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[MUSIC - THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
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PRESENTER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthew, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Are you awake, Daddy?
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Richie, Daddy is asleep.
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Could you read me this, Daddy?
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Richie, please.
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It's Daddy's day off.
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Now I'm sleeping.
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Richie, what are you doing in here?
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You know you're not supposed to bother Daddy when he's asleep.
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What are you doing with that tray?
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Trying to read it.
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Here, Mommy, read it.
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ROB: Laura.
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[clang]
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That does it, I might just as well get up.
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No, don't.
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Go back to sleep, darling, your eyelids are still closed.
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I know, but I'm awake under there.
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Doggone it, honey couldn't you read him the tray?
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I wanted to sleep at least 9 o'clock.
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What time is it?
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11:30.
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Give me the tray.
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Oh, boy.
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Oh.
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It says, to Sergeant Petrie, good luck and happiness
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on your marriage.
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Where'd you find this, Rich?
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In the basement.
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There's more, darling.
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I know there's more.
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To Laura.
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In case he backs out again, you can marry us.
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Company E. 35th, Battalion, Camp Crowder, Missouri.
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Did you try and back out of marrying Mommy, Daddy?
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Oh, not really, Rich.
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I just had a little trouble getting
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to the chapel, that's all.
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Why?
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Well, it's a long, long story, Rich.
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I'll tell you some other time.
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Tell it to me now, Daddy.
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There's nothing good on television yet.
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Richie, Daddy hasn't even had a cup of coffee yet.
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I tell you what, darling, I'll make the coffee,
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and you tell Rich the story.
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Breakfast in bed?
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OK.
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You've got a deal.
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[clang]
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Sorry, darling.
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And listen, don't tell a word of that story till I get back.
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I want to hear your version.
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OK.
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Is it hard to ask someone to marry you?
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Well, it is for some people.
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RICHIE: But not for you, Daddy.
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ANNOUNCER: No.
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RICHIE: Because you were a soldier.
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ROB: It wasn't hard for me.
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I just came right out and asked your mama.
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You cold?
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No, I'm fine.
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You sure?
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Why'd you stop?
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Stop what?
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Well, the Jeep? - Yes.
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Why?
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I thought-- I was going to--
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I was going to give you my-- my--
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Shirt?
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I don't have a jacket on.
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LAURA: Shouldn't we be getting back?
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Well, yeah.
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Sure, but I thought, as long as we were stopped here,
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we might just sit here a while, and--
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and--
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Shiver?
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Yeah.
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No.
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Rob, are you all right?
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Well, yeah.
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I'm fine.
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It's just it's awful cold out tonight.
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Cold?
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It must be 80 degrees.
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It is?
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Rob, we better drive right back.
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I think you caught a cold.
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You're shivering.
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Well, it's a family trait.
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All the male members of my family
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shiver when they're about to propose marriage.
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Is that what you're about to do?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I guess so.
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Laura, will you marry me?
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You want me to marry you?
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Yeah, very much.
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Oh.
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You're shivering.
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Well, all the female members of my family
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react this way when they accept marriage proposals.
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Yeah?
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Yeah.
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Well, I guess we ought to--
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Wow is right.
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Rob?
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Huh?
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When do you want to?
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Want to what?
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Get married.
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Oh.
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Well, I haven't-- I haven't thought about it.
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You hadn't?
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Well, no.
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I thought you say no.
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How about-- about-- how about-- how about--
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how about Sunday?
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S-s-sunday?
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Sunday would be fine.
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Sunday.
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S-sunday.
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Just think, next Sunday I'll be Mrs. Robert Petrie.
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Yeah, Sunday.
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You scared?
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No.
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So am I.
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Now, son, there's no reason to be
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afraid when you know what you want, and you go out after it.
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Did you and Mommy get married the next Sunday?
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No, we didn't.
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You backed out?
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No, I didn't.
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Mommy backed out?
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No, I didn't, dear.
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That's Sunday I was at the chapel.
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All our friends from the USO show
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were there, Daddy's buddies, and everyone was there but Daddy.
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Where was Daddy?
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LAURA: Well, that's what everyone kept asking.
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Where is he?
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10 minutes of freedom left.
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Do I love her?
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Yeah, I love her.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but is that any reason to get married?
