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~~
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~ I dream of a Morris
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~ With a light blue rose ~
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Who is Morris?
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Oh, just a fella with a Rolls-Royce
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who's gonna drive up and take me away from all of this.
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You never mentioned him before.
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I invented him.
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He's kind of like a male tinker bell.
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( SNORING )
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How long has sleeping beauty been at it?
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Since you went into conference with the boss.
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Hey, did Alan like this week's script?
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Yeah, all except for the monologue
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on the women's new bathing suits.
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He wants more jokes in it.
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Oh. Well, uh, shall we wake up
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our human joke machine?
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Why, no. Let's let him sleep.
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We don't need him for this. We can write better jokes without him.
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Yeah, it's sort of nice not to hear him
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making those corny punch lines.
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Yeah. Hey, Sal, how about this one?
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This woman comes home with one of those brand-new bikini bathing suits,
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and she shows it to her husband. she says, "Honey, I bought this for you."
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And he looks at it and says--
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"Nice material, but I can't wear those narrow neckties."
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Get up off that sofa.
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You know I come up with funnier stuff when I'm laying down.
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That's true, Rob. While you were gone,
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he came up with some of the funniest snoring you ever heard.
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( TELEPHONE RINGS ) Will you get that?
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I got a head full of pins.
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Better than marbles.
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Yeah, Marge.
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Who?
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I don't know anybody by that name.
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Are you sure he asked for me?
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Hey, maybe it's for me. Is it a man?
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Yeah. Harrison B. Harding. Do you know him?
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No, but if he's single, I'll marry him.
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Marge, are you sure he asked for me?
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I don't know anybody by that name.
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Did he say what he wanted?
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Camp Crowder, Missouri.
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Yeah, I was stationed there.
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Harrison B. Harding. What did he look like?
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He's tall.
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Good enough. Send him in.
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Tall and blond.
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I don't care if he's short and bald.
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Come on. Look, Marge, send him on in.
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Maybe I'll recognize him when I see him.
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Yeah.
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Look, if I give you the signal
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I want to get rid of this bird,
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will you please remind me how much work we've got to do?
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Tactfully. You know me.
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Just give me two seconds to make myself gorgeous.
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( KNOCK ON DOOR ) Your time's up.
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I'm gorgeous.
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Tactfully.
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Uh, Harrison B. Harding?
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I didn't think you'd remember me, Sarge.
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Okay, Rob, we got a lot of work to do!
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Am I interrupting something?
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Oh, no, not really.
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Rob, you look just wonderful.
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Well, you look great, too. Thank you.
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Come on in. Thanks.
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Well, it's been a long time, hasn't it?
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Yes, it certainly has.
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Robert Petrie! Hmm, hmm, hmm.
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Harrison B. Harding.
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Heh heh heh.
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You haven't changed one bit
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since Camp Crowder, Rob.
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Well, you look exactly the same.
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I do? I lost 57 pounds.
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Oh, I noticed that. It was obvious there.
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But I mean--Ha ha ha! Put that weight back on,
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and you're the same old Harrison, glasses and all.
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I didn't wear glasses in the army.
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Well, I meant that-- You take off the glasses
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and put on the weight, you're the same guy.
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Oh, uh, Harrison,
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I'd like for you to meet my writing staff.
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This is Sally Rogers and Buddy Sorrell.
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Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Missouri.
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So you and Rob were in the same outfit together, huh?
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Yes, we were-- No, weren't in the same outfit.
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We weren't in the same outfit exactly, no.
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We were in the same camp. Yeah.
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Same country, same good old U.S.A. In the army.
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Ha ha! That's funny.
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Well, I hate to break up an old army reunion,
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but we have a lot of work to do on this week's script.
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Right, gotta get back to the old grindstone, Sarge.
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Well, I hope I'm not interrupting your work.
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I did look forward to us having a little chat together,
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but, well, at least we got to say hello.
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Say hello to Laura for me, too, will you?
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My wife? You know Laura?
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Indeed I do. You don't forget a girl like Laura, do you?
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No, I didn't. You don't.
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Well, doggone it-- Ha ha!
