wanna do that?

He said he's lookin'
for moonshine runners

and race car drivers,
didn't he?

'Now, how would he react
if word got out'

the Dukes boys is comin' out
of retirement.

I don't know how he'd react,
but y'all, Uncle Jesse will

skin you alive if you get
the Fedses on your tail again.

Well, lookie here, Patch.

If it ain't the chicken Dukes.
You heard of them, ain't ya?

- No.
'

They got scared out
of drivin' whiskey.

'Now they mostly
hang around racetracks'

hopin' to be mistook
for real drivers.

Well, Willie. Say, when'd you
get out of jail, son?

He had to go to jail, Bo.

It's the only way
he'd get to see his mama.

Ha ha. How come y'all ain't
home choppin' cotton?

Last time you drove
on a racetrack

you nearly got a ticket
for illegal parking.

Oh, n-now, Willie,
now wasn't that the time

you got in front of me,
and I had to kinda push you off

and you went into the pits?

I'd like to see you
try that with him.

'Meet Patch Lauren.'

'He's been barred from every
track in the country.'

Hey, I heard of you.

I didn't know they piled
dirty drivin' that high.

You ain't heard nothin'
like it is.

I'm looking for some
drivin' talent for an ol' boy

who's tryin' to put
somethin' together.

You two ain't much, but...
you interested?

- 'I got nothin'.'

Unless you can really cut it.

'Ya'll wanna talk
about it some more'

'meet me at the
old coffin factory'

early tomorrow mornin'.

Take you that long
to find it.

Catch you in church.

Bye.

Can you believe it?

We're sittin' here
talkin' about it

and it slides
right into our laps.

With that kinda luck,
you boys oughta be gamblers.

- Or lawmen.
- Heck, nah.

We're just lucky enough
just being Dukes.

You got that right.

They went for it.

- Hey, Cooter.
- Gracias.

- Here you are, cousin.
- Thank you.

Aah! Hey, ya'll, the Duke
of Hazzard's here.

- Here you go.
- Thank you, cousin.

- Emery.
- Oh, thank you, honey.

Boys, I don't see why I have
to ride in a car anyway?

If we was back in Texas,
I'd follow--

Now, look, you ain't back
in Texas, you're in Hazzard.

Now, you get yourself lost
in that Uchee Swamp

you ain't gonna be able to find
your butt with both hands.

See, what Luke and me
figure we'll do

is we'll start a fight.

'We're real good
at startin' fights.'

You got that right.

Anyways, we oughta be able
to get their attention

so you can slip out
of the car, and nab ol' Snake.

You don't wanna get caught
in the back of this thing.

Okay, you boys get me
to Snake anyway you can.

Hey, Cooter.

- Make room for my guitar.
- Guitar.

Guitar.

Climb on back in here, and I'll
cut out some more space.

Guitar.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, now, them Dukes
is up to no good

just as sure
as a hog loves turnips.

Huh?

But don't worry, Boss.

I'm bringin' Snake in.

Just as soon
as I get me a car.

Where's your sheriff's car?

Well, Cooter's fixin' it.

Well, then use your
personal car, stonehead.

Well, I..

Huh?
What's that?

'I ain't got one.'

Well, how do you get to work?

Well, I-I thumb.
I hitchhike every place.

Grady, you can't follow them
Duke boys hitchhiking.

Oh, you're right.
Now, they might spot me.

Of course, it would be real
slick if they gave me a ride.

- You'd still lose 'em.
- I could borrow your car.

Oh, sure. White hood,
horns and all, huh?

Well, I'll use my mama's car.

Your mama's car?

'Course if I get
one little dent in it

'oh, she'll be chewing my tail
till Gabriel's trumpet.'

Grady, you've got no idea
what a comfort it is

just knowing you're
sheriff around here.

Now, that night,
while the boys and Cooter

was working on
puttin' their plan together

Daisy and Jude...
Uh, well, you'll see.

♪ The purest eyes ♪

♪ And the fairest hands ♪

♪ I love the ground
whereon she stands ♪

♪ Black, black, black ♪

♪ Is the color ♪

♪ Of my true love's hair ♪♪

You sure sing pretty
for a cowboy, Jude.

Guitar sounds a whole lot better
without the socks in it.

- You want some more peach pie.
- Mm-hmm. No thanks.

