All language subtitles for The Dick Van Dyke Show - 01x07 - Jealousy!

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,359 --> 00:00:01,922 ~~ 2 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,624 You mean he was actually leading a double life 3 00:00:37,729 --> 00:00:39,376 and his wife didn't know anything about it? 4 00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:41,712 Oh, come on, Laura, don't be naive. 5 00:00:41,859 --> 00:00:43,714 The wife is always the last to know. 6 00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,716 Millie? I'm right here, honey. 7 00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:47,968 Hi, Laurie. Hi, Jerry. 8 00:00:48,073 --> 00:00:50,304 Why can't you be home to give me a kiss like other wives do? 9 00:00:50,409 --> 00:00:52,681 What other wives have been giving you kisses? 10 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:54,642 Ha ha! Not bad! 11 00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:57,144 Living next door to a comedy writer has rubbed off. 12 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,271 What's for dinner tonight? Pot roast-- 13 00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,982 Oh, excuse me. Laurie, we are playing bridge tonight, aren't we? 14 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,026 We sure are. I baked a cake for the occasion. 15 00:01:04,173 --> 00:01:07,029 Oh, boy. you Rob are really gonna get slammed around tonight. 16 00:01:07,176 --> 00:01:09,406 Well, we weren't the ones who got slammed around last week. 17 00:01:09,553 --> 00:01:11,283 No, but I've been doing something about it since then. 18 00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:12,660 Oh? Studying up on bridge? 19 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,204 Nope, marking cards. 20 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:18,165 Jerry, you're just awful. Isn't he awful? 21 00:01:18,270 --> 00:01:21,960 He wasn't really marking cards. He's always joking. 22 00:01:22,107 --> 00:01:24,296 Hey, you know, I ought to have her husband's job. 23 00:01:24,443 --> 00:01:26,256 By the way, how's the show coming this week? 24 00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,925 And who's the guest star? 25 00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:30,219 Valerie Blake. Valerie Blake?! 26 00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:32,763 Rrraowrrr! Boy! 27 00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:35,015 Hey, I'll bet Rob masterminded that bit of casting. 28 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,142 Ask him if he wants to switch jobs for a week. 29 00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:40,104 I'll write the show, he can drill teeth. Rrraowrrr! 30 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:43,857 This man is the end. All the time-- rrraowrrr-ing. 31 00:01:43,962 --> 00:01:45,776 You just mention a pretty girl's name 32 00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:47,695 and he rrraowrrrs. 33 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,780 Let's go home, and I'll rrraowrrr for you. 34 00:01:49,927 --> 00:01:51,198 Oh, stop that. 35 00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,450 Laurie, doesn't it bother you a little 36 00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,953 that a beautiful movie star like Valerie Blake 37 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,705 is working with Rob on the show? 38 00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,207 No. Now, Jerry, you stop that. 39 00:02:00,312 --> 00:02:03,168 I think it's wonderful Laura has such faith in her husband. 40 00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:04,837 What's so special about Rob? 41 00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,880 It wouldn't surprise me one bit 42 00:02:06,985 --> 00:02:08,716 if that telephone rang any minute now, and it was Rob saying, 43 00:02:08,821 --> 00:02:10,426 "Honey, I'm sorry I can't come home tonight. 44 00:02:10,572 --> 00:02:12,219 I have to work a little late." 45 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,305 Don't listen to him, Laura. 46 00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:16,265 Jerry, you're just terrible! 47 00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:20,060 Isn't he terrible? You're just terrible. 48 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,021 Rob is a darling. 49 00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:24,273 And you're just terrible, jerry! 50 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,900 He's a darling and I'm terrible. Well, all I know 51 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,944 is that I am home hugging my wife. 52 00:02:29,091 --> 00:02:30,362 We don't know what Rob is doing. 53 00:02:30,509 --> 00:02:32,031 Yes, we do. Oh, no, we don't. 54 00:02:32,177 --> 00:02:34,158 He's working, that's what he's doing. 55 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,201 Working? With Valerie Blake? 56 00:02:36,348 --> 00:02:37,745 Rrraowrrr. 57 00:02:39,184 --> 00:02:40,789 Hey, listen, don't you think 58 00:02:40,936 --> 00:02:42,750 we ought to call Eddie Labose 59 00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:44,418 to make a fourth for bridge, just in case? 60 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,087 In case what? In case old Rob has to work late. 61 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,089 Jerry, you're just awful! 