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I'm sorry we couldn't spend a little more time together.
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But you know how television is--
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almost as rough as the army.
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Maybe we can get together some other time and reminisce.
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Well, I'm in New York on business,
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and I'm taking the 6:00 flight back to Cleveland.
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Oh, that's a shame. Well, maybe some other time.
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Well, I don't know when I'll be back again.
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I tell you, it's a shame we couldn't spend
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a little more time together, Harrison. Maybe we--
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Do you really mean that, rob?
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Sure, I mean it. But what can we do?
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What can we do? Nothing.
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Well, hold on a minute, Sarge.
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Maybe I can do something.
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What time do you get through here?
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Uh, what time did you say your plane was? 6:00.
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7:00, we usually work to.
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Oh, yeah, at least till 7:00.
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Sometimes 7:05.
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I tell you what I'll do.
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I'll cancel my flight tonight
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and go back tomorrow morning.
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Don't do that. Why not?
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It's too much to ask.
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It's the least I can do
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for an old Buddy,
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and I want you and Laura
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to be my guests for dinner tonight.
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That's awfully nice--
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I'll see you at 7:00, old pal.
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Oh, and by the by,
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you'll get to see Evelyn, my wife.
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Evelyn? You'll never recognize her.
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Yeah, it's possible.
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Evelyn and I went on a diet together.
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You mean Evelyn lost 50 pounds, too?
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Nope. Gained ten.
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Weighs an even 100 now.
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You mean that Evelyn weighed 90 pounds?
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You remembered! Nice work, Rob.
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You have an amazing memory.
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I can't wait to get together
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and cut up old touches with you, Buddy.
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I'll see you at 7:00. Ha ha!
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You dog, you!
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Oh, you dog, you!
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Woof, woof!
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Hey, Rob, you really didn't know him, did you?
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I never saw that guy before in my life.
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He knows you all right. He even knows your wife's name.
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He did, didn't he?
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You're not gonna wait around for that nut, are you?
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I might know the guy.
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You meet so many guys in the army.
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Hey, maybe he was one of the enemy.
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Well, we had a lot of nice ones.
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I guess I'd better call up Laura
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and tell her about my long-lost old army buddy.
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Boy, some army buddy.
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He looks like a cross between Dutch Schultz
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and Count Dracula.
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What do you think he was clutching in that paper bag?
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A dead bat.
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Hey, Laurie, honey?
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You'll never guess who came in to visit me this afternoon.
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Are you ready? Harrison B. Harding.
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Who is Harrison B. Harding?
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I don't know. But he claims to be an old army buddy of mine,
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and he wants to take us to dinner.
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Oh, Rob, I've got a rib roast in the oven,
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and it's not one I got on special.
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I don't want to stay in town tonight, but this joker and his wife
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are canceling their plane reservations.
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I've got to spend some time with them.
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Oh, dear. and I held up feeding Rich
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so we could all eat this beautiful roast together.
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Honey, isn't there something you can do
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without hurting their feelings?
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Well, I--
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I could bring the hardings home to dinner with me.
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Laurie? Hello?
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Honey, how come you're not shouting?
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Because I'd rather have you and your buddies
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than no you at all.
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You're really nuts about me, aren't you?
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Not really, but Ritchie likes you,
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and I hate to waste food.
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Here we are, folks. Come right on in.
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Thank you, Rob.
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Isn't this a lovely place?
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Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
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Honey, we're here.
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Hi there.
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I'm so glad you could come.
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Mr. and Mrs. Harrison B. Harding,
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my wife. How do you do?
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How do you do?
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Laura, how are you?
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Fine, thank you.
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A little surprised I remembered your name, aren't you?
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Well, yes.
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Oh, Harrison has a fine memory.
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I'd say he had a fantastic memory.
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Why don't we all sit down?
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Thank you.
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Harrison, here, let me take that or you--
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oh, no, it'll be fine right over here.
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Well, now, this is awfully nice of you two.
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We certainly didn't expect to be invited for dinner.
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Did we, dear? No, we didn't.
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I hope we aren't inconveniencing you, Laura.
