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~~
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Red knight on the black ten.
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Oh. Thanks.
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Hey, Rob, how about having a poker game at your house this week?
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Fine with me. Does that mean...
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If we play at your house, Laura will play?
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Sure. Ah, forget.
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I don't play poker with females.
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Yeah, me, neither.
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How many we got now?
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There's Rob, you and me.
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Yeah, that's right. We could use four more.
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How about if we call-- ( KNOCK ON DOOR )
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Sally, will you get that? Yeah, sure.
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Oh, hi, Mel. Sally.
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Well, Judge Crater returns.
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Sally, this was left in my office by mistake
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with a note from the repairman that it works fine now.
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Thanks for bringing it in.
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Mel, how about a poker game Thursday night?
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Fine. Who are the players gonna be?
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No women, I hope. Nah.
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No, just Buddy, me and Sally.
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Count on me.
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Excuse me, Rob.
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Do we have to have him play?
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At least that's one pigeon we're sure of.
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Hey, Buddy, give me a hand.
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Very funny. Now, will you help me, please?
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Come on, you're stronger than I am. Do it yourself, Mac.
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Thanks very large.
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Let's see, we got four now.
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Snappy service, lunchtime!
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Which of you guys is paying?
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That's the second time in three days.
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I'm beginning to feel like a sugar daddy.
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Okay, here you are, sport.
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Buy yourself something foolish.
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Thanks, pop.
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( TELEPHONE RINGS )
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Hello? Oh, hi, Laura.
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Yeah, he's here. Just a minute. It's Laura.
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Oh. Hi, Laura.
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Hi, honey.
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Yeah, that was Buddy.
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Fine.
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They're right here. I'll ask them.
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Hey, Laura's got this tremendous leg of lamb.
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She wants to know if you'll come over for dinner tonight.
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With or without mates?
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With or without mates? With.
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That lets me out.
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No, Sal, she means "mate"
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in a general sense, like date.
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I can't call a fella at the last minute for a date.
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Laura doesn't care if you come alone.
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Honey, you don't care if Sally comes stag.
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She wants to talk to you.
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I'll get out of here. It's like Grand Central Station.
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Hi, Laura.
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Gee, I'm sorry I'm such a deadbeat.
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But--
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you have?
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The brother of a friend?
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Well, I don't know.
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Before I accept a date with anyone,
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I gotta know a little more about him.
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Like what? Well, like, uh...
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Where does he live and what time does he want me to call for him?
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I still think Ted ought to be calling for Sally.
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Why, honey? As she said,
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she goes right by his place on her way here.
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If he had to pick her up,
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he'd have to go out of his way.
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I suppose so, but--
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Ritchie, put that down. You'll spoil the design.
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The design? Yes, we want the company
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to see how pretty it looks.
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Oh, I didn't know it was for looking.
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I thought it was for eating.
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It is, dear-- but after everyone's seen it.
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Oh. I think it'll look nice without that one.
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Ritchie.
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Without that one. Ritchie!
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Rob, will you do something with this boy?
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Sure. Yeah, boy.
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If y'all don't pay no mind to your ma,
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you're going to bed without your caviar hors d'oeuvres.
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Now, git, young'un!
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( DOORBELL RINGS )
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You can start the party! Buddy's here!
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Hi!
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You look wonderful. I know.
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Hi, aunt Pickles! Hi, uncle Buddy!
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Hi, Ritchie! How's the boy?
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Ooh, I hope we're not late.
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No, right on time. Are we the first ones here?
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I bet we're first again.
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We're not first. Rob and Laura are here.
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Oh, yeah, good. I hate to be first.
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Yeah.
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How's, uh-- how's the Indians
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and the cowboys and everything?
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Ritchie, I brought you some chocolate cigarettes.
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Thanks, aunt Pickles. You're welcome.
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Buddy, why is it you're always on time for parties
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and always late for work?
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I'd be on time for work if you had Laura down there
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with some of that world-renowned cooking.