62 00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:52,092 What do you mean? Isn't he awful? You're just awful! 63 00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:54,053 ( CHATTERING CONTINUES ) 64 00:03:06,044 --> 00:03:07,900 ( HUMS ) 65 00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:12,321 Why you're not married, I'll never understand. 66 00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:14,823 You're gorgeous! Mwah! 67 00:03:16,638 --> 00:03:19,328 Rob, I think we'd better get out of this padded cell. 68 00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:22,414 One of the inmates is starting to talk to herself. 69 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,375 Oh, I think we can go home now. 70 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,418 Alan's had that sketch for over an hour. 71 00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:29,004 If he didn't like it, we'd know it by now. 72 00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:31,298 I think it's one of the best sketches we ever wrote. 73 00:03:31,403 --> 00:03:33,467 If Alan says no, 74 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,552 you can type out my resignation. 75 00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:38,555 Alan said no. Start typing, Sally. 76 00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:41,308 Oh, no. Mel, I hope you're kidding. 77 00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:43,352 I'm not kidding. He doesn't like it. 78 00:03:43,499 --> 00:03:45,813 He says there aren't any jokes for Miss Blake. 79 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,815 Oh, if that's all he wants, look-- 80 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,984 will he be happy if we rewrite these pages 81 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,944 so that Miss Blake gets her share of jokes? 82 00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:53,570 Yes, I'm sure he will. 83 00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,406 Why make a federal case out of it? 84 00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:57,241 We've got plenty of time to do it tomorrow. 85 00:03:57,387 --> 00:04:00,202 Yeah, and I've got a date tonight. 86 00:04:00,349 --> 00:04:02,454 ( WHISTLING ) 87 00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,456 You're gorgeous! Mwah! 88 00:04:05,938 --> 00:04:07,251 So long. 89 00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,169 He wants it tonight. ( WHISTLES ) 90 00:04:13,946 --> 00:04:16,010 Long so. 91 00:04:16,115 --> 00:04:18,137 Mwah! Gorgeous you're! 92 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:31,984 You'll have it tonight. 93 00:04:32,131 --> 00:04:33,319 When you get through typing, 94 00:04:33,465 --> 00:04:35,237 leave a copy on Alan's desk, 95 00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:39,199 and then leave a copy for Miss Blake at her hotel. 96 00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:41,535 Believe me, Rob, as the producer, I'm sorry. 97 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:45,497 We believe you, Curly. You're a sorry producer. 98 00:04:45,644 --> 00:04:47,041 Good night, Mel. 99 00:04:47,146 --> 00:04:48,542 Good night, Sally. Good night, Rob. 100 00:04:48,647 --> 00:04:50,502 Yechh. 101 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,052 There's something about that guy-- 102 00:04:58,157 --> 00:05:01,180 the way he brightens up a room when he leaves it. 103 00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:03,223 Oh, Buddy, Mel's not such a bad guy. 104 00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:04,600 Your opinion. 105 00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:06,935 But next to Rob, everyone's a meany. 106 00:05:07,082 --> 00:05:09,271 Let's face it-- We have the most wonderful, 107 00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:12,483 adorable doll for our boss. 108 00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:15,402 What is it, Sal? You got a date tonight? 109 00:05:15,507 --> 00:05:17,237 As a matter of fact, I have, 110 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,114 but I'm not gonna ask for any special privileges. 111 00:05:19,261 --> 00:05:20,324 She's hoping I'll do the asking. 112 00:05:20,471 --> 00:05:21,492 I'm praying you will. 113 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:22,993 Then I vote we let Sally 114 00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,453 go husband-hunting. 115 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,538 All in favor, say aye. ALL: Aye. 116 00:05:26,685 --> 00:05:29,041 All right, Sal, go get yourself a husband. 117 00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:30,918 Ooh, you doll! Mwah! 118 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,544 Uh-oh. What are you doing? 119 00:05:32,691 --> 00:05:34,213 Wiping off the lipstick. 120 00:05:34,359 --> 00:05:35,506 I hate to see a happy marriage break up 121 00:05:35,652 --> 00:05:37,174 just because of a harmless kiss. 122 00:05:37,321 --> 00:05:39,259 Well, fellas, I'll see you all 123 00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:40,594 bright and early in the morning. 