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Oh, no, not at all. After all,
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Harrison and Rob are old army buddies.
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Yes. Uh, Harrison,
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do you remember the first time we met?
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Indeed I do. Do you?
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Oh! Ha ha ha! Do I!
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See, Evelyn? You don't forget the people you work with.
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Well, dinner should be ready in just a moment.
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Is there anything I can help you with in the kitchen?
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No, darling.
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Oh. Yes.
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Yes, there's a jar you could open for me.
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Oh, honey, I'd be glad to.
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Will you two excuse us? My wife has this jar.
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You can gossip about us while we're gone.
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Oh, you dog! Ha ha ha!
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Help yourself to some hors d'oeuvres.
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Thank you.
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Honey...
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I'm uncomfortable with those people in this house.
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Let's feed them a fast dinner, and bye-bye.
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You might as well just make the best of it and be pleasant.
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Aren't I always pleasant to total strangers
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who come to my house for dinner?
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I've got a good memory for faces, if I haven't for names,
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and I'm telling you, I never saw this guy before.
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How about the name? Harrison Harding.
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Does that bring back anything?
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Sure, Harrison and Harding-- Two former presidents.
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That's what it brings back.
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I'm telling you, I don't know this guy.
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Here, let me try that.
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He knew my name. How do you explain that?
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I don't know. Maybe his wife's a witch.
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Here.
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Oh, after I got it all loosened up for you.
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Oh, very funny. I'm bruised, and you're joking.
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I'm not gonna rip a muscle to open these.
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Give 'em celery. I don't even know 'em.
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Will you get the salad out, please?
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That's right. He knew your name.
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Laura...
261
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,280
Did it ever occur to you that we might be playing host
262
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,360
to a very clever con man?
263
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,760
A con man? Yeah, a confidence man.
264
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,080
They've got all kinds of clever ways to find out about people.
265
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,200
Rob, you have a suspicious nature.
266
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,200
I've never seen it before.
267
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,040
I've never had con men force their way
268
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,600
into my house before, either.
269
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,160
You're really serious, aren't you?
270
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,360
You bet I'm serious.
271
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,280
Well, I think you're wrong,
272
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,280
but let's assume for a minute they are what you say.
273
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,560
What are they after?
274
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,760
I don't know. Money, jewelry.
275
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,800
Well, let's give them the benefit of the doubt
276
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,080
and assume they're not con men or thieves.
277
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,240
Would you put that on the table?
278
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,400
What's the matter? Ritchie's in there with them.
279
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,080
Go out and introduce them.
280
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,800
No, we may find out something about 'em.
281
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,880
Rob, you're not going to eavesdrop.
282
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,080
No. I'm gonna listen.
283
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,240
I think you're terrible.
284
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,640
Some of the nicest people in the world are listeners.
285
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,840
You're quite a big boy for 5 1/5.
286
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,080
No, I'm short for my age.
287
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,160
In my class, I'm the first in line.
288
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,520
Ha ha! Do you like school, Sonny?
289
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,080
I like recess.
290
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,240
Just like your old man, you dog.
291
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,400
There's nothing very suspect about that conversation.
292
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,560
Rob, I feel terrible doing this.
293
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,080
So do I.
294
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,600
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
295
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,400
Not yet, but someday I will.
296
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,440
Daddy promised.
297
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,520
I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
298
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,280
Rich, I want to ask you a question.
299
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,240
Do your daddy own a wristwatch?
300
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,280
Yes. Where does he keep it?
301
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,280
On his wrist. Heh heh!
302
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,280
I noticed he wasn't wearing it.
303
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,320
When he's not wearing it, where does he keep it?
304
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,320
Sometimes it's on the bathroom shelf,
305
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,440
and sometimes it's in his jewelry box.
306
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,240
Where is this box?
307
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,720
Come on, I'll show you.
308
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,840
Daddy has cufflinks and tie clips also.
309
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,440
You can come, too. Okay.
310
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,400
Still want to give them the benefit of the doubt?
311
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,240
They're thieves.
312
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,280
Operator, get me the police. What are you doing?