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Well, aren't you the flatterer?
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Don't be so flattered. If you had to live on Pickles' cooking,
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you'd think hard-boiled eggs were a delicacy.
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Buddy, that's not very nice. Pickles, sit down.
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It may not be nice, but it's the truth.
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Go ahead, honey. Tell them what a terrible cook you are.
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Well, my mother's known as the worst cook in the whole neighborhood,
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and she taught me everything she knows.
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Boy, you haven't lived
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till you've tried her boiled steaks.
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With hot water sauce.
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Buddy, I'm sure you're exaggerating.
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No!
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Only time we have home cooking
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is when it's somebody else's home.
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Hey, how about eating something?
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Sally's not here yet.
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Buddy, I'd like to ask you a question.
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Do you agree with Rob that it's all right
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for Sally to call for her date?
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Sure, why not?
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Then you think it's all right
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for a girl to call for a man?
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Oh, no, no.
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So? So what?
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So why did you say it was all right
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for Sally to call for her date?
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What's that got to do
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with a girl picking up a fella?
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Really, Buddy.
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Mommy! He's taking one!
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No, I'm not!
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Buddy, it's all right. Go right ahead and have one.
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( DOORBELL RINGS )
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( OVERLAPPING CHATTER )
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Hi, Sally.
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( OVERLAPPING CHATTER )
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Mr. and Mrs. Sorrell, this is Ted Harris.
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Mr. Sorrell, how do you do? Mrs. Sorrell.
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Make that "Buddy".
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You can call me "Pickles", okay?
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Pickles. That's an odd name.
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I never heard anybody called Pickles before.
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Yes, it is a strange name.
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But my real name is Fiona.
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And in my neighborhood, everybody named Fiona
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is called Pickles.
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Were there many Fionas in your neighborhood?
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Just me.
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Don't try to figure it out. Just believe her.
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Aunt Sally, can I have a horsey ride?
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You want a horsey ride?
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Come on there, cowboy. Let's go.
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I'll give you a horsey ride.
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Ritchie, I think it's time for bed.
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After aunt Sally gives me a horsey ride.
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Ritchie, you might hurt aunt Sally.
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Rob, will you tell Ritchie to go to bed?
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Honey, if you're worried about Sally's back,
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forget it. She's as strong as a bull.
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Rob!
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Ritchie, say good night to everyone
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and go to bed. Okay, mommy.
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Good night, Ritchie. Good night.
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Here, let me help you.
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That's all right. Didn't you hear Rob?
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I'm as strong as a bull.
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( INDISTINCT CHATTER )
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My, don't you look pretty tonight.
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Oh, thank you.
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You do, too, Pickles. But I meant Sally.
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I do? Yes, I love your hair that way.
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It looks so soft and feminine.
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Don't you think so, Ted?
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Oh, yes, it's very becoming, Sally.
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You really like it? Very becoming.
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Why not? After three hours, you become becoming.
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You should've seen me before I went to the beauty parlor
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and became becoming. You'd have been be-going.
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( LAUGHTER )
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Listen, my hair was flying out like this.
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You've never seen anything like this.
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( INDISTINCT CHATTER )
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Sally, I could use a little help in the kitchen.
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Oh, sure, I'd be happy to help you.
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You know, Sally's quite an excellent cook.
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Oh, is she? Yeah, Sally's quite a girl.
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Oh, Laura.
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I'll second that.
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She can tell a joke
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as good as any man.
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Really? No, not really.
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Rob: Oh, yes, she can, honey.
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Sal, tell him the one
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about the two drunks in central park.
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That's a dandy. I really could use some help.
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What do you need done?
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Well, some water glasses need filling.
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That's one of the few things Pickles can help you with.
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Oh, I'd be glad to.
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Say, do you put the ice cubes in before or after?
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Before.
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Oh, good. so do I.
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Okay, ladies. In the kitchen.