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I love Ingrid Bergman, I'm not marrying her.
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She forced me into it.
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She backed me in a corner, that's what she did.
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And she was pretty obvious about it, too.
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Yeah, walking around with that sensational figure,
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those great legs.
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Yeah.
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Wearing wild perfume.
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Smiling pleasantly, being very nice.
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Telling me what a great guy I am.
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How much talent I've got.
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How much fun I am to be with.
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Yeah.
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And every time I ask her for a date, what did she say?
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Yes!
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Boy, if that's not being obvious.
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I think I'd better admit it, I'm hooked.
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That's right.
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I love her.
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And I'm glad.
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I'm going to go through with it.
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Holy smokes, I'm late!
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Oh, no.
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Oh, she's gonna kill me.
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I should have been there 10 minutes ago.
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[jeep sputters]
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Come on, baby, there's a chapel full of people waiting for me.
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Come on.
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Come on, sweetheart.
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Give it a little choke.
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[jeep sputters]
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Don't do this to me.
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Oh, she's going to kill me.
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I had to drive out here on my wedding day, huh?
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Take a look under here and see what the trouble is.
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Uh-huh.
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There it is.
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A motor.
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The trouble is I don't know anything about it.
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Oil.
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Sounds all right.
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Loose wire!
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All I have to do is find a terminal.
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That's what caused it.
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Maybe.
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I bet that did it.
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Boy, that better have did it.
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[inaudible] further.
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Come on, sweetheart.
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[car sputters]
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Yeah, that did it.
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Oh, no.
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But she'll kill me.
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Oh, she'll never believe me.
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Why'd I have to do this on my wedding day, of all days?
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I might as well give up, there's no chance
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of getting back there now.
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They're all standing there in the chapel waiting.
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I didn't check--
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I didn't check the radiator before I left the motor pool.
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I bet it's dry.
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Oh, please, make it be dry.
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Come on, baby, be dry.
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Hey!
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[water splashing]
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Why did I do that?
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Oh, there's nothing to do now.
220
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I'll never get there.
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I'll just have to run.
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If I run I can make it in an hour.
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I'll take a short cut across the artillery range.
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Uh-oh.
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My ankle's broken.
226
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I know it.
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Oh, boy, oh, boy, does that hurt!
228
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Don't pamper it, don't pamper it.
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Put your weight on it, that's right.
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Think positively.
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Oh, that hurts.
232
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It's gonna be fine.
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Just don't think about it.
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Don't baby it, that's it.
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I think I can make it.
236
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I'll just have to hop.
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If I can run it in an hour, I can hop it in two hours.
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I'm here!
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And they're not.
240
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Where is everybody?
241
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Aw, look at the pretty flowers.
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Aw.
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And there's her little nosegay.
244
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Oh.
245
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She-- she must have stood right here
246
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and waited for me for two hours.
247
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I don't blame her.
248
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I'm gonna to go to her, I'll explain to her,
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and she'll understand.
250
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I want to-- I want to lie down before I faint.
251
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Ah!
252
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Oh, Rob.
253
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Laura?
254
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Laura, it's me!
255
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- Let go! - It's me, Rob.
256
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I don't ever want to see you again.
257
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Now wait a minute, honey, I know you're a little upset
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today, and I don't blame you.
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I'm not upset, and let go of my hand.
260
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No, honey, not until you promise
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to stay here and listen to me.
262
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Now, please.
263
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All right, I promise.
264
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Now let go.
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OK.
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Honey, you promised you'd stay and listen to me.
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And you promised you'd marry me!
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Where were you?
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That's what I want to explain.
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I've never been so humiliated in my whole life.
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Everybody was here.
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Your friends, your buddies, and the organist kept playing,
273
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and you didn't come, and even my Aunt Mildred was here.
274
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She came all the way from Ohio.
275
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Aw, honey, I hate to see you cry like this.
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Well, it's the only way I know how to cry.
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You jilted me.
278
00:13:25,312 --> 00:13:27,982
Honey I--
279
00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:29,250
I didn't jilt you.
280
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,118
Well, somebody did.
281
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:34,622
I came here to get married and I'm still single.
282
00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,223
And let go of my hand.
283
00:13:36,323 --> 00:13:37,691
No, sir.