Oh!

You know, lady, your cookin'
is downright scary.

Is that good or bad?

When a beautiful woman
can also cook, that's good.

And that's bad.

I still wanna go
with you tomorrow.

No.

I don't wanna be distracted
worryin' about you.

Worried about me?

Worried about me?

I can probably outdrive
and outshoot you.

That's probably true.

I'm a bad driver,
my gun don't work

and you still ain't goin'.

Anybody who'd bet on that

would bet against
the next sunrise.

Night.

And a little after sunrise,
things were really hummin'

down at the Hazzard garage.

- Let her rip.

If y'all figured Daisy's
gussied up just for Jude..

...you're wrong.

'Cooter, it works.'

'Course it works. Works
better than I thought it would.

Don't think we're gonna have any
trouble followin' them at all.

- I've got somethin' for you.
- Well, let's go, honey.

Never bet against Daisy
when she makes her mind up.

Ol' Jude didn't know that Daisy was in on the party.

I promise you I'm gonna
take good care of it.

- You just do me one favor.

You keep this thing
between the ditches.

You got it, honey.

Whoo!

Mother dog!

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

when first we practice
to deceive.

Man, that's obtuse.

Yeah, I figured ol' Grady
was about due.

And ain't mama's car somethin'?

Now, I want ya'll to watch
some slick shucking.

Now you see Luke..

...and now, you don't.

Luke, I told you Willie would
be lookin' the wrong way again.

No wonder he can't handle it
when a car's on his tail.

Ain't them boys slick?

I'd invite you to have a beer..

...but it would lower
my social standin'.

You'd have to go all the way
to hell to do that.

Well, I ain't proud.
I'll drink with anybody.

Say, where's your boss?

You won't meet him
unless you pass the test.

- He's the test.

Patch is somewhere
on South 104 waitin' for you.

I sure wouldn't
keep him waitin' long.

It might make him ornerier
than he is.

Thanks, anyway.
Catch you later.

That depends on Patch.

Now, the boys and Jude
didn't anymore than get out

of Willie's sight, when they were immediately followed by..

...Willie, who wanted to watch the Dukes against Patch.

And all of 'em
were followed by..

...the intrepid Grady
in his mama's car

who was followed by...Daisy.

Ya'll followin' this?

Daisy didn't know that the car

that she was followin'
was Grady's.

She thought he was
one of the gang.

And I'll just be dogged
if another car

didn't start
tailin' Bo and Luke.

Guess who.

Yeah, that's the man.

Shoot, so far, I don't see
nothin' of Patch's test.

Seems like a little
kiddie game to me.

You alright back there, Jude?

- Oh, it ain't nothin'.

Just Patch playin'-playin'
a little bumper tag is all.

Great.

Ol' Grady was havin' so much
fun watching the game

that he didn't even notice
Daisy was on his tail.

Since Daisy didn't know
it was Grady in front of her

she thought the odds
were three to one

against Bo and Luke.

You reckon the General's
back bumper's gonna stay on?

I don't know.

Sounds like we
picked up a new ra...rattle.

Now, Bo, don't move.
Just listen to me.

Look down
by the brake pedal.

Now, don't move.

I won't move, but I'm fixin'
to make a new door here.

There's the test.

He keeps bumpin'
and jarrin' us like that

it's bound to rile that snake,
and he's gonna strike.

Now, how'd you like
to be in a car

with a rattlesnake and all the doors welded shut?

Well, what're we gonna do?

What's goin' on?

We've got a rattlesnake
up here in the front.

Don't let it back here,
there ain't room.

Luke, you-you-you're
thinkin', ain't you?

Oh, yeah.

They like mice.

- Uh..

There ain't room
for a mouse either.

Well, think faster.

- I got it.
- Just don't move.

- Be careful.
- Don't move, cousin.

J-just keep her steady now.
Don't let Patch hit us no more.

- I won't.
- Okay.

Stay real steady, cousin,
I don't wanna lose you now.

- Easy.
- I got it.

Oh!

Cover his head, Luke.

Alright, hit the brake.

Everything's okay, Jude.

No, it ain't,
'cause down the road

Daisy had decided
to even the odds

by takin' out
one of the enemy.

Not knowing
it was poor ol' Grady

who wasn't about to hurt
his mama's car.