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We guys are gonna stay out here
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and tell some stories.
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Go ahead, Sal. Okay.
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I'll tell the two drunks in Central Park, right?
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These two drunks are in central park,
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and they go into the zoo.
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They're standing in front of the lion's cage.
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All of a sudden, one of the lions lets out a big roar.
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One of these-- "Roar! Roar!"
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And one drunk turns to the other and says,
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"Hey, let's get out of here."
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The other one says, "You can't leave now.
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The picture just started."
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What'd I tell you?
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Isn't that a knee-slapper?
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Can't she tell a joke as good as any man?
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Oh!
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( ALL CHATTERING )
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Come on, Ted. I'll drive you home.
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Good night. Good night.
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Good night, Sal.
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You know something, honey?
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You are a great little hostess.
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Don't talk to me.
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I take it all back. You're not a great little hostess.
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Rob, how could you? How could I what?
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Don't play innocent. You know what "how could you".
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How dare you?
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How dare I? What happened to "how could you"?
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All right, if you're gonna make jokes...
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I'll stop making jokes if you tell me what's bothering you.
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How dare you treat Sally like that?
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Like what?
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Like one of the boys.
248
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Honey, what's the matter with that?
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Just one little thing.
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She's not a boy, she's a girl.
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Of course she is. I know that.
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You certainly don't act it.
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What do you want me to do, hug her and kiss her
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every time I see her?
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I'm not asking you to hug or kiss her.
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I'm simply asking you not to announce
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in front of a potential boyfriend, in a loud, clear voice,
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that she's as strong as a bull.
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Or for your charming and lovable friend Buddy
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to tell everyone how she almost beat the delivery boy
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in hand wrestling.
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Well, honey, I-- and after dinner,
263
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,434
when you included her when you said, "All right, fellas,
264
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,895
let's go into the den for brandy and cigars."
265
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:48,607
Well, she went, didn't she?
266
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,108
Well, Rob, after spending a day
267
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,777
with you two treating her like that,
268
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,904
she forgets herself that she's a girl.
269
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,073
She'll probably never see Ted again,
270
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,158
and she's got you two lovable stinkers to thank for that.
271
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,118
Could you hand me those dishes, please?
272
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,121
I'm sorry, honey. I really am.
273
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,499
But you know how fond I am of Sal.
274
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:08,043
I don't know. Sitting in an office all day together, working,
275
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,712
you kind of lose your awareness of people as people.
276
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,006
I couldn't tell you right now what color Buddy's eyes are.
277
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,800
Well, that doesn't hurt Buddy.
278
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,635
But forgetting that Sally is a girl
279
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,762
has hurt her very much.
280
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:22,599
Yeah. Boy, when you're right, you're right.
281
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,518
I tell you what-- starting tomorrow,
282
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,937
I'm gonna make Sir Walter Raleigh look like a boor.
283
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,481
Well, don't overdo it, or she'll think you're ribbing her.
284
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,693
See if you can inject a little of Sir Walter into Sir Buddy.
285
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,487
Yeah. No, honey, we'd better leave him out of this.
286
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,989
You know Buddy. Everything's jokes.
287
00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,824
He'll start pouring water on the floor
288
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,909
so he can throw his coat down for her to walk on.
289
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,703
You may be right.
290
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:45,873
Don't worry. I shall be gallant enough for two.
291
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,916
Rob, don't joke about it.
292
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:50,711
Just remember that Sally is a girl.
293
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,754
Don't worry, I'll remember. Starting tomorrow,
294
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,548
I'll make it my personal responsibility
295
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:57,634
to tell the whole world that Sally is a girl.
296
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,017
Morning, Rob. Hi, Sal.
297
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,977
Oh, morning, Sally!
298
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,271
Gee, you look wonderful today. Oh, thanks.
299
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,981
Have a chair.
300
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,066
Not just yet, thanks.
301
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,527
Hey, sure was a nice party at your house last night, Rob.
