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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
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( MUSIC PLAYING )
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Well, we better start working as soon as we finish breakfast.
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This is gonna be some tough show to write this week.
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Yeah, but it's a nice change
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working at your house instead of the office.
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Look, darling, I forgot to give you this letter.
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It looks important.
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It's marked "official business" from the federal building.
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Oh, thanks, honey.
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Aren't you gonna open it?
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No.
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I don't want to be nosey, but how can you just sit there
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and not open the letter?
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Anything marked "federal building"
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is bound to be bad news.
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Now why should I open it and spoil my whole breakfast?
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Rob, how can you eat with that letter
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practically begging to be opened?
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That's his privilege.
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He don't ever have to open it-- he can burn it if he wants to.
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Rob, I think it makes good sense
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not to spoil your appetite with some bad news.
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Thank you, Buddy.
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All right.
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ALL: Will you please open the letter!
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I believe I'll have some more lox.
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Rob, I can't stand it.
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Honey, if you want to open this letter,
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you go right ahead and open it, but don't tell me what's in it.
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Open it, open it.
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All right, what's it say?
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Wait 'til you finish your breakfast, dear.
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I'm finished with my breakfast.
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Give me the letter.
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Jury duty.
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Hey, I've been called to go on jury duty.
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Darling, will you have time to serve on a jury?
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Oh boy, I don't know.
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We've got an impossibly tough script to write this week,
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and I think I'll take time.
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Oh, no, you're not gonna leave me
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to write that script alone.
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What do you mean alone-- I'll be there with you.
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Oh, no, you're not gonna leave me alone...
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Thanks a lot.
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You know, I wouldn't mind serving on jury duty.
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Ah, it's a drag-- I've done it.
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Served for three weeks, wound up with a hung jury.
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Let the guy go and hung the jury.
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( BOTH LAUGH )
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That's pretty bad.
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You know, I think it's my duty to go serve on that jury.
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You know what's happening? There's too much shirking
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of responsibility going on in this country.
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ALL: Hear, hear, hear!
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Right. It's everybody's responsibility
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to help uphold the democratic way of life.
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ALL: Yeah, yeah, yes, sir.
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After all, when the army called me to serve,
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didn't I go?
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ALL: Yes, you did!
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Ta-da-ta-dum-ta-dum!
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And now that this big government
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asked me to do this small favor for them,
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I think I should serve.
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( CLAPPING ) Yeah, yeah.
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And do you know why?
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Yeah, because you want to get out of writing
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next week's script. That's right.
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Ah, this looks like it.
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Excuse me.
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I don't see Rob. I wonder where he is.
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Oh, he's probably still in his dressing room backstage.
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Or whatever they have like that.
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I didn't tell him we were coming--
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I thought it might make him nervous.
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You know, I have the feeling
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Rob always wanted to be a lawyer.
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So, he's a comedy writer-- it's practically the same thing.
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Listen, Buddy's waiting for me at the office.
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I can't stay too long,
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maybe six or seven hours at the most.
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You know, I've never been in a courtroom before.
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This is very exciting.
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Yeah, it's like watching "the defenders"
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without a TV set.
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Do you suppose there will be a lot of "I objects"
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and "inconsequentials" and things like that?
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Oh, I'm sure there will be.
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Oh, thank you.
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( GIGGLING )
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Who's that?
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I don't know-- I didn't get a program.
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Gee.
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I feel real nervous, Mr. Berger.
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Are you sure everything's gonna be all right?
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Well, my dear, they couldn't possibly find you guilty.
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There are too many men on the jury.
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Aw, that's sweet.
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Oh, here they come. You better sit down.
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I want to talk to the court reporter.
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Oh, oh dear.
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Eck.
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Oh, I, I...
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Oh, I, I, uh, I believe this is yours ma'am, miss.
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Oh, my-- what a lovely suit.
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Thank you very much. Ha, ha.
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Are you on the jury?
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Uh, yes, yes, I-I'm on the jury, yes.
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Isn't that nice.
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Well, I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other.
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Well, I don't believe I saw you in the jury room.
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That's because I'm not on the jury.
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Oh, I see.
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You couldn't be the uh, district attorney.
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( CHUCKLES )
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Oh, no. no, no. I'm the defendant.
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Oh, wonderful. Oh...
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We're not supposed to be doing this.
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Doing what?
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Talking and picking each other's lipstick.
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Here, good luck. Thank you.