284
00:13:37,792 --> 00:13:39,927
You promised his hand to me in marriage.
285
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,028
You gave it to me.
286
00:13:41,128 --> 00:13:43,531
I'm going to explain to you why I was late,
287
00:13:43,631 --> 00:13:45,633
and if you want your hand back, then I'll be
288
00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:48,502
perfectly happy to give to you.
289
00:13:48,602 --> 00:13:49,737
Make it fast.
290
00:13:49,837 --> 00:13:51,539
My train leaves in an hour.
291
00:13:58,245 --> 00:13:59,747
Do you know something?
292
00:13:59,847 --> 00:14:03,684
A few seconds ago, I was very, very sorry that I came late.
293
00:14:03,784 --> 00:14:05,953
But now I'm kind of glad.
294
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,721
You have just shown me a side of yourself
295
00:14:07,822 --> 00:14:09,757
that you've kept hidden.
296
00:14:09,857 --> 00:14:11,592
Do you know that you are a very stubborn,
297
00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:14,328
unreasonable, egocentric young lady?
298
00:14:14,428 --> 00:14:16,564
How dare you!
299
00:14:16,664 --> 00:14:18,299
And give me back my hand.
300
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,400
I'll give it back to you just as
301
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:21,268
soon as I'm finished with it.
302
00:14:21,368 --> 00:14:22,803
Now, I'll admit that you suffered
303
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,605
a little mental anguish here today.
304
00:14:24,705 --> 00:14:26,473
Are you so self-centered that you haven't noticed
305
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,342
that I am suffering too?
306
00:14:28,442 --> 00:14:30,845
Oh, are you?
307
00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:34,014
I'm wincing with pain every few seconds.
308
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:35,015
Ooh.
309
00:14:35,115 --> 00:14:36,050
Ow.
310
00:14:38,285 --> 00:14:40,721
Did you even notice that I'm covered with grease,
311
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,257
and my ankles is swollen to twice its normal size?
312
00:14:43,357 --> 00:14:45,993
Oh!
313
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,728
Don't touch my foot.
314
00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:53,767
Well, what happened?
315
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:56,136
There, that's what you should have
316
00:14:56,237 --> 00:14:57,805
said when you first saw me.
317
00:14:57,905 --> 00:15:00,708
Oh, Rob, what did happen?
318
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:01,842
Well, it's a long story.
319
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,178
You might miss your train.
320
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,214
I'd like to hear it.
321
00:15:07,314 --> 00:15:10,317
Well, to tell you the truth, when I got up this morning,
322
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:12,019
I was scared.
323
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:16,423
I wasn't sure that our getting married was such a good idea.
324
00:15:16,523 --> 00:15:19,593
Well, I'll admit I had some doubts.
325
00:15:19,693 --> 00:15:20,961
All single men do.
326
00:15:21,061 --> 00:15:23,564
All single men who don't want to get married.
327
00:15:23,664 --> 00:15:26,467
All single men.
328
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,403
There's a foreverness about marriage.
329
00:15:29,503 --> 00:15:30,337
It's frightening.
330
00:15:30,437 --> 00:15:31,605
Not to me.
331
00:15:31,705 --> 00:15:34,842
Well, you've never been a single man.
332
00:15:34,942 --> 00:15:39,546
Well, anyway, I took a drive this morning out to our spot.
333
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,750
Had a nice long talk with myself.
334
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,286
I tried very hard to convince myself that our getting married
335
00:15:45,386 --> 00:15:46,987
was a big mistake.
336
00:15:47,087 --> 00:15:47,922
Oh?
337
00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:49,256
Yeah.
338
00:15:49,356 --> 00:15:51,592
For every good reason I could come up with that I should
339
00:15:51,692 --> 00:15:53,727
marry you, I came up with about 10
340
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,496
good reasons why I shouldn't.
341
00:15:55,596 --> 00:15:57,665
That's nice.
342
00:15:57,765 --> 00:16:02,002
There's only one good reason I couldn't knock down.
343
00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:03,704
I love you.
344
00:16:03,804 --> 00:16:06,206
I know it's a ridiculous reason to get married,
345
00:16:06,307 --> 00:16:09,810
but I'm a little old fashioned.
346
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:12,846
Well, that's my story.