Ol' Willie didn't know
who they were

but they sure wasn't
on his side.

Grady Byrd, I didn't know
it was you.

Oh, now, look at the scratch
you put on my mama's car.

Oh, Daisy, don't you recognize
a

I'm sorry, Grady Byrd.

Hey, Patch, how did we do?

Sonny boy, I'll stomp you
into mush!

Patch! Patch!

Patch, where's Elmer?

- Elmer, the rattlesnake.

- He threw him at me.

You let him lose Elmer?

Oh, I never cared
much for Elmer.

He's always slithering around,
he ain't got much to say.

Got them beady little eyes,
ain't even a pretty color.

Snake Harmon's gonna kill us.

Let's get outta here. Couple of
cars were followin' us.

- Beats me.

Jude Emery must've
been drivin' one of 'em

'cause they run
each other off the road.

- Let's go.

Oh, yeah.
You passed alright.

- Alright!
- Hot dog!

Grady Byrd..

...if you don't get Snake Harmon
before that ranger does..

...I'm gonna have your ugly hide
nailed to my den wall

and your miserable bones
ground into fertilizer

for my tomatoes.

That ain't nothin' compared
to what my mama's gonna do

when she finds that scratch
on the car.

All because I was so certain
that between you

and that ranger, I'd control
Snake Harmon's gang

I went and contacted
the syndicate.

And now..

...I've got a contract to move
contraband, and no Snake Harmon.

And you,
you couldn't catch him

if you was both wearin'
the same pair of pants.

I remember once I got
one little bitty dent on her car

she wouldn't let me out
of the house for a week.

- Grady!
- Aah-ah-ah!

My head is on the line
to that syndicate.

Excuse me, sheriff.

These here fugitives
posters just came in.

Oh, Enos, go paper
the men's room with them.

Can't you see Boss is busy
chewin' me out?

Grady Byrd, the chances
of you finding that Snake Harmon

by yourself
rank right up there

with Daisy Duke
being made the next Pope.

That's funny, Mr. Hogg,
'cause Daisy's a Methodist.

Sheriff, the light bulb is
burned out in the men's room.

It's gonna be awful hard
to read the posters in there.

Oh, Enos, I'll hang 'em up
myself. I just..

- Oh, my goodness!

"Wanted Russel Snake Harmon."

'He's the one
that ranger's after.'

AndCoy Randolph

andPatch Lauren.

"For armed robbery,
felonious assault

"suspected homicide.

"Believed to be part
of the Snake Harmon gang."

Enos, you know
what this means?

Yes, it means 'em boys
are flat in trouble.

Oh, Enos, it means that
Jude, and Luke, and Bo

are not dealin' with a bunch
of good ol' ridge runners.

I mean, these are
real dangerous felons.

Grady Byrd,
you've got about as much gall

as a tub full of pig spleens.

Finish tightening that up.
Get out of the way, Burgette!

You sell your soul to swill
at Boss Hogg's table--

Swallow your stubbornness
and you listen to me.

You think Bo and Luke
have gone off to help

capture some
Texas leadfoot?

Look. "Patch Lauren,"
"Coy Randolph."

"Wanted for armed robbery
and suspected homicide.

Believed to be part
of the Snake Harmon gang."

Now, these just ain't good ol'
boys out to have some fun.

Bo, and Luke, and Jude

well, they don't know
what they're gettin' into.

They look like
a lot of fun.

Don't they though?

How many are there?

I don't know,
I can't count that high.

We gotta come up with somethin'
to throw 'em off-guard.

'We could start a fight.'

'Right, they'd never
expect that.'

I'm Snake Harmon.

- Hey.
- Howdy.

You must be
the Hazzard hot dogs.

Oh, you

Hmm.

Get out, plough-boy.

- I'm too young to die.
- Yes, sir.

I hear you boys had a little
trouble with Patch here.

Patch?

No, Patch weren't
no trouble at all.

If you're gonna test us,
find somebody who can cut it.

'Listen, Snake. We'd like to
stay and fight with your boys

but from the looks of 'em, I
don't think they can handle us.

Leastwise, not this
overgrown has-been cretin.

Russel Snake Harmon..

...I arrest you in violation
of the Texas criminal code--

Hey, Jude.

I figured you were
around here somewhere.

They don't fight, huh.