124 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,513 That is, of course, unless I elope. 125 00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:44,306 Ha ha! 126 00:05:44,453 --> 00:05:47,017 Happy hunting! 127 00:05:47,164 --> 00:05:48,268 Well... 128 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,522 Shall we? 129 00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:54,066 Let's see how fast we can get this done. 130 00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:56,193 Maybe we can do a telephone joke. 131 00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:58,320 Ooh, telephone. wow. I'd better call the little woman. 132 00:05:58,467 --> 00:06:00,948 Ooh, yeah, I'll call Laura as soon as you're finished. 133 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,200 Better call my wife before she gets ready to burn the dinner. 134 00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:07,621 You heard of pot roast? She makes roast pot. 135 00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:13,419 Hello, pickles, honey? Yeah, it's me. 136 00:06:13,565 --> 00:06:15,713 Oh, boy, have I got a thrill for you. 137 00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,589 I'm not coming home for dinner. 138 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:21,468 Is it...tonight? 139 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,554 Oh, gosh, I forgot all about it. 140 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,181 Wait a second. Hey, Rob... 141 00:06:26,328 --> 00:06:28,434 My mother's coming for dinner tonight. 142 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:31,270 It's silly to ask, but can't your wife entertain your mother? 143 00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,188 Pickles entertain my mother?! 144 00:06:33,335 --> 00:06:35,649 Ooh, forget it. I have to be there. Why? 145 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,985 Who's gonna referee? 146 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,237 ( INDISTINCT ) 147 00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:43,365 Oh, good. hey, Rob just cleared the decks for me, honey. 148 00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:44,700 Yeah, won't change the plan. 149 00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:46,452 I'm coming right home. 150 00:06:46,598 --> 00:06:48,996 Get the kids off the street. I'm driving. 151 00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:52,333 ( INDISTINCT CHATTER ) 152 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,419 ( PHONE RINGS ) 153 00:06:55,566 --> 00:06:57,671 Hello? ROB: Hi, Laura? 154 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,716 Honey, guess who has to work late tonight? 155 00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:03,260 Is he a living American male? 156 00:07:03,407 --> 00:07:06,013 And I'll give you a hint. He has a beautiful, understanding wife 157 00:07:06,118 --> 00:07:08,098 who knows the problems of television writers. 158 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,683 Oh, Rob. Honey, I'm sorry, 159 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,685 but the boss wants a rewrite on a sketch. 160 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:14,146 Is, uh, this sketch For Miss Blake? 161 00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:16,148 Yeah, I've got to write it and deliver it 162 00:07:16,295 --> 00:07:18,067 and read it to her tonight. 163 00:07:18,213 --> 00:07:20,444 Can't she read? 164 00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:23,280 I have to read it with her and discuss it. 165 00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:26,116 Honey, will you make my apologies to Jerry and Millie? 166 00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:28,661 Maybe you can get Eddie Labose to sit in for a fourth. 167 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,373 I'll kiss you good night when I come in. 168 00:07:32,478 --> 00:07:34,750 Try and sleep face-up. 169 00:07:34,897 --> 00:07:37,169 I shouldn't be with Miss Blake more than a couple of hours. 170 00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:39,254 Okay, Rob. bye-bye. Bye. 171 00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:41,632 Oh, Rob! Will Buddy and Sally be with you? 172 00:07:41,779 --> 00:07:44,218 Rob? 173 00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:46,220 Well, I'm sure they will. 174 00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:04,196 ( DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES ) 175 00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:18,794 ( YAWNS ) 176 00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:23,590 Ohh, I can't keep my eyes open. 177 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,646 Rob? 178 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,481 Rob. 179 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,733 Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Did I wake you up? 180 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,818 You're not going to sleep with your clothes on, are you? 181 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,196 No, I'm gonna undress. 182 00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,657 I want to take a nap before I go to sleep. 