313
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,360
What any citizen would do.
314
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,960
Hello, police headquarters?
315
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:24,360
Can you tell me where your prowl cars are?
316
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,640
No, I mean, do you have any up in the north end?
317
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:33,440
Why? Well, I'd like to report a possible robbery.
318
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,480
Maybe later this evening.
319
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,400
No, it is not definite.
320
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,920
No, sir, this is not a gag.
321
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,240
Rob, you're being ridiculous.
322
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,240
Captain, I can't talk now. My wife's bothering--
323
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,640
I mean, I'll call you back later, Captain.
324
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,360
Honey, I know that I may be absolutely wrong about this,
325
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,360
but it doesn't hurt to keep the police alerted.
326
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:55,840
What are you gonna do now?
327
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,320
I'm gonna continue eavesdropping.
328
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,960
Rob, I've never seen you like this.
329
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,440
I've never seen myself this way before, either.
330
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,800
You know something? I'm glad we both got the chance
331
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,600
to see me this way.
332
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,600
What are you talking about?
333
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,480
I've always wondered how I'd react
334
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,360
in a situation like this.
335
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,640
Now I know. By gosh, I'm scared,
336
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,280
but I think I can take care of it.
337
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,360
Until this minute, I was doing fine,
338
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,840
but now I'm frightened.
339
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,400
Do you really think that they--
340
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,840
I don't know, but don't worry.
341
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,640
I can handle it.
342
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,280
By gosh, those 20 pushups a day
343
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,200
weren't a waste of time after all.
344
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,440
Hello.
345
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,440
Rob, what is that?
346
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,640
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
347
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,720
Honey, keep a lookout.
348
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,280
Rob, this could prove to be very embarrassing.
349
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,400
I know, but I'll take my chances.
350
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,920
( GASPS ) Rob, they look like real diamonds.
351
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,480
Aha. Oh, Rob!
352
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,880
Laura, pull yourself together.
353
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,760
Operator, give me the police.
354
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,560
Rob, I'm getting frightened.
355
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,480
There's nothing to be frightened about.
356
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,080
Hello, police headquarters?
357
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,920
This is the fella that called a while ago
358
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,880
about a possible robbery.
359
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,320
No, I don't know yet, but it looks to me
360
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,360
like something may happen very soon.
361
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,320
Well, I'd rather not tell you who this is
362
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,280
till I have a little more to go on.
363
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,760
Just keep a prowl car cruising through the north end.
364
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,400
I'll call you back, captain.
365
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,400
Ten-four, or whatever it is.
366
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,360
Rob, do you really think they're jewel thieves?
367
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,600
I didn't say that. That's what you're thinking, isn't it?
368
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,520
Laura, don't jump to conclusions.
369
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,760
Don't jump? You're the one that made me jump.
370
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,920
I was perfectly happy thinking it was an old army buddy.
371
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,440
Oh, Rob!
372
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,080
Laura, drink that tomato juice.
373
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,800
Why? Drink the tomato juice!
374
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,320
Drink!
375
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,080
Give me the glass.
376
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,840
It amplifies the sound.
377
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,640
No, it doesn't.
378
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,440
Give me a napkin, quick.
379
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,600
What for?
380
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,480
Tomato juice in my ear.
381
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,000
Now, let's see what we have here.
382
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,880
Hmm. Look, Evie. Baroque pearls.
383
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,880
Are they ba-roke? Yes, they are.
384
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,920
I didn't ba-reak them.
385
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,560
No, Mr. Harding said "baroque".
386
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,520
That's a certain kind of pearl.
387
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,760
I'd like to get my hands on a bag full of these.
388
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,520
What'd he say?
389
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,720
Your daddy's watch wasn't in this box
390
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,520
and it wasn't in the bathroom.
391
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,560
Have you any ideas where else it could be?
392
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,920
RITCHIE: I don't know.
393
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,840
Does your mommy have a jewelry box?
394
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,920
Yes, she keeps her rings and watch in it.
395
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,160
Want to see it? We'd love to.
396
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,160
That does it. What happened?
397
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,200
I'm calling the police. The police? Is Ritchie all right?