347
00:16:12,947 --> 00:16:14,181
If you want to go catch your train,
348
00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:16,951
you're perfectly free to go.
349
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:19,787
How did you hurt your ankle?
350
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:23,557
Well, the Jeep broke down, and I started running here,
351
00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:26,226
and I tripped and sprained it.
352
00:16:26,327 --> 00:16:27,995
How did you get back here?
353
00:16:28,095 --> 00:16:29,029
I hopped.
354
00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:34,068
All the way?
355
00:16:34,168 --> 00:16:37,404
2 and 1/2 hours.
356
00:16:37,504 --> 00:16:39,073
I believe this is yours.
357
00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:45,479
Next Sunday?
358
00:16:45,579 --> 00:16:46,714
Yes.
359
00:16:52,653 --> 00:16:55,823
Anyway, Rich, we arranged to be married the following Sunday.
360
00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:58,692
All our friends and relatives stayed over at the camp.
361
00:16:58,792 --> 00:17:02,096
That's when you and Daddy got married.
362
00:17:02,196 --> 00:17:03,397
No, we didn't.
363
00:17:03,497 --> 00:17:05,299
You backed out again, Daddy?
364
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,667
Well, not exactly.
365
00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,769
As a matter of fact, Mommy thought I backed out,
366
00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:10,437
and she backed out.
367
00:17:10,537 --> 00:17:11,572
Did you, Mommy?
368
00:17:11,672 --> 00:17:13,974
Well, yes, in a way.
369
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:14,908
Why?
370
00:17:15,009 --> 00:17:16,810
LAURA: Well, because at the time,
371
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,246
things happened to Daddy that I didn't know about.
372
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,051
There you are.
373
00:17:24,151 --> 00:17:26,153
And have you been using your cane, Sergeant?
374
00:17:29,523 --> 00:17:31,291
Sergeant?
375
00:17:31,392 --> 00:17:32,226
Sergeant!
376
00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,527
Sir?
377
00:17:33,627 --> 00:17:35,329
Is there anything wrong with your hearing?
378
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,497
No, no.
379
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,766
It feels fine, it's not even tight.
380
00:17:41,902 --> 00:17:44,438
I said, is there anything wrong with your hearing.
381
00:17:44,538 --> 00:17:47,474
Oh, no, sir-- excuse me--
382
00:17:47,574 --> 00:17:49,710
I think I got a little soap in my ear
383
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:51,578
when I-- when I showered.
384
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,747
[coughing]
385
00:17:53,847 --> 00:17:55,249
How does your throat feel?
386
00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:56,183
Sir?
387
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,352
I said how does your throat feel?
388
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,386
Oh.
389
00:17:59,486 --> 00:18:00,587
It's--
390
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,189
[coughing]
391
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,191
It--
392
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:08,962
[coughing]
393
00:18:09,063 --> 00:18:10,164
What was the question?
394
00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:14,768
I said, how does your throat feel?
395
00:18:14,868 --> 00:18:15,936
Oh, it feels fine.
396
00:18:16,036 --> 00:18:17,271
Fine.
397
00:18:17,371 --> 00:18:20,240
I think we better have a peek at your throat and ears.
398
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:20,941
Sir, I don't--
399
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:22,209
I don't have time to.
400
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,544
I've got to get over to the chapel.
401
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,845
- Ah. - Ah.
402
00:18:24,945 --> 00:18:26,180
In about 20 minutes-- - Ah.
403
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:26,914
Ah.
404
00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:29,149
It about 20 minutes--
405
00:18:29,249 --> 00:18:30,084
Please, Sergeant.
406
00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:31,118
Ah.
407
00:18:33,253 --> 00:18:34,188
Ahh.
408
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:40,160
Uh-huh.
409
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:41,161
Ahh.
410
00:18:45,566 --> 00:18:48,435
Now breathe through your mouth.
411
00:18:48,535 --> 00:18:51,105
[wheezing]
412
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,612
[coughing]
413
00:18:58,712 --> 00:19:00,214
Again.
414
00:19:00,314 --> 00:19:02,616
[wheezing]
415
00:19:02,716 --> 00:19:06,053
[coughing]
416
00:19:06,153 --> 00:19:09,556
[wheezing]
417
00:19:09,656 --> 00:19:11,058
That's fine, Sergeant.