183 00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,288 How'd the sketch go? 184 00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:38,499 ( GRUNTS ) 185 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,876 We have to rewrite it. 186 00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:43,504 Would that mean another evening session? 187 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,297 Could be. 188 00:09:45,444 --> 00:09:47,424 It's not funny. ( YAWNS ) 189 00:09:47,571 --> 00:09:49,718 Did Buddy and Sally think it's funny? 190 00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:53,347 I don't know. They weren't with me. 191 00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:55,391 You worked alone tonight? 192 00:09:55,537 --> 00:09:57,810 Mm-mm. Oh, who was with you? 193 00:09:57,956 --> 00:10:00,145 ( YAWNS ) Miss Blake. 194 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,318 Rob? 195 00:10:06,465 --> 00:10:08,821 Is she really as pretty as they say? 196 00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:12,408 Rob? 197 00:10:12,554 --> 00:10:14,451 Is she very pretty? 198 00:10:16,975 --> 00:10:19,164 ( WOLF WHISTLES ) 199 00:10:23,649 --> 00:10:26,297 Honey, what's the matter? What happened? 200 00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:29,216 I just wanted to slip this pillow under your head. 201 00:10:35,994 --> 00:10:38,892 Well, back to the fun factory. 202 00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:41,228 Well, Mr. Brady didn't think it was very funny. 203 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,771 It must've been my performance. 204 00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,940 Oh, no, Miss Blake. You were delightful. 205 00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:47,901 It was the sketch. I knew Alan wouldn't like it. 206 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,361 And when it comes to comedy, 207 00:10:49,508 --> 00:10:50,946 I have an unerring instinct. 208 00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:53,741 That's right, you've got the instinct of a herring. 209 00:10:55,848 --> 00:10:57,745 There's no sense in holding postmortems. 210 00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,538 We've got an awful lot of work to do. 211 00:10:59,685 --> 00:11:01,248 Let's get a whole new idea, huh? 212 00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:02,666 We're not gonna throw out 213 00:11:02,813 --> 00:11:04,668 all the work we did last night. 214 00:11:04,815 --> 00:11:07,546 This poor man worked with me till 3:00 this morning. 215 00:11:07,693 --> 00:11:11,342 Miss Blake, our audience doesn't care how sleepy we get. 216 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:15,596 We must give unstintingly of our strength and talent. 217 00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:17,598 Our work must come first. 218 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:20,017 We must never allow our personal pleasures 219 00:11:20,164 --> 00:11:22,019 to interfere with our work. 220 00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,937 Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife and I 221 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,981 have tickets for the theater tonight. 222 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,319 Good-bye, "we". 223 00:11:30,466 --> 00:11:33,364 I hope "we" gets tickets behind a post. 224 00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:36,325 I suppose we're gonna have to work again tonight. 225 00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,661 I'm afraid we have no choice. 226 00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:41,288 We'll try to get it up to the hotel about 8:00 227 00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,415 so we can run through it with you. 228 00:11:43,562 --> 00:11:45,584 Okay, I'll see you up at the hotel. 229 00:11:45,731 --> 00:11:47,363 Oh, by the way, I'll order dinner for everyone. 230 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,464 You know, Miss Blake, you're awfully nice. 231 00:11:50,569 --> 00:11:51,966 In fact, I don't even mind you being 232 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,301 a teensy-weensy bit prettier than I am. 233 00:11:54,406 --> 00:11:56,011 Well, if I am so nice, 234 00:11:56,158 --> 00:11:57,805 why don't you stop calling me Miss Blake 235 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,723 and start calling me Valerie? 236 00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:02,393 Hey, you'll let us call you by your given name. 237 00:12:02,539 --> 00:12:04,770 No. I'm gonna let you call me Valerie. 238 00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:06,730 My given name is Bertha. 239 00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:10,818 ( PHONE RINGS ) Hello? 240 00:12:10,923 --> 00:12:13,320 ROB: Hi, honey. Hi. 241 00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:15,531 Bad news. I've got to work late again tonight. 242 00:12:15,677 --> 00:12:17,658 Oh, no. I don't know how long I'll be. 243 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:20,452 Is it the same sketch? Yes, same sketch. 244 00:12:20,599 --> 00:12:22,913 Honey, I'll make it as early as I can. 245 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:26,458 Look, tell Ritchie I'll put the baseball cards under his pillow. 