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Oh, and the same to you.
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My first time on a jury.
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WOMAN: Owww!
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Oww!
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He's the foreman, yet!
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Persons in the courtroom will please rise.
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Hear ye, hear ye!
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This honorable United States District Court
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is now in session.
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The honorable George M. Tyler presiding.
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Please be seated.
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United States of America versus Marla Hendricks.
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The charge--
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attempting to smuggle diamonds into the United States.
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Mr. United States attorney, you may proceed.
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Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
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the government intends to prove
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that the defendant Marla Hendricks
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did willfully attempt to smuggle diamonds
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into the port of new york to avoid payment of duty.
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JUDGE: You may step down.
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Is the defense ready to present its case?
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We are, your honor.
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I'd like to call the defendant, Miss Marla Hendricks
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to the stand, please.
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Thank you. ( GIGGLES )
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Hello.
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Hi.
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Oh, I-- ( GIGGLES )
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Excuse me.
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Please raise your right hand.
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Well, oh-w-w-would you mind holding this for me, please?
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Do you swear to tell the truth,
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the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
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to the best of your ability?
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I certainly do.
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Take the stand. Oh.
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Oh, excuse me.
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Oh, thank you.
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Your name, please.
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Oh, well, everybody knows it-- you just said it,
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and, and he just said it, and it's been in all the papers.
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Just for the record, please.
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Oh, okay. It's Marla Hendricks.
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Occupation.
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Exotic dancer.
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I used to be in an act called "The Harem Girls and Buster".
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Buster kept promising me a specialty,
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but he never gave it to me.
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I object.
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So did I.
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That's why I left the act and came home to New York.
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Miss Hendricks, just answer the questions.
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Well, you, you don't blame me, do you?
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After all,
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a promise is a promise,
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and my mother worked very hard on my costumes.
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Those zippers are hard to put in.
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If you don't put them in just right, they stick.
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Well, that's very interesting, Miss Hendricks,
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but, now, do you know a Mr. Clark?
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I certainly do.
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And how did you meet him?
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I picked him up on the ship.
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You don't mean that, do you?
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Objection, your honor.
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Counsel is attempting to coach the defendant.
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Well, now, your honor, this is just a matter of semantics.
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Uh, may I be permitted to have the client clarify?
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Well, I'd be anxious to have you try.
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Now, Miss Hendricks, this, um, this Mr. Clark,
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you, uh, you say you picked him up?
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Why, s-sure.
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I knocked him down-- playing shuffleboard.
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So why shouldn't I pick him up?
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Even though I'm a lady, I'm still a gentleman.
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JUDGE: Order in the court.
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Now tell me, Miss uh, Hendricks--
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did Mr. Clark ever ask a favor of you?
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Yes.
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Yes, he asked me to wear this necklace.
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He said it was just costume jewelry
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that belonged to his dear departed mother who had died.
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You see, his ex-wife was a real witch--
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was trying to attach everything he had,
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and he wanted to save this necklace
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for sentimental reasons. ( GIGGLES )
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I love sentiment, don't you?
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I was supposed to meet MR. Clark later.
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Where?
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At his apartment at 485 Linden Street.
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I believed him-- wouldn't you?
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How was I to know what kind of a man he was?
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PROSECUTER: Objection, your honor.
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Defendant is attempting to carry on a personal conversation
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with the foreman of the jury.
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JUDGE: Objection sustained.
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Just answer the question, Miss Hendricks.
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You may proceed.
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Now Miss Hendricks, you had no idea
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that you were carrying in diamonds.
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Why, of course not!
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How could I?
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I thought it was just sentimental junk jewelry.
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Thank you, Miss Hendricks. No further questions.
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Your witness, Mr. Mason.
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Thank you, Mr. Berger.
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Now Miss Hendricks,
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you've seen this necklace before?
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What are you doing with those?
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They're Mr. Clark's dead mother's.
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I think he's got some explaining to do.
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So the last time you saw these diamonds
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was when you willfully attempted to smuggle them
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into the country.
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DEFENSE LAWYER: Objection.
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JUDGE: Sustained.
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Miss Hendricks, you want us to believe that a girl of your...
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Sophistication would mistake these priceless diamonds
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for common costume jewelry?
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You really want us to believe that?
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Of course I do!
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I'd be some nut not to want you to.
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Uh, Miss Hendricks, isn't it true
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that this so-called Mr. Clark
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wasn't really a total stranger at all?