302
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,237
Oh, thanks. How did things go
303
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,198
with you and Ted after you left?
304
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,201
Well, things didn't, but he did. Oh?
305
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,869
Yeah, in his rush to get out,
306
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,623
he almost broke the hinges on my car door.
307
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:31,043
You know, somehow I got the impression I wasn't his type.
308
00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:33,670
Too bad, 'cause he sure was mine.
309
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,714
Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.
310
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,133
Let me help you with that, Sal.
311
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,177
Thanks.
312
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:43,847
Hey, what's the matter? Sally break her arm or something?
313
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,183
She didn't break her arm.
314
00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:49,853
Hey, Sal, you smell good today. I do?
315
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,105
Why not? The best bay rum money can buy.
316
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:55,692
Bay rum! That's very funny.
317
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,694
I don't think that's so funny.
318
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,821
Maybe it's a little early. I didn't get warmed up yet.
319
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,865
You hear the one about the two guys who got off a bus--
320
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,242
what do you say we cut the jokes
321
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,868
and get some work done around here?
322
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,078
Yeah, forget the jokes.
323
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,746
We gotta write a comedy show.
324
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,790
No funny stuff.
325
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,709
Sally, will you get the typewriter out? Oh, sure.
326
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,586
Oh, excuse me! I'll get it.
327
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,173
Ah, here we are.
328
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:22,928
Sit down, Sal.
329
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,264
All right, what's the gag?
330
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,059
All I know is, I'd check my accident policy before I sat down.
331
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:30,894
Sit down.
332
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,611
Okay, I give up.
333
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,613
Did I get a raise or did I get fired?
334
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,283
A gentleman always helps a lady with her chair.
335
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,660
Guess there's a first time for everything.
336
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,954
Uh, Sal, you know, you have wonderful taste.
337
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,998
That's a beautiful blouse you're wearing.
338
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,251
You like it? It's yours!
339
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:57,004
No, Sally, I really mean it.
340
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,298
What's with all the compliments all of a sudden?
341
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,175
I think it's time we appreciated
342
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,302
having a bright, attractive girl around the office.
343
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,970
Yeah, when is she gonna start work here?
344
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,640
Very funny, Buddy. I think I'll use that
345
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,392
in next week's show. I like that.
346
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,060
I don't think that was very funny.
347
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,854
Why don't we get down to business now?
348
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,147
Okay.
349
00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,274
Wait, I'll get that.
350
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:18,692
Oh.
351
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,777
What a lovely hand.
352
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,156
Allow me.
353
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,171
Oh, I guess there's no one here yet.
354
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,174
Mel! Mel, wait a minute.
355
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,134
I gotta talk to you.
356
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,011
I do not speak to you.
357
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,680
I know, and don't think I don't appreciate it, curly.
358
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,892
Please, just give me a minute.
359
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,352
It's important. It's about Rob.
360
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,811
What about Rob?
361
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,105
Look...
362
00:14:57,147 --> 00:15:00,108
I--I'm sorry. I promise, no baldy jokes
363
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,944
if you just listen to me, okay?
364
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,695
What about Rob?
365
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,324
Well, have you noticed
366
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,076
something funny going on around here?
367
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,245
No, and that includes the scripts.
368
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,080
I thought we had a truce.
369
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,124
All right, what's this something funny going on?
370
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,793
It's about Sally and Rob.
371
00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,419
Where do you think they are now?
372
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,713
How do I know? Out to lunch!
373
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,298
Well, what's funny about that?
374
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,925
I'm not with them, am I?
375
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,802
When I said I'd like to go along,
376
00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,846
Rob says, "Oh, no. Two's company. Three's a crowd."
377
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,390
I guess sometimes your best friends will tell you.
378
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,853
You don't understand. He invited her.
379
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:38,313
Like a fella invites a girl.
380
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,232
Like a fella invites a girl?