246 00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:28,627 You'll be rehearsing with Miss Blake again? 247 00:12:28,774 --> 00:12:30,629 Oops, there goes another bridge game. 248 00:12:30,776 --> 00:12:32,881 Stop that, Jerry. What did I say? 249 00:12:33,028 --> 00:12:35,676 Shall I wait up for you, darling? No. 250 00:12:35,781 --> 00:12:36,885 All right, call me later. 251 00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:38,470 Let me speak to him. 252 00:12:38,617 --> 00:12:40,806 Hold it, Jerry wants to talk to you. 253 00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:45,436 Hiya, Lefty. Working with Valerie Blake again, huh? Rrraowrrr! 254 00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:48,022 Stop that, Jerry. You're just awful. 255 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,108 Isn't he awful? You're just awful! 256 00:12:51,255 --> 00:12:54,570 He's only joshing you, Rob. You know how Jerry is. 257 00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:56,697 Don't worry about the bridge game. 258 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,532 You just write a nice show, 259 00:12:58,637 --> 00:13:00,367 and we'll see that Laura doesn't get lonely. 260 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,119 And you see that Valerie doesn't get lonely. 261 00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:03,829 Bye, Rob. 262 00:13:03,976 --> 00:13:05,998 See if she wants her teeth fixed! 263 00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:07,791 Jerry, you're just awful! 264 00:13:07,938 --> 00:13:10,044 Isn't he awful? You're just awful! 265 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:14,465 Laura, I hope you didn't take anything he said seriously. 266 00:13:14,611 --> 00:13:17,509 Rob is a doll, and you know it. 267 00:13:17,656 --> 00:13:20,638 I just hope Valerie Blake doesn't collect dolls. 268 00:13:24,788 --> 00:13:26,143 Come on, Ritchie. Eat your cereal. 269 00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:27,686 Let's not dawdle. 270 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,772 You'll be late for school again. 271 00:13:59,865 --> 00:14:01,053 What's the matter, Mommy? 272 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,888 Nothing. Eat your cereal. 273 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,475 Morning, honey. 274 00:14:06,622 --> 00:14:07,810 What do you mean by that?! 275 00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:10,020 It may be a good morning for you, 276 00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:12,147 but it wasn't for me. You didn't have to clean up the mess 277 00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:14,191 that this one made when he decided to finger-paint 278 00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:16,443 all over the bathroom mirror with the toothpaste! 279 00:14:16,548 --> 00:14:18,112 And you don't have to be concerned about the fact 280 00:14:18,217 --> 00:14:19,780 that the cleaning woman isn't coming today 281 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:21,073 and you have five people coming for lunch. 282 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:22,449 Sure, go ahead! 283 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:24,827 Good morning! Why not? 284 00:14:24,973 --> 00:14:27,788 Honey, give me another chance. 285 00:14:29,728 --> 00:14:31,125 I'll go out and come in again. 286 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,543 I won't say "good morning". 287 00:14:32,689 --> 00:14:35,045 I'll just wave as I go by. 288 00:14:35,192 --> 00:14:36,797 Okay, make with the jokes. 289 00:14:36,902 --> 00:14:38,799 Why didn't you call me last night? 290 00:14:38,904 --> 00:14:40,801 Why--I did call! 291 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,469 You did not. 292 00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:43,804 No, I spoke to you. 293 00:14:43,909 --> 00:14:45,597 I even spoke to Jerry and Millie. 294 00:14:45,744 --> 00:14:47,516 I meant later last night. 295 00:14:47,663 --> 00:14:48,976 I'm sorry, honey. 296 00:14:49,123 --> 00:14:50,644 We were so involved by that time, 297 00:14:50,791 --> 00:14:52,062 I thought I'd probably wake you up. 298 00:14:52,209 --> 00:14:53,647 Well, you didn't, because I waited up 299 00:14:53,794 --> 00:14:55,774 until very late for you to call. 300 00:14:55,921 --> 00:14:57,484 I couldn't know that. 301 00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,611 Why didn't you call me? 302 00:14:59,758 --> 00:15:02,656 Because I thought you might be in conference with Miss Blake. 303 00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:04,575 Come on, Laurie. 304 00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:06,827 Since when have I ever been too busy to talk to you? 305 00:15:06,932 --> 00:15:08,912 You've been very busy Blakely. 306 00:15:11,937 --> 00:15:14,668 Look, a comedy sketch doesn't write itself. 307 00:15:14,773 --> 00:15:17,087 You ought to know that. Yes, I know that! 308 00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:20,007 You don't have to use that tone of voice with me. 309 00:15:20,112 --> 00:15:21,800 Are you and Daddy fighting, Mommy? 310 00:15:21,947 --> 00:15:24,678 We're not fighting, we're having a discussion. 311 00:15:24,783 --> 00:15:26,764 Sounds like fighting. 