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As a matter of fact, isn't it true
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that he was a very close personal friend?
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Isn't it also true
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that this Mr. Clark might be called your lover?
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Oh!
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Miss Hendricks, the prosecuting attorney
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asked you a question.
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I'm not talking to him.
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JUDGE: Miss Hendricks!
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( BANGS GAVEL ) Order in the court.
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Would you please restate the question, Mr. Mason.
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Isn't it true that this... No, it is not true!
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Mr. Clark was not my lover.
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I would never have a boyfriend like Mr. Clark.
264
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,733
He's too short.
265
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,822
I like tall men. ( GIGGLES )
266
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:43,871
I love basketball players.
267
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:54,840
PROSECUTER: Miss Hendricks--
268
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,593
there was no Mr. Clark listed in the ship's register.
269
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,677
How do you account for that?
270
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,179
How should I know?
271
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:03,182
Perhaps because there was no Mr. Clark!
272
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,558
Oh!
273
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,642
( CRYING )
274
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,019
I'll come back when you've finished.
275
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,032
JUDGE: Mr. Foreman...
276
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,036
Please remember this is a court of law
277
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,871
and not a gymnasium.
278
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,710
Oh, thank you.
279
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,639
Are you all right? Yes, thank you very much.
280
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,724
Oh, that, that lovely s-suit.
281
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,614
Thank you so very much.
282
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:02,074
JUDGE: Miss Hendricks,
283
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:04,701
you will not personally address the jury.
284
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,670
The court declares a 15-minute recess.
285
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,179
Honey, I'm home.
286
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,932
Darling, how are you?
287
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:27,933
I'm fine, fine.
288
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,976
Did you hurt yourself?
289
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,102
W-when?
290
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,728
When you fell out of the jury box
291
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:35,107
because you were gawking at Marla Hendricks.
292
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,275
Oh, my g-- was that on television?
293
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:41,113
No, it wasn't on television, but you did put on quite a show.
294
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,364
You were in the courtroom today.
295
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,240
Uh-hm.
296
00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,616
But, now honey, wait a minute, now wait.
297
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,910
I can explain-- nothing.
298
00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:50,789
Well, s-sit down, honey, now wait.
299
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:51,957
Sit down.
300
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,333
Now, honey, look-- first of all,
301
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,794
there were 11 other jurors in that box.
302
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,129
And none of them fell out.
303
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,759
I was the only one. W-- I'm the foreman.
304
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,846
Oh, of course. The foreman always falls out.
305
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,892
Rob, why did you ogle her that way?
306
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,060
Now, honey, what was the matter with the way I ogled her?
307
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,813
I me-- I didn't ogle her!
308
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:15,647
Honey, I would--
309
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:16,982
I was just watching her testimony.
310
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,150
Watching?
311
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,989
Honey, I'm, if, if I didn't know you better,
312
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,240
I'd say you're acting jealous.
313
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,992
I am not acting, and you don't know me
314
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,994
as better as you think!
315
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,746
What?
316
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:31,580
Never mind!
317
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,041
Rob, why did you look at her that way?
318
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,125
What way?
319
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,293
You know what way.
320
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,337
Well, honey, I-I-I didn't look at her any differently
321
00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:40,088
than I look at a hundred other women.
322
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,173
Wait, I don't mean that!
323
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,887
Look, the-the defendant was... An interesting-looking girl,
324
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,139
and now all men look at interesting-looking girls,
325
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:51,016
honey, it's just natural.
326
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,018
Are you coming to court tomorrow?
327
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,270
No. Good!
328
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,147
And I don't think you ought to, either.
329
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,232
What?
330
00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,942
I think you ought to resign.
331
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,027
Resign? Well, resign or secede,
332
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,154
or whatever it is you do to quit a jury.
333
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,864
Well, now why should I quit?
334
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:09,034
Because you're not capable of judging this case fairly.
335
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,160
You're prejudiced.
336
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,037
You're being blinded by statistics.
337
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:15,791
Statistics? Yes, 36-24-36.
338
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:20,170
MAN: Eh, if you ask me,
339
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:23,257
there's nothing to discuss. She's guilty.
340
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,175
WOMAN: I feel sorry for the poor dear.
341
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,052
And why did she have to do a thing like that?
342
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,929
You know, she reminds me of a niece of mine
343
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,722
who ran away to california.
344
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,100
Why is it that some girls are born to get in trouble?