418
00:19:11,158 --> 00:19:12,459
Can I stop breathing now?
419
00:19:12,559 --> 00:19:14,027
Yes.
420
00:19:14,128 --> 00:19:15,696
Thanks.
421
00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:16,930
Corporal.
422
00:19:19,466 --> 00:19:21,401
You're a sick man, Sergeant.
423
00:19:21,502 --> 00:19:24,571
You have a nice upper respiratory infection.
424
00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:26,573
Oh, I have that all the time.
425
00:19:26,673 --> 00:19:28,175
Yes, Captain?
426
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:30,144
It looks like we got a little epidemic brewing.
427
00:19:30,244 --> 00:19:32,412
Prepare a hospital admittance for the Sergeant.
428
00:19:32,513 --> 00:19:33,981
Yes, sir.
429
00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:36,350
I think you'll have to spend a few days in the hospital.
430
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,051
No, Doctor, I can't stay at a hospital,
431
00:19:38,152 --> 00:19:39,920
I've got to get over to the chapel.
432
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,189
You'll just have to miss chapel this week.
433
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:43,657
No, sir, you don't understand.
434
00:19:43,757 --> 00:19:44,558
I've got to go.
435
00:19:44,658 --> 00:19:46,093
I've got to get married.
436
00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:47,127
Oh?
437
00:19:52,299 --> 00:19:55,402
You see, what happened was, I disappointed her last week.
438
00:19:55,502 --> 00:19:56,336
Oh.
439
00:19:56,436 --> 00:19:57,271
No.
440
00:19:57,371 --> 00:19:59,540
I walked down in my sprained ankle.
441
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,141
I didn't show up.
442
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,043
If I don't show up this time, she'll think I'm backing out,
443
00:20:03,143 --> 00:20:04,912
but couldn't you just let me go over and get
444
00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:06,180
married and come right back?
445
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,282
Shouldn't take over an hour.
446
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:09,616
I'm afraid not.
447
00:20:09,716 --> 00:20:13,520
Now you'll just have to phone your fiancee and tell her
448
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,790
she'll have to remain a fiancee for at least another week.
449
00:20:16,890 --> 00:20:18,625
Another week?
450
00:20:18,725 --> 00:20:20,494
Easy, Sergeant.
451
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,596
Right over here.
452
00:20:22,696 --> 00:20:23,764
There you go.
453
00:20:23,864 --> 00:20:25,332
There you are.
454
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,434
Come on, corporal, the Sergeant has a personal call to make.
455
00:20:30,804 --> 00:20:33,540
Oh, she's going to kill me.
456
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,510
She'll never forgive me.
457
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,911
Hello, operator.
458
00:20:38,011 --> 00:20:43,450
Op-- operator.
459
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:46,753
Would you get me guest bungalow number three?
460
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:49,356
[coughing]
461
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,490
That's right.
462
00:20:50,591 --> 00:20:52,492
Yes, room number one.
463
00:20:52,593 --> 00:20:53,427
That's all right, operator.
464
00:20:53,527 --> 00:20:54,461
I'll wait.
465
00:20:58,832 --> 00:20:59,933
Hello, honey.
466
00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:01,768
Honey, I got some bad news for you.
467
00:21:01,868 --> 00:21:05,372
We can't get married till next week.
468
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:06,607
Now don't cry, honey.
469
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:21,989
Don't cry, honey.
470
00:21:22,089 --> 00:21:23,790
We'll get married next week.
471
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:25,125
That's all right, go ahead.
472
00:21:25,225 --> 00:21:27,127
We'll use the flowers and get new flowers.
473
00:21:29,529 --> 00:21:30,564
Sorry, sweetheart.
474
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,531
Don't cry.
475
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:32,933
Your mother can come back.
476
00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:34,401
That's right, we can have all the people
477
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:35,869
back for the reception.
478
00:21:35,969 --> 00:21:37,104
That's right.
479
00:21:39,773 --> 00:21:40,674
We'll have it next week.
480
00:21:40,774 --> 00:21:42,676
You see I'm in the hospital.
481
00:21:42,776 --> 00:21:44,244
Ah-ha.
482
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:45,245
Uh-huh.
483
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:46,913
I'm in a hospital, honey.