312 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:29,016 Rich, get your coat on. You'll be late for school. 313 00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:30,809 Who's Miss Blake? 314 00:15:30,956 --> 00:15:32,853 She's a very big movie star. 315 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,189 Is she pretty? Ask your daddy. 316 00:15:35,294 --> 00:15:37,024 Is she pretty, Daddy? 317 00:15:37,129 --> 00:15:39,276 Yes, Rich, she's very pretty. 318 00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:41,695 Is she as pretty as Mommy? 319 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,074 That's enough. Will you be working late again tonight? 320 00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,034 Oh, boy, I wouldn't dare. 321 00:15:47,139 --> 00:15:49,203 Is she as pretty as you, Mommy? 322 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,705 Nobody's as pretty as your mommy, Ritchie. 323 00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,624 Thank you, Jerry. 324 00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:58,545 Hi, Lefty. How's the neighborhood gigolo? 325 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,091 What's the matter with Laurie? 326 00:16:02,237 --> 00:16:04,051 Nothing. Have you had your coffee? 327 00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:06,553 Are you kiddin'? Millie hasn't gotten up to fix me coffee 328 00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:07,805 since we're married. 329 00:16:07,951 --> 00:16:10,557 She's gotta get her 15 hours. 330 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,643 Well, Lefty boy... 331 00:16:12,790 --> 00:16:15,229 How about this, uh, Valerie Blake? 332 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,648 Is she, uh-- You know...ha ha! 333 00:16:17,795 --> 00:16:20,067 What nasty little thoughts are crawling around 334 00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:22,152 in that warped little mind of yours? 335 00:16:22,299 --> 00:16:24,154 What are you getting so mad about? 336 00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:26,281 I don't like the innuendo in your voice. 337 00:16:26,428 --> 00:16:29,076 Or in Laura's. Or in Rich's. Ritchie, too? 338 00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:31,078 Yeah, you heard him. He asked me 339 00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:33,580 if Miss Blake was prettier than Laura. Can you beat that? 340 00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:34,665 Well, is she? 341 00:16:34,812 --> 00:16:37,084 You're a dentist, right? 342 00:16:37,189 --> 00:16:38,961 Oh, come on. Don't change the subject. 343 00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:41,088 No, same subject. 344 00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:42,923 Did you ever have an emergency late at night? 345 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,758 Sure, why? 346 00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:47,678 An emergency that involved a beautiful girl patient? 347 00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:50,139 Yeah. You know that girl that does the T.V. commercials? 348 00:16:50,285 --> 00:16:52,808 Yeah. She broke a front tooth. I had to fix it. 349 00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:54,852 Came to your office after hours, huh? 350 00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:57,604 Yeah, yeah, so? What did you do? 351 00:16:57,709 --> 00:17:00,274 What do you mean? I fixed her tooth, that's what I did. 352 00:17:00,421 --> 00:17:03,152 Come on, was she as pretty as your wife Millie? 353 00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:05,112 Who cares, as long as she pays the bills? 354 00:17:05,217 --> 00:17:07,031 She's a patient, I'm a dentist. 355 00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:09,700 Exactly! And I'm a television writer, 356 00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,827 and Miss Blake is a guest star. 357 00:17:11,974 --> 00:17:13,370 Jerry, I had an emergency last night. 358 00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,331 I had to fix a sick script. 359 00:17:15,477 --> 00:17:18,667 You do an emergency job late at night, and you're a hero. 360 00:17:18,814 --> 00:17:20,711 I do an emergency job late at night, 361 00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:24,298 and I'm all of a sudden the phantom lover of new Rochelle. 362 00:17:24,403 --> 00:17:26,300 My son is leering at me and asking me 363 00:17:26,405 --> 00:17:28,844 if some strange woman is prettier than his own mother. 364 00:17:28,991 --> 00:17:32,389 Well, is she? Oh, there you go again! 365 00:17:32,536 --> 00:17:35,768 Jerry, I love my wife. 366 00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:38,812 I think Laura's the best-looking girl in the whole world. 367 00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:41,231 But, boy, you won't be happy till you hear me say 368 00:17:41,378 --> 00:17:43,651 that Valerie Blake is a ravishing beauty, 369 00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:46,987 and next to her, Laura looks like some kind of a fishmonger! 370 00:17:52,347 --> 00:17:55,621 Shall I tell our son that, or will you? 371 00:18:00,064 --> 00:18:02,670 Why don't you move to a new neighborhood? 372 00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:11,762 For heaven's sake, Rob, will you call up your wife, please? 