345
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,226
ALL: I don't know.
346
00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:37,020
All right, enough of this yakking.
347
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,438
She's guilty, let's vote, huh?
348
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,439
ALL: All right, yeah, okay.
349
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,524
Let's vote and get out of here.
350
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:42,776
I don't know what I'm doing here in the first place.
351
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:45,487
Nine million people in New York, they gotta pick me.
352
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,031
My brother-in-law, Sydney, he's driving my cab.
353
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,283
He's probably stealing me blind.
354
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,245
Let's put her away before he bends the cab.
355
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:54,746
She's guilty.
356
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:55,747
ALL: Sure, right.
357
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,874
ROB: Well, folks.
358
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,750
Don't you think we're being a little bit hasty here?
359
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,211
A little. All right. Pass 'em down.
360
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,755
You've got 'em on that side, pass 'em down, please.
361
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:04,756
All right, here.
362
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,259
I've got, I've got guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty,
363
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:08,343
five guilties.
364
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:13,932
Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty,
365
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,434
not guilty?
366
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,145
All right, who's the wiseguy?
367
00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:21,440
WOMAN: Yeah, now look--
368
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,442
I'm a very sympathetic person,
369
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:24,526
but if a girl does something wrong,
370
00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:26,445
she's gotta pay for it, right?
371
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:28,155
Right, right. She's guilty.
372
00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,199
One of us here voted her innocent.
373
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,992
Now, who was it?
374
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:36,246
Uh, well, I-I think that uh, uh, who is unimportant here.
375
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,290
Since one of us does disagree, uh,
376
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:41,168
why don't we review the, the facts of the case?
377
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,794
Oh, my poor cab!
378
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:45,923
Wait. The longer we wait, the harder it is
379
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,133
on that poor, dear girl. So let's be kind to her
380
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,968
and get her convicted right away, right?
381
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:51,053
ALL: Yeah.
382
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,095
ROB: We-well, folks,
383
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,013
sometimes things aren't as obvious as they seem.
384
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,890
Now, all we really know about that girl
385
00:16:54,932 --> 00:16:56,141
was she got off the ship
386
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,268
thinking she was wearing costume jewelry.
387
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,145
Now, if she was a professional smuggler,
388
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,188
don't you think she would have done something
389
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,981
more clever than that?
390
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,566
Wait a minute...
391
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:07,152
You're the one voted her innocent.
392
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,112
Aha. He's the one.
393
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,448
Mr. Petrie, I know you feel sorry for that girl
394
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,324
and so do I,
395
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:13,867
but if you really want to be kind to her,
396
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,869
put her behind bars.
397
00:17:15,911 --> 00:17:17,329
So, now, look-- I know I may be wrong,
398
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,039
but there's such a thing as intuition.
399
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,916
I got-I got a feeling about this girl.
400
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:22,042
I'll say you have.
401
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,170
We saw the way you were looking at her during the trial.
402
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,464
What's goin' on here? Huh?
403
00:17:27,506 --> 00:17:29,007
ROB: Nothing's going on.
404
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:29,883
Well, well, wait a minute.
405
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:32,594
Weren't you two in back of my cab once?
406
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:35,180
I think I picked them up by the peppermint lounge.
407
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:37,558
WWOMAN: The peppermint lounge--
408
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,351
look, if you're in love with the girl, good.
409
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,271
I think it's beautiful-- wait for her!
410
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,022
I'll tell ya. Let's vote.
411
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:46,191
The sooner she goes to jail, the sooner they'll be together.
412
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,568
That's right.
413
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:48,527
Wait.
414
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:50,904
I'm already together. I'm a married man.
415
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:52,948
ALL: Aw.
416
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:53,907
Forget it. Oh, forget it.
417
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,951
Forget the whole thing. All I'm saying is,
418
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:58,036
we haven't even discussed the facts in the case.
419
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,206
Now, let's at least look at the evidence in the trial.
420
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,208
I'll, I'll call for a transcript of the case.
421
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,002
MAN: Transcript?
422
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,128
How do you like that?
423
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,921
Nine million people in New York--
424
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:12,217
I gotta be on the same jury with Clarence Darrow.
425
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,427
You're so right!
426
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,894
( YAWNING ) Ohhh! Ah.
427
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,312
Did you ever see anything like this in your life?
428
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:32,070
Eleven hours. Eleven hours!
429
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,864
I never saw such a stubborn foreman.