'Get off of me!'

I said, I arrest you
in violation of--

Listen, are those your boys?

- Yeah.
- That one's a little slow.

Needs to work on his
left hook, don't he?

Yeah, he sure do.

I better break this up.

Alright, boys.
Alright, break it up.

Hey, Bo, Bo.

Bo! Bo! Bo!

Bo, Bo, break it up.

'Here, stop it!
Stop!'

'Alright, break it up, boys.'

'Hey, stop it, right there.'

Bo, right there.
Stay right there.

Bo! Bo!
Alright now, break it up.

I said, break it up!

- Get over there, Luke.
- 'We had 'em.'

Yeah, you, you done real good.

Alright, now, you boys
just stay cool.

Ya'll boys ain't
broken no laws.

'Snake here's
the one I'm after.'

'Ya'll stay cool,
and stay outta trouble.'

Oh, come on now, Jude.

You ain't really gonna
arrest me, are ya?

I didn't track you
all the way from Texas

for your
dazzling conversation.

You ain't arrestin'
nobody, cowboy.

Drop it.

Okay, hoss.

But you're makin'
a big mistake.

'No, it's your mistake, Jude.'

Why, that there's Coy Randolph.

'You remember?
You sent him to prison.'

Is that you, Coy?

Hey, Jude.

I didn't recognize you
under all them whiskers.

I swore when you sent me up,
I wasn't gonna shave

'till I got ya.'

Looks like I'm fixin'
to shave.

Don't shave 'em off
for me, Coy.

It gives you character.
Covers up all that ugly.

Oh, shucks, Jude.

We've been onto you
since you hit Hazzard.

Boys.

Tie up Jude so he can
stay out of trouble.

- This one's mine.
- Wait a minute, Patch.

- I want nobody in the way.
- Wait, wait, wait, Patch.

Patch, I got a better idea.

You think you can take
this boy in arm wrestling?

You ain't gonna
like it, hoss.

'Time up.'

In case you think those are just
little ol' cactus spines

plough boy..

'...let me educate you.'

'Those are called
blood brothers.'

'The red you see dripping..'

'...that's pure poison.'

'Once they make a puncture,
they just never heal.'

Goin' through life
with an armful of those

it'd just be a livin' hell.

Give them some air.

- Yup.

Ya'll set?
Go.

Come on, Luke.
Come on.

Turn it on, Patch.

Luke. Uh..

Bo.

Luke!

Don't go to the bar now, Pa.

There ain't no tellin'
how this will come out.

What's goin' on?

Just be ready for a little
Duke shuckin' and jivin'.

I hear, ya'll are lookin'
for hot drivers.

Well, you can stop lookin'.

You wanna let me know
what's happenin'?

Just stay loose, Jude.

Well, thanks.
That clears it right up.

I'll tell you one thing
right now, Snake.

I ain't drivin'
with no woman.

'Well, you ain't tellin'
nobody nothin'.'

I'm runnin' this rig.

We don't know
nothin' about her.

'I got plenty more snakes.'

Test her.

Make her drive
against Patch.

Shoot, that ain't no test!
Have her arm wrestle him.

'Knock that off!'

- Cut him loose.
- Yes, sir.

Thanks, cousin.

Plough-boy..

...you've been doin'
all the talkin'

while your buddy here
does all the drivin'.

Now, it's us. Ain't nobody
drivin' against nobody

'til me and him
settle this.

Yeah? What you got
in mind, Patch?

Head-on chicken. Down
on the bridge, no turns.

Chicken?

Snake, you shoulda
never kidnapped

that big overgrown kid
out of the sixth grade.

Too tough for ya?

Too tough?
It's too stupid.

Look, now, if you got
any drivin' skill at all

we're gonna match jumpin' cars
across that creek belly.

- Well, at first light then.

Crack of dawn.

I finally got it figured out.
Y'all are all crazy.

'Well, how about it, Patch?'

- You can even use Annie's car.

My car.

Okay, plough-boy.
You're on.

Hey. Hey, Luke,
I got an idea.

Since this is
between you both

why don't we make it
a little interesting?

You mean a side bet
or somethin'?

I know. Like we
let you two go

if Luke makes it
and Patch don't.

'Not exactly.'

You see, what I had
in mind was for fun

that you and me ride
shotgun with 'em.