373 00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:14,682 Oh, why call, Sal? She won't even talk to me. 374 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,141 Sure she'll talk to you. 375 00:18:16,288 --> 00:18:18,227 Make believe you're a friend. 376 00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,354 Invite her out to dinner or something. 377 00:18:20,459 --> 00:18:22,147 That's it. Call her up, invite her out, 378 00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:23,774 take her to dinner, to a movie. 379 00:18:23,921 --> 00:18:25,943 All she wants is a little attention. 380 00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:28,070 Maybe you're right, Sal. 381 00:18:32,513 --> 00:18:35,369 I can't understand why his wife would get so jealous 382 00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:37,121 just because he spent a couple of nights 383 00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:40,165 with a beautiful, gorgeous movie star. 384 00:18:40,312 --> 00:18:42,209 What can't you understand? 385 00:18:44,441 --> 00:18:46,213 Well, he's been working with me for the past five years, 386 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,215 and she never said anything. 387 00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:52,219 So what else is new? 388 00:18:54,451 --> 00:18:56,432 Will you play the cards, please? 389 00:18:58,288 --> 00:19:00,894 Laura, honey? 390 00:19:00,999 --> 00:19:03,897 Well, no. I just wanted to talk to you. 391 00:19:04,044 --> 00:19:05,899 No, she's not here. 392 00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:07,901 We're waiting on Miss Blake to arrive 393 00:19:08,006 --> 00:19:10,321 so we can take a look at the sketch at rehearsal. 394 00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:13,782 Honey, I think I'll be through early this evening. 395 00:19:13,929 --> 00:19:15,743 I thought maybe we could go out and... 396 00:19:15,848 --> 00:19:18,078 Kind of get reacquainted. 397 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,914 No, just the two of us. 398 00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:23,083 Well, how about a movie? 399 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,878 I'll buy you some popcorn. 400 00:19:26,024 --> 00:19:28,380 Yeah, with butter. 401 00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:31,091 Okay, honey. I'll be home about the regular time. 402 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,385 Get a sitter for Rich. 403 00:19:33,532 --> 00:19:35,929 Okay. Honey? 404 00:19:36,034 --> 00:19:38,015 Friends again? 405 00:19:38,162 --> 00:19:39,767 Bye, Laura. 406 00:19:41,206 --> 00:19:43,771 ( GIGGLING ) 407 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:46,273 You were right, Sally! 408 00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:48,025 When am I ever wrong? 409 00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:49,860 Now. I got gin. 410 00:19:52,217 --> 00:19:53,447 ( PHONE RINGING ) 411 00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:56,283 ( HUMMING ) 412 00:19:56,388 --> 00:19:57,534 Yeah? 413 00:19:57,681 --> 00:19:59,787 Hi, Mel. 414 00:19:59,892 --> 00:20:03,290 Oh, no. Oh, no! 415 00:20:03,395 --> 00:20:05,042 No, what? What? What, no? What? 416 00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:07,044 Mel, I'm sorry to hear that. 417 00:20:07,191 --> 00:20:10,005 You don't know how sorry I am to hear that. 418 00:20:10,152 --> 00:20:12,466 Yeah, I'll tell them. Bye, Mel. 419 00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,218 Don't bother telling us. 420 00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,220 We work tonight. 421 00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:17,972 Calling Laurie? 422 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,515 Oh, yes. 423 00:20:24,583 --> 00:20:28,440 Laura, honey? Sweetie? Baby? 424 00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:32,987 Hey, honey, the funniest thing just happened. 425 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:35,823 How'd you know? 426 00:20:35,928 --> 00:20:39,159 Well, no, just a minute. You hung up, Mel called, 427 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,246 and it seems that Miss Blake has to do some publicity shots 428 00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:44,206 on a picture she did last year, 429 00:20:44,353 --> 00:20:46,834 and she can't rehearse this afternoon. 430 00:20:46,939 --> 00:20:49,420 We have to rehearse this evening. 431 00:20:49,566 --> 00:20:53,257 Where? Well... Her hotel suite. 432 00:20:53,404 --> 00:20:55,884 The Park Regis. 433 00:20:56,031 --> 00:21:00,014 What? Oh, honey, that was Sally's lipstick. 434 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,850 I never thought he was the kiss-and-tell type. 435 00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:05,602 Laurie, will you listen to me for just a minute? 436 00:21:05,749 --> 00:21:08,230 Just because I'm rehearsing with Valerie this-- 437 00:21:08,377 --> 00:21:10,524 Valerie, yeah. 438 00:21:10,671 --> 00:21:13,902 Oh, come on, honey. What do you want me to call her--Irving? 439 00:21:14,049 --> 00:21:16,030 Laurie-- 440 00:21:21,432 --> 00:21:23,912 I'd have never believed it. What? 441 00:21:24,059 --> 00:21:25,914 That sweet, lovable, 442 00:21:26,061 --> 00:21:28,500 understanding girl I married. 