430
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,495
Look, we're not making a movie here, Mr. Henry Fonda.
431
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,084
We'll make a deal with you.
432
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,336
Vote guilty, and we'll ask the judge
433
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,921
to put her into your custody.
434
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,342
You can adopt her.
435
00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,057
Mr. Petrie, did it ever occur to you
436
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:03,018
that that so-called intuition of yours could be wrong?
437
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:04,603
It's not!
438
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:07,940
One question, Mr. Petrie, please, just one question.
439
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,399
Are you a mother?
440
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,317
No.
441
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,443
Aha! Well, I am a mother,
442
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,695
and believe me, a mother's intuition
443
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:17,991
is better than a tall, skinny comedy writer's.
444
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,035
Anytime, anytime.
445
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,245
I don't even like his show.
446
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,502
Show? That's it!
447
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:30,337
In front of the television studio--
448
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,340
that's where I picked them up-- him and that smuggler.
449
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:35,509
Look, I tell you, that girl is innocent.
450
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:36,301
I know it!
451
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,302
And I'm not gonna be responsible
452
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,596
for sending an innocent girl up the river.
453
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,016
You're never gonna change your vote, are you?
454
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,059
ROB: I'm not gonna vote guilty
455
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,143
as long as there's still--
456
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,729
ALL: A shadow of a doubt, yeah, yeah.
457
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:54,152
Thank you, Mr. Ted Lewis. Just you and your shadow.
458
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,696
Is everybody happy?
459
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:01,201
Someplace else, but not here!
460
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,244
Well, as long as that shadow is with me,
461
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,329
I'll stay here forever.
462
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,332
Folks, we might as well face it, that's it.
463
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,333
We're deadlocked.
464
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,418
ALL: Deadlocked.
465
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,627
That's right. Congratulations.
466
00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,463
Yeah. I hope you're very proud of yourself.
467
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:14,506
I am.
468
00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:17,009
Let's go report our verdict to the defendant...
469
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:20,220
And to the other, uh, duly elected officials.
470
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,143
Oh, uh, hey, Sal, I got it, hold it.
471
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,436
Hold everything-- I got the punch line.
472
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,188
Uh, Alan comes out, and he says,
473
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,230
look, for this big punch,
474
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,440
he says, "put the breakfast in my hat,
475
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,692
and I'll eat it on my way to work."
476
00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:36,153
Or, maybe, uh...
477
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,574
Well, here it is in the evening paper--
478
00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:42,326
"Jury dismissed."
479
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,037
How could 12 supposedly intelligent people
480
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,163
all disagree?
481
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:47,664
She was obviously guilty.
482
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:48,707
Wait a minute. I voted her innocent,
483
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,709
and I wasn't even on the jury.
484
00:20:51,627 --> 00:20:53,295
Say Rob, what was the vote?
485
00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:55,297
Men, innocent, women, guilty?
486
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:58,717
No, for your information, a lot of the men voted guilty.
487
00:20:58,717 --> 00:20:59,801
LAURA: How many?
488
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:02,679
Well, honey, what difference does it make how many?
489
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,556
Do we, do we have any more coffee?
490
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:07,059
Rob, your cup is full.
491
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,603
Oh, how about that?
492
00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:11,647
Well?
493
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:12,731
Well what?
494
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,191
How many men voted her guilty?
495
00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,734
I, uh, forgot, honey.
496
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,069
All right, then.
497
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:18,445
How many men voted her innocent?
498
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,072
Uh, well.
499
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,782
That is, besides you.
500
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:25,452
Well, let's see, there was me...
501
00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:28,205
And there was that cab driver there...
502
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,665
He voted not guilty?
503
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,083
Well, not exactly.
504
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:34,419
He voted guilty?
505
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:35,629
Well, uh, yeah,
506
00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,089
something like that, honey.
507
00:21:37,089 --> 00:21:38,507
I don't remember all the details of it,
508
00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:39,091
and you know...
509
00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:40,008
( TELEPHONE RINGING )
510
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,427
Uh, the telephone is ringing, Mrs. D.A.
511
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:49,226
Hello? Oh, hello, Miss Hendricks.
512
00:21:49,268 --> 00:21:51,061
~ Do-do-do-dah-do-do-do
513
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:56,316
Yes, I'm Mrs. Petrie.
514
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:57,484
Oh?
515
00:21:57,526 --> 00:21:59,611
If it weren't for my husband alone,
516
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:01,446
you'd be in jail?