398
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,040
Don't go in there. Ritchie will be all right
399
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,600
as long as we don't get panicky.
400
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,440
What'd they say?
401
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,560
He asked to see your watch and rings.
402
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,560
( GASPS )
403
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,040
Operator, give me the police.
404
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,440
Yes, again.
405
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,880
Hello, Captain? This is Robert Petrie,
406
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,720
the man who called a while ago about a possible robbery.
407
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,480
Well, this is it.
408
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,000
Get a prowl car down to 148 Bonnie Meadow Road right away.
409
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,720
Check.
410
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,400
Glass.
411
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,640
There we are. But you shouldn't take things
412
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,480
that don't belong to you.
413
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,160
Well, let's just say I'm borrowing it,
414
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,760
and it'll be our little secret,
415
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,240
and we won't tell Daddy, okay?
416
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,920
RITCHIE: Okay.
417
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,840
Put this stuff away, Rich. Come on, Evelyn.
418
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,600
We'd better join the host and hostess.
419
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,480
Sit down.
420
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,960
What-- Sit down!
421
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,480
Sit down.
422
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,240
Well, folks, there you are.
423
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,160
We thought you'd run out on us for a minute.
424
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,040
I see you've met our little boy.
425
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,560
Yes, indeed. He gave us a guided tour of the house.
426
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,480
I showed them your bedroom and--
427
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,800
And a good guide he is, too!
428
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,560
Yes, he's a very good guide.
429
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,280
Rich, I think you'd better get to bed.
430
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,760
I want to stay up and hear how Mr. Harding and Daddy
431
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,720
were in the army.
432
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,960
Oh, well, I don't think I could tell you anything
433
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,920
that your daddy hasn't told you already.
434
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,240
Oh, there might be. You know how kids are.
435
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,760
They like to hear the same old story over and over again.
436
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,800
Yeah, we love to hear them over and over again.
437
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,640
Sit down, Harrison. Thank you, Rob.
438
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,160
Harrison, why don't you tell Ritchie
439
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,280
about the first time you and I met?
440
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,800
Oh, I don't think there's anything interesting about that.
441
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,000
Oh, no, I think Ritchie would love to know about it.
442
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,720
Well, let's see. The first time I saw your daddy,
443
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,720
I had a wonderful time.
444
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,560
But I don't think your daddy would remember it.
445
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,600
Why wouldn't he remember it?
446
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,880
He was up on the stage of a big recreation hall,
447
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,960
entertaining a lot of soldiers,
448
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,840
and I was way up in the balcony,
449
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,720
shining a spotlight down on him.
450
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,720
RITCHIE: Why were you shining the light?
451
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,920
So the soldiers could see your daddy better.
452
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,640
I used to work the spotlight at all the shows.
453
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,640
That's it!
454
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,600
Harrison used to work the spotlight at the rec hall!
455
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,840
He could see me very well, but I couldn't see him
456
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,960
because of that spotlight in my eyes. Right.
457
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,600
Except when the show was over.
458
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,000
You'd turn off the light and wave at me.
459
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,720
Ha! Rob, you have an amazing memory.
460
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,600
Thank you.
461
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,800
You know something?
462
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,080
I even know the nickname the guys gave you.
463
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,680
I'll bet you don't.
464
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,160
Harry the horse.
465
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,840
Oh, you dog! Harry the horse.
466
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,600
Why did they call you that?
467
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,920
Because he had a face-- As big as a horse.
468
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,800
I lost 57 pounds since then.
469
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,520
All from his face.
470
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,880
Don't tease me, Evelyn.
471
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,920
I am surprised you folks remembered me, though.
472
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,920
Most people don't, you know.
473
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,200
But I sure remember you and Laura.
474
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,240
I was there the night you two danced together
475
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,720
for the first time on the stage. You were?
476
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,720
I even remember the tune they were playing.
477
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,200
You wonderful you.
478
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,080
You dog, you!
479
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,720
Now, I got a little test for you.
480
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,880
Do you remember this? Hey, that's my watch.
481
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,880
Isn't that the one the fellas in your recreation hall gave you?