443 00:21:28,647 --> 00:21:31,253 She's turned into a...wife. 444 00:21:34,486 --> 00:21:36,592 Sorry we have to work so late, gang. 445 00:21:36,739 --> 00:21:39,053 You feel up to it now, Valerie? 446 00:21:39,158 --> 00:21:41,889 Or would you rather wait until room service brings up the sandwiches? 447 00:21:41,994 --> 00:21:43,557 Oh, no, let's keep right on working. 448 00:21:43,704 --> 00:21:46,393 As it is, we'll be here until all hours of the nights. 449 00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:49,063 Oh, you boys better call your wives. 450 00:21:49,168 --> 00:21:51,106 Me, call Pickles at this time of night? 451 00:21:51,253 --> 00:21:53,150 She's have me assassinated. 452 00:21:53,297 --> 00:21:56,195 If she's sleeping, she don't care where I am. 453 00:21:56,341 --> 00:21:58,989 Well, I should call home, 454 00:21:59,136 --> 00:22:01,575 but after midnight, my cat won't answer the phone. 455 00:22:05,267 --> 00:22:07,581 Rob, why don't you call Laurie? 456 00:22:07,728 --> 00:22:10,668 I'm afraid to, Sal. Anyway, it can't be settled over the phone. 457 00:22:10,814 --> 00:22:12,962 Kids, can we get to work, please? 458 00:22:13,108 --> 00:22:14,630 Would you mind doing Alan's part? 459 00:22:14,777 --> 00:22:16,590 Sure, Mel. Where do we start from? 460 00:22:16,737 --> 00:22:19,134 Let's take it from "Under the apple tree in the garden". 461 00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:21,095 Valerie, you're over here. 462 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,305 Right where Alan dances over. 463 00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:25,224 Take the last 16 bars. 464 00:22:25,370 --> 00:22:26,892 Okay. 465 00:22:29,374 --> 00:22:31,271 Miss Blake, Alan will probably be 466 00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,148 about 20 feet from you on the stage, 467 00:22:33,295 --> 00:22:35,025 but he'll dance over to you. 468 00:22:35,172 --> 00:22:37,069 You ready, Rob? I'm ready, sal. 469 00:22:37,216 --> 00:22:38,946 ( PLAYING PIANO ) 470 00:22:39,051 --> 00:22:41,407 ~ And when you say good-bye to Broadway ~ 471 00:22:41,553 --> 00:22:44,618 ~ Say good-bye to Charlie Jones ~ 472 00:22:48,769 --> 00:22:50,499 Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause. 473 00:22:50,646 --> 00:22:52,084 And Alan says... 474 00:22:52,231 --> 00:22:53,460 ( KNOCK ON DOOR ) 475 00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:55,045 That must be room service. Come in. 476 00:22:55,192 --> 00:22:56,255 Take it again, will you? 477 00:22:56,402 --> 00:22:57,673 Sweetheart, this has been 478 00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:01,302 a wonderful evening. Let's do it again. 479 00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:03,637 Honey! 480 00:23:03,784 --> 00:23:07,599 ( PIANO PLAYING ) ~ Ta-da! 481 00:23:07,746 --> 00:23:10,060 Mrs. Petrie, what are you doing here? 482 00:23:10,207 --> 00:23:11,478 What are they doing here? 483 00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:13,522 We're working, honey. 484 00:23:13,669 --> 00:23:16,317 Oh, well, I was just in the neighborhood... 485 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:18,152 Because I went to a movie, 486 00:23:18,298 --> 00:23:20,988 so I just thought I'd stop by and say hello. 487 00:23:24,304 --> 00:23:26,285 Hello. 488 00:23:26,432 --> 00:23:28,746 Hi, honey. Honey, how was the movie? 489 00:23:28,892 --> 00:23:30,664 The movie? Oh, the movie! 490 00:23:30,769 --> 00:23:33,417 It was fine, fine, just fine. 491 00:23:33,564 --> 00:23:35,377 Must've been a fine movie. 492 00:23:35,524 --> 00:23:38,505 It was, it was fine. Fine. 493 00:23:38,610 --> 00:23:41,342 Honey, I'd like for you to meet Valerie Blake. 494 00:23:41,447 --> 00:23:42,718 Oh, hello, Laura. 495 00:23:42,865 --> 00:23:45,304 How do you do? I'd better be go-- 496 00:23:45,451 --> 00:23:47,598 How did you know my first name was Laura? 497 00:23:47,745 --> 00:23:50,684 Your husband's only mentioned it 30 or 40,000 times. 498 00:23:50,831 --> 00:23:52,561 He has? Of course. 499 00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:55,189 He's told me all about both you and Ritchie. 500 00:23:55,335 --> 00:23:57,691 Now, let me see-- He likes baseball cards, 501 00:23:57,838 --> 00:23:59,568 and he does not like to have his hair cut. 502 00:23:59,715 --> 00:24:01,362 He loves to hide in closets, 503 00:24:01,467 --> 00:24:02,780 and he's not the brightest boy in class. 504 00:24:02,926 --> 00:24:06,617 Well, let's face it, honey, he isn't. 505 00:24:06,764 --> 00:24:10,621 He may not be the brightest boy, but he's the cutest. 506 00:24:10,768 --> 00:24:14,541 Honey, uh, if you want to wait around a while, I can drive you home. 507 00:24:14,646 --> 00:24:17,044 Oh, no, I just came by because... 508 00:24:17,149 --> 00:24:19,213 There was something I forgot to tell you. 509 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,507 What'd you forget, honey? It can wait. 510 00:24:21,653 --> 00:24:24,093 No. You came all the way down here. What'd you forget to do? 511 00:24:24,239 --> 00:24:27,721 I forgot to kiss you good morning. 512 00:24:27,826 --> 00:24:29,223 Good morning, darling! 513 00:24:36,502 --> 00:24:39,274 ( GIGGLING ) 514 00:24:41,799 --> 00:24:44,071 ~~ 37637

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