517
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:03,657
Eleven to one?
518
00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:04,700
Lousy odds!
519
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:07,744
Well, no, don't thank me.
520
00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:08,787
He's the one you should thank.
521
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,289
Just a minute-- I'll get him.
522
00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:14,751
It's your defendant, darling-- Marla Hendricks.
523
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:16,461
Y-yes, thank you, honey.
524
00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:19,339
Eh, gee, I wonder what she wants.
525
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:23,343
Hello, yes, Miss Hendricks.
526
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,304
This is quite a surprise.
527
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:26,305
Yeah.
528
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,306
No, no, you're not, you're not disturbing me.
529
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,725
I'm just, uh chatting with a few friends...
530
00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:32,811
And my wife.
531
00:22:35,314 --> 00:22:37,858
Why, no, I-- ( GIGGLES )
532
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,360
It's silly.
533
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,361
Well, okay.
534
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:43,488
( WHISPERING ) A gray suit with a black tie.
535
00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:49,495
She, she likes the way I dress.
536
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,163
I'm so happy for you.
537
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:52,623
Uh, Miss uh, Miss Hendricks,
538
00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:55,501
why did you, why did you call? Oh, listen.
539
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,543
No thanks are necessary.
540
00:22:56,585 --> 00:22:58,879
I-I just thought you were innocent, that's all.
541
00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:01,381
Uh, you, you were innocent, weren't you?
542
00:23:03,217 --> 00:23:04,801
No, I didn't.
543
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,678
When?
544
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,180
Oh, well, I-I appreciate your call
545
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,516
and tell me, Miss Hendricks.
546
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,184
You-you're quite welcome.
547
00:23:12,184 --> 00:23:13,519
Yes, good-bye.
548
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,645
Uh, uh, have a nice trip.
549
00:23:18,524 --> 00:23:19,858
Uh, she's going away.
550
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:21,443
What a shame.
551
00:23:21,485 --> 00:23:24,613
We, uh, we missed the evening newscast.
552
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:25,531
How about that--
553
00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,783
I wondered why the evening seemed so empty.
554
00:23:29,243 --> 00:23:30,619
Rob, are you going to tell us what was in that newscast
555
00:23:30,661 --> 00:23:32,663
or do we have to wait for the morning paper?
556
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:36,333
Well, Marla Hendricks has been proven innocent.
557
00:23:36,375 --> 00:23:37,501
How?
558
00:23:37,543 --> 00:23:39,753
Well, uh, seems she made a teensy-weensy little mistake
559
00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:40,754
in her testimony.
560
00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:43,507
You remember Mr. Clark of 485 Linden Street?
561
00:23:43,549 --> 00:23:44,633
Uh-hm.
562
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:45,551
The guy that was supposed to have given her the jewelry?
563
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:46,802
That's right.
564
00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:48,929
She suddenly remembered that Mr. Clark of 485 Linden Street
565
00:23:48,971 --> 00:23:52,432
was Mr. Linden of 485 Clark Street.
566
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:53,433
Well!
567
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,476
The police went and checked up on her story
568
00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:55,435
and they found him.
569
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:56,353
Oh!
570
00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:57,646
And that was about all the news she had
571
00:23:57,688 --> 00:23:59,439
except that she was going back with Buster and the Harem Girls
572
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:02,359
if she could remember what country they're in.
573
00:24:03,235 --> 00:24:04,403
Well, friends, don't you think
574
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:07,614
maybe a few apologies are in order here?
575
00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:08,699
Yes?
576
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,702
ALL: I'm sorry, buddy.
577
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:13,245
Hey, come on, you guys.
578
00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:15,581
Well, that's all you deserve!
579
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,624
Yeah, well, you're probably right, honey.
580
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,501
You know, I did prove one thing, though--
581
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:21,253
that when it comes to voluptuous,
582
00:24:21,253 --> 00:24:23,005
beautiful, gorgeous women,
583
00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:24,506
the instinct of a skinny comedy writer
584
00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:27,259
is better than that of a mother.
585
00:24:27,301 --> 00:24:28,760
You can say that again!
586
00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:29,970
If he does, I'll kill him!
587
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,597
When it comes to a beautiful, gorgeous,
588
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,765
voluptuous woman... Robert Simpson Petrie,
589
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,309
don't you...
590
00:25:31,532 --> 00:25:34,451
( MUSIC PLAYING )42264
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