381
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,276
Yeah, you know, uh... "Would you care
382
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,736
to have lunch with me today, doll-face?"
383
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,155
Who said that, he or she?
384
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:50,325
He said it! Just like Sally was a girl or something.
385
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,411
Oh, it must've been a practical joke.
386
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:54,079
No, there have been other things,
387
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,747
like holding her chair for her.
388
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,374
Nine times last week, he lit her cigarette.
389
00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:59,209
Twice, he admired her dress,
390
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,420
and three times, her legs.
391
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,505
He did? He did.
392
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:06,967
Do you think that Sally and Rob--
393
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,969
Oh, it couldn't be. That's ridiculous.
394
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,846
What else?
395
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:13,765
Well, why, after all these years of working together?
396
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,475
You know how it is. Sometimes a guy
397
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,186
can't stand the sight of yogurt.
398
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,520
All of a sudden, one look--
399
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:20,189
pshh! Whipped cream.
400
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:25,027
You think this is serious? I know it is.
401
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,779
All right, you've got to do something about it. You talk to him.
402
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,865
Talk to him? I think he's too far gone for that.
403
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,825
Besides, he's the head writer.
404
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,285
I can't tell him to stop hanky-pankying around
405
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,786
and go back to his wife.
406
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,497
You certainly can talk to Sally.
407
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:39,333
All right, I'll talk to Sally when they come back.
408
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,084
But you get Rob out of the room.
409
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,128
Here they come now.
410
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,963
( LOUDLY ) And as far as I'm concerned, curly,
411
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,049
you don't ever have to come around this office!
412
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,800
Don't tell me you two are at it again.
413
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,552
Aw, fellas, don't spoil it.
414
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,971
We had such a lovely lunch, didn't we, Rob?
415
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,015
It wasn't the lunch that was lovely, it was the company.
416
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,975
Oh, thank you, Rob.
417
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,269
I'll just get some water...
418
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,313
For our little bouquet here.
419
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,273
Aren't they beautiful?
420
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:06,318
Rob bought them for me from a little old flower lady.
421
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,028
There we are.
422
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,447
Oh, thank you.
423
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,158
There. It was so wonderful.
424
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:15,994
Allow me. Thank you.
425
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:22,251
Rob, I wonder if I could talk to you about next week's script.
426
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,377
Sure, what about it?
427
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,920
In my office.
428
00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:26,421
Oh, all right.
429
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,467
Thank you, Rob.
430
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,262
We'll just be a minute.
431
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,350
What's the matter with the show? You already read the script.
432
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,477
Sally? Yeah?
433
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,229
Oh, boy, I never thought
434
00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,356
I'd have to do a thing like this in my life.
435
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,400
I don't know how to say it. Say what?
436
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,068
Sally, you've gotta give him up.
437
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,528
Him? Yeah, him.
438
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:50,946
I got a "him"?
439
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:52,447
Yeah, you got a "him".
440
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,491
Why am I always the last one to know?
441
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,952
Come on, Sally, I know what's going on.
442
00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:59,204
Look, I don't know who "him" is, but whoever "him" is,
443
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,040
if I got him, wild horses couldn't make me give him up.
444
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,585
Will you stop playing games with me?
445
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,587
You can't do this to her.
446
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,505
Her? Her.
447
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:10,299
My "him" has got a "her"?
448
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,050
You know he has.
449
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,969
Well, there's my luck for you.
450
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:17,598
I lost him, and I don't even know who he is.
451
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:20,893
Come on, don't play little Miss Innocence with me.
452
00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,644
We can't do this to Laura.
453
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:25,564
I don't--Laura?
454
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:27,191
Come on, Sally.
455
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,401
She's the "her"?
456
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,571
Then Rob's the--huh?!
457
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,990
You think Rob and--
458
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,909
Yes, and Mel thinks so, too.
459
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,369
He does? Yeah, and so does everybody else
460
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,955
who's seen Rob buzzing around you the last few days.