484
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,817
I have a temperature of 102.
485
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:54,888
You wouldn't want me to start and epidemic,
486
00:21:54,988 --> 00:21:57,424
would you, honey, all over the chapel?
487
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,159
Don't cry, sweetheart.
488
00:22:04,898 --> 00:22:07,467
[crash]
489
00:22:09,236 --> 00:22:10,604
ROB (VOICEOVER): I went to the chapel,
490
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,306
but I might just as well have stayed in the infirmary.
491
00:22:12,406 --> 00:22:14,174
My ears were so stuffed I couldn't hear one
492
00:22:14,274 --> 00:22:16,643
word the chaplain was saying.
493
00:22:16,743 --> 00:22:21,248
Robert Petrie, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wife,
494
00:22:21,348 --> 00:22:24,284
to love and to cherish, in sickness--
495
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,319
I do.
496
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,022
I don't.
497
00:22:33,126 --> 00:22:37,364
In sickness and in health until death do you part?
498
00:22:41,802 --> 00:22:43,837
I do.
499
00:22:43,937 --> 00:22:46,039
And do you, Laura, take this man
500
00:22:46,139 --> 00:22:50,911
to love and to cherish in sickness and in health,
501
00:22:51,011 --> 00:22:52,779
till death do you part?
502
00:22:52,879 --> 00:22:53,980
I do.
503
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,983
I do.
504
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,252
I don't.
505
00:22:59,353 --> 00:23:03,056
If there be anyone present who knows why these two should not
506
00:23:03,156 --> 00:23:06,760
be joined in lawful wedlock, let him speak
507
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:09,896
now or forever hold his peace.
508
00:23:09,997 --> 00:23:12,532
I do.
509
00:23:12,632 --> 00:23:14,601
Well, so do I!
510
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:23,377
I didn't kiss her yet.
511
00:23:23,477 --> 00:23:24,111
Am I married?
512
00:23:24,211 --> 00:23:25,278
Not quite, Sargent.
513
00:23:25,379 --> 00:23:27,047
I better go get her, then.
514
00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:33,286
So you and Mommy never got married?
515
00:23:33,387 --> 00:23:37,357
No, I explained to Mom, and we finally got married.
516
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:38,091
When?
517
00:23:38,191 --> 00:23:39,559
That same day.
518
00:23:39,659 --> 00:23:41,294
Your daddy and I were married in the camp hospital.
519
00:23:41,395 --> 00:23:43,630
That's a silly place.
520
00:23:43,730 --> 00:23:46,400
Well, but it doesn't matter where you marry,
521
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,502
it's who you marry that counts.
522
00:23:48,602 --> 00:23:51,004
I'm glad you and Mommy got married.
523
00:23:51,104 --> 00:23:52,072
So are we.
524
00:23:52,172 --> 00:23:53,607
Why are you glad?
525
00:23:53,707 --> 00:23:56,610
Because if you didn't get married, I wouldn't be here,
526
00:23:56,710 --> 00:24:00,547
and I'd miss all my best television programs.
527
00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:03,150
[laughing]
528
00:24:06,186 --> 00:24:07,854
Sit down, Rich.
529
00:24:07,954 --> 00:24:09,423
Now, this is the wedding, Rich.
530
00:24:09,523 --> 00:24:11,425
My friends took home movies of it.
531
00:24:11,525 --> 00:24:13,727
RICHIE: Why's everyone wearing masks?
532
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:15,862
LAURA: So we wouldn't catch Daddy's cold.
533
00:24:15,962 --> 00:24:17,164
Oh.
534
00:24:17,264 --> 00:24:19,032
ROB: There's the chaplain.
535
00:24:19,132 --> 00:24:21,067
There's us shaking hands.
536
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,437
Those are my slippers.
537
00:24:23,537 --> 00:24:25,939
That's Mommy and me kissing.
538
00:24:26,039 --> 00:24:27,474
And that's us kissing again.
539
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:36,683
Boy you two sure kiss a lot.
540
00:24:36,783 --> 00:24:39,986
Show me that again, Daddy.
541
00:24:40,086 --> 00:24:41,555
OK.
542
00:24:41,655 --> 00:24:43,256
Not that, that.
543
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:58,705
[MUSIC - END THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
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