482
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,280
Yeah, what are you doing with it?
483
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,240
I borrowed it from your jewelry box.
484
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,200
Yeah? What for? Well, I am a jeweler, you know.
485
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,240
You are? Yep.
486
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,800
I'm the fella that engraved this watch,
487
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,240
and it's been bothering me all these years.
488
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,040
You left the "e" off "Petrie".
489
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,800
Bothered you, too, huh?
490
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,000
We'll fix you right up now.
491
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,080
There. How's that?
492
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,840
That's an "f".
493
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,280
So it is.
494
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,920
There. Now I feel better.
495
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,400
What does the watch say?
496
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,280
It says, "To Robert Petrie.
497
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,800
"thanks for all the laughs.
498
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,080
From Company A." There you go, Rob.
499
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,840
( DOORBELL RINGS )
500
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,440
Isn't that wonderful?
501
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,040
Isn't that funny? After all these years...
502
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,760
I haven't worn that in 15 years.
503
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,040
Police!
504
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,640
LAURA: Oh--oh--
505
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,360
We don't need any.
506
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,480
Isn't this the house that's expecting a robbery?
507
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,080
I don't know. I mean, I wasn't.
508
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,440
But I'll check with my husband, though.
509
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,920
Rob, could you come here for a minute?
510
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,040
Excuse me. Heh heh. It looks like the police are here.
511
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,320
Good evening, Officer.
512
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,320
Darling, are you expecting a robbery?
513
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,040
Well, uh--
514
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,920
Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact,
515
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,040
I am, Officer. Come in.
516
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,760
Rob, what are you gonna do?
517
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,680
What any good citizen would do.
518
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:15,160
Officer, this man is Harrison B. Harding
519
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,920
from Cleveland, Ohio.
520
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,040
In that plain, simple bag--
521
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,720
which he brought with him from Ohio--
522
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,360
he is carrying thousands of dollars
523
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,920
worth of precious jewels.
524
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,800
There is every possibility
525
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,440
that this man, uh...
526
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,480
Might get robbed. Yeah.
527
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,800
And some crazy crook might come in here
528
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,920
and hit him over the head, take those jewels and run.
529
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,760
And, of course, I would be very embarrassed.
530
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,240
So?
531
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:53,400
So I thought, since you're an officer,
532
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,720
and since you'd be cruising the neighborhood anyway,
533
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,480
you could keep your eye out for...
534
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,040
Any crazy crooks that would come in here
535
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,800
and hit him on the head and take those jewels and run.
536
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,160
When we cruise the neighborhood,
537
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,200
we usually look for crazy crooks.
538
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,960
I've heard that.
539
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,840
And, Officer, I want to tell you
540
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,440
how much we appreciate the fine work
541
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,560
you guys are doing down there.
542
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,280
And I'll tell you, if I ever see anything snoopy
543
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,920
going on in this neighborhood,
544
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,520
I'll call headquarters right away.
545
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,000
I'm sure you will.
546
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,400
And I'll ask for you, officer...27809.
547
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,400
That's very nice. I'd appreciate it.
548
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,200
Well, I guess that about wraps this one up,
549
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,080
huh, Officer?
550
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,280
I want to thank you very much for coming.
551
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:47,840
And, uh...good night.
552
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,080
Ten-four.
553
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,080
Sheesh!
554
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,520
( GIGGLES )
555
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,480
You know, Rob, there's only one thing that puzzles me.
556
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,440
How did you know I was carrying precious stones?
557
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,440
Simple deduction, Harrison.
558
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,920
When a jeweler transports
559
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,480
some kind of a brown paper sack,
560
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,520
it's natural to assume
561
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,960
that inside he's carrying jewels--
562
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,960
a brown paper sack being the one thing
563
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,840
a potential thief wouldn't think
564
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,840
contained anything valuable.
565
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,920
You do have diamonds in that sack, don't you?
566
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,600
Yes, but how did you know?
567
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,360
Elementary.
568
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,360
I opened the bag and looked.
569
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,560
Ha ha! You old dog!
570
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,960
~~41745
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