461
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,082
You think Rob has a--
462
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,584
a crush on you, yeah.
463
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,377
Personally, I don't understand it.
464
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,421
But that's not my problem. It's your problem,
465
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:52,007
and you gotta do something about it. Like what?
466
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,134
Like telling Rob he's gotta do something about it.
467
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,428
Unless you want to break up a happy marriage.
468
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,972
You think I could come between Laura and--
469
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,016
No, I don't, but evidently Rob does.
470
00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:04,144
Now, you've gotta do something about it before it's too late.
471
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,063
Yeah, yeah.
472
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,482
Good, Sally. Believe me, you're doing the right thing.
473
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,610
What's the matter with Mel?
474
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,987
He took me all the way to his office
475
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,240
to tell me what a good writer I am. What's bothering him?
476
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,367
I don't know. Well, see you later, fellas.
477
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,953
Buddy, you don't have to leave on my account.
478
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,330
Rob and I don't have any secrets, do we, Rob?
479
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,123
Uh, no.
480
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:32,089
Thanks a lot, Rob.
481
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,301
I'll see you later.
482
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,182
What--what-- what's with her?
483
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:45,602
To me, it looks a lot like love.
484
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,149
Love?
485
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,360
Oh, no.
486
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:55,362
Oh, no!
487
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,660
Hi, honey. Hi, hon.
488
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,122
Congratulations. You did it.
489
00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:06,623
What did I do?
490
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,333
You remember you said that the only thing
491
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,210
that could make Sally feel like a woman
492
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,045
is having to think another man was in love with her?
493
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,214
Yeah. Well, it's happened.
494
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,341
Oh, Rob, isn't that wonderful?
495
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,427
See? I told you if you just treat her like a girl,
496
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,137
everything would work out just fine.
497
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,597
Who's the lucky fella?
498
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,265
Me.
499
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,686
Oh. Well, that's terrible. How did it happen?
500
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:29,771
How did it happen? I did what you told me to do.
501
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,648
I treated like a female.
502
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,442
I held her chair for her, I lit her cigarette for her,
503
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,068
and I told her she smelled good.
504
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,112
Now I think she's in love with me.
505
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:39,031
Sally's in love with you? Yeah.
506
00:20:39,031 --> 00:20:40,616
And she thinks I'm in love with her.
507
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,659
What are you gonna do about it?
508
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,537
If I'm gonna do the decent thing, I'll have to marry her.
509
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:48,749
Stop over-dramatizing.
510
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:51,376
Over-dramatizing? You wouldn't think I was over-dramatizing
511
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:54,087
if you'd seen the look on her face when she kissed me.
512
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,298
She kissed you?! Yes, she kissed me.
513
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,675
Where? Right in the office.
514
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,431
Why would she do a thing like that?
515
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:06,391
Because I'm irresistible.
516
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,393
Because I treated her like a woman.
517
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,479
Are you satisfied now, honey?
518
00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:12,314
You've taken a perfectly happy marriage--
519
00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,650
we are having a happy marriage, aren't we? Very.
520
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,318
Yes, you've taken a very happy marriage
521
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,654
and turned into a very unhappy triangle.
522
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,614
Oh, Rob. ( DOORBELL RINGS )
523
00:21:20,656 --> 00:21:23,575
Buddy and Sally and I had a perfect working relationship
524
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:25,744
until you tried to improve it.
525
00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:28,247
You've got me in a position where I can't even go into the office.
526
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:30,332
How am I gonna face that kid?
527
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:32,209
Every time I look at her, I'll feel like a heel.
528
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,418
What am I gonna say to her?
529
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,671
Hi, Sal!
530
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,339
Oh, you're home.
531
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:39,216
( STAMMERING )
532
00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:41,635
You are home? Oh, yes. Come in, Sal.
533
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:44,304
Come on in, Ted. They're home.
534
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,098
Hi, Rob. Hi, Laura.