'What's the matter, Snake?
Don't you trust Patch?'

'Well, I trust Luke.'

Uh, well..

- Yeah.

So first light, engines were cranked for the big jump.

Come on, Patch,
show that plough-boy. Come on!

Easy, son.

One move, and I'm gonna
string you up like a hawk.

Now, y'all pay
a real close attention

'cause we're about
to play musical chairs.

Now, sonny,
when I say jump, you git.

Otherwise you're gonna be known
all over Hazzard County

as the fella who lost
his head in the race.

Now!

Follow me!

Well, I'll just be dogged
if Jesse and Cooter

wasn't hidden
in Daisy's car the same way

they hid ol' Jude
in General Lee.

Now, I didn't figure on that.

Hey! Get 'em!

Darlin', if you're always
this full of surprises

your social life
must be somethin' else.

How'd you do that?

Honey, I've been free
for about 30 minutes.

I just wasn't about to miss
what y'all had cookin'.

Some cowboy, Jude!

- Here goes.
- Go for it.

Uh-huh, looks like
ol' Grady and the law

were in on
the Duke's plan, too.

Now, that's a switch.

Everybody out of the car!
Everybody!

Up, hands on the car.

Well, here we go.

One Snake all tied up
for Ranger Emery.

Okay, Jesse, I'll take charge
of the prisoner, now.

Hey, hold on a second.

Ol' Snake here
is Jude's prisoner.

Uh-uh-uh, oh-oh-oh.
I got other plans for Snake.

On account that he ain't been
extradited yet

from my county,
namely Hazzard.

Somethin' around here stinks.

Uh, boys!

After them!

'Boss, get in, come on, now.
Go, go, get on in.'

Come on, y'all, get in.
We ain't done, yet.

'Jude, get me outta here.
These folks are crazy.'

Wait till
you kiss one up.

- Here comes Grady.
- Yeah.

You reckon the hardware bolted
on here's gonna get us across?

Yeah, there ain't but
one way to find out.

'Come on! There they are.
Come on, get 'em.'

Stop.
Drop it right there.

Enos, uh, cuff 'em a-and don't
forget to read 'em their rights.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

Grady! Come on,
get in here.

We're gotta go get Snake Harmon!
We're gonna lose him!

- Now, come on, and--
- I'm comin', I'm comin'!

Leave them small fry behind.
Come on, we gotta get 'em.

Come on, let's go.

We got some real nice pictures
of you boys in our restroom.

Wanna go
take some more?

'It's up to you, Luke.
Now, give it all you got.'

Whoa!

There ain't another road
out there.

We got 'em now.

Yeah, now,
if they're lost.

Right.

Don't agree with me!

Oh, alright.
Oh, here. Here, Boss.

- Oh, here, take my hand.
- No, I don't want your hand.

Here let me.. Oh.
Here here. Boss..

- Woo-hoo!
- Come here, get out.

Snake, Snake Harmon! Snake
Harmon, you-you're under arrest.

Hold on there, hoss.
That's my prisoner.

- Not it my county, it ain't.
- 'That's right, Mr. Ranger.'

Grady is a duly constituted law
here in Hazzard County.

- What little there is of it.
- Now you'd be right, Boss.

- If this was Hazzard County.

Well, no matter
how dry Hazzard creek is

it's still
the county line.

- Yee-haw!

Yee-ha-ha-haw!
Whee! Whee!

- 'I'm comin', I'm comin'.'
- This is Placid County.

- Well, I-I ain't sheriff here.
- You..

You ain't hardly
sheriff anywhere, Grady.

- Oh--
- Excuse me, sheriff.

- Well, Snake.
- Hey, Jude.

- Looks like you're all mine.
- Damn!

I made it, sheriff.
Oh, excuse me.

And that's the legend
of how the Dukes helped

capture the notorious
Snake Harmon.

And Boss had some
tall explainin' to do

about contraband deliveries.

Grady and Enos
got two wanted men.

And Daisy..

Do me a favor, and don't
promise to come back.

You, uh, you don't
want me to come back?

Come back. Just don't
make me any promises.

- Woo-hoo!
- Yee-haw!

Honey...I better
get movin'.

I'm gonna forget
all about Texas.

And Daisy got a little hooked on a stranger passing through.

A stranger named Jude Emery.