535
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,183
We were just passing by on our way to dinner,
536
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:50,269
and we thought we'd drop in and say hello.
537
00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:52,312
Fine, sit down. Oh, thanks.
538
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,606
How--how-- how'd you two--
539
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:56,692
Well, it's a very funny story.
540
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,569
You see, Rob-- ( LAUGHS )
541
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:00,529
Well, why don't you tell them, Ted?
542
00:22:00,571 --> 00:22:02,614
You say things so much better than I do.
543
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:05,576
Yes, well, I was sitting around in my apartment,
544
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,828
and suddenly the doorbell rings.
545
00:22:07,870 --> 00:22:09,788
I said to myself, "Who could that be?"
546
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,790
I open the door. Sally.
547
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:14,459
Seems her car had stalled right in front of my house.
548
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,461
Right in front of your house.
549
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,463
Luckily, I remembered where Ted lived.
550
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,299
Luckily for me, she remembered where I live.
551
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,301
Anyway, you should've seen her, all in a dither
552
00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,303
about not being able to start the car.
553
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:26,805
Naturally, she came to me for help.
554
00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,766
Yes, and he spotted the trouble immediately.
555
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:32,144
It was really nothing. I opened the hood,
556
00:22:32,144 --> 00:22:34,521
and all that had happened was that one of the terminals
557
00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:36,648
had jumped off the, uh--the--the--
558
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,233
distributor cap.
559
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:39,651
That's right, the distribu--
560
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,448
How'd you know that?
561
00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,909
Well, you told me. Don't you remember?
562
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,869
I mean, how am I supposed to know
563
00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:52,414
about all those mechanical biddly-boos that go in a car?
564
00:22:52,456 --> 00:22:54,374
( LAUGHING ) Biddly-boo!
565
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,543
Isn't that just like a woman?
566
00:22:56,585 --> 00:22:59,713
Biddly-boos. Biddly-boos.
567
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:02,466
Ted?
568
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:09,223
That's the first time I ever heard a distributor cap
569
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:11,892
called a "biddly-boo".
570
00:23:11,934 --> 00:23:14,478
Just like a woman.
571
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,361
Then you knew about it all along.
572
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:24,780
Sure. What do you think I am, a dummy or something?
573
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,740
Why else would you be doing the Sir Galahad bit
574
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:28,700
if it wasn't Laura's idea?
575
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,494
Why did you let me go on with it?
576
00:23:30,536 --> 00:23:32,830
I liked it.
577
00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:36,542
Besides, a lunch saved is a lunch earned.
578
00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,794
Then you knew all along
579
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:41,338
that Buddy was wrong about us. Sure.
580
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:43,257
But the fact that he could believe it.
581
00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:46,218
And Mel! It's just like my mother always says--
582
00:23:46,218 --> 00:23:49,888
if two people say you're sick, lie down.
583
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:53,475
If those two experts could think me enough of a female
584
00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:55,352
to interest a guy like you,
585
00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:58,814
I couldn't let 'em down, could I?
586
00:23:58,856 --> 00:24:01,859
Besides...
587
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:04,903
Suddenly I felt like a woman.
588
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,572
How do you like those guys?
589
00:24:06,572 --> 00:24:08,407
Both of them really bel--
590
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,742
Uh, honey...
591
00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:13,328
We'll let Laura have Ritchie
592
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:15,706
if she'll let us have the Hi-Fi set.
593
00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:18,625
Oh, of course, sweetheart.
594
00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:20,460
Uh, can I have the insurance
595
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,254
transferred to my name?
596
00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:23,881
Anything you say, sweetheart.
597
00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:25,382
What about the wedding?
598
00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:26,925
We'll have Mel as best man,
599
00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:29,803
and Buddy can be our little flower girl.
600
00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:36,602
Do you mind closing the door?
601
00:24:36,602 --> 00:24:38,395
We'd like a little privacy.
602
00:24:43,567 --> 00:24:45,444
~~43977
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